So I decided to watch Jericho last night to see what all the hubub is about. I wanted to find out what the deal was with the nuclear attacks, who was behind it, etc. Turns out that it was an inside job. Yep, forces in the U.S. government and/or U.S. military were behind the attack. Sound familiar? Is Alex Jones and other 911 truthers creative consultants on this show? I regret the space wasted on my DVR.
I made the mistake of turning on Rome today and of course he commented on the Quinn thing. "It better not be true." "I know you're smarter than that Brady." Yeah Jim, it's a real surprise a football player would rip on gays. Am I the only one who knows that there is a bigtime culture in football that is not hardcore anti-gay but is in fact steeped in gay jokes and the like. John Feinstein acknowledged this when he wrote his book on the Army Navy football rivalry. He encountered it while traveling with the teams for his book.
The real story here is not what Quinn did or didn't say, it is rather the ridiculous overreaction of the ghey guy. Calling 911 emergency over a verbal insult? You're foolish, sir.
Speaking of working on technical manuals, I recently came across a typo that resulted in a particularly hilarious sexual inuendo. There was a sentence in a document dealing with applying torque to a nut (tightening a nut on a bolt). In this case the word "torquing" became "tonguing".
This resulted in: "Hold nut stationary during tonguing".
Honorable Mention, Toughest Man Alive, 21st Century: John Coward
This British Airways co-pilot successfully landed a Boeing 777 after the plane experienced a complete, catastrophic failure of both engines and the plane's electrical systems. This occurred seconds before the landing approach. Only a handful of people were hurt.
Actor Heath Ledger died. Nothing against the guy, but he's just an actor. Not a big deal really. But I expect a lot of hyperbolic praise will be forthcoming from the media, giving him near saint status.
Stephen A Smith went off on Rudy Giuliani while on Hardball. On the face of it, it doesn't bother me, but what does bother me is that he gave no real reason for why he thinks Rudy would be a dictator (LMAO). Just another Wilbon with a louder mouth.
There'd be "no foreign relations"? Nice train of thought, Smith, well spoken.
In kkk's 8pm post I asked what his new job was. So in fairness, I'll partially spill the beans as to what I do.
I write greeting cards.
I work on technical documents for Industrial Gas Turbines and Gas Generators. What are those? Do a search I don't feel like explaining it. I work for a giant (evil) defense contractor. I have to deal with people in a foreign country on a daily basis, which is just so much fun. I'm kind of both an editor and writer of technical documents.
This study is creating a buzz about perceptions of high-priced wines versus low-priced wines. Everybody is talking about this, man they are just goo-goo over this story. People in the study were more satisfied with wines labeled at a high-price over the same wine labeled with a low price. So what? How is this not a no-brainer to everyone? Of course people are influenced by price, not to mention product labeling in terms of looks and packaging. The perception is, high price means better and we all fall into that trap more often than not.
Now I will say that lower priced generics or store brand products at the grocery store are, by and large, crap. There are certain products that I will always pay more for the brand because the brand name product is just plain better. But for other products, the generic version is fine.
My No-Generic-Ever list:
peanut butter (Jiff)
barbeque sauce (no store brand ever, may try an unknown premium brand)
salad dressing (same as BBQ sauce)
spaghetti sauce (same as BBQ sauce)
cookie dough (only Pillsbury or Nestle)
Quaker oatmeal (the kind you add hot water)
baked beans (Bushs)
Generic Ok list:
100% fruit juice, e.g. cranberry/apple juice
Finalist: Toughest Man Alive, 20th Century: William H. Rankin, Marine Corps pilot
Rankin survived a "fall" (he had a parachute) from 44,000 feet in the 1950s. The engines on his plane seized, he ejected, but his chute opened too soon. It so happened that he was above a thunderstorm at the time. He spent 40 minutes WITHIN the storm clouds being buffeted around. Finally he fell to Earth, still alive. He is the only known human being to have been inside the clouds of a thunderstorm.
Finalist: Toughest Man Alive, 21st Century: Alcides Moreno, New York City window washer
Moreno fell an incredible 47 floors from a NYC skyscraper when his scaffolding fell. When the scaffolding gave way, he laid down flat against bottom of the platform, an action which probably resulted in his surviving the eventual impact.
Sir Edmund Hillary died yesterday. He reached the top of Mount Everest seconds before his Sherpa companion in 1953. Chalk another victory/oppression up for the white man. Couldn't he simply have let Norgay go ahead of him, in the interest of political correctness?
Remember when you screwed around in your yard or your friend's yard, doing kid things like playing fort, setting paper airplanes on fire, maybe the odd cherry bomb here and there? Well, things have progressed since those olden times. Like making an explosive device powerful enough to blow up a backyard playset and killing someone in the process.
What is the psychology at work where we have changed the way we say the year? New Years resolution: saying "twenty oh eight" instead of "two thousand eight", as in "nineteen oh eight" instead of "one thousand nine hundred eight".
The Ohio State Buckeyes are preparing for the title game on Monday night (the end of which I'll surely miss because I'll be asleep--play the damn game on a Saturday afternoon for crissakes). They are in the exact opposite position this year as they were in last year. Last year they were annointed the champions prior to the game; this time they are a non-entity and are said to be not deserving of playing for the BCS championship. There are plenty of criticisms, and yes insults, directed at the OSU team for their lackluster schedule and perceived slow, lumbering nature (how did lumbering Michigan do against speedy SEC Florida?). And those criticisms are reaching the eyes and ears of the players, courtesy of a DVD given to them that contains clips of various pundits and others pontificating on why they are so bad.
I think the underdog has won every BCS title game, save one. I think that's the case and if so perhaps it bodes well for the Buckeyes. One thing is for certain--if the Buckeyes lose this game, it will harm their reputation for a long, long time. In this case the answer to the question "Is it better to have gotten to the championship and lost, or not gotten there at all?" is clearly that they would have better off to have not gotten there.
Some recent cases in Ohio demonstrating how f'd up we are.
A man's home is invaded by two robbers. One of the robbers stabs the man's son. The man has a gun in the house and shoots one of the robbers. Police arrive and while performing their investigation see a small bag of pot out in the open in his house. It also happens that the man disdains banks and keeps his savings in a safe in his house. Police seize every penny of his savings under the authority of a law that is intended to seize the profits of drug dealers. Eventually the city where the man resides takes his money...all of it, permanently. They take the money because they demand that he produce receipts, checks, etc. for the money and he doesn't have it. So they assume it's drug money. The guy is guilty until he proves that he's innocent. Bassackwards, sounds to me.
Columbus, Ohio has an odd law that allows women to sunbathe topless in city parks. The police have begun an operation whereby they have an undercover policewoman hanging out at a park topless. This is done to catch perverts, etc. In one case a firefighter (the man had driven by the park on several occasions and seen her) went over to sit with her. I believe he went on his own volition but I'm not sure. This guy was a normal citizen by all accounts, was not suspected of any "perverted behavior" at the park. So he sits down and she begins to come on to him, eventually asking him to unzip and show her his wang, wanger, john thomas, you choose the term. I repeat, she asked him, he was not the one who offered to "pull it out". He then "pulled it out" and immediately several cops came rushing out of the bushes nearby to arrest him for indecent exposure. Way to go boys, you just saved the citizens from a real criminal there. Nice job. The judge was not swayed by defense claims of entrapment and found the guy guilty. What the hell, Columbus. Knock this crap off. Get your lady cop skanks to put a f**kin shirt on and leave men alone.
Jay Leno has 15 vintage Vincent motorcycles. This goes against my usual attitude (if you're wealthy buy whatever you want, be conspicuous I don't care) but in this case I think that's bullsh*t. Those bikes are too rare for him to hoard 15 of them. Take 2 and move on Jay. Let some other wealthy people have one. The Vincent bikes are classics made from 1924 to 1955 in England and are rare and highly prized. The Black Shadow and the Black Lightning are two famous models. They probably became famous in America for being the fastest production bikes of the time and also Hunter S Thompson wrote about them. Currently there is a Vincent "Black Shadow" on sale on Ebay for $45,000.
Which leads me to my next topic....
Whatever happened to the "Dude yer gettin a Dell" guy? He must be somewhere.
I don't get the buildup to the Patriots/Giants game. In order to equal the 1972 Dolphins they will have to win the Super Bowl. Until they get to the Super Bowl, I'm not interested. And besides, aren't the Giants already in the playoffs, which means they'll probably be resting players at some point and/or not playing all out to avoid injury?
My Xmas haul: 3 CDs, Mission Impossible Season 3, Lightscribe DVD+R discs, Quesadilla maker, Gamestop giftcard, a papoose type baby carrier, automatic adjustable wrench, ceiling light fixture for our kitchen (which I get to install) and some cash.
Yeah, it was really a Scotsman who would have been first in flight. He would have, nah nah nah. He was working on heavier than air flight before the Wright Brothers. But he died. Darn.
Today is the anniversary of the Wright Brothers flight. Some people just can't give credit to the Yanks where credit is due.
Well, he MAY have, but you can't really say he WOULD have because he uh, DIED. In a GLIDER accident.
A prequel to the excellent TV mini-series "Lonesome Dove" is finally coming to network television in a few weeks. It was filmed a couple years ago and has bounced around in limbo ever since. The title is "Comanche Moon". This is based on the novel by the same author as Lonesome Dove. I saw the previews and I'm afraid this may suck royally. Why? Well, anyone who knows anything about Lonesome Dove knows that the success of the original was due to the great characters of Gus and Woodrow Call. They are the central figures in the story.
So I'm watching the previews--I've seen two different versions--and between the two of them, the character of Gus appears for about 3 seconds and Call does not appear at all. I believe this is because the two actors playing the parts are awful. Awful casting that is, they may be fine actors otherwise. The guy playing Gus, Steve Zahn, (Gus is a hard-ass Texas Ranger of the old west, a traditional western badass) is the same guy who has played such goofball roles as the boyfriend in "Riding in Cars with Boys", Marvin in "Daddy Day Care", and Phoebe's husband on "Friends".
Am I being unfair by type-casting the guy? Maybe, but by any reckoning this is poor casting. I've read the book "Comanche Moon" and lest you think that maybe Gus and Call are not the central figures in the story, I'm here to tell you that they are indeed the most important characters. They are the reason for writing the book; it follows their early career as young Texas Rangers. But of course I'll sit my ass down and watch the whole darn thing anyway. Actually I'll DVR it because it is airing right in the middle of the primetime college bowl games. This is another red flag as to why I fear this will suck--why would CBS air it opposite BCS bowl games unless they are trying to hide it?. The demographic for this series is mainly men 18-50. Precisely the same demographic for college bowl games. I'll report back once I've seen it and admit my error if indeed it turns out to be excellent
So I saw the preview for "I Am Legend" starring Wil Smith. This is based on a Richard Matheson book of the same title and has been made into a film two times previously. You could say the story is about zombie/vampires--the Earth's population is killed by a plague and they turn into these living dead creatures, except for one remaining man....or is he really alone? Hmmm, living dead? Yeah, I think the first film version of this--The Last Man on Earth starring Vincent Price--was Night of the Living Dead before there was a Night of the Living Dead. Romero's zombie flick borrows a lot from the Price movie. In Last Man On Earth, people die and come back as zombie/vampires. They walk slowly and can be avoided pretty easily. They exist to kill Price. In other words, just like Night of the Living Dead, made three years after LMOE.
The second filmed version is "The Omega Man" starring Charlton Heston. It is really good though a bit dated, having been made in 1971 and is very much a 70s movie.
This new remake will suck. All I needed to see was a CGI deer, a CGI lion, and a central casting vampire snarling 6 inches from Wil Smith's face. Jesus. It will make a reasonably amount of money due to Wil Smith, but nothing spectacular. It will be completely forgotten 6 months from now.
I was semi looking forward to "Hitman", but the reviews have absolutely dogged on it. Apparently it is terrible.
"The Mist"? LOL. A lame excuse for King to preach about the evil that is the U.S. military and Christianity.
That leaves the new Coen brothers movie. HELL YEAH. Cannot wait for this. A dead solid no-brainer. It will be awesome.
Well the baby arrived 4 weeks early. Oh, it's real fun dealing with an unexpected newborn in the house and trying to arrange 50,000 different things. My wife had a C-section, which went well. Her labor wasn't progressing so the doc took the easy way out. My wife's uncle by sheer coincidence was visiting the U.S. He lives in China and he said about 75% of all births in China are done by C-section. Well, you've got to assembly line things when you're dealing with however many billion people are in that lovely Communist dictatorship. That's all for now...your life becomes a series of 15 minute breaks to do what you want when you've got a newborn around.
Oh, yeah you guessed the arrival part of the entry subject. But what does the departure mean? That would be my life departing as I knew it.
And the white zone thing is from "Airplane".
South Park's new episode wednesday did not disappoint. While Randy was not in the ep as much as I thought he would be, it was great nonetheless. Stan and Kyle play "Guitar Hero", score 100,000 points, and ultimately get dissed by the game in a homophobic finale. Randy had not one, but two classic tighty whitey moments, which has become his trademark.
Phil Hendrie's new show continues to be very good. He has kept the loony "guests" but has dispensed with taking calls from real people. Fine by me, the real callers were boring anyway. He has pissed off many of his fans for doing this and also pissed them off for his pro-Iraq war, pro-Bush stances. They just can't stand that he has these views--of course they had no problem with him when he expressed his very liberal views on his old show, pre-9/11. Besides, he still has a lot of liberal views, but the war thing tends to dominate. Anyway, you go Phil, you're awesome.
Clinton stiffs waitress.
No, no, Hillary....not Bill.
Or did she?
The only thing about this story that has any relevance is that media outlets are using the word "waitress". I thought this word was outmoded, outdated, and otherwise sexist. I guess it's ok since she is from Iowa, and well, you know, those folks out there aren't as sophisticated as the rest of the country.
This from the Orwellian file:
Holiday Display Task Force in Ft Collins, Co.
An example of some of the policy suggestions: Avoid snowflakes and red and green lighting--these things are too closely relatable to Christmas. My advice, remember this season to 'X' out--Xmas not Christmas!
The founder of the Weather Channel went apeshit over the idea of catastrophic man-made global warming yesterday. Check out this rant:
Jesus, at least when an American goes nuts and kills people they have the ability to finish the suicide portion of the process properly.
The shooter posted a video of himself on Youtube.
So I guess by attempting suicide, he feels that he is unfit and a disgrace to the human race.
This weeks South Park promises to be awesome for one simple reason--Stan's dad Randy plays a prominent part. Randy has become the show's best and funniest character, leaving Cartman and Butters in his wake. He's already kicked ass this season with his world record defecation (confirmed by a Swiss group that oversees fecal measuring accuracy). This week will follow the much praised Imaginationland Trilogy, which I thought started out great but fizzled at the end of "Episode III". Randy Is The Man.
Al Gore was asked a tough question about someone in the IPCC who disagrees with some of his conclusions regarding climate change. His response--
"He's an outlyer, he's no longer with the IPCC."
Way to confront an opposing view. Just call him an "outlyer" and move on.
Following up on my Bengals post, there was a Q&A with none other than Mike Brown in today's Cincinnati Enquirer. This is perhaps the most comical example of front office football buffoonery ever recorded.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in the previous post that the Bengals do NOT have an official GM. When he took over the team as president in 1992, Mikey was basically the GM/President. When asked during this Q&A if he would hire a GM, he said no, we currently have a 3-headed GM consisting of himself, his daughter Katie Blackburn, and his son-in-law Troy Blackburn (Katie's husband).
Here are some choice samples:
What's served for lunch? Right you tight-ass, gotta check the prices on the vegetable tray.
King Kong, rabbits...my head is spinning.
Jesus, now elephants too?
You're not sure who Hines Ward is? It's kind of important seeing how Pittsburgh is in your division.
Awwwwwww, he's glum.
Finally a decent horror moive...from 27 years ago. After the crap movies I saw for Halloween, I finally saw a decent one this weekend. "The Burning" is a classic summer camp slasher from 1980. In a word, awesome. I love the free-wheeling, PC-free attitude of those times. Kids at summer camp swearing, smoking, running around with beebee guns shooting at people. In other things that would get you expelled and sent to a social worker these days. The story involves a mean summer camp caretaker who is horribly burned in a prank gone bad. Of course he exacts his revenge with hedge clippers. Fuckin A.
During NBC's laughable green segment during the SNF halftime show, Matt Lauer referred to Al Gore as one of the "best minds" on Climate Change. Best minds? What exactly is his science degree in?
So the purpose of the segment is turns off the lights in the studio for the halftime show to demonstate being green. I'm not kidding. They had candles on the desk. Yet their generators were certainly still going, the giant plasma screen was on behind Costas' head, all the power necessary to video link to Lauer on the other side of the world was not shut down. This had to be an SNL skit, right?
We got our email notice about a Holiday Party at work today to take place December 14th. That's right, Holiday Party, not Christmas Party. Earlier this month we received an email about the Thanksgiving Luncheon that will take place November 14th. Ah PC split personality, I love it. Why is it OK to willy nilly use the word "Thanksgiving", and yet "Christmas" must NOT be used. Everyone knows it is because of Christmas that we have this party, but we must not name it so.
The Bengals suck. Why they suck is not known by people outside of Cincinnati. Bengals owner Mike Brown's first priority is not winning. He doesn't particularly care if they win or not. He doesn't do what's necessary to field a winning team. All NFL teams are of course a business and they wish to make money, but at the same time they care about winning. Not Mike Brown. The Bengals are just as capable as any other team of acquiring high quality NFL talent. This isn't high school folks, this isn't a case of "well, their school is bigger than ours and they have better players than we do." The Bengals could have acquired the same difference makers that have helped the Colts, the Patriots, etc. to become winning teams. A typical NFL team will have 10 to 20 scouts. The Bengals have 1 person designated as a scout and 3 assistant scouts. Their marketing department has 18 management people and of course more beneath them.
A few years back, Mike Brown threatened the city with taking his team away from Cincinnati if they did not give him a stadium, i.e. have the people of Cincinnati pay for it. We should have told him fine by us and have a nice day. But people gave in, in part from efforts by a "citizen" who was all over the media citing the advantages of having an NFL team in the city. (There are advantages but of course the people also want a winner.) This guy, after the whole thing was over and the deal was done, was found to be on the Bengals payroll. Brown got his stadium and a whole lot more. He is guaranteed a sellout by the city. If people get pissed and stop showing up to the games, it matters not to Brown. He still gets 100% sellout money from the city. In addition, he doesn't pay utilities for the stadium. The city pays all utilities. Nice.
The Bengals bring nothing but ridicule and embarrassment to the city and it's all on Mike Brown. May the cancer fairy visit the bastard and rid us of him for good...oh wait, his daughter, Katie Blackburn, will take over the team when he croaks. This city is screwed.
I like an original, well thought out Halloween costume. Jon Kitna, the Detroit Lions quarterback, and his wife showed up at a Monday Halloween party wearing an outstanding costume, in my opinion. But first a little backstory. Last year one of the Lions coaches was arresting for DUI--he drove through a Wendy's drive thru completely naked and drunk. Pretty funny, but also it turns out he was an alcoholic. Well, Kitna goes to the party dressed as a naked guy and his wife dressed as a Wendy's employee. Not bad. He's catching some heat in Detroit over this for being mean or whatever, but I'll cut him some slack because it's been a year. If the arrest had happened a couple weeks ago, then you have to lay off, but the time factor allows me to give him a pass.
David Copperfield is being accused of sexual assault by some lady while he was in the Bahamas. So far the reports are very tenuous at best. He has not been arrested or anything. But now, enter the media. Yes, the media God love them. They are trying to find stories, any story, that could cast Copperfield in a negative light. Get this--there is a story about a guy who attended a Copperfield show with his wife here in the States. (I heard audio of this story on the Phil Hendrie Show, I couldn't find a print link.) Well, what is this guy's deal? Apparently Copperfield sent his assistants to ask his wife if she wanted to come backstage and meet him (they weren't aware she was married to the guy). When they found out she was married they dropped the whole thing and everyone went their merry way. OH MY GOD. You mean to tell me that entertainers pick up women at their shows? NO WAY. And this story is presented in such a way that is trying to show Copperfield as a predator. Jesus, the media.
Well, I've been watching my Halloween horror movie line-up and here goes.
Land of the Dead: Not very good, I didn't enjoy it. Well, it didn't suck completely but it just wasn't entertaining. I still like "Dawn" better as well as "Night". I never liked "Day" much and guess what? Romero is remaking "Day". Why I have no idea. The one good thing about "Land" is the cameo by "Dawn" make-up artist Tom Savini as a zombie. He also had a cameo in "dawn" as a crazed biker chopping up zombies with a machete. Good stuff.
Hatchet: Pretty disappointing. I was looking forward to this, but it was a mess. It was too much of a homage/parody of Jason movies and seemed like it couldn't decide which it was. The "bad guy", a deformed backwoods type with overalls, was just silly. I guess they meant him to be silly, I don't know. There was no attempt to give him quality make-up, he looked like he was wearing a rubber suit. It clearly wasn't supposed to be legitimately scary, but it went a bit too far in the other direction. There were plenty of bare breasts and plenty of gore.
Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Meyers: Not bad, I enjoyed it. It cleared up for me the mysterious guy at the end of H5, although that whole Satanist storyline got put on the back burner/ended up on the cutting room floor. They did not flesh out the backstory on that at all. In the movie, they are trying to "capture/control" Michael's evil. But that takes a backseat to Michael doing his usual mayhem. All in all, a good flick with a good nude scene to boot.
The Burning: Have yet to see this. Now this I'm looking forward to seeing. It's the real deal, made in the early 1980s horror. Before horror movies became comedies later in the decade with the Freddy sequels. I'm sure it will be chessy, but I'm also sure it will be over-the-top and feature plenty of nude chicks. I'll report on this later in the week.
I really sick of major sporting events starting at 8pm or later on a weeknight or even on a weekend. Hey, I may sound like a grumpy old SOB because I go to bed early because of work, but I'm thinking of future generations here. There are so many kids who are missing the majority of, for example, the World Series because the damn games don't begin until 8:30pm. 11pm rolls around and they're still in the 6th inning. A great college football game took place last night (well, the first 3 and a half quarters were apparently pretty boring) and very few young football fans got the chance to see it. Nor did they see anything beyond the first couple innings of the World Series game (providing they have responsible parents who get their ass in bed on a school night). There's a game on Saturday night, and it could well be the only game played on a non-school day.
I dare anyone to name the last World Series day game for crissakes.
Alright enough bitching. I think Fox's coverage is terrific. Well, besides the awful, tired, so 20-years-ago James Taylor singing the National Anthem, which Fox may not have had a hand in anyway. I guess I'm old when I consider Jeannie Zalasko to be pretty hot.
Most radio side kicks don't bother me at all. But I listen to the Dennis Miller show and I have to say that his side kick "Sal" is the worst presence on radio that I've ever heard. This guy is HORRIBLE. Dennis seems to have a blind spot concerning this guy. He actually thinks Sal is hilarious. Sal will say the dumbest, most vapid, boring comment you've ever heard and Dennis will laugh like crazy.
Here's an example of Sal's brilliant comedy: Dennis was making a reference to Mr. Miagi from "Karate Kid", talking about how Southern California needs to prune back some of the foilage to prevent fires, like Mr. Miagi pruning the Bonsai to let it breathe. As they go into commercial break Sal chimes in with "Wax on Wax Off!". Oh God.
California Lieutenant Governor John Garamendi took the opportunity to trash Bush while being interviewed by Chris Matthews about the fires.
Graham Nash and Bonnie Raitt are on Capitol Hill fighting AGAINST the building of nuclear power plants. Nash called such plants "monsters". Huh? Good God, get over it people. Why don't you read up on France. They seem to be doing well with it.
Well, I guess I'll let it out. A kid will be arriving in our house and it isn't going to be a cat or a dog. Yep, the Terror's are expecting. A boy to be exact, due December 9th. Well, at least it'll get me off a couple weeks work....I'M KIDDING. Yes indeed, get ready for another right-winger coming into the world. I just might pipe Rush, Boortz, Beck, Medved right into his crib. But all kidding aside I'm sure I'm in for a wild ride and it's going to be great.
One thing's for sure, the kid is going to have a tennis racket and/or golf club and/or baseball glove placed in his hands as soon as he can take those first steps. Scholarship baby, scholarship, followed by million dollar paychecks, followed by new house on the coast for daddy.
Oh, and I've been going to various baby classes at the hospital. I'm dead certain my dad never had to go to a baby care class or birth class, etc. But these days it's expected that the father is going to take part in every microsecond of the birth. Yippee.