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10/12: Quickie Mart Stories For Any Time Of Day

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kkktookmybabyaway

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• You may remember me saying that I’m no fan of Christopher Shays. He’s a typical RINO whose only use is taking up space in the “R” section of the Congressional aisle. However, I have to give him props for saying the following, which got a laugh out of me.

 

The rancorous debate over ex-Rep. Mark Foley continued Wednesday when a GOP congressman said indiscretions with a male page were nothing compared to Sen. Ted Kennedy's Chappaquiddick incident.

 

Rep. Chris Shays, R-Conn., was trying to defend GOP House Speaker Dennis Hastert when he took aim at the Massachusetts Democrat.

 

"I know the speaker didn't go over a bridge and leave a young person in the water, and then have a press conference the next day," Shays told The Hartford Courant.

 

"Dennis Hastert didn't kill anybody," he added.

 

I’m sure he’ll buckle and apologize for these remarks, but fuck that. And fuck Ted Kennedy.

 

• The Chicago White Sox got a sponsor for their weeknight game times for the 2007 season. Next year, all home contests will be at and sponsored by … 7-Eleven.

 

Major League Baseball’s Chicago White Sox will start weeknight home games at 7:11 pm under a sponsorship deal with convenience store 7-Eleven.

 

Under the three-year deal with Dallas-based 7-Eleven Inc all White Sox evening games will start at 7:11 pm instead of the present kick-off time of 7 pm.

 

Call it corny. Call it a shameless way to make more money. Call it whatever. I call it brilliant. If I was getting paid seven figures (or whatever the deal is) to show up for work at a certain time, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

 

• I have mentioned before this program a local supermarket is doing in the Shittsburgh region. This store, Giant Eagle, is giving all shoppers with one of those “advantage cards” that many of these places have nowadays 10 cents off per gallon of gasoline for every $50 in groceries purchased. This program has been such a hit with consumers that another grocery store chain, Shop 'n Save, is copying this business plan and partnering up with Sunoco. That’s when you know you have a successful marketing idea; when your competitors don’t even attempt to hide the fact that they’re ripping off your promotion. Well anyway, when someone decides to “cash in” on this discounted fuel purchase they are allowed to pump up to 30 gallons of fuel. This apparently doesn’t suit one customer all that well because yesterday on a local RIGHT-WING RADIO show she was complaining that her car only holds 15 gallons of fuel and that other motorists who drive SUVs can fill up more with the discounted price. She then said it wasn't fair and that she should be allowed to fill up twice with her discounted price. Christ almighty I hate the human race.

 

• To complete my Quickie-Mart trifecta, I heard this local story about a convenience store employee who had shots fired into his place of employment the other night. Here’s the story. It was 2 a.m. in a not-so-nice part of Shittsburgh (yes, some areas are indeed worse than others) when these three guys entered and began complaining about the price of goods in this establishment. When the cashier told them that there’s nothing he can do, the customers began stealing stuff. This was when the clerk hit a device that locked the store’s doors, effectively trapping him in with two of the hoodlums. After some heated words the cashier unlocked the doors only after the customers put the stolen goods back. Shortly thereafter one of these upstanding citizens comes back into the store and fires off some shots – all caught on videotape. My question is why in the hell did the cashier lock these two thugs in the same building with him to begin with? Fuck that. If you don’t want people stealing from your store at 2 a.m. then don’t make your store open 24/7. There’s not way in hell I would even think about doing this sort of thing back when I was a cashier. If this shit happened to me, I’d just call the cops, who are usually nearby Quickie Marts anyway in the middle of the night – how many other places offer coffee and doughnuts at that time of night? With what cashiers make, there’s no way you should risk your safety because a bunch of idiots are lifting potato chips and soft drinks. The only time those doors should be locked like that is if one cashier is on duty and he or she has to be in the back room unloading and stocking recently arrived merchandise. Otherwise, leave that lock alone.

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I've heard of some instances where the cashiers locked the would be criminals in the store with them so that they couldn't escape before The Police got there. Of course in just about all of these situations the cashier was protected by a supposedly bullet-proof divider in an enclosed area behind the register. Even so, as you have already pointed out, it's just not worth it.

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I was working night shift at 7-Eleven once when this big muscular black dude came in, walked to the beer cooler, took out two suitcases (18 packs) of Budweiser and proceeded to calmly walk out the front door with them. Me and my fellow cashier were chatting and when we saw this happen we stopped talking and were like "Wow...".

 

Then we went back to whatever we had been talking about.

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I have one of those 24 hour stores right across the street from me. I have no earthly idea why anyone would take the overnight shift there because that's probably when you'd get the more unscrupulous customers, reeking of alcohol and/or pot or high on crack or something.

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