11/16: Where Were You When OJ Beat The Rap?
• I had Glenn Beck’s radio show on for a few minutes today, and he was talking about the book O.J. Simpson wrote that talked about how he would have killed his ex-wife and her boyfriend if he indeed was the real killer. Beck was then asking callers where they were the moment the O.J. verdict was read. Hey, good question. Here’s my story.
I was attending the Community College of Allegheny County at the time, and to tell you the truth I didn’t really give a shit about the O.J. case. Of course this guy off’d his wife and that Jew. Anyone with half-a-brain, or, even worse, a registered Democrat, could figured this out. Of course O.J. had a jury trial and a plethora of expensive lawyers, so naturally he was going to be acquitted. If memory serves it was late in the morning, and a few friends and I were talking in the student lounge/cafeteria when one of us overheard that the verdict was about to be read. I pulled out my Walkman and these crappy portable speakers from my book bag and we began listening for the “not guilties” to be read. Of course, we all were young and still had a smidgen of home that justice would be served on this day. Or maybe it was because we liked being loud and obnoxious. Either way, we all started chanting “Guilty, Guilty” in the student lounge. Of course, when the verdicts were actually read we responded with faux outrage, and one of my friends said, “He’s not guilty? I wanna riot!” to which I responded, “Why? We’re the ones who own everything.” Whitey represent. Of course now that I’m older, I’ve come to learn this is so not true. It’s the Jew who own everything.
Actually, I have to thank O.J. because during the trial I was taking a public speaking class and one of the projects was to come up with an ad and act it out in class. Well my friend and I (that same one who wanted to riot) came up with a 60-second ad sketch pimping the “Slice-o-toner” gloves, which featured several “get away with killing your wife” jokes, as well as an endorsement by Mr. Simpson himself. When you can be offensive and get an A for your efforts, you know you accomplished something.
Speaking of this, I just got a flashback to another time when being an asshole paid off. I mentioned this story before at TSM, but it bears repeating. I was in 11th grade and was pissed off because my English teacher gave me a B for the first grading period. Because of this B I missed out on being on the honor roll. Why I cared, I don’t know. I think I was more pissed that I didn’t get all but one B in that class (the rest of my grades were A’s) and I didn’t end up with an A for that nine-week period. Well, for some reason I decided that if I wrote a racially insensitive paper about the ever-so-popular literary topic of “Was Mark Twain a RACIST for saying bad things about black people in his stories?” I’d get my revenges (we had just read Huckleberry Finn in this class). I don’t remember much about this paper, but I recall saying something like, “Twain wasn’t a racist because back then blacks were seen as nothing but dumb niggers who went out in the field and picked cotton all day for their white masters.” I showed this paper to my friend before turning it in, and he couldn’t believe I was going through with this act of “vengeance.” When I got my paper back, I was surprised to see that I got an A (or a check-plus or whatever grading system Mrs. Thomson used) while my friend got a C/average grade for his paper that he spent time actually thinking preparing.
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This chick calls in and says that her son (late teens/early 20s, I think) recently served several weeks of jail time for pulling a gun on her. I don’t really know what the lady’s reason for calling was, but she did say that she doesn’t feel threatened around her oldest son (she had three or four more younger kids pop out of her snatch). Why does she think this way? “I feel he’s changed.” Plus he said he’s sorry.
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