12/16: Cold Office, Cold Feet
• So I’ve just put in nearly a 12-hour workday here at the office, and what has been on this entire time in the middle of December? Why, the AIR CONDITIONING! Now you may be thinking right now that I’m going to go off on a bitch-fest about how cold it is in building and stuff. Far from it. In fact, I love me a cold work environment. My reasons? Here they are in no particular order.
1) Cold rooms let you know you’re still alive. When I'm in a hotbox for eight hours doing white-collar work, I usually doze off about five to six hours into my day. And if you eat anything remotely filling for lunch, you’ll be snoozing in two hour’s tops.
2) When it’s cold outside, you feel the bite of a breeze whenever someone opens a nearby door, should you be near a building’s entrance or exit. When it’s hot outside, you smell people’s body odor, or, worse yet, feet. Good God does that make me want to throw up my lunch. I guess on the bright side if I throw up my lunch I won’t fall asleep from it later in the day.
3) When it’s hot outside, I’ve noticed that if you’re working in front of a computer you tend to get fatigued more, thus becoming more susceptible to headaches and other fun stuff. With the cold, you have a better chance of not feeling comatosed as your day goes by.
4) You actually have an excuse to use sick days. Snowing outside? Hear about a commuter’s nightmare on the morning news? Fuck that shit. I’m staying home. If you want me to come to work so bad, then pick me up, bitch.
5) When I’m doing the behind-the-desk thing, I like to get up and walk down the hall and back every now and then. When it’s hot I sometimes forget to do this until it’s too late and the eye fatigue kicks in. When it’s cold, getting up to circulate the ol’ blood flow is more likely to occur.
So there you have it. Five good reasons why it’s better to be chilly than sweltering at your workplace. Now granted I prefer sunny weather to snowy conditions, but that’s when I’m not earning my paycheck. Otherwise, crank up the AC.
• So Evan Bayh isn’t going to run for president. I’ll survive. Oddly enough, he is one of those Democrats I don’t mind, much like South Dakota’s one Senator Tim Johnson. However, the Indiana Senator has been moving up on my shit list over the last few years, so maybe after another couple of bad votes I might start saying, “kiss my ass” to him as well. Still, he’s no Hitlery.
• Time has just named “You” its Person of the Year. Nobody better say shit about my Top 103 Posters coutdown now.
NEW YORK (AP) - Congratulations! You are the Time magazine "Person of the Year."
The annual honor for 2006 went to each and every one of us, as Time cited the shift from institutions to individuals - citizens of the new digital democracy, as the magazine put it. The winners this year were anyone using or creating content on the World Wide Web.
"If you choose an individual, you have to justify how that person affected millions of people," said Richard Stengel, who took over as Time's managing editor earlier this year. "But if you choose millions of people, you don't have to justify it to anyone."
The magazine did cite 26 "People Who Mattered," from North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il to Pope Benedict XVI to the troika of President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.
And Stengel said if the magazine had decided to go with an individual, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was the likely choice. "It just felt to me a little off selecting him," Stengel said.
The 2006 "Person of the Year" package hits newsstands Monday. The cover shows a white keyboard with a mirror for a computer screen where buyers can see their reflection.
It was not the first time the magazine went away from naming an actual person for its "Person of the Year." In 1966, the 25-and-under generation was cited; in 1975, American women were named; and in 1982, the computer was chosen.
"I always love it when it's a person - and it is a person, not a computer or something like that," Stengel said. "We just felt there wasn't a single person who embodied this phenomenon."
Last year's winners were Bill and Melinda Gates and rock star Bono, who were cited for their charitable work and activism aimed at reducing global poverty and improving world health.
Wow. I remember when they changed their title from “Man of the Year” to “Person of the Year.” OMG political correctness. Then, in 2001, instead of choosing “Osama bin Laden,” who, like it or not, made an impact on quite a few lives that year, Time pussied out and went with “Rudy Giulani. Then a couple years ago they had some stupid “Whistleblowers” on; I think they were all chicks, too. With all that being said, I have to say this has to be by far the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard (although those three non-person awardees that the above article cited in its third-to-last paragraph are right up there, too). Well, at least until the next time I read something stupid from the mainstreamliberalpress.
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