3/29: Leaving Political Correctness Off The Field
7:15 p.m.
• For the last few weeks, I’ve been on a “Cops” kick. I guess because the white-trash tales regarding the crackwhore sister-in-law and her out-of-control daughter have recently come to a halt, I need to go elsewhere for my fix. I remember years ago this comedian had a bit about someone he knew that watched this show and tried to guess the race of the perp before he or she showed up on television. Sadly, that’s what I’m doing now, and I’m pretty good at it. In fact, I now have to add another twist to this game: if the perp is white, will he (or she!) be wearing a shirt? And if the perp is black, I try to understand at least half of what the crack head/car thief/druggie says during his 15 minutes of fame on television. And just why am I watching this show? About 45 minutes ago I got done viewing an episode where two girls in a trailer park got into a fight. According to the witnesses, one parent watched the scuffle. But when the other kid’s parent came out to see what was going on, Parent 1 (allegedly) threw a beer at Parent 2. As the po-pos were trying to figure out what was going on, they spoke with Parent 2, who admitted to letting her kid punch the other kid, saying, “This is a trailer park. It’s what they do.”
Oh, but it got better. The next segment had two cops pull up to a house where a 7-year-old locked his mom out of their residence. To make matters better, this brat was making faces by the window when the officers were telling him to let his mom back in the house. The cops eventually broke the front door and the kid hid under a bed. Once he was dragged out to the living, he began screaming and crying. He was also in nothing but his underwear.
• For as much as I hate mowing the lawn, there is one thing I despise more. Raking leaves. There is a tree in my backyard that dumps its load every November/December and I have to rake this shit up. Last year I was waiting for this annual ritual to begin, and of course the day in which all the leaves end up on the ground the better half and I were in the midst of a flu bout. Once I got over this sickness, I slept on my back in an odd way and woke up one morning with so much pain I couldn’t bend over. After a week or two when this condition went away it began to constantly rain or snow. I figured I’ll just rake this shit up come spring. It couldn’t be that bad, right? Wrong. Over the last last two days I’ve done four full leaf bags of these dried-up pieces of shit and I got a few good bags left scattered on my property. God only knows what the neighbors think because I’m sure some of my mess went onto their yard. Then again, they really don’t do much in the realm of lawn preservation, so I’m sure any “outrage” directed at me would be just for show. However, it’s the principle of it all, and I do feel like a schmuck about this mishap. Let’s just say lesson learned. I could have cancer with tubes sticking out of every body part and I’ll still rake these leaves once they fall from that damn tree.
• The MLB season hasn't even started yet and I have to listen to this shit already.
Only 8.4 percent of major league players last season were black, the lowest level in at least two decades.
As recently as 1995, 19 percent of big leaguers were black, according to Richard Lapchick, director of the University of Central Florida's Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sports. Nine percent were black in both 2004 and 2005, and the current figure is the lowest since at least the mid-1980s, he said.
Just 3 percent of pitchers were blacks in 2006, Lapchick said Thursday in his annual study, the same as the previous year.
Lapchick gave baseball a B+ for racial diversity, the same as last year, and a C+ for gender, up from a C. Its overall grade improved from C+ to B.
"Jackie Robinson's dream was to increase the percentage of African- American players as well as coaches and front-office personnel," Lapchick said. "While MLB has achieved these new distinctions regarding who runs the game, the percentage of African-Americans playing the game reached a new low."
Baseball is holding its first "Civil Rights Game" exhibition in Memphis, Tenn., this weekend and is planning a celebration on April 15 to mark the 60th anniversary of Robinson breaking the sport's color barrier.
OK, time to play “Who is more diverse?” Is it the league with
60 percent of one race
29 percent of another race
8.5 percent of another race, and
2.5 percent of another;
Or is it the league with
77 percent of one race
21 percent of another race, and
2 percent of other races;
Or is it the league with
69 percent of one race, and
31 percent of another race, plus probably a percentage or two of other races.
If you guessed the first sport, you would be selecting Major League Baseball. Sport number two is the NBA, and sport number three is the NFL. So while the PC bitches at ESPN and other national sports media figureheads gnaw on their fingernails trying to figure out how to bring more black people into America’s National Pastime, I’m doing my best to get more of “my people” those valued starting NFL cornerback slots. But I’ll throw MLB a bone on this one. You want more blacks in your game? Promote the fact being able to steal in your contests is a good thing.
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