4/20: Mowing Down My NBA Playoff Predictions
10:30 p.m.
• Time for another pic of the kids.
This was taken not too long after we first took Max in as a stray. He had a hell of a time trying to get the other two to like him. Here he is trying to charm Dessa by thinking if they lay on the same bed together it will expediate the bonding process; it's been 2+ years and he's still working on it. Well, actually, I think he's given up, and who can blame him? Bitches be trippin'.
• There’s one thing I hate more than mowing my lawn, and that’s Jews. Seriously, they own the banks, they own the media and they own the entertainment industry. And even though they want you to think they suck at sports, there’s Sandy Koufax and Shawn Green. Wait a second, I’m getting off-track. There’s two things I hate more than mowing my lawn. What’s the second thing?
Mowing my lawn for the first time in the spring.
Oh sweet Jesus do I fucking hate this shit. The grass gets a head start growing after the snow melts and the rain pours, keeping my lawnmower indoors while the land sprouts. And then when it’s warm enough for me to feel motivated and prime up the ol’ mower it takes me three-and-a-half hours and five 40 gallon lawn bags before I finish. But it’s done – for now. Where’s an undocumented Mexican when you really need one?
• I posted my NHL playoff picks a while back, and even though I think I’m doing OK over in the Eastern Conference, I know I’ve got Nashville going far in the West. Oops. Well, I might as well do the NBA now and get it over with.
EASTERN CONFERENCE -- FIRST ROUND
Magic (8) v. Pistons (1): I have no idea who is on the Magic. There’s some Howard kid that’s supposed to be good. Hey, is Bo Outlaw still playing? He is! And it looks like he still wears those funky glasses. Pistons in 5.
Wizards (7) v. Cavs (2): The Wizards should be the eighth seed by default. What a lucky break the Cavs got with the Bulls choking in their final game of the regular season, thus dropping from the second to the fifth seed and giving Cleveland this matchup. Cavs in 5.
Nets (6) v. Raptors (3): I have no clue who is on the Raptors. They got the top draft pick last year, if memory serves, so I guess that went well. Nets in 6.
Bulls (5) v. Heat (4): With all the talk about the Bulls losing the second seed, they still played Miami tough in last year’s opening round. Although the Heat have to be a good team; after all, Pat Riley has said that he will coach them next year. If the Heat were going to suck, Riles would be out like shout. Bulls in 6.
EASTERN CONFERENCE -- SECOND ROUND
Bulls (5) v. Pistons (4): I remember those Bulls/Pistons matchups from the late 1980s/early 1990s. Fuck MJ. Fuck Scottie Pippen. Pistons in 6.
Nets (6) v. Cavs (2): I like Lebron. Cavs in 6.
EASTERN CONFERENCE -- THIRD ROUND
Cavs (2) v. Pistons (1): It’ll be like last year, only one round further. Pistons in 6.
WESTERN CONFERENCE -- FIRST ROUND
Warriors (8) v. Mavericks (1): No clue who is on the Warriors. I’ve heard they’ve beaten the Mavs as of late. Hooray for them. Mavericks in 5.
Lakers (7) v. Suns (2): Hope you like scoring all those points, Kobe, because that’s all you have to look forward to. Suns in 5.
Nuggets (6) v. Spurs (3): How has the Iverson experiment gone? I haven’t been paying attention. Spurs in 5.
Rockets (5) v. Jazz (4): I’m surprised the Jazz did as good as they did. However, I heard that some European guy is hurt, and I’m not sure if it’s the really good white guy Utah has. I’m not taking any chances. Rockets in 6.
WESTERN CONFERENCE -- SECOND ROUND
Rockets (5) v. Mavericks (1): I like Yao. I like T-Mac. I don’t like Houston’s chances of moving on. Mavericks in 6.
Spurs (3) v. Suns (2): I remember watching some of last years’ Spurs/Mavericks second-round playoff matchup. What a great contest that was. It’s a shame one of these teams has to lose. Spurs in 7.
WESTERN CONFERENCE -- THIRD ROUND
Spurs (3) v. Mavericks (1): I give the nod to Dallas because San Antonio will be worn out due to all that running in their last round. Mavericks in 6.
NBA FINALS
Pistons (1) v. Mavericks (1): Dallas will finish what they started last year, and I get to laugh when David Stern hands the trophy over to Mark Cuban just as he gets on his private jet to make more pro-terrorist films. Mavericks in 6.
3 Comments
Recommended Comments