6/5: #23, Hilton In Lockdown
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 23: Bored
He’s got a hard-on for win shares, and a fiending for punishment, seeing how he has organized a TSM pick ‘em college football contest for the last few years. I was in on this action last season and did fairly well, even though I had no clue as to what I was doing. (But when is that ever not the case?) In the end I wound up getting sodomized by Kotz in the Meow Mix Pussy Bowl – oh, yeah, and Kotz correctly predicted more games during Bowl Week than I did. I should be sad that I didn’t win the title, not to mention the $50 grand prize, but considering Division I college football has no postseaon and thus produces no real champion, I guess we are all winners in the end. Talk about a self-esteem boost.
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From SFA Jack:
Could be classified as one of Keiper's stat lackeys, but there's nothing wrong with that. Has a great blog, too.
• Once again, the GOP has its head up the elephant’s ass.
Republicans on Tuesday sought a speedy ouster of Rep. William J. Jefferson from Congress, possibly before his trial on federal charges of taking more than $500,000 in bribes.
You want this guy out? Do everything you can to keep him in Congress! Let him parade in front of the cameras saying he did no wrong even though he has thousands upon thousands of dollars stashed away in refrigerators. OMGCULTUREOFCORRUPTION~!
• So the better half’s one friend has a kid who said that he was going to “cut her up with his saw.” He’s four. I like this chap.
• Man, this brought back one heck of a memory.
A 15-year-old girl crashed her SUV into Jasper High School during a driving lesson, causing $50,000 in damage, police said. Jordan M. Sander was practicing Sunday afternoon with her father, John C. Sander, in the school's parking lot.
When I was doing this “driving school” shit, I was picked up one day by the instructor and this chick from another school. As we turned out onto this one road at a three-way intersection, the chick ended up in the wrong lane with a big-rig coming right at us. For some reason, I dove to the other side of the back seat (like that would have accomplished anything) while the instructor grabbed the steering wheel and put us back on course. Years later, my one friend told me that this guy said to my friend’s class that I was the worst driver he ever instructed. Was my friend serious? I don’t know. But then again why would he make this up? (He said that the instructor's biggest peeve was that I never braked when approaching stoplights and stop signs, which is odd because I've got seniors flipping me off due to my slow driving and gradual braking.) Well, it’s been 15 years since I got my license and I’m still accident-free (there’s been a few bumps, but nothing has been reported to insurance). Fuck you, Mr. Ptchak. Actually, there was one accident, but when you’re parked at a gas station, and the Silverado in front of you doesn’t want to way two minutes for her turn to fill up and suddenly peels out in reverse and smashes into your in-law’s car, there’re really nothing you can do about that.
1 p.m.
• Scooter Libby got sentenced to 30 months.
Former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison Tuesday for lying and obstructing the CIA leak investigation.
Whatever. The whole story is stupid. Didn't follow it. Don't care. This got me thinking though –– I wonder what the big OUTRAGE will be when W. makes his end-of-term pardons? Will it be someone from Halliburton? Big Tobacco? Someone from the Weekly Standard? We only have 18 more months to wait.
• While I’m on the jailbird topic, I don’t have much to say about Paris Hilton and her hard time.
The first night in jail for Paris Hilton passed without incident, according to both The Simple Life star's attorney and a spokeperson for the facility housing Ms. Hilton. Paris Hilton checked into the Lynwood Century Regional Dentention Facility around 11:30pm on Sunday night and her first 24 hours behind bars went by without a problem, largely because Hilton is living mostly in solitary confinement for the run of her sentence. Paris Hilton will do 23 days behind bars in a small cell without a roommate.
I’ve defended Paris on a number of occasions. No, I’m not hoping for a hummer in return for my loyalty –– I just don’t hate her like how other people do. She’s rich and a ditz. She made her fortune with goofy reality shows and made her fame with dirty videos. Although I doubt she can name her Congressional Representative, I’m sure she’s keener than most people think she is. However, I’m not going to say, “OMG she should be set free.” This jail term stems from her driving under the influence, and I only thank God for her sake that nobody was hurt in her recklessness.
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