6/25: Fake Fortunes, Real Anniversaries
3 p.m.
• Exactly 10 years to the day this racist/fascist/xenophobic/sexist/right-wing/left-handed bastard was manning a booth at a local water park on behalf of a nonprofit. As he sat there, a number of voluptuous females walked by him in their skimpy bathing suits that showcased their goods. These stuck-up twats with their tan skin, c-cupped breasts and round backsides wouldn’t even give him the time of day. Eventually, one approached and wasn’t repulsed by this booth-sitter’s looks and personality. She actually thought this idiot was funny. That chick then left because her boyfriend returned from the nearby snack stand and the person I ended up marrying on June 25, 2005, showed up.
Baby, you’re the greatest. Or at least the best I could get with what little I have going.
7:30 am.
• This showed up in my work e-mail this morning. How could this NOT be legit? They even included a link to a story talking about the plane crash this German guy died in!
MR PHILIP SAWADOGOBANK OF AFRICA(BOA)
BURKINA FASO
OUAGADOUGOU - BURKINA FASO.
DEAR FRIEND
I AM A FRIEND MR PHILIP SAWADOGO AND I AM THE DIRECTOR OF THE ACCOUNTS & AUDITING DEPT. AT THE BANK OF AFRICA OUAGADOUGOU - WEST AFRICA. WITH DUE RESPECT I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON A BUSINESS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US.
AT THE BANK'S LAST ACCOUNTS/AUDITING EVALUATIONS, MY STAFFS CAME ACROSS AN OLD ACCOUNT WHICH WAS BEING MAINTAINED BY A FOREIGN CLIENT MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich, Germany WHO WE LEARNT WAS AMONG THE DECEASED PASSENGERS OF AN AIRLINE CRASH ON JULY. 2000. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
SINCE THE DECEASED WAS UNABLE TO RUN THIS ACCOUNT SINCE HIS DEATH. THE ACCOUNT HAS REMAINED DORMANT WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIS FAMILY SINCE IT WAS PUT IN A SAFE DEPOSIT ACCOUNT IN THE BANK FOR FUTURE INVESTMENT BY THE CLIENT. SINCE HIS DEMISE, NOBODY, NOT EVEN THE MENBERS OF HIS FAMILY HAVE APPLIED FOR CLAIMS OVER THIS FUND AND IT HAS BEEN IN THE SAFE DEPOSIT ACCOUNT UNTIL WE DESCOVERED THAT IT CANNOT BE CLAIMED SINCE OUR CLIENT IS A FOREIGN NATIONAL AND WE ARE SURE THAT HE HAS NO NEXT OF KIN HERE TO FILE CLAIMS OVER THE MONEY. AS THE DIRECTOR OF THE DEPT, THIS DISCOVERY WAS BROUGHT TO MY OFFICE SO AS TO DECIDE WHAT IS TO BE DONE. WITH THE FEW PERSONEL IN MY DEPT., WE DECIDED TO SEEK WAYS THROUGH WHICH TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY OUT OF THE BANK AND OUT OF THE COUNTRY TOO. THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN THE ACCOUNTS IS THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS (USD 30,000000.00).
WITH OUR POSITIONS AS STAFFS OF THE BANK, WE ARE HANDICAPPED BECAUSE WE CANNOT OPERATE FOREIGN ACCOUNTS AND CANNOT LAY BONAFIDE CLAIM OVER THIS MONEY WHILE WE WERE CONTEMPLATING ON WHAT TO DO. A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WORKS WITH THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY RECOMMENDED YOUR PERSONALITY TO ME AND ADVISED I SHOULD ASK YOU FOR HELP, TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY OUT OF THE COUNTRY. THE CLIENT IS A FOREIGN NATIONAL AND YOU WILL ONLY BE ASKED TO ACT AS HIS NEXT OF KIN AND I WILL SUPPLY YOU WITH ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATIONS AND BANK DATA TO ASSIST YOU IN BEING ABLE TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO ANY BANK OF YOUR CHOICE WHERE THIS MONEY COULD BE TRANSFERED INTO.
I AND MY PARTNERS HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE AWAY THIRTY % (30%) TO YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND TEN (10%) FOR ANY EXPENSES THAT MIGHT ARISE DURING THE TRANSACTION OF THIS TRANSFER. WE WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS ABSOLUTELY RISK FREE SINCE WE WORK IN THIS BANK WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD BE CONFIDENT IN THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION BECAUSE YOU WILL BE UPDATED WITH INFORMATION AS AT WHEN DESIRED.
WE WILL PLEASE WISH YOU KEEP THIS TRANSACTION SECRET AS WE ARE HOPING TO RETIRE WITH OUR SHARE OF THIS MONEY AT THE END OF TRANSACTION WHICH WILL BE WHEN THIS MONEY IS SAFELY IN YOUR ACCOUNT. WE WILL THEN COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR SHARING ACCORDING TO THE PREVIOUSLY AGREED PERCENTAGES. YOU MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO ADVISE US ON POSSIBILITIES OF INVESTMENT IN YOUR COUNTRY OR ELSEWHERE OF OUR CHOICE. MAY GOD HELP YOU TO HELP US TO A RESTIVE RETIREMENT. AMEN.
PLEASE FOR FURTHER INFORMATIONS AND ENQUIRIES FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME.
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.
MR PHILIP SAWADOGO
BANK OF AFRICA(BOA)
NOTE : AFTER READING THIS MAIL FORWARD ME YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER.
Is there any doubt why Africa has no money? All these people die, leave their accounts frozen and don't give the Dark Continent a chance to make this cash grow.
7:15 a.m.
• While looking at the story below, which I first read on Drudge, I saw this headline, too.
NYT MONDAY PAGE ONE: 'Murdoch has used his media empire to advance his personal and political agendas'...
Now THAT'S some funny shit right there, NYT.
• See, this is what's wrong with California. Requiring pets to be sterile? Unwanted pets cost $300 million per year? How about neutering welfare recipients, felons and illegals -- I'm sure that'll save you guys a nice chunk of change.
State Sen. Jenny Oropeza broke ranks with many Democrats on Wednesday, and voiced her opposition to a bill that would require dogs and cats to be spayed or neutered....
...As it is worded now, the bill would require most cats and dogs four months old and up to be spayed or neutered. Failure to do so could result in a $500 fine for owners.
Levine said the bill was needed to curb a huge population of unwanted pets that is costing state and local governments $300 million a year.
The bill includes several exceptions, including show animals, police dogs and guide dogs and animals that are too old or ill to be spayed or neutered.
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