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8/14: Lord Of My Manor, Not Of My Ring

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kkktookmybabyaway

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11 p.m.

 

• Let’s see: Get into work at 10:30 a.m., leave at 9:15 p.m. Why the hell do I do this? Oh, yeah. Because whenever I’m here on the weekends, I won’t be there sometime during the week. That’s why. Besides, the drive home was great. No traffic, clear night, had the NLCS on ESPN radio. Only regret was missing my football games today and I didn’t get to go through my Sunday papers/coupons/etc. Oh well, that’s what tomorrow is for.

 

But the real fun began when I got home. No, Mrs. kkk wasn’t bitching at me for being at work all day – she was already asleep. The fun came about 30 minutes later when I realized my wedding ring wasn’t on my finger. The fuck? When did this happen? Good thing the better half is asleep. Time to backtrack. Did the ring fall in the sink’s drain when I washed my hands in the bathroom? I can’t remember if I still had it on at that time. I normally take it off and put it on the spice rack when doing the dishes. Problem was it wasn’t on the rack when I cleaned the dishes. Well the cats aren’t playing with anything shiny on the floor, so that’s a plus – but did the already bat it under a couch or major appliance? Yikes. Could it have fallen outside when I was on my way inside the house? No clue. Fuck. It’s been 30 minutes and I can’t find this goddamn thing. I’ve looked everywhere I’ve been so far tonight. The car, the walkway, the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, the dining room, the bedroom. I’ve sifted through the garbage can, looked in several cabinets, peered down into the bathroom sink’s drain, and peered into a bunch of crevices. No luck. Wait a minute. What about my drawer in which I keep a bunch of useless shit, including my cell phone’s AC adapter, which I took into work with me today. When I opened the drawer I heard a “clink.” Oh thank God.

 

Now it’s time for bed.

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I went through that very same thing about a year ago. Only difference was she found out that I didn't know where in the f*** the ring was. Yeah, not good. I finally used the Sherlock Holmes maxim (or rather, the Arthur Conan Doyle maxim since he was the one who wrote it) that states:

 

"Once you have eliminated all possibilities, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

 

 

That always stuck in my mind, it's one of my favorite quotes/lines ever. I'll tell the story in my blog. And yep, believe it or not, following that maxim worked.

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Oh she always bitches at me when I take it off. I play around with it so much I'm surprised it hasn't gone down a drain or something already. Please note I'm talking about my ring and not an appendage.

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If I ever tie the knot (what does that mean, anyways?, is it a metaphor for how marriage squeezes out your life as you knew it?) I'll probably opt not to take the ring route. I've seen many lose the ring, including someone I know from my old job who lost the ring during the honeymoon activity itself.

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