10/15: Cat Scratch Fever
10 p.m.
• So whenever I’m on the computer JJ usually hops up and rolls around on the desk vying for attention or whatever he does.
Funny thing is this is the same cat that stays 10 feet away from me at all times unless I have this certain green linty blanket over myself (or if I just scraped out some earwax from my ear canal). Anyway, this evening I was scratching him on his side/belly, and I guess he didn’t take too kindly to that sort of thing so he began clawing me. Now even though this cat is rather powerful, he’s the biggest coward I’ve ever seen. When he tries to act tough in instances like this it’s a lesson in futility. You want to get hardcore, I’ll get hardcore. I began scratching his side with one hand while distracting him with my other hand, which was right in front of his face. The look of confusion he gave was priceless, and the only thing he could think of doing was batting the hand in front of him while unable to do anything about the hand that was actually violating his personal barrier. I’d say he’s a better lover than a fighter, but he’s neutered so he’s got the worst of both worlds.
Oh, and here's the aforementined "magic" blanket.
• Just to let you know, I heard my crack-whore sister-in-law wants to work as one of those tax people for H&R Block. She also wants to get this $3,000 trailer and move to this trailer park but can’t yet afford either the vehicle/home or the $200/month lot fee. She also told my mother-in-law that it’s her dream to have her boyfriend, her crack-whore daughter, the crack-whore daughter’s live-in boyfriend and have a happy holiday dinner. Did I mention the Christmas tree? Oh, and my welfare-collecting test-tube-kid-producing in-law relatives: the matriarch just told her welfare-collecting aunt (who got $10,000 worth of renovations done to her house compliments of my tax dollars and always seems to cater family events at said house) that she wants a Wii for Christmas. God poor people piss me off.
I might as well leave on a happy note: My brother-in-law and his family will have some "haunted trail" thing going on this weekend for the kids in his neighborhood, and I was recruited as one of the monsters, meaning I'll get to scare children and unlike other instances when I do so it will be perfectly acceptable.
7:45 p.m.
• So the BcS thingy came out this week and OMG some team that’s not USC, LSU or another representative from Big University is ranked second. Whatever. Look, you pro-bowl fuckwads keep saying the regular season is like one big playoff. Well, that Florida team is unbeaten. So quit yer bitchin’. They’ll lose soon enough and you fags can put some other Top 10 regular in its slot. If this team keeps on winning, then shut your piehole and revel in your REGULAR SEASON PLAYOFF~!
7 p.m.
• Time for more fun work stories. So the idiot boss turned an effective ad that my co-worker and I were working on and instead queered it up by demanding cartoony clip art instead of presentable stock photos. When I showed the better half what the idiot thought “looked good,” she burst into laughter and said, “It looks like something a 10-year-old would do.” Fittingly enough, we have been getting ZERO response on these ads. Anyway, last this most recent ad was in the hands of my capable supervisors on Wednesday, and I was to hear of a final draft by the end of the week. Friday came and went. No word. This ad was due today. I sent them all an e-mail on Sunday while in the office (just making sure I have documentation if I get questioned as to I “really was” on the job) letting them know this ad was due Monday. This morning I get an e-mail from the idiot asking me to – surprise -- print him another copy of this ad. Oh, yeah, we also found out today through an “informant” that when he becomes head honcho he plans to make my aforementioned co-worker into his own “department.” Uh, let’s not get too far, Tex. How about starting off slow, like, say, allowing him to utilize his marketing budget, which is only ¼ used because he’s not allowed to travel and bring in business. Oh, yeah. It’s been several months and we still haven’t replaced another co-worker who died because the idiot can’t find any “administrative professional” willing to work a shit job for a shit boss for $8/hour. Damn Bush economy.
Oh, yeah. My current head boss told another co-worker who's been working at this place for 20+ years that she makes more money than a publc school teacher. Yeah. If the teacher was back in 1950.
• So I just found out this cunt of a professor/advisor I had back in college just had her husband pass away. Sadly, my first thought was “Guess he couldn’t take any more and took the easy way out with cancer or heart disease.” Christ I’m such a horrible person.
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