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11/16: Fake Actors, Fake Cherries

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kkktookmybabyaway

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10 p.m.

 

Detroit? You don't say.

 

A fight over prices between two gas-station owners turned deadly Friday morning when one pulled a gun and fired four shots, killing the other, the Detroit Free Press reports.

 

When one of the men lowered his price for unleaded regular gasoline to $2.93 a gallon, the owner of the gas station across the street, where it was selling for $2.96, confronted the man.

 

A fistfight started between the men, when the owner of the gas station who lowered the prices fired a handgun, police said.

 

• Don't you know that not allowing a cherry to pop on a person's wedding night is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male? From across the Pond.

 

Women are being given controversial "virginity repair" operations on the NHS, it emerged last night.

 

Taxpayers funded 24 hymen replacement operations between 2005 and 2006, official figures revealed.

 

And increasing numbers of women are paying up to £4,000 in private clinics for the procedure apparently under pressure from future spouses or in-laws who believe they should be virgins on their wedding night...

 

...The popularity of the operation is said to be the result of social regression caused by Islamic fundamentalism

 

The trend has been condemned by critics as a sign of social regression driven by Islamic fundamentalists. Some countries have made hymen reconstruction operations illegal.

 

Dr Magdy Hend, consultant gynaecologist at the Regency Clinic, Harley Street, London, who started hymen reconstruction more than 18 years ago in the Middle East and the Gulf, said: "In some cultures they like to see that the women will bleed on the wedding night. If the wife or bride is not a virgin, it is a big shame on the family..."

 

... Virginity repair operations have become a source of controversy in France, where gynaecologists report a growing number of requests from women.

 

The procedure is supposed to be funded by the state only if the patient claims she has been raped. But some doctors agree to carry it out for cultural or cosmetic reasons.

 

Isabelle Levy, an author who studied the issue for her book Religion in the Hospital, said young Muslim girls are "modern and they have adventures like other Europeans - which never happened in the past.

 

"But on the other hand, fundamentalism is spreading and these girls are getting sent back to their countries of origin to marry. And they will be rejected if it is found out that they are not virgins."

 

8:30 p.m.

 

• So I just got back from watching "Beowolf" movie. And just how many marriages does Angelina Jolie destroy? God almighty. And for the last week or so the better half has been going batshit over this thing. "OMG it's all in CGI. OMG OMG OMG." No big deal, I thought. Bunch of special effects. Then several minutes in I notice the whole thing looks like a Pixar movie. "What is this shit?" I say.

 

"It's all CGI. I told you this."

 

"The WHOLE thing?"

 

"Yes. Don't you ever listen to anything I say?"

 

It was there. Didn't read the book/poem/whatever. Don't care.

 

4:45 p.m.

 

• So Swift Terror’s wife just popped out a kid. Here’s how the conversation between me and Mrs. kkk took place when I told her the news.

 

“Mrs. Terror just squirted out a kid.”

 

“What? They weren’t due for another few weeks. What happened?”

 

“Dunno.”

 

“What sex is it?”

 

“Dunno. Looked like a boy.”

 

“What is his name?”

 

“Dunno. But there was a name on a card/poster in one of the pictures he sent me.”

 

"What was it?"

 

"Dunno."

 

And here’s a conversation we had about the baby monitor we got the Terror household a little while back.

 

“Did Swift Terror tell you that they got the baby monitor delivered?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then how do we know if somebody didn’t steal it from their front door?”

 

“Because they live in an all-white neighborhood.”

 

“But what if it got stolen?”

 

“Well we have the receipt, so we’re covered if they bitch about us not sending them anything.”

 

I swear to Christ she was so obsessed about the Terror household getting this hippie baby monitor that I’m sure it would have been less annoying if she were the one eight months knocked up. Besides, she’s didn’t want to spend that much on Swift Terror anyway because she hates him and his wife. Did I just type that? Oh well, what’s the chance of him actually reading this anyway? Oh, here’s another difference between men and women. These are actual quotes that were said upon learning of the Terror’s newest download.

 

Her: “Well I’m glad we got them that monitor when we did because they can put it to good use.”

 

Me: “I’m glad we got the monitor to them early so that $100 we spent won’t be as big a waste as I thought it would.”

 

And as I told Terror via PM, the thought of being responsible for another human life in this world just scares the shit out of me. Hell, we lost Dessa when we first brought her home as a kitten 5 minutes into her stay with us (she was hiding behind some Genesis cartridge boxes).

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Besides, she’s didn’t want to spend that much on Swift Terror anyway because she hates him and his wife.

 

I know you joke about everything--that is a joke I hope.

 

Damn I forgot to tell you obvious things. It's a boy, name Evan, 5 lbs 9 ounces, 4 weeks early (the doctors don't know why regarding the early part.)

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