Review: WWE Monday Night RAW, from San Antonio, Texas, 12/29/03.
This RAW is famous for one thing. HHH/HBK. That's all you need to know. I was mad that the RAW from 1993 with Razor/Kid on it didn't win the PYBO, but it's ok.
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At the beginning of the show, we flashback to Orton/Foley, two weeks ago. Hey, I remember this. Things like that are what pushed me away from RAW. Foley wouldn't fight, see. You can call me a mark or whatever, but I just had it at that point. I knew they were building to something more, but I didn't have the patience.
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Now that the show itself has started, Randy Orton comes out, to Mick Foley's music. He says Foley's not just a coward, but a smart coward. Great scripting, guys. He wants to be announced as the winner of their "match," and Lillian Garcia does that. He's now the Hardcore Legend. For some unexplained reason, Booker T comes out. Complete nonsense booking. He wants to face Orton for the Intercontinental Title. Ok. However, Mark Henry attacks him. Orton then runs to the stage, and accepts Booker's challenge.
Backstage, Eric Bischoff tells Mark Henry that he's just as worried as he is. Teddy Long then says he wants to collect on his favor from Survivor Series, tonight. Bischoff says he can do it next week. And Long will, belee dat.
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The first match on the night is Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner.
- Sorry, I don't have the tolerance to write full match reviews for anything other than PPV's or matches that I deem to be of importance posted on 24/7. Besides, I cover the angles in-depth, and now that I've started writing about the current product, something has to take a hit. I said I would do full reviews of the MNW, but I can't. This fits into that category. Besides, I don't think it's a big deal. The way I do these is thorough enough that you can get the full picture without a full match description, because if any angle happens throughout, I'll write about it. It's easier to read, too.
- This was about a million times better than I thought it would be, which was a surprise given that Steiner was a useless piece of shit by this point. Given that RVD gave his best effort, this was a fun contest. No surprises though, it ends with the 5 STAR FROG SPLASH at 6:07. *3/4. Steiner's choking was tiresome, though.
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During the broadcast, seeing as it's from San Antonio, there will be HBK Moments. You know, because San Antonio is Shawn's hometown, and he's facing HHH tonight. The first moment is his title win over Sid at Royal Rumble 1997, which just so happened to occur in San Antonio.
The WWE Rewind was from 2 weeks ago, when Chris Jericho and Christian got into a scuffle. And now, they're arguing. Christian's mad that he got ditched for a girl. It'll all be ok, kid.
Now Jonathan Coachman is at WWE Headquarters, for the boardroom meeting to decide on Steve Austin's future. Vince McMahon is going to be the one to argue against Austin, and someone else will argue in favor of him.
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Before their match against two jobbers with Ric Flair as the special guest referee, Bubba Ray Dudley's in the back with D-Von, and Bubba thinks that Foley just may be a coward. Harsh.
So yeah, the Dudleys are facing two jobbers with Ric Flair as the special guest referee.
- It's a beatdown. Flair tells Bubba not to punch with a closed fist, but he does anyway. So Flair disqualifies both of them at 1:49. I thought that was funny. *. Bubba knocks down Flair, so his tag team partner Batista comes down and beats on both Dudleys. Since, you know, Batista and Flair are the World Tag Team Champions. Anyway, Flair looks so much younger than he does now. It's disturbing, cause it looks like Flair's aged 10 years in the last 4.
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And we have another HBK Moment, this time, from SummerSlam 2002. Obviously it's from HHH/HBK, which is one of my favorite matches. It has really obvious flaws, though.
Eric Bischoff is with all the referees, and he says he wants them to be tough, just like Flair.
After, Coach shows up again, and Vince says he needs to look to the future, in an explanation of why he argued against Austin. Boy, does that statement ring true even today. His whole speech says a lot about what's wrong with the company now, and back then even more so. Progress has been made since 2003.
Lastly, Terri is interviewing 3 of the Divas involved in the 6-woman tag later. Trish, Lita, and Stacy, FWIW. She talks with them until STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD drives into the picture. I think I just found a new phrase.
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It's time for the Intercontinental Championship match, between Booker T and the champion, Randy Orton.
- This was fine, but like I've said before, I don't understand the need for a chinlock in a 6 minute match. Both guys should've went all out.
- At the end of the bout, Kane comes to the ring for some reason. Booker's distracted by that, so Orton gives him an RKO, which gets him the pinfall at 5:58. So Orton retains his title, *1/2. After the match, Kane gives Booker a chokeslam. Why, exactly. On the surface, this makes no sense, but they probably had a match a few weeks later in which Booker was squashed.
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The last HBK Moment is from Survivor Series 2002. I have no problem admitting that I marked when HBK won the Elimination Chamber match.
Coach is with Linda McMahon, who argued in favor of Austin. Blah blah blah.
Chris Jericho finds Trish Stratus, and gives her a Christmas present. To be nice, I'll say that this is some of the worst acting I've ever seen. She's all sad and stuff. Leave acting to actors. Leave wrestling to the wrestlers. Why is it so hard for WWE to understand this?
Austin's in the back, waiting for the phone call. He gets a call, but it's un-important.
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Finally, we get our Happy Holidays Match. It's Trish, Stacy Keibler and Lita vs. Victoria, Molly Holly (Women's Champion) and Miss Jackie.
- Happy Holidays is basically saying that they're all wearing holiday themed stuff.
- This match is sort of a pile of shit, which is given with Jackie involved, and it ends when Trish gives Molly STRATUSFACTION, at 3:24. After the match, Victoria helps Molly up, but hits her with the title belt. That makes sense, cause Victoria is supposed to be crazy.
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Austin is back again, and he gets the phone call he was waiting for. Well, he doesn't want to be co-GM, so he leaves.
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Here we go, the match I've been waiting for. Shawn Michaels vs. HHH w/Ric Flair for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Blow-by-blow: They lock-up at the start, until HHH takes control with a hammerlock. Shawn reverses the hold, and gives HHH a headlock. HHH rolls HBK up for two, but Shawn still has the headlock applied. HHH shoots him into the ropes, where Shawn gives him a shoulderblock. Shawn runs the ropes again, but HHH gives him a back elbow. HHH goes to toss Shawn out, but Shawn SKINS THE CAT, and headscissors HHH to the floor. Shawn then punches Ric Flair, and lands on both Flair and HHH with a springboard crossbody. Both men come back in the ring, where HHH grabs onto a wristlock. Shawn reverses, and charges into him with his shoulder; afterwards, he takes HHH down to the canvas. He gives HHH an armbar, and when HHH tries to give Shawn a hiptoss, Shawn reverses it into an armdrag. HHH straddles the 2nd rope in an attempt to get Shawn to break the hold, but Shawn kicks the rope, causing HHH's nuts to feel some pain. Shawn gives HHH another armdrag, but HHH quickly gets back up, and takes Shawn to the corner. In the corner, HHH charges into Shawn, and they begin to trade blows. Shawn tosses HHH over the top rope after getting the better of the slugfest, and he follows HHH to the outside. Shawn chops him a few times, and sends him back in, where he applies a sleeper. HHH tries a back suplex, but Shawn flips over him and rolls him up for 2. HHH takes Shawn down with a headlock, but Shawn bridges out of the pinning hold to a backslide for 2. HHH rams Shawn into the turnbuckle, but misses a charge, so when Shawn charges at him, he backdrops Shawn over the top rope.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
We're back, as HHH is bringing Shawn back into the ring. He chokes Shawn with his boot, and gives Shawn a backbreaker, which gets a 2 count. Everything done in this match has been simple. And yet it's one of the best matches in the history of RAW. HHH gives Shawn two elbowdrops to the back, and punches him a bit, for a 2 count. Shawn tries to come back, but HHH tosses him out of the ring. He tosses Shawn's into the steps, and the announcers talk about how Shawn's shoulder looks to be separated. I'm no doctor, so I can't say. Shawn tries a sunset flip on the inside and gets 2, but HHH comes back with two clotheslines for a 2 count. HHH puts Shawn in an abdominal stretch, and uses leverage from Ric Flair in order to cheat. He grabbed onto Flair's hand, see. The referee stops him when he sees it, and Shawn gives HHH a hiptoss. Shawn chops away at HHH, but HHH comes back with the leaping KNEE TO FACE. That gets a 2 count, but see, HHH hurt his knee. HHH tries a backbreaker, but Shawn reverses it into a kneebreaker. Then he applies a FIGURE-FOUR leglock, which makes the crowd go apeshit. The referee is distracted by HHH, though, so Flair gouges HBK's eyes. HHH dumps Shawn to the outside, but Shawn comes back in quickly, and up to the top rope. Shawn misses with a double axhandle, and HHH tries for the PEDIGREE. Shawn reverses it into a backdrop, thankfully for him. Shawn gives HHH a shoulderblock, and falls to the canvas exhaustedly, headbutting HHH in the nuts. After a bit of rest, HHH gets up, and is given an inverted atomic drop. And another one. Shawn gives HHH the flying forearm, and he KIPS UP. I love when the crowd and the announce team go nuts for that. Shawn goes up top, for the FLYING ELBOWDROP. Shawn then TUNES UP THE BAND, but Flair gets on the ring apron. So Shawn knocks him down, while HHH hits the referee. Ha. HHH blocks SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and gives Shawn a DDT. Flair gives HHH hit title belt, and he hits Shawn in the face with it, only getting a 2 count. HHH goes for the PEDIGREE, but it's blocked by Shawn. HHH kicks Shawn into the referee, so he's down again. Bischoff comes to the ring in an attempt to revive the referee, while HHH takes a turnbuckle pad off. Shawn rams HHH into an exposed turnbuckle, and BISCHOFF makes the count, which only gets 2. HHH is bleeding, as Shawn tries a 10 punch in the corner. HHH puts him down, but Shawn gets a right for 2. HHH gives Shawn the KNEE TO FACE-BUSTER, for a 2 count. He goes up to the 2nd rope, but eats Shawn's boot on the way down. Shawn is sent upside down at the exposed turnbuckle, but comes down and gives HHH SWEET CHIN MUSIC, for 3 at 29:12, 26:13 of which was shown.
But wait, HHH is still the champion, because...Shawn's shoulders were down during the pin attempt. I nearly forgot why, for some reason. Ric Flair tries to attack Shawn, but he's given SWEET CHIN MUSIC. And Shawn punches Bischoff, for daring to say that he's not the new champion. Shawn walks backstage, and Bischoff fires him. When I first saw this (I flipped channels, came across it about a minute in, and stuck around), I thought this was a sure town-killing finish. UNTIL
STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD makes his way to the ring, says that he's back, and that Shawn is rehired. He also says there's going to be a rematch (which wasn't up to par) and he gives Bischoff a STONE COLD STUNNER, to end the show.
Match Analysis: This was easily the RAW MOTY for 2003. That Smackdown MOTY was obviously Angle/Benoit from the Rumble, which was just a little better than this. Seeing as this wasn't as good, I'll go one mark lower and call it ****1/2. If you have a problem with that, it's probably because you have a different rating scale. Matches from any of the large promotions in this country are obviously rated on a different scale then those from say, Japan. At least for me. I have no problem throwing out snowflakes if the match is deserving. This certainly was. If I worked for the WWE as a trainer, I'd have this match shown to all my trainees. It's so simple, and so well done. I suppose it would've been fine to have Shawn go over, but HHH just won the damn belt two weeks before. If only we could see something like this on TV now. Oh well.
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Rating: Great. Just because of that one match.
Best Segment: HHH/HBK.
Worst Segment: All the boardroom stuff. Who cares, you know they won't get rid of Austin.
Loudest Sound: HBK, Austin, Ric Flair as referee, and HHH. No surprises.
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I already said what I'm putting up next. BTW, the MNW will be on that, too. It'll probably be...the first Nitro, RAW and Nitro from 5/19/97, and the shorties section. I think that'll do.