Review: Random Thoughts from 2/7/08, featuring RAW, a few thoughts on ladder matches, and WWEECW.
This is the first time I haven't really been too jazzed about watching RAW. It'll probably be crap.
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From Austin, Texas, we have a contract signing, but we also have a John Cena vs. Mark Henry in an armwrestling contest later. Randy Orton wants John Cena to sign a contract so he can't back out of the match at No Way Out. Unless Orton attacks and bloodies him, I don't see the point of this. Cena gets a huge positive reaction when he makes his way out, and signs the contract. Mark Henry runs down to the ring to attack Cena, but Orton gives Cena an RKO first. Smart move.
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We get a Steve Austin DVD promo next...I would've bought this a few years ago, but since then, I've only bought two or three wrestling DVD's, those being the Jake Roberts DVD, Bret Hart DVD and HBK DVD. I wanted to buy the World Class one, but didn't.
Randy Orton's with Mark Henry, so Todd Grisham pops in for an interview bit. Orton justifies his actions, as we go to...
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Kelly Kelly and Mickie James vs. Victoria and Beth Phoenix.
- Uh, brand extension? I wouldn't say anything if it was ever attempted to justify why two non-RAW wrestlers were in the matches they're usually in. Say they were loaned to the show, or something. Mickie's almost as over as Trish was, if not more so.
- Mickie pins Victoria after a tornado DDT at 2:42. Nothing spectacular. *1/4.
William Regal is with Hornswoggle, and he thinks Hornswoggle should be proud of joining the "Kiss my Ass" club tonight. You know, because Regal's a member!
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Shawn Michaels comes out for a promo, cause he's putting everyone who's going to be in the Elimination Chamber on notice. I saw that the entrance was on the right side of the screen as opposed to the left side this week, and the same goes for their new video wall. It's all in reverse. Why? Chris Jericho interrupts HBK, because he doesn't think he'll win the Elimination Chamber. Y2J will, but Jeff Hardy believes otherwise. He has the desire to be in the main event at WrestleMania, you see. JBL REALLY doesn't think so. He says that Texas is a pile of trash, and that's why he left. Mega heel heat for that. JBL says that he'll pay Umaga to protect him in the chamber. So, obviously, UMAGA makes his way to the ring, and quickly thereafter, comes Snitsky. Snitsky says that he should be allowed into the Elimination Chamber. Umaga can't speak English, so he didn't say anything. HBK says that Snitsky only deserves dental care, and now, they all brawl. At least, until William Regal comes out. It'll be Snitsky, JBL and UMANGA vs. HBK, Y2J and Jeff Hardy in a 6 man tag, later tonight.
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Mr. Kennedy faces Super Crazy next...
- I'm surprised that Super Crazy hasn't been released yet. I'm sure he will be soon.
- Anyhow, there's very good psychology in this match. Kennedy applies a strange looking figure-four, and that gets Super Crazy to submit at 2:30. **. The microphone comes down, and we see a clip from MVP vs. Ric Flair on Smackdown last week. MVP got disqualified after not releasing a figure-four, so he attacked Flair after the match. He took Flair out, so to speak. Next week, Kennedy is going to give Flair a chance to forfeit their match at No Way Out. That won't happen.
Mike Adamle is in the crowd, hyping No Way Out. He's been good with this.
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It's Carlito and Santino Marella w/Maria vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick, now.
- I'm starting to get sick of the same guys jobbing every week. It's very annoying.
- Anyway, London chases Santino around the ring for more than half the match, and Carlito gives Kendrick a BACKSTABBER, which gets him the pinfall at 1:08. 1/2* I think that was the first time that Santino did something that was supposed to be funny and I didn't laugh. It was stupid.
Vince McMahon is with a guy who's buffing his ass. What the fuck?
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Let's get this over with quickly. Vince comes to the ring to talk about how all children should kiss their parents asses, literally. This was a great reason to flip the channel and never watch this show again, but I didn't change it. Should I have? Probably. Anyway, this segment was pretty disturbing. Hornswoggle comes out, and won't kiss Vince's ass. "My eyes!" Finlay comes to the ring, and Vince tells him that he's going to kiss his ass once Hornswoggle is done. Hornswoggle then bites Vince on the ass...isn't that worse than kissing it? Next week, it'll be Vince vs. Hornswoggle in a NO DQ match. And if Finlay interferes, HE'LL BE FIRED! I'm glad the crowd sat on their hands during that segment. It was terrible.
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Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch faced Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (World Tag Team Champions) in a non-title match after that pile of junk segment, and...
- I haven't seen the champions defend these titles once. That's pretty bad.
- I don't hate Cody, but he's way too bland. He shouldn't even be on TV, yet. He DDT's Murdoch and picks up the win at 2:14. *. Carlito and Santino come out, because they're the new #1 contenders. That's all they had to say.
The Divas did Project Runway, this show on Bravo where these wannabe fashion designers, design clothes, obviously. I've never watched it.
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Here's our main event, UMAGA, Snitsky and JBL vs. Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.
- But for Snitsky, this could be very good. HBK gets a huge pop when they start the match, because this is Texas. I've noticed that JR has been a better announcer than when I quit watching a few years back. He doesn't bungle stuff nearly as often.
- Before the commercial break, all three babyfaces plancha'd onto an opponent, in stereo. That was cool. The heat segment on Chris Jericho killed the match. I nearly fell asleep. Snitsky and Umaga just applied a hold and sat there during their respective stints in the ring. I absolutely CANNOT stand that.
- The hot tag was made to Jeff Hardy, and then everyone hit a finisher, which ended with Jeff Hardy giving Snitsky the SWANTON BOMB at 15:12. Hot finish, hot start. Awful middle. I suppose I'll be kind and give it **1/4.
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Candice Michelle returns to RAW soon, but I don't really care.
John Cena is going to face Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match, because Cena is at 100%, you know. Honestly, this kind of stuff reminds me too much of the Scott Steiner/HHH feud that SHOOK THE FOUNDATIONS of RAW in early 2003. Anyway, nobody wins the arm wrestling contest, because we have interference! Randy Orton tries to attack Cena from behind, but he bails out when Cena begins to make a comeback. Mark Henry's in trouble, F-U, end show.
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This was a bad show. Really bad. Best segment was the six man tag, which isn't to say much at all, and the worst was the ridiculousness of having an arm wrestling contest on a wrestling program. Just WRESTLE, why don't you.
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Before RAW, I watched parts 3 and 4 of the Ladder Match DVD that's been posted on 24/7. Why put it after RAW, you ask? Because I can. I just rated and noticed a few things about the matches which took place on RAW. I had a lot going on Tuesday.
The first one which took place on RAW was Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero for the Intercontinental Championship from 5/27/02.
- The part where the fan ran into the ring was cut out, which sucked. I have this match on the Eddie DVD, so nothing really stood out to me on a whole that I hadn't noticed before. It isn't the best ladder match, but it's pretty damn good. RVD wins the match after 20 minutes, btw. ****.
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The 2nd ladder match that took place on RAW was Jeff Hardy vs. the Undertaker for the Undisputed Title from 7/1/02.
- I am and I probably always will be in favor of bringing back the Undisputed Title. With two World Titles, you kinda see a lot of the same things happen on each brand within a few months of each other. That's a problem.
- This match was better than I remembered it, which isn't really to say a lot, because I was working my ass off in football and didn't really pay attention to wrestling at the time. A great job was done of building the crowd to believe that Jeff could really win the title. Taker did great, and Jeff did great. Obviously Taker won, at 14:05. ***3/4.
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The last match in these two parts which took place on RAW was Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Bubba Ray and Spike Dudley vs. RVD and Jeff Hardy vs. Kane in TLC match for the World Tag Team Titles from 10/7/02.
- Hurricane was gone, after being attacked by Ric Flair and HHH before the match.
- IMO, this match is better than all the other TLC matches. Hands down. I take back what I said about TLC 1 being the best. The flow was better. The spots were better, and you don't necessarily need tons and tons of falls off the top of ladders through tables to make a match great. This one was really, really fun. Plus, my cousin thought it was the best match he'd seen. So there. *****. Next time I see this one, I'll give it the full review it deserves. Outstanding.
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Now, we have WWECW, from Corpus Christi, TX. This show was a pile of shit, so my notes are VERY short. I was thoroughly bored.
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CM Punk came to the ring, and showed us video from last week where he attacked Chavo Guerrero during a fiesta to celebrate his championship win in the previous week. Chavo comes to the ring, and says that Punk insulted his heritage. Armando Estrada is outside of the building, and says that these two will fight each other in a Gulf of Mexico match. To win, you have to throw your opponent into the water. WOW. We have WrestleCrap occuring right before our eyes, between two wrestlers I like. This is embarassing. At No Way Out, Punk gets a title shot, so it's all good.
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Our first match is Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool vs. Victoria and Layla.
- This was not very good. At least someone who knows how to wrestle won, that being Victoria, after she gave Kelly Kelly the Widow's Peak at 2:42. 1/4*.
Kane faces Shelton Benjamin on Smackdown this week...hey, now I'm definitely going to watch the show. Seriously.
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John Morrison w/The Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer w/Collin Delaney was our first singles match on the night...
- Last week, Delaney was beaten by Morrison and the Miz in a handicap match. Tommy Dreamer went out to help after the match, so here we are. I suppose Dreamer is his protector.
- Morrison tried to do a sky twister press and nearly landed on his head. Save that for the smaller guys, me thinks. Miz became a punching bag for Dreamer later in the match, but it also allowed Morrison to hit Dreamer with a neckbreaker variation for the win, so it worked. Didn't get the time. *3/4.
Stevie Richards had a sitdown interview with Joey Styles, hopefully he'll be back soon. The brand could use him.
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Kofi Kingston faces James Curtis next...
- This wasn't very good either. Kingston won with his kick, and my time disappeared. Needless to say, I wasn't about to go find it. DUD.
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Here's the Gulf of Mexico match, between CM Punk and Chavo Guerrero.
- I thought these two should have an Extreme Rules match, but not like this. Dusty's hand is all over this show. They brawled out of the arena, and tossed each other onto cars. I liked it.
- The concept is definitely WrestleCrap, but the actual match wasn't, at all. Punk GTS'd Chavo into the Gulf at 7:12. **1/4. Good match, and end show.
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The show as a whole was a pile of shit. There were decent matches, but it was so uninteresting. I'll call it bad, best segment was the Gulf of Mexico match and the worst was Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis. Kingston has not been good thus far.
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Next column will have the Boston show from 9/6/86 (I already took notes, so I'm not backing out), original ECW, and Friday Night Smackdown. Should be up on Saturday.
The Savage and Liz Coliseum Video is going to get a review all on its own, which should be up on Sunday, I think. I have this planned out well, for once.
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