1:30 p.m.

 

• So I didn’t go into work today. Yeah, the weather was a bit on the shitty side, but I’ve driven in MUCH worse conditions. I think a bigger factor was the fact I needed a break. It’s only been a month, but there’s a SHITLOAD of work to do, and with news of Mrs. kkk’s miscarriage earlier this month, I’ve been going batshit. I generally take “mental health days” when I have nothing to do at work for a day or two, but I’m not sure how that sort of thing will play out here since the deadlines are much more varied than my previous job. Well, this wasn’t exactly going to be a “mental health” day because I was going to do some database work at home, but of course it’s 1 p.m. and I haven’t even started on it. This is NOT a surprising development for me. What did I do this morning? Watch the last hour of Mike and Mike while doing the dishes and vegging out watching ESPN’s first take show. Real productive there, genius.

 

Why am I typing this? Because while watching “First Take” I heard one of the biggest whoppers from the four-letter network in quite some time. There was an interview with some guy named Scoop Jackson dealing with the latest Air Jordan shoes or something. I never owned a pair of Jordans because I HATED the Bulls growing up. Well, the issue of kids beating up (even killing, if memory serves) others for Jordans back in the 1990s, and ol’ Scoop said that was because the shoes were hard to find – not because they cost too much.

 

…

 

 

The topper came moments later when Scoop said that Jordans were very popular among urban youth. Yeah, the same urban youth that regularly shell out $100+ for a pair of shoes.

 

Then they talked about the recent NBA trades and which teams got what they needed. Uh, New Orleans is the TOP TEAM … in the WEST?! Just goes to show how much I pay attention to the league. Well, I might as well do my in-depth reviews of the recent big NBA transactions because I know that’s what you expect from me.

 

Milwaukee recalls Ramon Sessions from Tulsa of the D-League.

 

Who?

 

San Antonio assigns Ian Mahinmi to Austin of the D-League.

 

What?

 

L.A. Lakers acquire Pau Gasol and a 2010 second-round draft pick from Memphis in exchange for Kwame Brown, Javaris Crittenton, Aaron McKie, the draft rights to Marc Gasol and first round picks in 2008 and 2010; Lakers sign D.J. Mbenga to second 10-day contract.

 

I heard about this one. The Spurs coach got pissed over this trade, so I’ll say it helps the Lakers. And what’s this I hear about them being tops in their division?

 

San Antonio signs Damon Stoudamire.

 

Uh, this is the guard that won a March Madness title in Arizona and then got busted for pot, right?

 

Portland recalls Josh McRoberts from Idaho of the D-League.

 

OK, new rule. I’m not posting transactions dealing with this “D-League” thing. I’ve actually watched a few games on NBATV this year. There’s some local team here – I have no idea what league it is, though.

 

Phoenix acquires Shaquille O'Neal from Miami in exchange for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks.

 

I’ve been pulling for Phoenix for the last few years because I’m hoping that if the Suns win it all more teams will want to copy their style of play, which is more entertaining that the 1990s Knicks/Heat crap I was exposed to. I don’t see O’Neal as a fit, but I like him so I hope I’m wrong.

 

Sacramento waives Justin Williams and Dahntay Jones.

 

Those names sound familiar. Was Justin Williams the white guy who started shit with a reporter years ago over something stupid? Seeing how there are so few players named Williams in the NBA I’m sure this has to be the one.

 

Atlanta acquires Mike Bibby from Sacramento in exchange for Shelden Williams, Lorenzen Wright, Anthony Johnson, Tyronn Lue and a 2008 second round draft pick.

 

I liked Bibby when the Kings were a good team. That’s all I got.

 

Dallas signs Keith Van Horn and trades Van Horn, Devin Harris, Trenton Hassell, Maurice Ager, DeSagana Diop, first-round draft choices in 2008 and 2010, and cash considerations to New Jersey for Jason Kidd, Malik Allen and Antoine Wright; waives Nick Fazekas.

 

I’m curious about Kidd going to Dallas. I think they might struggle a bit in the regular season, but look at what being a number-one seed did for them last year. Then again, I remember when the Rockets got Barkley and Pippen and kept saying “wait until the PLAYOFFS.” However, I think the big acquisition is Van Horn and his shooting ability, which will be just what the Nets need to make a playoff run.

 

...

 

San Antonio acquires Kurt Thomas from Seattle in exchange for Francisco Elson, Brent Barry and a 2009 first round draft pick.

 

Did the white guy win the dunk contest one year?

 

Detroit acquires Juan Dixon and cash considerations from Toronto in exchange for Primoz Brezec...

 

...Houston acquires Gerald Green from Minnesota in exchange for Kirk Snyder, a second-round pick in 2010 and cash considerations.

 

I lumped these two together because I have no idea who these players are – I just think it’s funny that “cash considerations” were mentioned.

 

Denver acquires Taurean Green from Portland in exchange for Von Wafer.

 

Even though I have no idea who these players are, either, I couldn’t group this transaction with the one above due to inconsiderate cash.

 

In a three-team trade, New Orleans acquires Bonzi Wells and Mike James from Houston, Houston acquires Bobby Jackson, Adam Haluska and a 2008 second-round pick from New Orleans as well as the rights to Sergei Lishouk from Memphis and Memphis acquires Marcus Vinicius from New Orleans and the draft rights to Malick Badiane from Houston.

 

Doesn’t matter because I’ve given up on Houston ever getting out of the first round.

 

In a three-team trade, Cleveland acquires Ben Wallace, Joe Smith and a 2009 second-round pick from Cleveland plus Wally Szczerbiak and Delonte West from Seattle; Chicago acquires Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes, Shannon Brown and Cedric Simmons from Cleveland; Seattle acquires Donyell Marshall and Ira Newble from Cleveland and Adrian Griffin from Chicago.

 

Here we go. I have to say, when I first heard of this deal I thought it was bad for Cleveland. Don’t ask me why: You know how when you hear of a player trade and you get that initial feeling of “why did they do that?” or “wow, they got that person for THAT price?” Well, my initial feeling toward Cleveland was the former. Doesn’t mean it was a bad trade – I had the same feeling as a kid when the Pens traded for Ron Francis and Ulf Samuelsson. Then again, the only player I knew was Mario and Tom Barrasso, and the only reason I knew Barasso’s name so much is that other teams would get off a barrage of shots at him and the announcers would constantly keep repeating “save by Barrasso.”

 

And there you have my NBA TRADE DEADLINE ANALYSIS not-so-SPECTACULAR. I guess I should at least take a look at the standings for the first time this season.

 

ATLANTIC: You know, for all the shit the Knicks get, there are worse teams out there.

 

CENTRAL: Holy crap is this an awful division. The third-place Bulls have a .396 winning percentage. I’m sure they’re still in the playoff hunt, though.

 

SOUTHEAST: Orland seems to be doing well. ATLANTA is the eighth seed? Oh, wait, I missed the 76ers, with a .436 winning percentage.

 

NORTHWEST: Utah’s in first. Whatever. It’s funny how Denver would be the third-best team in terms of winning percentage in the East.

 

PACIFIC: Lakers and Phoenix are tied.

 

SOUTHWEST: The hell – four teams are playing .600+ ball? Lemme see the top eight teams in terms of winning percentage in the West:

 

New Orleans (.712)

L.A. Lakers (.685)

Phoenix (.685)

San Antonia (.679)

Utah (.648)

Dallas (.648)

Houston (.630)

Denver (.623)

 

Now the East:

 

Boston (.788)

Detroit (.722)

Orlando (607)

Toronto (.558)

Cleveland (.556)

Washington (.472)

New Jersey (.444)

Philadelphia (.436)

 

Now let’s see what West teams won’t make the playoffs

 

Golden State (.611)

Portland (.537)

 

Well, at least Portland wouldn’t have home-court in the first-round if they were in the East.