From Detroit, Michigan, it's MONDAY NIGHT RAWWWWW
This show is in memory of Stan Stasiak, and I'm glad to see that wasn't cut out.
The Nation of Domination make their way down to the ring, because they have an interview with Vince McMahon. Ahmed Johnson does a majority of the talking, and he sucks at it. Just shut up already. The other Nation members say some stuff, and talk about Ahmed finally getting a shot at the Undertaker. O RLY? Crush and some white boys show up, all of them riding motorcycles. You see, Crush wants to ride 'til he dies. These guys are the Disciples of Apocalypse. They must hate blacks, because now they fight with the Nation, until officials and police come down to the ring and break it up.
Preview of the show....and after a crazy LOD promo, we have Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man taking on Ken Shamrock.
- Shamrock finally has the same music for a second week in a row. Dan Severn is on commentary, FWIW.
- Vince goes to bat for the UFC, and starts talking about how officials are trying to have it shut down...needless to say, Vince would not be defending the UFC today, or even talking about it. Shamrock ANKLE LOCK gets the tapout at 2:38. 1/2*. Honky wanted to hit Shamrock with his guitar, but Shamrock turned around before that could happen. Honky just left, and now, Severn and Shamrock are staring each other down. They shake hands, and Shamrock raises Severn's hand. Lame.
The Godwinns have something to say, and they say it before their first round tag tournament match with the Legion of Doom.
- The Godwinns toss foilage at LOD before the match...it wasn't even slop, for cryin' out loud. They're out of the farmer phase as well, as evidenced by the lack of yellow shirts.
- Apparently Ken Shamrock has been attacked by the Hart Foundation...we're supposed to hear more about that, but we never do. Hawk gives Henry a flying clothesline off the top, giving LOD the pinfall victory to advance into the semi-finals, at 3:42. It was an awkward looking finish as Henry landed on Animal's back, so I'll give it *. The Hart Foundation (sans Bret, who's at the stage) comes down to the ring and attacks LOD with chairs, leaving them down and out in the middle of the ring.
Thomas Hearns is there...YEAH, boy. Probably my favorite fighter of all-time, although Shane Mosley is my favorite of the present.
Paul Bearer and the Undertaker are in the back, and the Undertaker is tired of Paul's shit. He chokes Bearer, and chokes Vader as well once Vader enters the picture. Then Taker leaves.
Owen Hart has an interview, in which he talks about a conspiracy against him. You know, it isn't fair that a Canadian has to fight two Americans in a triple threat match on US soil.
Last in this little block of junk, we have a promo for the "Cause Stone Cold Said So" video, it's rated M, because Austin is a crazy motherfucker, you see.
Flash Funk vs. Sabu w/Bill Alfonso is our next contest...
- Funk cuts a promo prior to the bout, needless to say, this could be very good. Paul E. is on commentary, and we see some footage of Sabu's ECW matches before this. Now, here's what I've gotta know. Why is Vince showing this footage? It makes the WWF look like amateur punk stuff. I sure know I wouldn't have let that run on my TV time.
- Hell of an exhibition here, which ends as both are counted out at 4:38. Sabu sets Funk up on a table outside the ring and gives him a quebrada, but it doesn't break the table. A big splash doesn't break the table as Heyman talks about non-pre cut tables in the WWF, so now, Sabu has to go back up top. A legdrop off the top finally puts Funk through the table, and Sabu leaves through the crowd, to much applause. **1/2.
Mankind vs. the British Bulldog is our next match, in a non-title affair...
- Mankind makes his way to the ring wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt, and a sign around his neck that reads "PICK ME STEVE." Haha. You know, he wants to be Steve Austin's tag team partner. Mankind grabs a microphone next, and he says that he's dedicating this match to the absent Steve Austin, because Austin is the toughest SOB in the World Wrestling Federation.
- Yes, Mankind wrestles with the sign around his neck on. Austin's on the phone, and says he'll be back on Saturday. Not only that, but he gives Mankind some credit for wearing that shirt. After 4:10, Bulldog hits Mankind in the back with a chair. Then in the face, unprotected. Mankind gets up after a bit, and gives Bulldog the MANDIBLE CLAW, as Bulldog was focused on his posing. Ha. *1/2.
Now, we have the first triple threat match in the history of the WWE, AFAIK. It's Goldust w/Marlena vs. HHH w/Chyna vs. Owen Hart w/Brian Pillman.
- Before the match, there was some controversy surrounding Brian Pillman being allowed to come to ringside with Owen. Gorilla Monsoon said yes, and that's all that matters. We're in the Warzone, and the special guest referee for this match is the first Intercontinental Champion, Pat Patterson.
- Goldust has another false title victory, this one coming after a CURTAIN CALL at 3:15. Owen's foot was on the ropes, just like the British Bulldog's was on 6/9/97. This part was *1/4, and a bit funny, seeing as this is a new concept for the Fed. After the commercial and much banter, this match restarts.
- The 2nd version of the match is better, IMO. Chyna gives Goldust a hurricanrana, in our notable interference of the contest. Goldust inadvertently gives HHH an elbowdrop from the top, and that allows Owen to pin HHH for the three count at 3:45. ** for that portion, add them, round and add personal bias, we get *3/4.
Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart now make their way to the ring, and see, Bret and Anvil are the best tag team of all time, not LOD. Bret starts calling Thomas Hearns a thief, subsequently pissing him off.
You see, Hearns allowed Bret to use the "Hitman" nickname. Which is why this is all so funny.
Bret tells Tommy to bring his ass into the ring, and Tommy does, knocking down the Anvil after entering. Officials separate Tommy and Bret, so that's over. The crowd loved it, Hearns being from Detroit and this being Detroit.
Before the next match, Savio Vega comes into the Nation's lockerroom while they're cutting a promo, so Faarooq whips him with a belt, like an angry parent would do to their child. That next match is Scott Taylor vs. Brian Christopher w/Jerry Lawler.
- Christopher cuts a promo about the Light Heavyweight Division, so yeah, that's coming soon. Lawler insinuates that Christopher is not his son, and after a short affair, the bout ends with a Christopher legdrop off the top for 3 at 2:54. *3/4.
Paul Bearer and Vader are in the back, and they say that the situation between them and the Undertaker has been straightened out. We'll see for ourselves, as Vader and the Undertaker w/Paul Bearer are taking on Faarooq and D'Lo Brown w/Kama Mustafa in the final matchup of the first round of the tag team tournament.
- Ahmed Johnson was injured during the brawl earlier, so he's not going to participate in this match. Thank fuck he didn't come back until SummerSlam, because I shudder to think what would've happened had he stuck around. Maybe no Rock? The Disciples of the Apocalypse come to ringside early, and they brawl with everyone but Vader, who just stands in the ring doing nothing. To a commercial...
- Back from the break, Bearer and Taker are having a war of words as Vader's going at it alone. Vader goes to tag in Taker, but Taker punches him, and Faarooq pins Vader at 5:03 (shown). Wow, he jobbed to a PUNCH. 3/4*. Taker and Vader fight, Taker gives Vader a TOMBSTONE, and chases Bearer out of the ring. Bearer grabs a microphone, and next week, he'll reveal the secret, which is basically what everyone in the crowd and the viewers watching at home have wanted Bearer to do for weeks. End show.
Show was in some ways bad, but at best, decent. Best segment had to be THOMAS FUCKIN' HEARNS getting in the ring and the worst was probably LOD vs. the Godwinns. I can't stand when those two teams face each other.
MONDAY NITRO is from MACON, GEORGIA!!!!
We flashback to last week, and to start the show, Mean Gene is with Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly. His partner at Bash at the Beach is going to be a complete surprise, Page says, and not only that, but he's facing Scott Hall tonight.
Public Enemy vs. Damien and La Parka is our first match...
- The Public Enemy thing is so lame. I hate it, at the moment. There isn't a whole lot to say besides the result, other than the usual table demolition Public Enemy does.
- La Parka hits Johnny Grunge with a chair, and gets the pinfall at 2:55. Yawn. *.
Eddy Guerrero is in the aisleway for an interview with Mean Gene, and he says that when he didn't wrestle last week, it was because he wasn't cleared to wrestle. He wants Chavo Guerrero to come out, but Chavo says that he didn't exactly offer to wrestle Dean Malenko, Eddy told him to. Eddy has a shot at Syxx's Cruiserweight Title later on, and he says that he'll give that title shot to Chavo to show that he's sorry for ordering him around. Of course, Chavo takes the opportunity.
Alex Wright vs. Chris Jericho is some return match from that Nitro in Boston that WWE 24/7 skipped...
- You see, Alex Wright's new attitude is because he hates America. That explains everything.
- This is fairly good, although the crowd doesn't give a shit. They only make noise when Wright dances. After Jericho makes him tap to the LIONTAMER at 4:41, Wright isn't dancing. **.
We flash to the Great American Bash, when Vincent interfered in Harlem Heat's business. Obviously, that means we're going to see Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri take on the Steiner Brothers.
- This match is for the #1 contenders spot, in case you didn't notice. Scott has this goatee going, and it looks ugly. There's some hype for the house show at the Great Western Forum, which is being called The Show that Eric Bischoff Doesn't Want You to See. I suppose that's a good name.
- Good match, by Nitro standards. Rick Steiner bulldogs Booker T from the top, and pins him at 8:12 to win the #1 contendership. I think that's what you'd call it. **3/4.
Gene Okerlund is now with Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell, who call themselves "Vicious and Delicious." What a terrible name. They also want a title shot, and they leave, as the Steiners make their way up the ramp. The Steiners want Hall and Nash for the belts next week in Vegas, and that's all there is to it.
Hector Garza vs. Villano IV is the pissbreak match...
- Seriously. Tons of empty seats, and the match certainly isn't good enough to bring people back to those seats any quicker. Garza finishes the bout with a standing moonsault at 4:47. 1/2*.
Mean Gene invites Lex Luger and the Giant to the ring, obviously for interview time. Luger's wearing this Farmer John type shirt, I only mentioned it because it made me laugh. At Bash at the Beach, Luger's going to get revenge on Hogan for last week in Chicago. The Giant's going to put a hook in the Worm, AHHHHH!
Hour #2 begins, and the match to start that off is Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Syxx w/Scott Hall for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship.
- Scott Hall's expressions are hilarious. He's outside the ring, going through all of them, and I'm laughing at it. Eddy Guerrero's standing in the entranceway, because he's watching Chavo's back. Chavo gets in quite a bit of offense, but Scott Hall comes into the ring with the referee distracted and gives Chavo the OUTSIDER'S EDGE. Eddy does nothing, so really, he was just watching Chavo, not his back. The BUZZKILLER gets the submission and Syxx retains his belt at 6:01. **1/4 for another solid affair.
Konnan is taking on Mongo McMichael w/Debra, now.
- Jeff Jarrett is on "Horsemen Probation." Now I've heard everything. Hugh Morrus comes to the ring with a kendo stick, but he isn't allowed into the ring. BUT, that distracts Konnan, and Mongo gives him a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, giving Mongo the pinfall victory at 3:14. 1/2*.
We're ON THE ROAD in Vegas, yadayada. Those fake slot reel sounds in the background are all too typical.
Roddy Piper comes down the aisle to talk to Gene Okerlund, and Piper says that he's still not happy about Slamboree. Apparently, that pissed Ric Flair off, so here he is. Flair says that what happened at Slamboree was in their best interests, and that Piper shouldn't be questioning him. That brings Mongo and CHRIS BENOIT to the ring. Uh-oh. Both having something to say (although Benoit's spiel is edited out), and then, Piper attacks Mongo and Benoit. Now they all fight, including Ric Flair trying to beat up Piper. He can't, but the briefcase to the back fixes all that, and Benoit gives Piper the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE. Officials come to ringside to break things up, and we go to a commercial.
We're back, and it's Glacier & Ernest Miller taking on High Voltage.
- The arena lights always stay dimmed during Glacier's matches...I have no idea why I just now noticed that, or noticed it at all. Mortis and Wrath are nearby, of course.
- Miller gives Rage a flying kick off the top for the win at 2:15. Mortis and Wrath now come to ringside, but they don't attack. *.
Now we have a Hollywood Hogan and Dennis Rodman video package, for some unexplained reason.
Finally, the main event is here. Diamond Dallas Page w/Kimberly is taking on Scott Hall w/Randy Savage and Elizabeth.
- Needless to say, this one is not going to end clean. Kimberly left early, because she didn't want to be around Savage. Makes sense. What doesn't make sense is that this feud will continue in some fashion until OCTOBER.
- Savage comes in at 5:28, getting Hall DQ'd. No surprise. *1/2. Hall gives DDP a back suplex from the top and when Savage goes up for the FLYING ELBOW...
He's in the crowd, oh no! Savage drops the elbow on Page anyway, bringing Sting down to the ring. Savage and Hall plot on the outside about how they'll take this on, and they run into the ring, only to be clobbered by Sting's bat, ending the show.
Show was good. Best segment was the end of the show, and the worst was Glacier and Miller's tag match. Nitro was better this time.
Next up is a tripleheader of epic proportions. Just house shows.