OVW TV Report for June 14, 2008

-CM Punk promo for Six Flags

-The Mobilehomers are backstage comforting “Tubby” Tommy McNaler about losing his TV Title. Twinkletoes comes in to gloat, but Tommy bites Twink’s finger.

-Show Open

-Dean Hill and Kenny Bolin are the hosts

-Tonight… Southern Tag Team Champions will be in action… Scott Cardinal vs. Darryl Kelly… The Insurgency in action… Chris Cage vs. Raul Locos… Nick Dinsmore defends the OVW Title against Dirty Money… Rudy Switchblade vs. Anthony Bravado…

Joey Matthews vs. Jamin Olivencia

-Joey has APOC and Vaughn Lilas in his corner. Jamin backs away from the face off in the ring. He reaches into his tights and pulls out a glove. It is the golven that we’ve seen handing APOC and Lilas envelopes for the past few weeks. APOC and Lilas destroy Joey Matthews while Olivencia stands back and watches. Olivencia calls them off so he can wail on Matthews. He picks Matthews up and drops Joey Matthew’s with his own Double-Arm DDT. APOC counts the pin, but I don’t think that will count as a victory. Olivencia makes another payment to APOC and Lilas. The crowd is pretty quiet here, as Jamin Olivencia has been built up as the classic babyface and Joey Matthews is a total dick heel. I’m going to have a hard time seeing Matthews as a good guy.

-Six Flags promo… Not 15 seconds after the turn and beatdown, Matthews has signed for a match against Olivencia at Six Flags. Me thinks the graphics guys may be in on the double cross.

-Bravado is backstage with Twink, bitching about how his weight gets announced. Here comes Igotta Brewski. Bravado says he can’t compete with him in the ladies department. Brewski tries to bring up how he hangs out with biker chicks, but Bravado isn’t impressed. To compensate for his lack of success with the ladies, Brewski smashes a chair over his own head to show how tough he is. You can re-read that last sentence all you want, but it won’t make any sense.

Rudy Switchblade vs. Anthony Bravado

-Switchblade is the OVW Newcomer of the Year, of course. Rudy tries to run at Bravado, but Bravado catches him and throws him across the ring. Rudy uses his speed to catch Bravado in a sunset flip, but only gets 2. Rudy ducks a clothesline and drops an elbow after taking Bravado down. Rudy tries a victory roll, but couldn’t get him over. Dropkick to the face has Rudy going for the pin, but he only gets 2. Rudy takes to the skies, but gets caught with a belly-to-belly suplex. Bravado starts putting be boots to Rudy Switchblade. Big shoulderblock in the corner by Bravado. Anthony Bravado works on Rudy’s back with a back breaker stretch. Rudy is able to fight out with knees to Bravado’s head. Rudy takes control with his speed and takes control with a bulldog headlock. Rudy goes to the apron to go for an Outisde-In Senton Splash, but Bravado gets the knees up. Bravado gets him up with the Jackhammer and that’s all she wrote. ** Not a bad power vs. speed match.

-Stephanie is backstage with JD Michaels. He’s number 1, you know.

-Six Flags promo… OVW Live Events calendar

Non-Title Match

Nick Dinsmore © vs. Dirty Money

- Dean Hill says this is a non-title match, so while we get the champ on TV, he’s not defending the belt. Kenny Bolin gives Dinsmore shit about never being on TV or defending the belt. Dinsmore and Money trade wristlocks. Money gets a snapmare and showboats. Probably not a smart move. Dinsmore takes Money down with a double leg takedown and he’s already locking in the Texas Cloverleaf. Quick tap out by Dirty Money. Total DUD. Nothing but a squash for the frequently MIA champion. Can we not find a credible contender and title holder so Dinsmore can do whatever the fuck he does between appearances with affecting the company’s image? Hulk Hogan would at least do an interview on SuperStars. We go weeks without hearing shit about Dinsmore.

-Promo for Al Barone… he’s a big guy that has been down in DCW for a while. He’s going to be a stereotypical Italian mob guy.

Chris Cage vs. Raul Locos

-Cage is still awesome. Ray Ramsey is your referee. The bell hasn’t even rung yet and the crowd already has a “Chris Cage sucks” chant going. Cage starts working on Raul’s arm. Raul flips out and takes Cage down with a sweep to go for the pin. Cage kicks out at 1. Now Raul goes to work on the arm. Cage tries to flip out, but Raul hangs on. Clothesline takes Cage to the mat and Raul is going for the pin…Cage kicks out at 1 again. Raul snaps Cage down with a headlock. Cage pushes Paul into the corner and of course we do not get a clean break. The two start trading blocks and Cage takes the advantage. Snapmare by Cage followed up with a knee drop to the head only gets 2. Cage follows Raul into the corner with a clothesline. Cage want to send him the other way, but Raul reverses the Irish Whip. Raul comes into the corner, but Cage flips him onto the apron. Raul with the shoulder to the gut/sunset flip combo… but Cage hangs on to the ropes. He drops down on Raul and holds onto the top rope for leverage to get the 3 count. ** Good back and forth between the two.

-Cage jumps back in the ring and starts beating on Raul. Tank Toland runs out for the save! Dean Hill brings up the history between those two, citing that the first time they teamed up as Adrenaline, they won the OVW Southern Tag Team Titles. Could this mean a match at Six Flags? Or maybe a long term feud with some backstory and interest from me.

OVW Television Title Match

JD Michaels © vs. “Tubby” Tommy McNaler

-This is a return match from last week. McNaler jumps Michaels before the bell and starts punching Michaels in the back of the head. Michaels tries to push him off, but McNaler won’t be denied. McNaler goes back to the attack and tries for a pin, but only gets 1. “Tubby” Tommy tries to keep on the offensive, but Michaels sidesteps a running attack and McNaler goes flying to the outside. Michaels drops McNaler across the railing on the outside. Big elbows across the head of McNaler. McNaler tries to kick Michaels, but Michaels catches the foot and delivers a short clothesline. Michaels goes up top, but McNaler is on his feet. He goes to the corner and bites the fingers of JD Michaels. He then hits the ropes, causing Michaels to crotch himself on the turnbuckle. Now McNaler bits Michaels on the head. Roll up by McNaler gets 2. Big splash from McNaler only gets 2. McNaler up to the top… blown spot! I guess Michaels was supposed to catch him, but McNaler connected with the cross body. He then stayed on the ground while Michaels got up and shook it off. Dean Hill tried to play it off like McNaler landed awkwardly, but it was about as clean of a cross body as you could ask for. Michaels tries for the Ratings Spike, but McNaler starts biting him. McNaler goes for the Trailer Jack (or Hitch; they change their minds week-to-week), but JD Michaels blocks it and drops McNaler with the Ratings Spike. That good for the 3 count. * ½ . I hate The Mobilehomers. Michaels needs a credible challenger. Or maybe he could challenge for the OVW Heavyweight Title, but then Dinsmore would have to show up at Davis Arena more often.

-Six Flags promo… OVW Live Events Calendar…

The Insurgency vs. Los Rojos

-Los Rojos is some jobber team in masks with no distinguishing characteristics, so recapping this match should be fun. Ali and #1 start off. Ali works the headlock. Ali tags in Turcan Celik. He starts hammering away on #1. Another tag by the Insurgency. Ali comes in and rakes the face of #1. Quick tags by the Insurgency. Turcan levels #1 and goes for the pin, but #2 comes in to break it up. Turcan drags #1 over to his corner and makes him tag in #2. #2 gets a punch that knocks him off the apron from Turcan. Ali comes over and rolls #2 in the ring. Turcan powerslams #2 down and gets the 3 count. DUD. Terrible squash.

-We go back to the frat house with Theta Lambda Psi. They tell us how awesome they are and he we aren’t good enough to be in their fraternity.

-Six Flags promo…

-Scott Cardinal rips Dirty Money for losing to Dinsmore.

Scott Cardinal vs. Darryl Kelly

Should be another jobber-riffic match. Kelly’s mustache makes him look like somebody you wouldn’t want around children. Cardinal is pretty over. Cardinal and Kelly trade offensive maneuvers to start the match. Cardinal gets caught with a dropkick and a quick cover by Kelly only gets 1. Back up and Cardinal hammers Kelly with a forearm. Cardinal makes liberal use of the 5 count by gouging Kelly’s face. Cardinal gets caught off guard with a small package, but Kelly is only able to get 2. Cardinal gets back ot his feed and gets back in the driver’s seat. Big headbutt by Cardinal send Kelly to the mat. Cardinal mounts Kelly and wails on Kelly’s head with right hands. Kelly gets whipped hard into the corner. Cardinal picks up Kelly… Death Valley Driver. That’s enough for the 3 count. * While it was a squash, it is moderately competitive.

-Six Flags Promo… OVW Live Events Calendar.

Non-Title Match

The Men of Iron vs. The War Party

-This is the main event? The Southern Tag Team Titles getting defended against The War Party? How fucking sad is this organization? When I first saw Lightfoot a few years ago at a live event, I thought he could have been Native American. I’m pretty sure he’s black. And the other half of the War Party is obviously white. And he painted over his chest tattoo with a bear paw. Awful, awful, awful. Conway has started wearing an arm band on his left bicep for some reason.

-The War Party jumps the Men of Iron before the bell hoping to gain an advantage. Buck gets tossed and the War Party double teams Rob Conway. Outlaw holds up Conway and Lightfoot comes in with a big clothesline. And the bell finally rings. Double falling headbutts by the War Party. Conway gets tossed and the War Party focuses their attention on Pat Buck. Buck gets slingshotted in off the apron. More double teaming by the War Party and Buck gets taken down with chops. Conway is back on the apron. The War party looks to slingshot him in, but Conway blocks the attempt and he sligshots the War Party to the outside. Back inside, the Men of Iron do a do-si-do and hammer the War Party. Out come Scott Cardinal and Dirty Money to attack the Men of Iron. And here comes The Insurgency to join the fray. All 3 heel tag teams beat down the Men of Iron. No decision given. * ½

-To end the show, we go over the Six Flags card one more time. In the background, you can hear the beatdown continue. This may have been the worst show of the summer. Cage-Toland may be an interesting feud, but everything else is either pointless or complete garbage.

So here is the announced card for the Six Flags show on June 20th:

Joey Matthews vs. Jamin Olivencia

The Mobilehomers vs. Theta Lambda Psi

Serena © vs. Melody for the OVW Women’s Title

The Men of Iron © vs. Scott Cardinal & Dirty Money for the Southern Tag Team Titles

CM Punk will be in action

Punk may be a draw, but this looks to be the worst Six Flags show yet. No announced opponent for Punk and once again, no OVW Title defense.