8 a.m.

• Wow, After years of finding the 382,234,672,236,190 worst things that you can do to a Muslim male, from having poorly positioned hospital beds to having pre-marital sex, I think I finally found something it has to be in the Top 10, if not higher.

No wonder they hate Western culture.

Michael Jackson is now 'Mikaeel', name of one of the angels of Allah. The 50-year old legend wore the traditional Islamic attire as he pledged his allegiance to the Koran at a friend's home in Los Angeles. He rejected the name 'Mustafa', which means "the chosen one," the source added.

 

The Pop star, who was raised a Jehovah's Witness, showed interest in Islam after discussing the religion with a music producer and songwriter on his new album - both of whom were converts to Islam, says reports. "They began talking to him about their beliefs, and how they thought they had become better people after they converted. Michael soon began warming to the idea," a source said. "An Imam was summoned from the mosque and Michael went through the shahada, which is the Muslim declaration of belief. Jacko rejected an alternative name, Mustafa meaning "the chosen one," the source added.

Man, it wasn't an easy choice to lead off with that joke when there's also a sure-fire "convert to Catholicism" crack to be had. Oh well, I made my joke. I'm standing by it.