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1/7: A Message To Congressional Republicans

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kkktookmybabyaway

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I never thought I'd say this again, but you guys really ARE the Party of small(er) government. Of course that's not saying much.

 

President-elect Barack Hussein on Tuesday braced Americans for the unparalleled prospect of "trillion-dollar deficits for years to come," a stark assessment of the budgetary outlook that he said would force his administration to impose tighter fiscal discipline on the government.

 

I'm torn. On one hand I'm sure President Hussein could be bracing us for his New Deal/Great Society/Euro-Welfare-State, but on the other hand this could be a great strategy to make future deficits look good. "See, it could have been $1 trillion, but now it's just $700 billion." Mad props, yo. And lol on the "tighter fiscal discipline" crack.

 

9 p.m.

 

• So the better half decided to get a hobby and started reading those stupid Twilight books. Vegetarian vampires -- WTF? Since when does drinking animal blood instead of human blood constitute going vegan? Wouldn't a vampire have to drink chlorophyll or something?

 

Oh there's no way in hell I'm ending today's entry like this. ... OK, here we go.

 

Over in the draft folder there is a dinosaur draft going on. Now as I've stated before, I was all about the dinos back in the day. Why didn't I take part in this draft? Two reasons. 1) I don't post nearly as often as I once did here, which I guess is a good thing. It's not like I'm helping out in soup kitchens with this "free" time; I'm just wasting my life doing other meaningless things. How the hell did real men that built the foundation of this country do it? Manually constructing railroads, storming Normandy -- yikes. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Dino Draft.

 

My second reason is that I knew my top lizard would be taken before I had a chance to snatch him up, and I was right. I know it's petty, but there's no way I can participate in any kind of Dino function without my dawg the Triceratops. So, much like my pseudo-basketball draft, I will make my own draft. Unlike the b-ball experience, I'm not going to care if my other dinosaurs were already picked. How many rounds is this draft? Dunno. Let's just go with five.

 

Round 1: Triceratops.

 

triceratops.jpg

 

My n*gga. Two long horns plus the mini third; by far my favorite dinosaur. I'd like to say how many replicas of this guy I had but I can't. No, I'm not embarrassed by the number -- I simply can't remember them all.

 

Round 2: Styracosaurus

 

styracosaurus.jpg

 

I always liked the fancy horns jetting out from his shell. Not enough to pick him over the Triceratops, though.

 

Round 3: Monoclonius

 

Monoclonius.jpg

 

The opposite of the Styracosaurus, I think this guy would be bad-ass due to the fact he only had one horn as compared to most of his counterparts and would have a chip on his shoulder.

 

Round 4: Protoceratops

 

Protoceratops1.jpg

 

Now we're going with NO horns. Sure he'd be in trouble with large predators, but his stomping ground was in the desert. In just about every illustration I've seen him in he was always going after scrawny two-legged egg-stealers -- should I be saying "she" instead of "he" in this case?

 

Are we detecting a trend here?

 

Those were my four favorite creatures from the Ceratopsian family. I really don't have anyone for the final round. I guess I'll go with another herbivore.

 

Round 5: Ankylosaurus

 

ankylosaurus.jpg

 

As if it isn't obvious that I'm a freak, here's some more evidence. I remember the wall-length poster that Ankylosaurus image is a part of. It was a timeline of sorts showing all the prehistoric eras. Damn was that one big-ass poster.

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