3/18: News, Movie, Free Agent Signing Reviews
• Last night I caught the end of a Hannity & Colems segment where Sean was yelling at some hippie bowtie-wearing politician from Oregon. Although I normally skip past these exchanges because they are nothing more than “Why do you hate our country and not support our troops?” sound bites, this liberal putz actually said something that made me keep this channel on for longer than a few seconds. He was complaining about how it was time for U.S. troops to leave Iraqand that this country's people need to be more self-reliant. Woah, I think this is the first time I’ve heard a lib say that some person/group needs to stop being coddled and pull themselves up from their bootstraps. Now all I need to hear is how Republicans are for small government and fiscal responsibility.
• Some guy in South Carolina who recently kidnapped and raped two teen-age girls in a ready-made “dungeon” (all allegedly, of course) was finally caught. And what a surprise, he has been convicted of sexual assault before (this victim was 12 years old) and only spent nine years in jail for the crime. I guess it could have been worse; he could have been in Vermont and only needed to spend a weekend in counseling. I was watching cable news this morning and heard that the judge who issued this “harsh” sentence blamed prosecutors for not building a better case the first time he was caught raping – nice spin, asshole. I wonder if Bill O’Reilly is going to go after the red diaper doper baby judge who locked this guy up with a light the first time? I certainly hope so; it’s fun to watch these bitches get called on their bullshit judgments.
• Today was movie day for me, considering I am in the midst of battling a cold given to me a few days ago by the better half. Now laying around doing nothing is usually par for the course on a Saturday, but because I am sick I now have an excuse. The first movie I popped in was one of my favorite “spoof” movies of all time. Now many people will associate Shawn and Marlon Waynes with “Scary Movie,” but before they hit it big with that, they did a similar feature that was, in my opinion, much better. Titled, “Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood,” this 1996 gem goofed on a number of “life in the ghetto” movies. If you’re a fan of “ghetto” movies, or you thought “Scary Movie” was funny, see “Don’t Be A Menace” now.
The second part of this double feature was another comedy, “As Good As It Gets.” This is one of my favorite comedies, although it is a bit on the long side for me. However, this movie has some of my favorite movie lines, such as “People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch,” “I got JEWS at my table” and the following exchange:
“How do you write women so well?”
“I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”
• So the Dallas Cowboys are going to take a chance on T.O. – man is this going to be a fun year. Also, the Miami Dolphins gave up a second-round pick to acquire Daunte Culpepper from the Minnesota Vikings. Personally, I think it was a good move on the Dolphins part. Even though Culpepper has been inconsistent at times and suffered a season-ending injury last year, a second-round pick seems like a reasonable gamble for a quarterback that has shown to be of MVP-caliber in the past.
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