3/30: Could Quotas Be Headed In A New Direction?
• I’m not too good at giving directions, even though I try my darndest. Back when I used to work at the convenience store, I used to get plenty of people asking me where certain streets/buildings/etc. were and I’d just go “derp.” The only exception to this was on the weekends, when a local flea market would open. The reason I knew the location of this swap meet? Because it was literally only a few miles down the street from my workplace. Even though I always started out trying to be as helpful as I could to these people, it almost always ended in disaster. Despite the flea market only being a straight shot away, the handful of lost customers who asked me where this place was would ALWAYS question my directions of “just go straight through the intersection on Wildwood Road and it will appear on your left a few miles down.” One time this guy even whipped out a hand-written map and said that’s not where the flea market was located according to his directions, to which my response was, “well then follow your map and ignore the directions of someone who has lived in this area for six years and has visited this flea market on several occasions.” That response didn’t go over too well.
Flea market pilgrims aside, the reason I always try to be as helpful as I can to someone lost is because I’m, for the most part, a believer in karma and know if I’m ever in need of directions I’d want to get someone who is as good-intentioned as me when it comes to helping wayward travelers. Well, early this morning I was at work and realized I needed to get batteries for the digital camera. I headed out to the nearby grocery store, and as I was approaching the sliding doors, this black lady in some rusted-out hooptie called out to me. I approached her and she told me that she had gotten off the wrong exit off I-376 and was looking for the local Olive Garden. Now I only work in this area and don’t venture out much, so at first I told her that I couldn’t think of one around here. However, the little hamster in his wheel that powers my thought process kicked it into overdrive while this lady was explaining her predicament. Suddenly, I remembered where the Olive Garden was – I drove past there a few times while exploring the area when I first started my job. The problem was that I wasn’t sure of all the street names from where we were to where she would have had to go. I told her that I remembered where the Olive Garden was located. Because she was parked in the middle of the road and causing a backup in traffic, I said that if she would park her car I could write the directions down for her. She suddenly snapped in a ghetto fashion, “I ain’t got no time fo’ dat! I was ‘sposed to be o’er dere’ five minutes ago!” and sped off. Bitch. Oh well, I think I got a few extra points from the Karma Gods on that one.
• So the NFL powers-that-be decided that excessive touchdown celebrations will result in a 15-yard penalty. Lame. Sure many of these pre-planned dances and stunts are stupid, but are they really that bad? I actually enjoyed Chad Johnson’s antics last year, and before Terrell Owens drew the ire of ESPN for picking on Donovan McNabb, I was entertained by a number of his touchdown celebrations; I admit to being amused at that thing he did with the pom-pom’s a few years ago, not to mention that incident in Dallas where he went to midfield and defaced the 50-yard Star.
• While some creative end-zone celebrations may get a chuckle out of me, this story gets a full-fledged LOL. With all the PC/Affirmative Action bullshit that’s run rampant on universities today, it’s only poetic justice that there’s at least one college out there that is turning away more qualified female applicants in favor of less qualified male ones. The reason? Because there are less males going to Big Academia than women. That’s right, baby. Diversity is a two-way street, and if it’s really diverse it’s at least a four-way intersection. I especially loved the way this sure-fire feminazi ended her article, “I admire the brilliant successes of our daughters. To parents and the students getting thin (rejection) envelopes, I apologize for the demographic realities.” You ought to be apologizing for your institution’s practice of discrimination.
2 Comments
Recommended Comments