6/11: #88, Wedding Gift Tips
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 88: The Czech Republic
Czech’s a hard read for me. This guy has bitched about my use of “…” at the end of my posts back when I used to do this. He also has griped about my over-use of the words “hippie” and “commie.” But worst of all, he has goofed on my n*gga Paul Harvey, which, in my world, is tantamount to flushing a Koran down a toilet in front of a Muslim male. No, check that; it’s an even WORSE offense. However, he’s extremely approachable on AIM and has answered every inquiry I have asked him through this medium, from explaining what exactly a “neocon” is to what parts of the Windy City and its surrounding areas support the Cubs and which areas support the White Sox. Plus Czech goofs on Racist Dusty, so that’s another plus.
And now a word or three from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Porter:
The less said, the better.
From Carnival
This is the single biggest travesty in this countdown. He should be number 1. I can't lie, I'd suck Czech off if I had the opportunity.
From SFA Jack
Unlike many others it seems, I don’t mind Czech at all (even when he seemingly lost his mind a couple of months back). As a fellow Cubs fan, I echo many of his pained sentiments in the sports folder, which are usually accurate and entertaining. The ‘grammar nazi’ thing is kinda funny, too, and something that all message boards everywhere could use more of.
• Over in the General Chat folder Fear Havoc brought up an interesting question that I feel needs more elaboration on my behalf. Long story short: He’s friends with someone that’s getting married. He’s thinking of giving the "happy" couple $50 as a gift and wants to know if that’s enough. In my world, that’s perfectly acceptable, and the majority of posters in that thread seem to agree. However, I figured this might be a good time to give some firsthand experiences of this practice of giving, and receiving, loot at a wedding.
1) Unless you’re going to some uber-yuppie reception, giving $50 for you and your guest is perfectly acceptable. At my wedding reception the meals were about $25 per person, so you’re basically saying with a $50 gift, “Thanks for inviting me. Here, I’ll take care of my food bill because I know you are paying for plenty of other shit. Now, where’s that free bar?” At my reception, most people gave $50, which was fine with us. However, my old man’s table, which featured eight various cousins and uncles, gave us a total of $40. The most aggravating thing about this wasn’t even the money; it was the fact we had to include this table into the reception plans two days before the wedding, more than two weeks after the RSVPs were due.
2) If you’re going to get a gift, please make sure it’s something from their wedding registry. This isn’t rocket science. It’s nice to know that if our George Forman grill ever craps out on us, that we have two others just waiting to take its place. And if you’re not going to bother reading the registry before getting something, make sure you include the receipt so it can be returned. It’s nothing personal; there’s only so much storage space people have in their house/apartment and sometimes you have to be practical.
3) While I’m on the subject of registries, sometimes you’ll come across an item with a rather large purchase price. Don’t think that the bride actually expects this to be filled; it’s a pipe dream (and yes, the bride is the one who fills these registries out). The better half’s pipe dream was some new sink stand to replace the funky green colored one for the upstairs bathroom. She was under the delusion that some people from her side of the family would “chip in” and get this for us. What did we end up getting from the people she hoped would get her this gift? Four plastic glasses, a plastic pitcher, and a single towel with matching wash cloth. So close.
4) Whatever amount you give to a wedding party, expect no more than that amount back when you get hitched. After our wedding, the better half took note of what everybody gave us (well, the people who weren’t married yet) and that is what we are going to give them whenever their big days come. Shortly after our wedding, one of our guest couples got hitched and we sent them the same amount of money they sent us. Of course, when I asked what was the point of this monetary exchange, since in the end it turned into a zero-sum game, I didn’t get a coherent answer.
5) Gift cards are just as good as cash, but please make sure it is for a store the happy couple frequents. For us, our Target, Kohl’s and Best Buy gift cards were well-spent. However, the one for Linens ‘n Things took some time to be depleted, and even then the money spent on fabric could have went to buying a perfectly good DVD.
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