When I was a kid of 4-5 years of age, I remember my mom taking me to Chuck-E-Cheese. To say it was a good experience would be a big lie.
I can't believe I still remember this, but here it goes.
I remember that all of the kids were real fucking brats. I mand real brats. The kind of brats who treat all the other kids like shit, scream for God knows what reason, and basically were little worthless bastards. Also, the Animatronic Animals creeped me out as a kid. The things sang with no melody or rhythm, and even looked creepy. I don't care who you are, but if you see a robotic rat singing to you with it's friends, then you are going to be creeped out. Oh, and the games were shit. And don't get me started with the pizza. The worst pizza on Earthy is sold at Chuck-E-Cheese.
Anyways, after that experience, I thought I would never go there again. Think again.
On one of my brother's birthdays in the mid 90's, he wanted to go to Chuck-E-Cheese. I sucked it in and decided to go, thinking "hey, how could it be?" Well, pretty bad.
The pizza was still bad. The games still sucked. The kids were still brats. The worst thing though, was the 17-30 year old guys whyo would go there. These guys didn't come with their families. Oh no, they came with their friends, or usually, by themselves.
I remember playing "Primal Rage" (hell yes), and when I was done, a little kid (about at least 7 years of age) competed with a guy who was in his 20's. The guy in his 20's won, and to make matters worse for the kid, rubbed it in the little guys face.
That's right, these guys went to Chuck-E-Cheese to beat kids at video games so they could feel better about themselves.
How pathetic do you have to be to go to a place for kids 5-10 years of age, just so you can beat those at video games and gloat about it? Answer: Really pathetic. I mean spanking it to furry porn in your mother's basement in your 20's pathetic. The kind of pathetic reserved for would be child molestors with three inch dicks.
The moral of this story? If I ever get married and have kids, I will never go to Chuck-E-Cheese. Never again.
I hate that place.