Sly 0 Report post Posted July 3, 2005 "I'm here tonight to make sure everyone takes me as a serious threat in the SWF! I'm here to show you all just what I'm made of!" The furious Austin Sly screams out over the fans packed inside the arena. "I'm here because I have the confidence to say that I'm at the top of my game!" "Ha! He's dyslexic!" A fan screams from ringside, causing the crowd around him to begin to chuckle. "He don't read too good!" "I am not dyslexic!" Austin begins to stutter with frustration. "I - I - How do you know that? H - H - Who told you? And... oh no, I'm naked!" The entire crowd begins to laugh at Austin, who blushes in embarrassment. ... "And that's my dream... " our scene transitions to Austin laying on his back on a bed, arms crossed behind his head. He turns onto his side and looks out over the room towards an attractive blonde Swedish woman. "What do you think it all means?" "How long have you been having these dreams?" the woman asks, pushing up her glasses to look at Austin. "Off and on since Sean Davis dropped me on my head inside of Penn. Station, but they've been more intense and frequent since I joined up with the SWF on this world tour." "Does it have something to do with being so far away from home?" "No." Austin states, calmly. "I've been away from home my whole career. It's part of being a wrestler." "I would guess that you have some sort of deep seeded fear then... are you really dyslexic?" "No, of course not! I was a great student." "Are you self-conscious about your body or how you look?" The woman probes. "No... I mean, just look at me!" Austin chuckles, "the very idea... ha!" "... right." She coughs awkwardly. "Well, what do you think is wrong with you?" "I don't know, you're the doctor! You're supposed to tell me!" Austin begins to get angry, causing a vein to pop out on his forehead. He quickly calms himself, though. "For the last time, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm just a prostitute that you picked up earlier tonight." "I know I know... but it makes it easier to talk to you if I pretend that you're not just a whore." "Can I put my clothes back on then?" "No." Austin replies, firmly. "Well, in my opinion," she leans forward to rest her chin in her hands before continuing, "you have some sort of feeling of inadequacy either brought on by your job or by life in general. Strictly based on the dream, though, I would probably say that your job is bringing you this stress." Austin nods in approval of the dirty slut's verdict. "So... you do anal?" ... Our scene transitions again to that of Austin walking casually down a corridor, hair pulled back behind his head and jacket thrown over his shoulder. He looks delightfully... normal. As if a weight has been lifted from him. He walks up to a door and knocks. *Bam bam bam!* No one answers, so Austin simply turns the handle and walks in. As the door closes behind him, we see a plaque that reads Tom Flesher. Austin casually strolls into the darkened room and clicks on a lamp that sits atop a desk towards the middle of the office, fighting back some of the darkness that creeps in during the night. The stars and moon twinkle in the dark sky outside, but the tightly drawn shades block out most of their light. Austin pulls open a desk drawer and pulls out a pen, a pad of paper, and an envelope. He begins to write. To whomever it may concern; I, Austin Sly, have decided to end my contract with the Smarks Wrestling Federation effective immediately. This decision is entirely of my own and has nothing to do with any persons within the company, or any way that I have been treated. I have simply decided to take my career in a different direction. I have had a great time working with everyone this past year plus and wish that I could stay, but for my own health and mentality, I must part ways. I wish everyone the best. Much love, Austin Sly. P.S. - Enclosed is my final bill for the company. He folds the paper twice and then slides it into the envelope. He closes the flap and places it carefully onto Tom's desk. With a sigh of relief, Austin reaches up slowly and turns off the lamp. Click... ----------------------------------------------------------- So... that's all she wrote for Austin Sly. I guess this has been a long time coming, but I think I struggled to try and keep myself interested for long enough. I actually had intended to show lots of time, but I don't think I ever really had it in me to compete with you guys. I guess some might say that I never really had it in me to begin with, but to each their own. I really had fun trying to embrace this place and provide some sort of comedy or at least a witty remark here or there, but it's best that I just hang up my character now. I'll still be around. Best of luck to all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted July 3, 2005 I still loved the Sly promo from God knows how long ago after his first win when he has to ask the girl he woke up with who she was - simple but effective heel character. Jobber To The Stars! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel_Grace_Blue 0 Report post Posted July 4, 2005 Blort. No more Slyage. HEY MAN DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WITH THE STUFF? IT WAS COOL, HUH? YEAH, SO, POTATOES AND SUCH! Uh...shit. I was going to say more, but I suck at everything, so, meh. Good luck with future things and such, or whatever. Sly amz teh yay. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
devo 0 Report post Posted July 4, 2005 Sorry to see you're abandoning this character, I think he had a lot of potential. But damn if you didn't go out in a funny way. This promo's hilarious. Best of luck with things and such. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted July 4, 2005 Jesus, I take a few days off to move into my new place and things get turned upside down around here. Remember that time I lost that tag match because you told me two hours before deadline you couldn't write? In all seriousness, man, good luck and thanks for one funny farewell promo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sly 0 Report post Posted July 4, 2005 Remember that time I lost that tag match because you told me two hours before deadline you couldn't write? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That's how it usually turned out for me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted July 4, 2005 Remember when I jobbed the USJL Title to you? Good times. In all seriousness though, sad to see you go man. Pity you couldn't have got into your groove and showed regularly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
