the.weej

Booking surgery complete, card edited. And Zyon, not even the refs are sure what's up with the Family Friendly rules this show. So... have fun with it. -Z

Frigid: Ah, yes. If necessary, I can try and edit you out in favour of someone else - I just wanted to make use of the whole roster for this show. *EDIT*: Like a childhood dream, it's whatever you want it to be, WC. One of the last times I booked that match, the other dude's finisher ended up being the move in question. -Z

The Smartmark's Wrestling Federation presents... SWF FAMILY FRIENDLY(?) LOCKDOWN! LIVE, WEDNESDAY JANUARY 18th, FROM THE *SOLD OUT* QWEST CENTER IN OMAHA, NEBRASKA! (9pm PST, 11pm EST; check local listings) It's a Lockdown... IN LIMBO! After a disasterous last show, the future of Lockdown itself, nevermind "Family Friendly," is in peril! Sponsors are dropping the show like a bad habbit, and new ones are looking rarer than Nazi war documents. As Joe Peters feverishly attempts to secure new funding for one of his marquee television programs, the workers of the SWF soldier on... for the *children.* Are Family Friendly rules in effect? Well, sort of. Maybe. Who knows? Nobody's quite sure. OPENING PROMO: Zyon and Spike Jenkins MAIN EVENT CANADIAN DEATHMATCH INTERNATIONAL TITLE BOUT Jay Hawke© vs Zyon© ->The fascists at the top of the SWF still feel that Hawke has held onto his damn belt for too long - but, unfortunately, the last time he went out to defend it, he held onto the damn thing. Well, if at first you don't succeed... this time, all the stops have been pulled out, as Hawke faces Zyon in an SWF ORIGINAL~! stipulation. Why Zyon? 'Cause he's fucking good, that's why! Rules:Regular DQ and count-out rules are not in effect. The winner is the first one to get a combined count of 10. For example, if one man pins the other for a 4 count, then a 3 count later in the match that’s a combined 7 count. Only 3 counts and higher can contribute to the combined count; you can’t just get 5 near falls in a row to win. Zyon's cruiserweight title is not on the line. Word Limit: 6000 Send To: chirs3 SINGLES MATCH JJ Johnson vs TORU Takahara ->JJJ, that bastard, took out KOJI Kitano on the last show - even if you didn't see it, it happened, read the promo, I assure you. What does this mean for TKO!? Well, they can't defend the tag titles now. Big deal. This is different from the last 2 months how? Anyway, TORU seeks VENGEANCE here on Lockdown. Rules: Singles match. Word Limit: 5000 Send To: realitycheck TRIPLE IMPACT MATCH "The Icon" Max King vs Wildchild ->Why these two? Well, why not? Two of the best the SWF has to offer THROW DOWN in a unique matchup. Does everything need two weeks of build and a thousand word description? Nah. Rules: At the beginning of the match, Funyon will read from a card one specific move. This move can be absolutely anything. (outside of something generic - dropkick, clothesline, forearm to the face, etc) The winner of the match is whomever performs it on their opponent three times. Word Limit: 5000 Send To: Justice TAG MATCH Tim Dillon & Stryke vs Kevin Coyote & Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix ->Kevin Coyote hasn't been doing so hot since his debut. Although perhaps if he wasn't so... overzealous in his attempt to earn "respect," he may not have gotten in over his head in a handicap match against Zyon and Spike Jenkins. Well, THIS time, he gets the benefit of a partner. A long-ass time ago, Landon Maddix found himself in much the same position, striving for respect. Maddix found Todd. Kevin may not be so lucky. Can Landon pass on some of the wisdom he's accrued during his long tenure in the SWF? Probably not, but who cares? Rules: Standard tag team match. Word Limit: 4500 Send To: realitycheck SINGLES MATCH Christian Fury vs Wes Davenport ->Christian Fury, who you may remeber from Ramadomination, was last seen dressed up like a Jew, getting the shit stomped out of him by angry Muslims. I think we can expect that event to never be mentioned by Fury, ever. He faces off against Wes Davenport in, coincidentally, Wes' first match since Ramadomination. First-person perspective meets first-rate arrogance in what should be a Killer! (Though not The Killer - Wes only wishes he could be Chow Yun Fat) Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 3500 Send To: janusd SINGLES MATCH Laberinto vs The Crimson Skull ->The man... the myth... the legend... THE CRIMSON SKULL at long last returns! After a long haitus, his evilness (and his evil assistant, Heff) comes back to the SWF to continue his pursuit of vile superheroes! Rules: Singles match. Word Limit: 3500 Send To: Justice (Send shit to Justice) (Booking notes: Since there was no Raynor and no Judge to help me out, much of this card was constructed with the help of the Ferret himself, Janus. All blame for any poor booking may thusly be directed at them.)

Good show for how short is was. Of course, once again CC (re: me) has screwed up and posted it a day late, so I'll have to rush the card. And as for that card... uh... up as soon as I can finish it; may have to do some improvising for this one. -Z

We return to SWF Storm, at Albertsons it seems, as the cameraman runs to catch up to Akira after his match. Cameras are heavy, though, and Akira disappears through the glass doors out into the parking lot. Scrambling to catch up, the cameraman hobbles past the customer service counter and- "-o you know why Smarkdown was pre-empted, Bruce?" "I don't ca-" "It was because of you!" Intrigued, the cameraman inches closer to the counter, and peers into a back room. We see Bruce Blank, sitting rather nonchalantly, and Joseph Peters, who is... well, he's just pissed. "After Lockdown aired, the sponsors went nuts, and their lawyers pulled some... crazy lawyer shit, I don't know, and nearly stopped Smarkdown from being aired at all! I don't know how, I barely understand half of what they say - the point is, we're lucky we managed to air it only two days late, which threw off our entire schedule!" "Is there a point to this, Joe?" "Yes there's a point - you're suspended. Indefinitely." "... Oh no, no more Family Friendly bullshit! Whatever shall I do?!" Bruce puts a hand up to his forehead in fake melodrama, and pretends to collapse from his chair. "Not just Lockdown, Bruce - you're suspended from all SWF programming." Now Bruce really does fall out of his chair. "You've got to be kidding me-" Peters gets right into Bruce's face. "I have never been more serious in my life, Bruce. You're lucky I don't fire you outright, which may end up happening anyway. You've endangered Lockdown and Smarkdown, cost this company God knows how much money, and generally been a pain in my ass since you got here. The sponsors-" "FUCK the sponsors, Peters! Dump them and find some new ones, because I'm sick of taking all this crap from you when they're the ones you're pissed at!" "Dump the sponsors and find some new ones? Gee, I didn't realize it was that simple! Hang on, I'll go make some calls, and we'll have new sponsors in time for Lockdown - give me a break, Bruce! You don't know anything about this job, or how long it takes to get things done! I have been looking into getting new sponsors, but these things take time! And until we get it done, you're off the air!" "Like hell I am! I've got my Best of Five to think about-" "Not anymore, you don't." Bruce has had enough. We know this, because he gets up and says "I've had enough of this. Of your spineless-" "I'm done with you, Bruce." And with that, Peters turns to leave, then sees the cameraman peeking at them from around the corner. "God dam-" FADE OUT.

“And where the hell were you?” Card snarls, pacing up and down the locker room. El Luchador Magnifico, hands resting the World Title that sits across his knees, raises an eyebrow. “I got away, of course,” he shrugs, “I wasn’t going to hang around with Johnson waving that chair about.” “You got away,” Card repeats, “and Johnson took out KOJI! He’s injured, Magnifico; he probably won’t be able to wrestle for a couple of months at least, and he certainly can’t guard you! The two of you could have taken Johnson out, but no, you had to save your own skin!” “Now hang on a second, gringo,” Magnifico replies heatedly, rising to his feet, “I hired you and your ‘boys’ as guards! If you want to leave me unprotected by going down to the ring with him,” here he waves a hand at the brooding TORU Takahara, “then you deal with the consequences! Johnson would not have attacked if you had all been with me!” “So TKO are supposed to suspend all of their matches simply to babysit you?” Card asks incredulously, “that was not part of the deal! And besides,” he continues, “we’ve got… oh shit!” Card turns and kicks a bag, hard. Coming as the kick does from a Muay Thai expert, the bag doesn’t stop until it hits the wall. Hard. “Problem?” Magnifico asks. Card glares at him. “Yeah, I’d say there’s a problem. TKO are due to defend their Tag Titles against Landon Maddix and Max King sometime before Clusterfuck. There’s no way KOJI will be fit in time, which means they’re going to lose the belts on a technicality. To Landon!” he growls, and looks around for something else to kick. “So find a replacement partner,” ELM says in a bored tone of voice. “Are you offering?” “No.” “Then shut up,” Card snaps, before turning to TORU and speaking quickly in Japanese. The big man grunts what seems to be an affirmative and settles down on a bench, crosses his arms and fixes Magnifico with a steady gaze. Card heads for the door until Magnifico leaps up and grabs his arm. “Where are you going?” he demands, “you stay here!” “I’m going to ring Natasha at the hospital,” Card snaps, snatching his arm away from Magnifico’s grip and then pointing at TORU. “He’ll look after you… as long as you don’t leave this room. If you do, you’re on your own. Oh, and just remember,” Card fires over his shoulder as he steps through the door, “if Johnson hadn’t got lucky before Christmas, you’d be facing TORU in a fortnight.” Technical Perfection slams the door behind him, leaving the World Heavyweight Champion alone with the Tag Team Champion. Magnifico snorts in disgust and sits down, but can’t help glancing over at TORU. The big man is still staring at him. “What?” TORU doesn’t reply, maybe because he can’t formulate a sentence in English, maybe because he doesn’t want to. But he doesn’t look away. Magnifico tries staring back, but finds the Japanese Hammer’s unflinching gaze a little disconcerting, as indeed was Chris Card’s last comment. Magnifico has been in the ring with TORU twice; once when TKO teamed up with Todd Cortez for a six-man tag and beat Magnifico, Landon Maddix and, interestingly enough, JJ Johnson; and once just before Christmas in a Fatal Four-Way where, Magnifico remembers with a flash of anger, TORU took advantage of Stryke’s Backdrop Driver to hit the Shooting Star Press - a move that Magnifico himself made famous in the SWF! - and pin the World Champion. TORU still isn’t looking away, and something about his eyes makes Magnifico think that the big man is remembering that moment as well. What’s more, he gets the impression TORU thinks that if it hadn’t been for JJ Johnson, in two week’s time history should - and would - be repeating itself. Magnifico shivers, and pulls out a magazine to read. It looks like he might be here for a while.

”Fans you were promised a Supermarket Death match between Bruce Blank and Akira Kaibatsu as part of their “Best of 5 Ultraviolent matches” series – but we’ve got to be honest, it’s not live, we had a crew out to tape it earlier this week. But while it was edited we got something from the producers of the TV show COPS” Says Pete as Storm returns from a commercial break. “I’ve seen this footage fans and let me tell you – it’s awesome” King adds with a big smile. “The SWF. . . erm proudly. . . presents Cops: Supermarket Death match.” ”Bad boys bad boys Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you” C*O*P*S* Bad boys, bad boys Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they come for you” Voice over ”COPS: a Langley / Barbour production” The familiar face of Sherif Burnette that we’ve seen on all those “World’s Worst” shows and anything else police related appears on the screen standing in front of a squad car with the lights flashing looking his usual serious self “What you’re about to see is real” he starts out pointing to the viewers at home to show just how sincere he is “it’s taped on location with a camera crew that takes us right into the action. But tonight we also have shocking footage from a local supermarket security cameras when events spiral out of control, when people don’t know when to stop it’s a job for the boys in blue” And with that we fade to a camera taping out of the front window of a patrolling cop car somewhere downtown Ames. ”Waltman Street 10 PM” “Officers Styles and Hart were on their nightly patrol, a quiet night so far” the voice over tells us as we get establishing shots of officers Styles and Hart “But all that is about to change” *KRSSSSH!!* Unit 42! Unit 42! we have a 24-7 in progress at Albertson’s Grocery Store on the corner of Oscar and Meyer please respond *KRSSSSH!* Officer Styles quickly grabs the microphone to respond to the “Brawl in progress” call *KRSSSH!* This is Unit 42, we are less than 2 minutes away proceeding to the location right away. As we watch the car speed through the streets the voice of Officer Hart is heard over the sound of the sirens. “We didn’t know what to expect from a 24-7 really, I mean had it been a 7-11 we would have relaxed a bit but a 24-7 is just so unpredictable. We were fearing the worst – crack heads, drunk kids, Salvation Army… we just didn’t know. Of course when we got there all of our worst fears were put to shame.” The car pulls into the parking lot at Albertson’s and the camera quickly zooms in on a beat up Ford pick-up truck that’s crashed through the front window of the supermarket. “Holy S*BEEP*” Officer Hart says as they both quickly exit the car with their guns drawn “What the hell happened here?” Once again the voice of officer Hart is heard “When I saw that truck I knew it was serious, of course had I known exactly what had gone on already I would have been even more worried.” The following footage is from the in store security cameras capturing the events before Officer Hart and Styles’s arrival “When a hooded man enters a supermarket it usually leads to instant chaos but as you will see tonight, don’t take anything for granted.” One of the internal security cameras capture Akira Kaibatsu, wearing a mask, fists taped but otherwise in street clothes, entering the supermarket where he looks around. Then much to his surprise he’s approached by a couple of teenagers who want his autograph. At first Akira tries to brush them off, not that he’s rude but he’s on the look out for Bruce, but then finally he signs both pieces of paper. “It certainly doesn’t look like he’s here to rob the place now does it? But just wait and see what happens only moments later” Akira signs a few more autographs but he’s stopped mid “Kaibatsu” as he hears an engine roaring and see bright headlights through the window of the store. Seconds later Akira pushes a kid out of the way and leaps to safety himself as *KREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHH!!* Bruce’s beat up pick-up truck comes blasting through the window sending a rain of tiny glass shards everywhere in the store. The customers all stare at the truck in a state of shock as the beefy Bruce Blank opens the driver’s side door and steps out with a “Woops” expression on his face. “This is a prime example of why you shouldn’t drink and drive, but just as the customers thought that it was the end of the trouble this happens” the voice over explains Bruce raises his big cowboy booted foot and kicks Akira square in the jaw as the masked superstar looks up at his opponent. 3 seconds later Bruce has Akira by the shirt and then mask as he throws him face first into the cash register *BAM!!* And then quickly follows up with another cash register / masked face collision *BAM!!* The impact of the second blow actually shifts the previously bolted down cash register as Akira slowly sinks to his knees holding his jaw in agony. But the agony only increases as Bruce casually reaches over and pushes a button on the cash register so that the drawer shoots out and hits Akira in the nose *CRACK!!* “Now watch as the attacker takes the opportunity to grab a handful of cash when no one else is watching” Akira flops over on his back like a dead fish with blood running down his face from his broken nose. The passenger side door opens and out steps a very intimidated looking referee that Bruce apparently brought with him to the store. “One” Not really looking for a 10 count just yet Bruce quickly breaks the count as he grabs Akira by the ankle and casually drags him across the floor towards the produce section like he didn’t way anything at all. When they pass a table stacked with bananas, kiwis, coconuts and other fruits Akira reaches out and grabs hold of one of the legs to stop Bruce. The Ultraviolent champion does stop for a second, but then he pulls on Akira’s leg with enough force to snap the table leg in Akira’s hand. “It seems like these two have a personal grudge with each other, it’s just a shame that unsuspecting shoppers have to be subjected to this” the voice over points out as we see shots of people hauling ass out of the store. With the table broken all the fruit spills out over the floor which Akira immediately grabs for, desperately trying to get a weapon to fight Bruce off with. He wraps his hand around something and quickly tosses it at Bruce Blank *SPLOTCH!!* Of course the banana didn’t really do much damage as it bounces off Bruce’s forehead. “Is that the best you got??” Bruce yells at Akira *BONK!!* A coconut bouncing off Bruce’s skull proves that it was far from the best Akira had *BONK!*CRACK!* A second coconut breaking over Bruce’s skull hammers the point home, hammers it so far home that Bruce staggers backwards for a step or two. The moment’s breather is all Akira needs as he leaps back to his feet, scans the area for a weapon and then picks up a huge watermelon from the middle of a display. Akira raises the watermelon over his head, runs forward and then quickly brings the green monster melon down before Bruce can put up his hands to block it “That was Albertson’s prize watermelon, it had won the blue ribbon at the state fair, but these two guys are bound and determined to turn it into jam” The prize winning melon shatters in several colorful pieces as the force and the weight snaps Bruce’s head to the side knocking the big man down onto the cold tile floor. Akira knows that he can’t let Bruce breathe for a moment or he may very well end up on the losing end, so he quickly grabs another coconut and drives it into Bruce’s head in a very unique version of a fist drop, replaying the infamous Piper / Superfly incident so many years ago. “When the masked man was attacked we assumed he was just an innocent victim but the determination he fights back with leads us to think that this wasn’t an unmotivated attack – it’s clear that these two guys have a personal problem” Without thinking about his actions Akira quickly climbs up the shelves on the end wall ignoring the fact that he was knocking half the contents of the shelves off in the process. Once he’s up on the top shelf he takes a moment to get his balance as he waits for Bruce to get back to his feet. “In all my years in law enforcement I’ve never seen a fight like this, once we saw the tapes we began to suspect that there was more to this than meets the eye” Sheriff Burnette explains as we watch Bruce slowly get back to his feet. Akira leaps off the shelf going for a “top shelf” huracanrana on the much bigger man locking his leads around the head of the ultraviolent champion. The second Bruce feels Akira’s legs lock he reacts instinctively by lifting and shoving Akira’s body forward thus blocking the huracanrana and also tossing Akira through the air straight into the donut display chest first. *KREAAAAAAAAASH!!* “That footage made me sick to my stomach, such callous disregard for donuts!” Akira lays across the broken shelves with custard and jam stains all over his body from where he took out the baked goods. After a moment or two he finally opens his eyes, wondering where Bruce went – but the second he opens his eyes he hears this rolling, screeching, shaking sound that only a crappy shopping cart can make when driven at high speed. Right at him *KREEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSH!!* The metal frame of the shopping cart is driven straight into Akira’s abdomen with such force that it knocks the Japanese superstar even deeper into the donut stand. Bruce can’t help but smile as he looks at the carnage, then he grabs an unsmooshed donut and stuffs all of it in his mouth as he admires his handy work. After eating the donut Bruce grabs the mangled cart and picks it up, he actually raises the heavy metal shopping cart of his head and then swings it towards where Akira is *SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHH* “Unfortunately the perpetrator hit the security camera in this aisle so we have no actual footage of what happens in the next couple of minutes, just what the camera in the next aisle picks up.” We switch to a shot of the next aisle, cereals and other breakfast products – first it looks like it’s a still photo, but then we see one side of the aisle shake, like someone was thrown against the other side of it. Then it shakes again, this time like a much bigger person was thrown against it as the force knocks a lot of boxes of cereal off the shelves. Then for a moment or two nothing changes, that is until we see a mangled shopping cart drive by the end of the aisle and then. *BLAM!!* Someone obviously hit the shelving unit once more cause this time it topples over and crashes into view of the camera in the next aisle and we see Bruce Blank in the rubble – since we saw him last he’s been cut open over the right eye and he’s cradling his left fist like he broke something. “We’re not sure what went on in the couple of minutes they were out of the security camera’s view but it wasn’t pretty” Akira looks quite ghastly with the broken nose bleeding all over his mouth and chin but he keeps on attacking Bruce with everything he can get his hands on, each time trying to hit Bruce in the head or around the neck. With Bruce on his knees Akira realizes that he can capitalize on the vulnerable state and perhaps even win the match so he quickly races over to the freezer units at the end of the aisle and grabs a 15 pound frozen turkey and then clobbers Bruce over the back of the head with the frozen foul. After a sickening thud Bruce collapses on the floor seemingly out cold. Akira motions for the referee to start the count and the scared, timid zebra comes out from behind the counter where he was hiding and begins to count Bruce down “ONE!!” “TWO!!” Bruce’s arm twitches as he tries to get it in the right position “THREE!!” “FOUR!!” The Ultraviolent champion is able to roll over on his back as Akira impatiently paces back and forth in the background keeping a close eye on his opponent. “FIVE!!” “SIX!!” With a lot of effort Bruce manages to sit up, giving the camera a clear view of the damage that’s been done to his so far, the blood splatter on his shirt tells the tale of a man that’s lost a lot of blood and none of it by his own free will. “SEVEN!!” Akira can feel victory slipping through his fingers as Bruce is about to go from sitting up to standing up. Now normally he would stay back but his hatred for Bruce and his desire to win this match as quickly as possible clouds Akira’s judgment as he races towards Bruce with visions of a Shinning Wizard in his head. Akira steps on Bruce’s right thigh Draws his leg up to connect with the side of Bruce’s head And *CRACK!!* Through dumb luck or intelligent forethought Bruce ducks his head to the side at the last moment and Akira’s shin ends up connecting with the steel of the shelf right behind Bruce. With Akira in agony Bruce takes a moment to catch is breath before he even attempts to get back on his feet while hanging on to the shelves for balance. After getting back to his feet and shaking some of the pain in his left arm Bruce turns his attention towards Akira, who’s still on the ground “I cannot stress how dangerous this is, you should never attempt anything like this in your local supermarket… or backyard” Bruce stomps Akira right in the back of the head and then quickly drapes Akira’s leg over the side of a shelf and quickly kicks Akira hard on the already hurt shin. It’s very obvious that Akira is in a lot of pain as he tries his best to block his leg from more damage but Bruce’s onslaught is relentless now that he smells victory. Figuring that Akira’s shin may be broken just isn’t enough of an advantage for him he quickly grabs a bag of flour off a cooking supply shelf and dumps the entire bag on Akira turning him into a white ghost with flour everywhere “If you are wondering why the cops haven’t shown up yet then it’s because the store manager is still in the back hiding somewhere and he hasn’t pushed the alarm button yet, incredibly enough this fight had attracted a crowd of onlookers not unlike a car crash.” With Akira temporarily blinded Bruce is free to do as he pleases with his helpless opponent. After rubbing his hands in anticipation Bruce turns around heads back to the freezer units at the end of the aisles. After rummaging around in the freezer section for a moment Bruce pulls out a couple of grill skewers complete with frozen beef and green peppers and what not. Down the aisle Akira is trying to feel his way around by staying near the shelves as he tries to sneak away and hopefully recover, but unfortunately for the Divine Wind he’s leaving a trail of flour on the floor and Bruce can easily track him down. “These two men have been fighting through the grocery store for a good 10-15 minutes but it’s not until now that the shop owner has had the courage to climb out of hiding and push the alarm bell. The police should be on the scene within 5 minutes or so” The grainy security camera footage goes blurry for a moment as Bruce launches himself at Akira with the pointy ends of the skewers aimed right at the defenseless cruiserweight’s forehead. Bruce stabs at Akira’s forehead a few more times drawing a lot of blood that looks even more freaky on the flour white mask and skin of Akira Kaibatsu. Bruce raises the skewers again, hoping to do more damage, but his hand stops mid air as Bruce’s facial expression turns from anger to extreme pain. “This guy just lucked out or he could have been permanently blinded” Bruce freezes with his hand raised in the air, then he slowly drops the skewers and looks down to see a pair of barbeque tongs squeezing his testicles. Apparently Akira has acted in desperation and just grabbed the first thing he got his hand on, which was the tongs and then THEY had grabbed the first thing they wrapped their metal grips around – Bruce’s testicles. Not a sound escapes Bruce’s mouth as Akira keeps the pressure up but the look on Bruce’s face tells everything that he’s in a world of pain. After a moment Akira releases his grip, but then as Bruce draws a breath of relief Akira squeezes once more inflicting even more pain “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRHHH!!!” Bruce’s scream of agony is the only sound heard in the entire supermarket. Akira frantically tries to wipe the flour and blood out of his eyes and face in general while he tries to maintain a tight grip on Bruce’s nuts – this way he knows exactly where he has Bruce at all times. After finally getting the flour and blood out of his eyes by wiping his face with slices of white bread Akira releases the grip on the tongs and thus Bruce’s testicles. But Bruce’s reprieve is short lived as he’s knocked back against the shelves with a roaring elbow from the still limping Akira followed by a couple of quick chops to Bruce’s chest *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” “I’ve never seen anything like this in my entire life” Sheriff Burnette says as the fans gathered around the two fighters “WOOO” like Ric Flair. Akira suddenly realizes what aisle he’s in as he sees all the cleaning supplies and cleaning aids lined up. The Divine Wind quickly grabs a mop and twirls it like the mop was an ancient martial arts’ weapon and he was the ultimate master of it. He twirls right, then drives the mop head into Bruce’s left side, then he swings around and drives the stubby end of the mop right into Bruce’s solar plexus with enough force to snap the handle. “FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!!” The hardcore fans that have followed the action around the grocery store are urging Akira to do as much damage to Bruce as he possibly can, they want to see blood… and although they already have seen blood tonight it’s just not enough. Proving that he’s just as adept with two shorter sticks as he is with one long one Akira lets the blows rain down over Bruce’s arms, neck and head as Bruce tries desperately to block the attack to no avail. “If you listen closely you can hear the siren of the approaching officers Styles and Hart, they are pulling into the parking lot as we speak” Bruce desperately needs something to protect himself with and he reaches for the first and closest thing he can find, which is a spraycan of air freshener. Bruce quickly points his lavender scented weapon at Akira and pushes the button. The rush of fresh smelling but blinding mist shoots from the nozzle but totally misses Akira as the Divine Wind demonstrates his speed by ducking under it and then knocking the can from Bruce’s hand. The shot switches from the internal security cameras to the crew following Officers Styles and Hart as they approach the hole in the window that Bruce’s pick-up truck made “Holy S*BEEP*” Officer Hart says “What the hell happened here?” Both officers quickly pick up the sound of a fight going on somewhere inside the grocery store and enter with their guns drawn. The first thing they see is the busted and blood covered cash register and the carnage that Akira and Bruce caused in the produce department. “I think we may need a SWAT team” Officer Styles says nervously as he stares at the streaks of blood on the ground “Not yet, this may just be two dope heads on a bad trip” Officer Hart replies as they carefully follow the trail of destruction up the bread aisle, making sure they cover each others backs “I don’t like this… not one bit” the deadly serious Officer Hart says as they see a footprint in the blood. As they turn the corner Officer Styles stops dead in his tracks as he sees the total destruction of the donut display, the bloody handprint on the boxes and the dozens and dozens of smooshed donuts. “No” he whispers as he looks at it all “The horror… the humanity!!” officer Styles whispers as he stands there and stares in disbelief “Pull yourself together man!” officer Hart admonishes him trying to shake him out of his donut shock. Office Hart looks at the cereal aisle where several sections of shelves has been knocked down and hundreds of boxes are scattered all over the floor. Then he notices the area where Bruce dumped the flour, the footprints in the flour tells a clear tale of tens of people walking through it following close behind the two combatants. “Come on they’re close” *CRASH!!* “What was that??” Officer Styles asks “If I didn’t know any better I’d say it was someone being thrown into a mirror… but that can’t be right” Officer Hart replies as they get closer to the fight. Officers Hart and Styles catch up with the crowd that’s cheering Akira Kaibatsu on and quickly make their way through it to see the strange sight of a masked man from Japan covered in flour and blood holding a redneck in a Dragon Sleeper “What in the world?” Officer Hart asks no one in particular “FREEZE POLICE!!” Officer Styles shouts as he points his gun at Akira and Bruce. Akira ignores the instructions to “freeze” as he begins to lift Bruce up in the air, he won the first round with the Kaibatsu drop, he’s not going to let the boys in blue keep him from doing it again, no way, no how. He actually manages to raise Bruce’s massive body into the air and flip it over his shoulder, but as Bruce comes down he stomps on Akira’s damaged leg to blocks Akira from finishing the move. “FREEZE POLICE!!” Officer Styles yells again. Bruce just stares at the two police officers in surprise then he says “No habla Englese!!” and then drives the steel covered tip of his boot right into Akira’s already damaged shin to cause even more damage. Then he picks up the air-freshener spray that Akira knocked out of his hand earlier, pulls out his trusted zippo from his pocket and lights it “NOT ANOTHER STEP!!” Office Styles nervously shouts out as Bruce has his back to the officers. Bruce just smirks, holds up the lighter and then… *SSSSS*FWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHH* A stream of fire shoots out from the lighter and completely engulfs Akira’s upper body for a second. Once the flames die down we see Akira on the ground holding his face as he writhes in agony. Bruce motions for the referee to start counting and then he turns towards the police officers with a big fake smile “ONE!!” “HANDS UP MISTER” Officer Hart yells “TWO!!” Bruce casually raises his arms as he keeps smiling and walking towards the police officers, obviously trying to distract them while the referee counts Akira down. “THREE!!” “What seems to be the trouble officers” Bruce asks with a straight face “FOUR!!” “Trouble?? TROUBLE?? You are under arrest for assault and battery, maybe more” Officer Hart explains “FIVE!!” “And for grievous harm to donuts!” Officer Styles adds as he pulls out a pair of handcuffs “SIX!” Bruce looks at Akira who’s not in any shape to get up after being burnt, his mask protected him from lasting damage but right now he’s in agony. “SEVEN!!” “I just defended myself! I’m innocent officers” Bruce says blatantly bullshitting the cops “EIGHT!!” “We saw what you did, ON YOUR KNEES!!” Office Hart yells as he raises his gun once more “NINE!!” The two officers approach Bruce but the Ultraviolent champion is afraid that they may end up breaking the count so he lunges forward to draw their attention away from Akira and towards himself. “You are under arrest!!” Officer Styles says as he leaps on Bruce’s back trying to bring the big man down “TEN!!” Bruce almost doesn’t notice the 10 count as officers Styles and Hart are trying to tackle him to the ground but he does hear it and thus stops trying to defend himself Only too late *FFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH MY EYES!!” Bruce screams as Officer Styles sprays him in the eyes with mace. The two officers quickly get Bruce to the ground and manage to handcuff him. Officer Hart radios for assistance as Officer Styles reads Bruce his rights “This if officer Hart, requesting a couple of ambulances on location at Albertson’s Grocery Store – we’ve got two people in need of serious medical attention. We also need someone to analyze a white powdery substance found at the crime scene” Even though he’s cuffed and slammed against the ground Bruce is still struggling against the officers and yells all sorts of obscenities at them as the end credits roll across the screen. “Get your *BEEP* hands of me you sons of *BEEP* I’ll *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*” After the clip ends we return to Longdogger Pete and the Suicide King at ringside, Pete looks a bit shocked while King is laughing at the whole thing. “Awesome! Just awesome – Bruce evens the score at 1 to 1 AND he becomes a cross program celebrity, he could end up on CNN after that perforrmance.” King says as he applauds Bruce’s “Performance” “I should add that all charges against both Akira and Bruce were dropped the next day when Joseph Peters reluctantly got in touch with the police department and cleared everything up” Pete adds. “Peters wants to be sure we get to see match 3 at Lockdown, so far this has been a bloody brutal affair – so I totally approve.” King says with a smile and then goes on “I don’t think Akira’s paycheck quite covered ALL the damage though, maybe the Divine Wind will have to take a second job to pay for the damages” “Yeah he could be our color commentator King” Pete says with a wry smile “Oh you son of a bi…” Fade out

The live feed comes back in to show a chaotic scene with SWF personnel, a couple of EMTs and several interested onlookers, both from the arena staff and a few random nobodies, relatives and ring rats. The camera crew tries to squeeze through to get a focus on the man lying on the floor of a backstage corridor near some packing crates, but before they can get a good look a shout comes from off screen. “Let me through! Let me through, dammit! I’m his manager!” Chris Card barges through the crowd with little concern for the onlookers, then kneels down beside the man on the floor. The camera manages to slip into Technical Perfection’s wake and finally get a view of the downed wrestler; it is indeed KOJI Kitano, long black hair in disarray, who is on the floor and clasping his left arm to his body with an expression of anguish on his face. “What happened?” Card barks, but the EMT just shakes his head. “We’re not sure,” he replies, “he keeps saying-” “I wasn’t asking you,” Technical Perfection replies with withering scorn, then returns his attention to KOJI, who responds with a flood of Japanese. The words may be unintelligible to most viewers but the general gist comes through; several words that sound like curses, and one name. ‘Johnson’. “Well?” another voice asks, and Card looks up to see ‘Justice’ William Hearford standing nearby. Card straightens and faces down the former Tag Team Champion with an aggressive sneer. “Your Number One Contender, JJ Johnson, tried to attack El Luchador Magnifico whilst TORU, Natasha and myself were at the ring,” Card snaps, pointing a finger at Judge as if holding him personally responsible. Which, knowing Card, might not be far from the truth. “KOJI stopped him and Magnifico got away, but Johnson hit him over the head with something - KOJI isn’t sure what - and then put him in a damn juji-gatame and wouldn’t let go! His left arm could be completely wrecked!” KOJI nods vigorously, having understood most of what Card is saying, and utters a couple of sentences that seem to be him confirming Technical Perfection’s diagnosis. “Well, that’s unfortunate of course,” Judge says, pursing his lips, “but if you guys hadn’t got involved in this-” “Hang on just a minute!” Card growls, striding forwards to bury his finger in Heartford’s chest, “the only reason we got involved was because your company doesn’t do a good job of protecting its wrestlers, as has just been proved again!” “-and you wanted to get revenge for Johnson beating TORU in the Cold Front Classic, plus you hate Cucaracha Internacional!” Hearford replies, his own voice rising. “Don’t go hiring your wrestlers out as bodyguards and then come complaining to me when they get hurt, Chris! And before you say anything else,” he continues, raising a hand to forestall Card’s next words, “no, Johnson will not be stripped of his title shot for this because, as KOJI told you, he never laid a finger on Magnifico.” “Fine,” Card says through his teeth, “but you can tell Peters I want a match booked for Lockdown; TORU vs. Johnson. That little runt won’t fluke his way past TORU twice, and he’s gonna pay for this!” “I’ll see what I can do,” Judge replies, well aware of when to concede a little ground, “I need to go and tell Joe about this anyway. If you have everything under control here…” he continues, looking past Card at the EMTs. They nod, having got KOJI up to a sitting position and begun to apply a sling. Card watches Judge leave, then turns to Natasha and TORU who have just arrived. “Natasha, you’d best go with KOJI to the hospital,” Technical Perfection says without preamble, “TORU, come with me; we need to find Magnifico.” Card strides past them without another word. Natasha instantly moves over to KOJI and starts to talk to him in Japanese. Meanwhile TORU pauses to exchange a quick word of his own with his tag partner, then turns to follow Chris Card. The techs and onlookers scatter from his face in a way they didn’t do for Card, and more than one privately think that they’d rather not be JJ Johnson when the Japanese Hammer catches up with him. A couple even wonder about the long-term prospects of being the notably absent El Luchador Magnifico… FADE OUT

“We’re back live in Ames, Iowa,” Longdogger Pete bellows over the raucous noise of Storm’s generic theme music, “and we’ve got a great match coming up for you! Only a few days ago on Smarkdown we saw TORU Takahara defeat Landon Maddix with his Shooting Star Press, but now he has to face Landon’s tag partner for when they challenge TKO for the Tag Titles - Max King!” “A team of Landon and Max King,” Suicide King says, studiously using the man’s full name so as to avoid any confusion with himself, “you have to admit Dogger, that despite the familiarity they may have with each other there’s no way they can match TKO for slick teamwork.” “Well, it’s true that since Wild and Dangerous split up there is no team in the SWF who can,” LDP agrees, “but I think that this rejuvenated Max King could be the difference-maker!” “THE KING… HAS… RETURNED!” As if on cue ‘Superstar’ by Saliva hits and the crowd rises to its feet in an almost universal show of appreciation for the man who for so many months infuriated them all on a weekly basis. King grins briefly at the reaction but he and Kelly Connelly both seem focused on the task in hand as they make their way down the ramp, with Kelly giving him quiet words of advice and Max nodding soberly. “I fail to see how someone who lost to Ghost Machine Version 2.0 can add much to a team,” Suicide King responds to Pete’s comment. “Only last show you were telling me how talented Ghost Machine Version 2.0 is!” Pete protests. “Compared to Max King, yes. It’s all relative,” King smirks, taking a swig of Pepsi. However, the Gambling Man’s derision is interrupted as Funyon raises his microphone while Kelly Connelly wraps herself around her man in the middle of the ring. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he booms, “the following contest is scheduled for one fall; introducing first, in the ring to my left; he hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and weighs in tonight at 250lbs… this is ‘The Icon’… MAAAAAAAXXXXXXX… KIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!” Kelly carefully removes Max’s shades and vest before leaving Wrestling’s Superman to perform his pre-match stretches. King seems to be taking particular care over them tonight; he got surprised by Ghost Machine V.2 on Smarkdown and he doesn’t want the same sort of thing to happen tonight to a good preparation is essential. However, he doesn’t get to finish them in peace as the harsh drums and stark guitar riff of ‘Teethgrinder’ by Therapy? start up, causing the Smarktron to begin flashing up ‘TKO’ interspersed with shots of TORU doing various painful things to unfortunate people. “In the modern SWF where we lack monsters like Janus, the Hville Thugg or others of their ilk, Max King is one of the biggest wrestlers around,” Longdogger Pete says. “However, TORU Takahara is not only bigger than Max, he’s arguably stronger, faster and tougher!” “As such, it’s a travesty that their last meeting was technically a win for Max King,” Suicide King intersperses, “all because of Bruce Blank’s well-meaning intervention-” “Well-meaning?” Pete queries, “he bribed security to claim there was a problem with TORU’s Visa!” “-as I was saying,” King continues stridently, “Bruce meant well but really he should have stood aside and let TORU take Blank’s then-tag partner apart, as I have no doubt he will do here tonight. Mr. King may be accompanied by a veritable Queen, but compared to yours truly he’s no more than a Court Jester,” the Heartbreaker smirks. “That joke was old even before Lawler had plastic surgery,” Pete says. “…who?” With his vinyl trenchcoat flapping behind him TORU Takahara strides down the ramp with his tag belt around his waist. Once he reaches the ring he pauses to allow Natasha to divest him of his coat (although unlike Max he keeps his shades on) before hopping up to the apron, then grabbing the top rope in both hands and athletically vaulting into the ring whereupon he gives Max the double bird! King just shrugs that one off but TORU sneers at him and turns to exchange last-minute words with Card in Japanese. “And his opponent,” Funyon booms, earning him a glare from Technical Perfection, “accompanied to the ring by Chris Card Enterprises; from Saitama Prefecture, Japan, he weighs in tonight at 264lbs and is one-half of the SWF Tag Team Champions… this is ‘The Japanese Hammer’, TOOOORRRRRRR-RRRRRUUUUUU… TAKA-HAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd definitely seem to have decided that King is preferable to the Japanese Hammer and let both competitors know it in no uncertain terms. Max smiles encouragingly and the crowd and waves one arm to encourage them to greater efforts but TORU simply gives the fans the finger, then smirks in a self-satisfied manner as their derision increases in volume. Referee Brian Warner calls both men towards the middle of the ring, then signals for David Blazenwing to ring the bell: *DING-DING-DING!* A split-second before the bell TORU charges forwards and aims a running knee strike at Max’s sternum - The Icon manages to half-dodge, but TORU’s knee still catches him a glancing blow and throws him off-balance. TORU wastes no time in following up and begins to unload kick after punishing kick into Max’s left leg, driving the Superior Talent backwards around the ring. King seems to be trying to set himself to move in for a takedown but every time he readies himself- *CRACK!* -TORU’s foot slices into his thigh and throws him off again! With Max (literally) on the back foot TORU wades in and grabs his opponent around the head, delivering first a punishing knee strike to the midsection, then a stunning one to the jaw! King stumbles backwards with a glassy expression, and TORU takes one step after him then simply reaches up and piefaces the man to send Max King toppling backwards to the mat! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “TORU SUCKS!” “TORU SUCKS!” “Well, at least they’re capitalising properly,” Suicide King says, looking around with grudging respect. For his part TORU isn’t doing anything to endear himself to the fans as he grasps his bicep with one hand and makes an obscene pumping motion with his arm, then turns towards Kelly Connelly. The leggy beauty is shouting encouragement to her man, but she quickly wises up to the fact that TORU has his sights set on her. Well aware of the big man’s agility Ms. Connelly retreats a step in case he has something aggressive like a plancha on his mind, but the Japanese Hammer just lowers his shades and ostentatiously peers over them, clearly undressing his opponent’s manager with his eyes! “FUCK HIM UP MA-AX, FUCK HIM UP!” Kelly smirks and points over TORU’s shoulder. The big man doesn’t seem overly concerned and simply turns around to find Max King back on his feet and heading for him. King doesn’t make any attempt at offence though - instead he marches straight up to TORU and goes nose-to-nose with the massive Saitaman. “I think Max King is as mad about the disrespect he was shown as anything else,” LDP states as the two men growl insults at each other, even though neither has a clue what the other is saying. “Max should feel lucky that TORU just pushed him over instead of finishing him there and then,” King remarks, taking the opportunity of a break in action to ogle Kelly some more. Not that he wasn’t ogling her when the action was taking place, but that’s the sort of perk you get when you’re a former World Champion and Commissioner. Max doesn’t seem to appreciate Suicide King’s assessment of the situation; instead, The Icon continues snarling insults at TORU. Takahara raises a hand and yawns, then uses that same hand to pieface Max again! King doesn’t fall over this time, and comes back with a slap that knocks TORU’s shades off and sends them skittering across the ring! TORU snaps his head back to face Max, clearly figuring out what painful punishment should be administered for such impudence… but Max has decided to end this discussion, and he leaps in the air to deliver an enzuigiri! *KER-RACK!* The blow connects with the side of TORU’s head and the big man wobbles, then drops to one knee, but doesn’t go completely over. Max King scrambles back to his feet and seems vaguely bewildered that his opponent, although dazed, isn’t prostrate on the canvas; however, you don’t become a former ICTV Champion by letting the grass grow under your feet and so Max takes advantage of Takahara’s lowered posture to thread his arms through underneath TORU’s into a double underhook, then hauls his opponent back to a standing position before delivering a crisp butterfly suplex that lands TORU on his back and drives the breath from his lungs! *BANG!* Max instantly floats over into a cover… ONE! …but doesn’t get any more than that, as TORU fires a shoulder off the canvas! King gets to his feet and lets TORU sit up, then approaches from behind and performs a somersault over his opponent’s head, grabbing the big Saitaman’s head as he does so and snapping his neck. TORU falls back clutching it and King gets back to his feet - dusting himself off, to a ripple of amusement from the crowd - before grabbing TORU’s head and bringing him back up to his feet. The Japanese Hammer is a resilient customer, but Max drives a right hand into his face to soften him up before Irish whipping the bigger man into the ropes. TORU hits and rebounds, but Max ducks under the attempted lariat and instead fastens a sleeper hold around Takahara’s head. TORU fights it - well, he waves his arms around and staggers in a circle with Max hanging off him - but King brings an end to that by kicking his feet out and dropping TORU on the back of his head as the Sleeper Drop is completed. “LET’S GO MA-AX!” “LET’S GO MA-AX!” The Iowan (is that a word?) crowd are firmly behind the Superior Talent who exchanges pleased glances with Kelly Connelly on the progress of the match, then heads for the corner. Once there he quickly scales the turnbuckles until he reaches the top rope, whereupon he leaps off… …sails through the air… …and lands hard, driving his elbow deep into TORU’s chest! *WHAM!* TORU’s coughing fit from the impact doesn’t prevent King from making another cover, causing Brian Warner to drop to his hands and knees and make the count… ONE! TWO!! …but TORU is nowhere near succumbing, as the big man kicks out just after two! King purses his lips as if to suggest that he wasn’t expecting anything else but thought it was worth a try, then takes hold of his opponent and brings him upright again. TORU obliges, perhaps too short of breath to do much else at the moment, and Max King places him in a headlock before grabbing his opponent’s tights and lifting, then driving TORU’s head into the canvas with an elevated DDT! “LET’S GO MA-AX!” Chris Card and Natasha are starting to look a little more concerned at ringside as Max gets back up to his feet. TORU has rolled over onto his back from the impact of the move but King makes no move to cover him; instead the Superior Talent steps through the ropes to the apron and begins to climb again… which is when Chris Card Enterprises move into action. With surprising speed for someone who has only been seen as a manager in the last couple of years, Chris Card darts around the ring and seizes Kelly Connelly, spins her around and places her in a reverse headlock. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “That’s the setup for the Cardiac Arrest!” Longdogger Pete bellows in outrage as the arena explodes in consternation. “Chris Card is going to perform his former finisher on Ms. Connelly, simply because her client is doing well in the ring!” No. No, he’s not. However, what Card does do is attract Brian Warner’s attention to the plight of this damsel in distress. The referee looks over and begins demanding that Card release Kelly, while Card simply smiles his cracked gravestone smile and shakes his head. Max King has seen what’s going on as well, but before he can decide what to do about it Natasha gets up onto the apron and shakes the top rope, causing him to slip and crotch himself on the top buckle! With The Icon thus incapacitated the Goth Bitch decides to add her own taste to the proceedings by stepping into the ring (after checking that Warner is still distracted), then superkicking Max King in the groin with her stiletto heel! *CHING!* “STERILISER!” Pete roars as Card, the need for a decoy done with, releases Kelly and pushes her contemptuously away. “It was all a goddamn setup!” “Simple, as you would expect from Card,” King sniffs, “but reasonably effective nonetheless.” ‘Effective’ is probably not how Max King would put it. ‘Excruciating’ might be closer to the mark, as Wrestling’s Superman tries very hard not to let tears escape his eyes on national television. However, even this is likely to prove the least of his worries very soon as TORU Takahara rises back to his feet and focuses on him. The Japanese Hammer narrows his eyes and strides towards his paralysed opponent with bad intentions in mind, then mounts the turnbuckles in front of King. Once on a level with The Icon TORU reaches up and underhooks Max’s left arm arm, then goes for the right… “A Super Tiger Driver!” LDP gasps in horror as Takahara’s nefarious plan becomes clear, “that could end the match right here, right now!” But the Miami Menace’s name-checking of a Fatboy Slim track does not come to pass as King refuses to be so easily put away; the former ICTV Champion fights it and not only prevents his right arm from being trapped, but even manages to pull the left away! That doesn’t seem to impress TORU though, and he delivers a stinging, insulting slap to his opponent’s face, then places one big hand on Max’s jaw and shoves! The first pieface sent a momentarily-stunned Max onto his ass. The second one just annoyed him. This one sends him toppling off a precarious seated position on the top buckle, all the way down to the arena floor. *CRASH!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” OK, not all the way. He bounced off the apron on the way down. “What is wrong with this man!?” Pete seethes as TORU climbs back down from the turnbuckles, jerks a thumb over his shoulder to indicate Max King to the horrified and slightly sickened Brian Warner, and barks something in thickly-accented English that might approximate ’COUNT!’ “Now that’s impressive!” Suicide King says with admiration, “not only insulting, but devastating too! I’m going to look forward to seeing this in the Wrestling Panda’s results section, Pete; TORU Takahara defeated Max King by count-out, following a shove!” Brian Warner doesn’t really have much of a choice, of course: ‘ONE!’ ‘TWO!’ Kelly Connelly has gone rushing to the side of her man; Card and Natasha seem to think about interposing themselves between her and him, but decide it’s not worth it in the end and stand aside to let her pass (both of them taking the opportunity to look at her ass as it passes). The lovely Ms. Connelly seems almost in tears as she talks in low, urgent tones to Max King to see if he can continue. King seems to nod a pained affirmative, but he’s showing no signs of even getting back to his feet yet, let alone into the ring. ‘THREE!’ ‘FOUR!’ TORU has sat down in the corner of the ring, slumped against the bottom turnbuckle, and calls Card over to him. Technical Perfection produces the Japanese Hammer’s shades (rescued from the mat after Max King’s slap), then passes the big man a bottle of Sake! TORU takes a swig, momentarily distracting Warner from his count to demand that he remove the bottle from the ring. TORU just shrugs, gives him the finger and points in the general direction of Max King to indicate that he really doubts there’s going to be any more in the way of a match. ‘FIVE!’ ‘SIX!’ From the look on his face as he continues counting, Brian Warner might be in agreement with the Tag Champion. However, it seems a certain Philly native might have something to say about that. “…LET’S GO MA-AX!” The chants suddenly start up again at full volume as the battered Superior Talent staggers to his feet. ‘SEVEN!’ “LET’S GO MA-AX!” TORU’s eyebrows raise far enough to be visible above his newly-replaced shades. The Japanese Hammer passes the Sake bottle back out to Card without taking his eyes from his revived opponent, then slowly pulls himself to his feet to get a better look. ‘EIGHT!’ “LET’S GO MA-AX!” Max King wobbles, but remains on his feet. It’s been a bit close, but he’s definitely going to beat the count back into the ring. All eyes are on him, and no-one sees TORU removes his shades again and toss them over the top rope to Card. ‘NI-’ It is at that moment that TORU Takahara races across the ring, barges past referee Brian Warner and clears the top rope with a mighty leap, sending 264lbs of Japanese Hammer directly at Max King with a tope con hilo! *WHAM!!* “…HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” Now, it’s true that a tope con hilo isn’t that impressive in this day and age where cruiserweights do all sorts of insane, gravity-defying things. The thing is, TORU isn’t a cruiserweight; he’s a heavyweight, and right now you can bet that Max King knows it. “TORU Takahara just crushed Max King!” Longdogger Pete cries, starting to sound slightly hoarse, “he realised King was going to beat the count and simply took him out!” The law of physics states, broadly, that big guys will land harder than little guys. TORU did more damage on re-entry than a Wildchild or a Zyon, but it takes him a couple more moment to pick himself up as well. However, no matter how shaken the Japanese Hammer seems, Max King is in worse shape. TORU, wincing as he straightens, seems to consider leaving his opponent on the outside and trying for a count-out again, but that seems to be a rather inexact science where Max King is concerned. Besides, it just wouldn’t be as satisfying. Therefore TORU shoves Kelly away and grabs Max by his hair to haul him to his feet, then rolls the Superior Talent under the bottom rope. TORU climbs up to the apron, then grabs the top rope in both hands and slingshots himself in, twisting in midair to land an elbow on his opponent that doesn’t do Max King any favours. “Max King has taken an awful beating over the last couple of minutes,” Pete says in concerned tones, “you have to wonder if he’s capable of getting back into this match even if he gets an opening; which with Card and Natasha to run interference, it doesn’t look likely will come,” the Longdogger adds bitterly, eyeing CCE as they exchange smirks. “Don’t resent TORU simply because he’s controlling the match,” Suicide King chides his partner. LDP mutters something non-Lockdown-friendly and grabs the Gambling Man’s drink to steal a swig. With a couple of devastating moves under his belt, TORU has figured that it might be time for a cover. From his landing position off the elbow he rolls into a loose lateral press, causing Warner to drop for the count… ONE! TWO!! TH- -but King kicks out! TORU glares at Warner as if blaming him for his opponent’s resilience, then reaches out and hooks his opponent’s far leg to make a more determined cover. ONE! TWO!! THR- -but Max kicks out again, still not willing to give up the fight! TORU snorts in disgust to show what he thinks of the two fingers that Brian Warner raises for the world to see, then grabs King under his arms and demonstrates some fairly impressive strength by hauling his opponent up bodily. Once upright TORU reaches through the woozy Max’s legs and grabs The Icon’s far arm to pumphandle it, before applying what amounts to a half-nelson to the near arm. Takahara waits a couple of seconds, just to drive home to everyone watching that he has Max King completely tied up and under his control, before using his leverage to hoist King off his feet, tilt him 90 degrees in midair so his head is pointing straight down, and sit out to drop the unfortunate King with the TORU Driver! *BANG!* King crumples bonelessly to the mat as TORU releases his grip, then gets back to his feet and heads for the turnbuckles. Max King is flat on his back at a diagonal to the ring ropes - a perfect set-up for what the Japanese Hammer has in mind. He makes that very clear by raising both fingers over his head and twirling them backwards, the same direction that one would spin in if one was to be doing… “The Shooting Star Press,” Pete says with an aura of resignation, “I have to say that for all Max King’s fighting spirit, if TORU hits this then it’s got to be all over!” TORU reaches the top rope, looks around to make sure that as many people as possible have time to point their cameras at him, then leaps off into the air… …backflipping in mid-flight as the flashes go off to capture the SWF’s most agile big man… …and comes crashing down! *BANG!* …onto a mat unfortunately lacking in Max King. He rolled to the side, cunning devil. “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “LET’S GO MA-AX!” “LET’S GO MA-AX!” “HE MOVED!” Pete roars into the noise, “Max King found the strength to move aside, and now it’s all to play for! Can he come back!?” “No!” King snaps, showing slightly more concern than he probably intended, “Max King has merely prolonged the end!” Damnit, Max King doesn’t seem to agree with his namesake. He finds the strength first to pound the mat with his fist, then to start to push himself up. It’s not a quick process; every new movement seems to bring a new twinge or ache, but Max persists. After a few seconds he’s back on his feet and drinking in the roars of the crowd… but as he turns around he finds that TORU has risen as well, the impact of the missed Shooting Star Press having only slowed him slightly! Max tries to get the advantage by swinging with a right, but TORU gets his left arm up to block it, then goes to the eyes to send Max staggering back into the ropes! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Damn it!” Pete shouts, unable to contain himself. TORU takes a gasping breath, still unable to suck much oxygen into his flattened lungs, but is able to grab Max King’s wrist and Irish whip him into the far ropes. King rebounds, but whether his streaming eyes have cleared and he sees TORU’s lariat coming or he just ducks on instinct, the Tag Champion’s blow misses and the Icon continues on, back to the ropes he started from. TORU turns to track him, but isn’t ready for the flying forearm that greets him! *CRACK!* “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” In classic Max King style, Wrestling’s Superman rolls through the move and comes to his feet to assume a (slightly shaky) pose that he holds for a second. TORU gets back to his feet, but the big man is dazed and staggers over to the corner to try and recover. King doesn’t waste a moment; the Philly native charges at his opponent, launching himself into the air when he’s a yard or two away and crushing TORU between his flying body and the turnbuckles! Max rebounds off his opponent and staggers, but catches himself… then steps back in and begins unloading chops into the Japanese Hammer! *SMACK!* “WHOOO!” *SMACK!* “WHOOO!” *SMACK!* “WHOOO!” *SMACK!* “WHOOO!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” TORU tries to cover up, but Max is having none of it; the Superior Talent is on a roll now, and with what is nearly a roar he grabs TORU and hauls him out of the corner. He delivers a sharp kick to the gut that doubles Takahara over, then places him in a standing headscissors and lifts, before jumping into the air and spiking TORU on his head! *BANG!* “Jumping Piledriver!” Pete says, gripping the arms of his chair, “could this be it!?” ONE! TWO!! THHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! TORU kicks out, and the crowd and Max King can’t believe it! The Icon isn’t daunted however, and he grabs TORU’s head to haul him upwards before placing him in a rear headlock. He reaches forwards to hook TORU’s leg ready for the King Buster… “ARGH!” …and TORU reaches up and backwards and digs his fingers into King’s eyes. Brian Warner yells at him of course, but Max has already released his hold by then. And as LDP starts spouting epithets that would do Cyclone Comet proud, TORU turns around and places Max King into a double underhook… but he doesn’t lift for the Tiger Driver straight away; instead he starts firing knees into King’s gut. *WHAM!* *WHAM!* Max King has proved himself to be a very resilient man. *WHAM!* No more mistakes. *WHAM!* Now TORU lifts… and despite any effort Max might be making to the contrary, he’s hoisted bodily off the canvas and turned upside down before the Japanese Hammer sits out. *BANG!* “TIIIIIIIGGGAAAAAAHHHH DRRRRRIIIIVVVVVAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!” King roars, hoisting his Pepsi up in salute. Brian Warner just drops to count. ONE! TWO!! THHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *DING-DING-DING!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner,” Funyon booms over the crowd’s disapproval, “the ‘Japanese Hammer’, TOOOOORRRR-RRRRRUUUUUU… TAKA-HAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!!” TORU rolls away from where Max King is staring sightlessly up at the ceiling lights and straight under the bottom rope to where Chris Card and Natasha are waiting. Without a backwards glance at his defeated opponent, he accepts the return of his coat, shades and title belt, and together the trio make for the entrance ramp. “That’s power!” King exclaims in pleasure, “that’s talent! That is why Magnifico chose so well when he employed TKO to be his bodyguards against that lunatic JJ Johnson!” “Do I need to remind you,” Pete retorts, knowing full well that he doesn’t, “that JJ Johnson beat TORU in the final of the Cold Front Classic?” “Pshaw,” King sniffs, “it occurred in a mosque, Dogger. I’m sure that makes all such results null and void.” With the Gambling Man finding a way to insult yet another audience demographic, the production truck quickly cut the mics. The final shot focuses on TORU Takahara marching up the entrance ramp. He’s on another roll. Who will stop him this time? FADE OUT

*cameras return us to Storm where the focus is on the ring where the Announcer stands with mic in hand.* Ring Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is a Hardcore Match! *the lights begin to dim, psychedelic colors flash across the audience, and “I’m Your Boogie Man” begins to flood the arena. Some of the fans cheer “Dillon! Dillon! Dillon!” while The 70s Dude cabbage-patches his way out from the back.* Ring Announcer: Coming down the aisle, he comes to us from Newark, New Jersey…this is…The 70s Dude! *The Dude starts his journey to the ring, all the while taunting fans along the way.* Pete: Well folks, put the children to bed because this match isn’t going to be for the faint of heart. King Suicide: I know The 70s Dude has a load of experience in these types of matches, but he’s never faced anybody as sadistic as Manson. Either way, the only real winner is going to be the medical staff that will be earning overtime pay after this is said and done. *The 70s Dude having made his way into the ring begins to use the ropes to stretch a bit, while saying cruel things to a child at ringside that happens to be wearing a Tim Dillon t-shirt. KC & The Sunshine Band’s groovy tunes fade away and are replaced by a much harder brand of music that just blasts through the arena’s sound system. Manson comes out from the back ignoring the many boos now directed in his direction. Unlike The 70s Dude, Manson has decided to dress up a bit more for the occasion with a small roll of chicken wire around his left shoulder, a rope with cowbell attached draped across his neck, and an old ax handle in his right hand.* Pete: I think its safe to say we won’t be seeing clips of this one on Lockdown… SK: Clips? I’d be shocked if they even acknowledged it. *Manson runs down to the ring, lets the barbed wire roll off his arm and fall to the floor just outside the ring and then proceeds to slide in under the bottom rope. The 70s Dude turns around just in time to get jabbed in the stomach by the end of the ax handle, knocking the wind out of him and causing him to fall to the mat. The announcer scatters from the ring before he even got the chance to introduce Manson, and referee Fats McGee calls for the bell to officially get this one under way. Manson follows up his first strike by clubbing The Dude in the side of the knee with the ax handle, causing the knee to buckle and send the fat hippy to the mat. Manson drops the ax handle, grabs the bull rope from around his neck and drops down over The Dude and begins to choke him with the rope. Fats McGee begins to tug on Manson’s shoulder and pulls him off The 70s Dude.* SK: What’s he doing? This is a hardcore match! Pete: He’s doing his job King. He can’t very well let Manson choke him to death! SK: Why not? It’s a lot easier to pin them that way *The Dude lays down coughing and trying to get his breath back while Manson starts arguing with Fats. After shoving Fats a couple times Manson returns his attention to the match and brings The Dude to his feet. Manson Irish-whips The Dude into the ropes and lowers his head for a back-body drop. He lowers his head too soon though and after bouncing off the ropes The Dude comes to a quick stop, double-underhooks Manson quickly, and then drops him on his head with a DDT. Both men fall to the ground with The Dude unable to capitalize due to the sneak attack from earlier. Fats comes over and begins the mandatory 10 count.* 1! 2! 3! *Manson begins to come to* 4! 5! *Manson gets to one knee while The Dude starts to slowly try and push himself up* 6! 7! *Manson gets to his feet while The Dude brings himself to his knees. Fats waves off his count and Manson walks over to The Dude who has noticed the ax handle laying close by. Manson reaches back and clocks The Dude in the head with a stiff right. The Dude however is able to grab the ax handle and as Manson goes for another stiff right The Dude swings the ax handle and nails Manson in the thigh. Manson backs away and hops about in pain, allowing The Dude time to get to his feet. Manson turns back to The Dude and gets creamed in the head with the ax handle, splitting his forehead open and causing him to drop to the mat like a sack of potatoes.* Pete: Good god! He’s got to have a concussion after that one! *The Dude tosses the ax handle out of the ring and then just falls on the prone Manson.* 1! 2! 3! DING! DING DING! *KC & The Sunshine Band begins to play once more and Fat McGee lifts the arm of The Dude while paramedics make their way down to ringside to check on the still motionless Manson. The fans boo both The Dude and the length of the match having expected much, much more.*

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall." famed ring announcer Funyon begins. "In the ring from Sacramento California. Weighing two hundred and nine pounds, "The Bemani Cross Wizard" CED ORDONEZ!!" The fans applaud part-time referee Ced as he does some quick leg stretches in the corner. As he does, "Ole" by Bouncing Souls hits. The crowd don't recognize the music so don't really react to the masked man who jogs through the curtains. Until he reaches into his boot and throws a handful of candy into the crowd. King: I hate him already! "And his opponent is making his SWF debut tonight! Hailing from Tocula Mexico and weighing two hundred, twenty pounds. This is, LABERINTO!!" A few cheer the newcomer now. Laberinto seems to be smiling underneath his mask, as he jogs down the ramp and slides into the ring. The first thing he does is remove his gold cape before shaking the referee's hand warmly. Ced watches on with a smile. Pete: Our newcomer sure seems quite a friendly guy. King: Yeah but can he wrestle? Pete: Seeing as he has an SWF contract, I'd guess "Yes". DING DING DING! As the bell rings, Laberinto offers a handshake to Ced. Ced's a nice guy, so smiles and accepts, before the two jog around the ring. Pete: A handshake to start. That makes a pleasant change. King: Why don't they just kiss and get it over with? Jogging finished, the two lightweights tieup in the middle of the ring. Ced gains the advantage with a side headlock, but Laberinto escapes with some forearms. Going behind, the masked man applies a hammerlock, then jumps forward to grab a headlock himself. Ced senses it and steps backwards, meaning Laberinto grabs only air. Most would be embarrassed, but Laberinto actually smiles and applauds Ced's move as he gets up. Pete: Great sportsmanship being shown here. The two men lock up again and this time Laberinto grabs the headlock. His delight at that distracts him though and Ced pushes him off into the ropes. Laberinto runs back with a shoulder block and manages to knock Ced back a couple of steps. Showing off his hidden muscles, Laberinto asks Ced to try. He does and he gets the same result as his opponent. Pete: Neither man knocking the other down in that exchange. King: It's dumb trying shoulderblocks when you're only just over two hundred pounds and there's proof why. With no advantage gained, the two men circle again before Laberinto offers up a knuckle lock. Ced is cautious with his weight disadvantage, but takes the bait and looks for a test of strength. Before he can get it Laberinto spins under the arm and takes Ced back into the hammerlock. Ced crouches down and spins to face the luchador, kicking his arms away to free himself and then takes Laberinto down with a drop toehold. First up, Ced then runs into the ropes as his opponent stands. Leapfrog by Laberinto! Ced hits the ropes again but Laberinto is waiting and armdrags Ced over. But amazingly, Ced lands on his feet and dropkicks the surprised Laberinto to send him out to the floor. Pete: These two men matching each other very well in the early going! King: How do you know Laberinto is a man? It may just be a flat chested woman! Pete: Explain the bulge at the front. King: Maybe he's smuggling plums. Those Mexicans are known as smugglers you know. As Laberinto recovers on the floor, he again applauds Ced. Which is a dumb move, as Ced dives over the top rope and takes Laberinto out with a plancha! Ced is up quickly and throws Laberinto back in, then follows and pins... ONE... TWO... Kickout! Ced pulls up Laberinto by the mask, whipping him into the corner and charging. Laberinto evades and Ced smashes into the corner unprotected causing him to fall to his knees. Laberinto steps past him and jumps to the middle rope. Reaching forward, Laberinto then hooks the head and attempts a tornado DDT but Ced manages to push Laberinto off in front of him. Landing on his feet, the jolly masked wrestler gived Ced a thumbs up. Ced responds by hitting a roundhouse kick that earns him some boos from the fans who are warming to Laberinto. King: Thank you Ced! Finally, somebody stopped this lovefest and started wrestling. The Bemani Cross Wizard ignores the crowd and applies a sitting half boston crab. Laberinto tries to crawl to the ropes quickly but Ced pulls him back into the middle of the ring and then applies the move again, putting his weight on Laberinto's back. This time Laberinto can't crawl for the ropes. The referee asks the Mexican if he wants to quit. And although he can't speak English the masked man gets his point across. Pete: A simple move but effective as Ced works on the leg. King: Smart wrestling. You take the flyer's leg out, he can't fly. Showing some heart, Laberinto tries to crawl again. Ced decides to drop Laberinto and stomps on the back of the leg a couple of times. Ced then pulls up Laberinto and pushes him into the corner. Again, Ced stomps on the knee. Laberinto tries to push Ced away, but Ced stays on the attack with his kicks. Ced then grabs Laberinto and pulls him out of the corner and into a dragon screw legwhip. Holding his knee with muffled shouts Laberinto is in pain. Ced sees this and takes advantage with a Bret Hart kneebreaker. "La - Ber - In - To!" "La - Ber - In - To!" "La - Ber - In - To!" The fans get behind the newcomer as Ced pulls him back up and goes for another dragon screw legwhip. Before he can connect, Laberinto lands a surprise enzuigiri and covers... ONE... TWO... Kickout! Pete: Ced was almost shocked there! Laberinto limps up and Ced is up as well. And Laberinto is first to strike, with a knifedge chop. "Wooooooooooo!" Chop! "Wooooooooooo!" Chop! "Wooooooooooo!" The chops get the required crowd reaction. But Ced isn't too hurt by them and he kicks Laberinto in the gut to chance the momentum. As he opponents gasps for air, Ced lifts Laberinto up in a firemans' carry and looks for the Regal Roll. As he runs forward though Laberinto falls back with a crucifix... ONE... TWO... T...Kickout! Both men back up. Ced runs in trying to go after the leg again and he grabs it only for Laberinto to spin his other leg over Ced's head and surprise him again with an Oklahoma rollup... ONE... TWO... T...Kickout! Both men get back up again quickly. Ced stuns Laberinto with a kick and looks for a vertical suplex. The masked man floats safely over the move and lands behind Ced though, then pulls him down by the head with an Edge-O-Matic. Pete: He calls that 'Uno Momento'! King: Because he's Mexican, right? That's cute. Pete: He speaks Spanish King. Of course he movenames will sound Mexican. With Ced down, Laberinto now heads to the top rope. He reaches the middle and flashes a 'thumbs up' to the fans. That delay lets Ced recover though. He catches Laberinto with a punch to stun him, then climbs to the middle facing his opponent. Ced then reaches out and tries to scoop Laberinto into his arms, which Laberinto escapes with a series of elbows to the head. The elbows keep going until Ced is dazed. Laberinto then pushes Ced off the top rope and to the mat. Pete: Ced seemed to be setting up his Fallaway Moonsault Slam, the Dynamite Rave, but Laberinto fought him off! Ced remains down as Laberinto finally makes it up top. Flashing a smile for the fans, he then tucks himself as he leaps off the top with a top rope back senton...but Ced raises his knees and Laberinto lands right across them! "Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!!!" Pete: I think Ced was playing possum! The block leaves Laberinto clutching his back in pain but on his feet. Ced manages to get scramble up to the middle rope and waits for Laberinto to stumble back close before jumping onto his shoulders and tumbling into a victory roll... ONE... TWO... TH...KICKOUT! Pete: I don't think Ced liked that count from our referee. King: He's a referee himself, so he should know what a slow count is and slow count isn't. I agree with him! Ced picks Laberinto up and hits his vertical suplex he attempted earlier. Ced floats through but not for a cover as he walks over to the nearest corner. Jumping to the middle rope, Ced then springs off with a double stomp that drives his entire weight into his opponent's stomach. Ced wisely follows quickly with a pin... ONE... TWO... TH...KICKOUT! Disappointed at his opponent staying in the match, Ced decides to change tactic and goes for the knee again. Laberinto kicks him away though, sending Ced stumbling back across the ring. Ced goes for the legs a second time but again gets kicked away. A third time Ced looks for the legs. This time, Laberinto sythes him with a drop toehold and Ced lands across the middle rope. Laberinto slowly gets up holding his stomach, but manages to run across the ring and execute the 619! "Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" Laberinto can't follow up as he's hurt. He stays on the apron breathing heavily which is allowing Ced to recover. But he doesn't recover in time. Laberinto finally stands up and grabs the top rope, slingshotting himself in with a somersault senton! Pete: A tribute to Eddie Guerrero! Laberinto is again hurt after the move. Luckily all he has to do is lean back for a cover... ONE... TWO... T...KICKOUT! Now Laberinto questions the count and insists it was "Tres", but the referee tells him it was just "Dos". Laberinto waits for Ced to stand and attempts and irish whip, which is reversed. Laberinto hits the ropes and Ced looks for a clothesline which is ducked by Laberinto, who continues running and comes back off the ropes with a spinning wheel kick. Ced ducks though. Landing hard, Laberinto slowly comes back up. Ced catches him coming up in a front facelock for a DDT. Laberinto blocks however, spinning out of Ced's grip and hooking his veteran opponent under the head before running towards the corner and up the turnbuckles. Desperately Ced grabs the top rope, blocking the Sliced Bread #2 and making Laberinto land on his feet. Ced throws a mule kick that winds Laberinto, then steps up to the middle rope and reaches out for his opponent. His opponent is able to counter though as he reaches up and armdrags Ced off the middle rope. Ced is quickly up, but right into a kick by Laberinto who then hooks the head and runs for the corner again, scaling up the turnbuckles and this time hitting his Sliced Bread #2! Pete: Second time lucky for the newcomer with the Sliced Bread #2! Laberinto decides not to go for the pin. Instead, he walks over to a further away corner and exits with the top rope in his sights. Climbing up, Laberinto seems to have judged wrong as Ced is some way away. But Laberinto still climbs. And as he gets up top, he signals that the match is over. Standing up top, he then soars off with a Diving Headbutt...which lands right into Ced's shoulder! Pete: Está Terminado! King: What the hell does that mean? ONE... Pete: It means, It's Over! TWO... King: Oh. THREE!!! DING DING DING! "Here is your winner, by pinfall...LABERINTO!!!" "Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!" Laberinto sits up and punches the air delighted with his victory. "Ole" by Bouncing Souls hits again and Laberinto salutes his newfound fans, continuing to celebrate. Pete: An impressive showing from Laberinto in his SWF debut. King: He did okay but everybody beats Ced nowadays. Once he gets put up against real competition then we'll see. As he hops down from the turnbuckles, Laberinto turns to Ced. The beaten Bemani Cross Wizard pulls himself up with a disappointed look on his face. Laberinto checks that he's okay and offers a handshake, which is accepted to the applause of the crowd. King: Ugh. I take it all back, he's terrible.

Card: The Main Event - Best of Five (Match 2) - Supermarket Deathmatch Bruce Blank © vs. "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu ---> Akira: 1, Bruce Blank: 0. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Bruce isn't too pleased with this. Nor is he too pleased at the condition he's in after his first match with Akira - maybe he's bitten off more than he can chew? Or maybe he's just getting warmed up. Round 2 takes place in an Albertson's Grocery Store near the arena, and as an added bonus - all the damages will be paid out of the loser's paycheck. Have fun. Rules: Hardcore brawl in the supermarket - the match continues until one man cannot answer the 10 count. -=-=-=-=- TORU Takahara vs. "The Icon" Max King ---> Ouch. Max King takes it on the chin (not like that, you sickos) from Ghost Machine 2.0. Is Max King losing it? Or is Ghost Machine actually, dare I say it... good? Regardless, Max King fights on Storm to regain some pride, against the nigh unstoppable TORU Takahara! Rules: Standard Singles Match. -=-=-=-=- The 70's Dude vs. Manson ---> The 70's Dude's debut against Tim Dillon was impressive... most impressive. But if anyone is known for running newbies through the ringer, it's Manson. Will The Dude's rise to stardom be cut tragically short? Rules: Hardcore~! Y'know, it's Storm and all. -=-=-=-=- Opening Bout Labertino vs. Ced Ordonez ---> He's like a QMM, a Masked Man, and The Riddler, all rolled into one! Only, maybe not the Riddler. Never was very hard to figure out who that was, I mean. This guy, Labertino, though - he's got the mask and everything. Tonight, he debuts against a man who's got one of the longest losing streaks in recent... well, ever, really. Rules: Standard singles match. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As we come LIVE on the air, fireworks and pyro go off throughout the Hilton Coliseum in Ames, Iowa. Yes, Storm is on the air! As the crowd pans through the signs in the crowd all hailing their favorite SWF superstars, we cut to ringside and our trusty broadcast team. Pete: “And welcome to a sold out Hilton Coliseum in Ames, Iowa, and welcome to SWF Storm! I’m Longdogger Pete, along with Suicide King, and tonight, we have a huge main event as Bruce Blank and Akira Kaibatsu meet in match number two of their best of five series!” King: “But the match that could end up stealing the show is Max King taking on TORU Takahara! What a battle that should be!” Pete: “In addition to that…” Pete gets cut off in mid-sentence as the familiar opening strains of Pink Floyd’s “Learning to Fly” come up over the PA. King: “In addition to that, the longest reigning champion in SWF history is going to make an appearance!” Jay Hawke, sporting a swank-looking blue pinstripe suit and wearing the beautiful SWF International Championship belt around his waist, makes his way to the ring as the crowd begins their familiar chant: “JAY HAWKE SUCKS! JAY HAWKE SUCKS! JAY HAWKE SUCKS!” Hawke ignore the chants, making his way to the ring with an evil smirk on his face. Pete: “Well, I never thought I’d say this, but I’m curious to hear what he has to say. After getting himself disqualified at Smarkdown, he made a deliberate attempt to seriously injure Wildchild’s shoulder!” King: “I know Wildchild isn’t here tonight, and I know that Jay Hawke has always had plenty to say when the situation called for it!” Pete: “Well, there was no call for the situation to get to what it was on Monday night. How is Jay Hawke going to be able to justify his actions?” Jay Hawke enters the ring and asks for the microphone as the boos get louder. King: “Well, if everybody would shut up, maybe he’ll explain to us why he did what he did.” Jay Hawke waits for the crowd to die down before speaking. Hawke: “It’s great to be here in Ames, Iowa!” The crowd pops, surprised that Jay Hawke actually mentioned their hometown. Hawke: “I’ve never been to city named after a chain of defunct department stores. Very chic.” The crowd is silent, as nobody in Iowa has ever heard of an Ames department store. Hawke: “But I digress. See, I came out here tonight to tell all of you a little story. You see this belt around my waist? This signifies that I am the SWF International Champion. Nearly seven months now, and no end in sight.” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hawke: “Lots of men have tried to take it from me, and with the exception of Arch Griffon getting to have a cup of coffee on a fluke, they have all failed. And since Arch Griffon failed to keep this title from me for any length of time…and is nowhere to be found…it’s pretty safe to say that I have been a dominant champion since this championship was formed.” King: “There’s a lot of truth in what the champion says, Pete.” Pete: “I can’t disagree with that.” Hawke: “Look at what the SWF has put up against me. Zyon. Manson. Ghost Machine. Johnny Dangerous. Wes Davenport. All have tried to take my title away from me, and all have failed. And there’s another man who has had more than one chance to take this title away from me. Wildchild.” YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” Hawke: “Yeah, just what I thought. One of your heroes, right? Well, you’re cheering for a false hope.” Pete: “What?” King: “Shut up. He’ll explain.” Hawke: “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to take anything away from Wildchild’s athletic ability. The man has more athletic ability than some football player who can’t take more than one shot to the knee without their career being over. But you see, Wildchild lacks something that is necessary to truly be a success in professional wrestling. Sure, he can wrestle. He can fly. He can do things in this ring that most men would break their necks if they even attempted them. And he may very well be the greatest cruiserweight champion this company has ever seen. But there’s the thing. He might be the best cruiserweight champion this sport has ever seen.” Pete: “Where is he going with this?” Hawke: “He’s been content to be the best among the lighter workers. Against men who have never held the World Title. Against men who will never be contenders for the World Championship. And yet he could be so much more. He could be the top guy in this business, and if the championship committee didn’t think so, they wouldn’t continue to stick him in the ring with me for this championship. They wouldn’t have had his classic match with Scott Pretzler main event a major pay-per-view. The talent’s there. The heart isn’t. Everytime he holds a major championship, is it among the top tier? No. Either he’s got a tag team partner, or he’s fighting for one of the lesser championships. This belt right here? The number two title in this business. I didn’t relegate myself to one division or the other. I made the goal to become the best damn wrestler in the world, and holding championships like this goes a long way to people perceiving you as such.” Pete: “Can you believe this?” Hawke: “So yeah, I know people think what I did to Wildchild Monday night was wrong. But in reality, I just did Wildchild a favor. I taught him a wrestling lesson he’ll never forget. See, when Wildchild feels he’s healthy enough to come back and fight me with that injured shoulder of his, he’s going to be hungry. He’s going to be hellbent for revenge. And that’s exactly what I want. See, it takes a man to earn my respect. When Zyon got the shot at this championship, he wanted it. He felt like he had to beat me to prove himself worthy of this championship. And he earned my respect. And that’s I want from Wildchild. I want him to feel like he’s got everything to prove. I want him to give me the match of his life. And I want him to earn my respect.” The crowd boos heavily as Jay Hawke makes a move like he’s going to leave the ring. As he reaches the ropes, he stops and smiles before bringing the microphone back to his lips. Hawke: “But remember one thing, Wildchild. Zyon might have earned my respect…but he didn’t take my title either. I’ll see you in the ring…if your shoulder is ever healthy enough to get out of its sling.” Jay Hawke tosses the microphone down as “Learning to Fly” begins to play again. The crowd boos the International Champion as he leaves the ring, with several fans throwing garbage at him. Pete: “Did he just say he injured Wildchild as a favor to him?” King: “Don’t you get it? He wants to bring out that competitive fire in Wildchild. To bring out the potential that still exists in Wildchild. He wants to make Wildchild a true top player.” Pete: “Yeah, and had Jay Hawke not gotten himself disqualified on Smarkdown, Wildchild would be holding that championship belt right now!” King: “You don’t know that. Personally, I think Hawke’s right. He did do Wildchild a favor.” Pete: “Well, I can guarantee you that the Bahama Bomber doesn’t want any favors from that man. When we return, we’ll have our opening match.”

Well, Max wasn't the only one who forgot about the show. Oops. Going up as soon as I get things organized properly. -Z

Whoops. Edited; send everything Judgem's way. -Z

Excuse my lateness, but I had computer problems yesterday. However, by POPULAR DEMAND~! I have raised the word limit on the main event to 6000. I was at first hesitant, and then I realized that as Janus is marking, it is my job to force him to put in as much extra work as possible. So if you guys would like me to raise it further, such as to 8000, 9000 or 11,000 words, please let me know. -Z

Requested match has been added. -Z

And Janus, it isn't like it's a good main event or anything. -Z

All of the squash matches were requested, and the card was purposely designed to be economical in light of the fact this is only a couple days off of the holidays. Also, because it's something I'm booking, it pretty much has to be explained to me in explicit detail, otherwise I'm not liable for what kind of matches might turn up. -Z

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF FAMILY FRIENDLY LOCKDOWN! LIVE, WEDNESDAY JANUARY 4TH, FROM THE UNITED CENTER IN CHICAGO, ILLINOIS! (7pm PST, 10 pm EST; check local listings) Sweet home, Chicago! The SWF rings in the new year the only way we know how: With the ringing of heads! Hey, why mess with a good thing? We wanted to play with some fireworks, but alas, they thought that might be a bad message for the kids. The first card of 2006 presents a small, but interesting, selection of matches featuring some of the very best the fed has to offer. And to be sure, those who don't have a match may just be popping in anyway. It's a card that's low on calories, but high on PAIN! SWF LOCKDOWN! MAIN EVENT Cruiserweight Title Match Cruiserweight Rules JJ Johnson© vs. Zyon JJ Johnson enters the new year as the undisputed #1 contender to the world heavyweight championship and the leading challanger to El Luchadore Magnifico's iron-fisted reign. But with a take-it-to-the-bank guarantee for a match with the champ at Clusterfuck, the coming weeks will be very intersting, indeed. But! Before business... uh... more business. JJ still has another title to take care off, and he faces off with Zyon for the cruiserweight title in a barnburner to kick off 2006! Rules: Cruiserweight rules, Family Friendly etc Word Limit: 6000 Send To: janusd Singles Match Matt Myers vs. Aidan Redmond Something tells me this match isn't going to be going down as planned. Rules: Singles match? Word Limit: 3500 Send To: chirs3 Singles Match Tim Dillon vs Kevin Coyote The last time we saw Tim Dillon, he was either lost in Afghanistan or wearing a giant penguin suit. Presumably he's neither of these things right now, but that's the thing with IL characters, you just never know. He faces off against Kevin Coyote. Kevin Coyote, he's hip, he's new! Tim Dillon, he's not. FIGHT. Rules: Singles match, Family Friendly etc Word Limit: 3500 Send To: chirs3 Singles Match Ced Ordonez vs. Ghost Machine Gadzooks! Mystery abounds as the mysterious Ghost Machine makes a mystifying return! Personally, I prefer Ghost in the Shell, and neither of these guys are Major Kusanagi. But anyway, th aura of intrigue around these guys is so thick you can almost feel it! Is Ghost Machine a man? A robot!? The Boston Strangler in disguise!? TUNE IN TO NITRO TO FIND OUT! Rules: Singles match, Family Friendly rules. Word Limit: 3500 Send To: realitycheck Opening Bout TORU Takahara vs. Martin "Big Country" Hunt After a stinging loss to JJ Johnson in the finals of the Cold Front Classic, TORU Takahara remains a champion, but a tag team one; still without that distinction in singles matches that he has recently been pursuing. To usher in the new year, however, TORU has been given a gift: An easy match to get his groove back! Shake ya' tailfeather! Rules: Singles match, Family Friendly rules. Word Limit: 3500 Send To: Justice (Send all things to Justice)

All matches have now been edited in to the PPV. Also, the Christmas break does, and has always, counted towards title histories. It's at this point I'd like to add that Judge, Janus and myself were responsible for the raw, shrewd genius that was Blazenwing vs Blazenwing. I heartily endorse what was written and invite all others to read it and be amazed. Enlightened, if you will. -Z

It was late and we're still missing matches, but having seen all of them, I can say this was unequivocally the best Christmas PPV the SWF has ever done. Normally these things are disasters of epic proportions, with missing matches and no-shows abound. Not to say that there weren't no-shows, but there were like... status-quo no-shows. Big congrats to ELM for effectively securing his position as the greatest World Champion of all time. However, MOTN honours has to go to Johnny vs Wildchild. I remain stunned by the outcome of that match. I would have bet a MILLION dollars it went the other way. Good stuff all the way around. The real question to ponder over the break: Will I still be here in January? STAY TUNED -Z

Ho Ho Holy Snap! That PPV was falaffel! Alright, just kidding. Sorry. I just wanted to do that. Surprises all around in this one, a PPV that I can safely say way exceeded expectations. Pour yourself some egg-nog, sit back, and read through this one. With luck, the missing matches should be edited in before tomorrow afternoon. Happy Holidays! See y'all in '06.

“So, dear friends, if you’re tired of being unable to eloquently and gracefully express yourself, please give Elocution: The HVille Thugg Guide to Proper Speaking a try.” Beseeches the Hville Thugg, clad in a sharp-looking three-piece suit. “You won’t be disappointed...ho.” The rather confusing advertisement draws to a close, and in its place comes a black screen and silence. A moment later, the viewer’s senses are suddenly and violently assaulted, as the shot abruptly switches to a view of the breathtaking Masid al-Nawabi, filled with tens of thousands of enthusiastic Saudi Arabians. As the camera pans over the teeming horde, Ramadomination’s official theme song blasts over the makeshift PA, whipping the already overexcited crowd into a frenzy. After a few moments, the camera settles on the calming image of Longdogger Pete and the King of Hearts, sitting behind their announce table beside the ring, which is set up just outside the mosque’s main building. “And welcome back to SWF Ramadomination, ladies and gentlemen!” Pete enthusiastically cries. “This has been one of the more...unique SWF Pay-Per-Views, as we risk life and limb to bring you quality SWF entertainment from the heart of Saudi Arabia!” “Blaspheming is what we do best.” King helpfully adds. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Pete nods. “In any case, we’ve had a tremendous Pay-Per-View thus far; both the Hardcore and International Titles were up for grabs tonight, as was the #1 Contendership to the World Heavyweight Title, as JJ Johnson and TORU Takahara battled it out in the finals of the Cold Front Classic.” “What’s more, Johnny Dangerous and Wildchild beat the living shit out of each other in an I Quit match, a contest that’s been long overdue.” King continues. “Not only did they have their hatred of each other to motivate them, but also the fact that the loser of the match would have their SWF contract rendered null and void!” “It’ll be hard to top what we’ve shown so far, but damn if our next two competitors aren’t going to try.” Pete boldly states. “In tonight’s Main Event, it’ll be the SWF World Heavyweight Champion El Luchadore Magnifico defending the title against ‘The Urban Legend’ Todd Cortez!” “Well, at least this guy is better than the bum we had facing ELM at the last PPV.” King asserts. “And even though I can’t remember his name - ” “It was Spike Jenkins.” Pete interrupts, annoyed. “ – or anything about him,” King continues, unabated. “At the very least, Cortez can claim that he’s garnered a fall on Magnifico, something no one else has done ever since ELM decided to get serious.” “Get serious?” Pete asks, incredously. “Do you mean when Magnifico turned on his friends and the fans and became a grotesquely immoral human being?” “Yeah, that’s it.” King answers, smiling broadly. Pete sighs. “It was on SWF Smarkdownoween that, during a Six-Man Tag, Todd Cortez locked Magnifico in the Street Dreams and made him submit. Furious, ELM challenged Cortez to a match shortly thereafter, but Todd refused...unless Magnifico put the World Title on the line. ELM begrudgingly accepted the stipulation on the condition that the match be pushed back to the SWF Holiday PPV.” “And, here we are.” King finishes. “We’ve all waited patiently, but finally, we’ll see Magnifico exact his glorious revenge on Todd Cortez and prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is greater that Cortez and, for that matter, everyone else in this pitiful federation.” “Uh huh. Or, it could be that Cortez, who has proven himself to be capable of beating Magnifico, will end the luchadore’s miserable title reign and bring hope and joy back to the terrific fans of the SWF.” Pete bravely states, tears forming in the corners of eyes. “Hahaha. God you’re pitiful.” King openly mocks Pete. LDP grits his teeth and struggles to maintain his composure. “Let’s...let’s go to Funyon to get this match underway.” The camera cuts to Funyon, who is looking handsome as ever in his reliable, fashionable tuxedo. He stands proudly in the middle of the ring, surrounded by an unbelievably large crowd, breathtaking in its size. The fans mumur anxiously amongst themselves... Yeah.. One for the treble, two for the bass... ...before exploding into cheers upon hearing the strains Mos Def’s “Oh No.” Their raucous ovation easily drowns out the song’s opening strains, and only grows louder when two bursts of pyro shoot upwards from either side of the ramp, their sparks raining down upon the entrance stage as Todd Cortez strides out from behind the curtain. Wearing an expression of complete determination and concentration, Cortez swiftly makes his way down the ramp, paying no mind to the hordes of fans that line either side of it. “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is this evening’s MAIN EVENT!” Funyon enthusiastically bellows. “Introducing first, from Hollywood Boulevard, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-six pounds...TOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOORRRRRRRRRTEEZZZ!” Cortez approaches the ring and rolls beneath its bottom rope, before heading to the nearby corner and ascending its turnbuckles. When he reaches the top, Todd throws his arms in the air and looks out over the crowd, bathed in the flashbulb light of ten thousand cameras as he does so. After a moment, Cortez steps back onto the canvas and removes his sunglasses and bulletproof vest before handing them to the referee. He then does the same with his gold chain and cross, kissing the cross and holding it to his forehead for a moment before relinquishing it to the ref. With his posessions in the official’s hands, Cortez strides across the ring and steps in front of the far corner, beginning a simple stretching routine as his music slowly fades into silence and the crowd’s reaction finally dies down. “This match has been a long time coming for Todd Cortez.” LDP asserts. “He’s been long recognized as one of the most talented competitors in this federation, but up until a few months ago, he was satisfied with being one half of Martial Law.” “Thankfully, he’s not teamed up with that worthless punk Maddix anymore, as Martial Law broke up in dramatic fashion over one Megan Skye.” King spits. “No one deserves to be on the same tag team as that bastard. But since the breakup, Cortez hasn’t really done much of anything.” “Maybe not.” Pete admits. “But that doesn’t mean he’s undeserving. Not only is he a Three-Time Tag Team Champion, he’s also a former US Champion and one of the greatest Hardcore Champions the SWF has ever known. Cortez has earned this shot. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.” The crowd once again returns to its anxious murmuring, knowing who’s coming out next and ready to boo their little hearts out at a moment’s notice. “HEY HEY!” *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” They get their chance when Atake FDD’s “Tu Final” hits the speakers, in time with a burst of red, white, and green pyro exploding upwards from the stage. A moment later, Magnifico bursts through the pyro-induced smoke, the World Title wrapped around his waist and his Mexican Flag flapping gracefully behind him. Pointedly ignoring the tens of thousands of fans booing his every move, Magnifico quickly makes his way down the ramp and towards the ring. “And now, from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds...” Funyon announces, “He is the SWF World Heavyweight Champion...EL LUCHADOOOOOOOOORRE MAGNIFICOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The spirited introduction doesn’t help Magnifico’s case any, as the spirited booing continues even as the luchadore reaches the ring and rolls beneath its bottom rope. Once inside, ELM pops to his feet and steps into the center of the ring, stealing a quick glare at Cortez as he does so. With Todd carefully watching his every move, Magnifico looks out over the crowd, a disgusted sneer painted across his face. He thrusts the Mexican Flag high into the air, bringing another wave of boos upon the luchadore as his entrance music slowly fades into silence. “Well, even though Magnifico’s shown himself to be despised the world over,” Pete begins, “It’d be hard for anyone to argue the man’s legacy. He’s only the second man to hold the World Title four times, and has held the belt for a combined two hundred and ninety-eight days, more than any other World Champion in the federation’s history, which - ” “Which should tell you how small a chance Cortez has at winning tonight.” King finishes, grinning. “I’m surprised, Pete. You’re usually not this blunt and truthful.” “What I was going to say is that it’ll make Todd’s victory tonight all the more glorious.” Pete counters, matter-of-factly. King crosses his arms and grumbles something unintelligible. Magnifico retires to the corner opposite Todd’s and begins to stretch as the referee hands the various posessions of ELM and Cortez to a nearby aide. As Magnifico warms up, he finally locks eyes with Cortez, who has been coldly staring at the luchadore ever since he walked out onto the entrance stage. ELM expressionlessly returns the stare for a few moments...before grinning broadly, almost looking excited about the upcoming match. Cortez raises an eyebrow as Magnifico finishes his stretching and steps out of the corner, the grin on his face only growing wider. “Look at that! Completely fearless and confident in victory, that’s what Magnifico is!” King cries. “Any reservations he might have had in facing Cortez are totally gone; in its place are unparalleled bravery and unequaled strength of will!” Pete suddenly smacks King upside the head. “Ow! What was that for?!” King questions, annoyed. “The overblown monologue.” Pete simply answers. “Knock it off.” The ref looks between the two men and, upon seeing that everything is in order, signals for the bell. DING DING DING Cortez steps out of his corner and begins to pace around the ring, keeping his eyes locked on Magnifico, who does the same on the other side of the squared circle. With the crowd’s anticipation building by the second, Todd and ELM deliberately circle each other, slowly but surely getting closer to each other and to the center of the ring. Finally, they’re within arm’s reach of one another, and both Cortez and Magnifico lunge at each other, locking up at the center of the ring as the crowd pops for the official start to the contest. ELM and Todd push each other back and forth for a few moments before Cortez gains control, pulling Magnifico into a Side Headlock. The luchadore writhes under Todd’s grip for a few moments before stepping backwards, pulling Cortez with him as he falls into the ropes behind him. Magnifico uses the momentum to push Todd forward and off of him, sending Cortez rushing across the ring and towards the far ropes. He bounces off of said ropes and charges back towards the luchadore, who greets Todd by leaping into the air and extending his legs, looking to wrap them around Cortez’s head for a Hurricanrana! However, Todd manages to duck beneath Magnifico’s legs and continue running, bouncing off of the ropes behind the luchadore as he’s landing on his feet. Before Magnifico can even finish spinning around, Todd is exploding off of the ropes and leaping into the air, aiming his entire body at the luchadore! Cortez’s shoulder slams into Magnifico’s side with ridiculous force, immediately knocking the surprised luchadore to the mat with the Hollow Point! A mighty cheer rises from the crowd as Magnifico immediately rolls out of the ring and steps to the outside, gasping for breath as Todd pops to his feet inside the ring, a carbon copy of ELM’s grin plastered on his face. “Hollow Point!” Pete cries. “Cortez draws first blood with a Hollow Point Spear out of nowhere, and Magnifico looks like he was caught completely off guard!” “A simple ruse, I assure you.” King counters. “As he’s done numerous times in the past, ELM is simply drawing his opponent into a false sense of security. Once Cortez feels he’s secure in victory, BAM! That’s when Magnifico will strike. Checkmate..” Breathing heavily, Magnifico looks inside the ring and sees Cortez standing in the center of it, his arms crosses and his mouth curled into an infuriating grin. Scowling, ELM smacks the apron, rolls back in to the ring, and pops to his feet, Cortez not moving a muscle until Magnifico is back on his feet. When he does stand, Todd uncrosses his arms and begins to pace around the ring once more, followed by ELM a second later as both men begin to circle each other around the ring again. Once Magnifico is within his reach, Todd lunges towards him, looking to lock up again...only for ELM to suddenly thrust his forearm upwards and into Cortez’s chin, surprising him with a European Uppercut! The force of the blow knocks Todd into the ropes behind him, and before he can push himself off, the luchadore steps up and grabs him by the arm, before using his grip to whip Cortez across the ring and towards the far ropes. Todd bounces off of the far ropes and charges back towards Magnifico, who lashes out with his arm, looking to slam it into Cortez’s neck with Lariat! However, Todd manages to roll beneath Magnifico’s arm and pops to his feet behind him, spinning to face the luchadore as the luchadore spins to face him. But as Todd spins, he also lifts and lashes out with his leg, slamming it into the side of ELM’s head with astounding force, immediately knocking Magnifico to the canvas as an impressive roar rises from the pleased audience. Cortez immediately falls to the mat and covers the luchadore, hooking his leg as the ref slides into position and begins counting... ONE! TWO! No! Magnifico kicks out after two, quieting most of the live audience. “Todd’s off to a fantastic start thus far, as he surprises Magnifico with the Hollow Point and follows it right up with a very stiff-looking Roundhouse Kick!” LDP excitedly reports. “It may have looked painful, but I promise you that Cortez’s kicks are in fact rather weak and pathetic.” King asserts. “It’s a little known fact that Todd’s legs are about as spindly and weak as Kevin Nash’s, and as such any kicks delivered by said legs pack no punch whatsoever.” Undeterred by the lack of a pinfall, Todd rolls off of Magnifico, grabs him by the hair, and then stands up, pulling ELM to his feet with him as he stands. Cortez leads Magnifico over to the nearby corner and simply drives his forehead into the top turnbuckle, before releasing the grip and allowing the luchadore to collapse into the corner. Not wasting a moment, Todd immediately begins to pummel away at the luchadore’s body with a series of kicks, slamming his foot into the luchadore’s stomach, chest, and ribs while the delighted crowd grows louder with each blow. Cortez finally finishes assault, leaving the luchadore slumped in the corner, still standing only because his arms are hooked around the top ropes. However, Todd doesn’t allow him to rest, as he grabs ELM by the arm, pulls him out of the corner, and then whips the luchadore across the ring and towards the far corner. Cortez rushes after him a second later, trailing only a few steps behind Magnifico as he bears down on the corner. But before Todd can do whatever it is he planned on doing, Magnifico unexpectedly runs up the corner’s turnbuckles, kicking off of the top one and flipping backwards in mid-air! ELM executes a perfect flip and lands on his feet, confident that Todd wasn’t able to stop himself and ran into the corner. As such, he’s a tad concerned when he sees nothing in front of him but an empty corner...and his concerns prove to be well-founded when Cortez’s arm wraps around his neck from behind and pulls Magnifico downward, locking him into a Dragon Sleeper as the excited crowd pops in anticipation! “Cortez was one step ahead of his opponent, as he skid to a halt while ELM ran up the turnbuckles, and as such was right behind Magnifico when he landed on the mat!” Pete explains. “Todd’s quick thinking has allowed him to lock ELM into the Dragon Sleeper, which is the first part of the Street Dreams!” “Psh, you act like Todd’s achieved an unbelievable victory with his laughable trickery.” King scoffs. “Outsmarting Magnifico even once is an impressive feat, but let’s see if he does anything with the situation he’s created for himself.” The second Todd locks in the Dragon Sleeper, Magnifico begins to wildly twist his body and flail his arms violently, doing his best to prevent Cortez from pulling him down to the mat. Luckily for the luchadore, he’s still fairly close to the ropes and manages to grab onto the nearby top rope before Todd can get tired of his crap and pull him down to the canvas. Seeing the rope break, the ref immediately insists that Cortez break the hold, and Todd begrudgingly complies. The second Magnifico’s out of the hold, he spins towards Todd and slaps him across the face, knocking Cortez’s head to one side as the surprised fans gasp as one. ELM takes advantage of Todd’s surprise by delivering a quick jab to his chin and following it up with several more, backing Cortez up into the center of the ring as the annoyed fans boo spiritedly. Magnifico eventually lets up on his assault and grabs Todd by the arm, looking to use his grip to whip Cortez across the ring. However, Todd manages to reverse the whip, sending ELM towards the far ropes. Magnifico bounces off of the ropes and charges back towards Cortez, who steps forward and shoots his hands out, wrapping them around the luchadore’s neck right after he comes off of the ropes! A deafening pop rises from the crowd as ELM grabs Todd’s arms and desperately tries to pry his hands away, trying his best to escape Cortez’s grip before he can execute the Urban Assault! “Urban Assault! Cortez has Magnifico by the neck and appears ready to hammer him into the canvas with his signature Sitout Chokeslam Bomb!” Pete announces. “Complete unabashed cheating!” King cries. “Choking! This is what Todd Cortez has resorted to to try and get a leg up on Magnifico! I am ashamed to say I’m employed by the same company as this ruffian.” His eyes staring coldly into Magnifico’s, Todd begins to lift his opponent into the air...only to immediately stop when ELM suddenly drives his knee forward, slamming it into Cortez’s gut! Todd’s grip weakens significantly as he doubles over, allowing Magnifico to break free of it. ELM lands on his feet and immediately throws another knee into Todd’s stomach, doubling him over further and allowing Magnifico to easily pull him into a Front Facelock. Magnifico then immediately throws his body backwards, whipping Todd over his head and slamming his body into the canvas with a Snap Suplex! His mouth agape, Todd arches his back in pain only to immediately be pushed back to the canvas, as Magnifico covers him right after landing the Suplex. As Magnifico reaches over and hooks Todd’s leg, the ref slides into position and begins counting... ONE! TWO! No! Cortez easily kicks out after two, drawing a few cheers from the encouraging crowd. “Serves Todd right!” King indignantly declares. “I, for one, will not tolerate such outright underhandedness in this federation!” “That statement might have a little more weight if it hadn’t of come from the most blatant cheater in the history of the SWF.” Pete casually responds, earning himself a nasty glare from King. ELM immediately rolls off of Todd and begins to stomp away at the Urban Legend as he struggles to his feet. Cortez manages to stand despite the constant kicking from the luchadore, but the second he’s on his feet, Magnifico grabs him by the arm and whips him across the ring, sending him towards the far ropes. Todd turns and bounces off of the ropes, and as he does so, he catches sight of Magnifico running towards him at top speed! ELM suddenly hits the mat, his feet aimed directly at Cortez’s shins with a Baseball Slide! Todd manages to hop over the sliding luchadore...only for Magnifico to reach up and grab Cortez by the leg in mid-hop! Todd falls flat on his face as Magnifico slides beneath the bottom rope, grabbing Cortez’s other leg as he steps to the outside! ELM simply jerks backwards on both of Todd’s legs, yanking him beneath the bottom rope and throwing him to the thinly-padded concrete floor! Todd cries out and curls up his body in agony as he lands flat on the floor, the pain of the sudden impact spread out to every part of his body. The crowd as a whole roundly boos Magnifico’s actions, and in particular the ones right near him curse ELM out in indecipherable but undoubtedly nasty Arabic. “Now that’s the sign of a true competitor!” King boldly states. “Even after Todd somehow managed to dodge ELM’s blazingly fast Baseball Slide, he still had the presence of mind to grab Cortez’s leg in mid-air and cut off any annoying let ultimately-meaningless offense Todd might have had planned.” As Magnifico begins to gleefully kick away at the ribs and kidneys of Todd Cortez, the referee begins his count from inside the ring. ONE! After a few moments, ELM seems to tire of simply kicking the snot of out of Cortez and instead grabs him by the arm, using the grip to whip Todd across the floor and towards the far guardrail. Cortez turns and crashes back-first into said guardrail, his body bending over the formed steel as he throws his head back and cries out in pain. The entire crowd seems to wince as one as Magnifico suddenly breaks into a sprint, charging at Todd with frightening speed! TWO! However, as ELM bears down on Cortez, the Urban Legend suddenly dives out of the way, leaving Magnifico suddenly bereft of a target! Panicked, ELM leaps into the air before running into the guardrail, instead landing on top of it as nearby fans fight the urge to push him off! But Magnifico has a hard time keeping his balance on the rail, as he waves his arms wildly in a desperate attempt to keep himself from falling off! THREE! Suddenly, Todd hops onto the guardrail beside Magnifico, garnering an incredelous look from the luchadore even as he struggles to keep his balance. Cortez’s intention becomes obvious when he grabs ELM’s right arm with his right and hooks his left leg around Magnifico’s right, setting him up for a Russian Leg Sweep on top of the guardrail! FOUR! Not pausing for a moment, Cortez immediately throws himself off of the rail, falling to the floor and slamming Magnifico’s back into the floor with the Russian Leg Sweep off of the guardrail! The impressed crowd roars its approval as Magnifico’s eyes widen and his back arches in pain, while Cortez grimaces and grits his teeth right next to him. “What an inventive, amazing move from Todd Cortez!” Pete cries, honestly impressed. “Cortez took advantage of ELM’s imbalance on the guardrail, which allowed him to easily set up and execute the Side Russian Leg Sweep from the rail to the floor!” “Yeah, slamming his own back into the floor at the same time.” King rolls his eyes. “I mean, look at him! Todd’s obviously in more pain than Magnifico, which isn’t surprising considering ELM’s legendary tenacity and tolerance to pain. I predict that ELM will be on his feet and in the ring before Todd can even respond to the ten count.” FIVE! Indeed looking to be in severe pain, Todd writhes on the floor for a few moments, looking no better off than his opponent...before suddenly kipping to his feet, hopping into the air, and sticking out one leg, dropping it across ELM’s neck as he falls to finish the Side Russian Leg Sweep/Leg Drop Combo! Elated cheers pour in from every part of the corner as Magnifico writhes around on the floor, choking for breath as Cortez pops back to his feet beside him. SIX! “You were saying?” A grinning Pete questions King. “Shut it, Longdogger.” King snaps. Once Todd is standing, he grabs Magnifico by the hair, painfully pulls him to his feet, and rolls him into the ring. Cortez slides in right after him, pops to his feet, and grabs the luchadore by the arm, before using his grip to pull the luchadore to his feet. Todd then whips Magnifico across the ring, sending ELM rushing towards the far ropes as he steps into the middle of the squared circle. Magnifico bounces off of said ropes and charges back towards Cortez, who sidesteps towards the luchadore and throws his foot into the air, aiming it right at Magnifico’s forehead for a Superkick! However, ELM manages to skid to a halt and throw his hands in front of his face, catching Todd’s foot mere millimeters in front of his face! Magnifico immediately throws Cortez’s foot to one side, spinning his body around on one foot. But before Todd can complete his spin, Magnifico steps forward and wraps his arms around Cortez’s waist, locking him into a Rear Waistlock in the center of the ring! Cortez abruptly throws an elbow backwards, only for Magnifico to duck beneath it and loosen his grip a bit, allowing Todd to spin around before reapplying the now-Front Waistlock! Not wanting any further interruptions, Magnifico immediately hoists Todd into the air and throws him over his head, driving Cortez’s body into the canvas with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex! The disappointed fans boo as one while the luchadore floats over and covers Cortez, hooking his leg as the ref slides into position and begins counting... ONE! TWO! TH-No! Cortez kicks out at two and a half, drawing a few hopeful cheers from the live audience. “Brilliant countering from Magnifico, as he not only reverses Todd’s Superkick but turns his attempt at escaping the Rear Waistlock against him and into a Belly-to-Belly Suplex!” King mindlessly gushes. “Well, I guess Magnifico was due to outsmart someone eventually.” Pete casually replies, ignoring King’s indignant glare a moment later. ELM rolls off of Cortez, grabs him by the arm, and stands up, pulling Todd to his feet as he stands. The second Todd’s on his feet, Magnifico suddenly lashes out with his arm, slicing it deep into Cortez’s chest with a biting Knife-Edge Chop! *SMAAAAAACK* “WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Even Saudi Arabians know of the greatness that is Ric Flair, as they cheerfully “whoo” the Knife-Edge Chop despite the man doing the chopping. The strike sends Todd stumbling backwards into the corner behind him, collapsing into its turnbuckles as Magnifico steps up and draws his arm back once more... CHOP! *SMAAAAAAAACK* “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Todd’s chest glows a flourescent pink as Magnifico grabs him by the arm, pulls him roughly out of the corner, and whips him across the ring. Cortez rushes towards the far corner and crashes back-first and violently into its turnbuckles, visibly stunned by the impact as he flounders out of the corner and towards the center of the ring. Grinning to himself at his good fortune, Magnifico suddenly breaks into a sprint from the other side of the ring, charging at Todd Cortez at frightening speed! But as he approaches, Todd suddenly steps forward and grabs Magnifico around the waist, before hoisting him into the air as the delighted crowd roars in anticipation! Cortez immediately sits out while driving Magnifico’s body downwards, slamming his back into the canvas with the Sitout Spinebuster! Another wave of passionate cheering pours in from the overexcited crowd as Cortez pushes back Magnifico’s legs, making the pin while the ref slides into position and begins counting... ONE! TWO! TH-No! Magnifico gets a shoulder up at two and a half, quickly sobering the live audience. “Magnifico seemed to be in complete control of the contest, until Todd retook charge with a surprise Sitout Spinebuster!” LDP cheerfully reports. “More trickery! Does Todd Cortez’s aggressive unsportsmanlike behavior never cease?!” An outraged King cries. “King, you can’t automatically assume that Todd was suckering Magnifico into that Spinebuster.” Pete patiently explains. “I can and I will.” King snaps. “It’s completely clear to me at this point that Todd Cortez isn’t even in ELM’s league and must resort to unbridled cheating to even remain in the contest.” Not resting for a moment, Todd grabs Magnifico by the hair and stands, painfully pulling ELM to his feet as he does so. Still gripping Magnifico’s scalp, Cortez steps behind his opponent and pulls the luchadore into a Inverted Facelock, immediately drawing another anticipatory pop from the overexcited crowd! However, before Cortez can move onto the next part of the Street Dreams, Magnifico suddenly spins his body around, turning the Inverted Facelock into a regular one! Magnifico then charges forward, pushing Todd in front of him like a two hundred and twenty-six pound Latino battering ram! Cortez tries to plant his feet and stop the luchadore’s forward progress, but isn’t able to do it before ELM rushes him through the top and middle ropes, the crowd “OHHHH!”ing in surprise and dismay as both men tumble awkwardly through the outisde! Both Magnifico and Todd crash onto the floor, hitting the thinly-padded concrete at awkward angles as the nearby fans cringe sympathetically for the two competitors. “Goddamn!” Pete shouts. “Magnifico, desperate to counter the Street Dreams, grabs Todd and simply charges him through the ropes and to the outside!” “There was nothing desperate about ELM’s actions!” King sharply counters. “His plan to escape Todd’s joke of a submission was calculated and flawless.” “Really. Which part of the plan entailed him tumbling to the outside and landing hard ona concrete floor?” Pete asks. “Part C.” King matter-of-factly replies. Both men lie motionless on the floor, completely still save for the spasmic jerk of a arm or leg. From within the ring, the ref begins to count out both Todd and Magnifico. ONE! A moment later, Cortez stirs and rolls onto his stomach, remaining there for a second before beginning the ardous climb to his feet. Magnifico joins the climb shortly thereafter, trailing only a step or two behind his opponent. TWO! Todd lunges to his feet, leaning the apron to keep his balance. Beneath him, Magnifico reaches one knee, only to have an annoyed Cortez crack him in the jaw with a quick right. Stunned by the blow, Magnifico nearly falls back to the floor, but Cortez grabs him by the arm and jerks him to his feet before he can do so. THREE! “Let the man back on his feet, for God’s sakes!” King implores. “At least pretend like you’re concerned with making this a fair contest.” However, as ELM is pulled to his feet, he suddenly throws his knee forward, slamming it into the gut of Todd Cortez! A surprised Urban Legend doubles over and grasps his gut in pain as the fans in first couple rows angrily boo and curse the luchadore for his unexpected attack. Their displeasure only grows when Magnifico grabs Todd by the scruff of the neck and the back of the pants, using his grip to drag Cortez with him as he charges towards the steel steps on the far side of the floor! FOUR! As Magnifico approaches the steps, he abruptly throws Cortez forward, hurling his body violently at the unyielding steel structure! Todd manages to duck his head and avoid a blow to his skull, instead taking the full brunt of the impact on the back of his head and shoulders! A collective wince rises from the audience as Todd falls to the floor, cradling his head in his hands. Magnifico rubs his jaw at the spot where Cortez slugged him a moment ago, scowling as he stares down coldly at his opponent. FIVE! “Now THAT’S more like it!” King cheerfully surmises. “Nothing makes a point like simply throwing your opponent into a block of formed metal.” “And what point would that be?” Pete pries. “That he’s tired of Cortez getting one over on him at virtually every opportunity?” “Yes! I mean, shut up!” King snaps, annoyed. After a short breather, ELM grabs the motionless Urban Legend by the hair and yanks to his feet, before rolling Cortez beneath the bottom rope and into the ring. Magnifico rolls in a second later and immediately covers his opponent, hooking Todd’s leg as the ref slides into position and begins counting. ONE! TWO! No! Cortez gets a shoulder up at two and a half drawing a few hopeful cheers from the live audience. Gritting his teeth in frustration, Magnifico rolls off of Todd, climbs to his feet, and slams the tip of his boot into Cortez’s kidney. The crowd grows louder and louder as ELM continues to kick away at Todd’s side, shouting at Cortez in furious Spanish as he does so. Cortez starts to climb to his feet even through the kicks, which doesn’t improve Magnifico’s demeanor any. When Todd reaches one knee, ELM suddenly grabs him the hair and pulls him into a Front Facelock, before grabbing and hooking one of Cortez’s legs! As anticipatory boos pour in from every corner of the mosque, Magnifico hoists the Urban Legend into the air, looking to spike his head into the canvas with the Barrio Buster! However, before he can do just that, Todd reaches up and wraps an arm around Magnifico’s neck, at the same time grabbing one of the luchadore’s legs! Cortez then throws his body backwards, pulling Magnifico with him and down to the mat before rolling him up and pinning him to the canvas! The elated crowd roars in excitement as the surprised luchadore struggles wildly to escape, doing all he can to break the pin as the ref slides into position and begins counting... ONE! TWO! THR-No! Magnifico just barely escapes the three count, drawing a disappointed “OHHHHH!” from the capacity crowd. ELM springs to his feet immediately after escaping the pin, while Todd struggles to his a couple feet away. However, the second he stands, Magnifico immediately charges towards him and lashes out with his arm, slamming it into Todd’s neck and knocking him to the canvas with a quick Lariat! The incensed crowd spiritedly boos the luchadore as he begins to wildly stomp away at Todd Cortez, furious at his reversal of the Barrio Buster. “Serves you right.” King smugly declares. “Magnifico was about to perfectly execute his signature Barrio Buster, and you had to go ahead and reverse it. Nobody likes a spoil sport, Todd.” “Believe it or not, King, Todd’s main goal here isn’t to make Magnfico look good.” Pete explains, rolling his eyes as he does so. “You mean he’s still clinging to the ridiculous dream of winning this match?” King scoffs, disbelieving. “How pathetic.” After delivering countless stomps to various parts of Todd’s prone body, the still-angry Magnifico grabs Cortez by the arm, jerks him to his feet, and immediately cracks him in the jaw with a European Uppercut, sending Todd stumbling backwards into the ropes behind him. Cortez drunkenly leans up against them, but only receives a moment’s rest as Magnifico hastily grabs him by the hand and pulls him off the ropes, before using his grip to violently whip Todd across the ring. Cortez bounces off of the ropes on the other side of the ring and charges back towards Magnifico, who lashes out with his arm as Todd approaches, looking to drive it into his chest with a Knife-Edge Chop! However, Cortez manages to duck beneath ELM’s arm, immediately jumping into the air after doing so! Todd’s feet land on the middle rope but only stay there for a moment, as he quickly springs backwards off of the cable and flies towards the luchadore, extending his arm in mid-air for a Springboard Lariat! ELM spins around just to have his neck bashed in by Cortez, who makes perfect contact with the Lariat, slamming his forearm deep into Magnifico’s throat as the the surprised crowd roars in delight! Choking for breath, ELM scrambles to his feet as Todd rolls to his, both men spinning to face each other as they stand. An incensed luchadore rears back to strike Cortez, but before he can even ball up a fist, Todd blasts the luchadore in the chest with a ridiculously stiff Side Kick, literally knocking Magnifico backwards and into the corner behind him! “God knows where he’s getting it from, but Cortez is displaying one hell of a second wind!” Pete reports, barely able to hide his excitement. “All it took was one moment of inattention for Todd to regain control of this match in dramatic fashion!” “Yeah, because lots of World Champions made their way to the top by meaninglessly bouncing and flying off of the ropes.” King grumbles. “Enjoy his harmless little outburst while it lasts, Pete. Cortez’s downright laughable offense won’t work again, I promise you.” ELM leans languidly against the corner, only staying on his feet because his arms are hooked over the top rope. Todd doesn’t seem to mind, though; he steps in front of Magnifico and abruptly lashes out with his leg, slamming the tip of his boot into the right side of ELM’s head with a ridiculous amount of force! Magnifico’s head is knocked violently to the left and he threatens to fall out of the corner, but before he can do so, Cortez jerks his leg in the other direction, driving the heel of his boot into the luchadore’s left temple! Magnifico’s head is knocked back to the right, and this time it appears he’ll just fall flat on his face...until Cortez suddenly leaps into the air, driving his boot into ELM’s skull with a graceful yet cringe-inducing Gamengiri! The force of the kick easily knocks Magnifico out of the corner, his lifeless body crashing onto the canvas as the fans cheer louder than they have all night. Immediately after landing on his feet, Cortez quickly grabs Magnifico by the arm, drags him into the center of the ring, and turns him onto his stomach, right before covering him to the great delight of the crowd. Cortez hooks the leg as the ref slides into position and begins counting, helped along by the heavily-accented English of the overly excited live audience... ONNNEEE! TWWWWOOO! THRRR-No!! Magnifico gets a shoulder up just before the ref’s hand can slap the mat a third time, drawing a collective and disappointed “OHHHHH!” from the gigantic, raucous audience. “No! An amazing two-kick combo topped off with a Gamengiri from Todd Cortez, but it wasn’t quite enough to keep Magnifico down!” Pete reports. “Who is he, Chuck Norris? KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE KICKS, ALREADY!” King shouts, annoyed. “Well, you really shouldn’t be concerned, King.” Pete sympathetically comforts his broadcast partner. “After all, Cortez’s ‘laughable offense’ is nothing to worry about, right?” “Cute, Longdogger.” King responds, smiling sarcastically as he inwardly curses himself for not being able to think of a better comeback. Still hopped up on adrenaline, Todd quickly rolls off of Magnifico, grabs him by the arm, and then pops to his feet, pulling the still-stunned luchadore to his in the process. Cortez drags Magnifico into the center of the ring before throwing his knee into the luchadore’s gut, doubling him over and allowing Todd to easily pull him into a Standing Head-Scissors. Todd wraps his arms around ELM’s waist, takes a deep breath...and then hoists the luchadore onto his shoulder, beginning the setup to the Neckwrecker to the great delight of the live audience! “Neckwrecker! Todd’s going for his signature Canadian Backbreaker Neckbreaker, which could very well end this match should he be able to land it!” A hopeful LDP reports. Cortez releases his grip on Magnifico’s waist so that he can shift it to his neck...but ELM manages to slither off his shoulder as he does so, landing on his feet directly behind the Urban Legend! Magnifico immediately makes a break for the ropes, bouncing off of them and charging back towards Cortez as Todd spins to face the luchadore, clearly annoyed at his escape from the Neckwrecker. As ELM approaches, Todd suddenly lashes out with his leg, aiming his foot at the side of Magnifico’s head with a Roundhouse Kick! Magnifico manages to roll beneath the kick just in time, Cortez’s leg barely grazing his scalp as he does so! Magnifico pops to his feet behind Cortez, spinning to face him as Todd, delayed a second by the momentum of his kick, spins towards the luchadore. The second his eyes meet Magnifico’s, the luchadore drives the tip of his boot into Todd’s stomach, doubling him over in the center of the ring. ELM grabs Todd by the arm before kneeing him right under the chin, immediately and violently knocking Cortez upright as the annoyed crowd spiritedly boos the luchadore’s actions. The stunned Urban Legend offers little resistance as Magnifico wraps Todd’s arm behind him with a Chicken Wing, before wrapping his own arm around Cortez’s head! ELM then falls to his knees, pulling Todd down with him and driving his shoulder into Magnifico’s shoulder with Montezuma’s Revenge! Todd springs backwards off of ELM’s shoulder and falls flat on his back, lying motionless on the canvas as a mixture of concerned and angry boos pour in from every part of the mosque. Magnifico quickly covers Cortez, hooking his leg as the ref slides into position and begins counting... ONE! TWO! THR-No! Todd gets a shoulder up just before the three count, drawing a relieved pop from the capacity crowd. “Magnifico somehow manages to survive all of Todd’s misplaced martial arts and escape the Neckwrecker, right before punishing the foolish man with Montezuma’s Revenge.” King efficently summarizes. “A second ago, those ‘misplaced martial arts’ were beating the snot out of Magnifico.” An annoyed Pete adds. “Good on ELM for escaping the Neckwrecker, but don’t act like he wasn’t in serious trouble right before doing so.” “I think I’ll do just that, thank you very much.” King stubbornly counters. ELM pushes himself off of Cortez and shoots a nasty glare at the ref, who innocently holds up two fingers in his defense. Magnifico rolls his eyes and rises to his feet, where he doesn't even rest for a moment before abruptly making a break for the nearest corner. With the live audience booing his every move, the luchadore quickly ascends the corner’s turnbuckles Todd remains motionless on the canvas. ELM reaches the top turnbuckle and crouches upon it, taking his attention off of Cortez for a brief moment to ensure his balance before leaping off of the top rope. When he looks back down at the mat, he sees the spot formerly occupied by Cortez troublingly empty! Even more concerning is that Magnifico sees Todd out of the corner of his eye lunging at the top rope, throwing his whole body onto it in an attempt to upset ELM’s balance! Cortez’s actions do just that, as Magnifico looses his footing and falls straight down, getting crotched on the top turnbuckle as the delighted crowd roars its approval. ELM’s eyes and mouth widen as the pain paralyzes his entire body, the luchadore too distracted by the unbearable agony to notice Cortez purposefully heading towards him. Pete winces. “Once again, we see Cortez can take serious advantage of a moment of inattention, no matter how small it may be!” “So this is what our once-proud federation has been reduced to. Cheap laughs from crotch shots.” King grimly assesses. Todd quickly ascends the corner’s turnbuckles, the crowd’s anticipatory cheering growing louder the higher he gets. Cortez reaches the top turnbuckle and delivers a quick shot to Magnifico’s jaw, making the sure the luchadore is thoroughly stunned before he continues. Todd carefully stands up on the turnbuckle before grabbing Magnifico by the hair and just as carefully pulling him to his feet. Cortez then grabs ELM by the leg and under the arm and hoists him into the air, holding the luchadore against his body as if for a Fallaway Slam! Cortez doesn’t even wait for the crowd to cheer in anticipation before leaping backwards off of the turnbuckle, holding Magnifico against his body as he executes a picture-perfect backflip in mid-air! Thousands of flashbulbs illuminate the scene as Cortez slams ELM’s back into the canvas with a ridiculous amount of force, completing the Moonsault Fallaway Slam as the amazed fans release a deafening pop! Cortez’s body is knocked slightly into the air by the force of the impact, but he simply falls right back onto Magnifico’s chest, effectively making the cover to the great delight of the live audience! Cortez lies motionlessly across Magnifico’s chest as the ref slides into position and begins counting, everyone in attendance gleefully counting along with his slaps of the mat. ONNNNNNNEEEE!! TWWWWWOOOOOOO!! THHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRNNNNOOOO!! “OHHHHHHHHHH!!” Magnifico gets a shoulder up mere milliseconds before the three count, drawing a collective disappointed gasp from the live audience. Cortez wearily rolls off of Magnifico and stares blankly up into the night sky, his chest heaving as he wonders what he’s going to have to do to keep ELM down for the three count. “No! No!” Pete cries, as disappointed as the fans in attendance. “Cortez hit the amazing Moonsault Fallaway Slam, but Magnifico just managed to kick out! Todd had nearly become the World Heavyweight Champion!” “And thank God he didn’t, because it’d be the sham victory to end all sham victories.” King snaps. “Todd’s Moonsault Fallaway Slam is nothing but an overblown acrobatic display that pucks little if any punch.” “Ah, so you’re saying that, in reality, it’s a fairly weak move.” Pete confirms. “Yes, exactly.” King grins, happy that LDP sees his point for once. “Okay. I’ll keep it in mind that Magnifico very nearly lost his title to such a weak maneuver, then.” Pete casually states, earning himself another nasty glare and some mumbled curses from King. Cortez rolls onto his stomach and begins to slowly push himself to his feet, the strain that the contest is putting on his body beginning to show itself. Eventually, Todd lunges to his feet falls against the ropes, breathing heavily as he struggles to remain on his feet. He looks down on Magnifico with unmistakable anger and frustration, staring holes into him as the luchadore lays motionless on the canvas. After a few moments’ rest, Todd pushes himself off of the ropes, grabs ELM by the arm, and slowly pulls the dead weight off of the canvas. Once Magnifico’s on his knees, Cortez roughly pulls him into a Standing Head-Scissors, drawing another wave of anticipatory cheers from the excited crowd. Cortez locks his arms around Magnifico’s waist, further inspiring the crowd as they anxiously await Todd’s Riot Act Plus! Todd closes his eyes and gathers the strength to complete the move...but isn’t given a chance to finish, as Magnifico grabs him by the legs and suddenly stands up, hanging Cortez over the luchadore’s back and putting him in postition for a Double Leg Slam! “Yeah! There we go!” King suddenly cries, “Todd isn’t ever going to land the Riot Act Plus on Magnifico. Of course, if he never learns that, it’ll keep getting reversed, so whatever.” ELM tries to whip Todd’s body forward and execute the Slam, but Cortez is holding himself steady with his vice-like grip around Magnifico’s waist! Before ELM can attempt anything else, Cortez reaches down, grabs Magnifico by the legs, and pulls back hard on them, jerking him downwards and towards the mat! Todd rolls ELM up with the Sunset Flip, pinning the struggling luchadore to the canvas as the ref slides into position and the fans cry out in surprise and joy... ONE! TWO! THHHRRRRRNNNNOOOO!! Magnifico breaks free of the pin and rolls to his feet, doing so as Cortez does the same a few feet in front of him. Todd stands first and immediately charges at the luchadore, throwing his arm out with a quick Lariat just as Magnifico is standing. However, ELM manages to duck beneath Todd’s arm, Magnifico spinning to face Cortez as he skids to a halt after missing the Lariat! Todd turns to face ELM and is immediately grabbed by the leg and under the arm, right before Magnifico hoists Cortez into the air as if for a Scoop Slam! “Well, Magnifico might not have been able to follow through on his original brilliant counter to the Riot Act Plus,” King gleefully begins, “Everything ended up turning out for the best, as he’s mere moments away from spiking Todd’s skull into the canvas with the Dia de los Muertos!” Magnifico is just about to drive Todd’s body downwards when Cortez unexpectedly slips out of his grip, slipping down the luchadore’s shoulder as the relieved crowd releases a massive cheer. They only grow louder when Cortez wraps his arm around Magnifico’s neck, locking in the Dragon Sleeper as he lands on his feet behind the luchadore! Not wasting a moment, Todd immediately falls onto his back, dragging ELM down to the canvas with him before wrapping his legs around Magnifico’s body! Cortez then wraps his left arm around Magnifico’s, wrenching back on it and finally locking in the Dragon Sleeper to the great delight of the crowd! “Street Dreams! Street Dreams!” Pete cries, halfway out of his seat. “Cortez reversed the Dia de los Muertos into his signature Modified Dragon Sleeper, the very submission that he used to make Magnifico tap out over a month and a half ago! It took three tries to lock it in, but Todd now looks to be on the verge of winning this match!” The ref falls to his knees and gets in the luchadore’s face, asking the luchadore if he wants to submit as Todd wrenches away at his neck and shoulder. ELM’s response is a shouted “NO!” followed by a string of unintelligible curses. Annoyed at his resistance, Cortez clamps down on Magnifico’s neck and pulls back even further on his arm, nearly tearing it out of the socket as the luchadore cries out in excruciating pain. The camera closes in on Magnifico’s face, getting a perfect view of the unsightly expression of agony his face has twisted into. The luchadore seems ready to submit, until he suddenly...smiles? Magnifico instantly stops struggling, causing a confused Cortez to look down at the luchadore’s face and catch sight of his unsettling grin. As an irritated yet curious Todd tries to figure out what Magnifico could find positive about this situation, ELM suddenly pulls his legs inwards and plants his feet, right before using his position to push himself off of the canvas! With the submission still being applied, Magnifico arches his body backwards, pushing Todd onto and pinning his shoulders to the mat! The dismayed fans immediately stops cheering and look on in alarm as the ref slides into position and begins counting, doing so as a surprised Cortez tries to untie himself as quickly as possible... ONE! TWO! THHHHHHRRRRRRRRNNNOOOOO!! Cortez unhooks his legs and arm and gets a shoulder up just before the three count, breaking the bridge and causing Magnifico fall harmlessly to the canvas. “Damn it!” King snaps, annoyed. “Magnifico was this close to reversing the Street Dreams into a pinfall and compltely humiliating Todd Cortez.” “It was an unexpected and effective reversal to be sure,” Pete begins, “But why did Magnifico seem so panicked when Todd went for the Street Dreams the first two times?” “Because he wanted Cortez to believe that he feared the Street Dreams; that if he locked it in, the match would surely be over.” King happily explains. “Of course, I’m sure Magnifico planned on ending the match with that reversal, but no big deal. With Todd now completely confused and demoralized, it’ll only be a matter of time before ELM scores the pinfall.” Magnifico rolls away from Cortez and begins to push himself to his feet, where the lingering effects of the Street Dreams make themselves evident. Pain still racking his neck and shoulder, ELM sluggishly rises to his feet, moving much more slowly than Cortez. Tired but basically unharmed and motivated by his growing hatred of the luchadore, Todd quickly gets to his feet and strides over to Magnifico, who has just reached his hands and knees. Cortez steps in front of the luchadore, wraps his hands around his neck, and painfully pulls him to his feet, Magnifico wearily clawing at Todd’s hands as he’s lifted off of the canvas. Todd then smoothly lifts ELM into the air, the crowd growing louder in anticiption the higher Cortez raises the luchadore. Todd looks up and stares coldly into Magnifico’s eyes...before suddenly sitting out and driving ELM’s body downwards, slamming it hard into the canvas with the Urban Assault! Magnifico bounces off of the mat before falling lifelessly to the canvas, his body completely broken as the crowd roars for what they feel must be the end of the contest. Cortez deliberately grabs Magnifico’s legs and pushes them back, pinning ELM to the mat and drawing the ref down to make his count. The elated crowd excitedly counts along with the ref as his hand slaps the canvas... ONNNNNEEE!! TWWWOOOOOOO!! THHHHHHHRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNOOOOO!! “OHHHHHHHHH!!” Magnifico gets a shoulder up! An astonished Cortez glares at the ref, unable to believe that ELM managed to kick out. Todd argues spiritedly with the official, who refuses to change his decision regardless of how virulently Cortez makes his case. “Boy, look how confused and demoralized that Todd Cortez is.” Pete cleverly observes. “The poor soul. Magnifico should just put him out of misery here and now.” “Shut it, Longdogger.” King snaps. “Admittedly, Magnifico’s cutting it a little close here, but you’d do well to observe that Cortez has been unable to garner a pinfall even with his most powerful moves. If you ask me, it’s going to take nothing short of a Riot Act Plus to keep Magnifico on the canvas, and it’s been shown time and time again that Todd simply cannot hit him with that move.” Tired of bickering with the official, Todd begins to wearily climb to his feet, leaving Magnifico motionless on the canvas beneath him. He stands and expressionlessly looks down at his opponent, breathing heavily and appearing to be in deep thought. After a few moments, Cortez slowly reaches down, grabs ELM by the hair, and pulls him off of the mat. An excited murmur rises from the crowd as Todd pulls a kneeling Magnifico into a Standing Head-Scissors, ready to finish him off once and for all. Cortez reaches down, wraps his arms around Magnifico’s waist, and pulls him to his feet, putting him into the starting position for the Riot Act Plus! Their anticipation building by the second, the fans grow louder and louder as Cortez summons the strength to execute the Canadian Destroyer and end this match. Todd takes a deep breath...and then leaps over Magnifico, starting the Riot Act Plus! But as he’s passing over the luchadore’s head, Magnifico suddenly shoots out his hands and uses them to grab Todd’s ankles! Cortez is immediately stopped in mid-air, stuck hanging over ELM’s back and in position for the Double Leg Back Piledriver! “Yeah! What’d I tell you?” King shouts, delighted. “Cortez foolishly went for the Riot Act Plus once more, and Magnifico’s going to counter it just like he did in their first match! The Double Leg Back Piledriver’s going to crack his head right open and put him down for the three count!” However, before Magnifico can execute the Piledriver, Cortez unwraps his arms from around ELM’s waist, then uses his newly-freed limb to reach back and lock Magnifico’s head in a Front Facelock! Todd then kicks his legs and free and throws his body backwards, looking to pull ELM down with him and drive his skull into the canvas with a DDT! However, as Todd’s doing that, Magnifico reaches out with his arms and wraps them around Cortez’s neck, stopping his attempt at a DDT and putting him in position for a Northern Lights Suplex at the same time! However, before he can make good on his hold, Cortez suddenly throws his knee into ELM’s gut, sufficently stunning the luchadore and preventing him from landing the Northern Lights Suplex! “No! Todd tried to reverse Magnifico’s Double Leg Back Piledriver into a DDT, which ELM just attempted to reverse into a Northern Lights Suplex!” Pete breathlessly reports. Moving quickly, Cortez throws Magnifico’s arm over his shoulder and lifts him high into the air as if for a Vertical Suplex...only for ELM to wriggle out of his grip mid-lift, flipping over Todd’s shoulder and landing behind him! Facing the opposite direction as Cortez, Magnifico immediately reaches back and hooks Todd’s arms as if for a Backslide! With Cortez in tow, ELM then makes a break for the nearby corner, the panicked live audience shouting and booing at him as he does so! Paying them no mind, Magnifico runs up the turnbuckles, pushes backwards off of the top one, and flips over Todd’s hand! ELM falls onto his knees, pulling Cortez down with him and violently slamming his face into the canvas with the Baja California Crusher! “YEAH!! Whoo!” King pumps his fist. “What an ending! After trading countless reversals, Magnifico puts Todd down with the Baja California Crusher! Fantastic!” “He hasn’t even attempted a pin yet, King!” Pete counters, irritated at King’s outburst and dismayed at the direction the contest has taken. “Don’t count Cortez out until the match is over.” “Please.” King scoffs. “Only Danny Williams has kicked out of the Crusher, and he was extraordinarily lucky to do that. Todd Cortez is no Danny Williams.” The crowd has been struck almost completely silent, the only sound emanating from the mass of people being an odd curse or shout directed at the luchadore. Barely able to stay on his knees, the supremely exhausted luchadore struggles to keep it together long enough to finish the match. Slowly, wearly, Magnifico grabs Cortez by the shoulder, turns him onto his back...and then falls onto him to make the cover. Neither man moves a muscle as the ref slides into position. The live fans seem to collectively hold their hands over the mouths and silently pray as the ref begins his count... ONE! TWO! THHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!! DING DING DING “Your winner, and STILL, SWF World Heavyweight Champion...” Funyon dutifully announces. “EL LUCHADOOOOOOOOORRE MAGNIFICOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Magnifico rolls off of Cortez and onto the canvas, his eyes closed as a triumphant grin slowly creeps across his face. Dejected and dispirited by what they just saw, the fans begin to empty the mosque, doing so as the referee leaves the ring to fetch the World Heavyweight Title. “Magnifico wins.” Pete reports, crestfallen. “Once again, he came out of nowhere with the Baja California Crusher, which was finally enough to keep the resilient Cortez down for the three count.” “C’mon Pete, cheer up.” King encourages. “By gaining his second singles one against Cortez, Magnifico has just proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s no one in this fed who can touch him. That he’s on a completely different level than everyone else. Surely you can get behind the idea of there being one wrestler for the rest to look up to.” Pete looks thoughtful for a moment. “Y’know, you’re right.” “That’s the spirit. You should - ” King begins. “Because that just makes it all the more satisfying when someone finally puts Magnifico in his place.” Pete finishes, his eyes staring coldly into King’s. Unsure of how to respond, King returns the unsettling glare for a moment before turning his attention back to the ring, which the ref is entering with the belt in his hands. The ref walks up to Magnifico, who slowly opens his eyes and turns towards the official. Smiling softly, ELM reaches out and gently takes the title from the ref’s hands. Magnifico clutches the title and closes his eyes, the grin on his face growing wider and more unsettling as he does so. “That’s it for SWF Ramadomination, ladies and gentlemen.” Pete begins. “Thank you for watching, and Happy Holidays.” The final image broadcasted is that of El Luchadore Magnifico, his eyes closed and a broad grin on his face as he holds the World Heavyweight Title close to his chest ... FADE OUT

“I… WILL… NEVER… QUIT!” YEAAAAAAAAAAH! Johnny’s eyes fly open in astonishment, and his sudden lack of concentration causes him to relax his grip on the half-crab, enabling WC to wriggle free! The Bahama Bomber begins to crawl on his belly towards the edge of the ring, slowly but surely inching away from the Barracuda! “Way to go, Wildchild!” cheers LDP. “That’s telling ‘im, kid!” Wildchild pulls himself along the bottom rope until he reaches the corner. He uses the turnbuckles to help pull himself to his feet as Johnny, only just beginning to recover from the shock of being rebuked, charges over to the corner, but WC lurches out of the corner at the same time, and busts him in the mouth with a flying back elbow! RAAAAAAAAAAH! Wildchild stumbles back to his feet and pulls Johnny over to the corner, where he straddles the middle turnbuckle as he begins to whale away on the Barracuda with a ten-count punch! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! Wildchild winces in pain after completing the ten punches, the sudden movement aggravating his back, and his pause gives Dangerous just enough daylight to carry WC out of the corner, compressing his spine onto the Barracuda’s outstretched thigh with an inverted Atomic Drop! “Tremendous counter on the part of Johnny Dangerous!” praise King. “Look at his eyes, though, MacDougal! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen that look in Johnny’s eyes before!” “I believe that’s called doubt!” replies LDP cheerfully. “I believe that Johnny might actually be starting to think that maybe he can’t really beat Wildchild; that maybe his crusade, and everything he did in the course of screwing Wildchild over and ending Wild and Dangerous wasn’t as righteous as he thought! That maybe he wasn’t justified in his actions after all!” “That’s ridiculous!” says King. “He can’t actually be thinking that… can he?” Johnny exits to the ring apron and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He steadies himself to dive into the ring with a flying attack, but his uncertainty causes him to hesitate. Only a fraction of a second, but more than enough for Wildchild to pop back to his feet and rush over to the corner, grab Dangerous, and heave him off the top rope! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! “I can’t believe it!” shouts King. “Johnny got caught!” “Believe it!” replies Pete. “I’m telling you, King, he’s starting to unravel!” The stress of throwing Johnny from the top turnbuckle sends a tremor through WC’s back which forces him to his knees. Johnny tries desperately to regain control, and charges back into the corner as the Bahaman gets back to his feet… OOF! … Only for WC to greet him with a kick to the midsection! And another! And another! Wildchild fights through the pain in his back as he knocks Johnny away from him. He grabs him by the wrist and whips him across the ring, but Dangerous reverses, sending WC crashing back-first into the exposed turnbuckle! “Oh no!” moans LDP. “Johnny Dangerous just sent Wildchild slamming into that corner where there isn’t any turnbuckle pad! That’s got to be murder on his back!” The Barracuda charges into the corner, leaping into the air to crush WC against the turnbuckle with a flying knee! CRACK! … But the Tropical Tumbler dives out of the way at the last second, and Dangerous slams knee-first into the unprotected metal buckle! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! Johnny limps out of the corner limping and WC capitalizes immediately, kicking him in the back of his injured knee, and knocking him down! RAAAAAAAAAAH! “Johnny Dangerous may have just made a critical mistake!” exclaims LDP, as Wildchild delivers an elbowdrop to Johnny’s knee. “And now Wildchild is going to work on that injured knee!” “Don’t let it end like this!” cries King. “Come on, Johnny, you’ve got to do something!” WC pulls Johnny to his feet and attempts to lift him up into a knee-beaker, but the pain in his back forces him to let go, just as he gets Johnny off the canvas! Dangerous takes full advantage, kicking Wildchild in the midsection stun him before trapping him in a front facelock… BANG! … And driving him face-first into the canvas with a DDT! “There you go!” cheers King. “That’s how you get back into the game… And, look at the eyes, MacDougal! It looks like Johnny’s starting to get some of that swagger back!” Johnny gets to his feet and beckons for Wildchild to rise as he gets down into a menacing Karate stance. “Oh no!” cries Pete. “He’s going for that Johnny Kick! If he hits that, he’ll have Wildchild at his mercy to try what ever method that he can think of to get him to give up!” Johnny dances back and forth on the balls of his feet as he waits for WC to get back to his feet. Without warning, he thrusts his foot forward to deliver the knockout blow! SNAP! … But the Bahama Bomber catches the foot out of the air, and wrenches his leg around, ripping Dangerous through the air with a Dragon-screw leg whip! “Counter!” shrieks Pete. “He countered it!” WC quickly scrambles to his feet and bends over, spinning the shin guard around on his leg, and then whipping his arm through the air in a circle, to the delight of the crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAH! “No, no, no!” pleads King. “Not this!” Wildchild spins Johnny’s leg around his, and then brings the other leg up, locking them together before he falls backwards to the mat! RAAAAAAAAAAH! “The Figure Four!” exclaims Pete. “It’s said that this move puts pressure on seven different points in the leg! After the injury that Johnny’s sustained to his leg, and with the shin guard adding to the effects of the Figure Four, how long will Johnny be able to hold on?” WC pushes up on the mat with one hand and, with the other, beckons for the microphone from Red Herrington. “Say it!” demands Wildchild. “No way,” replies King, taking it upon himself to speak for the Barracuda. “No way he says it!” “Say it!” insists Wildchild. Johnny, nearly overwhelmed with pain, looks into the eyes of his former best friend, and sees nothing but fierce determination staring back at him. “SAY IT!” Wildchild shouts at him again! Johnny Dangerous can clearly, and finally see that he just can’t break Dominic LeCroix And, against such an indomitable will, the Barracuda’s resolve finally fails him… “I… quit…” “That’s it!” shouts Herrington, shouting at the timekeeper to ring the bell! DING! DING! DING! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! “He did it!” exclaims LDP. “By God, he actually did it! He beat Johnny Dangerous!” Slowly, and painfully, Wildchild unravels his legs from Johnny Dangerous’ as his music begins to thump through the arena and the crowd roars to life! Herrington slides over and helps the Bahaman to his feet and then raises his arm into the air while Funyon makes the announcement… “The winner of this match,” booms Funyon, “WIIIIIIIIILDCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD!!” “B-b-but…NO!” roars King. “Why in the hell did Johnny just quit!? He couldn’t have been hurting that bad – all he had to do was roll over and reverse that Figure Four!” “Perhaps, and maybe I’m just trying to hard to see through the lines here,” says Pete, “but maybe it wasn’t the fact that Johnny Dangerous was physically hurting so much as I think it was a battle of wills. In the end, I think that the Barracuda finally realized that he would never break the Wildchild.” “That’s preposterous!” spits King, crossing his arms obstinately. Wildchild pulls his arm away from Herrington, quickly realizing the finite stipulation reserved for the loser of this match. Though he is certainly pleased to have come out with the victory and to keep his career, this is certainly no day he ever wanted to see. He glares regretfully at the downed Barracuda, but only momentarily before Melissa Fasaki races into the ring and wraps her loving arms around Wildchild’s neck, and the Bahama Bomber, after being beaten to the point of exhaustion, finally collapses in her arms, dropping his tired face into her shoulder. “I think this is a match that none of us will ever forget; it brought some tremendous action, some tense moments, and above all it showed us that mind really is over matter,” Pete says. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget this night, that’s for sure!” Finally, Johnny takes his eyes off the lights and starts to get up from the mat. He stops as he gets to his knees and just stares longingly at the canvas covering of the ring. It’s something so simple – something that the Barracuda would have never taken the time to think about…but it’s just one of the many things that he now realizes are gone. Johnny reaches out and gingerly runs his hand across the mat just once then begins to rise all the way up to his feet. “Just look at that, King. Johnny Dangerous’ entire world has just come crashing down for him,” notes Pete. “Right now, it doesn’t matter if you loved him or hated him; you have to give him the respect he deserves for what he did give us and what Johnny Dangerous brought to the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation.” Johnny can’t bear to look at the fans right now. He keeps his focus trained on the floor as he steps through the ropes, onto the outside apron, and then moves down the steel steps. Every step he takes looking more wobbly than the first. “He came into this Federation as a man that was easy to cheer for, but I think I can speak for most of us when I say none of us took him seriously,” continues Pete. “He defied all of that, though, having earned eleven Championships to his name in his career - the accomplishments of Johnny Dangerous will unquestionably stand on their own merit!” Inside the ring, Wildchild lifts his head up from Melissa’s shoulder and he watches as his former tag team partner slowly heads up the entrance ramp. “On top of all that,” says Pete, “I want to give my thanks to the Barracuda for giving us his all every night, and I am proud to have been able to comment on the matches throughout his career from this broadcast booth.” At the top of the ramp Johnny stops. The curtains leading to backstage have been drawn open only a few feet in front of him… His Final Exit… He realizes that this is it, and that he will never live it again. Slowly he turns back towards the crowd and, more importantly, back towards Wildchild, who is still inside the ring with Melissa. Johnny looks towards them as they look back, and then the Barracuda’s attention is taken by the crowd: The entire audience is on their feet. Not cheering. Not jeering. Not even chanting. But simply applauding. Simply applauding a man for his career. In a sudden moment of clarity, Johnny finally understands and appreciates the recognition of the fans that have followed him for his years in the SJL and the SWF. With a sorrowful tear running down his cheek, Johnny nods his head to the crowd, raising his arm out to them in salute, and then inclines his head towards the ring. He nods, acknowledging the man who just beat him before dropping his arm to his side and turning an about face, back towards the curtains. Taking one last, deep breath, Johnny takes one step forward and then another. Finally, he heads through the curtains, and Johnny Dangerous, the Barracuda, disappears from the SWF forever… As We: FADE OUT.