my favorite conspiracy theory:
Squirrels aren't real animals. A while ago the government, in collaberation with the oil companies, discovered that acorns can be processed into a cheaper and more efficient fuel. But since they didn't want to do anything that would let the people know, since if the people knew then there would be independent labs or whatever making acorn fuel in no time, they decided to breed a new "animal" that was genetically programmed to gather acorns and store them at specifically designated drop zones so that government agents could collect them more covertly at a later time. So the government is using the acorn fuel for their own uses, and they're keeping it a secret so that oil companies can continue to raise gas prices. And the oil companies are also using the acorn fuel, but they're processing it in a way to make it no more efficient, but still cheaper to make, so they're making even more money off of it.