Mystery Eskimo

We come back to see JR sneaking around a corner backstage. As he disappears from view, there's a sudden CRASH! The camera pans around the corner to see JR flat on his back, with none other than G Money standing over him! MONEY Lovely, a trophy for a Christmas present. I'll just get the 3 count- Money drops onto JR, and counts it himself! "One!" "Two!" Out of nowhere, JINGUS appears, and heaves Money off JR with a massive hand! MONEY Bloody hell, you monstrosity! Get your hands off me! JINGUS ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! JINGUS grabs Money for a CLAWSLAM, but Money counters with the traditional offence to JINGUS off a KNEE TO THE GROIN! JINGUS collapses, groaning, but as Money turns, JR is nowhere to be seen! MONEY Slippery bugger. Now- Money turns, straight into the chest of a rightened JINGUS. Money gulps. We cut to JR, making his way outside to the parking lot. JR Fans, I figure if I stay in my truck for the rest of the night, I'll be safe! BAH GAWD, I'll get Dan Black for this...but now, we have another piece of footage from the past- this one is the very first IntenseZone match of 2003! And strangely enough, it features Mystery Eskimo, taking on the Superstar in a match that ended very strangely... SUPERSTAR vs. MYSTERY ESKIMO Special Guest Referee:OAOAST World Champion ANGLESAULT "a...W...o" echoes through the arena, just before Aerosmith's "Dream On" begins to play. Clad in a red and white striped referee shirt, with a blue star in the middle, is the OAOAST World Champion Anglesault. AS makes his way down to the ring amidst many boos and heckles. AS stops to confront several ringside fans who aren't afraid to show their true feelings, then enters the ring. "Ice Ice Baby" plays loud and clear, and one half of the former World Tag Team Champions, the one and only Mystery Eskimo, makes his way to the ring. Eskimo can not be happy with the way things went down as far as losing the World Tag Titles, and gives AS a glare as he enters the ring. "Ice Ice Baby" fades out, and the thunderous sound of "Downfall" blares through the speakers, igniting a large pop from the crowd. Coming into view at the top of the ramp, and making his way to the ring, it's The Superstar! SS powerwalks down to the ring, stepping through the ropes and saluting the fans that he's once again won over. As the lights come back on, the camera focuses on Superstar and AS staring each other down. SS switches his attention to ME, and they begin to circle the ring as the bell rings. Lockup, and SS grabs a headlock, and IMMEDIATELY AS starts examining the hold as if SS is doing something wrong. ME tries to counter with a back suplex, but SS holds on and shifts his weight so that he doesn't go. Anglesault comes over and shoves SS off of ME, then makes a "choking" gesture, and says "None of that!" SS looks increduously at AS, only to be schoolboyed by ME...AS with a FAST count...2 Count only! SS gets up, and takes over a charging ME with an arm drag. He dodges another charge by sidestepping ME and sending him into the ropes. SS tries for a hiptoss, but it's blocked by ME...counter by ME, as he tries one of his own...SS counters that by kicking ME in the gut and carrying him over with a butterfly suplex! As Eskimo gets up, SS jumps up on his shoulders, as if to take him down with a huracanrana, but Eskimo throws him back to the mat, only to have Superstar land on his feet...Eskimo takes him out of his boots with a stiff lariat! Stomps follow, as ME is taking it to the fallen Superstar, all to the approval of the official, Anglesault. Eskimo stands Superstar up, and unleashes a chop that makes the whole arena shake. Superstar staggers back, and again takes a chop that everyone must have felt. Eskimo kicks SS, and quickly snaps him over with a snap suplex. Eskimo taunts SS a bit, then goes to pick him back up...SMALL PACKAGE BY SUPERSTAR...ANGLESAULT IS CHECKING HIS WATCH??!?!?! AS gets into position...1 count only! JR:"Unbiased officiating my ass!" Jesse:"He was checking the time, Ross. Common mistake?" JR:"Right, just like the new aWo official, Angle-Won Olympics? I suppose he and Anglesault went to the same referee school, right?" Jesse:"They have referee school?" JR:"Ah, forget it." Superstar is staggering Eskimo with punches, and as he goes for the final shot, Anglesault steps in front of him to block the shot for Mystery Eskimo! AS makes the "closed fist" gesture, and warns Superstar, who has got to be nearing the boiling point already. Superstar threatens to hit Anglesault, who smugly points to his chin and dares Superstar to hit him. SS instead runs past AS, charging ME who is leaning on the ropes...ME ducks, and SS gets backdropped over the top rope to the floor! AS starts the count, and is counting rather quickly. As he gets to the count of 5 (in about 2 seconds "real time"), he notices Eskimo's partner, the monster JINGUS, heading down the aisle. Anglesault IMMEDIATELY turns to Eskimo and appears to be "occupied" with him, and decides to frisk him for weapons at that point! While AS is supposedly troubleshooting, JINGUS comes to ringside and picks Superstar up, bearhugging him and then ramming his lower back into the apron! Superstar yells in pain, only for JINGUS to repeat the move! With AS still not looking, JINGUS rolls Superstar into the ring, leaving him easy prey for Eskimo. Eskimo goes for the cover on Superstar, and AS again slaps the mat as fast as humanly possible, but SS keeps his senses about him and sticks his foot up on the bottom rope. Eskimo stands up and starts stomping away at Superstar, kicking him out of the ring and to the floor, right in front of JINGUS again. JINGUS stares down at the fallen body of SS, and picks him up, then pulls him in and nails him with a short arm clothesline. JINGUS grabs Superstar and sets him up in powerbomb position, when Anglesault turns around and catches JINGUS in the act! JR:"FINALLY! No AS has no reason not to disqualify Eskimo!" Anglesault slides out of the ring, and calmy questions JINGUS' intentions. AS is heard saying "You want him that badly?", only to have the huge monster nod "yes". AS walks over to the timekeepers table, and takes the mic from the announcer. AS:"In the interest of fairness, since JINGUS seems to want to be involved, I, as an upstanding official, am now declaring this to be a handicap match!" JR:"WHAT?" Jesse:"You can't be satisfied, can you Ross?" JINGUS smiles a wicked smile, then picks Superstar back up, this time by the head. JINGUS wraps his huge hand around Superstar's forehead, and prepares for a CLAWSLAM on the floor, when all of a sudden...IT'S ZACK! ZACK MALIBU IS HERE! Zack sprints down the ramp and LEAPS at JINGUS, his scheduled opponent for later on! Zack unloads a flurry of punches on the big man, but as he prepares to deliver the final blow, he turns and nails an oncoming Eskimo! Anglesault looks on in disgust, then rolls out under the bottom rope and storms back over to the announcer. AS:"Malibu! You can't wait until later on to take on JINGUS, and you know what, he shouldn't have to do double duty just for your sorry ass anyhow! This is a tag match, starting NOW!" JR:"Well I'll be, a good call, finally!" What started as The Superstar vs. Mystery Eskimo has now evolved into a tag team contest, pitting the former World Tag Team Champions against the Leader of The In Crowd and his former stablemate! Superstar rolls Eskimo in, while a dazed JINGUS and a hyped up Zack Malibu take their spots on the apron. Superstar has a headlock locked on Eskimo, then switches to a hammerlock and finally grabs Eskimo by both legs and takes him down to the mat face first. Superstar looks to grab an armbar, but Eskimo slips free, then he looks to try a Frostbite Facelock, but Superstar slips out. Superstar grabs the right leg of Eskimo and drags him more towards the center of the ring, but then Eskimo rolls onto his back and kicks Superstar away with his left leg. Eskimo uses his arm to sweep Superstar's legs out from under him, then he tries an elbow as SS lands, but SS rolls out of the way, then pops up and tries an elbow of his own, only to have Eskimo dodge that. Eskimo gets to his feet, and kicks Superstar in the side of the head as he's getting up. Eskimo goes for an Irish Whip, then puts his head down to set up for a back bodydrop...Superstar leapfrogs over him, then tries for a rollup...Anglesault is AGAIN slow in making the count...Eskimo kicks out, and as Superstar heads towards the ropes, JINGUS pulls down the top rope, causing Superstar to spill to the floor! Anglesault goes over to Zack and starts mouthing at him for no reason, telling him not to dare go and get inolved while he's not legal. Of course, this is the perfect set-up for JINGUS and Eskimo to do some double-teaming, as JINGUS rams SS' head into the apron, leaving him prone to a baseball slide by Eskimo. JINGUS rolls Superstar back in, then takes him and starts choking him on the bottom ropes. Eskimo pulls Superstar away from the ropes and goes for a pin, convieniently just as AS turns away from Zack...2 COUNT ONLY! SUPERSTAR KICKS OUT! Eskimo slaps the mat, frustrated that Superstar won't give in that easily. He pulls him up to his feet, and sets him up for the Blizzard Bomb...NO! Superstar elbows Eskimo to free himself, then kicks him in the gut...desperation DDT! Superstar and Eskimo both lay on the mat. Eskimo starts sliding towards his corner, as SS is doing his best to make the tag to Zack. AS is keeping an eye on both guys...SUPERSTAR TAGS ZACK! Zack goes running for Eskimo, but Anglesault gets in the way! Zack tries shoving AS aside, but AS gets in his face about how he can DQ Zack...JINGUS gets tagged! He runs in with a big boot to Zack as Anglesault jaws with him, then pulls him up and wraps his hands around Zack's throat, choking him and forcing him back into the corner. As he releases the hold to slam a forearm down into Zack's chest, Zack ducks out of the way at the last second, leaving JINGUS to slam down on the top turnbuckle! JINGUS turns, right into a flurry of punches from Zack that leave him dazed in the corner, as Zack backs up...RUNNING KNEELIFT IN THE CORNER! JINGUS slumps down a bit, and Zack pulls him up, then tries for a Tornado DDT, only to get thrown off! Zack lands on his feet, and JINGUS moves towards him, not seeing Superstar perched on the turnbuckle behind him...MISSLE DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF JINGUS' HEAD...RIGHT INTO A MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER BY ZACK! Malibu goes for the cover, but rather than count, AS starts ushering Superstar out of the ring and chastising him! As they argue, Eskimo runs in and pulls Zack up off JINGUS and nails the Iceberg Drop, his very own version of Zack's POP Drop! JINGUS covers Zack, and Anglesault turns to make the count, only to have Superstar run back in and grab JINGUS' leg, breaking up the pinfall! Anglesault and his rival Superstar start jawjacking, and it's only a matter of seconds before they come to blows. Just as tensions are about to boil over, AS gets nailed from behind by Zack, and bumps into Superstar! JINGUS had tried tossing Zack into the ropes, but AS stepped in the way! Zack falls back, as AS rolls under the bottom rope and to the floor, while SS lay dazed in the corner. JINGUS grabs the weary Malibu, and prepares him for his finisher, The Clawslam. As JINGUS' signals for it, Zack tries to pry his hand free, but to no avail...but SS is getting up in the background...GHETTO BLASTER~! to JINGUS! The enzugiri kick dazes the big man, and he lets go of Zack, stumbling around...JINGUS walks into School's Out by Zack! The big man falls to one knee via Zack's signature move, and both Superstar and Zack look at each other, then each grabs JINGUS...DOUBLE SUPLEX TAKES HIM OVER! THE RING SHOOK ON THAT ONE! The crowd pops huge, as the big man is flat on his back! Eskimo comes charging in, but Zack sidesteps him and tosses him right back out, over the top rope and to the floor! With Eskimo dazed on the outside, Zack heads up top, and waits on him...FLYING BODYPRESS TO THE FLOOR!!! Zack wipes out Eskimo! Meanwhile, Superstar has JINGUS pinned, but Anglesault is nowhere to be found. Superstar sees him laying on the outside, and yells at him to get off his ass and come make the count. As Superstar is yelling, JINGUS slowly recovers in the background, like a horror movie villain rising again. Angelsault rolls into the ring, but it looks like he's holding something...it's his SLEDGE! AS stands up, his back to Superstar, but then he turns and swings...AND HITS JINGUS! THE BIG MAN FALLS LIKE A TON OF BRICKS! SUPERSTAR WAS READY FOR HIM! AS and SS have a staredown, and AS GETS SPEARED BY MALIBU! Zack rushes in to save SS from a sledge shot, then grabs the sledge himself! Zack holds it up for all to see, and takes a shot...AS DUCKS, and SUPERSTAR GETS HIT! SS rolls under the bottom rope, holding his forehead, which is now dripping blood. Angelsault hits a lowblow on Zack, then blasts HIM in the forehead with a sledge shot, sending Zack staggering back and falling through the ropes. Eskimo, Superstar and Zack all lay on the floor, wounded during the course of this battle, as the monster JINGUS lay on the mat in the center of the ring. Anglesault surveys the damage around him, and walks around the ring, clutching the sledge in one hand and making a count with the other hand. Not one of the three men on the floor are able to answer the 10 count, however, and AS calls for the bell. He requests the mic from the announcer to make the official decision, then pushes the poor guy off the apron after he hands it to him. AS:"Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a countout...I always knew this guy was a winner..." AS grabs JINGUS by the arm, raising it in victory while at the same time pulling the big guy to his knees. AS then drops the mic, and CRACKS JINGUS in the head with the sledge!! Anglesault looks down at the fallen bodies around him, then simply shrugs and walks off, clutching his trusty sledge in his right hand. COMMERCIALS

::The camera cuts to the Lightning Crew dressing room. The crowd boos the moment Puerto Rican Lightning is shown. PRL is lying in his dressing room with a look of fear on his face. Chants of “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” are heard. Tha Puerto Rican cuddles a pillow as if it was a baby while the rest of the Lightning Crew look at him. There is a Christmas tree in the room with Christmas decorations all over. Presents are lying around with Colombian Heat checking one of them. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who is wearing a Santa Claus hat and a tight sexy black dress with black heels and a gold chair around her right arm, sits right next to Lightning and rolls her fingers through his long hair.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: Cappa is going to kill me. Cappa is going to kill me. Cappa is going to kill me. Cappa is going to kill me. Cappa is going to kill me. Cappa is going to kill me. Cappa is going to kill me. Cappa is going to kill me. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez: It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. This Sunday, you WILL defeat The Mad Cappa and you will walk out of the arena, still the OaOasT North American Champion. Vitamin X: Don’t worry boss. Don’t be afraid. The Mad Cappa is not in your league. You can kick his ass with one arm tied behind your back. I believe in you boss. Thomas Rodriguez: Ain’t no sweat, boss. You are the greatest. You are the best wrestler who ever lived and the longest reigning NA Champion in OaOasT history. You can do it. You’ve defeated “Shooter” Jay Darring. You’ve defeated The Blurricane. You’ve defeated The Mad Cappa before. You can do it again, boss. I believe in you. Cuban Wall: Boss, there ain’t no one, and I mean NO ONE who is in your league, P.R. Cappa is just an imitator, a wannabe, a pathetic loser. YOU are the real deal. YOU are the man. YOU are the best. YOU are the real People’s Champion. You are Tha Puerto Rican. You are the best. Cappa has no chance in hell of defeating you this Sunday at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. You will send Cappa packing once again. You will end his career this Sunday. He talks about you getting yours. This Sunday, he will be getting his. Mr. Boricua: You…Puerto Rican…. best wrestler. Ever. You rule. Cappa. Not. In. League. Cappa. Not PRL. Cappa. Loser. PRL. Good. Cappa…jerk. PRL….friend. PRL. Best Champion ever. Cappa will lose on Sunday. Mr. Boricua believes in you. PRL will beat The Mad Cappa. You rule. Boricua will let you do him if you want. That’s how much Mr. Boricua loves you. Colombian Heat: Is it possible to burn a CD without a CD Burner? ::The crowd laughs. Cuban Wall groans and shakes his head.:: Cuban Wall: What does that have to do with anything? Colombian Heat: I was just wondering if I don’t receive a CD Burner for Christmas this year. Cuban Wall: Shouldn’t you be concentrating on something more important, like say, making your best friend happy? Colombian Heat: I just was wondering if there was any other method to burning a CD other than a CD Burner. Cuban Wall: P.R., can I just knock out Colombian Heat? Just once? Just one punch. Come on, man! Give me one shot. Just one! Colombian Heat: Why you hatin’, man? We in this together, G! We Lightning Crew 4-Life, bro. We in this FO’ the Lightning, mang. Viva La Rassa~! And all that shit. We may not be tight like Eminem and 50 Cent, but we gots to be workin’ wit each other, if we want the Lightning Crew to survive and Puerto Rican Lightning to be king for a long time. We gots to anticipate-cooperate-obliterate-the-haterade-being-spouted-by-these-chickenheaded-pussy-foot-pussy-whipped-ain’t-that-a-bitch? We gots to annihilate the competition. We gots to stand together in the game of life and say, we’re not going to take this shit. We gots to say, “We’re the best.” And we gots to say “Watch out! If ya’ll f*** wit us, we are gonna kick Yo’ ass. Ya’ll better not f*** wit us, homies. Cuz we are the best, and the rest all suck, so let’s all jet and find a good woman to— Puerto Rican Lightning: DON’T SAY IT! Colombian Heat: Okay. Okay. Cuban Wall: I hate you so much. Colombian Heat: Don’t be hatin’. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez: Guys, guys. Remember what we are here for. Colombian Heat: I forget. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez (rolling her eyes; sighing): (Quietly): You forget a lot, you idiot. (Loudly): We’re here because Christmas is coming up and to celebrate, we’re going to have a Lightning Crew Christmas Party! We got presents, we got music, we got decorations. And we’re doing this all to cheer up our loveable Puerto Rican Lightning. ::Lindsay kisses PRL:: Now, let’s get to it. P.R., get your mind off of The Mad Cappa for just one night. Tonight is a night of celebration. It’s Christmas time, cheer up. You may have to face Cappa this Sunday, but you still got time to party! Colombian Heat: Alright! We’re going to party like it’s…uh…what year is it? Cuban Wall: 2003. Colombian Heat: Right! 2003! Whoo! Party down! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! ::Colombian Heat puts the stereo on to hip-hop music. Wall begins to dance like an idiot while Cuban Wall looks on in disgust. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez starts bringing presents out from under the Christmas tree, while Vitamin X goes to get some beer. The rest of the Lightning Crew gather around and begin to open presents. Puerto Rican Lightning finally awakens from his trance and looks at the presents. At first, he is a little hesitant, but he begins opening up some presents.:: ::Cut to backstage with Jim Ross.:: JR: Well, the Lightning Crew sure are in the Christmas mood. It’s Christmas Eve and we got a great show ahead for you tonight. We will be checking back with the Lightning Crew throughout the night. It sure looks to be interesting. Fans, don’t go away. We will be right back with the special Christmas Eve edition of IntenseZone. Don’t go away! JR looks both ways, and runs off down a corridor COMMERCIALS ::Commercials::

We come back to JR, slumped against a wall, panting. JR Well fans...that was one of the OAOAST's most... memorable matches...and this year's BBB will be just as....memor- ARGH! JR jumps up as Plushy Al Logan appears, brandishing a bottle of baby oil! JR shrieks with fright and runs down a side corridor. JR Let's....go somewhere else! Quick! (Backstage Robert Edwards and Judas are sitting in a locker room.) JUDAS I know that you’re the one taking out all the Blurri-Rangers. You won’t get away with this. ROBERT And what are you going to do about it?? You can’t do a thing and you can’t prove it was me. JUDAS One of these days you’ll get what’s coming to you. ROBERT You’re right…I’m going to get power and money. It’s all coming to me! Now as for you…what’s coming to you is a match at the PPV. JUDAS What??? ROBERT You must prove to me that you’re really with us. So you’ll be facing The Blurricane at the PPV! You must face him or you will get nothing of what we promised and all that we’ve threatened. JUDAS Fine… ROBERT Good. (Fade Out)

Benoit is 36. I remember looking it up earlier in the year when some idiot was saying you could tell Benoit was using steroids because he was losing his hair...

That tag match just screams Raw main event. Rock-Orton would be much better, for the point of view of getting Randy over and Rocky might squeeze a semi-decent match out of him.

If we're doing * ratings, I'm going to go with **1/2. Anyone have a DUD?

There's a PPV this sunday, write a segment for that!

Pretty contrasting. Mostly boredom, interspersed with some moments that were really really great. Need more fun in 2004.

Benoit/Jericho vs HHH/Austin

Yep, that'll be fine. If you could get everything to me by the end of Tuesday that'd be great.

Back from the break, we see JR, in his Santa gear, running down the corridor, sack in hand! JR BAH- *pant* BAH- *puff* GAWD! Next....next....*pant* a special...from the Vault segment...the main event...*puff* of Bloody, Battered, and Beaten.... 2002....Enjoy! From the Vault Last Man Standing Big Poppa Popick vs. Tony The Body "Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is a Last Man Standing match, with a time limit of sixty minutes! Introducing first, not only the mind and soul of the OaOasT, it's founding member and former Executive Vice-President of Talent Relations, he is the oldest active wrestler on today's roster, the man, the myth, the legend of Tony the Body!" ::Simply Ravishing starts low and builds to a crescendo as a blue and gold curtain of sparkles falls down on the AngleTron stage. Tony the Body steps out from behind the falling pyro to the roar of the expectant crowd.:: JR: “Well, you know this has to be a special match for it to go on after that exciting OaOasT Title match” JESSE: “Certainly, and you know who I'm pulling for in this match! I even gave the old codger some pointers about that chump BPP before the match.” JR: “Been reviewing some old tapes have we?” JESSE: “Certainly! I want to see the best man win.” JR: “Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you there. BPP has been instrumental in reforming the In-Crowd and keeping at least some law and order around here.” JESSE: “Quit with the verbal blowjobs JR. You're just betting on a job. I'm betting on a man.” "And now ladies and gentleman, introducing his opponent, the former two-time, two-time, two-time OaOasT North American Television Champion, the former leader of the Deadly Alliance, current In-Crowd member, your very own OaOasT commissioner. the sweetness that is Big Poppa Popick!" ::Awww Naww plays as the arena darkens all around save one spotlight on the AngleTron ramp. A shower of white sparks flys up from the ramp floor, and BPP enters clad in trenchcoat and hat to bathe in the shower of light. All the fans stay on their feets and chant for BPP has he makes his way down, a slight smile returning to his lips for the first time in a few months. Perhaps finally accepting Zack as a true friend and partnering with him has had a profound effect on the once sullen BPP, or maybe his newly found religious revival is explanation enough.:: BPP meets Tony in the ring, both clad in their ring gear. Walking toe to toe, they each take off their gear slowly, allowing one very nervous referee time to toss the clothes out of the ring and onto the floor. JR: “BPP has the strangest look of peace right now, much different from the seething rage Tony grimaces.” JESSE: “I bet he's high on something.” JR: “Well the fans seem to appreciate it!” JESSE: “Shut up JR, can't you see they're about to go at it!” The bell rings, and a small counter starts running down the time. 60:00 BPP and Tony walk out from their corners, like the boxers of old. They meet face to face, nose to nose, walking slowly around each other. All the fans hold their breath, waiting for the events to explode. Slowly, BPP takes one step back, and extends his clenched hands, keeping to the feel of such a big match. Tony looks around the arena, questioning whether or not to accept BPP's gesture of competition. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Tony touches his clenched fists to BPP, and then walks backward into his corner. BPP does the same. Both men collapse in their corners, staring. 58:00 BPP is the first up, and Tony follows his lead. They circle, slowly, searching for an opening and sizing each other up for any potential weaknesses. Tony darts in for a quick jab which misses. BPP steps back and throws a right, missing but not by much. Tony tries to sneak a left in as BPP recoils, but BPP crosses his left hand to dodge and grab Tony's left wrist, pulling him back into a side hammerlock. Tony grabs BPP's neck with his right hand and flips forward, dumping BPP overhead. BPP lands on his feet and goes for a a foot sweep, which Tony jumps over. Coming down, Tony looks to hit BPP with a falling right, but BPP rolls to miss, and kips up to monkey toss Tony, who lands on his feet. They turn around to the applause of the crowd, both men still yet having to hit any blow on the other. JR: “Good sound technical wrestling to start off. Not what I expected.” JESSE: “That's right, they've decided to feel each other out for any potential weaknesses. It looks like they're evenly matched.” 55:00 Both men start to circle again, and finally the fans begin to relax into their seats. This contest looks to be a long one. Tony and BPP meet in a collar/elbow lock-up, battling for position circling along the ring ropes, both avoiding the turnbuckle corners. BPP finally pulls Tony into a turnbuckle, but steps back as the ref demands a clean break. They step back to the middle and lock-up again, BPP reversing into a hammerlock yet again, Tony grabs out and clasps one of his own, which BPP turns into a fireman's carry into a headlock on the mat! JR: “BPP gets the first offensive move in.” JESSE: “It's not who's gets the first move but who gets the last JR.” Tony struggles to get out of the headlock. It looks like BPP has it locked in pretty good, alot of weight and pressure across the back. Tony gives up trying to power out and just slides across to grab the ropes. Once again, BPP lets go for a clean break. JESSE: “I may not like him, but a good headlock is a perfect move to wear out Tony's neck as a setup to either BPP's deliverance or Fallen Angel as they both focus on on the neck and lower back.” JR: “Wow, thats the first time I actually agree with you tonight.” 52:00 Tony clenches his neck as he gets up, realizing BPP has chosen that particular body spot to focus in on. He closes up his stance a bit, bouncing more off the knees and lowering his center of gravity. BPP remains circling around in his mixed martial arts/grappling style. The meet again, but Tony grabs a punch attempt by BPP and fires two quick rights into BPP's midsection before following it up with a knee to the stomach. BPP goes down to a three point stance to try and catch his breath, but Tony uses BPP's position to sidestep and pick him up, and take him down across the knee with a gutbuster. JESSE: “Now that's old school right there. Simple but effective.” Tony maintains his hold and pulls BPP up into an abdominal stretch, slapping it on in the middle of the ring. It's evident BPP is still tender in that area from recent chairshots, and no doubt there is still lingering injuries from the King of the Deathmatch from two months ago, making that area very tender. JR: “Both BPP and Tony have come in here with a plan. BPP, knowing Tony's history, is targeting his neck, while Tony is going for the tender stomach of BPP.” JESSE: “It's proof that both these wrestlers understand just what wrestling is all about, picking apart your opponents.” In the meantime, Tony has kept BPP in the stretch by nailing several open palm shots to his stomach in an attempt to increase the pain. BPP makes attempts to bowl over, the first two end with Tony pulling BPP back up into the stretch. BPP bowls over a third time causing Tony to pull harder. BPP uses the momentum to float up and over, twisting into an inverted DDT that looked to hit at a sharp angle. Both men stay down on the mat. JR: “BPP countered with a ddt to the neck and head of Tony. Both men are going to take advantage of this first break to size up each other.” Sure enough, the referee administers an 8 count before both men get up in their corners. JESSE: “They both couldve gotten up sooner, but like you said JR, this was a perfect opportunity for them to see how their strategies are going.” JR: “I bet they're going to pull out the stops now, its already twelve minutes into the match.” 48:00 BPP and Tony come out of their corners, the crowd rising to their feet again. BPP charges and spears Tony, using his momentum to hit a twisting legdrop across Tony's neck. Tony rolls away and to the ropes, preventing any further attack, while BPP poses on the second rope to the delight of the crowd. Tony takes advantage of BPP's cheeriness and strikes him from behind with forearms to the back, then grasping hold of BPP's torso and hitting him with a release german suplex. BPP lands on his stomach and groans in pain. 45:00 Tony rolls over and putts BPP into a stretch muffler for about 10 seconds, dropping him down whilst nailing an knee to the gut. Tony goes for a senton splash, but BPP pulls his knees up to prevent further damage. Tony feels the impact and rolls on his gut, pulling himself up on the ropes. He turns around and right into a superkick~! from BPP. Tony gets caught in the ropes ala Foley! As Tony struggles for air, BPP runs the turnbuckle, twists around to face Tony, and jumps for a Harlem Hangover! Tony's body flips back into the ring and he flops into unconsciousness. JR: “We've got our first solo count of the evening.” JESSE: “Get up Tony! Shake it off!” Tony stirs around 6, and gets up at 9. Tony turns to stare at BPP, who actually was getting boos for his actions when Tony obviously was in serious trouble. Tony charges and dropkicks BPP's knee, following the momentum with a heel kick to BPP's head, which misses and Tony winds up pulled up into a wheelbarrow bomb! BPP collapses on his hurt knee though, and both men work their way back to their feet, this time hurt in different areas. 41:00 BPP shakes his leg a few times as Tony hunkers back down into a low-center fighting stance. They meet back up and lock-in, Tony using the fact that he has two good legs to his advantage, backing BPP into a turnbuckle. The ref calls for a clean break, but instead Tony irish whips BPP into the far turnbuckle, running behind for a hard running knee strike. JR: “Tony's back to targeting BPP's stomach” JESSE: “Think we'll find out what BPP had for lunch?” Tony hops to the second rope on the turnbuckle and grabs BPP into a Dragon sleeper. Rather though than hold that in, Tony jumps off to a Diamond Dust! BPP flops around selling the injury, rolling to the outside to take a breather. Tony follows and hits a clubbing fist to BPP's back, and then with some shots to the kidneys, BPP drops to one knee. Tony the straight kicks the back of BPP's head, bowling him over clutching that area with both hands. As he rolls around, Tony leaps to the ring apron, and comes running off with a Savage elbow right to BPP's stomach! Tony recovers and picks BPP up by his hair, rolling him into the ring, demanding the referee counts BPP pulls himself up by the ropes after a five count. Tony walks over to grab BPP from behind, but BPP's uncanny sixth sense kicks in with a round-house enziguri as Tony nears! With Tony stunned, BPP locks in for a back suplex, high angle style! Tony's dropped on his neck once again! 37:00 JR: “Simple but effective, holding someone like that does serious damage.” JESSE: “BPP's trying to make it so Tony just gives up from the pain.” JR: “Sounds like someone's approving of his gameplan.” JESSE: “It's sound, but its going to take alot more to get Tony to quit!” The referee administers a count until Tony is able to make it back up, clutching his neck trying to rub some feeling back into it. BPP pushes Tony to the ropes, then the song of "Whoo!" clearly sounds across the arena as BPP chops the upper chest of Tony. BPP goes to whip Tony, but Tony holds on and comes back with a knee to the gut. Quickly, Tony pulls BPP into a suplex, and drops him over the top rope! BPP gets flipped back in, and before he can recover in any way, Tony mounts him for a 5 count of punches to the midsection and kidneys. JESSE: “There ya go Tony!” 34:00 Tony props BPP up on the ropes and dashes to the far end, running back for a spear to BPP's stomach! BPP staggers forward and Tony responds by hitting a faceplant. BPP rolls over and his hurt stomach is exposed. Tony looks to the crowd and hops onto the closest turnbuckle. FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH!!! No! BPP kips-up and hits a spinning heel kick to Tony's head. Both men are down! JESSE: “Tony went for it all there.” JR: “But BPP countered and what a move! Even his counters are hitting Tony's neck!” JESSE: “Can either man answer the 10 count?” Jesse's question is answered as both men regain a vertical base at an 8 count. BPP is the better of the two, and immediately grabs Tony in a facing full nelson choke JR: “Looks like BPP is going for his Synchronicity Bomb.” BPP picks Tony up, but there's a struggle at the top as Tony vices BPP's stomach with his legs. BPP drops Tony down, and Tony picks BPP up. OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! JESSE: “That's it!” BPP lies down and fallen as Tony collapses to the ropes. We get another count, this time it hits eight before BPP pulls himself up JR: “That might have done it, but Tony has been concentrating on BPP's stomach, not his back. Perhaps a better game-plan would have been in order.” 30:00 Tony realizes why his finisher didn't work, and we see him fussing around the ring. BPP drops back down, selling his bad knee from earlier, but as Tony gets close, BPP leg sweeps Tony and in the same motion, grabs Tony's right arm and puts on a Crossface right in the middle of the ring! JR: “That Crossface really works on the neck!” JESSE: “I have to admit this, BPP has come in with a great game-plan, totally wearing Tony's neck out, which works for both of his finishers.” JR: “Can Tony adapt his to target the stomach?” JESSE: “I guess we'll find that out.” It seems like an eternity, but was only about 2 minutes. BPP finally breaks the crossface on Tony, handstanding into a legdrop onto Tony's neck. BPP decides this isn't enough, and pulls Tony up, once again holding Tony with a facing Full-Nelson. This time he connects...Synchronicity Bomb! JR: “BPP didn't get as much of that as he wanted. His back is hurting from the spinebuster.” JESSE: “That was Tony's plan! Ha! BPP has to have a strong back to pull off his moves. Tony's Out of Body Experience has weakened that! What strategy.” JR: “You may have a point there.” JESSE: “I always have a point.” Tony gets to his feet at 8, and we see a smile crack across his face. BPP scowls and pushes Tony down to the second rope, head draped across the ring-rope. BPP with a running leg splash on Tony's back. But BPP drops down, holding his knee in pain. Both men take a five count to get back up 25:00 Both men seem weary to attack at this stage, the toll of the long match beginning to wear down the endurance both men have gained in training. They circle each other again, BPP this time dancing in and out, his youth an obvious advantage now. Tony is squared up, moving slowly but with calculated purpose. BPP connects with a soft kick to the shin and slightly harder kick to Tony's gut. Small and quick twisting ddt, but Tony slips out at the last minute, back-rolling and catching a suprised BPP with a kick to his back. BPP is stunned, and Tony picks BPP up into a bearhug! JR: “The move may be boring, but in this match, its a great move for Tony to lock-in.” JESSE: “It hurts BPP's back, ribs, and stomach.” BPP slowly begins to fade after about a minute of being in the hold. Tony then drops BPP down, and then picks him up and hits him with a second Out Of Body Experience! BPP is left crumpled at that attack. The referee begins to count to 10. At three, BPP stirs, his head hitting the bottom rope. At 5 BPP begins to slide his feet to the ring apron. At 7, he slips under the rope. At 9, he drops off the ring apron and stands up, supported by the ring. JR: “BPP used the ring to make the 10 count.” JESSE: “Dammit! If only he had been farther from the ropes.” Tony charges with a baseball slide kick, which BPP barely sidesteps. Tony slides out of the ring and into BPP's right palm. In desperation, BPP pounds Tony's head against the ring apron repeatedly. The ref demands the action be brought back into the ring, and BPP rolls Tony in, following in afterwards. 20:00 ::Twenty minutes left in this match, Twenty minutes:: Tony groggily stands up, and BPP sends several throat thrusts his way. Tony's throat turns red. Faster than anyone thought possible, BPP twists across Tony's chest and shoulders...modified stunner! JR: “Perhaps that's a prelude to BPP's Deliverance?” JESSE: “Whatever it’s named this week.” Tony sells like a drunken Scott Hall. BPP hits rights to send Tony back into the turnbuckle, pulling him up to a sitting position on the top rope. BPP scales as the crowd rises to its feet. Top Rope Tiger Driver! ::Crowd chants "Holy shit":: JR: “Now there's a move that's old school BPP.” JESSE: “Tony's too near the ropes those. He'll use those.” Sure enough, Tony uses the ropes to pull himself up after taking full advantage of the 10 count, getting on his feet at nine. The crowd meets him with applause. 15:00 ::Fifteen minutes left in this match, Fifteen minutes:: BPP charges into Tony, beginning to abandon the methodical pace of the match thus far. Snap Suplex, and then another one to Tony, finishing the sequence with a stalling high angle suplex. BPP wastes no time with this flurry of offense. picking Tony up and striking with a European Uppercut. JR: “BPP is going for it all here.” With a whip to the ropes, BPP goes for a running knee lift, but Tony still has wind left in him too, and he counters with a modified version of a dragon screw leg whip on BPP's bad leg! BPP hobbles around the ring, but Tony catches him with a belly to belly throw! JESSE: “Wow, now that had some impact.” Near the ropes, Tony turns BPP into what looks like another German. BPP breaks the hold and moves around, locking in his own and throws Tony over the top rope...but Tony catches the bottom rope with his hands with legs trapping BPP's arms! JR: “What the? Did Tony spend time in Japan, That's a modified Tarantula! Shades of Tajiri!” JESSE: “HA! I taught him that one!” JR: “I’m sure you did.” Tony breaks the back-killing hold before the ref can administer a 5-count. BPP falls back down, panting, and Tony lands on his feet outside the ring. He ducks under the ring while the ref checks on BPP, starting a 10 count. JR: “What's Tony going for?” Tony pulls out a steel chair! 10:00 ::Ten minutes are left in this match, ten minutes:: Tony slides in with the chair while BPP starts to raise himself at 6. Tony unflattens the steel chair and sits it in the ring, and grabs BPP from behind as he gets up. RELEASE OVERHEAD GERMAN SUPLEX onto the Steel Chair! The chair flattens with the impact as the crowd boos the actions of Tony, the match being kept clean up until this point. JESSE: “Why are they booing? The man is pulling out all the stops to keep his job! BPP would do the same.” JR: “But BPP hasn't Jesse. That's the point.” The referee notices the chair and admonishes Tony rather than apply a ten count. Finally the referee starts, and the crowd awaits with hushed silence. BPP uses the steel chair as a prop to help himself up. His mouth bleeds from what looks like internal injuries. Tony, as well as everyone else, is amazed to see BPP stand upright right before the 10. BPP spits out some blood as Tony charges. BPP sidesteps and dodes, using the steel chair to nail Tony in the back of the head! The referee comes over to stop BPP, but BPP pushes him down! JR: “Now BPP is losing it.” JESSE: “This is sick.” BPP has placed the chair in a Pillmanizer Position, on Tony's head. BPP scales the top turnbuckle and everyone in the arena is on their feet. 5:00 ::Five minutes are left in this match, five minutes:: FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH TO THE CHAIR! BPP splashes with all his might and crashes down on Tony. Both men lie prone and out JR: “Both men injured themselves right there.” JESSE: “BPP's ribs and stomach have been worked on all match, and he just sacrificed his midsection to severely injure Tony's neck.” Both men lie there for minutes as the crowd stands in a hushed silence. They both begin to stir as the referee finally comes to and removes the chair from ringside JR: “About damn time.” Tony has been cut wide open on his forehead from the Five Star Pillmanizer. BPP is bleeding from his mouth. Both men begin to stand up with the help of the ropes ::2 minutes left in this match, 2 minutes:: BPP kicks Tony over to the turnbuckle. and places him sitting on the top. JR: “Could BPP be going for another Super Tiger?” JESSE: “That would end it.” BPP then stands Tony up with himself perched on the top rope. Slowly Tony is lifted into a hanging suplex JR: “He's going for a top-rope Fallen Angel!” JESSE: “He'll have to twist a lot to hit that!” Tony starts to wriggle as BPP doesn't have the strength to pull him down. Tony falls back to a standing position on the turnbuckle ::1 minute left in the match, 1 minute:: Both men weakened, Tony places one hand on BPP's back and another on his chest. He pushes off and leaps JESSE: “TOP ROPE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! YES!” JR: “WAIT! BPP COUNTERED into an X-FACTOR!” ::Crowd chants "Holy Shit!":: The referee begins counting to 10, and the crowd counts along. BPP rolls over onto his face, trying to pull himself up push-up style. Tony is just out of it, blood streaming down his face, At nine, a bell rings. ::This match has reached its time-limit:: Officials pour down ringside, chief among them Bill Watts. The confer at ringside while Tony and BPP come to a lying face to face in the ring. ::Crowd Alternates chants of Tony! and BPP!:: ::We overhear the officials talking about who got the last offensive move in:: JR: “BPP countered it into an X-Factor, he should be the winner!” JESSE: “That was a counter, Tony couldn't hold him because he was tired. Tony got in his finisher from the top rope. He’s won dammit!” In the ring, both men are finally standing, blood streaming down Tony's head and BPP's mouth. The two stare directly at each other. From the back , Zack Malibu joins the officials. BPP and Tony look at each other as Zack then slides in the ring, seemingly to separate the two. Instead, BPP extends a weary hand to Tony, who takes it just as weakly. Then, with everyone watching, the two men hug, tears mixing with blood and sweat. JR: “I think they just buried the hatchet here folks! We're getting word that this match is being declared a draw. Both men retain their respective roles.” JESSE: I don’t like this at all. Tony had this match won. But my hat’s off to both of those men. They gave it their all, and as much as I don’t like it, that’s probably the right decision.” Zack joins in the group hug, and we go off the air with all three men raising each other hands. JR: “Maybe finally, now, we can begin to stand up to the aWo. Merry Christmas everyone. This is a great present for the New Year!” JESSE: “Keep this moment in your hearts. Two men, sixty minutes, all for competition. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!” COMMERCIALS

Scene: The office of Dan Black Dan sits behind his expansive (and expensive) desk, watching a monitor, smirking. In front of the desk is Dangerous A. BLACK Ah, that was a great night. A great night for me, for IntenseZone, for wrestling. And you know what, DA? DANGEROUS A Well, actually I wanted- BLACK That's right. Next sunday will be a great night too, when I capture the Adrenalin Title from that baby kissing clown, Spider Poet. DA But tonight- BLACK Yes, tonight. A very special match. A Christmas Crunch match! DA Sounds more like a breakfast cereal. BLACK Shut up! It's going to be great! DA What is it? BLACK You'll see...you'll all see! Now, where's the IntenseZone Santa? DA Er...we have a Santa? BLACK Yeah! DA Who is it? BLACK Well, I thought about it long and hard. Who's big and fat and loud on IntenseZone? Well, Stephen Joseph isn't as trim as he used to be, thats for sure *sniggers*, but seeing as he's laid out injured for the foreseeable future, I had to get THIS man! The door opens, and in walks JR, dressed in a Santa suit! SANTA JR Damn you to hell, Dan Black. This is going too far. BLACK Where's your Christmas spirit, Jim? You're going to be part of the Christmas Crunch match! SANTA JR Sounds like a breakfast- BLACK Quiet! Now, the object of this match is simple- pin Jim Ross and steal his sack! SANTA JR I beg your pardon? Dan throws him a sack of presents. BLACK You'll be allowed breaks to commentate on matches, but otherwise you'll have to do the show from a remote microphone. SANTA JR What the hell is the point of this? BLACK You need some exercise. And the winner of the match gets to keep the presents- well, the present. In that sack is the inaugural Christmas Crunch trophy! JR struggles to lift the sack. SANTA JR BAH GAWD, this is heavy. BLACK Dangerous A, wouldn't you like a nice trophy? DA grins and nods. BLACK Get running Jim Bob! You have 60 seconds! SANTA JR BAH GAWD, this is almost as bad as calling Raw... COMMERCIALS

JR BAH GAWD, PRL vs Mad Cappa! At last, these two will meet! Also this Sunday, at Bloody, Battered and Beaten, Dan Black faces Spider Poet inside a steel cage for the new Adrenalin Title. But let's go back to September 3rd on IZ, where Dan first came out from under the mask of Mystery Eskimo, and shocked the world of professional wrestling. Calvin Szechstein, just days after becoming World Champion, was in the ring. Eskimo had just turned on the fans with a vicious assault on an innocent woman. Let's see what happened next... Cue: "Too Cold" JR BAH GAWD! What the hell is he doing out here? Mystery Eskimo strides down to the ring, stopping Calvin from leaving with one held up hand. Calvin pauses between the ropes, shrugs, and steps back in. JR Eskimo is laying down a challenge for the world title? He's going to do it for IntenseZone! That guy earlier must have been another of Jailbaits tricks- an imposter in an Eskimo mask! Eskimo slides into the ring as his music cuts. He stares at Calvin. And pics up a mic. ESKIMO Mr. Szechstein...you come out here, telling everyone how damn good you are? Calvin just smirks and nods. ESKIMO Well things are going to be different around here from now on...starting with.... Eskimo lunges forward- JR YES! KICK HIS ASS ESKIMO! - And grabs Calvin's hand into a warm shake. JR NO! YOU BASTARD! Eskimo releases Calvin's hand, and steps back. ESKIMO I'd like to welcome Calvin officially to IntenseZone....in my position as the NEW General Manager! JR WHAT? JESSE Banky's gone, Jim Ross, and Eskimo's in! JR But how could the board sanction that after what Eskimo did to Clarissa? The crowd BOOS! ESKIMO In case you're all wondering...after Banky's little temper tantrum earlier, the board were frantic. No one was here. No one could help. Then I came along. BOOS! ESKIMO I've been here in the OAOAST a long time....the board respect me...trust me...enough to give me an unbreakable contract! JR BAH GAWD! THIS MAN HAS TOTALLY CHANGED! ESKIMO Oh, and one more thing... Eskimo grabs his face, taking his mask in his hand.... and pulls it off! JR BAH GAWD! The crowd buzzes with confusion and excitement as Eskimo throws the mask to the floor! The camera zooms in on his face- sharp cheekbones, dark hair, piercing grey eyes, a thin scar running down the left side of his jaw. Clearly, not an Inuit. JR MAH GAWD! Eskimo just unmasked! ESKIMO I've been under this THING long enough...playing the fool...pretending to be some kind of damn freak, for your amusement! You think I wanted this crappy gimmick? You think I came to the OAOAST and begged to be teamed up with a damn talking fish! JESSE Hey, there's no need to bring Derek into this! ESKIMO(having to shout to make himself heard above the boos): FUCK YOU ALL! MY NAME IS DAN BLACK...THIS IS MY HOUSE....AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE A JOKE ANY LONGER! JR MAH GAWD, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY THIS MAN TURNED HIS BACK ON THE FANS! BLACK In a tribute to that damn identity....just call me "Ice heart"..... JR Dan, why are you doing this, for the love of GAWD! JESSE You know the man, you should have expected this! He's clearly been badly treated! BLACK Jim Ross- you gave me this gimmick. And I took it, I went out, and busted my ass for you all. Did you come to visit me in hospital, JR? Did you? No. But let me tell you- your wife did. Oh yeah, she's been "visiting" me for a long time now! JR WHAT? CUT THIS- I- DAMN HIM- JESSE Keep rolling, I like it! BLACK Bill Watts- I guess you wish you'd got your fat ass hear a little earlier tonight, you might have stopped me seeing the board. But let's face it, you respected me too, didn't you Billy Boy? Black turns to the OAOAST World Champion BLACK Calvin- while you're here, expect only the best. Calvin steps forwards, smiling, and hands an envelope to the man formerly known as Mystery Eskimo. Dan Black pockets it, and throws down the mic to a hail of boos. Black and Calvin leave the ring, walking up the ramp...Black pauses, turns, and flips off the whole arena. JR FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD! LET'S END THIS THING! CUT! CUT! JESSE I-fzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Cut to static...

::The show opens with special bonus footage from last week's IntenseZone. It is obvious that this is true, since at the bottom of the screen in white letters reads "LAST WEEK ON INTENSEZONE, AFTER THE SHOW WENT OFF THE AIR." "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" is being played. Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are walking to the ring while the crowd boos. PRL and Ms. Lindsay are pissed and walking to the ring angrily. PRL has the OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Championships over his shoulders and is holding Lindsay’s hand, who is holding her neck in pain. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” but Lightning is not hearing the crowd chants. He is steaming mad entering the ring. Lindsay slowly enters, holding her neck in pain. Puerto Rican Lightning poses on the turnbuckles to boos and flips the crowd off. He poses on the other turnbuckle a’la The Rock, and then demands a microphone. He checks on Lindsay once more then demands that his music stops. “Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)” stops playing. The crowd begins booing loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL sneers at the crowd. Lindsay sneers. Lightning places his belts on the floor.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: SHUT UP!!!! ::The crowd boos.:: Puerto Rican Lightning (Continuing): Now, I know ya’ll expected a World Title Match between Calvin Szechstein and myself for tonight. But, I talked it over with Calvin, and we both agreed to save that match for a later date since I have a lot of stuff on my mind, and I wouldn’t bring my A game in this matchup. So, you pieces of trailer-park trash will just have to wait a little bit more longer to see YOUR North American Champion take on the OaOasT Champion in a one-on-one match. ::The crowd boos. Lindsay kisses PRL, who then continues.:: PRL: Now, onto another, more important topic. THE MAD CAPPA! ::Crowd POPS~!! “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” chants fill the arena. PRL holds his head to drown out the noise. When that doesn’t work, he slaps his forehead four times. When that doesn’t work, he holds onto Lindsay.:: PRL: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!! THIS is what I’m talking about! Week, after damn week, you come out here, you run your mouth, you attack my friends. You attack my security. You try to attack ME! And yet these idiots cheer you. They love you! WHY? Have you people got any morals? Any decency? I’m a legend in Puerto Rico; I do not deserve to be treated this way! ::More boos. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”:: PRL (Continuing): But CRAPPA. Last week, you crossed the line. (Voice getting lower): CRAPPA, last week, you reached a new low. Last week, on IntenseZone, you showed the world that you were a misogynist. You showed the world that you were a coward. How DARE YOU? Attack a poor, innocent woman like Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez!!! What did she ever do to you? All she did was slap you in the face, and you respond by giving her the BUST A CAP! ::Crowd pops.:: PRL: And these PEOPLE CHEERED!!! WHY? Has American society degenerated so much that people now cheer for guys who beat up on women? This kind of crap would not be tolerated in Puerto Rico, I can tell you that right now! ::The crowd boos loudly and chant “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” at Lindsay. Lindsay groans and holds her neck some more. Tha Puerto Rican checks up on Lindsay and gives her a kiss.:: PRL: You okay, baby? Good. Mad Cappa, you did the unthinkable. You attacked my girl! You attacked the love of my life! You attacked the woman of my dreams! You attacked my ho—my future wife! This beautiful, gifted, talented, sexy, big breasted---uh,--unique female specimen did not deserve to be given the BUST A CAP. Everyone claims that I’m evil. That I’m “psychotic, unstable.” Well, Cappa, YOU’RE THE REAL EVIL ONE! ::Boos.:: Lightning: Soon, Cappa. Real soon. You will get yours. Mark my words. As God, if he exists, as my witness, I swear, as soon as I get done with you, you will spend next Christmas in a wheel chair! You will never EVER EVER touch Lindsay again. I will see to it that you--- ::Suddenly, the blaring trumpets start playing causing the crowd to pop loudly. The trumpets fade into a hip-hop beat as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool starts to play. PRL stands in shock in the ring. He gulps as he, and the crowd, await Cappa’s entrance. Finally, The Mad One enters through the curtain to a HUGE pop. He has a microphone in his hand and is pacing back and forth slapping hands with the fans. He points at PRL, who is shaking in his boots, and sweating. He gulps while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gives him a cold stare. The fans begin chanting “Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa!” in tune with “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)”. The Mad Cappa: Cut the damn music! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool stops playing. The crowd begins cheering loudly and chant “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” The cameras point to a sign in the crowd that says BUST A CAP IN HIS ASS CAPPA with a picture of Puerto Rican Lightning with a bulls-eye across it. Cappa takes a few moments to soak in the cheers. He raises a fist in the air to acknowledge the crowd and begins to speak.:: The Mad Cappa: Puerto Rican Lightning. You know, when I was lying in the hospital, I watched you on OaOasT IntenseZone. I saw what you did those 3 months I was away. Lying, Cheating, and Stealing your way to title wins. Beating the hell out of those who got in your way. Talking down to these fans. Eliminating your enemies. And worst of all, physically and sexually abusing a 20-something female for one week! ::The crowd boos loudly while PRL smiles evilly. Lindsay shows Cappa the hair she still has from Lauren. PRL smells her hair and smiles sadistically while saying “I did it and I’m proud of it.”:: The Mad Cappa (Continuing): And when I came back, you seem to have gotten worst. You became the North American Champion and seem to be more evil. You added new cronies to your Lightning Crew who attacked anyone and everyone who got in your way. You took these poor guys off the street and embarrassed them in the middle of the ring. And you continue to act cocky and arrogant and evil as ever. ::More boos. PRL has a surprised look on his face as if to say “Really?” in a sarcastic tone. He looks at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez who also has a shock look on her face.:: Cappa: Well, Gatalamala! I have had enough! ::The crowd pops.:: Cappa: I am sick and tire of watching you walk around like you own this place. YOU are the real coward, PRL. YOU keep running away from me. YOU keep sacrificing your so-called “friends” to me. YOU were the one who refused to accept my challenges. YOU, Puerto Rican Lightning, are an egotistical, cowardly, self-centered, evil, manipulative, hypocritical, disgusting, vile son-of-a-bitch! ::The crowd yells “YEAH!” They begin chanting “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” Puerto Rican Lightning looks unharmed with a faux “I’m hurt” look on his face.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: Get to the point, Cappa. We ain’t got all day. You’re wasting more time bitching and moaning here then you did doing your stupid little “Street Corner” Talk Show. HAHAAHAHAHAAHHAAAA!!!! ::The crowd boos loudly. Cappa chuckles a bit.:: Cappa: Heh, that was cute. That was cute, I admit it. That whole Street Corner joke. Ha. Ha. You know, PRL. You talk the talk, but you can’t walk the walk. You see, Lightning, if you were as man enough as you claim you were, you wouldn’t have to talk that much and waste everyone’s time every week. ::The crowd laughs. PRL looks a bit embarrassed.:: Cappa (Continuing): No, you see, you would do what a REAL wrestler does. You would just be kicking ass every single week. But you don’t. You know why? Because, Puerto Rican Lightning, you are just a sad, pathetic, excuse for a man. You are jealous of me. Of my talent. Of my popularity. Of the women I get. Face it, you want to BE me. That’s why you take my leg drop. That’s why you do the BUST A CAP. That’s why you call all these moves Cappa this and Cappa that. You want to BE The Mad Cappa. PRL: Why the hell would I want to be some no good, no talented, bad dancing, scum bag? Cappa: PRL, if you are such a tough guy, prove it. Put your money where your mouth is. Tonight, in front of all these people, I am challenging you for a match for the OaOasT North American Championship at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. ::The crowd EXPLODES again. The fans buzz with anticipation with PRL’s answer. The Mad Cappa stares coldly as PRL who paces around the ring nervously. He discusses it with Lindsay who has a look of fear on her face. She keeps shaking her head. PRL hesitates, but finally begins to speak.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: You? Want a title shot against me? Well, I got one thing to say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH AHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! ::PRL laughs and jumps around the ring. Lindsay laughs with him. He becomes teary-eyed and begins to laugh again. The crowd boos loudly knowing PRL’s answer. Cappa grunts and sneers at Lightning.:: Puerto Rican (still laughing): Oh man. Oh man. That was a good one. That was great, Cappa. That was just awesome. Great joke. YOU. Challenge ME? For the North American Championship? Oy. HA! That will be the day. Well, let me just bring you back into reality, homie, since I think the 10 chairshots I gave to your skull damaged your brain a bit. You DO NOT DESERVE A TITLE SHOT! You may not know this, but me and Dan Black are pretty tight. There’s a reason he dissolved the mandatory NA Title defense once I became Champion. HE, unlike these folks and you, KNOWS that I am the BEST! That I am the GREATEST! That I am the BEST DAMN OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION WHO EVER LIVE!!! I AM THE LONGEST REIGNING NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION IN OAOAST HISTORY!!!! I ONLY COMPETE AGAINST THE BEST! THE ELITE! THE GREATEST! AND YOU, CRAPPA, ARE ONE OF THE ABOVE! YOU CAPPA, ARE JUST A LOSER. YOU ALWAYS WERE AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE! I AM INVINCIBLE. I AM UNSTOPPABLE! I WILL BE THE NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION FOREVER! AND THERE IS NOONE WHO CAN STOP ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Stephen Joseph (from the back): EXCEPT ME, ESSE! ::The crowd pops loudly as from the back, enters Stephen Joseph with no music. The crowd chants “Stephen! Stephen! Stephen!” Joseph comes out and stands side by side with The Mad Cappa. He has a smile on his face, which concerns PRL who stands on the ropes wondering why Joseph is out there.:: Stephen Joseph: Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo. Now, is it just me, or did I just hear Puerto Rican Lightning say that no one can stop him? Well, homes let me bring YOU back into reality, homie. For you see, even though Dan Black is the General Manager of IntenseZone, and even though I refuse to live the corporate lifestyle, I still AM part of OaOasT Corporate, and therefore have the power to do whatever I so please. Except, I am not like Mr. Black. You see, I do things for YOU, the PEOPLE! ::The crowd cheers for the remarks. Joseph continues.:: Joseph: And it seems to me, that these fans want to see Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa take each other on, one-on-one in the ring, for the North American Championship, the belt I MADE FAMOUS Thank You Very Much. ::PRL has a “What the hell?” look on his face. The fans cheer. A sign in the crowd says “HEY MR. BLACK! WE WANT PRL VS. THE MAD CAPPA!”:: Stephen Joseph: Now, PRL, I have been checking the OaOasT records and according to tha books, esse, you last defended the OaOasT North American Championship against an OaOasT wrestler under contract on October 26, 2003 at World Without End against Blurricane. Since then, you have defended this prestigious belt several times against people you LITERALLY got off the street. People who were NOT under an OaOasT contract. People who weren’t even wrestlers. People who you KNEW would make YOU look good and therefore allow you to keep the belt. And thanks to Dan Black, you don’t have to defend the belt every week. And whenever you could have faced someone who could actually give you a run for the belt, you would turn down the challenge saying you would defend it some other time. Puerto Rican Lightning: I admit it. I DID ALL OF THAT! I ADMIT IT! NOW WHY ARE YOU HERE? Joseph: Well, homie, I am here to let you know that you are in violation of OaOasT rules. You see, according to the OaOasT Rulebook, a rulebook that actually EXISTS mind you: “If a wrestler does not defend his/her OaOasT Title within a 30 day time period, then he/she will be stripped of his/her OaOasT Title.” ::The crowd cheers loudly. Puerto Rican Lightning gulps and begins to cry knowing that he violated OaOasT rules. He looks at the North American Title belt and holds onto it like a baby. Lindsay starts saying stuff to Stephen Joseph in Spanish. PRL gulps once again. Stephen Joseph has a sly smile on his face as he continues.:: Stephen Joseph: And according to my watch, today is December 23, 2003. Nearly 2 MONTHS since you last defended the belt. Now, I SHOULD do the right thing and strip you of the OaOasT North American Title. ::Crowd pops. PRL screams “NO! NO! NO!”:: Stephen Joseph (Continuing): BUT! I won't since I am such a nice guy. Plus, the words PRL and strip should NOT be in the same sentence. Now, Lindsay and Strip. They go together REAL well. ::Lindsay blushes.:: PRL: DON'T TALK ABOUT MY WOMAN THAT WAY!!! Stephen Joseph: Like you are the master of ettiquette when it comes to females. Let me tell you somethin', son. Since, I am such a nice guy, and since I want these fans to get the absolute BEST out of OaOasT IntenseZone, I will be giving you a chance to defend that belt against a worthy opponent. ::The crowd starts screaming. PRL groans as he knows who this opponent is.:: Stephen Joseph (turning to Mad Cappa): Mad Cappa. You are a courageous young man. You coming back from a crushed larynx and broken bones after 3 months was inspirational and made me proud to have you apart of IntenseZone. You have shown determination since you have returned, defeating such superstars as Dangerous A, Bizarro Blurricane, and have gone toe to toe with Axel, “Shooter” Jay Darring, Blurricane, and becoming a fan favorite in the process. You have been in the OaOasT for 10 months, yet you haven’t received a shot at any OaOasT Title. Well, you have paid your dues and, son, you DESERVED a shot at the OaOasT North American Title. So, how about it, G? At Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, how would you like to receive a shot at the OaOasT North American Championship AND kick Puerto Rican Lightning’s Puerto Rican ass at the same time!? ::The crowd cheers. Cappa looks at them with a smile on his face. The crowd seems to know his answer.:: The Mad Cappa: Mr. Joseph, it would be an honor to kick Puerto Rican Lightning’s ass and win the OaOasT North American Title in the process! Stephen Joseph: Please, call me Stephen. I ain’t down with that corporate crap. Puerto Rican Lightning: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! THIS IS NOT FAIR! I DO NOT DESERVE THIS! I AM THE NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION! I AM A PUERTO RICO LEDGEND I DO NOT DESERVE THIS!!! I WANT RESPECT!!! I DEMAND RESPECT!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH, YOU ARE ABUSING YOUR POWER!!! YOU ARE POWER-HUNGRY!!! YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO DO THIS!!! YOU ARE JUST PISSED THAT THE LIGHTNING CREW KICKED YOUR ASS THIS WEEK!!! YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!!! YOU ARE A POWER ABUSER!!! ::Stephen Joseph sighs.:: Stephen Joseph: Ah, poor, naive PRL. You forget. I am CORPORATE! I have the power to do so. I am not abusing my power, just giving the fans what they DESERVE to see. And THESE FANS want to see The Mad CAPPA kick YOUR ASS AT BLOODY, BATTERED, AND BEATEN! ::Fans pop.:: Joseph: Oh, and one more thing, G. If, by any chance, you refuse to compete at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten for any reason other than a serious, legitimate injury, as punishment for your refusal to defend the title, and more importantly, for all the evil you’ve done this year INCLUDING your horrible mistreatment of Ms. Lauren Gellar, I will BAR YOU FROM THE OAOAST 4-LIFE! ::The crowd explodes. Cappa cheers and slaps hands with Stephen Joseph. Stephen stands in the aisle with a confident look on his face. The crowd begins chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL tells the crowd to shut up! When that doesn’t work, PRL covers his ears and tries to drown out the noise. When that doesn’t work, he slaps his forehead 4 times. When that doesn’t work, he hugs Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez who comforts him. Ms. Lindsay sneers at Cappa and yells at him. Cappa grabs the microphone calming the crowd down.:: The Mad Cappa: Puerto Rican Lightning. December 28, 2003. OaOasT Bloody, Battered, And Beaten. OaOasT North American Championship Match. You will get your comeuppance! Don’t ask, just accept it! Because come December 28, I will not only cripple YOU, BUT, become OaOasT North American Champion in the process! So PRL, watch out for the lightning strikes, because at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, you will suffer a MAD CAPPA Nightmare!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool starts to play again. The crowd starts dancing and chanting “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” Cappa hugs Stephen Joseph. Cappa tries to get Joseph to dance, but he refuses. Cappa slaps the hands of the fans while Puerto Rican Lightning jumps up and down and whines about his match with Cappa coming up at BBB. He talks it over with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who is also worried. Cappa walks through the crowd, slapping hands with the fans. Joseph stares at PRL, who stares back, then leaves. PRL mouths “Son of a bitch.” Then continues whining. Cappa raises his hands in the air in the crowd and stares back at PRL. He exits through the crowd as does Joseph while PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stay in the ring complaining. The crowd is still cheering as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool plays on the P.A. System. PRL whines some more then exits the ring.:: COMMERCIALS

The show opens on a set of wrestling boots, walking through...snow? The boots stop. More boots appear next to it. The camera pans up to reveal IZ boss Dan Black, a black scarf wrapped around his neck, a lantern in his right hand, sheet music in his left. Dan scowls and mutters. "Damn stupid promotional duties..." The camera moves out to show IZ stars Blurricane, Shuffle, Dangerous A, G Money, SPIDERPOET~!, Ted Weddy, Plushy Al Logan, Judas, Father, the Blurri-Rangers, D Nice, Alfdogg, JINGUS and Shooter Jay Darring~! The cluster of men look at each other unhappily, before music strikes up, and some kind of sound is forcibly emitted from the IZ stars... Silent Night... Holy Night... All is- BLACK You're way out of tune Blurricane! BLURRICANE Huuuuuuuh? TED WEDDY It's YOU Danny boy! You sound like a someones castratin' you, man! -All is bright Round yon Virgin Mother and- BLACK Cone, you'll spoiling it, sing properly! SPIDERPOET WHAT? *SLAP!* BLACK You'll regret that, you bitch! Come here! Sleep in heavenly- *CRACK!* Dan Black is layed out! Dangerous A attacks Poet from behind! JINGUS chokeslams Father! A BRAWL breaks out! Fists are thrown! Snow is thrown! Bodies are thrown! The camera pans up to show the sky, filled with swirling snow flakes, then down again, to show a pile of bodies twitching and covered in snow. A groan limps out: Sleep in Heavenly peace... Merry Christmas from all on IntenseZone Lights! Camera! Pyro! Jim Ross! JR Good evening everybody, seasons greetings from good ol' JR! Over the next two weeks, we'll be looking back over the past incredible year of IntenseZone, but tonight we'll also look forward to next Sundays big PPV show! Let's get to it!

I would HATE to see Sting in WWE. There's no way anything would be added to his career, only detracted by jobbing to HHH. I don't even like seeing him in TNA. For once, lets just have a wrestler who retires gracefully rather than dragging things on and on.

Oh, that feud that they totally blew and no one cared about?

The problem with being a "monster heel" and going over all the faces clean is that the fans will end up cheering him as they did the first time. Heels have to cheat to get heat. He's still being booked fairly strongly though, beating Mysterio clean, unlike Jericho's title run where he needed to cheat to beat Maven of all people.

Yeah, I emailed them too and didnt hear anything back. Did anyone get a reply from them? I'd pay to use that site if they kept putting up RoH and TNA.

Thats the idea. Obviously the more new stuff we can get the better, but a lot of our regular contributors are out of things at the moment- SJ, PRL. I don't know where Jay is. Or Alfdogg.

I'm so going to Azerbeijan. Or Wales. Which is nicer?

I think if we'd had the main event, it would have been a solid show. I don't know whats happened to PRL, he's not responding to PMs or anything.

According to Tony's thread, the PPV is the 28th December. So next weeks Tuesday show will be the only one before BBB. So as much stuff hyping the PPV as possible would be great. If the shows thin on content again I'll put in "best of" stuff. Hopefully after the holidays we can pick things up again.

Sounds good. If anyone wants to suggest favourite matches or segments of theirs from IZ this year, do it here or PM me. Don't forget theres a PPV coming though, and if anyone wants to write new segments that'd be fine, we could have those too. On the PPV, I don't think we have that many IZ matches. Does anyone want a match?

Ok, so next weeks show will be right before xmas. If people are too busy with that to write, I'd consider having a week off with no show. What do you think?