Angel_Grace_Blue

My anti-picks, aka choices I'm against: 1. Myers - got to have some warm bodies to beat up 2. Riley - I don't see a heel/heel tandem working well. "That jerk sucks!" "He super sucks!" Contrast is key 3. Madrac - see Riley. Heel/heel = bad. Now, on to the other people: 1. Comet is a good pick, however, nobody is allowed to write him as saying 'citizens'. I will stab your face if you do. 2. Axis is a good one, too, and he could really help King go over the top in heelishness. With Cykes, they both can't be too extreme and stuff. 3. Edwin is kinda like Comet. He's over the top, which is nifty. However, he might have exploded storyline wise last time he was around. 4. Frost could work, maybe. As I've already said, he'd have to be a face, and Frost as a face is kind of like Axis: A little vanilla, but good for grounding peoples. 5. Annie could work. She has experience from the JL trio with Ejiro and Judge. 6. Ted Polack is an...interesting...idea. It'd be odd, though, to explain it, I think. "Hey, here's this guy with weird hair, and he won a prize where he gets to work with the SWF." 7. Ben Hardy is good, too. And, if he becomes the commentator, how about Nervous Sheep becoming the backstage interviewer? No? Fine...Exploding Chicken? Extreme Hound? Xtreme (He could hang out with Funyon. F/X represent!)? Mr. Galatea, then. He's awesome.

Ortiz crushes a solo homerun, 6-0 top of the 5th. Sadly, this now means that the Dominican Republic team has more hits than the Cuban team.

And Beltre gets plunked in the hip. The Cuban pitcher is deteriorating it seems. Thrown a few that, had the catcher not been playing well, would have been wild pitches, and then a balk to get Moises to 2nd. Edit: I don't know how many people are watching/can watch this game, so if you'd rather not have my crappy running commentary, let me know. To the max.

Shitty throw by the Cuban 3rd baseman, and it goes over the 1st baseman's head, so Tejada and Pujols score, Alou on first, two out.

Just turned on Deportes (Not sure why I've got it), and Tejada knocks in two with a double in the 3rd.

And Jeter gets plunked.

Yes to everything Muzz said.

Here are two articles from Fox Sports.com: http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/5373408 http://msn.foxsports.com/boxing/story/5372598

HE'S ANGERFUL~! Even on his birthday. Dude's just mad at everything, ever.

DUHN-DUHN-DUH! Mystery, mystery, woooo...

I like it. Doom advises all college students to "Muchness with studied, of whenever." Or something. I'm sometimes not good at producing the funny on the spot.

It's almost overs. W00ty.

Yes, and maybe I'll put the hardcore belt on the line in my Calvinball match.

SWF World Heavyweight Championship Match El Luchadore Magnifico © vs. Wes Davenport Wes fuckin' Davenport Pink-Slip Ladder Match Kevin Coyote vs. Longdogger Pete Peat Moss TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS - SWF Tag Team Championship Match Landon Maddix © and Max King © vs. The Asian Underground (Akira Kaibatsu © and Michael Cross) vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins and Zyon Blorkle...the King Dix CAGE MATCH - SWF International Championship Jay Hawke © vs. Wildchild WC. #1 Contendership for the SWF Cruiserweight Championship Amy Stephens vs. Ghost Machine 2.0 GM2.0 Ultraviolent Ladder Match Insane Luchadore vs. Wayne Blank Luchy Death on Ice - SWF Ultraviolent Championship Match Bruce Blank © vs. Renegade Renegadez0rs SWF Frost Pre-PPV Show CALVINBALL III Stryke vs. Sean Davis vs. Jimmy the Doom vs. Christian Fury vs. Arch Griffon vs. An Octopus vs. Matt "Hobbes" Myers An Octopus fo' reals. ??? vs. "Big Country" Martin Hunt Madrac

So long as none of you motherfuckers writes him as saying "Citizen(s)". He never fucking used that whilst active, so he shouldn't as a commentator.

Might have missed it mentioned in the card proper, so I'll ask: King and Comet again as commentators, or someone else in Pete's place?

So, Calvinball. I can't wait to disappoint Thoth, so I'll write it as a standard match. Seriously.

If anyone wants to give feedback, huzzah, but I know this match is kinda crappy. I rushed to finish something last night when Janus said Manson hadn't turned in anything, so McWhatevers. Expect some of these spots/ideas/et cetera to be used in future matches. ----- Lockdown returns after a commercial for Danny Williams' Strong Style Ribs new straight-bread 'Fuck John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich' platter and a camera man pans around the exercise yard of San Quentin, displaying messages carved into weaker inmates before heading over to Cyclone Comet and the Suicide King. "Welcome back to locked up Lockdown, live from San Quentin state penitentiary!" Comet beams. "You know, this is kind of uncomfortable, King. I've helped put away a few of these guys." "Wait. You were responsible for the arrest of several inmates here, and yet you let Chris Wilson get away with blowing up a toy store?!" King shouts. "Well, my crime fighting license had expired at that time. That's why I was wrestling," Comet explains. "Anyway, we've had some great matches so far, with the number one contender for Jay Hawke's international title determined. Now, though, is the first semi-final match for the Lethal Lottery tournament, as Jimmy the Doom and Manson will take on Spike Jenkins and Zyon in a Shackle Match!" A few spotlights drop down, but most remain on, as it's unwise to plunge into complete darkness with prisoners around, and a score of hooded druids march out from the main building, chanting a single word. DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! The druids encircle the ring and the few spotlights that were turned off snap back on, accompanied by Mastodon's "Crusher Destroyer". Manson and Jimmy the Doom walk down the ramp together, as they are shackled at the ankles. "Ladies...wait, this is a prison...gentlemen...shit, it's a prison...fucking scumbags, the following match is a Shackles Match in the Lethal Lottery tournament! Introducing first, not being accompanied by Lois the Unethical because you rapists cannot be trusted, weighing in at four hundred, eighty-five pounds, the Straight-Bread Sensation, JJIIMMEEEE THE DOOOM AND MMAAAANSON!" Funyon shouts. "Wow. He's pretty harsh," King mutters. "They deserve it, King. Criminals are not to be glorified or admired," Comet replies. Doom and Manson climb into the ring and begin to discuss strategy while the spotlights go to full power. The annoying sound of a needle scratching on vinyl fills the yard, nearly putting several convicts into a baby-stabbing frenzy. BAM! Lamb of God's "Black Label" rips over the speakers, complete with Randy Blythe shrieking like an infant and Zyon and Spike Jenkins making their appearance. Jenkins drops to one knee, but isn't allowed to do anything else, as the exuberant Zyon sprints down to the ring, jerking Spike to his feet. "And their opponents, weighing four hundred, twenty pounds, 'HOLLYWOOD' SSPIIKE JENKINSS AND 'THE UNIQUE YOUTH' ZYYYON!" Funyon roars. Zyon hops onto the apron, intent on vaulting inside the ring, but Spike rolls under the bottom rope, making such a feat impossible. The Unique Youth drops down and slides under as well, seeing as he has no choice. Referee Nick Soapdish checks all four men for hidden objects, finds nothing (Which is far less intensive as Warden Smith's cavity searches), and calls for the bell. DING! DING! DING! "I find it interesting that both teams entered to the music of the more established wrestler," Comet says. "Jesus, you are boring! I think it's of greater importance that this match is not under hardcore rules. I mean, all four guys are in the ring at the same time, but they can't smack each other with chairs? That's just lame," King points out. Doom faces off against Zyon, while the Raging Bull stares down Jenkins. The two teams begin to circle the ring, when Jimmy explodes forward, leaning across Manson to crack Spike in the jaw with a shotei. DOSIMETER! Zyon quickly lashes out with kick to Jimmy's stomach, while Manson smashes an elbow into the reeling Jenkins' head. Spike stumbles backwards, taking the Unique Youth with him. Doom and the Stampede follow after, driving knees into Spike and Zyon's stomachs. Jimmy and Manson turn around, grab the Unique Youth and 'Hollywood' in side headlocks, and take them to the canvas with dual bulldogs. "Manson and Jimmy the Doom have gained an early advantage, and I don't see how Jenkins and Zyon will be able to overcome, as Zyon's speed is nullified by that chain connecting him to Spike," Comet points out. "And Spike can't exactly scrabble around on the mat with Zyon clamped to his ankle. It's perfect because they are both weighing each other down," King says. The Straight-Bread Sensation and Manson get up, put their connecting chain around Spike and Zyon's throats, and slap on a pair of single leg crabs. However, before too much damage can be done, Soapdish screams at Doom and the Raging Bull to stop choking their opponents. Jimmy and the Raging Bull drop Spike and Zyon's legs and walk backwards, freeing their opponents. "See? That's what I'm talking about! Manson and Doom should be allowed to choke Jenkins and Zyon with those chains. It's part of the match stipulation, so it should be allowed," King grumbles. "But in a standard match, a wrestler isn't allowed to choke his opponent with the ring ropes, so this should be no different," Comet notes. Zyon and Spike slowly clamber up, duck a wild shotei and punch from Jimmy and Manson, respectively, and straining their steel tether to its limits, Zyon cracks Doom in the face with a kick. Clang! "I suppose you're going to say that Zyon should be disqualified for hitting Jimmy the Doom with that manacle?" King asks. "Strictly speaking, I suppose so, but closed fists are used often without resulting in a disqualification," Comet points out. The Straight-Breader stumbles back, allowing the Unique Youth to continue the assault, lashing out with rapid-fire forearms. Jenkins ducks under a right hook from Manson, and boots him in the stomach. Spike slaps on a front facelock, content to keep the Raging Bull out of as much of the match as possible. Zyon continues to pepper Doom with forearms, and then hooks the chain connecting Manson to Jimmy with his foot and yanks, tripping both men to the mat. Jenkins quickly transitions his facelock to a lateral press, and Soapdish drops to count the pin. ONE! T-No! "Shoulder up from Manson, and I've got to think that Spike and Zyon are going about this match the wrong way. While Manson is certainly the strongest man in the ring, he's probably easier to put away than Jimmy the Doom," Comet says. "True, but it should be easier to beat up on Doom, as he's less likely to overpower either Jenkins or Zyon. Of course, if Zyon and Spike were a bit more friendly, they would be working together a little better and it would be easier to coordinate their attacks, but they're both morons, so sucks to them." Spike shouts at Zyon to help him turn the Stampede over, and Jenkins swiftly applies a crossface hold while the Unique Youth traps Manson's other arm in an armbar. "Not working together, King? That Strong Island Stretch and armbar certainly looks like Jenkins and Zyon can work together," Comet says. "Well, that's because you are a jackass that wears a mask and underpants on the outside," King points out. "Dick," Comet mutters, trying to disguise the sound by shuffling his index cards. Soapdish looks into Manson's eyes, risking an accidental face-melting to ask if he'll submit, while the Straight-Bread Sensation stands up. Doom aims a kick for Zyon's head, but the former cruiserweight champ rolls out of the way, willingly relinquishing an armbar to save his face. Jimmy drops an elbow into the middle of Zyon's back, and while on the mat, lashes out with his non-shackled foot at Spike, more shoving than kicking 'Hollywood' off of the Raging Bull. "Tough break for Zyon and Jenkins, as that arm work, had it lasted longer, would have weakened Manson, and a Western lariat isn't as effective when the limb used resembles a piece of spaghetti." Zyon wriggles from under Doom and joins a standing 'Hollywood'. At Spike's urging, he and the Unique Youth begin kicking at Manson's head with their manacled legs. The fact that by holding their shoulders for balance they look like the Rockettes is of no real importance. Clang! Clang! Clang! Jimmy gets to his feet, and Zyon is shoved over to face off against the Doomtopian while Jenkins continues to kick Manson in the face. The Unique Youth throws a forearm, but it is knocked away by Doom's head. Jimmy smashes a shotei into Zyon's ribs and follows up with a headbutt. The Straight-Breader bends Zyon over, hooks both of his arms, and drives a knee into his stomach. The Unique Youth stumbles backwards, gasping for air, and as a result, yanks Spike off-balance in mid-kick, causing 'Hollywood' to face plant. "That's an end to that flurry, though Manson might be bleeding after getting kicked in the face so many times," Comet states. "I doubt it. Kicks like those don't usually involve the ankle, which is where those manacles are fastened, connecting with flesh. Now, Zyon's roundhouse that hit Doom earlier? A few of those could bust someone open," King points out. Jimmy helps Manson off the mat, and both teams head to opposite corners to recover. After a few moments, the Raging Bull and the Straight-Bread Sensation charge, but Zyon and Spike are ready for it, and they take down Manson and Doom with a pair of dropkicks. The Unique Youth and Jenkins scramble over, and both hook a leg belonging to the Raging Bull. ONE! TW-No! "Kick out from Manson! It's really going to be difficult for Spike and Zyon to keep Manson and Doom down long enough to either focus on the other, or to get a pin fall, especially with their movement hindered by those shackles," Comet states. "I think we've already brought that subject up. Yes, Zyon and Spike can't move around as well as they usually do because they are chained to each other, while Manson and Jimmy, who wrestle are more slow-paced style, aren't at that much of a disadvantage. Now talk about something else!" King shouts. Spike and Zyon get back to their feet and begin stomping away at Manson while Doom slowly climbs up. Ordering Zyon to stay on Manson, Jenkins smashes the Straight-Bread Sensation in the face with a kick. 'Hollywood' throws an arm across Doom's chest and drops to his knees, staggering Jimmy. "The Minor Threat from Spike Jenkins, and with Zyon putting the boots to Manson, this is a perfect opportunity for Spike and Zyon to seal this match up," Comet says. "That's doubtful at this point in time, Comet. Doom is very tough, and Manson could probably power his way out of just about anything Spike or Zyon throw at him," King points out. Jenkins pulls on his chain, causing Zyon to back off of Manson, which gives 'Hollywood' the slack neccessary to nail the Doomtopian with a roaring elbow, dropping Jimmy to his knees. MAMMOGRAPHY! 'Hollywood' laces two kicks into Jimmy's chest, hops back, and then darts in for a final kick to the face. Jenkins glares at Jimmy as the Doomtopian refuses to fall over, so Spike points at Zyon, ordering the Unique Youth to take care of the Straight-Breader. Zyon shrugs his shoulders and runs over, planting both feet in Doom's face. SPOONERISM! "Basement dropkick from Zyon, and that might keep Jimmy the Doom down long enough for Spike and Zyon to focus their attention on either the Doomtopian or Manson," Comet states. However, the Raging Bull, having time to recover during Jimmy's beating, climbs to his feet and swipes out with a knife edged chop to Spike's back. 'Hollywood' spins around, right into a left hook from the Stampede. Manson wraps his arms around Jenkins, picks him off the mat, and drives him into the canvas with a belly to belly slam. The Unique Youth feels the tug on his ankle and makes his way towards Manson, smacking him in the back of the head. LIMNOLOGY! "Enzuigiri from Zyon! He needs to stay on top of Manson to give his team a shot in this match." "If Zyon were smart, which he's proven many times to be false, he would go after Manson's arms, as it's hard to toss people around when your arms are hanging limp and lifeless," King notes. Zyon drags Manson off of Spike so as not to create a pinning situation, and slaps on an arm scissors. Soapdish slides in to check if the Stampede will submit, but gets flipped off for his trouble. Spike clambers off the mat, drops a knee across Manson's neck, and with the knee still grinding in, applies an armbar. As Jenkins and the Unique Youth torque on both of Manson's arms, Soapdish asks once more if the Raging Bull will give up. This time, Nick gets a mixture of phlegm and saliva in his face (Mostly his eyes) as a response. 'Hollywood' soon gives up his submission hold, and instead boots Manson in the face. PHENOLPHTALIEN! And a second time. MUCILAGE! The Straight-Bread Sensation gets up and slips behind Jenkins (An easy task as 'Hollywood' is focused solely on kicking Manson in the face). Spike rears back for a third kick, but finds it blocked by a Doomtopian leg. Jimmy lashes out with an elbow to the bridge of Spike's nose, then follows up with a jab to the throat. "Hand of Doom! Jimmy the Doom is in the process of saving Manson from possible defeat, a dislocated shoulder, and unconsciousness!" Comet exclaims. "I honestly don't think any of those were very close to happening," King mumbles. Jimmy cracks Zyon in the knee, causing the Unique Youth to release his arm scissors. Doom hoists Jenkins off the mat with a two handed choke lift and sits out. However, the Doomtopian doesn't have a chance to make a pin, as Zyon is on his feet. The Straight-Breader slides away from Spike and gets up, narrowly avoiding a high kick. Jimmy eats a forearm, but fires back with shotei to the jaw. Zyon snaps off two kicks to Doom's stomach, but the Straight-Bread Sensation answers with a kick of his own to the Unique Youth's head. Zyon throws a wild punch that Jimmy easily dodges, and he slips behind Zyon, latching on a half nelson. The Doomtopian fires off a trio headbutts to the crown of Zyon's skull, and drags the Unique Youth to the mat with a DDT. Jimmy makes a lateral press with Nick Soapdish picking his way over Spike and Manson to make the count. ONE! TWO! T-No! "Kick out from Zyon! He's just lucky he wasn't trading blows with Manson, otherwise this match might be over," Comet points out. "That's very true, Comet. Manson is a hard-hitting son of a bitch, but I'm not sure if he could have taken the same amount of punishment that Jimmy the Doom did during that exchange," King notes. Doom heads over and helps his partner off the mat before both make their way towards the Unique Youth. Jimmy and the Raging Bull lift their Hoosier opponent up and begin to lace into him with kicks and punches. Nearly dead on his feet, Zyon reaches out and slashes his fingers across Manson's eyes. Jimmy the Doom cracks Zyon with a roundhouse while Spike crawls to his feet. Luckily for 'Hollywood', his and Zyon's chain is threaded between Manson's legs. Unluckily for the Raging Bull, Jenkins notices and acts on this. The Stampede drops to his knees, and Spike rushes forward, slamming both feet into the back of Doom's legs, propelling the Straight-Bread Sensation into Zyon's waiting clutches. The Unique Youth scoops Doom off the mat and plants him with a piledriver. "Aero Driver from the Unique Youth! And with Manson temporarily incapacitated from nefarious tactics, Spike and Zyon could finish this match right now!" Comet shouts. "If they go after Manson, maybe. He's in perfect position to be taken advantage of. You know, with this show being held in a prison, that really did not sound how I intended it to be," King says. Zyon shoves Doom away and gets to his feet as Spike sends a shotei into Manson's jaw. The Unique Youth smashes a forearm into the Raging Bull before throwing an arm across his chest and sweeping the Stampede's legs out, driving him face first into the mat. Jenkins flips Manson over, and he and Zyon both cover the Raging Bull. ONE! TWO! T-No! "Shoulder up from Manson after Zyon's Decline! Mayhap if Spike went for the Clean Living, he and Zyon would be going to Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Four at From the Fire," Comet notes. Jenkins gets to his feet along with Zyon, and the two men pull Manson off the mat and into a double knee lift. Spike slips behind the Raging Bull, and yanks him down to the canvas. 'Hollywood' backtracks, looking to make a lateral press, but finds his way blocked by a flying Doomtopian. The Straight-Bread Sensation wraps his legs around Spike's torso, taking Jenkins down. Jimmy drops two quick elbows to Spike's face before clambering up and turning towards Zyon. The Doomtopian eats a kick from the Unique Youth, but smashes a double palm strike into his chest. Jimmy digs the tip of his boot into Zyon's stomach and yanks him in close, but the Unique Youth lands a desperation low blow and wriggles free of Doom's grip. "Looked like Jimmy the Doom was going for the Doom Factor there, but Zyon escaped it with a...less than noble move," Comet says. "Anything to get the job done," King points out. "Didn't you bribe a referee once?" Comet asks. "Once? More like once a month, at least," King replies. The Straight-Breader stumbles back, but composes himself in time to smash a shotei into Zyon's jaw. Doom lands an elbow, then hauls the Unique Youth to the mat with a DDT. Jimmy pulls his tag partner up and Manson blasts Spike with a boot heel to the mouth before yanking 'Hollywood' off the canvas. Doom picks Zyon up, and he applies an inverted facelock, while the Raging Bull slaps a standard front facelock on Jenkins. Both men hook their opponents' legs and lift, the Stampede spinning as best he can while chained to the Straight-Bread Sensation, and the duo drop. "Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza and Doom Driver on Spike Jenkins and Zyon, respectively!" Comet shouts. "This could very well end the match!" Manson bridges up while Doom rolls over for a better lateral press. Soapdish looks at the four men, and decides to count Manson pinning Spike Jenkins first. ONE! TWO! TH-No! "Shoulder up from Jenkins!" Comet exclaims. Soapdish quickly slides over to count the Doomtopian's pin attempt. ONE! TWO! T-No! "And a kick out from Zyon as well! However, I don't think that he or Spike Jenkins have much left in the tank," Comet says. "Yeah, all Manson or Jimmy the Doom need is to hit one more big move on either Jenkins or Zyon, and this match should be theirs," King adds. The Raging Bull rises and motions for Doom to follow him to a corner. Manson shakes out his lariating arm while telling the Doomtopian to ready his legs. 'Hollywood' and the Unique Youth slowly rise, both dazed after the recent attack they sustained. The Stampede and Jimmy race for their opponents, but Spike grabs Zyon and now all four men are converging on the middle of the ring. Seconds before impact, Jenkins and Zyon drop down, hitting Manson and the Straight-Bread Sensation with a soccer tackle and basement dropkick to the shins, respectively. Actually, those are basically the same move. Manson and Doom tumble head over heels and land on their backs. "Wait just a second! It looks like the tables have turned!" Comet yells. "I think it's going to take a lot more than a pair of dropkicks to give Spike Jenkins and Zyon the advantage," King says. Spike and Zyon whip around, charge the downed forms of Manson and Doom, and slide feet-first into their skulls. LAPIDARY! The Unique Youth and 'Hollywood' cover the Raging Bull and the Straight-Bread Sensation, respectively. Once again, Soapdish has to make a decision, and drops to count Zyon's pin. ONE! TWO! TH-No! Nick quickly drags himself over and counts Spike's pin. ONE! TWO! T-No! "And Jimmy the Doom and Manson both get shoulders up! I wonder, had the referee counted Spike's pin first, would that have won him and Zyon the match?" Comet wonders. "Possibly, but Jimmy the Doom might have just been trying to conserve his energy instead of kicking out immediately," King says. Zyon and Jenkins get to their feet and simply wait on the Stampede and Doom. Jimmy is the first up, and 'Hollywood' darts in, smacking him with a superkick. COLOPHON! The Straight-Breader stumbles backwards, but the Unique Youth takes care of him with a roundhouse. AGGLUTINATE! However, now Manson is at a vertical base, and the Raging Bull decks Spike with a right cross. Zyon steps in and drives a forearm into the Stampede's face, but gets a headbutt in return. Manson smashes an elbow into the Unique Youth's jaw, and then turns his attention back on Jenkins. Spike ducks a left hook and snakes a shotei into Manson's chin. The Raging Bull rears a fist back, but 'Hollywood' tosses an arm across Manson's chest, then sweeps him to the mat. "Spike Jenkins and Zyon really are cleaning house! They took care of Jimmy the Doom with a Last Dance superkick and a roundhouse, and Manson was dealt with by means of a nice STO." "True, but Zyon is going to find a tough time in putting either Manson or Jimmy the Doom away, as he can't exactly use the Final Flash or the Blitzkrieg Spike in this match, and he most likely can't even lift Manson for the 911 Aero Driver. Jenkins can presumably hit the Clean Living on either opponent, or lock on the Silver Lining, but Manson is too big for the Ratings Crash, and it might be hard to use it on Jimmy because of the shackles and chain," King points out. "I thought you said earlier that we've talked about Zyon's mobility and quickness being hindered because of the shackles and we wouldn't talk about it any more," Comet says. "No, I said you had talked about it enough. I never imposed that stipulation on myself," King explains. Spike, with help from Zyon, rolls Manson and Doom over, and 'Hollywood' slaps a surfboard on Manson, while the Unique Youth tries his best to imitate on Jimmy. Nick Soapdish slides in to check on Manson and Doom's willingness to submit, but neither man is all that willing (Spirit or flesh. That was a poorly executed Biblical reference. Let's try again.). Nick Soapdish slides in to check if Manson or Doom wish to submit, but neither man's spirit or flesh is willing to give up (Much better. On with the match!). Jenkins tries to crank back and grind a foot into the middle of Manson's back, but the Raging Bull is quite a bit stronger than 'Hollywood', and after a bit of flailing, Manson gets an arm free of Spike's grasp. The Stampede begins to drag himself towards the ropes, but it's hard with a Straight-Edger on his back, and a Straight-Breader connected at the ankle. However, Doom feels the tug on his shackle, and rather than trying to free himself from Zyon's grip (Which actually probably wouldn't be that difficult a task.), undulates his body towards the ropes, providing Manson with slack to keep on moving. "Jesus Christ...is that moron doing the Worm?" King wonders. "He's adapting to his situation, King. And he and Manson are nearing the ropes," Comet points out. As the Doomtopian continues towards the ropes, Zyon nearly gets bucked off, but the Unique Youth hangs on tight, while Manson grabs hold of the bottom rope. Jenkins reluctantly relinquishes his half a surfboard, and Jimmy the Doom flops himself into the ropes, prompting Soapdish to order Zyon to let go. The Unique Youth pulls Jimmy's torso off the mat as high as he can manage, plants a foot on the back of Doom's head, and lets go, stomping the Straight-Bread Sensation's throat into the middle rope. "Hey! I think I like the kid now," King says. "I certainly don't! Doesn't he remember what happened to JJ Johnson?" Comet asks. "Which part? The no talking, or JJ Exploder '98-ing him into a ring post? Besides, it's not like Jimmy the Doom ever had anything worthwhile to say, and if he did, you couldn't understand what it was. Restricting him to writing things down is a good thing," King replies. "Ha, you're Martha Stewart," Comet laughs. "Bitch, I'mma slap the taste out ya mouth!" King shoots back. "I already said you are Martha Stewart. Why'd you have to add to the impression?" King is rendered speechless, allowing Spike to kick Doom in the brain. EMBOUCHURE! Jimmy snaps back off of the ropes, directly into a lateral press from Jenkins, while Zyon is left to try and intercept Manson. ONE! TWO! THR-No! "Shoulder up from Jimmy the Doom after that modified Dangerous Wizard!" Comet shouts. "Modified? It was just a kick to the back of the head," King points out. The Raging Bull gets to his feet, but is met by a forearm from Zyon. The Unique Youth tries to press the attack, but simply cannot go any farther, as he's reached the end of his tether. Manson, too can't retreat any more, so he decides to go on the offensive, and punches Zyon in the face. The Unique Youth stumbles backwards, but slows the Raging Bull's onslaught with two kicks to the knee. 'Hollywood' decides to help out his partner, and rushes towards the Stampede, crashing into him with a lariat. The Raging Bull stares at Jenkins, but all he does is stare, as Zyon laces a chop into his throat. Spike shoves the Unique Youth towards the Straight-Bread Sensation, apparently informing Zyon to take care of Doom while Jenkins deals with Manson. "Spike Jenkins is very lucky that Zyon was there to intervene, as I think the Raging Bull was about to rip Spike's face off," Comet says. "He should have! You do not lariat a guy that uses the Western lariat as a finisher! Hell, you don't lariat a guy that much bigger than you in the first place, regardless of his finishing move, but especially not if his lariat nearly kills people. Maybe Jenkins will track down Va'aiga and lariat him," King mutters. Zyon picks the Doomtopian off the mat and threads Jimmy's left arm between his legs while 'Hollywood' slaps an inverted facelock on Manson. The Unique Youth also hooks a facelock on the Straight-Breader and scoops him up. Jenkins tries to spin the Stampede around, but Manson lifts Spike up. Zyon plants Jimmy the Doom, and at the same time, Manson drives Spike Jenkins into the mat. "911 Aero Driver from Zyon to Jimmy the Doom!" Comet screams. "And Manson countered the Clean Living into a tombstone piledriver of sorts!" King yells. Zyon is the first to make a cover, so naturally, Nick Soapdish counts it. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! "Kick out from Jimmy the Doom! I don't believe it, but Doom just kicked out of the 911 Aero Driver!" Comet shouts. Soapdish doesn't have time to freak out over Jimmy kicking out, so he moves on to count Manson's pin on Spike Jenkins. ONE! TWO! THREE-No! "And a shoulder up from Spike Jenkins! It's a toss up as to which team has the better shot of winning this match, though." "It's obviously Manson and Jimmy the Doom. They're much stronger and tougher than Spike Jenkins and Zyon, and even without the hindrance those shackles cause, it wouldn't be enough," King points out. Manson gets to his feet moments before Zyon does. The Raging Bull sizes the Unique Youth up and charges, knocking him flat with a lariat. BIMETALLISM! "Western Lariat from Manson! This should be it!" Comet screams. Manson makes a lateral press as 'Hollywood' begins to stir. ONE! Spike looks up and starts to drag himself towards Manson and Zyon. TWO! Jenkins inches ever closer to the Raging Bull and the Unique Youth, while Jimmy the Doom sits up. THREE! NO! "Spike Jenkins with the save in the nick of time! He barely managed to pull Manson off of Zyon, but it was enough to break the pin!" Comet exclaims. "Dang this match is taking a long time," King says. "But it's exciting, King! WHOO-HOO!" Comet yells. "Die," King mutters. Manson rises to his feet and swings for Spike's head, but Jenkins ducks down and drives a shotei in the Raging Bull's groin. The Stampede slumps down, and as he does so, 'Hollywood' gets a full view of a standing Jimmy the Doom. The Straight-Bread Sensation rushes for Spike and leaps, slamming a boot into his face. FATUOUS! "What a flying snap kick from Jimmy the Doom! He sailed over his partner, Manson, to smash Spike Jenkins' face into pulp!" "So, you're saying drastic improvement for Spike in the looks department?" King asks. "Zing!" Comet replies. The Doomtopian ignores Jenkins for the time being, figuring he's pretty much out of the match, and heads over to Zyon. The Straight-Bread Sensation pulls the Unique Youth off the mat, performs an armwringer, and cracks him with a kick to the stomach. Jimmy follows up with a knee to the face, straightening Zyon up. VOLTAIC! The Straight-Breader throws a flurry of kicks to the back of Zyon's legs, dropping him into a kneeling position. Jimmy the Doom takes a step back and smashes a roundhouse into the Unique Youth's face, knocking him over. BALEEN! "Doomsday! This has got to be it!" Comet shouts. "Yeah, I've got to think so, too," King states. Jimmy makes a lateral press while Manson slowly begins to get up after his low blow. ONE! Spike rolls over. TWO! Jenkins pushes himself up as the Raging Bull notices 'Hollywood' beginning to move about. THREE! DISPUTATION! Manson punts Spike in the face and Nick Soapdish jumps up to call for the bell. DING! DING! DING! "The winners of this match, and advancing to Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Four at From the Fire, while you worthless dregs of society remain in prison where you belong, THE STRAIGHT-BREAD SENSATION, JJIIMMEEE THE DOOOM AND MMAAANSON!" Funyon shouts. "Well, it looks like the lack of movement really hurt Zyon and Spike Jenkins, allowing Jimmy the Doom and Manson to pick up the win here tonight, which means they're going to the Lethal Lottery finals, as Funyon said." "I think it was more that Manson and Jimmy outpowered Zyon and Spike, and even in a standard match, no amount of speed was going to help," King says. Jimmy and Manson head back to get freed, while Lockdown fades to a commercial.

Demonstar onto conveniently placed jagged rocks, or standard?

Have...have a (weed) whacking good time? Sure, totally. Do it. DO IT NOW!

That would have been awesome.

Antelope Interlopers Cantaloupe Interlopers Eloping Antelope Eloping Interlopers Eloping Cantaloupe Interloping Cantaloupe Elopes with Antelope Or some variation of any of those.

Yeah, I remember that the first website had a few articles. Also, I'm thinking about trying to revive the match of the night dealie, or maybe halfway rip off the HOLT report (Unless WC wants to do it) though that'd mostly be a top pops/heat list, or a "I liked this segment, but not that one." It could go on the web site.

Word? Word! Bust it! It was kind of difficult to find the damn lyrics, as some had MC Shan saying "jiggy, jiggy girl", Snow saying "Why would he?" instead of "Why worry?", and then a few sites just put question marks after some lines. "Together we-a love 'em as a Tor-Na-Do (?)" Shit, you guys don't know what he said either? I was thinking of trying to transcribe it myself, but most of it would end up being "Ma-mu-uh um-ah-eh". Oh, yeah. Thanks for the fix, Zedzilla.

Might want to read this first: After hours ---- CLICKITY-CLICK-CLACK-CLACKITY-CLICKITY-CLICK-CLICK-CLACK The insanely loud sound of someone typing on a keyboard in the presence of a camera breaks the relative quiet of The Net Sack, a San Francisco internet cafe, which has killed the accent mark, and never wishes it be seen again. Jimmy the Doom, disguised with a hooded plaid suit jacket and shiny gold genie pants (Or MC Hammer pants if you wish), is seated at a corner table, most likely putting off until the last possible moment of going to San Quentin. Perhaps if he weren't six-five, he'd be getting his face punched, but, then again, this is an internet cafe. Anyway, Doom is once again surfing on over to the SWF forums, and is back at the 'Jimmy the Doom' thread. DJ_Doom writes: 'You know, even if that "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan guy is gay, I kind of agree with him. Jimmy the Doom is a good wrestler. He's good at karate, and I like that Jimmy Plex he does.' Apparently, Jimmy has signed up, and has already been here, trying to defend himself. Flesher_Plex writes: 'You're joking, right? Jimmy is a gay retard! So what if he can kick people, or that he's tough? Wait, I know what's going on. "Bollywood" signed up with this name, and is trying to make it look like other people agree with him.' "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan writes: 'Fuck you, Doom, I'm not gay! I don't even want to try and defend you or Jimmy the Doom, man. Fucking asshole.' ToxxixSox writes: 'LOL! This Doom guy is as stupid as his namesake.' SacredsDeadWife writes: 'I don't know, that whole 'straight-bread' thing is funny. I mean, those stupid straight-edge idiots annoy the shit out of me, so it's good to see someone making fun of them.' Flesher_Plex writes: 'Okay, he's done one thing that doesn't totally suck balls, but it's still not great. I agree, though, those straight-edge gay-buckets are retarded. Real men smoke and drink.' Three_of_Clubs writes: 'Actually, Flesher, real men also put stuff on their bread, too.' Doom halfway closes his laptop to dig in his jacket pocket and pull out a pack of cigarettes. Jimmy shakes one out, and promptly pops it into his mouth. He chews it briefly, apparently rehydrating the tobacco, and then swallows. The Doomtopian reaches down on the floor and brings up a bottle of Midnight Hobo wine stuffed in a hollow loaf of sourdough rather than the standard paper sack. Thankfully, Jimmy takes a pull, rather than...honestly, who knows what he might have done. He ate a cigarette! After his refreshments, he resumes going through past posts. DJ_Doom writes: 'What? I really think that Jimmy the Doom is straight-bread, and it's not a joke. And "Bollywod", everyone else was saying you were gay, so I thought you were.' "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan writes: 'You can't be serious. Even a fucking moron, which you seem to be, would know that Flesher_Plex, that asshole, only said I was gay as an insult.' DJ_Doom writes: 'Look, I said I was sorry. I am new to the internets, so I didn't know what they were saying wasn't true. You guys have to admit, though, that Doom isn't all bad, since he's in the semi-finals of the Lethal Lottery.' JayJayJay writes: 'Are you kidding? Manson is the reason they won all of the matches! Doom lost to a fuckin' octopus!' ToxxixSox writes: 'Actually, Doom beat Jay Hawke when Manson and Griffon left in the middle.' Flesher_Plex writes: 'All that means is Doom can get hit with a belt shot and not go down completely.' DJ_Doom writes: 'I don't know, guys. Hawke is a good wrestler, too. He's kept that title for a long time. Oh, and it's An Octopus, JayJayJay.' ToxxixSox writes: 'Good wrestler? He cheats whenever he's getting beaten so he gets to keep the belt!' DJ_Doom writes: 'I thought this was supposed to be about Jimmy the Doom. After learning about it from him, I've gone straight-bread, too.' InsaneLuchasaurus writes: 'Wait, what? This loser is still up for discussion? I think Flesher_Plex said it best, Jimmy the Doom sucks.' DJ_Doom writes: 'No way! Jimmy the Doom is cool, man! He'll kick you in the face really hard. Straight fucking bread, man!' ~FactorBomb writes: 'Uh, no. No more about Jimmy the God damn Doom. He sucks, end of story. Thread closed.' With that thread closed, Jimmy heads over to a new one, created by himself, called Jimmy the Doom rules!. DJ_Doom writes: 'I don't know why, but the other one was closed, so I'm making this thread. I don't know why you guys don't like Jimmy. He's a good wrestler!' CuteThroat writes: 'Dude, stop now. Nobody but you, and maybe "Bollywood" can tolerate this guy. He just rubs people the wrong way.' ~FactorBomb writes: 'Too late. He's outta here.' Jimmy tries to add a reply in defense of himself, but finds the following message: You have been banned by the sexy moderator: FactorBomb. Sexy moderator FactorBomb's reason: Fucking douchetard won't shut the fuck up about fucking Jimmy the fucking Doom. Fuck. Sexy moderator FactorBomb has banned you for eternity. Have a good day, and if not, fuck off and die. Doom looks up from the screen and snaps off a piece of stale pita. The Doomtopian drags the sharp flatbread across his forearm, the news of being banned from a delightful message boarding experience, leaving him with nobody, not even the possibly not gay "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan, his only supporter, simply too much for him at this moment. What's up man! Hey yo what's up! Yeah what's goin' on here. Sick an' tired of five-oh runnin' up on the block here. You know what I'm sayin'? Yo Snow, they came around here lookin' for you the other day. Word? Word! Bust it! Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Police a comin for me now dey blow down me door, Breakin' de bar troo, troo my window, So dey put me in de back de car at de station, From that point on me reach my destination, Where the destination reachin, outta east detention, where the Looked down me pants, look up me bottom, so Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Bigger dem are they think dem have more power, Dep on de phone me say dat one hour, Me for want to use a once an' now me call me lover, Lover who me callin an' a one Tammy, An' me love 'er in my heart down to my belly, Yes a Daddy me Snow me I feel cool an' deadly, As the one MC Shan an' a one Dadda Snow, Together we-a love 'em is a Tor-Na-Do, so Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Listen for me, you better listen for me now. Listen for me, you better listen for me now. When me rockin' the microphone me rock on steady, Yes a Daddy me Snow me are de article dan. But in a in an' a out de dance em Aye say where you come from a, People em say ya come from Jamaica, But me born an' raised in the ghetto that I want yas to know, Pure black people mon is all I mon know. Yeah me shoes a an tear up an' now me toes is a show a Where me a born in are de one Toronto, so Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I"ll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I"ll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Come with a nice young lady. Intelligent, Yes she gentle-ly are-ee. Everywhere me go, me never lef her at all-ee. It's a Daddy Snow me are de rum dance man a Rom-ancin' a dancin' in a in a nation-a. You never know say Daddy me Snow me are de Boom Shakata. Me never lay-a down flat in dat one cardboard box a This a Daddy me Snow me I'll go reachin' at de top, so... Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Why worry? Why worry? Em worry Em worry. Me sittin' 'round cool with my dibbie dibbie girl, Police knock my door, Lick up my pal, Rough me up an' I can't do a thing Pick up my line, when my telephone ring. Take me to the station, Black up my hands. Trail me down, 'cuz I'm hangin' with the Snowman, What I'm gonna do, I'm backed an' I'm trapped, Slap me in the face an' took all o' my gap. They have no clues an' they wanna get warmer, But Shan won't turn Informer! Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, A licky Boom Boom Down. Detective mon a says a did a me Snow me stab somewhere down the lane, A licky Boom Boom Down. Deedley dum Deedley Deedley Dum Dem Worry Em worry Em worry Em worry.