Angel_Grace_Blue

Wow. Two guys gone due to injury. Also, Tiny actually posted a non-sucking year. And Nigel is the best TSM pitcher ever.

OH MY GODZY! SPIKE JANKENS BEINGZ TEH DANE COOK! Or, just a big fan. Good promo, Spikey.

Doodle-doo! Doodle-doo! Mystery! Mystery! Whoo! Whoo! Erm, yeah...good promo, but it is kind of obvious that your partner is Exploding Chicken, man.

Pfft. Like it matters to your team. You've got an active writer as a team mate. CC: Being super-subtle since FOREVER.

Yes, only made from an old soup can and bits of string. And a kitten. He kinda rides on top, checking things out.

Thanks for the feedbacks and such. It's just nifty to finally see this idea I've had for a while now take shape. I originally gave it to Supes for The Masked Man, but he kinda no-sold it, then mentioned it in passing to JJ, but even in doing so, it didn't seem to fit his character, and I'd just returned, so, here it is. And yes, "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan is indeed a great name. Also, it's weird that Flesher_Plex has some of Tom's (The character) ass holish qualities, only he's far less eloquent. Finally, sorry, Muzz.

Jimmy the Doom sits down heavily in a dim locker room, icepack strapped to his head. He flips open his laptop and starts typing away, the keyboard amplified tenfold for the benefit of the camera in the room, because if they were at a normal volume, nobody would be able to tell what Jimmy is doing. CLICK-CLICK-CLACK-CLACK-CLICK-CLACK-CLICK BOOP-BEEP-BOOP-DOOP-BEEP A web page loads, displaying the Smarks Wrestling Federation logo, and it's obvious that Doom is at the official SWF website. It's current and frequently updated to boot! CLICK! Doom heads on over to the SWF forums, apparently curious as to what the fans think about him and his superstar comrades. His Doomtopian eyes light up as his cursor hovers above a topic titled 'Jimmy the Doom'. What luck! Flesher_Plex writes: 'So, what do you guys think of Jimmy the Doom? I can't believe he actually came back. He fucking sucks. I was actually cheering for Magnifico in their match, that's how much I can't stand him.' MexicanPridePhil writes: 'Glad to have the support, even if it's only for one match, LOL. He is all gangly and awkward, though, like Stretch Armstrong or Gumby, only dumber and more useless.' ToxxixSox writes: 'Yeah, it's weird. I don't know why, but he just pisses me off. And he really needs to learn how to speak. I can never tell what he's saying. Plus, his wife or whatever is kinda ugly.' JayJayJay writes: 'Not to mention he looks like a complete jackass. A gay jackass.' Three_of_Clubs writes: 'If you want to get into gay shit, what about that flying hug thing he does? Total queerwad.' "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan writes: 'I don't know, I think he's cool. I mean, he's tough, and he's a good martial artist and everything. He does dress kind of weird, but he's a good wrestler.' Flesher_Plex writes: ' "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan writes: 'I don't know, I think he's cool. I mean, he's tough, and he's a good martial artist and everything. He does dress kind of weird, but he's a good wrestler.' STFU NOOB!' CuteThroat writes: 'Yeah, he is totally gross-looking. His beard and mustache are really creepy. And I agree with Flesher, I'd actually cheer guys like Magnifico and Maddix if they were against Jimmy.' "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan writes: 'Screw you, Flesher_Plex! You asked my opinion, and I said it. Anyway, something weird happened. I googled Doomtopia, and nothing came up. Nothing on Wikipedia, and I can't find it on any globe.' JayJayJay writes: 'Pfft @ Jimmy being a good martial artist. I could totally kick his ass in a fight. Of course, he'd probably be trying to grab my ass, since he's obviously gayz0r.' Three_of_Clubs writes: 'And his entrance is so stupid! He's got the druids, and it seems like it's cool, but then that lame Benny Hill song comes on. And druids are retarded anyway.' SacredsDeadWife writes: 'And that stupid move of his with the name that he ripped off from Maddix. I did cheer when he landed on his head, though. Too bad he got up.' BlankSlate writes: 'And he's a stupid foreigner. I don't give a shit about his damn Doomtopian History or whatever the hell he was talking about. Why can't the SWF just have USA wrestlers?' ToxxixSox writes: 'SacredsDeadWife writes: I did cheer when he landed on his head, though. Too bad he got up.' Dude, don't joke about that stuff. Even if he is shitty, do you want another MacPhisto or Kibagami?' Flesher_Plex writes: 'WTF Bollywood, I thought I told you already, but I guess I'll have to repeat myself: STFU NOOB!' InsaneLuchasaurus writes: 'Uh, Sox, you do know who you're named after right? I mean, if you're talking about broken necks, you can't forget Justin Bowers.' "Bollywood" Santosh Jeevan writes: 'Man, fuck you, Flesher. I was just trying to add to the conversation, but you're being a dickhole. I'm going to report you to a mod.' Flesher_Plex writes: 'You mean you're going to have gay BUTT sex with your gay BUTT sex boyfriend Jimmy the Gay.' SacredsDeadWife writes: 'LOL! Man, Flesher, that was harsh, but it was hilarious, too!' Flesher_Plex writes: 'These kids got to know, though. You can't come in here and disagree with the Flesher_Plex, especially if you're have gay BUTT sex with other gay BUTT sex having people because you are a gay person, like this gay jackass is.' Boooop With that, Jimmy the Doom turns off his laptop and contemplates what's just happened: Nearly everybody hates him, and his one supporter is a gay homosexual that wishes to have gay BUTT sex with him. As the light from the screen fades, the camera zooms out, displaying a solitary tear rolling down his cheek. I open my eyes I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm lyin' here tonight And I can't stand the pain And I can't make it go away No I can't stand the pain How could this happen to me? I've made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me? Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me I'm slipping off the edge I'm hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered And I can't explain what happened And I can't erase the things that I've done No I can't How could this happen to me? I've made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me? I've made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me?

Yeah, sorry about that; Jay indicated to me that he might not be able to get something in for the show, but I can't write promos for shit, and couldn't come up with anything. Yeah. My phone company has gotten into the habit of sending me disconnection notices before the bills. So my net access this week was largely at work on breaks, and I'm not technically supposed to use work computers for fantasy wrestling. We're working on it though. That's good, you should get that policy changed.

Jimmy the Doom is fight! He with fight on anyone.

Then Jimmy will bring out the Doomtopian Crown, an award only citizens of Doomtopia are eligible to compete for. Not to mention that Lois the Unethical will smash everyone into bits. Also, DOOMOSITY will destroy everyone with eye lasers and unintelligible speaking.

Yes, because you didn't tell GM about it. I remember back in the IGNWF, I had a plan for Prime Evil to abduct me in the middle of a parking-lot brawl for the Hardcore Gamers title. I could have kept it from Grimedogg, and probably won with it, but I let him know before hand. I'm of the mind that anything important should be told to the opponent, either an injury to put your own wrestler away for a while, or a turn, or whatever. The SWF needs Rules of Discovery.

Yeah. If nothing else, GM could have fended off Cattle Prod McGee, or something similar.

You know, I have to ask Bruce something about his match: What the hell was with red mask guy? The rest of the match was good, though I was hoping for a QWERTY joke with the keyboard spot, but the ending was just a 'the hell?' moment for me, at least. I will now try to finish the rest of the show and post comments about the remaining matches and such.

w00t for Team DOOMOSITY! That Griffon/Cross match...I thought we had a strict do not rend your opponent limb from limb unless you are specifically told to do so, but I could be wrong on that, and I could have also misread the match. Because I'm teh stoopid. Yeah, I jobbed to The Crimson Skull. Why, you might ask? To keep Heff around, of course! Also, holy crap, I used Fugue (Or FOOG) as referee in my match and it actually won! As for that confusing promo, I don't know if I'll do all 90 parts, but it will help me to promo semi-often, as I typically don't. Just a way to make sure I submit something to every show, whether I'm booked or not. Now, on to shit I didn't write (Well, I didn't write the Griffon/Cross match, but...porcupines) It's Team Kibagami, even though I don't think I was around for Aidan Redmond. Too bad they don't have a Demolition-style tag team for the tourney. Of course, they'd just no-show, because it's Kibs. GRRR! Maddix amz beingz serious angsty man! I much enjoyed the commercials and promos I having been to read. I need to check out the rest of the show, and finish up with teh commentings.

Damn, I wish I cared enough about the Grammys so I could have caught that.

In your pants? Also, holy crap, I suck for not yet having commented on this awesometacular Wes Davenport promo. It's awesometacular to the Xtreme!

At least Wilbon won't be able to rip on him about not going to games.

Firstly, I have ask IL about his prediction - are you pulling your own johnson, or Johnson's johnson? Either way, no need to inform us, you silly person. MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE BOUT, SUBMISSION MATCH El Luchadore Magnifico© vs JJ Johnson SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTATOR: Wes Davenport Hmm. JJ to win via test of strength. SINGLES MATCH "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu vs Todd Cortez I'll say Cortez, unless some semi-crappy movie has been on TV, in which case, Windosaurus. No, wait, it should be Windadactyl. HARDCORE TITLE BOUT Bruce Blank© vs Ghost Machine 2.0 Ghosty Machiney 2.0y MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! The announcement is that Peters is going to be doing a collaboration album with Perfect Bo. SINGLES MATCH Laberinto vs "The Icon" Max King I'll go with teh King and his giant plastic head. CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT, TRIPLE THREAT Zyon© vs Kevin Coyote vs Christian Fury Fury's not bad, but I can see Zyon retaining. Coyote gets jumped by Ebony pre-match and is never heard from again. SINGLES MATCH Amy Stephens vs Insane Luchador I'm going to go with Luchador, though Ms Toxxic isn't too bad. Dude, Amy Stephens should dress exactly like Toxxic, but just put a giant red bow on top of her head. SINGLES MATCH Jimmy the Doom vs The Crimson Skull The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers come down and kick our ass and sparks fly off our chest. Shit, I should totally write a match with sparks. None of you are allowed to steal that idea or I will kill you with a giraffe. OPENING BOUT SINGLES MATCH Archie Griffon vs Michael Cross Griffon and teh Fuvolution yayz.

Considering that I only started to write either Friday or Saturday, and shit, I wasn't even booked, this wasn't too bad, I guess, up until the end where I just rushed everything. ======== Another video for the main event between El Luchadore Magnifico and JJ Johnson finishes up, proclaiming that, among US fans, the winner will still be an unwashed foreigner that uses slang words incorrectly, and the acne-wracked body of Johnathan Taylor Thomas moves a camera to focus on the Suicide King and Longdogger Pete. "It's time, it's time! Clusterfuck time, that is!" Pete exclaims. "No, it's Miller time!" King slurs before downing another brew. "No, King, it's time for the twenty-person Clusterfuck," Pete corrects. "Well, I'm drunk, and your mother is a whore, so what difference does it make?" King asks. Before Peter has a chance to retort, the lights increase in intensity and Lamb of God's "Black Label" roars over the speakers. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Clusterfuck! Introducing first, from Hollywood, California, Spike Jenny...Jenny...JENK-ins!" Funyon sputters. Spike heads down to the ring, focused on the imposing task at hand. Jenkins slides into the ring and waits for the second entrant. Bouncing Souls' "Ole" blares and out walks the masked Laberinto. "And now, from Tocula, Mexico, Laberinto!" Funyon exclaims. The luchador hops into the ring and Vlade Divac flips over the giant hour (In reality a two minute) glass and the match begins. DING! DING! DING! Immediately, the bigger Jenkins levels Laberinto with a lariat and starts stomping away at the less-talented Mexican wrestler. "Looks like Spike wants to take care of Laberinto early on," Pete notes. "And it looks like some rat bastard theif has stolen my pants!" King exclaims, and sure enough, it appears that he's converted to the First Church of NTD. Jenkins picks Laberinto up and attempts to toss the luchador over the top, but the smaller man wheels around, burying his knee in Spike's gut. Laberinto blasts 'Hollywood' with a kick to the face and sends him reeling with a knife edged chop to Spike's chest. Laberinto grabs hold of Jenkins's arm and tries to force Spike to the ropes, but 'Hollywood' stands his ground. Spike whips out with his free arm and cracks Laberinto in the jaw with a shotei. A second palm strike uppercut forces the luchador to release his grip and allows Jenkins to whip the Mexican into the ropes. 'Hollywood' steps in and nails him with a superkick, instantly dropping Laberinto. "There goes the Last Dance from Jenkins! He might be able to dump Laberinto over the top rope right now." "And I'm going to puke in your shoes in a second." "Once again, insightful commentary from the Suicide King," Pete mutters. Spike pulls Laberinto off the mat and gets smacked with a forearm. Spike fires back with a knee to the gut and grabs the smaller man around his chest. Jenkins drops down, driving Laberinto's throat into Spike's shoulder. 'Hollywood' races for the ropes, bounces back and nails Laberinto in the back of the head. "The Minor Threat followed up with a Dangerous Wizard! Jenkins has a perfect opportunity to eliminate the rookie Laberinto and rest until the next contestant enters, which should be shortly," Pete says. "Mr. Beam, where have you been? Jack Daniels has been waiting in my stomach for you for quite some time!" King exclaims before downing the better part of a bottle of whiskey. Jenkins hauls Laberinto off his feet, grabs him by the back of the head, and rushes to the ropes. However, the little guy clamps on to the cables, prompting Spike to lay into him with kicks. CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! Vlade Divac rings a bell and flips over the two minute glass as "Wollt Ihr Das Bett In Flammen Sehen?" by Rammstein blares and 'The Rage' Jason Von Dierch hauls ass down the ramp. Jason hops onto the apron and blasts Jenkins with a jab before climbing betwixt the ropes. Jason swings on 'Hollywood', but the straight-edger ducks out of the way. Von Dierch dives for Spike, but eats a knee for his troubles. "And now 'The Rage' Jason Von Dierch joins the fray, which could either make things easier or more difficult depending on how Spike Jenkins and Laberinto play this," Longdogger points out. "Well, it's been my experience that all Germanians should be kicked in the junk. You know, for sinking the Apollo." Laberinto risks a backwards glance then springs onto the middle rope before flipping backwards. He snares Von Dierch on the way down with a front facelock, and spikes 'The Rage' with a DDT. Jenkins pounces on the downed Von Dierch and begins stomping away, joined shortly by Laberinto. 'Hollywood' and his new-found partner pull Jason to his feet and whip him into the ropes. 'The Rage' bounces off and launches himself at Spike and Laberinto, taking both men down with a double clothesline. Laberinto is first up and Von Dierch knocks him back down with a lariat. Jenkins gets up, charges Jason, and both men get taken out with lariats Jason rises, but is sent back to the mat from a Laberinto dropkick. Jenkins gets up rushes towards Laberinto and yanks him down with a neckbreaker. "Phantom Neckbreaker on Laberinto from Spike Jenkins, and it looks like their partnership is very short-lived," Pete states. "I'm going to kill a tuba!" King shouts. Spike pulls Laberinto up and smacks him with a shotei. 'Hollywood' spins the Mexican labyrinth around and slaps on a reverse front facelock. However, before he can finish the Clean Living, Jason Von Dierch bull rushes him and applies a rear waistlock. 'The Rage' pops his hips and sends Jenkins to the mat with a German suplex. "Jenkins almost hit the Clean Living, but Jason Von Dierch with a German suplex, which, in his land, is just called a suplex," Pete states. "Well, why don't you whore your face?" King inquires. "You face whore." BONG! BONG! BONG! Divac bangs a gong and flips the glass while Cypress Hill's "How I Could Just Kill A Man" rips over the public address system, prompting the arrival of Stryke. The Australian heads down the ramp and slides in the ring, cracking Laberinto in the jaw with a forearm. Stryke quickly snares Laberinto around the head and drops him to the mat. Stryke pops up after the DDT and right into a quick belly-to-belly suplex from Jason Von Dierch. 'The Rage' slides forward and starts raining down punches on Stryke's face. Spike Jenkins quickly puts and end to the attack, though, with a kick to the chest. 'Hollywood' blasts Von Dierch again in the chest, takes a step back, and nails him in the head. "Spike Jenkins saved Stryke there with that kick combination. With four men in the ring now, there's a good chance for them to just pair off, but anything can happen in a Clusterfuck match," Pete says. "I will rape your panda for a box of sand," King mumbles. "I'm just glad we're on Pay-Per-View," Longdogger mutters. Laberinto climbs to his feet runs at Jenkins and flies through the air, knocking 'Hollywood' down with a forearm smash. Laberinto pops to his feet, turns around and barely dodges a left hook from Jason Von Dierch. Laberinto snaps off a kick but 'The Rage' fires back with an uppercut. Jason swiftly slips behind the luchador, yanks on his mask, and drives him into the mat with a reverse DDT. 'The Rage' pulls Laberinto back up and slaps on a full nelson before shooting the Mexican over his head with a suplex. Von Dierch climbs to his feet but crumples after an enziguiri from Stryke. "Nice jumping enziguiri from Stryke to keep 'The Rage' in check." "Did you steal my hands?" King asks. "Cause, I can't feel them right now." Jenkins gets to his feet and instantly find Stryke racing towards him. Spike crouches down, scoops the Aussie off the mat and drops him throat-first across the top rope. "Hot shot from Spike Jenkins, but he could have just eliminated Stryke right there! Big mistake from 'Hollywood'." "No, The Pink Panther remake is a big mistake from Hollywood. Fuckin' Peter Sellers is classic!" King yells. Spike drops Stryke with a quick DDT, but can't focus on him as Laberinto is on his feet. Jenkins charges and nails the luchador with a spinning elbow, sending him into the ropes. BAAA! BAAA! BAAA! Vlade boots a nearby goat in the stomach and flips the two minute glass as Mastodon's "Crusher Destroyer" blasts over the speakers. Manson marches down the ramp just as 'Hollywood' speeds towards Laberinto and boots him over the top rope. ##### Name: Laberinto Time Entered: 0:00 Time Eliminated: 6:03 Eliminated By: Spike Jenkins Eliminations: None ##### "Roaring elbow-Yakuza kick combination from Spike Jenkins to get himself the first elimination of the night. However, we all know that it comes down to who gets the last elimination that counts," Pete says. Manson grabs Laberinto by the neck and slams him into the crowd barricade before entering the ring. Jenkins fires off a shotei into Manson's face, but the Stampede cracks 'Hollywood' with a headbutt. Manson nails Spike with an elbow and follows that up with a swift boot to the stomach. Jenkins doubles up, allowing the Raging Bull to hoist Spike off the mat and slam him with a powerbomb. Manson spins around and right into a lariat from 'The Rage'. Von Dierch dives for the Stampede's legs, looking for a double leg takedown, but Manson picks Jason up and drops down. "He hasn't even been in the ring for a minute, but already Manson is cleaning house! He made short work of Spike Jenkins with a powerbomb, and then Jason Von Dierch with a backbreaker. Of course, he's yet to eliminate anyone, but if he keeps up this pace, he'll be all alone in the ring and waiting for the next entrant," Pete says. "Fuckin' Geraniums..." Manson picks Jason off the mat and looks to dump him over the top, but is thwarted in the form of a double axhandle from Stryke. The Raging Bull whips around and blasts Stryke with a right hand, but the Australian fires back. Manson nails Stryke with an elbow, but he answers with one of his own. Manson punches Stryke in the face, but gets a headbutt in return. "Looks like a slugfest is developing between Stryke and Manson, but I don't think that Stryke can last much longer against the Stampede. To be concise, Stryke can't trade strikes with Manson." "Fine, then let me do it!" King shouts and begins trying to climb over the announcers' table. However, Longdogger Pete quickly pulls him back into his seat. Manson seems to be growing tired of this duel and fires off a stiff uppercut. Stryke stumbles backwards and gets smacked with a running knee. Before Manson can attempt to toss Stryke over the top, Spike Jenkins kicks the Raging Bull in the knee. Manson swings for Spike's head, but the cruiser ducks out of the way. The Raging Bull spins, and, much like a bull, charges 'Hollywood', only to get cut down with a soccer tackle. CLANK! The sound of Vlade missing a clutch free throw off the front of the rim echoes throughout the building, but it is quickly replaced with the Black Eyed Peas' "Anxiety", prompting Christian Fury to ramble down to the ring. Fury hops in and kicks 'Hollywood' in the face. Spike lashes out with a kick of his own, but both men are quickly taken down by a Stryke flying tackle. The Aussie climbs to his feet, but instantly finds himself being choked out by Jason Von Dierch. "Iron Curtain from 'the Rage'! He's got that cinched in tight, and were this a regular match, I don't think Stryke would last much longer!" Pete shills. "There is no chowder to be found in Pittsburgh," King adds between shots of gin. Stryke slowly falls backwards, sandwiching Jason Von Dierch between himself and the mat. This leaves his torso completely open to a flurry of stomps from Manson. Fury gets to his feet and dropkicks the Raging Bull in the back. Manson turns to face the Fury and rocks him with a punch. The Stampede knees Christian in the groin, slaps on a front facelock, and delivers a spinning Fisherman's suplex. "Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza from Manson!" "And a White Russian for me!" 'The Rage', realizing he can't win via submission yet, pushes Stryke away and gets to his feet, only to become engaged in a punching battle with 'the Raging Bull'. The larger Manson quickly overpowers Von Dierch and shoots him towards the ropes, but Jason collides with a rising Spike Jenkins. Von Dierch slowly climbs back to his feet, only to nearly be decapitated by a lariat from Manson, sending 'the Rage' over the top rope and out of the match. ##### Name: "The Rage" Jason Von Dierch Time Entered: 2:00 Time Eliminated: 9:39 Eliminated By: Manson Eliminations: None ##### "And Jason Von Dierch is gone after that lariat from Manson!" Longdogger shouts. "Fuck yeah! Boo Germs!" King yells. Spike, still on the mat, kicks Manson in the back of the knee, allowing Christian Fury to drop the Stampede with a DDT. Fury turns his attention on the now standing Jenkins, and the two cruisers begin trading blows before the fresher Fury knocks 'Hollywood' down with a spinning heel kick. KA-BLAMO! The sound of Vlade shooting Franz Ferdinand bassist Robert Hardy rings out but is quickly replaced with some crazy-ass robot music and Ghost Machine is shoved down the ramp by a surly Chris Belcourt. Ghost stumbles, trips over his feet, and rolls the rest of the way down to the ring. The Machine pulls himself up and slides into the ring, but prior to reaching a vertical base, Chris Fury kicks him in the face. Machine barely registers the attack, though, stands up, and buries a shotei in Fury's stomach. Ghost Machine lands another palm strike, this time to the face, and plants Christian with a big boot. Ghost Machine looks around and heads for a rising Stryke, knocking him back down with another big boot. "Shining Black from Ghost Machine! He's starting to take advantage, but there's still quite a few men to enter the match yet." Manson climbs to his feet, spots Ghost, and charges, knocking the possible robot flat with a shoulder block. The Raging Bull stomps the downed Machine, but he quickly gets back to his feet. Manson crashes a fist into Ghost's head and then lands a chop to his throat, either disrupting airflow to his lungs, or blocking a cooling vent. Either way, it allows the Raging Bull to launch Ghost Machine with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Manson wheels around and levels Spike Jenkins with a flurry of punches and is on his way towards eliminating 'Hollywood' when the Fury decks him. Manson blasts Christian with a kick to the ribcage, grabs him by the hair, and tosses Fury over the top rope. ##### Name: Christian Fury Time Entered: 8:00 Time Eliminated: 11:02 Eliminated By: Manson Eliminations: None ##### "Manson with his second elimination so far, and he's proving to be one person you do not want to mess with," Pete says, as if anyone needed to be reminded of this fact since Manson melted his first Nazi face. "I am Captain of the S.S. Vodka Ship!" King exclaims, and even has a hat made from discarded bottle labels to prove it. Manson turns towards the ring and gets nailed with a palm strike from Ghost Machine. The Stampede backs Machine away with two quick chops and follows up with a kick to the knee. Manson boots Ghost in the knee again and then simply overpowers him, forcing the maybe metal man to the ground with a STO. Manson can't capitalize (On the situation. He can make capital letters and everything, he's not mentally deficient or anything.) as Stryke yanks the Raging Bull to the mat with a neckbreaker. Stryke pops up to his feet and leaps, landing on Manson's chest with a double stomp. Stryke stomps Manson's face before Spike knocks him to the mat with a dropkick. "If Spike Jenkins and Stryke were smart, they'd team up and work together to eliminate Manson," Pete notes. "And if I had more mouths, I'd be more drunker," King points out. Spike rises to his feet and fires off a superkick at Stryke, who barely manages to avoid the blow. The Aussie lashes out with a kick of his own that just manages to connect with Spike's chest. 'Hollywood' throws a wild lariat that sends Stryke stumbling and follows up with a roaring elbow. Meanwhile, in another part of the ring, Manson is slowly getting to his feet and heading towards the two smaller wrestlers. However, he's stopped in his tracks from a clubbing blow to the back from Ghost Machine. Manson spins around and gets nailed with a palm strike. BONG! Jamie Drazon inexplicably runs out, shouts out that two minutes have expired and exits just as quickly. KC and the Sunshine Band's "I'm Your Boogie Man" plays and the 70s Dude struts down the ramp to enter the fray. He slides in and knocks Manson off his feet with a flying tackle. Ghost Machine takes up the fight and knocks him to one knee with a headbutt. Manson slowly picks himself up off the mat and punts the 70s Dude in the teeth. "It looks like Manson and Ghost Machine have teamed up to take on the 70s Dude, but how long with it last?" Pete asks. "Hopefully longer than my bladder can hold, because I just pissed on your coat," King answers. Manson and Machine continue to beat on the Dude, but he starts fighting back, first landing a punch to the Stampede's groin. Ghost slaps the 70s Dude across the cheek, but is raked across the eyes. 70s Dude slowly gets to his feet, but a charging Spike Jenkins takes him down with a neckbreaker. "Phantom Neckbreaker from 'Hollywood', and now just about everyone is beating up the 70s Dude! I suppose they're more fans of the 80s." "I like 80 proof booze..." King mumbles. The group attack doesn't last long, though, as Stryke sends Jenkins crashing down with a dropkick. 70s Dude climbs to his feet, wraps his arms around Stryke, and takes the Aussie down with a Russian leg sweep. He gets back up, but is nailed from behind by Manson. The Raging Bull lands another kick and is joined by Ghost Machine. ZZZZAP! A bat gets caught in Vlade's bug zapper, announcing the next entrant. OK Go's "Get Over It" roars and Wes Davenport walks down the ramp, trying to take as much time as possible, being as he's not particularly interested in entering such a chaotic match until he has the chance to not get pummeled immediately. Machine grabs hold of the 70s Dude, attempts an Irish whip, but gets it reversed. 70s Dude races after Ghost, but the psuedo man-bot ducks low and launches the 70s Dude over the top rope where Wes Davenport barely avoids being flattened by almost 300 pounds of bad fashion. ##### Name: The 70s Dude Time Entered: 12:00 Time Eliminated: 14:07 Eliminated By: Ghost Machine Eliminations: None ##### "And the 70s Dude is gone!" "As are my basic motor functions!" King exclaims. Davenport climbs up the steps, but is still hesitant in entering the ring. He finally sees his chance, enters, and hauls Stryke to the mat with a Scorpion Death Drop. Wes picks the Aussie off the mat and lays into him with an European uppercut. Davenport lands another before planting Stryke with a spinebuster. The former actor makes to pull Stryke back up, but is stopped by a stinging kick to the back from Spike Jenkins. Davenport turns around and eats a kick to the face. Wes quickly backpedals, but right into Manson. In an act of blind despiration, Davenport swings backwards and buries his elbow into squishy abdomen. Wes whips around, snatches the Raging Bull off his feet, and quickly plants the Stampede with a snap powerbomb. Davenport looks up and his eyes go wide with fright as he's knocked flat by an oncoming big boot courtesy of Ghost Machine. "Wes Davenport made a nice impact early on, but Ghost Machine just dropped him with that Yakuza kick. Now it looks like Spike Jenkins and the possible robot but maybe just a guy are the only two men standing. They could either work together and eliminate the bigger men like Manson and Wes Davenport, or they might just decide to beat the crap out of each other," Longdogger states. "Yeah, well, I'll crap out your face!" King replies. Spike looks towards Stryke for a moment, but turns his attention on Ghost Machine and rushes the masked entity. 'Hollywood' catches Ghost perfectly on the chest with a dropkick, but he or it remains standing. Jenkins gets back up, only to eat a shotei. Spike gets hit with another before Ghost slips behind 'Hollywood', wraps his arms around Spike's waist, and hoists him off the mat. Machine makes a half turn before falling backwards, driving Jenkins into the mat. "Backdrop Driver from Ghost Machine! That might give him the opportunity to eliminate Spike Jenkins." Ghost climbs back to his feet, but falls to his knees after a jumping enziguiri from Stryke. Stryke pulls Machine to his feet, locks on a front chancery, grabs Ghost's near leg and spins to the side. "Nice fisherman's neckbreaker from Stryke. He might be able to eliminate Ghost Machine if he works quickly." HORK! HORK! HORK! Divac's vomiting reverberates through the arena, signalling the next entrant. Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche's "Oh No" roars over the speakers and Todd Cortez emerges, running down the ramp. Todd slides in and smashes Stryke with a front kick. The Urban Legend bashes the Aussie with another kick before moving in close and nailing him with an European uppercut. Stryke stumbles away, disoriented, and this opens himself up for a short range Hollow Point. Todd mounts Stryke and drops a few clubbing forearms before getting hauled to his feet by Manson. The Raging Bull punches Cortez in the jaw, but the man from the streets, bitch, nails Manson with a superkick. The Stampede takes a step backwards before throwing an elbow that bashes Todd in the forehead. The Urban Legend fires off a quick European uppercut, knocking Manson into Ghost Machine's waiting arms, who launches the Raging Bull overhead with a release German suplex. "Nice suplex from Ghost Machine, and he should try to get rid of Manson right now," Pete says. "I'm going to get rid of your soul with my mind," King replies. Spike Jenkins gets back to his feet and knocks Ghost Machine to the mat with a dropkick. Ghost gets back up, but 'Hollywood' and Todd Cortez team up and plant him with a double suplex. "Nice teamwork from the two straight edgers, and as we all know, Cortez's Martial Law and Spike's Revolution Zero had some memorable matches a while back," Pete notes. "Yeah, well, I had some bourbon a few minutes ago, so top that!" Suicide King shouts. Jenkins and Cortez eye each other briefly before focusing on a rising Wes Davenport. The two cruisers link hands and charge the actor, looking to take him down with a double clothesline. However, Davenport sees it coming and drops to his stomach. Wes gets back to his feet and knocks the returning Spike and Todd down with a flying clothesline. Davenport hauls the Urban Legend up and fires off an European uppercut, which Todd answers with one of his own. Wes lands another, as does Cortez. Davenport snaps off yet another European uppercut, and before the Urban Legend can land one of his own, Wes puts him on his back with a crisp standing side kick. Spike Jenkins runs towards the actor, looking for a lariat, but Wes takes him down as well with a drop toe hold, causing 'Hollywood' to headbutt Todd Cortez in the ribs. POP! POP! POP! Vlade shoots Franz Ferdinand drummer Paul Thomson, signalling the next entrant. "My turn!" King exclaims, trying to enter the match (Still sans pants), but Pete corrals his drunk commentating partner back into his seat. Mary McBride's "No One's Gonna Love You Like Me" plays and Matt Myers walks out, extremely short cut-off jeans, a leather vest (No shirt) and pink cowboy hat on. He sashays down the ramp and slides inside the ring. "And now we've got what I'm going to wager is Matt 'Gay Cowboy' Myers in the match," Longdogger points out. "I wish he knew how to quit us!" King sobs. Myers slaps Wes, but is quickly met with an European uppercut. Matt nearly crumples, but stands up and nails Davenport with a super kick. Wes stumbles and the 'Gay Cowboy' drops him with a spinning wheel kick. Myers quickly turns his attention on Stryke, and buries a running knee into the Aussie's gut. Matt spins around, grabs Stryke by the head, and drives him into the mat with a Russian leg sweep. "Reach Around from Matt Myers! He's really taking it to these other competitors." Manson slowly rises and finds a 'Gay Cowboy' charging him down. Myers leaps in the air, but the cross body block attempt fails as the Raging Bull simply holds on to Matt and drops him with a backbreaker. Manson shoves Myers off his knee and his smacked by Ghost Machine. The Stampede clobbers Machine with a big right hand, but the robo sapien fires off a shotei. At the exact same time, Tony Herrera is eating a live lobster, and, perhaps more importantly, Spike Jenkins and Todd Cortez are back on their feet. Jenkins twirls around, looking for a roaring elbow, but finds instead one of Todd's hands clamped around his throat. The Urban Legend hoists 'Hollywood' off his feet and plants him. "Urban Assault from Todd Cortez!" "You know a good form of Urban Assault? A car bomb!" King exclaims before downing the drink. Cortez pushes Jenkins away to find Wes Davenport staring at him. Cortez snaps off a roundhouse, forcing Davenport against the ropes. The Urban Legend prepares for another devastating kick, but stops, his head snaps back, and he sneezes. Davenport drives his knee into Todd's face and launches the dazed grappler over the top rope. ##### Name: "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez Time Entered: 16:00 Time Eliminated: 19:20 Eliminated By: Wes Davenport Eliminations: None ##### Manson drops Ghost Machine after a trio of right hands to the jaw, and turns his attention on Wes Davenport. The Stampede runs towards Wes, gets scooped up, turned upside down, and gets planted with a piledriver. Wes climbs to his feet, only to get kicked in the stomach by Matt Myers. The 'Gay Cowboy' buries another boot into Davenport's midsection, then drops him with a bulldog. Matt rolls Wes over and drags him to a corner. Myers kicks away at Davenport before heading towards the center of the ring. 'Gay Cowboy' races towards the actor and leaps. "Bronco Buster from Matt Myers!" Myers gets up moments before Stryke does the same. Stryke heads towards 'Gay Cowboy' and misses with an European uppercut. Matt connects with a kick under the Aussie's chin. Myers wraps his arms around Stryke's head and drops to his knees, driving his shoulder into Stryke's jaw. Stryke shoots up, allowing Myers to wrap the Australian's own arm around his throat and drop to the mat. "Bareback Mountain followed up with the Jack fuckin' Twisting neckbreaker! He just might be able to eliminate Stryke after that offensive flurry," Pete states. "And I am in the process of eliminating any memory of the first twelve years of my life!" King shoots back, downing another bottle of gin. EL KABONG! Vlade breaks a guitar over the Pope's head, and David Bowe's "China Girl" plays, signalling the entrance of Candace Okimura. The Joshi Dragon darts down the ramp and slides into the ring. She heads straight for Matt Myers and blasts him with a dropkick, knocking him over the top rope, but 'Gay Cowboy' grasps the ropes, stoping himself inches from being eliminated. Okimura, though, is confident of her elimination and turns her attention towards Ghost Machine. She throws two kicks for Machine's head, but Ghost fires off a stepping shotei that knocks the tiny Candace flat. Ghost drops to the mat next to Okimura and locks on a body scissors. "Reclining body scissors from Ghost Machine, and it looks like Matt Myers has managed to slip back in the ring," Pete says. Spike Jenkins gets back to his feet slowly and heads towards Wes Davenport, still slumped in the corner. 'Hollywood' pulls up the actor and smacks him with a palm strike. Spike crashes a boot into Davenport's skull and then looks to dump Wes over the top rope. Davenport fights back, though, and drives an elbow into Spike's gut. Wes wraps Jenkins up in a front facelock, lifts, and drops 'Hollywood' with a brainbuster. Davenport gets back up and rushes a rising Manson, nailing him with a knee lift. The Stampede falls back down, but rolls through and gets to his feet, though quite disoriented. Davenport closes in and peppers the Raging Bull with European uppercuts before planting him with a spinebuster. Wes reaches down to lift Manson back up, but eats a kick from Stryke. "Stryke absolutely blowing a chance to help Wes Davenport eliminate Manson, but, then again, Stryke is an Australian, and that nation bosts more people accidentally locking themselves in sheds than any other," Pete points out. "Time for another Foster's!" King shouts, apparently drunk enough to stomach the horrible taste of the beer made from cane toad mucous and dingo urine. Stryke hits Wes with a forearm, and follows that up with a spin kick. Davenport stumbles backwards into the ropes. Stryke throws a high kick, but Wes ducks out of the way as Stryke's leg hits the top rope. Davenport springs up and slams the point of his boot into Stryke's inner thigh. The former actor snatches the Aussie off his feet and locks him in a torture rack. "Wes Davenport is cranking on Stryke's body, but he can't win that way. At least, not right now, but he could dump Stryke over the top rope." CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! Chuck Norris, enlisted by Vlade Divac to roundhouse kick Franz Ferdinand lead vocalist Alexander Kapranos to death sounds out, but is swiftly replaced by Disturbed's "I'm Alive" and Kevin Coyote runs down the ramp and enters the ring. Davenport whips around and catches a dropkick in the chest from Coyote. Wes and Stryke both fall to the mat, and the impact dislodges the Aussie from Davenport's grasp. Wes gets back up, only to be rocked with an elbow to the nose. He screams something about his precious, precious face, slams Kevin to the mat and proceeds to beat Coyote to a pulp. At perhaps the exact same moment in time, Nathaniel Kibagami is slaughtering a mime. In the ring, though, Matt Myers is getting back to his feet, as is Spike Jenkins. 'Hollywood' knocks Myers off his feet, only to pull the 'Gay Cowboy' back up and walk him towards the ropes. Spike grabs Matt around the waist and shoves him over, but Myers clings to the ropes, keeping himself alive in the match. Jenkins kicks away at Myers, trying to eliminate him, but the attack is cut short as arms coursing with MANSONOSITY wrap around Spike's waist and fling him backwards. The Stampede turns his back on Myers, which proves to be a mistake, as Matt pulls himself up and springboards back into the ring, taking Manson down with a bulldog. "Spike Jenkins almost took care of Matt Myers, but that tank, Manson, slammed him to the mat with a nice German suplex, and was just now brought down by Matt Myers." Myers gets up, and is followed soon after by the Raging Bull. Matt snaps off a kick, but Manson punches him in the eye. The Stampede grabs 'Gay Cowboy', spins around and lets go, launching Myers over the top rope, but Matt lands on the apron, keeping him in the match. "Manson almost eliminated Matt Myers with that overhead belly to belly suplex, but Myers was lucky enough to land on the apron," Pete says. "I'm not drunk enough," King adds and swallows the better part of a fifth of tequila. Stryke gets back to his feet and spots Manson across the ring. The Aussie heads for the Raging Bull and takes him to the mat with a hurricanrana. Stryke rises, pulls Manson up, and drives him into the canvas with a quick piledriver. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Vlade shoots Franz Ferdinand guitarist (And final member) Nick McCarthy several times, and with his death comes the up tempo sounds of C & C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now!)". The Crimson Skull marches down the ramp, Heff absent for reasons too boring to be listed here. Skull enters the ring and nails Stryke with a big right hand. Myers slides back in the ring, but drops to one knee after a heart punch from the super villain. Skull wraps a giant hand around Matt's neck and casually chucks him over the top rope, but 'Gay Cowboy' entangles himself in the cables, and is still in the match somehow. The Crimson Skull continues to cut a swathe of destruction, as he punts Ghost Machine in the head before moving on to land a kidney punch to Wes Davenport. "The Crimson Skull is cleaning house! Granted, he hasn't eliminated anyone yet, but he could very well change that in the near future," Longdogger says. "Crimson Skull is a good drink. Five parts vodka, two parts whiskey, and a dash of antifreeze," King states. Wes rises to his feet and swings on Skull, knocking the bigger man back a half step. Skull uses the space to plaster Davenport with a big boot, but gets nailed from behind by Ghost Machine. Skull turns around and lands a double axe handle to the top of Machine's head before burying him into the mat with a spine buster. Skull notices Spike Jenkins getting to his feet and charges down 'Hollywood'. However, at 285 pounds, even charging is slow, and Jenkins manages to avoid the spear, which ends in Skull sailing between the top and middle ropes and landing on the ground. "The Crimson Skull is still in the match! I want that to be known!" Pete exclaims. "And I'm still not yet drunker enoughed!" King mumbles. Manson gets up and bashes Spike in the head with an elbow, backs up, and blasts 'Hollywood' with a Western Lariat. The Raging Bull attempts to toss Spike out, but takes a chop to the throat from Stryke. Manson bashes the Aussie with a knee and then powerbombs the smaller wrestler. Manson's attention towards Jenkins is once again broken as Kevin Coyote kicks him in the back of the knee. The Stampede whips around, looking for another lariat, but Kevin lands a mighty gut punch. Coyote snares a front facelock on Manson and drops to one knee, bashing the Raging Bull's face in with his other, shoots back up, and then falls back with a DDT. "Kevin Coyote takes Manson down, but if he were smarter, he would have waited until Manson eliminated Spike Jenkins, or possibly Stryke. Damn stupid rookies," Pete mutters. "BOOBIES!" King yells. Kevin gets back up when suddenly, Matt Myers wraps his arms around the rookie's waist and shoves him into the ropes. Coyote and 'Gay Cowboy' bounce off, roll backwards, and end up back on their feet before Myers trips Kevin and locks on a sleeper hold. Wes Davenport gets back to his feet, pulls Ghost Machine up and begins laying into the robo sapien with European uppercuts, eventually forcing Ghost into the corner. PTWANG! Vlade shoots an asparagus spear into Fidel Castro's beard using a banjo, and "Megalomaniac" by Incubus plays, sending Landon Maddix to race down the ramp and enter the ring. 'La Cucaracha' looks around and makes for Ghost Machine, firing off two quick kicks to the sternum before hitting an enziguiri. During this moment, an Eskimo is being molested by a walrus and his drunk puffin friend, and somehow, at that exact same moment, the Crimson Skull is pulling himself up and getting in the ring. Skull looks around and flattens Maddix with a clothesline. Skull hauls Manson off his feet and drops him with a piledriver. Spike Jenkins gets to his feet and nails the Crimson Skull in the knee with a kick. Skull grabs 'Hollywood' by the hair, lifts Jenkins off his feet and cracks him with a headbutt. Skull lets go of Spike and knocks him down with a quick pair of punches. Candace Okimura, after some time in a vise-like body scissors is slow in getting up, and the moment she's on her feet, the Joshi Dragon finds two giant hands around her throat. "Pop Your Skull! The Crimson Skull has that choke hold on Candace Okimura, and she might not last much longer, but, as I've said countless times, that won't help Skull win the match!" Pete screams. "Show yer boobies!" King demands of the Joshi Dragon. Not long after, Candace goes limp and Skull, using both hands, tosses her over the top rope. ##### Name: 'The Joshi Dragon' Candace Okimura Time Entered: 20:00 Time Eliminated: 27:08 Eliminated By: The Crimson Skull Eliminations: None ##### Skull turns around, right into a chop from Stryke. The Aussie lands a flurry of blows against the super villain, eventually allowing himself to hit a DDT on Skull. Manson gets up and punches Stryke in the face, and then again. Stryke kicks Manson in the chest, but the Raging Bull punches Stryke's face once more. Manson lands another punch, dropping Stryke. Maddix slowly gets up, and Manson walks over to Landon and begins punching his face. After a barrage of ten straight punches in a row, 'La Cucaracha' falls down. The Stampede moves on to Spike Jenkins and starts punching his face. Jenkins gets knocked down after six, and there are still more faces to be punched. By Manson. Who is just walking around and moving his arm in a punching motion, waiting to come in contact with a face. "It looks like Manson has turned into a punching machine! Funny, I thought that would be Ghost Machine's job." "It'sh the shambersh in your learsh," King slurs. Ghost Machine gets back up, and is immediately punched in the face. He fires off a shotei, but gets a punch to the face. Manson lands two more punches before the Machine falls. Manson heads for Matt Myers and Kevin Coyote, and kicks 'Gay Cowboy' in the back. Myers rolls over and gets punched in the face. Coyote slithers away, and Manson heads towards Wes Davenport's face. However, the actor, not wanting his face punched, stops Manson in his tracks with a kick to the groin. Coyote climbs to his feet and knocks Wes down with a dropkick. "It looks like Manson's punching spree is over. But for how long?" Pete wonders. Stryke slowly gets to his feet, his head throbbing from the punching, and stumbles towards Coyote. Kevin swings, but the Aussie ducks and lands an European uppercut. DING! DING! DING! Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Don't Ask Me No Questions" blares, and out walks Bruce Blank, looking quite beaten. At the same time, Stryke clotheslines Kevin Coyote over the top rope and out of the match. ##### Name: Kevin Coyote Time Entered: 22:00 Time Eliminated: 28:00 Eliminated By: Stryke Eliminations: None ##### Blank shuffles down to the ring and slowly climbs in and is instantly set upon by Stryke, who chops away at the taller man. "Kevin Coyote is gone! But Bruce Blank is here! I'm surprised, as he was in a brutal match earlier tonight." "He'sh shlak in a tishog mushinshinsh," King adds. Blank knees Stryke in the groin and moves on to Crimson Skull, jabbing a thumb in his eyes before knocking him flat with a clothesline. Spike Jenkins eats a forearm, and another before falling to a big boot. OH MY GOD, TIME HAS DRAMATICALLY SPED UP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Vlade backs a truck up and Saliva's "Superstar" plays, heralding Max King. He runs down the ramp and slides in, but gets punched in the face by Manson. "And Manson has started punching faces again!" Pete yells. MORE TIME WARP! OH NO! Manson pulls Blank up, punches his face, and with a Western Lariat, knocks him over the top rope. ##### Name: Bruce Blank Time Entered: 28:00 Time Eliminated: 31:40 Eliminated By: Manson Eliminations: None ##### Manson turns towards Matt Myers and pushes him over the top, but 'Gay Cowboy' holds on to the ropes yet again. LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! HURF! HURF! HURF! Vlade saves a guy from choking, and Incubus' "Vitamin" plays, and Zyon runs out to help Spike Jenkins kick Landon Maddix in the liver. Meanwhile, Manson is simultaneously punching Ghost Machine, Wes Davenport, Matt Myers, the Crimson Skull, and Max King in the face because the power of MANSONOSITY compells him. IF TIME KEEPS RUSHING FORWARD LIKE THIS, WE'LL ALL BE DEAD BEFORE WE KNOW IT! OH WELL! KA-BLAMO! Vlade shoots every member of The Strokes in the face at once, and Therapy's "Teethgrinder" plays. TORU runs down to the ramp, climbs in, and gets punched in the face by Manson. TIME KEEPS ON SLIPPING, SLIPPING, SLIPPING, INTO THE FUTURE! Landon pulls TORU off the mat, backs him into the ropes and dropkicks the Hammer over, eliminating him. ##### Name: TORU Takahara Time Entered: 34:00 Time Eliminated: 35:10 Eliminated By: Landon 'La Cucaracha' Maddix Eliminations: None ##### Drunkenly, Tim Dillon rushes out with no music and enters the match, only to get punched in the face by Manson. Some time later, Manson punches Tim over the top rope. ##### Name: Tim Dillon Time Entered: 36:00 Time Eliminated: 41:44 Eliminated By: Manson Eliminations: None ##### Manson keeps punching faces until he grows weary and allows Max King to throw Stryke over the top rope. ##### Name: Stryke Time Entered: 4:00 Time Eliminated: 43:34 Eliminated By: 'The Icon' Max King Eliminations: Kevin Coyote, 28:00 ##### "And we have the first person to be eliminated that has eliminated someone else," Pete says. "BOOBIES!" King adds. The Crimson Skull, using magic powers he gained when he ate a bad burrito, escapes the face punching onslaught and hits Ghost Machine with a magnet, causing a short circuit. Skull then tosses Machine over the top. ##### Name: Ghost Machine 2.0 Time Entered: 10:00 Time Eliminated: 45:00 Eliminated By: The Crimson Skull Eliminations: The 70s Dude, 14:19 ##### Skull is about to hit Wes Davenport, but suddenly has to blink, and Wes low blows the villain before throwing him over the top. ##### Name: The Crimson Skull Time Entered: 24:00 Time Eliminated: 45:27 Eliminated By: Wes Davenport Eliminations: The Joshi Dragon Candace Okimura, 27:08; Ghost Machine 2.0, 45:00 ##### CUT TO: Landon Maddix dropkicks Max King over the top rope while Manson punches Matt Myers over, but 'Gay Cowboy' holds on and rolls back under the bottom rope. ##### Name: 'The Icon' Max King Time Entered: 30:00 Time Eliminated: 47:19 Eliminated By: Landon 'La Cucharacha' Maddix Eliminations: Stryke, 43:34 ##### Manson, angry that so many people are avoiding his face punching, punches Wes Davenport over the top rope. ##### Name: Wes Davenport Time Entered: 14:00 Time Eliminated: 47:59 Eliminated By: Manson Eliminations: 'The Urban Legend' Todd Cortez, 19:20; The Crimson Skull, 45:27 ##### Tired of him always rolling back in, Manson punches Matt Myers really hard in the face, and 'Gay Cowboy' lands in the stands. ##### Name: Matt 'Gay Cowboy' Myers Time Entered: 18:00 Time Eliminated: 49:31 Eliminated By: Manson Eliminations: None ##### Manson lurks around, looking for more faces to punch, when, out of nowhere, Zyon shoves Manson over the top rope. In his rage, Manson punches every face in the crowd. ##### Name: Manson Time Entered: 6:00 Time Eliminated: 52:13 Eliminated By: Zyon Eliminations: 'The Rage' Jason Von Dierch, 9:39; Christian Fury, 11:02; Bruce Blank, 31:40; Tim Dillon, 41:44; Wes Davenport, 47:59; Matt 'Gay Cowboy' Myers, 49:31 ##### "IT IS NOW A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! I DON'T THINK ANYONE WAS EXPECTING MANSON TO NOT BE IN IT, WHAT WITH ALL HIS FACE PUNCHING, AND, AS SUCH, NEITHER SPIKE JENKINS, NOR LANDON MADDIX, NOR ZYON ARE EXACTLY CONSCIOUS!" Pete shouts. "BOOBIES!" Vlade Divac hustles to start officiating the match, and Landon runs at a kneeling Spike Jenkins, hitting him with a shining wizard. 'La Cucaracha' goes for a cover. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! "Zyon just broke up the pin after that brutal Shining Wizard from Landon Maddix!" Pete yells whilst rubbing his nipples in excitement. "Sho eyshto glush," King adds. Zyon pulls Maddix up, puts him in a reverse fireman's carry and drops Landon on his head. The Unique Youth isn't done, though, and heads for the top turnbuckle. He leaps off with the best fucking move ever, landing on Maddix with the Sky Twister Press. He stays down and Vlade counts the pin. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! "Zyon has won Clusterfuck! Amazing!" Pete shouts. "And I've drastically sobered up! So much so that the average person won't even be able to tell that I was drunk for the main event!"

1) Who are you, and what have you done this year? I ams teh GOdrea, a person who has been around back before we had our own board (Oh, yeah, I also made the first stats template, which should get me a life-time world title reign, since without me, you losers would be nothing, but, whatever..). This year, I wrote a rushed Clusterfuck match as Matt "Gay Cowboy" Myers and returned as Jimmy the Doom (The only character with more than one match to not have yet lost a world title match. Planning on changing that soon, though.) 2) What do you think of CC and their work at this time? CC seems to be good, despite a lack of Galatea. Honestly, though, we've come a long way from the days of Jayson Grant marking all the matches (Especially fun when Clusterfuck rolled around), and CC seems to be good about giving people what they want. Hopefully that translates to criticism/advice on matches, as it seemed that MVS had a strict no feedback policy. Then again, I haven't really been following this current incarnation for very long, but come on, it's got Rayn Man, Judgeums, and Zedzilla. 3) What do you think this fed's strongest suit is? Different styles/backgrounds so that most matches aren't the same regardless of writer. I think it's good to be able to tell a match's writer just by skimming it a bit (Not looking at the results). And this talk about 'only a certain style match gets a person to the upper echelon of the card' is pretty lamez0rs to me. I think that now, with some rookies and returning vets , there shouldn't be too many no-shows, as a rook isn't burned out too much, and a vet would only be back because he/she wants to write. 4) What do you think this fed's weakest suit is? That purple one with the yellow stripes. Seriously, though, probably the low rate of new members, but that doesn't seem to be the case right now. I guess also I miss a few stables or even a handful of tag teams running around, pranking each other and whatnot. 5) Do you have any suggestions for changes in how things are run? Let me mark my own matches. I deserve it. Also, I'd like to see a few more title defenses, though that might just be my old schoolery talking. I don't think it'd be a bad thing to temporarily de-activate a belt (Say, tag titles) if there isn't fresh competiton every few months. So, yeah, more tag teams. You selfish bastards. 6) Overall, do you like the direction the fed is headed in? Looks to be good, though if we could ever get a website that stays current for more than a few months would be nice. IN CONCLUSION, I AM A RAMBLING LOON AND HAVE NO IDEA AS TO WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. THANK YOU, AND MAY THE CUTTLEFISH BRING YOU MANY SMALL PIECES OF APPLE PIE AND DEAD EARS.

No, no, no. We use Exploding Chicken's interviewer, Emma Dumas. And she always has to inform the viewers who she is. "Emma Dumas reporting live" or "Emma Dumas here with ____"

What's a Belcourt?

Kid Cools is going to eat all of your hot dogs, then.

Matt "Tokyo X" Myers "I have to write a match?!" or as an interviewer "I have to ask questions?!"

Two things: 1. Randy is going to win because of the hot dog shorts. How can you bet against Oscar Meyer? 2. Whitehead has a big fucking head. Then again, it's hard to lose that pesky head weight.