Art Sandusky

Danny Ainge is a Mormon, who generally already have a real cardboard cutout quality to them.

WHOA SEND THAT TO AL FRANKEN

Like a whole group of sports that the rest of the world doesn't know or care about? Yeah, pretty much. Football and baseball are our games, and we like it that way. Tough shit; we don't need to validate our existence by beating Peru in a soccer game like you guys do. To most people, soccer is just what everyone wants 8-year-olds to play so that nobody can feel bad about losing, inasmuch as you only need to run up and down with everyone else to feign participation. Hockey has basically the same "chase the item around and get it in the goal" premise as soccer, but at least it has the element of good old Americanadian physicality, and even that's being ruined by all the Floppy McFakehurts coming into the sport from--you guessed it!--soccer countries. I watch a soccer match, and I'm not sure if it's an athletic competition or a tribute to the life and times of Curt Hennig. You bump into a guy and he flies halfway across the field, writhing in pain.

What does Danny Ainge do with all these draft picks? Stockpile them in a bomb shelter? Psh. Deng for Pierce is a baaaad deal. Don't touch the nucleus of this Bulls team. And Gordon for Pierce? Are you crazy?

I want to bean Don Zimmer so that after his head cracks open, I can harvest the tasty pumpkin seeds, salt them, and bake them. A fine fall treat.

Ha, didn't even think of that one. Simply stunning thread, anyway.

Ah, the ol' cock-on-a-dock. While you were working on the clock. Brandishing a Glock.

Good. I can't stand this childish unwritten rule that you must hit the opposing team after they hit you, especially when it wasn't intentional. OLD SCHOOL BASEBALL MAN YOU GOTTA PLAY THE GAME THE RIGHT WAY

You're also like 21. Way to go!

Ohhhhhhh man.

The White Sox demoted--and Ozzie Guillen publicly humiliated on TV--a rookie pitcher because he failed to strike Hank Blalock in the head with a 90+ m.p.h. projectile. Such a classy organization.

Being a smark has nothing to do with how many accounts you have on the board. Geez. Anyway, I always mix you two up.

It took me a second to figure out what he said until he did the Vader dance. Thanks for that video, btw

What the hell did I do? Seriously.

I don't think anyone deserves to have batteries hurled at them, but what do I know

It's too bad Ann is going so overboard with this "Christianity is dead in America!!" thing. If she just took a deep breath and thought things out, she could probably make some pretty salient points about the changing importance of religion in American life.

This is why I don't go in the WWE folder anymore. So what is it doing here.

Though actually now that you mention it, I'm 75% sure RickJamesBitch and FroGGNeaL are the same person.

That's what makes us so different. I would never quote Office Space

Not completely. I still think the Bulls would've been better this year with a good big man. Hinrich, Duhon, Gordon, Nocioni, et al are all talented, but without a bona fide center, their growth as a team is stunted, I feel.

Whatever. Americans are never really that jazzed about international play, nor are we jazzed about soccer, so when it comes to international soccer, it's just plenty of apathy. So what if Felonies! is better at running up and down a field than the USA? We have bigger fish to fry. Also, I hear that Europeans treat Team USA like shit. That's classy, guys.

Neifi Perez's OBP is only 16 points above his batting average. Man, that's BAD.

Hi Leena, I'm glad you're back.

Wait, so Marvin is really gonna skip the chance for a date so he can put in time at his going-nowhere-fast job? Call and ask her if she's still free, then just go already so we can close this awful thread.

HEY I GET THE IMPRESSION THAT WE CONFUSE PEOPLE WITH OTHER PEOPLE MORE THAN A FEW TIMES