Kinetic

Dallas would seem to be the one sure thing in the NFC this year. The only caveat is that each of the last two years they've limped out of the regular season and shit the bed in the playoffs. But until January rolls around, I don't see any reason why they shouldn't be the best team in the conference. 12-4.

Anyway, I think I recognize the girl on the right in that picture. Either I know her or she's in porn.

Anyway, and...uh...AHAHAHAHAHA. Flat busted. Get it? It's like, you think it means...but what it really means is...

She may be broke...but she's not flat busted! AHAHAHAHA!

Ya know? If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.

You sound just like my mother. Before...you know... The accident.

Oh, wow, that Lisa Loeb song has a special place in my heart. I still know all the words. Seeing it as interpreted by the maggoty, rat-infested voice of my generation only reinforces its timelessness.

YES! Be man beat man space mountain oldest ride longest line wooo.

Even better. My favorite Bacharach song and one of my favorites by anyone:

It'd have to be between the Dionne Warwick and the Dusty Springfield, I guess. This song gets to me. I always get a little choked up. Except for during the White Stripes cover. That's a joke.

I don't know what you guys are talking about, I like this guy. Noah Fentz. Heh. It's almost like a pun.

Oh, yes. If worse comes to worse, the Vikings QB situation will be straight Booty.

Yeah. Wow, Chris. What an honor. Is it true that not only do you not have a spleen, but that you're also sterile from constantly having your balls batted down?

They could sign Chris Simms. I hear he's available.

I loled.

I think VX is guilty of a certain amount of homerism. Time will tell.

I'm starting to think that McCain might have made a mistake here. He may have energized some of his wacko far-right Republican base, but I don't know that the Hillary people are just going to vote for any old bleedin' vagina. It seems like this Palin woman has some serious credibility issues. As a dimwitted and confused undecided voter, I think I may need to Google her repeatedly to find out what she's made of before I'm willing to submit my final verdict.

If only they'd had the foresight to do a cursory MySpace runthrough, this whole sordid mess might have been avoided.

The guy could have been the writer of some sort of urban Goosebumps.

"White Lightning." As most of you know, the title “White Lightning” refers to bootleg liquor, and like its legal lesser proof cousins, most of the “best stuff” comes from the South. Larry the Cable Guy plays Gator McClusky, a man doing time for ‘running’ illegal liquor. He’s offered a deal to be released early from prison if he’ll work with the Feds to infiltrate the rum-runners in Bogen County, AR. Gator accepts the deal, not so much to bring down the moonshiners but to exact revenge on the corrupt Sheriff who’s responsible for killing his younger brother. Bobby McClusky wasn’t part of the family moonshine, seeking a college degree instead. He was senselessly killed due to the local law’s prejudice against “no good activist hippies”. Will Gator get his revenge against the corrupt sheriff? Will there be lots of great car chases? Will Larry make you smile with his trademark laugh? I think you can answer all of these questions without seeing the movie. Like Paul Newman, Larry the Cable Guy's best movies are the ones where he plays the anti-hero we can’t help but to root for. He brings an easy charm to the role, but if you notice he can hold his own just doing straight drama. “White Lightning” will have some classic Larry the Cable Guy wisecracks, but the overall tone is serious. It has a lot more in common with “Delta Farce” than “Witless Protection” in that regard. It doesn’t hurt that Larry is surrounded by a strong supporting cast. Bill Engvall is the connection the Feds provide him with, but is reluctant to help for obvious reasons. Ashton Kutcher plays Dude, the county’s leading moonshine runner, and he has an easy, brassy charm similar to Larry's.

There's a reliable source if I ever saw one.