Kinetic

Didn't we long ago establish that the Banky story was bullshit?

Dubious. LSD seems to encompass some of South Carolina, all of North Carolina, and about half of Virginia.

While scrolling past the Video Games folder, I misread "I Have One Month of Xbox Live" as "I Have One Month to Live." I was briefly excited by the idea of a poster pledging to live out his final days playing Madden and drinking endless bottles of Mountain Dew Code Red FTW!

Zsasz was one of those Guns N Roses pricks from up in Music. I heard that he went on some sort of Chinese Democracy-related hunger strike and ended up becoming a monk.

The Doobie Brothers (Jimmy and Johnny Doobie) were originally imagined as a vaguely countercultural answer to the Everly Brothers, as evidenced by their celebrated 1967 marijuana paean "Unchained Doobie." They eventually settled into a permanent MOR funk and were eventually fronted by "Stuff That No People Like" mainstay Michael McDonald. Some version of the band can be seen at a state fair near you to this very day. So I guess that the doobie came before the egg. I don't know where Scooby fits into all of this.

Derrick Brooks for the Bucs makes sense. The bar is set so low that only one guy on their list (Lee Roy Selmon) never suited up in the current uniform.

Culpepper is an idiot. He actually thought he could go into Pittsburgh and compete with Roethlisberger for the starting job, even knowing that they had just signed Ben to a ridiculous contract this offseason. His case is less a situation of him not wanting to accept a mentor role than it is a case of him being washed up physically and also not having any sort of wisdom to impart unto a younger QB. I don't know what Plummer's deal was, as he would have had every opportunity to win the starting job in Tampa had he decided to show up.

I'm pretty sure that Warner already wants out of Arizona and hasn't been particularly shy about it. I think Leinart sucks a dick and Warner is probably the better option, but a rational person could understand why the Cardinals need to give Beer Bong every opportunity to succeed. Some guys just can't accept the mentor/backup role and fade out gracefully.

If all music can be categorized as being either Apollonian or Dionysian, then Czech--probably through no fault of his own--is definitely an Apollonian kinda guy. Sublime, on the other hand, is like a beer-soaked, spooge-filled condom thrown in the face of overbearing parents, uncaring teachers, and girls that won't give you the time of day. Sublime is all about being alive, man; alive as a teenager with a pocket full of trouble and nothing to lose. It's just not your world, brother. Stick to the Steely Dan.

I have to resist the urge to get too excited about anything that happens in the preseason, but I will say that the Bucs looked a lot better tonight than they did last week. Oh, man, the mouthbreathers at the official Buccaneers message board are going nuts tonight. Even the reliably levelheaded semi-literates like maryjane420bucsfan are predicting a Super Bowl run.

If that's the case, then I want Pau Gasol answering to whoever the Chinese equivalent of Al Sharpton is on whatever the Chinese equivalent of the Don Imus show is ASAP.

I see that Dennis Dixon got extensive playing time in the Buffalo/Pittsburgh game tonight. Fairly pedestrian passing numbers, but 2 rushes for something like 54 yards and a TD. The fuck are they going to do with that guy?

I had actually never listened to one second of sports talk radio until a little over a year ago, when I was laid up with an illness and had no other way to follow the NBA playoffs. I'm sort of hooked now and I generally find it to be not unpleasant, but Cowherd is just awful. Not Stephen A. Smith awful, but terrible nonetheless. I was listening to him one morning and I think I came into it in a bad mood; maybe a hangover, I really don't remember. Anyway, he went from telling me that I don't really care about any teams other than the Patriots, Cowboys, Yankees, Red Sox, and Lakers to telling me that Arrested Development sucked because no one watched it. The whole "no one cares about your small-market team" argument is one of those things in sports that pisses me off to no end, and tossing in a totally unnecessary series of insults towards a show I hold in very high regard was salt in the wound. I wanted to throw the radio out the window.

This story was getting a lot of play on sports talk radio this morning. Dan Patrick raised the question of whether it would be a bigger story if they were mocking black players (yes). Colin Cowherd somehow managed to turn it into a 45 minute diatribe on how the American media hates successful people ("CEOs, pug-nosed ESPN radio show hosts, President Bush...") and wants us all to believe that Europeans are both more sophisticated than us and too backwards to realize that this would be considered offensive. Oh, do I ever hate Colin Cowherd. Everything comes back around to his fear that rich white men are being targeted and are rapidly becoming an endangered species. And he uses way too many stripper analogies. "LeBron James is like the one really hot stripper at a rundown, hole-in-the-wall joint in Akron, okay? He just is." What a tard. Anyway, I don't think we should spend too much time trying to figure out why there's so little outrage over this. Let's just be thankful for it and move on.

Oh, man. A couple of runs through those clunky, go-nowhere "wha wha girl trouble" duds on Pinkerton and your head really is going to explode.

That's actually exactly what I was thinking, although I'd throw "slow" in there as well. I'm not sure how this helps their secondary any, although they're the goddamn rat bastard Patriots so I'm sure it won't end up mattering.

My Hatriotism aside, Lynch seems very much like Belichick's type of guy on defense.

Man, I can't even smoke a cigarette on my own porch without having some black asshole ask me for money. This guy talked my ear off for five minutes. "Manmanmanuhuhuh...got these kids, right? Got these kids. The one girl, she don't even do nothin' but sit on the couch, talkin' bout manmanmanuhuh got these kids, right? What I'm gonna do is uhuhuh what I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna cut that man grass. I'm gonna cut that man grass. Got me a gas tank. I'm tryin' to do right. I'm tryin' to do right. I just need a dollar." Fucking panhandlers.

Well, now you're just being ridiculous.

John Lynch is visiting the Patriots today. Lynch is my favorite Buc ever and I'd like to see him land somewhere if he still wants to play, but it would pain me to see him in a Patriots uniform. Anyone got any early song predictions for the Springsteen Super Bowl halftime show? I'm thinking he might go more the Prince route and cover a lot of territory with songs both predictable and obscure, rather than the Stones/McCartney/Tom Petty "big recognizable hits plus one recent song" formula. I'd like to see "Glory Days" with Brett Favre on tambourine. I really would.

Sounds like you've got an idea for a zombie movie there, mister.

Here's the bio on Jung Billz: His given name is Alvin Hoobler and he's a 44 year old recovering crack addict/welfare recipient/aspiring rapper from Wausau, Wisconsin (also the hometown of Metal Ed, who knew?). He's been mentored by fellow former addict and Wisconsin rap legend Crackity Too Tall, whose once promising career was derailed when he refused to remove the controversial song "Cowbooty" (a rather graphic account of a leisure activity enjoyed by all young Wisconsinite males) from an album he submitted to Def Jam in the 80s. The two have been collaborating on an album to be titled Pipe Dreams: Da Life and Times of Alvin Hoobler Volume 1, which features local hits such as "Gas Station," "B.I.T.C.H. (Da Shawty is Shoddy)," and "Big Ballin." It is to be released on the cassette-only independent label Richconsin Records. Hope this clears up any confusion.

Oh, ouch. I never thought I'd say this, but I would not want to be Jericholic82 right now, lemme tell ya.

Hey, the guy only has six months left in office. Let him have his fun. If these "protected species" can't cowboy up for half a year, maybe they didn't deserve to be protected in the first place.

I wasn't aware of this until just now. Pretty solid gimmick.