Kinetic

Yeah, except Matt Stafford actually has a chance of going #1 overall.

Dude, Foreigner.

They're playing against Tampa's defense, that's why. I thought of naming Chase Daniel instead of Matt Stafford, but...look at where I live. That guy is a floppy-haired messiah around here.

Yeah, like the anonymous person that killed Biggie. Or Tupac. Or the lunatic gunman that shot Dimebag Darrell. Even Mark David Chapman wasn't really interested in making a name for himself. John Hinckley Jr. shot Reagan because he wanted to impress Jodie Foster. Who hasn't been there? I'm just saying that killing Soulja Boy would generate just as many headlines as killing, say, Kanye West. And even if, like Soulja Boy, the guy was a flash in the pan, you'd make a sort of martyr of him, so both he and you would be enduring. I don't think there's any added benefit to killing someone who's well-liked or acclaimed.

All right, so maybe Childress goes if they have a bad year. But Romeo Crennel should be all right. Like Marvin Lewis, he inherited a team that had next to nothing going for it and built it into an underachiever. He'll get the benefit of the doubt for a couple more years.

Well, why wouldn't you murder someone who sucked? If you're going to murder, y'know...do us a favor.

I have a sneaking suspicion that my favorite college football team is going to crush Patrick Spoon's favorite college football team this weekend.

Brad Childress is speaking and behaving like a man on the verge of being fired, so I'm going to assume that he knows something the rest of us don't. I mean, he's put together a pretty solid team there. They just need something...anything from the passing game and they're at least 1-1 right now.

Joey Galloway is likely out for the Bucs this Sunday. Contrary to popular belief, this is probably not a bad thing. He's been a total non-factor thus far this season and Bucs Nation is curious to see what Antonio Bryant can do with more opportunites. Oh, and Michael Clayton will also start. Not so optimistic there.

As mentioned previously, Herm Edwards will likely not be fired because the bar was set low for this season. They're rebuilding. Lane Kiffin (obviously), Rod Marinelli, Scott Linehan, and Marvin Lewis will probably not be so lucky.

I do. Now.

Yes, cyber-bullying.

Due to a lack of interest (or concern, perhaps), I was forced to relegate the TSM Recovering Alcoholics Support Group to a thread in Graphics Testing. But, please, come and share any well-wishes or advice with us there. I'm drunk right now and I don't feel very good about myself. :-(

I check ProFootballTalk.com religiously. It took me awhile to warm to Mike Florio's incessant Seinfeld references, but I now consider them an endearing quirk.

Yeah, the New York Dolls are a much better drug-addled, trashy mess of a band from the 70s. Plus, Johnny Thunders did what neither Joe Perry nor Keith Richards could: he died.

I think Matt Stafford is more likely to go pro after his junior year than Tebow. This might be wishful thinking on my part, but I think Tebow likes being at Florida so much that he'll stay for the full four years. And all that draft stuff and OTAs can be time-consuming. Those Filipino kids aren't going to circumcise themselves. ...or are they?

Apparently Tyler Thigpen is starting at QB this week for the Chiefs. ...who?

Well, yeah. But I'd say that overthrowing the government and managing to stay in power for 40 years despite being at odds with the mammoth superpower just north of you is a type of earning it. Sounds like a stressful job, gotta unwind somehow. It would be nice to order a woman for breakfast, though. From a menu, maybe.

I just checked the tracklisting for Big Ones and was unfortunately reminded of the existence of "Love in an Elevator." Ugh. If I had to pick a favorite from that bunch, I'd say "What It Takes" is kinda all right. I guess that particular compilation predated their awful song from Armageddon.

Guys, I think I might hate Aerosmith. What the hell did I get that tattoo for? I think their comeback has gone on too long. It sort of peaked with the Alicia Silverstone/Liv Tyler video in the early 90s and they've basically been an American Rolling Stones since then, except without the back catalog of excellent albums to even sort of justify their continued existence.

Garcia appears to be physically deteriorating before our very eyes. It's not just his play; the guy looks terrible, like Tom Hanks towards the end of Philadelphia. So, yeah, we'll take a first and a third for him. You guys like awful wide recievers with hands of stone up there, right? You can have Michael Clayton, too.

Per PFT, Gus Frerotte will start for the Vikings this Sunday. As long as he can refrain from concussing himself on any nearby brick or concrete walls, the guy is a clear upgrade over Jackson. Smart move.

1. I'd take the over. Carson Palmer has to be hating life right now. 2. Not enough for it to make a difference, as the strength of the Tennessee offense is clearly the run game. Look for something along the lines of 14-10 in Tennessee's advantage. 3. No. The Brady-less Pats will cruise to a third victory. 4. Doubtful, although the last time these teams played the score was like 38-35, so who knows? I'd anticipate something more along the lines of 13-10. Both Denver and New Orleans should put up at least 24. 5. The worst preseason picks in recent memory: The 2005 Vikings ruling the world and the 2006 Dolphins toppling the Patriots. This one pales in comparison. I'd actually say that the megahyped Browns will end up having a more disappointing season than the Vikings, who I suspect will come on once they figure out that Tarvaris Jackson isn't an NFL quarterback.

This all begs the question of how you would go about non-violently punching someone in the face.