Kinetic

That picture in your avatar looks an awful lot like Irish "American Idol" contestant Carly Smithson. See:

I find the username Penis Skullduggery to be irresistible, impossible to forget. But it haunts me at night. I demand that you both change it and somehow commemorate it, Cyber Mark Madden.

I'm often overwhelmed by the urge to type out the lyrics of whatever I'm listening to at the time. Typically in all caps. Is this a threadworthy idea or a comment that doesn't warrant a thread? Only time will tell. In the meantime... I CAN'T WAIT TO FEEL YOUR LOVE TONIGHT! (I can't wait...to feel your loving tonight) I CAN'T WAIT TO FEEL YOUR LOVE TONIGHT!

Memoirs of an Invisible Chevy.

After making this thread, I decided to d/l Scumdogs of the Universe. It's not as good as it was when I was 14. I lost interest quickly. In a mood to rock, I d/led the first Van Halen album. Much better. I'm talking to myself. The OaO Gwar Thread is to become my blog. Consider this my swibitie.

Also, Slymenstra Hymen. Rock's greatest stage name.

I remember that I also purchased an X-Cops album (pretty lame save for the "Highway Star" cover) and an album by the original Beefcake the Mighty's band Kepone (surprisingly good).

This band dominated my pre-teen, tween, and teen years. Here's an overview: Hell-O-Shoddy in quality. Band had not yet found their voice. Song about fucking dog was good. As was "Rock and Roll Partytown," which still pops into my head to this day. "Rock and fucking roll uh huh uh huh YEAH." Accompanying video, the name of which escapes me, was ultimately unsatisying. Scumdogs of the Universe-Fucking metal. The phrase " motherfucking suckadickadickalog" sometimes occurs to me. Had the game show song. Also "Sick of You." Accompanying video "Tour De Scum" may have had more impact on my still-developing brain than any other artwork in any medium. Perhaps the greatest of all Gwar albums. America Must Be Destroyed-Something of a letdown after previous album. Few moments of brilliance, such as "Have You Seen Me?" Accompanying video "Phallus in Wonderland" was not as good as its title would suggest. The Road Behind EP-Mostly worthless, save for the unbelievably brilliant title track. Which is also available on the LP mentioned above. This Toilet Earth-Fucking loved this album. Cool horns on first song. Run of thoroughly listenable songs to begin the 2nd half. Hilarious liner notes. I used to know all the words to the "Skulhedface" song. Speaking of which, another dud on the video front. Ragnarok- Total garbage. Amusing liner notes. Album was some kind of pussified nonsense. "Think You Oughta Know This" introduced me to the word "halitosis." Accompanying video taught me the correct spelling of the word "rendezvous" but little else. Carnival of Chaos- Purchased as I was beginning to branch out into faggoty snob rock. Was perfect in that sense because it's their least metal album. I remember liking this one a bunch. "Penguin Attack." Something about a scallop boat. If there's an accompanying video, I never saw it. I haven't heard anything beyond that.

w/r/t that fireworks thing: I repeatedly saw that story on Headline News yesterday, and the footage of some fucked-up looking redneck in a John Cena t-shirt being carted off in an ambulance made me laugh every time.

This conversation would seem tailor-made for The Pit's "15 Do's and Don'ts of Sex With Your Pet" thread. Let's resume it there.

The thing that was interesting about it (for me, at least) was that, although Flair has been part of WWE for a few years now, the vast majority of his career was spent elsewhere, and virtually all of his career highlights happened outside of this promotion. So it was neat to see a tribute that encompassed his contributions to wrestling in general, rather than just his relatively meager contributions to WWE.

IF YOU CAN FEEL ME PUT YOUR HANDS UP! (Hood) I'M SO HOOD!

Hands off my warnings, you Washington fat cats! I rely on them to tell me when stuff's about to happen.

Do you know what's been floating around my brain for the last few days? I'M SO HOOD!

Milky says a lot of things. The important thing is that my seed ends up impregnating Ginger Snaps. It's the hypothecial that ends up making the both of us happy.

Ahhh! Woooo! Tits!!!

Why couldn't they do that on TV? There's no kayfabe reason, given that Edge was the lead Flair cheerleader.

Ahhhh! Whoooo! Tits!!!

I'm not your fucking slave, cunt. Whatever you say, dear. How many times and with what caliber weapon? EDIT: This being in reference to what Ginger Snaps wrote. My blind impulse to reproduce tells me that other people have said things, but I can't be bothered to figure out what.

Shut up, bitch. God damn, what I wouldn't do to plant my seed in you.

I thought of Favre during Flair's segment, and thought of how much more satisfying his retirement press conference would have been if it had been done in "This Is Your Life" format. Like...here's Sterling Sharpe! Here's Mike Holmgren! Remember Reggie White? Here's a lawyer representing his widow!

Hell of a sendoff for Flair. Let's just hope that he never, ever steps foot inside a ring in any sort of wrestling capacity ever again. I mean, with all due respect, this should have happened ten years ago. But God bless Vince McMahon for buying up the entirety of wrestling's past and making something like this possible. I couldn't give a shit less about wrestling at this point, but I watched this.

What did George Feeny do to land in the Whiny Bitches folder? I mean, I hate the elderly as much as the next guy, but that just seems unnecessarily cruel.

I think that the general feeling with season openers is that you don't have to trot out your marquee games, because people are so desperate to see meaningful football that they'll watch anything. Still, Raiders-Broncos is a hard sell.

Thursday night opener is Giants-Redskins. Pretty bold going with an NFC East game like that. The Sunday nighter is the Battle For Tzar Lysergic's Heart and Mind as Indy hosts Chicago. Monday night doubleheader sucks a dick: Vikings-Packers and Broncos-Raiders. EDIT: Man, fuck this shit. You beat me to the punch.