kkktookmybabyaway

Wow. Dawson and Jackson in the same draft. That's all.

10 a.m. • So last week I took a business trip to Buffalo. Wow. Just wow. First off, I stayed at the Hyatt Regency downtown, and after I got everything settled I decided to take a trip outside. Big mistake. Just about every single building within a several block radius was boarded up or vacant. The only two exceptions to this were the Chinese takeout place, which looked to be on its last leg, and the welfare office. And another thing: what is up with all the black people? I get that this was “downtown,” but I wasn’t expecting to be accosted every other block by some person asking for change. I almost forgot, there was a CVS store, but they closed up shop before 6 p.m. Man, no wonder people are so miserable in the Northeast. 9 p.m. • Wow. That's a bitch. I guess beggers can't be choosers if you're waiting for a new set of lungs, but still.

8 a.m. • Well, I'll be getting ready to leave the state in a few hours, which brings me to something I've been meaning to say for a few days. You may have noticed that in the last few months I haven't been blogging as much as I used to. Well, there's a reason for that. I've been really busy at work and many times the last thing I want to do when I get home is get in front of another computer. And the sad thing is, there's really not much to complain about. I could gripe about my contractor and how they're putting more and more work on my boss's plate (and in turn, me) that wasn't in the agreed contract, but the great thing about all this is that my new boss has been supportive of me 110 percent. It's a TOTAL night/day switch from the shithole I used to work at. Hell, last week she said that she was going to bring on another person (part-time to start) to help us out. And what did she do? She started interviewing people yesterday! Now some of you may find this "normal," but I came from a place that took two months to find a replacement for me (and from the stories I've been hearing it sounds like my idiot ex-boss picked a real winner, but that's another story for another time). I came from a place that put stuffing envelopes over job duties I was originally hired to perform. I came from a place that wouldn't reimburse our sales manager for ANYTHING he did out on the road. (But my ex-idiot boss would spend thousands on trips to national conventions that did squat for our organization. Shit, there's another story sorta-related to this subject that I could mention, but time forbids it.) Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I came from a pretty shitty place. • Hello. I remember when I was that age I stood on a bench during lunchtime and made a "Tarzan" yell. Why? Because I was a kid. I was whisked away and had to put my head down on my desk during post-lunch recess. I had no intentions of killing anyone. Actually, the reason I did this was for attention. A little less than a year later I was at a classmate's birthday party when this girl named Tonya called my name from across the table. After she got my attention, she then did a mock of that yell/chest thumping and gave me that look that a grade-schooler gives when they want to bang you (Or whatever they think of when they're that age; hell, now they probably do imagine taking it doggy-style while leaning against the Tinker Toy can. Oh who am I kidding? They don't play with Tinker Toys anymore.)

Oy.

6:30 p.m. • So later this week I'll be going to Buffalo on a business trip. It's sad when you're going to a city that people from Shittsburgh can goof on. Actually, I'm not sure about Buffalo -- I do know that people in my neck of the woods do think they're above Cleveland. And then there's Detroit. • Speaking of Detroit. I wonder what Mr. Loc's "regular" fee is. • I might watch this on DVD some day. I liked "Rounders," and this has Kevin Spacey. But what I really wanted to see in this article is how that commie "Stop-Loss" flick fared.

11:30 p.m. • So I read this hippie op-ed column in the local paper earlier this week and it’s still on my mind. It’s some commie who used to work at CNN and he’s talking about how “liberalism” really doesn’t exist anymore and blah blah blah. The part that made me laugh (the most) was the following: Sony silence? I guess your “conservative friends” aren’t that quick on the ball to respond by saying, “Sure, but only if I get my money back from the years I put into these Ponzi schemes.” I mean that “Well then don’t collect Social Security” attempt at shutting up Big Government dissenters is almost as easy to diffuse as when some idiot says, “If you’re against abortion how come you’re for capital punishment?” Then there’s the oldie but goldie “WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?!” (Uh, I don’t know about ol’ Jesus, but his old man was one heck of a hell raiser. Noah didn’t build that boat for nothing.) 11:59 p.m. • This story has irked me for some time. Long story short: Back in ’04 my state Senator, some liberal faggot by the name of Alan Kukovich, lost to a Republican named Bob Regola. Now Regola really wasn’t a Republican – he had been a conservative Democrat but switched to the GOP ticket in hopes of beating this left-wing bitch in a general election rather than a primary. Shortly after this upset, some little shit named Louis Farrell, Regola’s 14-year old next door neighbor was found dead with Regola’s gun. Here’s the story for those that care: Now I’ve said before I’m not a gun owner (although many a day goes by when I wonder why), but if you have a gun in your house for protection, wouldn’t it be pointless to lock it up? If it’s 3 a.m. and you hear someone breaking through your living room window, I don’t think you’d have enough time to wake up, get the key to your gun box, open the box, remove the trigger lock, put in the bullets and then go hunting for the person breaking into your house. To me this whole thing smells like a witch hunt and I will gladly vote for Regola should he run again. And this whole perjury thing isn’t jiving with me. OMG he first said the gun was under his kid’s bed then later under his bed. N*gga plz. I’m not defending him because of his party affiliation – I’m defending him because I think it’s bullshit that you can get in trouble for daring to have a weapon to protect your property easily accessible (it’s not like the gun was kept out on the living room coffee table next to the TV Guide). My only regret in this whole story is that that little bastard didn’t just lay down in front of a moving train. (That line went over REAL well a year or two ago when I was in a local doctor’s office with the better half, and some old guy, who made it obvious he didn’t care for Regola, was giving us his opinion on this matter.)

4:30 p.m. • And he was about to get the chair, too -- in just 0143892 more years... • Go, Texas. We need all the red state electoral votes we can muster. And in a SHOCKING development.

6 p.m. • So I heard my first Barack Osama radio ad today. *Blahblahblah We pay high gas prices and Exxon makes $30 billion Blahblahblah* PA’s primary can’t come quick enough. Then again, I'm sure it will be just as bad in the general election. • You know, I don’t get the Sarah Jessica Parker hate. Maybe it’s because “Sex in the City” was terrible or something – not that I would know because I never watched it. She looks different. Big deal. I don’t fantasize about her while stroking my wiener, but I don’t find her repulsive. But I have to ask this: Why bring it up now when this was first published last fall? Don't say the upcoming "Sex in the City" movie, because this doesn't really do much to make someone want to go out, put down $10 for a ticket and watch the UNSEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE~! • I’m sure there are places in the “progressive” part of towns that would charge $8 per serving for this.

*Was going to make a "So I guess the Jews really don't run everything" remark, but I don't want to be accused of derailing a thread in its infancy.*

7:30 p.m. • So on Easter Sunday it was off to the in-laws for lunch/dinner/whatever the hell they did this year. The brother-in-law and his family made their usual trip and it’s funny to observe their kids as they are getting older. However, they (or at least the niece) are still kids in some respects – especially when my mother-in-law made some crack about her cat and how he started getting fat years ago after the vet “chopped his balls off.” The niece then asks, “what’s balls?” OK, I’ll be remembering that one for a while. • Opening Day was just played? Well, with that little reminder, it’s time to go up TSM’s resident baseball guru for another round of who knows more about the current state of America’s National Pastime. Here’s that other person’s selections. Time for Al kkk-eiper to do his thing: Baltimore Orioles 66.0 – Over Florida Marlins 69.0 – Under Pittsburgh Pirates 70.0 – Over(!) Kansas City Royals 71.0 – Over Washington Nationals 72.0 – Over Tampa Bay Devil Rays 73.0 – Over San Francisco Giants 73.0 – Under Oakland Athletics 74.0 – Under Texas Rangers 75.5 – Under Minnesota Twins 75.5 – Under Houston Astros 76.0 – Under Chicago White Sox 77.0 – Under Cincinnati Reds 79.0 – Under St. Louis Cardinals 80.0 – Under Colorado Rockies 83.0 – Over San Diego Padres 84.5 – Under Seattle Mariners 85.0 – Over Milwaukee Brewers 85.0 – Under Toronto Blue Jays 85.5 – Over Arizona Diamondbacks 86.0 – Over Los Angeles Dodgers 86.5 – Under Philadelphia Phillies 86.5 – Under Atlanta Braves 87.0 – Under Chicago Cubs 89.0 – Under Cleveland Indians 89.5 – Over Los Angeles Angels 92.5 – Under Detroit Tigers 93.0 – Under New York Yankees 93.5 – Under New York Mets 94.0 – Under Boston Red Sox 94.5 – Under OK, now it’s time to see how the standings will look like: NL EAST New York Mets 94.0 – Under Atlanta Braves 87.0 – Under Philadelphia Phillies 86.5 – Under Washington Nationals 72.0 – Over Florida Marlins 69.0 – Under NL CENTRAL Chicago Cubs 89.0 – Under Milwaukee Brewers 85.0 – Under St. Louis Cardinals 80.0 – Under Cincinnati Reds 79.0 – Under Houston Astros 76.0 – Under Pittsburgh Pirates 70.0 – Over NL WEST Arizona Diamondbacks 86.0 – Over Los Angeles Dodgers 86.5 – Under Colorado Rockies 83.0 – Over San Diego Padres 84.5 – Under San Francisco Giants 73.0 – Under AL EAST Boston Red Sox 94.5 – Under New York Yankees 93.5 – Under Toronto Blue Jays 85.5 – Over Tampa Bay Devil Rays 73.0 – Over Baltimore Orioles 66.0 – Over AL CENTRAL Cleveland Indians 89.5 – Over Detroit Tigers 93.0 – Under Chicago White Sox 77.0 – Under Minnesota Twins 75.5 – Under Kansas City Royals 71.0 – Over AL WEST Los Angeles Angels 92.5 – Under Seattle Mariners 85.0 – Over Texas Rangers 75.5 – Under Oakland Athletics 74.0 – Under O’righty then. And wtf is up with those “.5” over/under spreads? Only an asshole would do something like that.

Too late. Then again, you are a mod...

Well haven't you grown to be quite the little talk-radio buff? At least you didn't get a "fleace."

10:30 a.m. • So it looks like courtneywasmurdered is taking his act on the road. (The video clip can be found via the link.) Well, if it keeps the kids off the streets and out of trouble, then what's the problem? Besides, I'm sure this is all on the up and up. • There is some sanity -- in Philadelphia of all places. This isn't like the "White/Coloreds Only" signs that were plasted in this country a generation or two ago. And, if this article is correct, with the ever-increasing immigrant population sprouting up around this business, if the masses are offended they can go to the other cheesesteak place and drive Geno's Steaks out of business.

If anything, the Tories will have more of an effect on him than the other way around (especially if he's going to do the home-ownership thing). Does that $900/month include taxes and insurance (if that applies up north)? Even if that $900 covers taxes/insurance, and your utilities aren't any different from your current residence (a home is more expensive to heat up/cool down than an apartment, and don't forget things like sewage/water/garbage pick-up), it wouldn't be a good idea to devote half of your monthly take-home for a mortgage. And don't forget closing costs. FYI: In 2004 I bought a house for $125,000 at a 6.625 percent interest rate, and with city/school taxes and homeowners insurance my monthly payment is $1025/month. Also, my utilities went up about $200 dollars per month -- mostly due to water/sewage/garbage expenses and a few other minor costs.

9:30 p.m. • So I was taking a shower earlier this evening when the better half said, “I’ll join you.” Oh boy. Now in the movies you see those steamy shower scenes where the people involved are passionately embraced and doing a number of things that would, in the real world, result in one (or both) of them saying, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” And just what happened this time around? The same thing that always takes place. When I take a shower, I move all her shampoo/body wash/etc. off the shelve thingys and onto the bathroom sink. I then take my few toiletry items and put them on those shelf thingys. (Keep in mind that we also have a holder thing around the shower head that – surprise – holds even more of her shit.) Well I was just about done doing my thing when she says “I’m coming in.” She enters with all those shower items in hand and tries to put them on the shelf thingys, where my stuff was. There was one problem. She was at the wrong end of the bathtub and I was blocking her way. Then she starts complaining that I’m taking up all the water. Look, our bath station is just a regular hub. There’s no room. Then when she was exposed to some H2O, there was the ever-predictable “OMG how can you stand it so hot?” How long have we lived together? And how many times have you seen me come out of the shower with just the reddish of hues on my chest? Fortunately, I was finishing up my shower time, and after another minute or so I got the hell out of there. Look, I have nothing against co-showering, but this ain’t the movies. This is real life. Speaking of real life, here was a post of mine at the other place that is sorta related to today's subject material. Keep in mind this post was in the Sex folder in a thread titled "Okay PIT, what is your favorite, way to..." You've been warned.

10:45 p.m. • So I was feeling a bit down today. I’m not depressed, but the last few days I haven’t been getting much sleep and I’ve been feeling it. So where do I go when I need a quick pick-me-up by observing the underclass in all their glory? That’s right. Now there’s this one Wal-Mart that opened up a year or so ago about 15 minutes from me. However, it hasn’t quite been overrun with the typical white and ghetto trash that flock to this cornucopia of commerce. Now the Wal-Mart that’s closer to Shittsburgh and attracts a lot of black people? That’s another story. I was walking around the store and was on my way out when I noticed this kid – couldn’t be older than 10 or so – in tears and near a full-blown breakdown. Nothing surprising there. This is Wal-Mart. However, I then soon realized that the man in this group was an employee (the lack of a blue vest threw me off) and it seemed that the talk was focused on something that this kid tried to steal. Uh oh. The woman in this group was PISSED. I’m not sure if this was the kid’s mother – she could have been a babysitter or counselor – but one thing was for certain: this kid was about to have a really bad day. All I could gather from the passing words I heard was that the woman wanted this kid, dressed in a Silver Surfer t-shirt and blue sweatpants, to get punished to the fullest extent of the law. Oddly enough, the employee just took the item back and that was that. Interesting. Believe me, this woman was not trying to get this kid out of trouble. As they were walking out of the store I followed close behind hoping this woman would unload on this low-grade thief. Sadly, nothing transpired. But you know the most amazing thing of all. This woman had three children with her – and the lone white kid was the one busted for shoplifting. Then again, I’m sure the two black kids are more seasoned at this sort of thing. 11:30 p.m. • Oh please Democrats keep this primary fight going. It's funny enough there's talk about disenfranchising voters in Michigan and Florida, but then we get this. Man, if this is what Osama's Democrat critics are getting hit with, imagine what will become of Republicans when they start questioning the Junior senator from Illinois.

8 p.m. • Don't you know that bringing in immigrants to a country is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male? Wait, I don't know what's funnier -- the pork remark or Muslims offended by another group's "abuse of women"? I don't know what the big deal is. Those Poles are just doing the jobs Muslims don't want.

That was a good line, too, but I didn't want to boldface the entire article. I'm sure there are some Polish jokes to be made about them not able to turn on the bombs strapped to themselves.

6 p.m. • So I learned an important driving lesson. You know how when you’re at an intersection and the light has one of those fancy extra “green arrows”? Well, when that green arrow disappears, and incoming traffic is moving toward you, I found out that’s when you need to floor it and try to make your turn in one piece. Or at least that’s what the little college shithead behind me thought I should have done. It’s interesting how when you act faux pissed in these situations by waving your arms around and banging your head on the steering wheel (all while blaring on your horn after getting honked at) how they tend to stay away from you when the green arrow comes back on. I’ve already figured out my death. The last payment to the house will have gone through and someone is going to shoot me during the afternoon work commute. 6:30 p.m. • Crap, March Madness is tomorrow, sans that gay play-in game. Time for this year's brackkkets. East: North Carolina (1) d Mt. St. Mary (16) Arkansas (9) d Indiana (8) Notre Dame (5) d George Mason (12) Please God don’t let George Mason win. I don’t want to hear “OMG they’re going to do it again!” Winthrop (13) d Washington State (4) St. Joseph’s (11) d Oklahoma (6) Louisville (3) d Boise State Butler (7) d South Alabama (10) Tennessee (2) d American (15) North Carolina (1) d Arkansas (9) Notre Dame (5) d Winthrop (13) Louisville (3) d St. Joe’s (11) Tennessee (2) d Butler (7) North Carolina (1) d Notre Dame (5) Tennessee (2) d Louisville (3) Tennessee (2) d North Carolina (1) Midwest: Kansas (1) d Portland State (16) UNLV (8) d Kent State (9) Clemson (5) d Villanova (12) Siena (13) d Vanderbilt (4) USC (6) d Kansas State (11) Wisconsin (3) d CS Fullerton (14) Davidson (10) d Gonzaga (7) Georgetown (2) d UMBC (15) Kansas (1) d UNLV (8) Clemson (5) d Siena (13) Wisconsin (3) d USC (6) Georgetown (2) d Davidson (10) Clemson (5) d Kansas (1) Wisconsin (3) d Georgetown (2) Clemson (5) d Wisconsin (3) South: Memphis (1) d UT-Arlington (16) Oregon (9) d Mississippi State (8) Michigan State (5) d Temple (12) Shitt (4) d Oral Roberts (13) Kentucky (11) d Marquette (6) Stanford (3) d Cornell (14) Miami (7) d St. Mary’s (10) Texas (2) d Austin Peay (15) Memphis (1) d Oregon (9) Michigan State (5) d Shitt (4) Stanford (3) d Kentucky (11) Texas (2) d Miami (7) Memphis (1) d Michigan State (5) Texas (2) d Stanford (3) Texas (2) d Memphis (1) West: UCLA (1) d Mississippi Valley (16) Texas A&M (9) d BYU (8) Drake (5) d Western Kentucky (12) Connecticut (4) d San Diego (13) Baylor (11) d Purdue (6) Xavier (3) d Georgia (14) West Virginia (7) d Arizona (10) Duke (2) d Belmont (15) UCLA (1) d Texas A&M (9) Drake (5) d Connecticut (4) Baylor (11) d Xavier (3) Duke (2) d West Virginia (7) UCLA (1) d Drake (5) Duke (2) d Baylor (11) UCLA (1) d Duke (2) Final Four Tennessee (2) d Clemson (5) UCLA (1) d Texas (2) UCLA (1) d Tennessee (2) Notes: As usual, I put zero thought into these picks and went with my first hunch (most of the time -- see below). I originally had Villanova getting to the fourth round, but I stopped myself because I always get burned on picking a "Big East" sleeper. Even though I think Pitt has a chance, they ALWAYS do well in the conference tournament and falter in the national tournament. As usual, I'll forget who I picked 20 minutes from now and when watching the games tomorrow I'll be cheering for the wrong teams.

8:30 p.m. • Looks like I'm not the only one going senile in the kkk household. You can figure out who is who: "What were you listening to upstairs? There was a lot of yelling." "The song." "When did you get that." *shakes head* "What?" "You got it for me as a Christmas present." "I did?" "Yes." "Oh..." And fuck the people that dont think that AMERICA TOATALLY OWNS, UR JUST MAD U SAND NIGGERS THAT UR NOT IN AMERICA. • So I went to look up some article on Barack Osama RACIST pastor and here were the first headlines that popped up on Google News. An Effort to Bridge a Divide Obama's race speech hits receptive ears in Gwinnett Obama's Race Speech Heralded as Historic Oh, there won't be any favorable coverage this election for one candidate. Say, did you all know that John McCain served in Vietnam? Did you know he was still alive? I'm being serious -- is he still with us? • The guy is blind for God's sake -- he has the perfect excuse. All he has to say is that he was congested on his selected days of forbidden passion and couldn't detect anything from the smell. Actually, the best part of all this is the photo that goes along with this article. Here's the headline: New NY Governor Admits Affairs Years Ago And here's the pic.

7 p.m. • So on the drive home from work today we passed up this place that always has politically incorrect stuff on its marquee. I know I talked about this bar/restaurant before, but I can’t find it when I performed a search. Anyway, there is also this listing for upcoming local bands that will be playing there, and with that I give you the latest chat I shared with Mrs. kkk. You can figure out who is who: “Hey, do you spell ‘Van Halen’ as ‘H-e-l-o-n?” “No.” “Is it ‘H-e-l-e-n’?” “No.” “Yes it is.” “No, it’s not.” “Well then what is it?” “H-a-l-e-n?” “That’s what I said.” “No. You said ‘H-e-l-e-n.” “Well you know what I meant.” “…” Oh, and here’s a video montage of some of this guy’s signs. • Remember "Wet Back Wednesday"? Here's a Oddly enough, it was in that little "More From" column next to the first video posted in this entry. And it just wouldn't be a Shittsburgh video without some guy in a Steelers hat.

Bravo. I'll glady contribute by making the "Awwww, but they're just CHILDREN" remark, which used to be a mainstay in the CE folder (not sure if it still is).

12 p.m. • So I’ve been watching through On Demand this “Parking Wars” show. Basically, it’s a look at the Philadelphia Parking Authority and its employees – from those that walk around the streets putting tickets on windshields to those that place boots on cars to those that perform the actual towing to those that work at the impound lot. All I can say is thank God I don’t live in Philadelphia. However, as I watched the latest episode I got the thinking: Which one of these jobs would be the best/worst. Let’s see: Meter Maid: Plusses Get to go outside and get plenty of fresh city air. Many of the fines you write are small, so the public OUTRAGE isn’t as bad. There are times when you can just ticket and run without being spotted. Minuses You’re outside in city. Many times you’re alone. Angry ticket-receivers approach you. Boot Putter-On People: Plusses You’re in a vehicle. There’s a teammate with you. Even though you’ll be spotted some times, I’m sure there are a number of instances where you can boot a vehicle and get the hell out. Minuses You have to get out of the vehicle to put on a boot. This is Philly, so chances are you’ll be paired up with a black person. City driving. Tow Truck Driver. Pluses You’re in a vehicle. Minuses It takes longer to get a vehicle in tow, so it’s probable that you’d be spotted. Impound Employee Pluses You’ve got backup around you. You’re protected behind a sheet of glass. Minuses You’re dealing with people you can’t run away from. The fines are rather hefty, so the people coming in are going to be more pissed off. ... Wow. Honestly, I don’t know which one of these jobs I’d take. Probably the person that does the booting.

8 p.m. • So I heard one of Mrs. kkk’s friends is having marital problems. Well, the problem (at least for the friend) is that she’s not married yet to the father of one of her two kids. Well, this guy isn’t the most responsible person in the world, and the better half’s friend does all of the cooking, cleaning, etc. This and work a full-time job and take care of the kids. Well, it’s the one crumb-snatcher’s birthday in a few days and Mrs. kkk’s friend went with her dad to get a sandbox from Toys R Us. When she asked her baby’s daddy to watch the kids for an hour or so while the sandbox was getting purchased/transported/etc., this guy say the quote of the week. “What do I look like – a babysitter?”

8 p.m. • So I just spent two hours doing something that could be saved for the workplace. However, I can sleep better tonight knowing it’s over and done with. (No, it’s not masturbation.) Most of the work involved getting into that “zone” where you just go at it until it’s finished. Whenever I get into one of these situations I usually put on a song and just keep looping it until I’m finished. About halfway through my work I found a song that I worked rather well with and hit the “repeat” button on the CD player. What was tonight’s song? Bruce Springsteen’s “Night.” If you haven’t heard it, (The video option is being bad for me right now.) Dude’s a commie for sure, but you can’t say he doesn’t give his audience their money’s worth. Unless it’s that “Philadelphia” piece of shit or that “57 channels” song. I remember when that video came out on MTV my one friend turned to me and said, "That was Bruce Springsteen, right?"