kkktookmybabyaway

6:15 p.m. • Well here's something I can find common ground with Ms. Ferraro on. I never saw Barack Osama as a viable presidential candidate ever ... ever... • So this idea is stupid... And the "jokes" are unfunny... ...but this got me the thinking. What political party would my cats belong to? Dessa This little bitch is a Republican through and through. She hates all other cats, throws a fit whenever one of her housemates pounces on her (but it's OK for her to chase any of them when she feels like it), and hops up my lap and gnaws at my hand should I try to pet her. But whenever there's a someone at the door she runs off and hides like any chickenhawk would (then again, out of my three she is the one most likely to kill a bird). JJ JJ is an interesting case. He's not very bright and oblivious to his surroundings. If he ever applied himself, he'd be a total bad-ass. However, he's content with just being dumb. I'd say he'd be one of those mindless masses that don't vote but would probably go Democrat if he decided to visit a ballot box. Max I'm not sure about this one. When we first got him he was very submissive and would run away from Dessa if she would give him a mean look from across the room. But then he soon discovered that she was all bark and no bite, so now he makes his life's work to stalk and jump on her just so she'd scream and make a fuss. Since he likes torturing our feline Republican, this should make him a Democrat. He's extremely lazy, too, until it's feeding time in which he'll jump around like a welfare collector waiting for the local post office to open on the first of every month. Then again, he sheds like a mo' fo', which means he's a polluter. However, he's BLACK~! Maybe he's a libertarian.

Dan, he'd do it to kids that aren't even his.

9 p.m. • Well, there goes the neighborhood. Christ, six weeks of ads for these two. I can't wait. Yeah, building windmills all across the country -- except anywhere near a Kennedy residence. 8 p.m. • So I saw this headline on Brietbart's video clips: Boy Dies After Playmates Bury Him in Sandbox to Imitate Cartoon. I then went to Google news to get a story to see which cartoon is going to get shit on now. Well, if this causes Naruto to get shitcanned, I know that the hosts of "X-Play" will be delighted because this probably means the video game line will be gone as well. • Eh, big deal. The guy had a life jacket on.

8 p.m. • Do I even need to make a "How about a Thou Shalt Not Have Sex With Boys" remark with this one? • Resign? Hell, in that state (New York), he'd be a shoo-in for re-election. Had this been a male prostitution ring, he'd be guv for life. • The fact this person would be anywhere NEAR poon gives me that vomit-gag-taste in my mouth.

8:30 a.m. • So this article got my interest today in the Shittsburgh Post-Gazette (I picked up the publication’s “early edition” yesterday while filling up the car on the way home from an extra day at work – yes, I’m doing the “work on Saturday” thing again. And I didn’t get this liberal rag because this article was the top-of-fold cover story. I got it because it had $98 worth of coupons.) Here’s the headline: Rising costs, frugal customers pinch restaurants at both ends Basically, it’s talking about how it’s HARDER THAN EVER for restaurants to attract customers due to the TERRIBLE ECONOMY. Here were my favorite parts. OK, I love how vendors are now adding “fuel surcharges.” Just increase your total bill. Will there be a “wheat surcharge” or “dairy surcharge” at pizza shops when vendors increase their prices due to rising costs for these products? No. Then why fuel? Because we can blame BIG OIL and their OBSCENE PROFITS. I’m not saying increased fuel prices don’t hurt a business. One of my biggest fears about increasing gas prices isn’t the extra few dollars I have to pay to put fuel in my car – it’s how increases the price of everything. However, taking this one extra cost of doing business, singling it out and itemizing it is lame. Here was another golden nugget. But… but… I thought raising the minimum wage wouldn’t affect anybody or anything. I thought all those “you raise the minimum wage and the people who need these entry-level jobs the most won’t get them” chicken littles were practicing right-wing fear-mongering tactics. Maybe Kings restaurant donated to Bush in the ’04 election. Yeah, that’s it. And despite all of these obstacles and doom-and-gloom, restaurants still experienced sales growth, albeit at a reduced rate. 4 p.m. • Yeah, "creative solutions." Read: Rate hike. • Well, at least the Post Office has this windfall to rely on. I got my letter yesterday. What's really funny is that people who get this letter and don't read it will then bitch about something or other related to this program in May. And Schmuck Jewmer, what would you like to have on the letter: every name of every Democrat in Congress? For the record, this sort of bitching went on back in '01 when W. got those rebate checks mailed. Personally, I don't think these letters should be mailed. There should be some civic-related requirement, meaning if you don't pay attention to the news and don't know about this give-away then you deserve what you get -- or don't get.

I don't know the person, but he's from my neck of the woods and well...

You know, and I was thinking just the other day how this world needs more lawyers.

May the six-year-old was coming on to him with her Barbies and such. Let us know if he tries to talk to you now -- I'd be curious to know how he tries to explain this, if at all. My "rapist" story: The better half's friend has a friend who went out with this guy who was in his early 20s. He was at a party and got two under-age girls drunk (mid-to-late teens, I think) and had sex with them. They cried rape and the whole thing went to court. He was cleared on rape chargers, but got a year or so for "corruption of minors." His dad was a local public official and lost in the next election in a job that doesn't normally get much competition.

Wow, you really are into Glenn Beck. Roth IRA here.

Best wishes. (Was I the only one who thought it odd that after reading Ripper's thread title you saw Chazz's post first?) And if you will have to be out of your apartment for an extended period of time, here's a possible answer for the cat situation.

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 2: Dr. Tom Reporting for duty, General. Actually, considering the Doctor has been out (of TSM, not the closet) for quite some time, I don’t think it matters much if I show up to polish up the Ann Coulter bazookas. You might be wondering to yourself how come I have listed in the poop chute some poster who hasn’t posted for years, much like two of the last four posters mentioned on this list? (You could make the case nl-asshole would make it a clean sweep, but fagpants still shows up every now and then.) Well because during his stint as moderator, Dr. Tom was a considerable voice of reason in the CE forums. Sure he was a bit on the Republican side, but at the time he was considered a fair voice in message board matters (He banned someone over THIS back in the day. Although it's interesting to note that my lame jokes haven't changed much in almost six years.) Hell, he even closed threads making fun of JEWS. And even though he was stern with his “keep the fluff out” ideology, he didn’t have a problem with letting his hair down (actually, I don’t think his hair is all that long to begin with) and inviting all of us TSM regulars to a grand ol’ shindig in the DC area. (Speaking of “keep the fluff out,” who can forget the line “Stories about men severing their own penises, fishermen getting anally violated with bananas, and anything else that's similar to that is fluff.") Even though Tom volunteered to be General of one of the worst message board cliques ever to appear at this place, like many other members of the Conservative Brigade he wasn’t much for the fundies in the GOP. And while we agreed on many issues, there were a few we parted ways with, such as Internet piracy. Now he’s a regular at the other place, much like other exiled brethren. Let's see how my views have changed over time. This was in a thread about laws you would support or something like that. Bold text is what Tom said. Regular text is my response back in '04. Italic text is updated comments by me today. ************************************************ Legalize (and tax the sale of) all drugs. Build penalties into the system so that anyone who harms someone else while under the influence gets the book thrown at them, hard. Mostly agree -- I really don't care about this issue though. If you get busted, don't bitch. Pretty much have the same attitude. ************************************************ Legalize prostitution and devise safety controls based on the NV model. Sure. Whatever. It won't be my dick. I pay enough for poon. ************************************************ Legalize euthenasia. Works for me Still works for me. ************************************************ Repeal McCain-Feingold. Yes Hell yes. God damnit, John. ************************************************ Legalize gambling, again using the NV system as a model. Yeppers Ditto. ************************************************ Send the gay marriage issue to the states for referendum. No because when one state adopts it it'll have to be recognized in every state. Put a gay marriage vote in front of me and vote it down. ************************************************ Allow felons convicted of nonviolent crimes the right to vote. No, only because they'll probably vote democrat. This was a joke. I really don't care about this issue. If it's on the books as law, then don't commit a felony. ************************************************ A simple flat tax, with several tiers based on income, to replace the income tax. Build tax breaks into the system for small business owners and families with multiple children. Disagree only because a flat tax with tiers based on income sounds like an income tax to me. I still like my national sales tax. ************************************************ Double aid to Israel and remove the leash. Don't Jews have enough money? I agree with the leash comment. This wasn't a joke. ************************************************ Real commitment to cut spending in the federal government. No -- I want more pork projects. Of course I agree. Good thing we had those small government Republicans in office to keep spending in check. ************************************************ The execution of all lobbyists in DC. Sure, except for the ones representing my interests. Still think that. ************************************************ A complete change to the bill policies of Congress, so that ridiculous pork can't be attached to an existing bill. Anyting proposed must have its own bill, not ride on the coattails of a larger one. Agree. Never happen though. Still not going to happen. ************************************************ Term limits in Congress. 12 years is all you get. No -- the ballot box solves "term limits," even if that means Ted Kennedy has a job in DC. I'm actually starting to change my opinion on this one. I think that voters impose term limits at the ballot box, but I also think public service isn't a lifetime job. The exception to this is you spend a term or two as a state rep, then senator, then Congressperson, U.S. Senator, etc. You shouldn't be in office to collect a pension, and if term limits halts this, then I'll support the effort. ************************************************ Restructure copyright and intellectual property laws so that companies don't have an eternal stranglehold on creations. Things are supposed to go into the public domain at some point. As an addendum, legalize file sharing to make archaic fuckheaded conglomerates like the RIAA devise a working business model for the digital age. Sorta agree. Don't care about file sharing, but I agree more with the first part. Still feel the same. ************************************************ There you have it. Not sure what the pont of this was, but when I was about half-way through this list I figured I might as well finish it -- sorta like swimming halfway across a lake, getting tired and swimming back. And then there was one. See you in six months... 9 p.m. • So I heard about this story on the radio and wondered where it was taking place. I'm so proud. Now here's what I love about the media. The article starts off by saying how SOME students are BOYCOTTING a popular campus bar. Then the article turns to some passers-by who think the ad is OFFENSIVE. WOW, almost 260 students. Time to mobolize. But wait, what have we here... And here's the best part of the story, oddly enough found in the last sentence. Keep those web petitions coming, kids. You're making quite a difference there.

8:30 p.m. • Some more wedded bliss. Peep the following conversation that took place earlier today. You can figure out who is who. “Do we have any noodles?” “What kind?” “It doesn’t matter.” “We got egg noodles in the basement.” “I wasn’t talking about those.” “What kind were you talking about?” “You know.” “No, I don’t.” “Those oodles of noodles (which is what she calls those Ramen Noodles.” “I don’t know.” Of course, now she’s on a Ramen kick, which means she’s going to go out and buy a shitload of these things. This of course means she’ll get tired of eating them after the second or third bag. This of course means we’ll either have them in our house for the next five years or I’ll be forced to eat these things. Joy. • OK, so this is funny. When it comes to this topic, I don’t venture into smoky establishments. However, I feel it should be the employer’s right to decide if their business should be a smoking or non-smoking business. The only exception to this is if the business rents the property and the property owners don’t permit smoking. And I loathe the argument of “Well what about the employees?” Uh, GET ANOTHER JOB. Even in this HORRID BUSH ECONOMY, it’s not that difficult to get a job in the food-service industry. Shouldn’t a prospective employee have the foresight in the interview process to figure out that they might have some stinky outfits at the end of every shift? • Oh you got to be fucking kidding me. If you can't save up from now until when this HD switch is to take place, you shouldn't be watching television in the first place. You should be getting a job. Gee, who would imagine that a government handout would cost more than its anticipated sum? I'm shocked, SHOCKED. Good thing our soon-to-be government health care will be free. • Speaking of free health care, today we got the bill for the procedure Mrs. kkk had for getting the dead fetus out of her. More than $7,000. For a 15-minute operation. The anesthesia bill came out to more than two grand. Our copay? $60. Yeah, that'll make a dent to that bottom line. I can't even imagine how much it would have been if kkk jr. would have lived.

Good luck. I shudder to think what you'll be paying at the Shittsburgh AI. My one friend went there 10+ years ago and the tuition was high enough. How long do those credits stay valid?

7:45 p.m. • If you can’t find the joke in this one then shame on you. Actually, I don’t get the whole “Our children NEED laptops.” Then again, I had my school years just before the whole computer thing really took off. I have to laugh because I remember doing a research paper in high school on this piece of shit word processor my mom bought because it was the “latest” thing. My how the times have changed. As I was entering college, the Internet began to emerge. Oh the days of going into chatrooms without web cams or those audio recorders. A much easier time to pretend you were an 18-year-old hottie with a D cup size. I get that computer skills are more important than ever, but I still have doubts when hearing how it should be mandatory that the State give every kid a laptop. Can we start slow, like say make sure these kids can read? Oh, and since we’re making fun of one of the more dependable red states out there, here's one of my favorite South Park live-action segments. Oh, and peep this version. It's always interesting to see the type of person they hire to do the voices in these situations. Oh, and... ...whoever thinks the above video is funny needs beaten. And beaten hard. 8:15 p.m. • Yeah, because drug dealers will just stop selling drugs if the State bans little baggies. I can see it now: SUPER-SIZE ME~!

Wow, NoCal, sorry to hear the news.

8:30 p.m. • So Favre’s done. I was never a huge Favre fan, but he did have one hell of a career. I’m not sure if it’s my Mid-Atlantic bias or whatnot, but I’ve never really considered him one of the NFL’s all-time greats. If people consider him to be, then so be it. I’m not sure what’s more surprising: That he wants to call it a career after throwing that interception in the NFC Conference Championship or deciding on whether or not he’s going to play the next season so early into an off-season. • Guess nobody in his party had a resurrection spell. Peace out. I’m not sure if I was a true D&D gamer. When I was a kid, I loved going through this stuff, but I never had the patience (or the friends) to actually get a game going. I remember one time I actually tried putting an adventure together and one of the people in the party was being a smart ass about 5 minutes in – he wanted to walk past the CAVE OF ADVENTURE and move somewhere off the OFFICIAL MAP. I got pissed, said a lightning bolt struck his character and he died. I think I got up, walked over and punched him in the arm. A few minutes later we all were doing something else. Even now I like going through D&D books just for the artwork. I always get a laugh at how in the Monster Manuals many of the illustrations show the bad guys pwning their opponents. And while I grew up with the Basic manual that showed the fighter and chick wizard fighting some water lizard. Then there was the EXPERT rules, which showed a Dick Cheney-like wizard behind the scenes pulling all the strings. And I always stayed away from that Advanced shit. I mean look at this bad-ass coming at you here. I don’t care how good that chick’s poon is – bitch, you’re on your own. And don’t even get me started on the rule changes that have taken place with the newer versions with those +5 initiatives and other micro shit that would make someone like me recoil in horror; I want to kill bad guys with my sword, not try to get a stealth bonus with my bugbear ranger. Give me an elf that can wear metal armor AND cast spells and put him with a fighter, cleric, magic-user, thief and I’m set. Memories:

5:15 p.m. • So if you know a couple who went through a miscarriage, and you actually care about these people, DON’T do the following: 1) Say “Well that means the baby was probably deformed or something.” 2) Mail a Jesus booklet with a headline on the cover that says “You baby is dead.” Did I tell you who did both things? My mom. And the sad thing is she’s trying to be supportive. I’m not offended or anything, but it’s bad enough when the “baby” or “new parent” free magazines show up in the mail. Speaking of my mom and the mail, when that dead baby booklet showed up in the mail, there was a letter from the mailman that said I owed 32 cents. My guess is that the dead baby book wasn’t accurately weighed. So I went into the ol’ piggy bank, put in 32 pennies and placed the “IOU” envelope back in the mailbox. But hey, at least the post office figured out the right address this time. Uh oh. • I finally got around to watching the “My Big Redneck Wedding” show in which my region was featured. Let’s run down the checklist of what I saw on the program that made me feel right at home: Pickup truck that’s cleaner than their house? Check. Steeler jersey? Check. Lemieux jersey? Check. Reception held at fire hall? Check. OK, now here’s what scared me. The groom’s wedding band was purchased at the same place I bought mine. Additionally, Mrs. kkk’s wedding dress and the show’s bride-to-be got both of their garments from the identical location. Hilarious.

Well, yes and no. I did make a type-o, but that's how it's spelled in the urban version.

5:15 p.m. • Snow snow I hate snow. Actually, the drive wasn’t that bad home from work today. It took twice as long, but traffic was slow. Eh, whatever. At least we were moving. Funny thing was some jangala Oryctolagus cuniculus coming home from school hit our car with a snowball. It would have been funny to put it in reverse and plow into the herd, but then I’d be charged with a hate crime.

We were in Wilkinsburg. Would YOU want to stick around there?

Actually, I'm surprised Marvin is considered this "bad." I don't know what he's like in CE, but he cannot possibly be worse than those who posted there in the folder's heyday. Other than him flaking out on my pick 'em contests and having trouble with some basic social skills (and this coming from me), I find nothing wrong with him. However, if we're going to continue to pick on the kid of the week at the playground, I call dibs on his lunch money.

8:15 p.m. • Wow. This dreadful economy has hit EVERYONE. • Yesterday I was watching PTI and they had this bit about Greg Oden being a Barack Osama fan and Wilbon practically had an orgasm over the whole thing. Good God. So the guy likes a politician who spoke with him. Big deal. However, Wilbon then said that it was soooooo great to see and hear an athlete talk about politics/race/etc. Here’s what Oden wrote. OK, so… …was a funny line. But back to Wilbon. I wouldn’t be comparing Oden with Jim Brown just yet. In fact, the discussion turned for a bit to athletes like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods that didn’t take the time to turn their spotlight in the public eye to talk about issues. Hell, one of the reasons I like Woods is that he just show up, does his thing and wins. In fact, the only person that doesn’t seem to make a big deal about Tiger’s skin color is Tiger himself. And while I wouldn’t consider Jordan outspoken when it comes to politics, he did campaign for Bill Bradley in the 2000 Democrat primary. (I’m also fairly certain he didn’t attend a White House ceremony with Bush I after the Bulls won a title, but I could be wrong on this one.) 8:45 p.m. • Hmmm, I don’t recall these signs anywhere near me. Of course, my first thought upon reading the above article was this post made back in ’06. Time for a trip to the ar-kkk-ives.

5:30 p.m. • Oh, this is brilliant. If anything these taxes will just be passed on to us, and one big reason prices are "high" is because the rest of the world is catching up with us, such as China and India. Here's a thought: If the demand is much higher, then we should increase the supply. Don't want to drill in America? Well then you must pay higher prices. If you want to tax Big Oil just to suck more money out of them, that's fine -- just be honest about it. And what the hell has that got to do with helping the little guy when it will only make matters worse? • Yeah, boo-hoo and all that. Now here's the part where I wish the snake would have eaten one of the parents instead. Then again, when Max had problems peeing, we didn't notice it until it was almost too late. Then again, there wasn't a predator in his litter box.

7:30 p.m. • I don't know how Smues can do it -- I'm already sick of the snow and it hasn't really been all that bad a season (so far). • Bad break for the Rockets. I've always liked Yao and T-Mac -- even though neither can get out of the first round of the playoffs. • I have no clue who any of these people are, but Mark Madden said on his radio show today that he didn't like the trades. He follows this stuff much more than I do. All I have to say is that it feels weird for a Pittsburgh team to be active at the trade deadline trying to get talent for the here and now rather than dumping payroll and snagging "prospects." • Now I really don't care for the Black Crowes, but shouldn't you at least listen to a band's entire album before giving a review? I remember years ago a local film critic panned Halloween H2O but gave an inaccurate body count because he showed up to the film late. SPOILERZ~! Myers offed a couple kids in the early minutes and the critic made some remark about how so few people died and counted two less dead than there actually was (or whatever the miscount turned out to be). SPOILERZ~! That's all I got for this.

8 p.m. • So I talked about this show a while back, but tonight I actually got around to watching a few episodes. Oh. My. God. But the best part was the eHarmony ads during the commercial break of a program which featured a bride with dentures and a groom who spells his beloved's name while peeing on the street. • I found this in the "odd" story section, but I don't find it strange at all. In fact, I think it's a good idea. I remember seeing a TV show that talked about this girl raising funds for the local police dogs to wear bullet-proof vests. Hey, these animals are many times the first to run into a skirmish so they should get protection. And if you think I'm being an animal-rights wacko, remember all the money spent training these K-9 cops and that some simple protection could mean the difference between several more years on the job and a quick trip to the big doghouse in the sky. Besides, many police dogs contribute more to society than the trash they're often urged to take down.