kkktookmybabyaway

Deadline has come and gone. Doyle is using EPs.

10:45 p.m. • OK, for the love of God, Bob Costas, please stop making that forced laugh on Sunday Night Football whenever Keith Olbermann makes a wisecrack during his highlights. I've said it before: Even though Keith should be strung up for treason, I think he's excellent at doing sports highlights. You don't need to have laughter in the background. Trust me. It's not necessary. 9 p.m. • Oh hell no. I'll tell you what. The GOP choice of candidates aren't really doing much for me, outside of Rudy. The only thing I like about Huckabee is that he's for a national sales tax. However, that's about the ONLY think I like about him. Romney is just there -- no way he'd win in a general election. Thompson: meh. I didn't bother reading the title to the following link on Drudge, but it pretty much speaks for itself: The Jesus freaks are for Romney and Huckabee and non-Jesus freaks are for McCain and Giuliani. Add the percentages up and it looks like the Republican voters are split with 32 percent going for Romney and Huckabee and 32 percent going for Giuliani. Who's backing Thompson? People who watch "Law and Order." It's still too early to see who will break out. But what about the Democrats? You came to the wrong place for that. I still say Hitlery is going to get the nomination because if Obama or Edwards takes a big lead nationally, they'll wind up dead. • I just noticed I forgot to give a TB score for the Steeler game. Oops. 11:45 a.m. • This local story has been on my nerves for a while. Basically, the county that engulfs Shittsburgh is going to tax booze to fix a funding gap in our region’s pisspoor Port Authority system. Now here’s what pisses me off: Why the hell do restaurant owners have to suffer because the government is unable to maintain an efficient transit system. Isn’t it great that you can tax things that have nothing to do with a funding issue? Wow, that will really make the Port Authority change its ways. Why, in two years when nothing changes, the Allegheny County can tax potato chips or universal remotes! I liked this newsbit in particular. Dan Onorato is the county executive, and while I like a number of things he does (even for a Democrat), he’s wrong on this one. And that’s also why I live outside Allegheny County. I often wonder why other businesses don’t itemize the true costs of their products, especially gas stations. Fine, put the final cost for a gallon of fuel on your marquee sign. However, while a person is filling up at $3 per gallon, put a chart on each of your pumps showing how much of a take your friendly federal, state and local governments have on your wallet. 9:15 a.m. • Since just about every team is resting its starters, I'll do the same. However, by "resting my starters," I mean "give picks with no explaining." Buffalo (2.5) Carolina Cincinnati Dallas Green Bay (3.5) Jacksonville New Orleans Baltimore Seattle San Francisco Indianapolis (3.5) Minnesota San Diego Arizona (6.5) <---- called an audible Kansas City

My favorite part.

Deadline for the Pats/Giants game has come and gone.

Went to the brother-in-law's place. Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn and rolls. I’m not hard to please.

If you are looking for a career in writing or publishing, then you should be more concerned with building a portfolio (writing clips/etc.). In my job interviews over the years, not once has the question of my GPA ever been raised. If you still care about your grades, then focus more on getting on a Dean's List or other honor programs that will show you got good grades. One thing I can't stand when going to a white-collar job interview is filling out those same applications you received when you were in high school and applied for work in the food-service or retail industry.

It was mentioned in the next-to-last paragraph. Perfectly acceptable, if this is what he's best-known for up until his (alleged) DUI homicide. Now if the article started out with this information, then I would feel your pain. Well, not really, because I was pulling for the Yankees to beat the Braves.

11:59 p.m. • So the paperwork finally came through and I'll be working at another place of employment in '08. The question now is when do I quit my current job. For as much as I want to get the hell out of there, I just know if I do so Monday, they will do everything in their power to screw me out of my vacation/holiday time for the past week. Now I'm in the mood for some workplace stories, so expect a few in the near future. 12:45 p.m. • Good boy.

Quit being a hater. Leno can own as many of those things as he wants. From Wiki: Here's an article about his food service career.

3 p.m. • More fun at work. Peep the following e-mail exchange from earlier today “Do you happen to have the minutes from Meeting X in Connecticut?” “Yes.” “Well, I need them.” “You want me to bring them upstairs?” “Yes, since you didn’t let me know you had them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “But they (the minutes) were addressed to me.” “I know that but you know that you don’t “get” them.” Just because they were addressed to me I should have known they were intended for someone else. Ok then. • Now we all know some of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male. But what about some of the worst things you can do to a Muslim female? Oh, yeah. Killing them. That would suck.

10 p.m. • So the better half and I went out to the malls and shit today for some DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS sales. Meh. I don’t really care for the “Day After” sales because they’re not really that good. Plus everybody and their mother are out either returning gifts or spending money/gift cards they go the day before. As an added bonus, due to all the shit I’ve eaten for the last few days I think it finally caught up with me. Blech. To make matters worse, it wasn’t that cold out today (damn you global warming), and the jacket I had on was making me hella hot. Add up all these factors and I had the mother of all headaches today. Bummer. When we got home today I went straight for the Tylenol and the bed. I woke up about 10 minutes ago and figure that I better get my ass to sleep rather soon if I’m to properly deal with going in to work tomorrow. Then again, work probably won’t be all that bad, especially since I’ll have off Friday and Tuesday. Mother fucker, JJ is rolling around on the computer desk and he just fell onto the keyboard. It’s rather odd: the upstairs rooms seem to be his “lair,” although Max generally hangs up here, especially during the summer months. However, JJ will just sit up here for days at a time, only coming down for meals and whenever he gets a spurt of energy. Well, at least my headache’s gone. Oh, I almost forgot (or wanted to forget): We paid a stop to Babies R Us. When she was pricing cribs and all that other baby stuff she was aghast at the prices and said, "where are the baby items for those on a budget?" My reply: "Target." That actually got a laugh out of her. Oh, and there are these things called "Pregger Pops" that are supposed to help with morning sickness and all that other shit knocked up women go through. That's all I got.

We are so not getting white anything. That's one thing we agreed upon. I don't care if it's a girl, I don't want any prissy, faggy colors. She'll just be a tomboy.

It'll probably be 4 months. And how much more shit could they observe in 90 days time? And I know my house will be overrun. I've accepted that fact. It's bad enough with our cats. I can't wait until Dessa starts pissing on anything that resembles a rattle or bib.

I'm sure we'll be mooching off of some people we know for baby stuff. And one thing we agree on is getting a crib that turns into a bed for when the thing gets older.

So did the wife go overboard in buying shit for your crumb-snatcher? (I'm guessing "no" because she's somewhat rational.) The better half is already talking about "baby's first Christmas."

(7.5) Pittsburgh @ St. Louis (10.5) Dallas @ Carolina (3.5) Cleveland @ Cincinnati (9.5) Green Bay @ Chicago Houston @ Indianapolis (7.5) Kansas City @ Detroit (4.5) Miami @ New England (100) (22.5) (3.5) N.Y. Giants @ Buffalo Oakland @ Jacksonville (13.5) Philadelphia @ New Orleans (3.5) Washington @ Minnesota (6.5) Atlanta @ Arizona (10.5) Baltimore @ Seattle (10.5) N.Y. Jets @ Tennessee (8.5) (6.5) Tampa Bay @ San Francisco Denver @ San Diego (8.5) Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 9-6) d St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 5-10) 6-4 PIT: STL/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/DET/NE/BUF/JAX/NO/WAS/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/21 STL: STL/DAL/CLE/GB/HOU/DET/NE/NYG/OAK/NO/WAS/AZ/BAL/TEN/TB/SD/17 DIFF: IND/HOU, BUF/NYG, JAX/OAK, SEA/BAL, 21/17 Dallas (Hawk34 9-5-1) d Carolina (Fazzle 8-7) 8-5 DAL: STL/DAL/CIN/GB/IND/DET/MIA/BUF/JAX/PHI/MIN/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/27 CAR: XX/DAL/CLE/GB/HOU/KC/MIA/BUF/JAX/NO/MIN/ATL/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/16 DIFF: CIN/CLE, IND/HOU, DET/KC, PHI/NO, AZ/ATL Cleveland (sfaJack 8-7) d Cincinnati (Teke 7-8) 10-6 CLE: PIT/CAR/CLE/CHI/IND/DET/MIA/BUF/JAX/PHI/MIN/AZ/SEA/NYJ/TB/SD/22 CIN: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/DET/NE/BUF/JAX/NO/WAS/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/17 DIFF: CAR/DAL, CHI/GB, MIA/NE, PHI/NO, MIN/WAS, NYJ/TEN, 22/17 Green Bay (Vitamin X 7-8) d by Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 8-7) 7-10 GB: PIT/CAR/CLE/CHI/HOU/DET/NE/BUF/OAK/PHI/WAS/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/DEN/23 CHI: PIT/DAL/CLE/CHI/IND/DET/MIA/BUF/OAK/PHI/WAS/ATL/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/16 DIFF: CAR/DAL, HOU/IND, NE/MIA, AZ/ATL, DEN/SD Houston (Bored 6-9) d by Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 6-9) 7-8 HOU: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/KC/NE/NYG/JAX/PHI/MIN/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/17 IND: XX/XXX/CIN/CHI/IND/DET/NE/BUF/JAX/NO/MIN/AZ/SEA/TEN/SF/SD/EP DIFF: PIT/XXX, CLE/CIN, GB/CHI, KC/DET, NYG/BUF, PHI/NO, TB/SF, 17/EP Kansas City (Alfdogg 9-6) d by Detroit (Chazz1998 10-5) 8-8+TB KC: PIT/CAR/CLE/GB/IND/DET/MIA/BUF/JAX/NO/MIN/AZ/BAL/NYJ/TB/SD/13(-20=7) DET: STL/DAL/CIN/CHI/IND/KC/NE/BUF/JAX/NO/WAS/ATL/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/21(-25=4) DIFF: PIT/STL, CAR/DAL, CLE/CIN, GB/CHI, DET/KC, MIA/NE, MIN/WAS, AZ/ATL, BAL/SEA, NYJ/TEN, 13/21 Miami (Spaceman Spiff 10-5) d New England (nl-asshole 5-10) 8-6 MIA: PIT/CAR/CLE/GB/IND/KC/NE/NYG/JAX/NO/MIN/ATL/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/17 NE: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/KC/NE/BUF/JAX/NO/MIN/ATL/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/41 DIFF: CAR/DAL, NYG/BUF, 17/41 N.Y. Giants (Cartman 7-8) d by Buffalo (Bob Barron 9-6) 6-7 NYG: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/HOU/KC/NE/NYG/JAX/NO/MIN/ATL/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/20 BUF: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/KC/MIA/BUF/JAX/NO/MIN/AZ/SEA/NYJ/TB/SD/17 DIFF: HOU/IND, NE/MIA, NYG/BUF, ATL/AZ, TEN/NYJ Oakland (Smues 8-7) d Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 6-9) 8-8+TB OAK: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/HOU/DET/MIA/NYG/JAX/NO/WAS/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/16(-11=5) JAX: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/DET/NE/NYG/JAX/PHI/MIN/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/24(-49=25) DIFF: HOU/IND, MIA/NE, NO/PHI, WAS/MIN, 16/24 Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 7-8) d by New Orleans (Cena's Writer 9-6) 9-10 PHI: PIT/DAL/CLE/CHI/IND/KC/MIA/BUF/OAK/PHI/MIN/ATL/SEA/NYJ/TB/SD/24 NO: PIT/DAL/CLE/CHI/IND/DET/NE/NYG/OAK/PHI/MIN/ATL/SEA/NYJ/TB/SD/26 DIFF: KC/DET, MIA/NE, BUF/NYG Washington (Human Fly 7-7-1) d by Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 4-11) 8-10 WAS: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/DET/NE/BUF/OAK/PHI/WAS/AZ/SEA/NYJ/TB/SD/23 MIN: PIT/DAL/CIN/CHI/IND/DET/MIA/BUF/OAK/NO/WAS/ATL/BAL/NYJ/TB/SD/20 DIFF: CLE/CIN, GB/CHI, NE/MIA, PHI/NO, AZ/ATL, SEA/BAL, 23/20 Atlanta (King 6-9) d by Arizona (Vern Gagne 5-10) 8-9 ATL: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/KC/NE/NYG/JAX/PHI/MIN/ATL/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/15 AZ: PIT/CAR/CLE/CHI/HOU/DET/NE/BUF/JAX/NO/WAS/AZ/SEA/TEN/SF/SD/26 DIFF: DAL/CAR, GB/CHI, IND/HOU, KC/DET, NYG/BUF, PHI/NO, MIN/WAS, ATL/AZ, TB/SF Baltimore (KingPK 7-8) d by Seattle (Steve Rogers 10-5) 6-9 BAL: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/HOU/DET/NE/BUF/JAX/NO/MIN/ATL/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/17 SEA: PIT/DAL/CIN/GB/IND/DET/MIA/NYG/JAX/NO/MIN/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/14 DIFF: CLE/CIN, HOU/IND, NE/MIA, BUF/NYG, ATL/AZ N.Y. Jets (Gert T 9-6) d Tennessee (Cuban Linx 8-7) 8-6 NYJ: PIT/DAL/CLE/CHI/IND/DET/NE/BUF/OAK/NO/WAS/AZ/SEA/NYJ/TB/SD/17 TEN: STL/DAL/CIN/CHI/IND/DET/NE/NYG/OAK/NO/WAS/AZ/BAL/TEN/TB/DEN/22 DIFF: PIT/STL, CLE/CIN, BUF/NYG, SEA/BAL, NYJ/TEN, SD/DEN, 17/22 Tampa Bay (Starvenger 8-7) d by San Francisco (Devo 11-4) 5-6 TB: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/KC/MIA/BUF/OAK/NO/MIN/AZ/BAL/NYJ/TB/SD/24 SF: PIT/DAL/CLE/GB/IND/KC/NE/BUF/JAX/PHI/MIN/AZ/BAL/NYJ/TB/SD/24 DIFF: MIA/NE, OAK/JAX, NO/PHI Denver (Canadian Chris 3-12) d by San Diego (Porter 8-7) 7-10 DEN: PIT/CAR/CLE/GB/HOU/DET/MIA/BUF/JAX/NO/MIN/AZ/SEA/TEN/TB/SD/16 SD: PIT/DAL/CLE/CHI/IND/DET/NE/NYG/JAX/PHI/MIN/AZ/SEA/NYJ/TB/SD/35 DIFF: CAR/DAL, GB/CHI, HOU/IND, MIA/NE, BUF/NYG, NO/PHI, TEN/NYJ

9 p.m. • Slept in a bit this morning. Got Season 10 of South Park and a wireless remote controller from the better half. Got money and gift cards from the in-laws. With the plethora of DVDs I purchased this holiday season for myself, and with the lack of appealing after-Christmas sales that the local circular had for tomorrow, I think I'm going to hold onto these cards until some better sales come my way (New Year's/MLK/Presidents/etc.) Exciting stuff, I know. After I post this entry, I'll be on the phone to mom to let her know that she will, barring a miscarriage, become a grandmother. Oh, and also that the 20+ containers of stuff she has stored in our house needs to go in the next six months. I just knew there were some plusses to getting the Mrs. kkk preggers.

1 p.m. • OK, I got one of these what-were-you-doing-during-the-1980s and decided to give it a go. These answers will be the first thing that comes to mind. I noticed while copying and pasting the questions that there are some “favorites” listed. My first thought will be my “favorite” during the time. So if I'm asked about my “favorite 1980s athlete,” it would be my thought during the 1980s, not my “current-day” favorite athlete from the 1980s. remember when..... 1.How old were you in 1980? 4-5 2. How old were you in 1989? 13-14 3. Were you a Toys R' Us kid? Not until the local Children's Palace went under 4. Did you watch Transformers? Not really 5. Did you see E.T. on the big screen? I think so 6. Did you own a Lite Bright? I think so 7. Who is your Favorite Golden Girl? Sofia 8. When someone says " Who you gonna call? " You think? Ghosbusters 9. What was your favorite toy? Star Wars action figures or dinosaur figures. I got a few miles out of my Bigwheel, too. That was all before video games, of course. 10. Did you have a Pogo Ball? No 11. Did you listen to New Kids on the Block? No 12. What New Kid did you have a crush on? None 13. Did you play M.A.S.H.? You could “play” it? 14. Did you watch The Care Bears? No 15. Did you have Jelly bracelets? The hell are these questions? 16. Did you have a charm necklace and/or bracelet? Fuck no 17. Did you own a glo-worm? No 18. Did you ever own a slap bracelet? No 19. The Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles? Neither -- if forced to choose, The Breakfast Club 20. Did you have a crazy hair style? No (only when I woke up in the morning before taking a shower) 21. What was your first bike? A shitty used bike with faggy handlebars I got for $20. Years later I got a Huffy BMX. 22. Name one thing you still own from your childhood? Oh Christ. My video games, sports cards, many of my action figures and cars. All are boxed up. I am meaning to one day re-organize my card collection, and I’m probably just going to have kkk Jr. play with my old stuff. 23. Did you have a Cabbage Patch Kid? No 24. Did you dress like Madonna? No 25. Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake? Strawberry shortcake, if only for the food factor 26. Did you watch Miami Vice? No, but I had the soundtrack 27. Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes? No 28. Did you own a Trapper Keeper? Yes 29. Atari or Nintendo? Atari, then Sega 30. Did you play Pac-Man? Hell yeah 31. Which was better: Jem and The Holograms or Barbie and The Rockers!? Jem. There was a kid in school named “James” and we goofed on him with the help of said cartoon. 32. He-Man or She-Ra? He-Man. 33. What movie scared you the most? Wow. I can’t think of one. I know I always used to watch this weekly “Saturday Nightmares” movie-of-the-week thing and just about every one of those freaked me out in some way. Can’t remember any of the names though. 34. Did you try to dance like Michael Jackson? (Sigh) Yes. 35. G.I. Joe cartoon or comics? Cartoon, although I was never a big G.I. Joe fan. 36. Favorite 80's movie? Ghostbusters, although Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade popped into my head later. 37. Most nostalgic 80's movie? Hmmm, I’d have to say “Ghostbusters” again. Just the memories of where I used to watch that film. Then again, I remember watching “Hunt for Red October” in the theater with people SMOKING around me. Oh, how could I have been so stupid? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Wait, were they in the 1980? Shit. Off by one year. 38. 3-2-1 Contact or Reading Rainbow? Huh? I remember Picture Pages -- does that count? 39. Muppet Movie of the 80's: Not a Muppets fan. 40. Favorite 80's sports dynasty? You probably can’t call the Pistons of the late 1980s-early 1990s a “dynasty,” so I’d have to go with the Boston Celtics (if you could call them such a thing, too). Didn’t like the 49ers because they were getting up there with the beloved “Stillers” of the 1970s in Super Bowl wins. Didn’t really follow basketball but I knew who Larry Bird was, so yay. 41. Best Sitcom? The Cosby show with the “new” Mamma’s Family a close second. 42. Favorite WWF Wrestler of the 80's? Sgt. Slaughter, with that KoKo B-Ware/Owen Hart tag team an afterthought. 12:15 p.m. • I need to check the last few weeks of my kkk Bowl matchups to see if I'm winning any of these contests. (3.5) Cleveland @ Cincinnati. Won't be as high-scoring as the last affair, but I'm hoping the Browns play like the playoffs are at stake. (9.5) Green Bay @ Chicago. I wasn't sure about this one. I'm hoping the Bears defense is so pissed off by the offensive unit that they mail this one in. Houston @ Indianapolis (7.5). Oakland lost by a touchdown last week. I'm hoping the Texans can do the same. Kansas City @ Detroit (4.5). Sure they are in a free-fall, but the Lions can win this one, can't they? Miami @ New England (100) (22.5). You're on a roll, Miami. Lose by just three touchdowns. (3.5) N.Y. Giants @ Buffalo. I don't think Buffalo will mail this one in, even though they are out of the playoff race. Oakland @ Jacksonville (13.5). Jacksonville will win by 13. I hope. Philadelphia @ New Orleans (3.5). I heard the Saints are sill in the wild-card hunt. No shit. Washington @ Minnesota (6.5). Here's hoping the Vikings win by 4. Also, I guess they are now the NFC team analysts are saying, "Boy I sure wouldn't want to meet them in the playoffs." Christ I hate that line. I feel the need to bitch about this cliche again, but maybe some other time. Atlanta @ Arizona (10.5). Hmm, I'm getting second thoughts about this one. No. Keep it as is. Baltimore @ Seattle (10.5). Seattle will win, but not in double digits. N.Y. Jets @ Tennessee (8.5). That spread seems too big for me. (6.5) Tampa Bay @ San Francisco. I'm gettng second thoughts about this one, too. Shit. Denver @ San Diego (8.5). I'm curious to see how the Chargers play in the postseason.

10 p.m. • So just whenever I fret about my child-rearing abilities, I come across an experience like I had yesterday. The better half and I went to her one friend’s house to deliver Christmas presents to her two kids. We got her five-year-old son an easel/art set and her two-year-old daughter a Cabbage Patch Kid. Well, when the kids opened their gifts, the daughter (Terri) went straight for her brother’s gift (I’ll call him Mike). No surprise. Who wants a doll when your sibling has this cool thing that you can scribble on? Well this of course brought a bit of the sibling rivalry, as Terri was badgering Mike by drawing on his canvass. Mike countered by yelling and the two were pushing each other around. Now Mrs. kkk’s friend’s boyfriend was getting annoyed by this. I make it a point not to criticize a person’s parenting style, but when Terri took one of Mike’s toy magnets that helped keep his coloring picture on the easel board and ran into the kitchen, which prompted Mike to give chase, the boyfriend got up from watching the televised NHL game, picked both kids up off the ground and nearly tossed both into the corner of the living room. Jesus Christ. Now I don’t live in this house, so I don’t know firsthand of the craziness that goes on 24/7, but this was harmless. Hell, Terri had a smile on her face and was giggling when running into the kitchen with Mike’s magnet. Anyway, this prompted both kids to start screaming and crying hysterically, and for what? For being kids. The boyfriend shouted out a number of obscenities, and I could tell if we weren’t there Mrs, kkk’s friend would have gotten into it with the boyfriend, who was also Terri’s father. I’ve said my fair share of negative things about kids, but I do know that kids will be kids. As long as they’re not monstrous trolls, then you should expect them to do what they do. But hey, they're not my kids. And they weren't getting beaten.

Because I'm a darn good psychic. Record is fixed. I'll be double-checking scores and records in the next day or so and then give playoff scenarios, etc.

AFC EAST Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 10-5 < PF: 112, PA: 104, AFC: 7-4, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 2-4 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-6 < PF: 109, PA: 112, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 4-2 > New York Jets (Gert T) 9-6 < PF: 109, PA: 105, AFC: 7-4, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 3-3 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 5-10 < PF: 110, PA: 108, AFC: 4-8, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 3-3 > AFC NORTH Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 9-6 < PF: 114, PA: 103, AFC: 7-4, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 3-2 > Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 8-7 < PF: 116, PA: 108, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 3-3 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 7-8 < PF: 107, PA: 118, AFC: 6-5, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 4-2 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 7-8 < PF: 106, PA: 119, AFC: 5-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-4 > AFC SOUTH Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 8-7 < PF: 114, PA: 102, AFC: 6-5, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 3-2 > Houston Texans (Bored) 6-9 < PF: 114, PA: 118, AFC: 4-7, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 3-2 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 6-9 < PF: 111, PA: 111, AFC: 5-6, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 2-3 > Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 6-9 < PF: 101, PA: 117, AFC: 5-6, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 2-3 > AFC WEST Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6 < PF: 117, PA: 108, AFC: 7-4, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 3-3 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 8-7 < PF: 114, PA: 108, AFC: 6-5, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 4-1 > San Diego Chargers (Porter) 8-7 < PF: 115, PA: 112, AFC: 6-5, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 3-2 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 3-12 < PF 110:, PA: 121, AFC: 2-10, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-5 > NFC EAST Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 9-5-1 < PF: 108, PA: 102, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 7-3-1, DIV: 2-2-1 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 7-7-1 < PF: 117, PA: 114, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 4-6-1, DIV: 2-2-1 > Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 7-8 < PF: 119, PA: 119, AFC: 0-3, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 4-2 > New York Giants (Cartman) 7-8 < PF: 103, PA: 106, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 2-4 > NFC NORTH Detroit Lions (Chazz 1998) 10-5 < PF: 119, PA: 115, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 7-4, DIV: 4-1 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 8-7 < PF: 104, PA: 106, AFC: 3-2, NFC: 5-5, DIV: 3-3 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 7-8 < PF: 106, PA: 109, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 5-6, DIV: 1-4 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 4-11 < PF: 111, PA: 123, AFC: 0-3, NFC: 4-8, DIV: 3-3 > NFC SOUTH New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 9-6 < PF: 114, PA: 104, AFC: 3-1 , NFC: 6-5, DIV: 2-4 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 8-7 < PF: 109, PA: 111, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 5-6, DIV: 3-2 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 8-7 < PF: 108, PA: 105, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 6-5, DIV: 3-2 > Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 6-9 < PF: 102, PA: 108, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 4-7, DIV: 3-3 > NFC WEST San Francisco 49ers (Devo) 11-4 < PF: 113, PA: 100, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 5-1 > Seattle Seahawks (Steve Rogers) 10-5 < PF: 121, PA: 106, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 8-3, DIV: 3-3 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 5-10 < PF: 107, PA: 114, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 5-6, DIV: 3-2 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 5-10 < PF: 98, PA: 120, AFC: 4-0, NFC: 1-10, DIV: 0-5 > PLAY AT HOME Pittsburgh Steelers (Me) 9-6 < PF: 112, PA: 103, AFC: 5-6, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 2-3 > AFC DIVISIONAL PICTURE: AFC EAST: If Spiff wins next week, he wins the division. If Spiff loses next week and Bob wins, he wins the division due to a season sweep. If Spiff and Bob both lose and Gert wins, he wins the division due to a better divisional record than Spiff. AFC NORTH: Kahran Ramsus has clinched the North due to tie-breaker. (Had to go down to TB #4: better conference record) AFC SOUTH: Cuban Linx has clinched the South. AFC WEST: If Alfdogg wins, he wins the division. If Alfdogg loses and Smues beats Porter, Smues wins the division based on a better divisional record. If Alfdogg loses and Porter beats Smues, Porter wins the division based on a season sweep. NFC DIVISIONAL PICTURE: NFC EAST: Hawk34 has clinched the East. NFC NORTH: Chazz has clinched the North. NFC SOUTH: If Cena wins, he clinches the South. If Cena loses, the winner of the Fazzle/Starvenger matchup will clinch the South based on a better divisional record. NFC WEST: Devo has clinched the West due to a season sweep of Seattle AFC PLAYOFF PICTURE: Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 9-6 ---> AFC NORTH CHAMP Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 8-7 ---> AFC SOUTH CHAMP Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 10-5 ---> Division Leader Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6 ---> Division Leader Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-6 New York Jets (Gert T) 9-6 Oakland Raiders (Smues) 8-7 San Diego Chargers (Porter) 8-7 Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 8-7 Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 7-8 Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 7-8 Houston Texans (Bored) 6-9 Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 6-9 Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 6-9 New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 5-10 Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 3-12 Matchups of note concerning the Wild Card picture: Alfdogg @ Gert T in Week 17 Porter @ Smues in Week 17 sfaJack defeated Bob Barron in Week 15 Gert T defeated sfaJack in Week 14 sfaJack defeated Smues in Week 3 NFC PLAYOFF PICTURE: San Francisco 49ers (Devo) 11-4 ---> NFC WEST CHAMP Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 9-5-1 ---> NFC EAST CHAMP Detroit Lions (Chazz 1998) 10-5 ---> NFC NORTH CHAMP Seattle Seahawks (Steve Rogers) 10-5 New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 9-6 ---> Division Leader Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 8-7 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 8-7 Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 8-7 Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 7-7-1 New York Giants (Cartman) 7-8 Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 7-8 Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 7-8 Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 6-9 St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 5-10 Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 5-10 Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 4-11 Matchups of note concerning the Wild Card picture: Fazzle @ Starvenger in Week 17 Cena's Writer @ Agent of Oblivion in Week 17

Deadline has come and gone. PT Andrew Doyle is using EPs.

Really? I could have sworn they were in the 80s, too. I guess I should feel better knowing I got that wrong.

Saturday's deadline has come and gone.

8 p.m. • I'll take the Cowboys to win by 10+ points. • Atari Porn. That's all I got to say. 10:15 a.m. • So the primary car needs its annual inspection along with some brake work. We turned it into the gas station/mechanic’s place yesterday, and I had to wait 10 minutes for the poor cashier to get done ringing up some guy with a shitload of instant lottery tickets. Ugh. I’ve stated several times before that I hate lottery people, especially at a Quickie Mart. The point of a convenience store is to get in and out fast, and wanting to cash in a dozen lottery tickets, along with buying a dozen more, defeats this purpose. It’s like paying for 13 grocery items in a 10-item express lane via check. Oh well. I really wasn’t annoyed by this, but it was sad to see the poor cashier with the deer-in-headlights look because her line was growing due to this douche in front of her hoping to hit it big with government-sanctioned gambling. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. So I got the call this morning from the mechanic about the brakes needing replaced, which I figured. It was sad to hear the bracing-for-the-total-cost tone in his voice because I just don’t get how people will flip out over the cost of auto repair. Don’t like the cost? Don’t get the work done at that place of business. The price given to me was fine – my only requirement is that I don’t want to come back for the same problem a week from now. Then I will turn into my asshole state. • I actually went into this article with a somewhat open mind because I was curious to see how much of a commie Barack Obama was a decade ago. Oddly enough, many times I don’t care about the “OMG he said this 10 years ago~!” gotcha game. Before he became House Minority Leader in the ‘90s Dick Gephart seemed like a decent enough person. Problem was he was now the representative for all the crackpot liberals so he had to turn up the wacko-notch a bit. Even Al Gore seemed to start off as a conservative Democrat while in Congress before becoming the enviro-weenie he is today. So let’s see what Obama said back in the day. Whatever. I know the guy’s full of shit, but at least he’s saying the right things to convince the stupid among us that he’d actually be a so-called moderate voice. Hello, what’s this? You’re blaming a STAFFER for not giving accurate beliefs you are supposed to hold? And you never bothered to correct the record when it went out? Hell, you didn’t even bother to LOOK OVER WHAT THE STAFFER WROTE? OK, I’m done.