kkktookmybabyaway

Cincinnati @ Kansas City (3.5) Houston @ Jacksonville (6.5) Miami @ Cleveland (4.5) Minnesota @ Chicago (5.5) (3.5) Philadelphia @ N.Y. Jets St. Louis @ Baltimore (9.5) Tennessee @ Tampa Bay (2.5) Washington @ Green Bay (3.5) Carolina @ Arizona (4.5) (6.5) New England @ Dallas Oakland @ San Diego (9.5) New Orleans @ Seattle (6.5) (3.5) N.Y. Giants @ Atlanta Open Dates: Buffalo, Denver, Detroit, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh, San Francisco Cincinnati (Teke 4-1) d Kansas City (Alfdogg 3-3) 7-6 CIN: CIN/HOU/CLE/MIN/NYJ/BAL/TB/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/21 KC: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TEN/GB/CAR/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/24 DIFF: MIN/CHI, NYJ/PHI, BAL/STL, TB/TEN, AZ/CAR Houston (Bored 3-3) d Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 1-4) 9-8 HOU: KC/JAX/CLE/CHI/PHI/BAL/TB/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/13 JAX: KC/JAX/CLE/CHI/PHI/BAL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/23 DIFF: TB/TEN Miami (Spaceman Spiff 5-1) d Cleveland (SFA Jack 3-3) 9-3 MIA: CIN/JAX/CLE/CHI/PHI/BAL/TB/WAS/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/24 CLE: KC/HOU/MIA/CHI/NYJ/STL/TB/GB/CAR/DAL/OAK/SEA/ATL/20 DIFF: CIN/KC, JAX/HOU, CLE/MIA, PHI/NYJ, BAL/STL, WAS/GB, AZ/CAR, NE/DAL, SD/OAK, NYG/ATL, 24/20 Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 2-3) d Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 2-4) 7-4 MIN: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TB/WAS/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/13 CHI: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/DAL/OAK/NO/NYG/24 DIFF: TB/TEN, WAS/GB, NE/DAL, SD/OAK, SEA/NO Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 4-1) d by N.Y. Jets (Gert T 1-5) 6-7 PHI: CIN/HOU/CLE/MIN/PHI/STL/TB/GB/AZ/NE/OAK/SEA/NYG/20 NYJ: CIN/JAX/MIA/CHI/PHI/BAL/TB/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/17 DIFF: HOU/JAX, CLE/MIA, MIN/CHI, STL/BAL, OAK/SD St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 3-3) d by Baltimore (KingPK 3-3) 6-7 STL: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/PHI/BAL/TB/GB/CAR/DAL/OAK/SEA/NYG/12 BAL: CIN/JAX/CLE/CHI/NYJ/BAL/TEN/WAS/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/28 DIFF: HOU/JAX, PHI/NYJ, TB/TEN, GB/WAS, CAR/AZ, DAL/NE, OAK/SD Tennessee (Cuban Linx 3-2) d Tampa Bay (Starvenger 3-3) 6-5 TEN: CIN/JAX/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/20 TB: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/20 DIFF: JAX/HOU Washington (Human Fly 2-3) d by Green Bay (Vitamin X 4-2) 6-9 WAS: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/PHI/BAL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/20 GB: KC/JAX/CLE/CHI/PHI/BAL/TB/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/EP DIFF: CIN/KC, HOU/JAX, TEN/TB Carolina (Fazzle 5-1) d Arizona (Vern Gagne 2-4) 6-4 CAR: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/NYJ/STL/TB/GB/CAR/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/20 AZ: CIN/HOU/CLE/MIN/NYJ/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/OAK/SEA/NYG/24 DIFF: CHI/MIN, TB/TEN, CAR/AZ, SD/OAK, 20/24 New England (nl-asshole 2-4) d by Dallas (Hawk34 3-3) 5-5+TB NE: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/34 DAL: CIN/JAX/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/OAK/SEA/NYG/21 DIFF: HOU/JAX, SD/OAK, 34/21 NE: 48, nl-asshole: 34 = 14 DAL: 27, Hawk34: 21 = 6 Oakland (Smues 2-3) d San Diego (Porter 3-3) 6-6+TB OAK: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/NYJ/BAL/TEN/WAS/AZ/NE/SD/SEA/NYG/16 SD: CIN/HOU/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/SD/NO/NYG/31 DIFF: NYJ/PHI, BAL/STL, WAS/GB, SEA/NO, 16/31 OAK: 14, Smues: 16 = 2 SD: 28, Porter: 31 = 3 New Orleans (Cena's Writer 2-3) d by Seattle (Red Baron51 4-2) 5-7 NO: CIN/HOU/CLE/MIN/NYJ/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/DAL/OAK/NO/NYG/24 SEA: KC/JAX/CLE/CHI/PHI/STL/TB/GB/AZ/NE/OAK/SEA/NYG/EP DIFF: CIN/KC, HOU/JAX, MIN/CHI, NYJ/PHI, TEN/TB, DAL/NE, NO/SEA N.Y. Giants (Cartman 3-3) d Atlanta (King 3-3) 6-6+TB NYG: CIN/JAX/CLE/CHI/NYJ/STL/TEN/GB/AZ/NE/SD/NO/NYG/24 ATL: CIN/JAX/MIA/CHI/PHI/STL/TB/GB/AZ/DAL/SD/NO/NYG/20 DIFF: CLE/MIA, NYJ/PHI, TEN/TB, NE/DAL, 24/20 NYG: 31, Cartman: 24 = 7 ATL: 10, King:20 = 10 Open Dates: Buffalo (Bob Barron 4-1), Denver (Canadian Chris 1-4), Detroit (Chazz1998 3-2), Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 1-4), Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 2-3), San Francisco (Bravesfan 3-2) PLAY AT HOME: Indianapolis (Steve Rogers 2-3) and Pittsburgh (Me 5-0) have byes.

11 p.m. • Let’s see: Get into work at 10:30 a.m., leave at 9:15 p.m. Why the hell do I do this? Oh, yeah. Because whenever I’m here on the weekends, I won’t be there sometime during the week. That’s why. Besides, the drive home was great. No traffic, clear night, had the NLCS on ESPN radio. Only regret was missing my football games today and I didn’t get to go through my Sunday papers/coupons/etc. Oh well, that’s what tomorrow is for. But the real fun began when I got home. No, Mrs. kkk wasn’t bitching at me for being at work all day – she was already asleep. The fun came about 30 minutes later when I realized my wedding ring wasn’t on my finger. The fuck? When did this happen? Good thing the better half is asleep. Time to backtrack. Did the ring fall in the sink’s drain when I washed my hands in the bathroom? I can’t remember if I still had it on at that time. I normally take it off and put it on the spice rack when doing the dishes. Problem was it wasn’t on the rack when I cleaned the dishes. Well the cats aren’t playing with anything shiny on the floor, so that’s a plus – but did the already bat it under a couch or major appliance? Yikes. Could it have fallen outside when I was on my way inside the house? No clue. Fuck. It’s been 30 minutes and I can’t find this goddamn thing. I’ve looked everywhere I’ve been so far tonight. The car, the walkway, the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, the dining room, the bedroom. I’ve sifted through the garbage can, looked in several cabinets, peered down into the bathroom sink’s drain, and peered into a bunch of crevices. No luck. Wait a minute. What about my drawer in which I keep a bunch of useless shit, including my cell phone’s AC adapter, which I took into work with me today. When I opened the drawer I heard a “clink.” Oh thank God. Now it’s time for bed.

Yet you're only one game out in the loss column. Something tells me Porter's loss this week by one TB point is going to come back to haunt him. Also, Spiff, I forgot to put up the Atlanta/NY matchup you had with Jack, so your differing picks were actually 10 instead of 9.

AFC EAST Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 5-1 < PF: 44, PA: 37, AFC: 4-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 4-1 < PF: 35, PA: 32, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 2-0 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 2-4 < PF: 36, PA: 39, AFC: 2-3, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 1-1 > New York Jets (Gert T) 1-5 < PF: 36, PA: 39, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-3 > AFC NORTH Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 4-1 < PF: 37, PA: 35, AFC: 4-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 2-0 > Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 3-3 < PF: 43, PA: 43, AFC: 3-3, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 2-1 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 3-3 < PF: 40, PA: 45, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 0-2 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 2-3 < PF: 32, PA: 30, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 0-1 > AFC SOUTH Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 3-2 < PF: 35, PA: 31, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 2-0 > Houston Texans (Bored) 3-3 < PF: 43, PA: 42, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 2-0 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 1-4 < PF: 33, PA: 39, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-2 > Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 1-4 < PF: 30, PA: 37, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-2 > AFC WEST San Diego Chargers (Porter) 3-3 < PF: 39, PA: 40, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-2 > Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 3-3 < PF: 43, PA: 43, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-1 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 2-3 < PF: 34, PA: 37, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 2-0 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 1-4 < PF 36:, PA: 42, AFC: 1-4, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-1 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 4-1 < PF: 41, PA: 37, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 2-0 > New York Giants (Cartman) 3-3 < PF: 37, PA: 38, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-3, DIV: 1-2 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 3-3 < PF: 36, PA: 37, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 0-1 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 2-3 < PF: 39, PA: 39, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 1-1 > NFC NORTH Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 4-2 < PF: 46, PA: 40, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 3-2, DIV: 1-1 > Detroit Lions (Chazz 1998) 3-2 < PF: 44, PA: 39, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-1 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 2-3 < PF: 38, PA: 40, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-1 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 2-4 < PF: 35, PA: 46, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 1-2 > NFC SOUTH Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 5-1 < PF: 46, PA: 36, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 4-1, DIV: 2-1 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 3-3 < PF: 39, PA: 43, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-0 > Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 3-3 < PF: 35, PA: 36, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 0-1 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 2-3 < PF: 34, PA: 33, AFC: 2-0 , NFC: 0-3, DIV: 0-2 > NFC WEST Seattle Seahawks (Red Baron51) 4-2 < PF: 50, PA: 43, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 1-1 > San Francisco 49ers (Bravesfan) 3-2 < PF: 34, PA: 35, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 2-1 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 3-3 < PF: 44, PA: 37, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 3-2, DIV: 2-0 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 2-4 < PF: 38, PA: 45, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-4, DIV: 0-3 > PLAY AT HOME Pittsburgh Steelers (Me) 5-0 < PF: 40, PA: 30, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 3-0, DIV: 1-0 > Indianapolis Colts (Steve Rogers) 2-3 < PF: 31, PA: 32, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 >

Did you re-up your place on the list?

Oh she always bitches at me when I take it off. I play around with it so much I'm surprised it hasn't gone down a drain or something already. Please note I'm talking about my ring and not an appendage.

I thought you had one of those funky central-house things that you just have to attack a hose to, or couldn't it reach that far?

It was on sale if that helps.

When did the ghetto trash take over the Rhine part of town? First thing on Racist Dusty's agenda: Bench Griffey when the temperature is below 60 degrees.

Deadline has come and gone: Green Bay and Seattle will be using EPs.

7 p.m. • So I'm roaming the wires, and this got a chuckle out of me. Two articles are next to each other, each with the same lead. The first headline reads: and the second reads: That's all I got. • I just heard on the television that not only is the "Caveman" show still on, but now the next show will introduce the first CaveWOMAN~! Find the people watching this shit and sterilize them. NOW. 7 p.m. • Oh boy, western Pennsylvania. The long-standing rivalry between Coke and Pepsi took a physical turn Friday when a Pepsi deliveryman allegedly punched his Coke counterpart in the face at a western Pennsylvania Wal-Mart, state police said. Could this be in my neck of the woods? Nuts. Indiana is to the east of me. Oh well, maybe next time. 10:15 a.m. • I just got done watching part of the “Fast Food Nation” and boy was I not disappointed (when I feel motivated, I'm going to have to check out IMDB's message board section about this masterpiece). I read bits of the hippie book, and while thumbing through its pages I thought “Boy I sure wish they would make a movie out of this.” If you want a laugh, check it out. My only regret was that Esai Morales and Bruce Willis were in it. Esai I understand because I’m under no pretenses that the guy’s a commie. However, I like him anyway. I didn’t see Bruce’s character, so I at least hope he played some evil greedy right-wing corporate exec. Otherwise, when I saw his name in the credits I went, “Why Bruce why?” Like I said before, I didn’t see this genius in its entirety, but I saw enough. Slaughterhouses, corporate greed, oppressing the underclass and invaders undocumented American citizens, pseudo-hippies. “Well I can't think of anything right now more patriotic than violating the Patriot Act!” Fuck you Paco. My name translates into Paco in Spanish, too, and you’re no Paco. Well, actually Paco is a “nickname” of my formal wetback name, but whatever. I remember back in middle school there was some “rhyme” in Spanish that involved the word Paco, and I was the only one in my grade who could say the entire verse in less than 3.5 seconds. This of course didn’t take away from the fact I HATED that class and failed. Then again, I failed a bunch of classes back in my middle school days. I had the same teacher for my Francais class the year after, and I flunked that, too. Christ, was I a miserable little shit back then. Two years later when I was in high school I was studying Francais yet again just before a girl’s volleyball contest when my former aforementioned teacher, who was sitting in front of me, made some remark about my studying, and at that moment I just smiled and thought, “How the hell did she put up with me back then?” Where was I going with this? Ohhhh, shiny object.

Holy crap, 9 differing picks. Is that some kind of kkk Bowl record? If not, what is? Or do you not have that info available? I don't keep track of what contest had the most differing picks, although that might be something to do for the end-of-season crap I produce every year. I looked through the last few weeks, and here's what I found. Last week the Indy/Tampa matchup had nine, if you count the two picks Doyle forgot to include. Chicago/Detroit also had nine differing picks in Week 4. That same week Seattle/San Fran had 11. Indy/Houston and Cincy/Seattle had 9 in Week 3, while Cleveland/Oakland had 11. Just a note: I'm headed to the office, so any picks submitted from here on out may not get posted until after kick-off. I'll try to remember to check back before kick-off.

10:15 p.m. • Yeah, I know there's more to this story, but the lead paragraph just sounds funny to me. 9:15 p.m. • So on the way home from work today we were driving through the black people part of the trip and went past some guy with a colorful jacket that featured patches of each NBA team sewed on. I didn’t notice it because I was too busy looking at traffic and shit, but Mrs. kkk did. The following conversation ensued. You can figure out who is who. Hey look, it’s Jamal and the multi-colored robe. Huh? You know, Joseph and the multi-colored robe? From the Bible? What? You don’t know the story of Joseph and the multi-colored robe? The one where he gets sold into slavery by his brothers and they tear up his robe to show to their father? The fuck? *Goes on to tell the story up to the point where the robe is returned to dad* Jesus Christ that’s depressing. Did Joseph at least get his revenge? I don’t remember, but I think the story is about forgiveness. Fuck that shit. I’d be pissed. Well, his bones got returned back home with Moses. I thought Moses didn’t make it back because God fucked him over about something. That’s correct … sort of. What exactly did Moses do? He was trying to get water from hitting a rock. God said to do it one time and he did it twice. That’s it?! Yes. God said that showed a lack of faith on Moses’ behalf. So he roams around in the desert for 40 fucking years, and God doesn’t believe he’s of faith? No wonder God’s a Jew. What? When it came time to pay the bill for Moses, God Jewed him, "Thanks for all your years of service, Moses, but you violated Page 490, Section XL, Article 4a, line 20 of our agreement. No promised land for you." If God tried to Jew me like that, I’d send all his people away to Detroit. Why am I talking about the Bible with you? Because you commented on Jamal’s mulit-colored coat. THE END That coat was pimp, too, what with the old Hawks logo. Jamal's, not Joseph's. 8:30 p.m. • So earlier today I became one of “those customers.” I was going out for a few things, and I decided to get one of these new burrito things that Taco Bells was pimping. You know, the one with the “I’ll stop the world and melt with you” ads. Hey, it’s got meat, cheese and sour cream – can’t be all that bad. Problem is, when I approached the drive-thru I couldn’t remember what this product was called. No problem. There will probably be a sign or ad pimping this new item. No such luck – some hippie crap about putting chili on nachos. Now the drive-thru speaker lady is talking. Fuck. Scan that menu. It has to be on there. Nothing. Oh Christ, I have to say it. “Can I get that burrito that’s been advertised a lot lately?” “You mean the Cheesy Beefy Melt? Do you want that in a combo?” Grilled stuffed burrito. Sonofabitch. Oh well, it was worth the humiliation. Well, I wasn't as bad as the old lady at the Burger King drive-thru years ago asking my co-worker if we had fish sticks or macaroni, among the dozen-plus other items we didn't have because she hadn't left her house since the Truman administration (it was a Lenten Friday -- God did those shifts suck). • Swift Terror brought up Land of the Dead, and it finally forced me to think back to when I saw it a few months back. I liked it. I’m not what you consider a zombie movie fan. I have nothing against them, but I’m nowhere near a fanatic like some others are with this genre. Then again, if that’s what they like to see, then more power to them. Anyway, the whole “Dead” film series is mostly “eh” to me. “Night” was there, and it’s probably my favorite of the three. I never really cared for “Dawn,” and “Day” was OK. I remember as a kid a classmate always saying, “Fucking ‘a, biggest piece of meat in the cave,” and never knew where he got it from. So with this in mind, I always had “Land” pegged as one of those movies that I was in no hurry to see but wanted to get around to doing so before dying. Well now I can rest in peace, I guess. Wasn’t too bad. Yeah, it was a bit cheesy with the whole zombies-of-the-world-unite thing going, and I’m sure there’s some social commentary with the whole “Uniontown” thing that I missed because I’m an evil right-winger. However, there is an actual Uniontown about an hour or so from Shittsburgh, or whatever the city was called in the movie, so I’ll give this a pass. • So the better half has been sporadically watching that Bret Michaels Flavor-of-Love rip-off every now and then, and this evening she had the FINAL DECISION EPISODE on. Long story short: this guy had to choose from the stripper and the psycho. Longer story shorter: Bret couldn’t decide between these two up until the very end, so he asked each if they wouldn’t mind sharing him with the other. The stripper said sure, the psycho said no. The psycho won. Jesus Christ how stupid can some people be? And if you’re looking for “true love,” wouldn’t you know before asking two chicks if they wouldn’t mind being part of a threesome? I just pray everyone on that show doesn’t vote. • Al Gore got a Nobel Prize. Yay, and stuff. What a prestigious award. Too bad Arafat’s dead – they could have been BFF. • Uh oh, don’t you know that …well, whatever the hell is going on here… …is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?

I'll tell you what, that black chick scored higher on my list than I thought, especially when she said she doesn't do/date black men. If I ever got in the sack with her I figure I've got a puncher's chance at somewhat satisifying her. Oh, and I can imagine how insane those women would be in real life. I'm sure that runner-up stripper has never let her guard down to another male before.

It's one of the oldest media tricks -- take a nonexistent problem and make a big deal out of it. Or, have one/two people disagree on something and turn it into some heavy DRAMA~! I don't belong to a home-owner's association, so if I want to queer up my place I'll happily do so. Then again, I'd be too lazy to bother.

8:45 p.m. • For as much as I want to goof on Joe Pa and Sappy Valley, I must say I’m impressed. At least he didn’t blame the brake pedal for making his vehicle go twice as fast as it plowed into a car/pole/building. I saw him once while living in this shit hole. I was at an ATM machine and he was walking buy. Some guy said something to him and when he replied I turned and saw him. Uh, yay and stuff. • So I finally got around to seeing “Wishmaster 2.” I liked it, especially with that goofy white guy being the “costume” for the bad guy. Please note I liked it due to the sheer awfulness of the whole thing. God, I have so many bad horror movies saved up on my DVR it’s not even funny. But do know what was funny? This. “The South Will Rise Again.” And sometimes, the IMDB reviews are funnier than any script out there.

Land of the Dead -- I've been meaning to comment on that one for some time. Halloween 6 -- is that the last one before H2O?

10:15 p.m. • So I had the Pitt/Navy game on for a bit tonight. My God how does Lou Holtz have a broadcasting job? And how can executives listen to him and think, "yeah, people would want to hear this"? He could get shit-faced before going on-air and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. How could his players take anything he said seriously? 7 p.m. • You know what got me irked about Matt Leinart? His whining about not playing quarterback full-time. I’m sure it’s an ego thing and shit, but Kurt Warner was playing better than you; be thankful you were in a situation where you had a teammate that didn’t mind splitting time with his inferior (at least this is how it seemed outside of the locker room). Aw, too bad. • I’m not a Yankee hater, but can we focus on the teams still in contention for a World Series championship? • See, who cares about all this SCHIP contraversery? It’s not like the little bastards are getting decent care anyway. You know what this means ... FREEGOVERNMENTHEALTHCARE. Wait a second, what's this in the next paragraph? • Speaking of losers, my crack-whore niece-in-law tried offing herself again this past weekend. Then again, telling her boyfriend-of-the-month via text that she took a bunch of sleeping pills probably isn’t the best way to fade out into a permanent slumber. God, just die already.

7:30 p.m. • So sfaJack is having to do some painting or whatever because the Cubs lost. It's amazing what our better halves want to do with the places they live at. Like I said the other day in my entry about those people buying houses just to tear half of it down, why bother? I remember when house-shopping with Mrs. kkk I wanted to do the least amount of renovating possible due to being a lazy bastard. Well, when we settled on our house I was quite glad the amount of refurbishing was minimal. We got new carpeting for the upstairs, but that shit needed a face-lift. Otherwise, I've done jack shit. Mrs. kkk on the other hand... The highlight of her meddling came regarding our first-floor bathroom. I've mentioned before that she repainted this room from a pleasing brisk blue to a shit brown, and she did this when I was out of state for a few days on business. Of course she didn't get the project complete, so imagine my pleasant surprise when, after driving 5+ hours and having to take a monster poop, I ventured in the house and saw plastic all over the place and a ladder in the middle of the bathroom's walkway. Thank God for upstairs toilets. Oh, and here's said bathroom. Now why would some do such a thing? One reason was so it would match our towels~! The second was so she could stencil this shit on the wall. I may have talked about this before, but the search function is busted. If you heard this story already, blame Mole. Why do I have no desire to make home improvements? I said above that I’m lazy, but there’s some probably some childhood trauma I have to consider, too. When I was a kid, my parents bought some big-ass three story house that my dad said they couldn’t afford. My mom busted out the tears and they got the house. I was a kid at the time, but this house needed a shitload of work, and boy did my old man work on this residence. I remember him remodeling the third floor and doing a bunch of stuff with paint, wires and other stuff that’s found inside of walls. What was his reward for all this? A divorce that saw my mom sell the house. Ouch. 11:45 p.m. • Some of this stuff made me chuckle. That's all I got. Just Google the headline if you want a source.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Actually, here they are in no particular order. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Drudge.

9:30 p.m. • So we went grocery shopping tonight, and we were by the meat section. I was eyeing up some 92 percent lean ground beef on sale when some old broad starting bitching about the price of pig's bone, or whatever the hell that shit was. She then started bitching to me and the better half about how you have to be a "millionaire" in order to feed your family. It took every fiber of my being to hold back, and Mrs. kkk took the brunt of this "back in my day" shit because she knew I was about to piss someone off big time. You know, if you're trying to feed your family, I don't think you'd be buying a BONE. 2:15 p.m. • Call me John Kerry on this issue, but I really don’t fault either Trent Green or Travis Johnson for their actions in Sunday’s game. Here’s the story. From what I have heard, and according to the article above, Green threw a legal block, but a player getting cut like that could suffer a season-ending injury. So when the defensive player starts yelling at the downed quarterback right after the play, I don’t blame him one bit for doing so. And that “scarecrow” quote is my line of the week. If the NFL really wants to do something to better the league, then they should do something about cut-blocking, or whatever it’s called, instead of teams calling “time out” right before the other team’s kicker boots a pigskin through the uprights. On and regarding Keith Olberman, would he have called Green THE WORST PERSON IN THE NFL if Johnson would have been carted off and the Dolphins quarterback got up without a scratch? 11:45 a.m. • Long story short: So the idiot boss is the head of some publicity/marketing committee that is putting some event together outside of work. Now my co-worker and I know this guy who is part of planning for this event (which is doomed for failure), and our “deep throat” told us that our boss volunteered to head up this committee because he “has connections” within the media. Guess what I got 20 minutes ago? An e-mail from said idiot. What was the e-mail about? Him asking for my list of local media contacts. Yeah, he’s got connections alright. Oh, and speaking of publicity, he hasn’t given me any information about this event for publication in our mailing material, and the next mailing will be going out after this event’s RSVP deadline. God I love this place.

(3.5) Arizona @ St. Louis Atlanta @ Tennessee (8.5) Carolina @ New Orleans (3.5) Cleveland @ New England (16.5) Detroit @ Washington (3.5) (2.5) Jacksonville @ Kansas City Miami @ Houston (5.5) N.Y. Jets @ N.Y. Giants (3.5) Seattle @ Pittsburgh (5.5) Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis (10.5) (3.5) Baltimore @ San Francisco San Diego @ Denver (1.5) Chicago @ Green Bay (3.5) (10.5) Dallas @ Buffalo Open Dates: Cincinnati, Oakland, Philadelphia, Minnesota Arizona (Vern Gagne 2-3) d by St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 3-2) 7-8 AZ: STL/ATL/NO/CLE/DET/KC/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/SF/DEN/CHI/DAL/24 STL: STL/ATL/CAR/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/24 DIFF: NO/CAR, CLE/NE, DET/WAS, KC/JAX, PIT/SEA, SF/BAL, CHI/GB Atlanta (King 3-2) d Tennessee (Cuban Linx 2-2) 6-4 ATL: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/KC/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/10 TENN: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/KC/MIA/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/21 DIFF: WAS/DET, HOU/MIA, PIT/SEA, SD/DEN, 10/21 Carolina (Fazzle 4-1) d New Orleans (Cena's Writer 2-2) 7-7+TB CAR: STL/ATL/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/13 NO: STL/ATL/NO/CLE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYJ/SEA/IND/SF/SD/GB/DAL/27 DIFF: NE/CLE, DET/WAS, NYG/NYJ, PIT/SEA, BAL/SF, DEN/SD, 13/27 Cleveland (SFA Jack 3-2) d by New England (nl-asshole 2-3) 6-8 CLE: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/21 NE: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/BUF/38 DIFF: TB/IND, DAL/BUF, 21/38 Detroit (Chazz1998 3-2) d Washington (Human Fly 2-2) 8-7 DET: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/BAL/SD/CHI/BUF/24 WAS: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/22 DIFF: ATL/TEN, DET/WAS, TB/IND, CHI/GB, BUF/DAL Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 1-3) d by Kansas City (Alfdogg 3-2) 5-6 JAX: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/24 KC: STL/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/KC/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/21 DIFF: AZ/STL, DET/WAS, JAX/KC Miami (Spaceman Spiff 4-1) d Houston (Bored 2-3) 6-4 MIA: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/20 HOU: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYJ/SEA/TB/SF/SD/GB/DAL/23 DIFF: NYG/NYJ, PIT/SEA, IND/TB, BAL/SF, 20/23 N.Y. Jets (Gert T 0-5) d by N.Y. Giants (Cartman 2-3) 4-5 NYJ: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/DET/KC/HOU/NYG/SEA/TB/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/14 NYG: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/30 DIFF: ATL/TEN, KC/JAX, SEA/PIT Seattle (Redbaron51 3-2) d by Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 2-3) 5-8 SEA: AZ/TEN/CAR/NE/DET/KC/HOU/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/24 PIT: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/SF/DEN/GB/DAL/22 DIFF: TEN/ATL, CAR/NO, DET/WAS, KC/JAX, SEA/PIT, BAL/SF, SD/DEN Tampa Bay (Starvenger 3-2) d Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 1-4) 5-4 TB: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYJ/PIT/TB/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/17 IND: XX/XX/CAR/CLE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/SEA/TB/BAL/DEN/CHI/DAL/28 DIFF: NO/CAR, NE/CLE, WAS/DET, NYJ/NYG, PIT/SEA, SD/DEN, GB/CHI, 17/28 Baltimore (KingPK 2-3) d San Francisco (Bravesfan 3-2) 7-5 BAL: AZ/TEN/CAR/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/SF/SD/GB/DAL/24 SF: AZ/TEN/CAR/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYJ/SEA/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/14 DIFF: NYG/NYJ, PIT/SEA, TB/IND, SF/BAL, 24/14 San Diego (Porter 3-2) d by Denver (Canadian Chris 1-4) 3-7 SD: AZ/TEN/NO/CLE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/24 DEN: AZ/ATL/CAR/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/24 DIFF: TEN/ATL, NO/CAR, CLE/NE, TB/IND, 24/24 Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 2-3) d Green Bay (Vitamin X 3-2) 6-6+TB CHI: AZ/TEN/NO/CLE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/CHI/DAL/19 GB: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/EP DIFF: CLE/NE, CHI/GB, 19/EP Dallas (Hawk34 2-3) d by Buffalo (Bob Barron 4-1) 5-7 DAL: AZ/TEN/NO/CLE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/29 BUF: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/SD/CHI/DAL/14 DIFF: CLE/NE, WAS/DET, DEN/SD, GB/CHI, 29/14 Open Dates: Cincinnati (Teke 3-1), Oakland (Smues 1-3), Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 4-0), Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 1-3) PLAY AT HOME Tampa Bay (Starvenger) d by Indianapolis (Steve Rogers 2-3) 5-6 TB: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYJ/PIT/TB/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/17 IND: AZ/TEN/NO/CLE/WAS/KC/MIA/NYG/PIT/TB/SF/SD/CHI/DAL/27 DIFF: NE/CLE, JAX/KC, HOU/MIA, NYJ/NYG, BAL/SF, GB/CHI, 17/27 Seattle (Redbaron51) d by Pittsburgh (Me 5-0) 5-7 SEA: AZ/TEN/CAR/NE/DET/KC/HOU/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/24 PIT: STL/ATL/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/21 DIFF: AZ/STL, TEN/ATL, CAR/NO, DET/WAS, KC/JAX, SD/DEN, 24/21

AFC EAST Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 4-1 < PF: 35, PA: 34, AFC: 3-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 4-1 < PF: 35, PA: 32, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 2-0 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 2-3 < PF: 31, PA: 34, AFC: 2-3, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-1 > New York Jets (Gert T) 0-5 < PF: 29, PA: 33, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-3 > AFC NORTH Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 3-1 < PF: 30, PA: 29, AFC: 3-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 2-0 > Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 3-2 < PF: 40, PA: 34, AFC: 3-2, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 2-1 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 2-3 < PF: 33, PA: 39, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-2 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 2-3 < PF: 32, PA: 30, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 0-1 > AFC SOUTH Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 2-2 < PF: 29, PA: 26, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 2-0 > Houston Texans (Bored) 2-3 < PF: 35, PA: 34, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 1-3 < PF: 25, PA: 30, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 1-4 < PF: 30, PA: 37, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-2 > AFC WEST San Diego Chargers (Porter) 3-2 < PF: 33, PA: 34, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-1 > Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 3-2 < PF: 37, PA: 36, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-1 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 1-3 < PF: 28, PA: 31, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 1-0 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 1-4 < PF 36:, PA: 42, AFC: 1-4, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-1 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 4-0 < PF: 35, PA: 30, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 2-0 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 2-2 < PF: 33, PA: 30, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 > New York Giants (Cartman) 2-3 < PF: 31, PA: 32, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 1-2 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 2-3 < PF: 31, PA: 32, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC NORTH Detroit Lions (Chazz 1998) 3-2 < PF: 44, PA: 39, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-1 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 3-2 < PF: 37, PA: 34, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-1 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 2-3 < PF: 31, PA: 39, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 1-3 < PF: 31, PA: 36, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 > NFC SOUTH Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 4-1 < PF: 40, PA: 32, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 2-1 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 3-2 < PF: 34, PA: 37, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-0 > Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 3-2 < PF: 29, PA: 30, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-1 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 2-2 < PF: 29, PA: 26, AFC: 2-0 , NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-2 > NFC WEST St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 3-2 < PF: 38, PA: 30, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 3-2, DIV: 2-0 > San Francisco 49ers (Bravesfan) 3-2 < PF: 34, PA: 35, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 2-1 > Seattle Seahawks (Red Baron51) 3-2 < PF: 43, PA: 38, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 1-1 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 2-3 < PF: 34, PA: 39, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-3, DIV: 0-3 > PLAY AT HOME Pittsburgh Steelers (Me) 5-0 < PF: 40, PA: 30, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 3-0, DIV: 1-0 > Indianapolis Colts (Steve Rogers) 2-3 < PF: 31, PA: 32, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 >