kkktookmybabyaway

3:30 p.m. • Time for Week 3's pickkks. Arizona @ Baltimore (7.5) The only reason I’m going with this is because the Cards coach is the former Steelers offensive coordinator and I’m hoping that he’s able to keep it somewhat close. Then again, I remember what happened last year when the Steelers played the Ravens. Oh, shit. Buffalo @ New England (15.5) Here’s hoping the Pats have a “fall-off” game to a divisional rival after clearing away the Chargers. Detroit @ Philadelphia (6.5) I just don’t see the Eagles going 0-3. (6.5) Indianapolis @ Houston I heard that one receiver for Houston is out. Miami @ N.Y. Jets (3.5) I’ll go with the Dolphins defense in this one. Does Miami even have a good defense. I have no clue. Then why did I just say that? Minnesota @ Kansas City (2.5) Young QB. At Kansas City. There’s going to be lots of runs. (4.5) San Diego @ Green Bay This should be interesting. I’m not convinced Green Bay is a playoff-caliber team … yet. San Francisco @ Pittsburgh (9.5) That spread just seems too big. I think the Steelers will win, but by single digits. St. Louis @ Tampa Bay (3.5) I’m not sure about this one, but I want to see St. Louis crash and burn because too many people were picking them to be a playoff team in the preseason. Cincinnati @ Seattle (3.5) The Bungles’ defense can’t get much worse than it was last week’s effort – could it? Cleveland @ Oakland (3.5) I’m hoping for the Browns to experience a “fallout” effect from last week’s win. That’s the only reason I’m picking Oakland with the points. Jacksonville @ Denver (3.5) Here’s hoping the Jacksonville running game has a good day. (4.5) Carolina @ Atlanta I’ve been burned on the Panthers a few times this year already. Perhaps this is their year to win the South, again. N.Y. Giants @ Washington (4.5) I’ll tell you what. I have no idea who that Redskins QB is, but I was impressed by him Monday night. Dallas @ Chicago (3.5) Both defenses are good, so I’m going with the better offense. Tennessee @ New Orleans (4.5) The Saints have stunk it up the first two games, but what about the home opener? Well, they could always win by 3.

My nuts are itchy.

Oh Jesus Chirst -- I think you're talking about Peter. Don't forget the bare toilet paper roll he used as a banana holder. That may be before your time, though. And these people decided the fate of students of entire states. Funny thing is he called me "aloof" in the end-of-project survey he filled out when on my team. It's called avoiding you at all costs. There's a big difference.

I don't know what's worse: The fact I have to do 10 more of these or the fact I've already done 92 of them. Who's left? Who's gong to be placed where? Oh the drama... kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 10: Jobber of the Week What I like about Jobber is that even though he’s for oodles of commie shit, he tends to be more sensible when the socialist utopias (or Michael Savage fans) creep up in his neighborhood. I wouldn’t consider Jobber a limousine liberal because a limo lib would want everyone to drive on solar-powered cars with lawn-mower engines while they fly around on private jets to and from trans-Atlantic weekend getaways. Jobber just doesn’t want the invaders to get driver’s licenses. And if he would be as fiscally responsible in Congress as he says he is at TSM, then I wouldn’t mind if some of his treasonous ideas got through the cracks. Besides, he has posted many a picture that was worth 1,000 posts. This would be the point where I bust out the “Tecmo Bowl’d” graphic, but sadly it’s no more. 6:15 p.m. • Uh-oh. Didn't we learn anything from the Mohammad cartoons from a while back? Translation. * Boy, what is your name? - My name is Babu. * It is customary to mention Muhammed before the name. * What is your father’s name? - Muhammed Abu * What’s this in your lap? - Muhammed cat You know who really gets pissed when stuff like this happens? Yep. Jihads for everybody. 6 p.m. • Oh boy. Time for another crack-whore sister-in-law story. For those not keeping score at home, thanks to a lifetime of doing drugs and abusing alcohol, the crack-whore is now collecting disability and getting free health care, courtesy of our tax dollars. A few nights ago, the crack-whore visits my mother-in-law’s workplace begging for $50 so she can get a sling for her arm, which supposedly had something wrong with it. The mother-in-law kicks her out. The next day, the crack-whore comes in, her arm in a sling, and begs for $50 because her and her boyfriend need gas for the car. When the question of “I thought you needed $50 yesterday for a sling,” came up, the crack-whore’s one remaining brain cell went into overload. And the best thing about all this – she’s in her 40s~! So the next time some left-wing faggot in Congress starts whining about DRACONIAN cuts against the POOR, just remember: If we don’t keep pouring more money into this Great Society of our, my crack-whore sister-in-law will be sling-less. 7:30 a.m. • So I get lots of spam at work, and if I'm not being given sales pitches to claim millions in Nigeria then I am being told how I can enlarge my penis. I've shown some of these ads in the past, but once in a while you get a headline/message that's just as funny. Here's one from this morning:

Oh Michael. I remember a year or so ago when some crazy guy off his meds yelled "I got a bomb" on a plane and got shot there was a local RIGHT-WING RADIO promo around here featuring Savage bitching about the guy having to get shot. That's all I got.

8:30 p.m. • So I had the interview today. Eh. The odd thing about this one is that when I was left I thought to myself, “You know, maybe I don’t hate my job all that much after all.” Then again, I don’t hate my job – I hate my dumb-ass management. Wasn’t my best performance, but wasn’t terrible either. One red flag that went up for me was when they said, “You’d be in charge of some hippie computer program and the consultant we’ve had for over a year is leaving in a few weeks.” Translation: We’re going to expect you to know just as much as a professional in the IT field and we’re going to pay you much less. But here’s the best part: When I got home, I waited for Mrs. kkk to call me and let me know when I can pick her up from interviewing some crazy person at her job. She called. I drove. On the way home, she was making some smart-ass remark about how she has a “surprise” for me and I’ll never get it. Then the DJ on the rock radio station says the following: “Don’t forget that comedian Ron White will be appearing at the Benedum Center October 6.” Wow was she pissed. • Here’s the difference between men and women: A few days ago the better half threw a shitfit because some pen exploded and she got ink on her ratty gray sweatshirt/jacket thing. You can even see the shit and she’s bitching. Today, I realized after my interview that my one pen blew up and got shit all over my hands and blue Wal-Mart t-shirt. My reaction? “Oh, so I didn’t need to try lick that stain because I thought it was my blue raspberry-flavored Go-gurt.” Yes, I eat yogurt. I remember years ago my old man was bitching about my choice of snack, saying that this stuff isn’t healthy and contains all these chemicals and shit. My response: “I don’t care. I eat it because I like the taste.” My old man’s response: Nothing. Of course this is the same guy who freaks out over anything that isn’t wheat-grass juice. When I was a kid I remember he showed me this article about how something-or-other was bad for you and we were all going to die and the only thing you can eat nowadays is dirt. It was around the time of hazardous movie theater popcorn butter. Anyway, I grabbed a spoon and was ready to go outside when he asked, “Where are you going?” My response: “Out back in the yard for dinner.” Families.

I don't know who you're talking about. What was his name?

The funny thing about my place's health care costs is that I'm probably the only healthy one here. And when I leave, the median age of our staff will shoot up. I think the next youngest person here is at least a dozen years older than me.

Perhaps there are other costs such as insurance and stuff. Not siding with evil management -- just showing off my open mind. And you guys have perks? Real employees get BUTT-fucked with no K-Y.

No AC in Texas? Man, that fucking sucks. And after buying new brakes and shocks, too. I feel for you. What's this about your mom? Too soon?

9 p.m. • So sad. I was putting a portfolio together when I decided to fuck around instead. Damn you Internet. Oh, for as much bitching about stupid commericals, I have to admit I like this one. And it deals with This one's good, too, but I like the first better. 6 p.m. • What punitive damages? You were a shitbag before this story which did you in. • My vote would be to asterisk the ball. Blasting it off into space just seems too… eh. I wouldn’t be convinced that it actually happened. The ball would probably just be hidden in some backlot, only to appear when I’m in a nursing home and making me even more skeptical of this world. • Damn, now EVERYONE is getting tasered (well, actually this happened last year, but whatever). Hey, just because someone is in a wheelchair that doesn’t mean they should get any special privileges. Remember, “disabled” doesn’t mean “unable.” Besides, those wheelchairs can hurt. I should know. During my theater days some frequent customer who everybody hated got pissed at me one day and drove this motorized beast into my shin. I didn’t really care, and actually thought it was funny, but it gave me an excuse to act “faux pissed” at him, thus giving me an out in never having to deal with him. I mean, I could only fuck with his mind because it appeared that God already beat me to the physical part. Oh, yeah. Back to the story at hand. Fuck this family. Next time some psycho family member is on a relative's private property with weapons, the cops should just stay away and let them sort it out with hugs. • The only thing weird ever to come out of my bunghole was string during my adolescent days (still trying to figure that one out – yeah I ate some string but not that much, and not that color). Now the things that have gone into my browneye – that’s another story.

7:45 p.m. • So I was driving from work en route to pick up the better half, and I noticed this plane flying around with some banner attached to it. What was it? A picture of one of those cavemen with “Geico” printed. So a car insurance company is promoting itself by appearing in a way that will make motorists look up and away from traffic. Brilliant. • Moron. MikeSC was talking about this over at the other place, and I really don’t care. This douche brought it on himself. I say zap him some more. I love it when people go, “Don’t do anything/I’m not resisting,” but yet are resisting. • I was in Target today and walked by the book section. There I saw Bill Clinton’s latest book titled “Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World.” What was the book next to his? I don’t know, but it was titled “Quickie.”

Atlanta @ Jacksonville (10.5) Buffalo @ Pittsburgh (9.5) (7.5) Cincinnati @ Cleveland Green Bay @ N.Y. Giants (1.5) Houston @ Carolina (6.5) (7.5) Indianapolis @ Tennessee (3.5) New Orleans @ Tampa Bay San Francisco @ St. Louis (3.5) (3.5) Dallas @ Miami Minnesota @ Detroit (2.5) (3.5) Seattle @ Arizona Kansas City @ Chicago (12.5) N.Y. Jets @ Baltimore (10.5) Oakland @ Denver (10.5) San Diego @ New England (3.5) Washington @ Philadelphia (6.5) Atlanta (King 2-0) d Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 0-2) 5-3 ATL: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/HOU/IND/NO/STL/MIA/MIN/AZ/CHI/BAL/OAK/SD/PHI/14 JAX: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/STL/DAL/MIN/SEA/CHI/BAL/DEN/SD/PHI/24 DIFF: HOU/CAR, MIA/DAL, AZ/SEA, OAK/DEN, 14/24 Buffalo (Bob Barron 1-1) d by Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 1-1) 5-8 BUF: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/SF/DAL/MIN/SEA/CHI/BAL/DEN/NE/PHI/17 PIT: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/SF/DAL/MIN/SEA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NE/PHI/38 DIFF: ATL/JAX, BUF/PIT, CAR/HOU, IND/TEN, BAL/NYJ Cincinnati (Teke 2-0) d Cleveland (sfaJack 1-1) 8-8+TB CIN: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/SF/DAL/DET/AZ/CHI/BAL/OAK/SD/WAS/32 CLE: ATL/PIT/CIN/NYG/HOU/IND/NO/STL/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NE/WAS/13 DIFF: JAX/ATL, GB/NYG, CAR/HOU, SF/STL, AZ/SEA, BAL/NYJ, OAK/DEN, SD/NE, 32/13 Green Bay (Vitamin X 0-1) d N.Y. Giants (Cartman 1-0) 8-6 GB: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/SF/MIA/MIN/SEA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NE/WAS/20 NYG: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/STL/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NE/PHI/24 DIFF: HOU/CAR, TEN/IND, SF/STL, MIA/DAL, MIN/DET, WAS/PHI, 24/24 Houston (Bored 0-2) d by Carolina (Fazzle 2-0) 7-11 HOU: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/CAR/TEN/NO/SF/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/BAL/DEN/NE/PHI/16 CAR: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/TB/STL/DAL/DET/AZ/CHI/NYJ/OAK/NE/PHI/22 DIFF: JAX/ATL, PIT/BUF, CAR/HOU, NO/TB, SF/STL, SEA/AZ, BAL/NYJ, DEN/OAK, 16/22 Indianapolis (Andrew Doyle 0-2) d by Tennessee (Cuban Linx 2-0) 6-8 IND: JAX/BUF/CIN/NYG/CAR/TEN/NO/STL/DAL/DET/SEA/KC/NYJ/DEN/NE/PHI/24 TEN: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/CAR/TEN/NO/STL/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/BAL/OAK/NE/WAS/21 DIFF: JAX/ATL, NYG/GB, KC/CHI, NYJ/BAL, DEN/OAK, PHI/WAS, 24/21 New Orleans (Cena's Writer 1-1) d by Tampa Bay (Starvenger 1-1) 7-10 NO: JAX/BUF/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/STL/DAL/DET/AZ/KC/NYJ/OAK/SD/PHI/27 TB: ATL/PIT/CIN/GB/CAR/TEN/NO/STL/DAL/DET/SEA/KC/NYJ/OAK/NE/PHI/10 DIFF: JAX/ATL, BUF/PIT, IND/TEN, AZ/SEA, SD/NE San Francisco (Bravesfan 1-1) d by St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 1-1) 6-10 SF: JAX/PIT/CIN/NYG/HOU/IND/NO/SF/DAL/MIN/SEA/CHI/BAL/OAK/SD/WAS/24 STL: ATL/BUF/CLE/GB/CAR/IND/TB/SF/DAL/MIN/SEA/KC/NYJ/OAK/SD/WAS/21 DIFF: JAX/ATL, PIT/BUF, CIN/CLE, NYG/GB, HOU/CAR, NO/TB, CHI/KC, BAL/NYJ, 24/21 Dallas (Hawk 0-2) d by Miami (Spaceman Spiff 1-1) 7-8 DAL: ATL/PIT/CIN/GB/HOU/IND/NO/STL/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/BAL/OAK/SD/PHI/34 MIA: ATL/PIT/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/SF/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/BAL/DEN/NE/WAS/17 DIFF: HOU/CAR, STL/SF, OAK/DEN, SD/NE, PHI/WAS Minnesota (Danville 1-1) d Detroit (Chazz 1-1) 11-10 MIN: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/SF/DAL/MIN/AZ/KC/NYJ/OAK/NE/PHI/23 DET: ATL/PIT/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/STL/DAL/MIN/SEA/KC/NYJ/OAK/SD/WAS/20 DIFF: BUF/PIT, SF/STL, AZ/SEA, NE/SD, PHI/WAS Seattle (Redbaron 2-0) d Arizona (Vern Gagne 0-2) 10-6 SEA: ATL/PIT/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/SF/DAL/MIN/SEA/KC/NYJ/OAK/NE/WAS/24 AZ: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/HOU/IND/NO/STL/DAL/MIN/AZ/CHI/NYJ/DEN/SD/PHI/21 DIFF: ATL/JAX, CAR/HOU, SF/STL, SEA/AZ, KC/CHI, OAK/DEN, NE/SD, WAS/PHI, 24/21 Kansas City (Alfdogg 1-1) d by Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 1-1) 6-9 KC: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/CAR/TEN/NO/STL/DAL/MIN/SEA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NE/PHI/10 CHI: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/SF/DAL/DET/SEA/KC/NYJ/OAK/SD/WAS/24 DIFF: JAX/ATL, PIT/BUF, TEN/IND, STL/SF, MIN/DET, CHI/KC, DEN/OAK, NE/SD, PHI/WAS N.Y. Jets (Gert 0-2) d by Baltimore (King PK 1-1) 6-7 NYJ: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/CAR/IND/NO/STL/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/BAL/DEN/NE/WAS/7 BAL: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/STL/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/BAL/DEN/NE/PHI/35 DIFF: ATL/JAX, BUF/PIT, CAR/HOU, IND/TEN, WAS/PHI Oakland (Smues 1-1) d Denver (Canadian Chris 1-1) 9-9+TB OAK: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/SF/MIA/MIN/SEA/CHI/NYJ/OAK/NE/WAS/23 DEN: JAX/PIT/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/SF/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NE/PHI/27 DIFF: MIA/DAL, MIN/DET, OAK/DEN, WAS/PHI, 23/27 San Diego (Porter 2-0) d New England (nl-asshole 1-1) 7-6 SD: ATL/BUF/CIN/GB/HOU/IND/NO/SF/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/BAL/OAK/SD/PHI/34 NE: JAX/PIT/CIN/NYG/HOU/IND/NO/SF/DAL/MIN/SEA/KC/NYJ/DEN/SD/PHI/21 DIFF: ATL/JAX, BUF/PIT, GB/NYG, DET/MIN, CHI/KC, BAL/NYJ, OAK/DEN Washington (Human Fly 1-1) d by Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 2-0) 8-10 WAS: JAX/BUF/CIN/GB/HOU/IND/NO/SF/DAL/DET/SEA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NE/WAS/16 PHI: ATL/PIT/CIN/GB/CAR/TEN/NO/SF/DAL/DET/SEA/KC/NYJ/OAK/SD/PHI/28 DIFF: JAX/ATL, BUF/PIT, HOU/CAR, IND/TEN, CHI/KC, DEN/OAK, NE/SD, WAS/PHI, 16/28

To make it worse, Smues was 3 off and you were 4. AFC EAST New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 1-1 < PF: 14, PA: 14, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 1-1 < PF: 15, PA: 18, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-0 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 1-1 < PF: 15, PA: 16, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > New York Jets (Gert T) 0-2 < PF: 13, PA: 15, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > AFC NORTH Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 2-0 < PF: 16, PA: 15, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 2-0 > Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 15, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-1 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 1-1 < PF: 15, PA: 13, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 1-1 < PF: 14, PA: 14, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > AFC SOUTH Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 2-0 < PF: 21, PA: 14, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 2-0 > Houston Texans (Bored) 0-2 < PF: 15, PA: 22, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 0-2 < PF: 11, PA: 18, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 0-2 < PF: 11, PA 17:, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > AFC WEST San Diego Chargers (Porter) 2-0 < PF: 16, PA: 13, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 17, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 1-0 > Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 1-1 < PF: 17, PA: 17, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 0-2 < PF 17:, PA: 19, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 2-0 < PF: 18, PA: 15, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-0 > New York Giants (Cartman) 1-1 < PF: 14, PA: 14, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 1-1 < PF: 19, PA: 17, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-0 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 0-2 < PF: 13, PA: 16, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC NORTH Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 1-1 < PF: 19, PA: 20, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 15, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-0 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 1-1 < PF: 15, PA: 16, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-0 > Detroit Lions (Chazz 1998) 1-1 < PF: 18, PA: 18, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 2-0 < PF: 15, PA: 11, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 2-0 < PF: 19, PA: 13, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-0 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 1-1 < PF: 19, PA: 18, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 15, AFC: 1-0 , NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC WEST Seattle Seahawks (Red Baron51) 2-0 < PF: 21, PA: 15, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-0 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 1-1 < PF: 16, PA: 14, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > San Francisco 49ers (Bravesfan) 1-1 < PF: 15, PA: 16, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-1 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 0-2 < PF: 12, PA: 19, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-2 > PLAY AT HOME Pittsburgh Steelers (Me) 2-0< PF: 16, PA: 13, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-0 > Indianapolis Colts (Steve Rogers) 0-2 < PF: 13, PA: 17, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 >

JAX/ATL, BUF/PIT, HOU/CAR, IND/TEN, CHI/KC, DEN/OAK, NE/SD, WAS/PHI, 16/28 Quinn won your matchup by two differing picks.

Uh, why? Cats don't suck the breath out of babies ... much.

I don't think this thread go derailed. It evolved. I consider derailing an intentional act. Like ... this... Fuck.

9:30 p.m. • Thanks to Al Keiper for reminding me of this. So the Mexican welfare family on the better half’s side of the family will have its patriarch soon celebrate his 57th birthday. And the welfare household whose annual Memorial Day cookout is an annual event I completely dread will be having a surprise party. We got an invitation. Uh, no. But that’s not where this story ends. We also got a notice that there is a Wal-Mart gift registry for this event, and Mrs. kkk and I had to see what was on this list. Five and a half pages worth of stuff. Here are the highlights: Motor oil. Metallic-looking boxers. Rose-petal bubble bath. Pressure washer -- $100. Various kids gifts. Lavender bubble bath stuff. Windshield wiper fluid. Batteries. Computer virus protection. Even though we’re getting these people jack shit (they already get a gift from us on the first of every month), I was seriously considering getting several family members together to chip in for a bottle of Pennzoil. 9 p.m. • Let’s see, what’s going on. Got an interview for Thursday for a resume that was received today. Has potential, but whatever. Let me stress again that the best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Sure it would be great to burn your bridge whenever you’ve had enough of your workplace situation, but unless you live with mommy and daddy, you got bills to pay. Something tells me this could be another “you’re overqualified” experience, but there’s nothing wrong with polishing up your interviewing techniques. I remember reading a while back former Bears great Mike Singletary, now an assistant coach, was asked why he wanted to interview for a head coaching job he had no chance of getting and was called only because of the NFL’s hippie “interview a token minority” candidate. He replied that the opportunity to interview was reason enough. More power to him. For the record, my place of employment, which has had an opening for several months now, will be calling people that sent in resumes back in July for interviews. You gotta love organizations that do this sort of thing. Any candidate with half a brain will realize that a place which calls you in for an interview regarding a resume you submitted months back had several preferred candidates flake out. If the candidate has three-fourths of a brain, he/she will figure out that there’s probably some reason the preferred candidates chose not to work at this place. • Oh, man. No wonder the liberals love Hugo. Now he wants to take over private schools. And just what will the kiddies be learning? And just how is this any different from the government schools and universities in the U.S.? • Well many people thank God when they score a big touchdown or receive some award. Why not sue the guy upstairs? But this part caught my eye, too. • I swear to Christ if I hear another "It's the mirrors" ad one more time I'm breaking one of those "mirrors" and slashing the throats of everyone involved with producing this tripe. And while I'm at it, I'll take out a few people who thought up this godawful "Caveman" show. I don't care if it hasn't aired yet. Some public airwave conceptions should be aborted in their first trimester.

15 years was one hell of a run. It's amazing how some pets will fight to live -- that's what makes it even harder.

8:30 p.m. • Well everything came and went without much of a hitch. Although it was funny to point out to the better half that, when she let the nieces and nephew play with my exercise equipment, that I got the third degree when I babysat them a while back and let them goof around with that stuff. 11:45 a.m. • So the last few days have been hella crazy. In a few hours we will be hosing a cookout for a few people, and on Friday the better half and I went to get some stuff. Did we go to the grocery store for meat? Nope. We had to go to the local butcher guy who lives in the backwoods. Next it was onto Sam’s for some cock breast chicken. I think we got some other stuff, but I can’t remember. We also went to a few other places that I can’t remember, which scares me a bit. Anyway, we did all this shit right after getting home from work, which has been hectic for me this past week. We left for work at 6 a.m., then left for shopping at 4 p.m. It was now past 8 p.m., and I was starting to crash. What made me grumpier was knowing that I was going to have to go into work Saturday morning, and goddamn am I a spoiled brat, considering I used to pull 16-hour shifts with regularity back in the day. But I digress. It was 8 p.m., and Mrs. kkk asked if we should just get alcohol now instead of waiting for Saturday. I’m a person that likes to get things over with, so I agreed. Now did we go down the main road of our area to a place that sells beer? No. We took these backroads that added 10-15 minutes onto what is normally a 5-minute commute. Why do people do this shit? Well, I was already grumbling a bit when we pulled into the Pizza Hut. Yes, Pizza Hut. Pennsylvania has this ass-backwards law that makes it next-to-impossible for places to sell booze, but for some reason this PIZZA HUT has a little cooler to sell beer. I don’t know. I’m not going to try and figure it out. When we pulled in, Mrs. kkk said “when you go in there get Busch beer.” Wait, why do I have to go in? “Because the man gets the beer.” WTF? When was this a rule? And I’m not a “real” man. When I bother to drink, I drink wine coolers and Kahluas. I don’t hunt or fish. I know dick about automobiles. And you know what? I’m proud to admit this shit, which probably makes me more of a man than you. But now I’m getting off track. I go into the Hut and look in the cooler. I have no idea what these brands are they are selling, and they were all in at least a 12-pack. There’s no way I’m buying these tax-saturated products for one-two people max. Fuck that. I went to the “real” meat shop for this event. I get back in the car and tell the better half that they don’t have Busch. “Well can’t you get something else?” Why then did you tell me to get a specific brand? Look, I may not be a man’s man, but I’ve been around enough to know that some males are just as picky with their choice of adult beverages than women are with fashion design labels. She then tells me to just get whatever, because now fatigue is starting to hit her. I go back in and get two big cans of Coors. Hey, this is our house and it’s not often that we bring booze into it. Anyway, now I get to the point of this story. I put these two big cans on the register, and the cashier has no idea how to ring them up. She makes some comment that must have been bad, because she got real apologetic with me. Too bad I was zoning out and wasn’t paying attention. The manager comes over and both are trying to figure out how to ring up this transaction. Then the manager says something that snapped me back to reality real quick. “These two cans are $2.25 each and their ringing up as $4.50 total. That’s not right.” R’oh? And no, she wasn’t talking about taxes. And no, there wasn't a line or any reason for them to get frazzled. Yes, this whole saga was leading up to a customer service story. Feel shortchanged? Too bad. I had to live it. Now if you will excuse me, I have to vacuum and put in another load of laundry before the guests arrive. No, I’m not making this up. And I’m going to be bbq’ing shit this afternoon. At least it’s with my two charcoal grills. Propane is for communists.

So will I be doing this from now on?

Just for the heck of it, I did totals of how many people picked what teams in Week 1. There may be a mistake here or there because I didn't double-check. The team that "won" is bolded. New Orleans --13 @ Indianapolis (5.5) --19 Atlanta --10 @ Minnesota (3.5) --22 Carolina --11 @ St. Louis (0.5) --21 (3.5) Denver -- 27 @ Buffalo -- 5 Kansas City -- 13 @ Houston (2.5) --19 Miami --12 @ Washington (3.5) --20 (6.5) New England --18 @ N.Y. Jets -- 14 (3.5) Philadelphia --24 @ Green Bay --8 (4.5) Pittsburgh -- 30 @ Cleveland -- 2 Tennessee -- 19 @ Jacksonville (6.5) --13 Chicago -- 21 @ San Diego (6.5) -- 11 Detroit -- 15 @ Oakland (1.5) --17 Tampa Bay -- 5 @ Seattle (6.5) -- 27 N.Y. Giants -- 5 @ Dallas (5.5) -- 27 Baltimore -- 18 @ Cincinnati (3.5) -- 14 Arizona -- 5 @ San Francisco (3.5) -- 27

12 a.m. • After working 9:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. behind a computer, there’s nothing I like better than coming home to … type behind a computer. Goddamnit. Atlanta @ Jacksonville (10.5) Man, I knew I’d be hating these spreads when I first posted them. Sure the Jags will win by double digits. Buffalo @ Pittsburgh (9.5) OK, Buffalo has a bunch of injuries, and Pittsburgh won big last week. But they played Cleveland. What do I do? Do I jump on the bandwagon now and have them not cover, or do I stay with the other team and watch the Steelers win big again. Oh, I’ll be a homer this week, although the black and gold don’t always impress at home. 20 points. (7.5) Cincinnati @ Cleveland LOL – the Browns traded away their starting quarterback from last week already. I’ll take the Bengals offense to score bunches, even though this is the BATTLE FOR OHIO~! Green Bay @ N.Y. Giants (1.5) Hmm, I’m not sure how long Emily will be out, if at all. I’ll go with the NFL’s IRON MAN. Houston @ Carolina (6.5) Interesting. The Texans surprised me by winning last week. I think Carolina will win the game, but I’m hoping it’ll be close. (7.5) Indianapolis @ Tennessee Here’s hoping Indy stays on that roll from last year’s Wild Card. (3.5) New Orleans @ Tampa Bay The Saints didn’t play all that well in Week 1, but here’s hoping they rebound against a divisional foe. San Francisco @ St. Louis (3.5) I thought Arizona would win last week due to the air attack. Here’s hoping the 49ers can keep it close. (3.5) Dallas @ Miami Uh, yay Cowboys? Minnesota @ Detroit (2.5) Sure Detroit scored bunches of points – it was against Oakland. Yeah, the Raiders had a "good" defense last year, from what some people on TV said, but was it one of those defenses where the other team just scored a bunch early and let the offense play catch up all game? You know, much like a crappy team can have a “good” pass defense because after a team builds a 30-0 lead all they do is run the ball against the pass defense in the second half. Let's see, how many points they the Raiders give up last year? 27, 28, 24, 34, 13, 9, 13, 16, 17, 17, 21, 23, 27, 20, 20, 23 Is that good? I dunno. All I know is that the Raiders offense didn't score more in most of those games enough times to warrant the top pick in the most recent draft. (3.5) Seattle @ Arizona They’re still the divisional champs. Respect due. Kansas City @ Chicago (12.5) All the Bears have to do is kick four, err, five field goals. I’m confident. N.Y. Jets @ Baltimore (10.5) Hmm, the offense sucked dong last week. I’ll say the Ravens get the home vibe going and win. Oakland @ Denver (10.5) I’ll say the Broncos because even if they get up on their rival they’ll want to score more points. San Diego @ New England (3.5) Shit. Does spy-gate rally the Pats or distract them? I’ll go with the latter. Washington @ Philadelphia (6.5) I think Philly will win, but I’m hoping not by much.

Quick FYI: Matchups probably won't be posted until Saturday evening or Sunday morning. Work > kkk Bowl

9 p.m. • Well, so much for the "fire Ozzie" talk I have heard in the sports media. I bet "Around the Horn" panelist Jay Mariotti loves this news. I bet he loves this web site even more. Wow. I mean, I goof on Racist Dusty, among others. But I haven't devoted a web site to these people. At least not yet. 7:45 p.m. • So now there's some talk in the media about MTV losing it's appeal. I can tell you the exact time when I said "fuck MTV." It was during a video awards show in the 1990s. The Beastie Boys' was nominated for video of the year. What won instead? Aerosmith's Seriously, WTF? I guess it could have been worse. That piece of shit "Everybody Hurts" could have won instead. I have nothing bad to say about "Heart-Shaped Box." I was indifferent to Nirvana back then, but I'll listen to them every once in a while today. 2:30 p.m. • Today truly is a somber day for America. Collectively, we must all bow our heads in sorrow and never forget the evil that was unexpectedly thrust upon us. But enough talking about the final season of “Charmed,” which get released on DVD today, and that godawful Billie character the writers created. A national tragedy indeed.