kkktookmybabyaway

I don't even want to know what yours are like up there.

When that one gungan says to Jar Jar, "You in some big doo-doo this time."

5 p.m. So the better half just called and told me I got a cell phone. Like anyone calls me on the landline. Now she'll be bitching about me never having it on, losing it or having it fall apart. Joy. 4:30 p.m. • Just a note for all kkk Bowl participants: I should be making an announcement in the Sports thread late this month/early August. If you had a team last year, you’ll get first dibs at it again. I’m about halfway done with the score sheets and I might get motivated enough to finish it off today. • Pity, really. I wish they would have paid an extra $6 million for covering up the action of perv priests. Makes me wonder how many of these lawsuits are legit and how many are bullshit. Also makes me wonder why I didn't jump on the cash-wagon when I had the chance. That's right, Mrs. kkk is a Catholic. I'm a confirmed Lutheran. Drat. • Saw the original Rollerball for the first time last night. Eh. I didn’t really like the whole “corporations take over the world” bit because I think a one-world government would have been a better fit. After all, I thought Big Corporation wanted wars, poverty and all that other good stuff. But despite my nit-pickery, it’s still a better movie than that crap which came out a few years ago under the same name.

If anyone wants to trade teams with King, just let me know.

Damnit.

What I decided to do with Mrs. kkk regarding this issue is made each two-page spread a "theme." Example, one spread was the outside and inside of the church, one was of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, one was the ceremony, etc. It helped out because we were able to group certain photos and then pick from those what we she wanted in the book. Oh, and this book thing ain't over -- wait until you get the proof, which is a "final check" where you get to determine if this is what you really want.

And will you take them through more than six games in the season?

KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 16: Cerebus I first met Cerebus a few years back, and he really enjoyed the debate which used to go on in the CE threads. On top of that, he actually knew what he was talking about. Hey, did you know he was a Palestinian Christian? Cerebus was part of the Conservative Brigade, but because he was from Connecticut, where RINOs graze like how the buffalo used to before whitey showed up, he was never given the exclusive VIP membership card. However, he really isn’t like many of the other pansy-ass RINOs in the New England region; he just doesn't care for the Pat Robertsons of the world, and you really can’t blame someone for that. I’m not exactly a Robertson fan, but if he gets enough people to the polls to vote for the same people I do, then he can say God shows his wrath to third-world countries that don’t believe in Christianity through tidal waves, earthquakes and the AIDS. Then again God didn’t create AIDS, the C.I.A. did to wipe out the inner-cities. However, like many government agencies, they fucked up and now homos can’t ride bareback. Thanks a lot, Reagan. You had to go ruin that, too. I don't think I mentioned this yet, but Cerebus is a Palestinian Christian. Sadly, like many people at TSM, he moved on to do stuff in the real world, such as make babies with his hot wife, teach and do other grown-up stuff that I’m still trying to stay away from because I’m only of shell of a true man like Cerebus, who doesn’t mind being responsible and willing to engage in the circle of life. Oh, yeah. I think I heard somewhere that he is a Palestinian Christian. 7:45 p.m. • Now there's an arrest in a tortise torture case? Good God. 4:45 p.m. • Yeah, we don't want any of those totalitarion groups in Germany exploiting vulnerable people. 1:30 p.m. • And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). It’s not really a call, it’s an e-mail she just read. Someone wrote to say that she was driving down the road and saw a sign that read “Kids Come First Daycare.” Now daycare centers are like concentration camps on this show, so that’s why this e-mail was read. However, the reason I mention this is that there’s a daycare with the same name just down the road from where I live. Now the location of the e-mailer wasn’t said, and I’m sure there’s more than one business in this country with this name. However, Dr. Laura is in the Shittsburgh market. The real kicker to this is that there is a woman’s strip club right next to this daycare center near me. Wait, I just got the caller of the day. Someone’s in love with some guy and had premarital sex with him. Uh oh. Here we go. “What you’re doing for free other women charge for.” “You’re putting prostitutes out of business.” OK, now that was funny. Why the hell would anyone call this show with a question dealing with out-of-wedlock sex? I lived in sin for six-and-a-half years and could just imagine the bitching I’d get on this show if I called with a similar question. Actually, I am curious about something. Mrs. kkk has a friend who was a bridesmaid at our wedding. Now there’s a chance that this chick could get married to this real piece of work. The better half has told her friend what she things of this guy. If her friend would end up marrying this guy, Mrs. kkk thinks that being a bridesmaid would be an endorsement of this holy union. However, if she would refuse to be a bridesmaid this would probably be the end of the friendship. Personally, I don’t think being a bridesmaid endorses the marriage; it’s just being there for a friend or family member. I could be wrong on this one, but then again I’m a guy and we don’t know shit about this stuff. 7:30 a.m. • With yesterday's Vick and psycho-leaves-girl-to-gators stories making their rounds around the media, I didn't have the heart to tell the better half about the teens-light-kitten-on-fire tragedy. I figured she would find out about it soon enough. She did. From my work inbox this morning. Oh this will be a fun ride home today. It's kinda funny, whenever we took in our two stray cats, each time the mother-in-law made a remark that Mrs. kkk is trying to save everything in this world. We're not trying to save the world. Just what comes up to our doorstep. And just as long as it has four legs and a tail. Fuck the human race.

9 p.m. • So I had O'Reilly on and he was talking about some hot ghetto mess Web site, and he said that this voyeuristic Web site is exploiting the inner city. He then made a side comment about how the ghetto really isn’t a mess and this is making the people of the inner city look bad. Uh, Bill. 8 p.m. • Let's complete the humans-are-scum trifectia with this gem. And what is this "alternative theory"? Riiiiight. Here's the rest of the story. And LOL at the attorney firings. Just think, the one he kept offers the "alternative theory." Perhaps the other fired legal eagles had souls. Then again, probably not. 7:45 p.m. • What the fuck is wrong with this world? Christ only knows what happened to the other kittens. And perhaps those who compain about the teenage death not getting as much "attention" should have shown their outrage when it happened. Sad thing is the cat's probably going to die anyway and those little monsters will get counseling when they should be getting a special delivery from the Cancer Fairy. 4:30 p.m. • As I'm typing JJ is taking a pee in the computer room litterbox. Sometimes I wonder if cats get annoyed if they're trying to do their business when someone else is in the room. I know I like to use stalls when in a public facility. God is that ever a gamble, hoping to find a toilet that's not clogged up with shit. You know, as much as I think cigarettes are nothing more than a tax on the stupid, when will it end? The reason I say this is because once there's not enough smokers to pay out these taxes, Big Government will come after some of the stuff I like, such as burgers, fries and soft drinks. Then again, they're already doing this, but the process will be sped up more. 1:30 p.m. • So the better half and I had ESPN’s Mike and Mike on this morning, and they were talking about the Michael Vick case and how he’s been indicted for dog fighting. Now Mrs. kkk has a real soft spot for animals (you’d figure that out with the three cats we have), and when she heard that dogs in the Vick Manor were (allegedly) electrocuted, hung and shot, among other things, she turned the radio off. I turned it back on the local RIGHT-WING RADIO guy whose co-hosts she HATES, I then said something to her and turned my head and saw her in pre-cry mode, where her lower lip covers up her upper lip and the chin dimples start to show. Believe me, I know this look, seeing how she’s married to me. Anyway, just to be my usual asshole self, I said to her, “Now dear, this is part of their culture.” She shot back with the following remark, “Well it was part of our society’s culture to hang these niggers from a tree like they did those dogs and beat them to death. Maybe we should do that with these fucking assholes!” Wow. I couldn’t think of anything else to say but, “Baby, I love you.” By the way, couldn’t Vick just own a meat processing plant and get his jollies from livestock getting killed? He could still bet money on how long it would take a cow to bleed to death or something.

post it twice more, and IT MIGHT JUST COME TRUE! What happens at the other place, stays at the other place. Should I?

Over at the other place, Teke said that teams won't be allowed to play "Who let the dogs out?"

RE: The waiter. What's just as bad, if not worse, are the movie donations when they play a preview asking you to give and then the ushers walk up and down the aisles with those collection cans.

What happens at the other place, stays at the other place.

You going to do kkk Bowl V?

Harry Potter kills that Vladimir guy and marries his cat.

There goes the neighborhood.

STFU n00b.

9:30 p.m. • So tonight was Texas Roadhouse night for the kkk household. I can’t remember the last time I went, but damn I love this place. Great food, from the hard-boiled egg bits they put in the salad to that apple-butter stuff for the rolls, to the steak/chicken/pork. And the value is solid, too. Actually, I remember going here after W. got re-elected, and the place was packed with joyous Republicans. Christ only knows what it was like the day after the ’06 elections. I bet Panera Bread, Starbucks and the fag hippie eatery (Amazon café, I think it’s called) by the local mall were filled to the gills with the tofu and kelp flying off the shelves. • On the way home from work today I saw another bumper sticker worth noting. At first I was going to mention my sight of an Edwards ’08 decal, but then a few miles later my attention turned to this gem. It was a picture of a pistol with that circle/slash symbol with the words “No handguns please.” Oh that’s fucking brilliant. If I was a carjacker I know I’d sure stay away from you. Why don’t you put a sign out on your lawn that reads, “This house is a gun-free zone.” Idiot. • Man, and I thought those celebrity PSA’s in the States were retarded. I love that last paragraph. Actually, from what I hear, trafficking is mad crazy down there. Then again, when it’s 11 p.m. and you’re in the mood for some Latina teen poon, Jose is only a phone call away, and the delivery charges are pretty reasonable, especially with the rising gas prices and all. • But … but… the WWE said there weren’t any roids in Benoit’s body. • Wow, Smues was right. Alaska sure has its share of fucked up drivers.

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 17: Wildbomb 4:20 Some of you may not remember this guy, but I sure do. When Mr. Bomb first came on the scene, he actually tried to make valid, thought-out arguments. Peep this post regarding media bias. As if that wasn’t bad enough, here’s another post of his in the SAME THREAD talking about the economy. Please note he’s not copying and pasting material someone else already wrote. This is all original thought. And you expect me to actually read all this? And what was my response to him after skimming through the latter post? When another poster questioned why I just “refer to the very end of (the post), ignoring the meat of the information,” I had to remind him that I generally don’t read anything longer than two sentences (or three syllables) at this place. Besides, if I spent the time actually reading long, thought-out posts, you wouldn’t get such hilarity like what I posted at thread's end. Sadly, poor Wildbomb still gave it that old $120,000 college try by attempting to generate serious discussion, but he would usually came up short. However, because we were both in the communications field, we shot the shit quite a bit via PMs, and there were actually a few threads where there was somewhat decent banter. And what did many of these threads have in common? Wildbomb wasn’t going on 500+ word posts about how much he owes in school loans. Let this be a lesson to all aspiring TSM posters – nobody wants to read all that shit. Nobody cares. If you’re going to post something long, make it be from someone else and just bold selected text to make it appear like you actually read the whole thing while hoping there’s nothing contradictory that could shoot your premise down. Wildbomb finally caught on and realized that nobody at this place is going to significantly change his or her opinions because some faceless message board poster said something smart. I have no idea what he’s been up to in the last few years, but for his sake I hope he’s paying down that $60+k in school loans. The fact he doesn’t post much, if at all, anymore is certainly a good sign. Ha. I just goofed on Wildbomb for making long posts and I’m already at the 1400+ word mark with this entry. Well, most of this text is from, surprise, other people’s posts. Besides, this is a blog, not some hippie thread. You EXPECT this kind of deep thought in these personal journals. Well, what you expect and what you get are two different things. And I got some bad news… …HERE COMES THE HIT SQUAD! It's PMD up in the sector I wreck the microphonin I'm quick to pull a Tek and snap that neck and leave ya moanin Kid I'm zoning it's on and I'm back up on the block (Aiyo, we represent the sewer!) Son, I represent the dock (dock) Plus I knock (what?) niggas out the box quickly Kid I'm strictly motherfuckin business so get wit me Yo Scratch hit me so I can do my thing and blow the spot Here’s some more bad news – this entry ain’t getting much better. 9 p.m. • So when cats sleep, you can tell if they’re dreaming by their paws twitching. Once in a while one of our three might give a little chirp when snoozing; God knows what they’re thinking about. However, last night when Max was sleeping on the recliner he began meowing – loudly. At first I thought I was on his tail or something, but I wasn’t. He let out a few more meows and continued his slumber. Guess it was a nightmare or something. I know it couldn’t have been an imaginary girlfriend because he’s fixed. Then again, maybe he was pissed that nothing was going on down there in dreamland. • So I was driving home through the hood today, and what was in front of me? This hippie van-thingy in front of me that was spewing so much exhaust I had to wind up the windows and turn on the air conditioner. And what kind of bumper sticker was on it? The kind that said, “Act Green” then something about how the earth appreciates it. Oh if Mrs. kkk only got me a camera phone. Oh who am I kidding? No way in hell I’d be able to figure it out. Damn kids and their fancy text messages. Actually, I think the whole point of texting is stupid because all people seem to say is… “how r u” “good u” “good lol” “where r u” “work ” " " “lol” “lol” “cu l8r” “cu” And there’s $50 right there.

Verizon. Basically, we're doing this family plan thing with her parents. The better half had been doing this for years with them and Verizon, and now they're adding me in to the mix. If you add in the 20 percent discount we're getting from Mrs. kkk's place of employment, our half of the bill comes to $40 per month. Then again, I'm sure the better half is holding out some details, so our actual payment will be $100 or something.

Haven't there been multiple "ESPN sucks" threads? Group them together and see the reply/view totals.

No Jack in the Box, White Castle (thank God) or Sonic. I did hear that they may build a few stores areound here though.

4:30 p.m. • This has been a somewhat-big story in my neck of the woods. This just goes to show that if some drunk driver plows into you, and your car can still run after the collision, run over the sonofabitch and killer the fucker if you have the chance. Taking a wrench to the lush's head a few times will work, too, if your car is unable to drive. 3:30 p.m. • So the better half was reading her church’s weekly newsletter-thing and said that they’re looking for some guest family (or whatever they’re called) for some South Korean exchange student. (Sorry, Vyce, this one’s 16.) After I got my “Don’t even think about it unless you don’t want to see our cats again” remark out of the way, I had to comment that it’s amazing for someone that young to travel half-way across the world and spend a year with people you don’t know. Shit, I’m lucky to leave the house during the weekend. • This past week had a date titled 7-11 and Friday the 13th. Weird.

In a thread titled "JAxL almost gets shot/mugged." You mean other people are going to tell their "almost gets shot/mugged" stories, too?