kkktookmybabyaway

It's a blog. He can use commas whenever he wants to. Has Marvin done anything wacky as of late, or is this a general "that crazy Marvin" comment?

9 p.m. • 100 Most Influential Hispanics? I don't think I could name 100 Hispanics, period. Wait a second: I forgot about baseball players. Nevermind, I'm good. • So what if our former Chief Justice thought the CIA was out to get him. This was the CIA, so it was probably true. 5 p.m. • Update on the turkey baster family. For those not in the know, here is what I am talking about: Mrs. kkk found out this afternoon, when trying to call Tonya to RSVP her presence at little Reba's birthday party this weekend, that Tonya turns her ringer off. Why? Because she's tired of all the bill-collectors calling. Oh, and Gary is pissed off because with Tonya's job of sitting around doing nothing, err, I mean cleaning her aunt's house (actually, I think it now may be her mom, rather than aunt) for the State, they are $100 over some marker and can't collect as much welfare. Of course, that was bound to happen when Gary eventually gets upgraded to full-time status with the County Courthouse's janitorial staff. I should note that the better half will be going to this party and not me. Why is that? Because these people didn't attend our wedding. Believe me, I didn't want them attending. I love cashing in "Get Out Of Family Events Because The People Hosting It Didn't Come To Your Wedding" cards. 3 p.m. • Now let me get this straight... So while black people were on top of houses waiting to be rescued, cops were saving frozen embryos? That's ... the most awesome thing I've ever heard. Yeah, I know it says this rescue took place a fortnight after the storm, but that information is all the way down in the fifth paragraph -- nobody actually reads that far down in these posted articles. • Christ, I can't remember who I picked in Week 16. I'll just do a "correct/incorrect" quickie run-down and highlight the really stupid things I said while predicting this week's slate of games. Minnesota at Green Bay (3.5) –– Incorrect (6.5) Kansas City at Oakland –– Correct Baltimore at Pittsburgh (3.5) –– Correct Carolina at Atlanta (6.5) -– Correct (4.5) Chicago at Detroit -- Correct (The joke was almost on me.) (9.5) Indianapolis at Houston -- Incorrect New England at Jacksonville (2.5) -- Correct New Orleans at N.Y. Giants (3.5) -- Incorrect (Final score: Saints 30, Giants 7.) Tampa Bay at Cleveland (3.5) -- Correct Tennessee at Buffalo (4.5) -- Correct Washington at St. Louis (2.5) -- Incorrect Arizona at San Francisco (4.5) -- Incorrect Cincinnati at Denver (3.5) -- Incorrect (4.5) San Diego at Seattle -- Incorrect Philadelphia at Dallas (7.5) -- Incorrect N.Y. Jets at Miami (2.5) -- Incorrect This week's score: 7-9 Cumulate score: 107-117 Well, it was looking good until those pesky last 6 games. Oops. I forgot about my Week 15 Pickkk results.

What happens when these teams meet up in the playoffs?

Also, if you're one of those people who waits until the last second to submit picks, I'd appreciate it if you would give me scores ASAP and let me know that you might change a score or two as the first Saturday kickoff nears. If you request this I'll hold off on making your picks public until you either give me updated picks or when the first kickoff takes place. Over the last two years I've have people not submit picks in the postseason, which just seems stupid, considering you go through 17 weeks to get this far only to not make picks when the games really count. (Emergency Picks in the postseason have an odd way of matching up with an opponent's selections, and since TB scores aren't factored into a person's EPs, that gives the no-shower an automatic loss.)

SCORING: Whoever picks the most correct winners in each match-up advances to the next round. Example: * Cuban Linx picks, KC, DAL, NYJ and NYG to win/cover the spread. * Alfdogg picks IND, SEA, NE, PHI to win/cover the spread. * KC, DAL, NE and NYG win (meaning they covered the spread). * Cuban Linx beats Alfdogg 3-1 If there is a tie then the first tie-breaker will be whoever was more accurate in picking the total scores for all four separate games. Example: * Prime Time Andrew Doyle picks Indy to win 20-0, Seattle to win 21-14, NY Jets to beat the spread 14-17 in a loss to New England, and NY Giants to win 10-0. * Bob Barron picks Indy to win 20-10, Seattle to win 30-20, NY Jets to win 10-9, and NY Giants to win 20-10. * Indy wins 35-21, Seattle wins 24-3, New England wins 42-6 and the New York Giants win 13-7. * Doyle and Barron are tied at 3 correct picks each and move on to the first tie-breaker. * Doyle had a total of 20 points selected in the Indy (20 for Indy, 0 for Kansas City), Barron had 30 (20 for Indy, 10 for Kansas City). The final score total is 56, so Barron wins that game. * Doyle had a total of 35 points selected in the Seattle, Barron had 50. The final score total was 27, so Doyle wins that game. * Doyle had a total of 31 points selected in the New England game, Barron had 19. The final score total was 48, so Doyle wins that game. * Doyle had a total of 10 points selected in the Giants game, Barron had 30. The final score total was 20, Doyle and Barron tie that game. * Doyle defeats Barron 2 games to 1 with 1 tie in the first tie-breaker. If there is still a tie after the first tie-breaker, the second tie-breaker will be combining the total points of all four games and seeing who is closest to the total score of all four games – the first tie-breaker had all four games counted separately. The third tie-breaker will be seeing who is closest to every team score. If there is still a tie after the third tie-breaker then I’m going to shoot myself. But before I do I’ll flip a coin to determine the winner -- heads the “road” team wins, tails the “home” team wins.

9 p.m. So not only were the players roiding up during that magical summer of '98, but the baseballs were juiced, too? Oh my world is crashing down all around me. How could this have happened? HOW?! 7 p.m. • There's an interesting topic over in the Sports folder regarding how the NFL should treat overtime games. Currently, it's the first team to score wins. It doesn't matter if points are scored on the overtime's opening drive, in the final seconds or on a turnover. Here's how college football does its thing, according to Wikipedia: For years, the debate has been whether or not the NFL should adopt college football's overtime system. For years I have been in the "keep it as-is" crowd. Hey, each team had 60 minutes to score more points. If your offense doesn't take the field in overtime because the other team scored first, too bad. This is football. Quit yer bitchin'. However, recently I have been starting to wonder if the NFL won't be better if this change is made. After all, the two-point conversion made the NFL a better product, in my opinion. I think I may eventually change my opinion on this one. 5 p.m. • This seemed to be the topic du jour on sports talk radio today. If you can find a school that will pay you a shitload of money for a decade or so, then go for it. One thing that makes me chuckle whenever a coach leaves on place for another, especially on an amateur level, is that they always get on their players about commitment, dedication, pride, and all that other hippie shit. Then they pack up and leave when a better offer arrives on their doorstep. When I was entering 10th grade, my high school hired some redneck football coach who got on our players about being in the weight room and all that other jock stuff. Now even though I couldn’t stand him, he did turn our football program around. As my high school years progressed, our teams didn’t have winning records, but these contests were much more competitive. When I was a senior, our team got off to a slow start after losing a few close games, but you could tell this wasn’t the same team as in year’s past. In fact, it was predicted that the graduating class to come after mine would be playoff-bound (and in fact they were, as well as a few other classes after that). But one thing I’ll remember is that this same coach, who had his players commit all their time and energy to playing for him, left after my junior year for a better deal. I heard quite a few players on that team were crying when the coach announced his intentions. • Pat Robertson is predicting a terrorist attack on the United States sometime later this year. Was this one of those direct-calls from God? Hate to break it to you, Pat, but the terrorists already struck last September. And while I'm on the subject of Congress. You know, I guess I could go “OMG partisan politics” and all that shit, but I don’t care. Democrats won the last election – they can institute all the commie programs they want. To the victor go the spoils. • I was driving to my old man’s house during the holidays and was behind this hippie couple with all these bumper stickers attached to their piece of shit truck. While many were run-of-the-mill slogans, one got a laugh out of me. It was all white with red letters and read “Say No To Empire.” WTF? I wish we were an empire. That way, instead of all this politically correct bullshit we could flatten the entire Middle East, take their oil and turn that region into a big Wal-Mart. And forget about culturally sensitive meals at Club Gitmo.

7 p.m. I heard it on his radio show this morning. Neal Boortz's radio show is back in Shittsburgh! Well, it will be on tape delay, but the fact he's back in the market gives me hope for this region yet. He first came here when 104.7 switched to a RIGHT-WING RADIO network a few years back. At that time they needed something to fill the early afternoon slot since Rush was on another station. This is where I began listening to Boortz's show. As the weeks and months went by I began keeping his show on longer and longer until I stopped listening to Rush and Jim Rome altogether. Sadly, 104.7 took Rush away from the other station, moving Boortz to some commie-fag station. He got deep-sixed shortly thereafter. But now he's back, baby. Too bad I listen to his local Atlanta/nationally syndicated broadcasts online now, but that's neither here nor there. One funny note, Neal will be going up against his fellow 750-AM WSB talker Clark Howard, who is on the above-mentioned commie-fag station. Both shows are on tape delay in Shittsburgh, but that's OK -- it always takes this place a while to get with the times. 4:30 p.m. I love my neighborhood. As I was driving home from work today, I got behind a school bus making its routine stops on my street. From the bus jumped out a girl (no older than 6th grade, probably) dressed in a prissy outfit on her way to her house, which, like many in my neighborhood are nice, especially for this area. Following her was this kid in raggedy jeans and a flannel shirt that headed over to his dad, who also had on raggedy jeans and a flannel shirt. I guess they were going somewhere because the dad was by a pick-up truck. Now I'm not making fun of the kid and his old man for their lot in life. I'm laughing because the dad had a mullet. I needed the chuckle, especially considering earlier in the commute two asshole motorists almost hit me and another driver as we pulled over to the side of the road to let a fire truck and ambulance, both with blaring sirens, pass us by. I laid on the horn for about a block-and-a-half and shouted various obscenities at them. Assholes. The better half says I have a bad case of road rage, but I beg to differ. Yeah, I can lose my temper when I'm behind the wheel, but it's only at people who nearly inflict massive harm onto me by their negligence. If someone is driving the speed limit in the right-hand lane and I want to go faster, I don't get upset. If I did, I would consider that road rage. You are getting upset at someone for following the rules. Now if you were safely driving and some idiot decided to disregard your well being by pulling out in front of you despite having a yield sign, then I say you should be allowed to scare the shit out of them by laying on the horn and incessantly cursing. Hell, if you have something to throw out your car window, go ahead. If you freak that person out enough, perhaps they will think twice before putting someone else's life in jeopardy. You could be a hero.

For the new year, I'm going to be trying something different. Instead of waiting until the end of the day to post an entry, I'm gong to post whenever I feel like it throughout the day. When I "finalize" an entry, I will give it a title. 11 p.m. • Well, I guess Michigan can stop bitching about how they were Jewed out of playing for the BcS "National Title Game." • Dennis Green and Jim Mora Jr. got canned from their respective NFL head coaching gigs. You know, when I first heard a few years back that Green would be taking over the helm at Arizona I actually thought he would have have a chance at turning around that time. Then after five seconds my thoughts turned to something more plausible -- like establishing colonies on Mars. Regarding Mora, eh. • Years ago I bought these four-player checker and chess boards, and the few times I used them the games got REALLY confusing. I can't imagine a three-way with ping-pong balls would be much less chaotic. 5 p.m. Just heard Bobby Knight finally passed Dean Smith for most wins by a Division One college basketball coach. Good. I like Knight. Sure he's an asshole, but that's why I like him. 3 p.m. For those that follow my kkk Bowl IV contest, here are the regular-season standings. Final Standings AFC EAST * Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7 < PF: 119, PA: 111, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 5-1 > New York Jets (Gert T) 8-8 < PF: 113, PA: 112, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-4 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 7-8-1 < PF: 116, PA: 106, AFC: 3-8-1, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 1-5 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 5-11 < PF: 117, PA: 122, AFC: 4-8, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 4-2 > AFC NORTH * Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 12-4 < PF: 113, PA: 103, AFC: 10-2, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 5-1 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 8-7-1 < PF: 110, PA: 108, AFC: 6-5-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-3-1 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 7-8-1 < PF: 112, PA: 114, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-4-1 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 6-9-1 < PF: 109, PA: 127, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 3-3 > AFC SOUTH * Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-6 < PF: 111, PA: 110, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 4-2 > * Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 < PF: 123, PA: 113, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 3-3 > * Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 < PF: 118, PA: 123, AFC: 5-7, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 3-3 > Houston Texans (Bored) 7-9 < PF: 115, PA: 116, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 2-4 > AFC WEST * Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1 < PF: 118, PA: 111, AFC: 6-5-1 NFC: 3-1, DIV: 3-2-1 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 8-8 < PF: 127, PA: 120, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 4-2 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 8-8 < PF: 112, PA: 115, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-4 > San Diego Chargers (Porter) 7-8-1 < PF: 118, PA: 126, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-3-1 > NFC EAST * Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1 < PF: 123, PA: 116, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-3-1, DIV: 5-1 > New York Giants (Cartman) 7-9 < PF: 113, PA: 121, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 3-3 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 7-9 < PF: 103, PA: 113, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 2-4 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 5-11 < PF: 107, PA: 123, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 4-9, DIV: 3-3 > NFC NORTH * Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 11-5 < PF: 123, PA: 107, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 3-3 > * Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 < PF: 97, PA: 103, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-4, DIV: 5-1 > * Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 < PF: 123, PA: 112, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-4, DIV: 4-2 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 5-11 < PF: 103, PA: 120, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 2-10, DIV: 1-5 > NFC SOUTH * Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 12-4 < PF: 134, PA: 113, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 6-0 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 9-7 < PF: 125, PA: 119, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 3-3 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 6-9-1 < PF: 118, PA: 110, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 4-7-1, DIV: 2-4 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 5-11 < PF: 113, PA: 122 AFC: 2-2, NFC: 3-9, DIV: 1-5 > NFC WEST * Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8 < PF: 121, PA: 111, AFC: 1-3 NFC: 7-5, DIV: 5-1 > Seattle Seahawks (Chazz 1998) 8-8 < PF: 119, PA: 110, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 4-2 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 7-9 < PF: 125, PA: 119, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 4-8, DIV: 0-6 > San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 6-10 < PF: 106, PA: 122, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 5-7, DIV: 3-3 > PLAYOFF SEEDINGS: AFC: 1) Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 12-4 2) Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-6 3) Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1 4) Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7 5) Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 6) Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 Notes: IND and TEN split their regular-season series and have the same DIV record. IND gets the higher seed due to a better Conference record. Wild Card Weekend: Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 @ Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1 Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 @ Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7 NFC: 1) Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 12-4 2) Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 11-5 3) Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1 4) Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8 5) Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 6) Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 Notes: 1) GB and MIN split their regular-season series (I first thought MIN swept the series). GB has the better divisional record. 2) GB and MIN both have a better Conference record than TB. 3) AZ and SEA split their regular-season series. AZ has the better divisional record. Wild Card Weekend: Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 @ Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1 Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 @ Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8

(2.5) N.Y. Giants at Washington Atlanta at Philadelphia (7.5) Buffalo at Baltimore (9.5) (2.5) Carolina at New Orleans Cleveland at Houston (4.5) Detroit at Dallas (12.5) Green Bay at Chicago (2.5) Jacksonville at Kansas City (2.5) Miami at Indianapolis (9.5) New England at Tennessee (3.5) Oakland at N.Y. Jets (12.5) Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (6.5) Seattle at Tampa Bay (3.5) (2.5) St. Louis at Minnesota Arizona at San Diego (13.5) San Francisco at Denver (10.5) N.Y. Giants (Cartman 7-9) defeated Washington (Human Fly 7-9) 12-8 NYG: NYG/ATL/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/GB/KC/MIA/NE/OAK/CIN/SEA/STL/AZ/SF/28 WAS: NYG/PHI/BUF/NO/HOU/DAL/CHI/KC/IND/NE/NYJ/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/SF/17 DIFF: ATL/PHI, DET/DAL, GB/CHI, MIA/IND, OAK/NYJ, AZ/SD, 28/17 Atlanta (King of the 909 12-4) defeated by Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 9-6-1) 7-7 + TB ATL: WAS/PHI/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/GB/JAX/IND/NE/OAK/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/SF/7 PHI: WAS/PHI/BUF/NO/CLE/DET/CHI/KC/MIA/NE/OAK/CIN/SEA/MIN/AZ/SF/27 DIFF: HOU/CLE, GB/CHI, JAX/KC, IND/MIA, STL/MIN, SD/AZ, 7/27 Buffalo (Bob Barron 9-7) defeated by Baltimore (King PK 7-8-1) 7-9 BUF: NYG/ATL/BAL/NO/CLE/DAL/CHI/JAX/IND/NE/NYJ/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/DEN/13 BAL: WAS/PHI/BUF/CAR/HOU/DAL/CHI/JAX/MIA/NE/NYJ/PIT/SEA/STL/AZ/DEN/21 DIFF: NYG/WAS, ATL/PHI, BAL/BUF, NO/CAR, CLE/HOU, IND/MIA, CIN/PIT, SD/AZ, 13/21 Carolina (Fazzle 5-11) defeated by New Orleans (Cena’s Writer 6-9-1) 4-10 CAR: WAS/PHI/BAL/NO/HOU/DAL/CHI/KC/IND/TEN/NYJ/CIN/TB/MIN/SD/DEN/EP NO: NYG/ATL/BAL/NO/CLE/DAL/CHI/KC/IND/NE/NYJ/CIN/SEA/STL/AZ/SF/XX DIFF: WAS/NYG, PHI/ATL, HOU/CLE, TEN/NE, TB/SEA, MIN/STL, SD/AZ, DEN/SF, EP/XX Cleveland (SFA Jack 12-4) defeated Houston (Bored 7-9) 7-5 CLE: WAS/PHI/BUF/NO/HOU/DAL/CHI/KC/MIA/NE/NYJ/CIN/SEA/MIN/SD/SF/12 HOU: NYG/PHI/BAL/NO/CLE/DAL/CHI/JAX/IND/NE/NYJ/CIN/SEA/MIN/SD/DEN/20 DIFF: WAS/NYG, BUF/BAL, HOU/CLE, KC/JAX, MIA/IND, SF/DEN, 12/20 Detroit (Bravesfan 11-5) defeated Dallas (Hawk34 5-11) 9-5 DET: NYG/PHI/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/CHI/KC/MIA/TEN/NYJ/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/SF/13 DAL: WAS/PHI/BUF/NO/HOU/DAL/GB/KC/IND/TEN/OAK/CIN/SEA/MIN/SD/SF/56 DIFF: NYG/WAS, DET/DAL, CHI/GB, MIA/IND, NYJ/OAK, STL/MIN, 13/56 Green Bay (Vitamin X 9-7) defeated Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 5-11) 7-4 GB: WAS/PHI/BAL/NO/HOU/DAL/GB/JAX/MIA/TEN/OAK/PIT/SEA/STL/SD/DEN/20 CHI: XX/PHI/BAL/NO/HOU/DAL/CHI/KC/IND/TEN/OAK/PIT/TB/MIN/SD/DEN/EP DIFF: GB/CHI, JAX/KC, MIA/IND, SEA/TB, STL/MIN Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 10-6) defeated by Kansas City (Alfdogg 9-6-1) 5-10 JAX: WAS/PHI/BUF/CAR/HOU/DAL/CHI/JAX/IND/NE/OAK/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/DEN/24 KC: WAS/PHI/BUF/CAR/HOU/DET/GB/KC/IND/NE/OAK/CIN/SEA/STL/AZ/SF/21 DIFF: DAL/DET, CHI/GB, JAX/KC, SD/AZ, DEN/SF Miami (Spaceman Spiff 5-11) defeated by Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 9-7) 8-9 MIA: WAS/PHI/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/CHI/KC/IND/NE/NYJ/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/SF/16 IND: NYG/ATL/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/CHI/JAX/MIA/NE/OAK/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/SF/20 DIFF: WAS/NYG, PHI/ATL, KC/JAX, IND/MIA, NYJ/OAK New England (nl-asshole 7-8-1) defeated by Tennessee (Cuban Linx 9-7) 8-9 NE: NYG/PHI/BAL/NO/HOU/DAL/CHI/JAX/IND/NE/NYJ/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/SF/27 TENN: WAS/ATL/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/CHI/KC/MIA/TEN/OAK/PIT/SEA/STL/SD/SF/21 DIFF: NYG/WAS, PHI/ATL, BAL/BUF, DAL/DET, JAX/KC, IND/MIA, NE/TEN, NYJ/OAK, CIN/PIT Oakland (Smues 8-8) defeated by N.Y. Jets (Gert T 8-8) 5-11 OAK: WAS/PHI/BUF/NO/CLE/DET/CHI/KC/IND/NE/OAK/CIN/SEA/STL/DEN/13 NYJ: WAS/ATL/BAL/CAR/CLE/DET/CHI/KC/IND/NE/NYJ/PIT/SEA/STL/SD/SF/24 DIFF: PHI/ATL, BUF/BAL/NO/CAR/OAK/NYJ, CIN/PIT, DEN/SF, 13/24 Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 8-7-1) defeated Cincinnati (Teke 6-9-1) 8-5 PIT: WAS/PHI/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/GB/KC/IND/NE/NYJ/PIT/TB/MIN/SD/SF/31 CIN: WAS/PHI/BAL/NO/HOU/DET/CHI/JAX/MIA/TEN/OAK/CIN/TB/STL/SD/DEN/31 DIFF: BUF/BAL, GB/CHI, KC/JAX, IND/MIA, NE/TEN, NYJ/OAK, PIT/CIN, MIN/STL, SF/DEN Seattle (Chazz 1998 8-8) defeated Tampa Bay (Starvenger 9-7) 12-10 SEA: WAS/ATL/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/GB/KC/MIA/NE/OAK/PIT/SEA/STL/AZ/SF/27 TB: NYG/ATL/BUF/CAR/HOU/DET/CHI/KC/MIA/TEN/OAK/CIN/TB/STL/AZ/SF/9 DIFF: WAS/NYG, NO/CAR, GB/CHI, NE/TEN, PIT/CIN, SEA/TB, 27/9 St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 7-9) defeated Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 9-7) 12-11 STL: NYG/ATL/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/GB/KC/IND/NE/OAK/PIT/SEA/STL/AZ/SF/20 MIN: WAS/ATL/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/CHI/KC/MIA/NE/OAK/PIT/SEA/STL/AZ/SF/22 DIFF: NYG/WAS, GB/CHI, IND/MIA Arizona (Vern Gagne 8-8) defeated by San Diego (Porter 7-8-1) 8-10 AZ: WAS/ATL/BAL/NO/HOU/DAL/CHI/JAX/IND/NE/OAK/PIT/SEA/STL/AZ/DEN/18 SD: NYG/PHI/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/CHI/KC/IND/NE/OAK/PIT/SEA/STL/AZ/SF/24 DIFF: WAS/NYG, ATL/PHI, BAL/BUF, DAL/DET, JAX/KC, DEN/SF, 18/24 San Francisco (Lightning Flik 7-9) defeated Denver (Canadian Chris 8-8) 9-8 SF: NYG/ATL/BUF/NO/HOU/DET/GB/JAX/MIA/TEN/OAK/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/SF/17 DEN: NYG/PHI/BAL/NO/HOU/DAL/CHI/KC/IND/NE/NYJ/CIN/SEA/STL/SD/DEN/26 DIFF: ATL/PHI, BUF/BAL, DET/DAL, GB/CHI, JAX/KC, MIA/IND, TEN/NE, OAK/NYJ, SF/DEN

Final Standings AFC EAST * Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7 < PF: 119, PA: 111, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 5-1 > New York Jets (Gert T) 8-8 < PF: 113, PA: 112, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-4 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 7-8-1 < PF: 116, PA: 106, AFC: 3-8-1, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 1-5 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 5-11 < PF: 117, PA: 122, AFC: 4-8, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 4-2 > AFC NORTH * Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 12-4 < PF: 113, PA: 103, AFC: 10-2, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 5-1 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 8-7-1 < PF: 110, PA: 108, AFC: 6-5-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-3-1 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 7-8-1 < PF: 112, PA: 114, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-4-1 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 6-9-1 < PF: 109, PA: 127, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 3-3 > AFC SOUTH * Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-6 < PF: 111, PA: 110, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 4-2 > * Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 < PF: 123, PA: 113, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 3-3 > * Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 < PF: 118, PA: 123, AFC: 5-7, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 3-3 > Houston Texans (Bored) 7-9 < PF: 115, PA: 116, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 2-4 > AFC WEST * Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1 < PF: 118, PA: 111, AFC: 6-5-1 NFC: 3-1, DIV: 3-2-1 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 8-8 < PF: 127, PA: 120, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 4-2 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 8-8 < PF: 112, PA: 115, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-4 > San Diego Chargers (Porter) 7-8-1 < PF: 118, PA: 126, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-3-1 > NFC EAST * Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1 < PF: 123, PA: 116, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-3-1, DIV: 5-1 > New York Giants (Cartman) 7-9 < PF: 113, PA: 121, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 3-3 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 7-9 < PF: 103, PA: 113, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 2-4 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 5-11 < PF: 107, PA: 123, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 4-9, DIV: 3-3 > NFC NORTH * Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 11-5 < PF: 123, PA: 107, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 3-3 > * Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 < PF: 97, PA: 103, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-4, DIV: 5-1 > * Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 < PF: 123, PA: 112, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-4, DIV: 4-2 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 5-11 < PF: 103, PA: 120, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 2-10, DIV: 1-5 > NFC SOUTH * Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 12-4 < PF: 134, PA: 113, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 6-0 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 9-7 < PF: 125, PA: 119, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 3-3 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 6-9-1 < PF: 118, PA: 110, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 4-7-1, DIV: 2-4 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 5-11 < PF: 113, PA: 122 AFC: 2-2, NFC: 3-9, DIV: 1-5 > NFC WEST * Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8 < PF: 121, PA: 111, AFC: 1-3 NFC: 7-5, DIV: 5-1 > Seattle Seahawks (Chazz 1998) 8-8 < PF: 119, PA: 110, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 4-2 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 7-9 < PF: 125, PA: 119, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 4-8, DIV: 0-6 > San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 6-10 < PF: 106, PA: 122, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 5-7, DIV: 3-3 > PLAYOFF SEEDINGS: AFC: 1) Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 12-4 2) Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-6 3) Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1 4) Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7 5) Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 6) Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 Notes: IND and TEN split their regular-season series and have the same DIV record. IND gets the higher seed due to a better Conference record. Wild Card Weekend: Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 @ Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1 Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 @ Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7 NFC: 1) Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 12-4 2) Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 11-5 3) Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1 4) Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8 5) Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 6) Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 Notes: 1) GB and MIN split their regular-season series (I first thought MIN swept the series). GB has the better divisional record. 2) GB and MIN both have a better Conference record than TB. 3) AZ and SEA split their regular-season series. AZ has the better divisional record. Wild Card Weekend: Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 @ Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1 Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 @ Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8 The Postseason Thread should be up sometime tomrrow.

Well, 2006 is almost at an end and many people go out to celebrate the upcoming new year. I am not one of those people. New Year’s Eve never appealed to me, especially with all the drunken idiots out there. For years the better half and I have just stayed home and watched some movies. Speaking of movies, I saw “Glory Road” the other day. It was there. If you liked “Remember the Titans” (and I did), and if you like college basketball, then you’ll like “Glory Road.” One thing I never understood about these kinds of films – why is it the whites always end up acting like the black people in order to be “cool”? Fuck that shit. Us crackers can get down with the jiggiest of them. Well, OK, maybe not. But our hair isn’t as nappy. Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah. New Year’s Eve. This is the time of year that many people reflect upon their lives and vow to make drastic changes to supposedly improve themselves. Like the December 31 partygoers, I am not one of these people. However, last year I did make resolution to start putting money away. After spending the last few years buying a house and paying for my wedding, it was time to build up that nest egg. Then earlier this year the better half told me that her financial problems were out of control. Since then I have taken control of the household finances, and so far we’re a little less than half-way to paying off her credit card debt, which isn’t too bad, considering she went through an employment change this year and for a little more than three months was making considerably less than she had been. Other than this issue, I don’t see any problems on the horizon for ’07. Hopefully, this debt I talked about can get erased by the end of 2007, but if it takes until early ’08 then I will be more than content. Getting back to New Year’s Eve. I’m trying to think back to any wacky stories that I was involved in on previous December 31sts, but all that I’m coming up with were a few years when, as a kid, I went all-night bowling with my old man and some other people – a step-brother one year, a few friends the next, some people that I never saw before. Each time the old man got pissed off over something stupid and the night usually ended up with someone screaming or one of our “guests” destroying property (one kid bowled a ball into a plant container – don’t ask). There was another year, when I was of college age, when me and a few friends got stood up by this one chick who was supposed to give us directions to this party she was at, but instead she got drunk and forgot about us (or at least that’s how the story went). Hell, for the big 2000 celebration, I was living at Sappy Valley and watched the festivities in my apartment because Mrs. kkk was at her part-time food-service job. Even if she didn’t have to work that night, it really wouldn’t have mattered because I had to go to my job a few hours afterward for my 3-11 a.m. shift. That morning’s work was interesting because a graphic artist discovered that our organization wasn’t “Y2K” compliant. It wasn’t a big deal – some automated forms were dated 1/1/1900 rather than 1/1/2000, but it was still good for a laugh. Well, that’s about it for 2006. See you all NEXT YEAR LOL2006(7)~!!!!!

I have no idea who won/lost today -- I'll post results on New Year's Day.

Deadline has come and gone: CAR and CHI will be using EPs.

I had the Georgia/V. Tech game in the background last night and was all happy because I thought I had picked the Bulldogs.

Ew. Well, on the bright side, at least Kotz will finally get some pussy.

Trammell?

Out of curiosity, is there anyone that passes the Bored HOF Challenge?

Deadline for Saturday's game has come and gone.

Oh righty. Let’s see if I can end the regular season on a positive note. (2.5) N.Y. Giants at Washington The Giants still have a shot at the playoffs. From NFL.com: I’ll make it easy. Redskins win, Tiki’s dreams of a Bettis-like sendoff get dashed and everyone can blame the coach. Atlanta at Philadelphia (7.5) The Falcons still have a shot at the playoffs. From NFL.com: I’ll make this easy. The Falcons will lose. But will they lose by a big amount? I’ll say no. Buffalo at Baltimore (9.5) The Ravens still have a shot at claiming home-field advantage, and even though they’ll probably win, I’ll give the Bills a fighting chance. (2.5) Carolina at New Orleans The Panthers are still in the playoff hunt, but I still have that bad taste a few weeks back against the Steelers where they quit, so I’ll say go Saints. Cleveland at Houston (4.5) No playoff talk here. Houston will probably win, but will they win by four-and-a-half points? Sure. Detroit at Dallas (12.5) I hope the Cowboys get up by 10 and then put it in cruse control. Green Bay at Chicago (2.5) The Packers can clinch a playoff. From NFL.com: But the Bears will win and ruin what could possibly be BRETT FAVRE’S FINAL REGULAR-SEASON NFL GAME. Jacksonville at Kansas City (2.5) Both teams need this win to bolster their playoff chances. Will the Chiefs lost two home games in December in the same season? I’m going with history on this one. Miami at Indianapolis (9.5) After that Houston loss, now I’d say it’s panic time for the Colts. Then again, maybe this “nothing-to-lose” mindset going into the playoffs might be good for Indianapolis. New England at Tennessee (3.5) Will this second-half-of-the-season rally stop here for the Titans? I’ll be a party pooper and say yes. Oakland at N.Y. Jets (12.5) I’ll say the Jets will win, but not by a dozen points. Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (6.5) For all the crap the Steelers have gone through this season, to finish 8-8 will be much better than 7-9. However, I have to imagine the Bengals will be out for blood after what happened the last time the Bengals hosted the Steelers. Seattle at Tampa Bay (3.5) Even though Seattle has clinched the NFC West, that’s not saying much. I’m sure they would like end the season on a winning note before trying to make it back to the Super Bowl. (2.5) St. Louis at Minnesota The Rams can clinch a playoff spot, according to NFL.com, if the following happens. I’ll say why not. Arizona at San Diego (13.5) Wow. I’m sure the Chargers will win, but will they win by that big a margin? Hopefully, the Chargers’ second unit will be able to trounce the Cardinals’ starters. San Francisco at Denver (10.5) The Broncos will probably win, but the 49ers will make it a game.

• Well they say Famous deaths always come in threes. First was James Brown. Next was Gerald Ford. Who will be number three? Saddam Hussein? Then again, that Peter Boyle hippie might have been number one in this trio. Who knows. Regarding the death of Ford, I never paid much attention to his presidency. I remember hearing on Rush’s show once some sub-host (either Tony Snow or Michael Medved) said he had the most vetos of any four-year president. He pardoned Nixon and lost to that doofus Jimmy Carter. He also played football. That’s all I got. • Interesting. We named our most recent kitty acquisition Max, and there’s a weiner dog named Max that lives across from us. Interesting note: last winter (or was it two winters ago?) I was watching my Max looking out our front-door window and he had that look whenever a cat sees something outside like a bird or a bug. I looked out the window to see what caught his eye, and it was Max romping about outside. Suddenly, this stupid dog ran in front of a moving car, and for a second I thought I was going to witness the premature end to the neighborhoods dachshund. Forturnatly, the car wasn’t speeding and was able to stop before hitting the dog. Had this vehicle killed Max, I wouldn’t have blamed the driver for this one. I let the neighbors know of what had happened and unfortunately for Max he now spends most of his outside time on a leash next to his bigger canine companion. It’s a shame, too, because it was fun to throw snowballs at him as I went to get the mail and he did his pseudo-charge at me that would switch into to a full-fledged retreat the moment I turned around to face the ravenous beast. There were also times I remember Max romping about in my yard, and even up to my front door, much to the chagrin of my three kids. Oh, yeah. Here’s the story that prompted me to type the above paragraph:

I should have said "one-term," but we weren't just fighting commies overseas. Like I said, I'm not sure if there was a "record" or anything like that; this was just an off-handed comment I heard on a RIGHT-WING RADIO show 10+ years ago.

If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, chances are you know my opinion toward Division I-A College Football and the whole BcS system. From my 10/16 entry: But even though I don’t care for college football, I do care about my fellow TSM brethren. When Bored needed an extra participant for this year’s college football pick ‘em contest, I was more than happy to oblige. I mean, it’s only a minute or so out of my busy week to PM him each week’s picks. Well a funny thing happened; I managed to scrap and claw my way to the Meow Mix Pussy Bowl up against my hated rival Kotz. Well, maybe not “hated rival,” but I know he won’t be inviting me over for dinner anytime soon. I figured because I post all my NFL selections, why not include this year’s bowl games? Please note that I have spent zero time actually thinking about these selections, which is how I approached my selections for Bored’s contest. Now if USC is playing California Christian Academy Tech in Week 1, then I’m going with the Trojans. But for just about anything else, I’m completely in the dark, which in many cases would probably be the best way to pick games. I have no idea which teams have already won, nor do I really care. I’ll probably do a recap after the BcS game to see how good (or bad) I did. Oh, and Papajohns.com Bowl? Insight Bowl? Meineke Car Care Bowl? International Bowl with Cincinnati vs. Western Michigan on January 6? The hell? December 19th Poinsettia: TCU vs. Northern Illinois December 21st Las Vegas: BYU vs. Oregon December 22nd New Orleans: Troy vs. Rice December 23rd Papajohns.com: South Florida vs. East Carolina New Mexico: New Mexico vs. San Jose State Armed Forces: Tulsa vs. Utah December 24th Hawaii: Arizona State vs. Hawaii December 26th Motor City: Middle Tennessee vs. Central Michigan December 27th Emerald: Florida State vs. UCLA December 28th Independence: Oklahoma State vs. Alabama Holiday: California vs. Texas A&M Texas: Rutgers vs. Kansas State December 29th Music City: Clemson vs. Kentucky Sun: Oregon State vs. Missouri Liberty: Houston vs. South Carolina Insight: Texas Tech vs. Minnesota Champs Sports: Purdue vs. Maryland December 30th Meineke Car Care: Navy vs. Boston College Alamo: Texas vs. Iowa Chick-fil-A: Georgia vs. Virginia Tech December 31st MPC Computers: Miami vs. Nevada January 1st Outback: Tennessee vs. Penn State Cotton: Auburn vs. Nebraska Gator: West Virginia vs. Georgia Tech Capital One: Arkansas vs. Wisconsin Rose: USC vs. Michigan Fiesta: Boise State vs. Oklahoma January 2nd Orange: Louisville vs. Wake Forest January 3rd Sugar: Notre Dame vs. LSU January 6th International: Cincinnati vs. Western Michigan January 7th GMAC: Ohio vs. Southern Miss January 8th BCS Championship: Florida vs. Ohio State

Maybe the ringing was throwing off his mojo.

I might disagree with a number of bannings that go on at this place, but I have no problem with the mods.