kkktookmybabyaway

I think winning more games will help you more, teke.

What country doesn't hate Jews?

Deadline is long gone. Danville is using EPs.

Let's see if this week I can match up the teams I pick to win/cover with what I actually say beneath each game. (5.5) Atlanta at Detroit The Falcons upset the Bengals last week, and I'm a little wary of them having one of those “letdown” games. Good thing they’re playing the Lions this week, or I’d be more worried about that 5.5 spread. Cincinnati at Baltimore (3.5) I’ve been going back and forth with this one. You’ve got Cincinnati’s offense versus Baltimore’s defense. Whenever there’s a matchup like this, I usually flip the roles and compare the other units for this game (well that sounded a little gay). So, how will Baltimore’s offense matchup against Cincinnati’s defense? Hmm, I’ll go with the Ravens, although I don’t like that point spread. (3.5) Dallas at Washington The Redskins have been a schizophrenic team this year, and this is a divisional contest on their home field. However, the Cowboys impressively beat the Panthers last week on the road and defeated the Redskins earlier this year, so I’ll give Dallas the benefit of the doubt in this matchup. Green Bay at Buffalo (3.5) At the end of this season the Packers will probably look vastly improved from last year’s dismal effort. This is because they are beating crappy teams on their schedule. Shit, my first instinct was going with Green Bay, but now I’m starting to lean toward Buffalo. I better skip to the next entry before I change my mind 20 times on this one. Houston at N.Y. Giants (13.5) I’m sure the Giants will win this game, but will it be by two touchdowns? They’re playing the Texans. They’re playing at home. I’ll go with the G-men this week. Kansas City at St. Louis (2.5) The Rams have a nice home-field advantage, but I think this is more of a must-win situation for the Chiefs. Ah, shit. I heard some ESPN guy say the same thing earlier this week. Miami at Chicago (13.5) If I’m going with the Giants with the same spread, I’ll take the Bears, too. However, when Chicago went 15-1 back in 1985, weren’t the Dolphins the only team to hand them a defeat? (1.5) New Orleans at Tampa Bay If the point spread was any higher, I would have went with the Buccaneers. However, because the difference is only a point-and-a-half, I’ll see if New Orleans can make it a season sweep from Tampa Bay. Tennessee at Jacksonville (9.5) Jacksonville lost to Houston two weeks ago and beat Philadelphia last week. Which Jaguars team will show up this week? I don’t know, but Tennessee beat Houston last week, so I’ll go with the Titans to try and keep this game close. (5.5) Minnesota at San Francisco The Vikings got beat by the Patriots on Monday night, so will this be a game where they’re going to take out their frustrations on an inferior team, or will the 49ers be able to sneak one by Minnesota? Well, San Francisco has been manhandled by good teams as of late. I’ll opt for the “sneak win/close game” this week, although I’m starting to get flashbacks of that horrid performance at Kansas City from earlier this year. However, every week can't be a 40-0 defeat for San Francisco, can it? Cleveland at San Diego (12.5) The Chargers are much like the Bears in the sense that when they play teams that they should beat, they do a good job of it. Denver at Pittsburgh (2.5) Wait a second. The Steelers are FAVORED in this one? Something’s up. Sure Roethlisberger had his best game as a pro in last year’s AFC Conference Championship game against the Broncos, but to be favored by two-and-a-half points? Something tells me the upcoming election isn't the only thing rigged this week. Indianapolis at New England (3.5) Whenever you have a matchup where one team has had a history of defeating the other one, I generally go with the team that has won more times than lost. However, I’m going against the grain with this one. Just because. Oakland at Seattle (7.5) If memory serves, Shaun Alexander has a field day with the Raiders. Problem is he’s not playing in this game. No matter. I’ll still take the Seahawks at home against the Raiders on Sunday night. While I’m on the subject of football, let me say that I don't like the idea of allowing headsets into the helmets of offensive players other than the quarterback. Sure it’ll cut down on the number of penalties, such as false starts, but crowd noise is part of the game. I remember when headsets were put into the helmets of quarterbacks, and there was some grumbling back then. However, the quarterback is the offensive field general; I’ll give these guys a pass. The fans pay a lot of money to attend these games – let them do their best to give their hometown team an edge by trying to vocally rattle the opposing team.

Put me in the camp that doesn't get Borat's appeal. I will say, however, that I do like "Throw the Jew Down the Well."

So I was surfing through the Free Movie selection from my Comcast On Demand service, and I came across a gem that I had forgotten all about -- Alien Nation. No, it’s not about Mexicans. It’s about these space people that find their way to earth and are trying to fit in. While this was pretty much a “buddy cop” movie between an earthling and one of aliens, it was interesting to see how a number of the newcomers tried to mesh with human society. This film spawned a TV series on FOX back in the late 1980s, of which I regularly watched. I don’t remember much of the television series other than the series ended on a rather sad cliffhanger. (I heard there was another movie made after the TV series, but I’m not certain.) I remember watching this show for a few years, and to have it end (if memory serves) with some humans plotting a mass extermination was kind of a bummer. There is another memory from the television show that I do remember, and that is when the human cop tells his alien partner about some of the greatest baseball squads of all time, and one of the teams he makes a reference to was a futuristic Pirates team from the mid-1990s. Wow, this really was a fictional program. But I digress. As I watched this movie again (I also saw it years ago, but didn’t remember anything plot-wise), I was reminded of all the things about the television show that for some reason I found entertaining (and still do). The aliens giving themselves “goofy” names (the alien cop in this movie was named “Sam Francisco”), aliens getting drunk off of sour milk and their fear of salt water because it was the equivalent of acid to their touch (which begged the question why these people would settle next to the Pacific Ocean). I also liked the cross-cultural references such as this one involving the human cop, named Matthew Sykes, goofing on Sam’s name, to which Sam replies, “I'm sure it doesn't bother you at all that (your last name) sounds like "ss'ai k'ss," two words in my language which mean "excrement" and "cranium … Shithead.” For some reason, I looked up what Roger Ebert said about this movie, and for all the crap he awards three/four stars, I was surprised he only gave this film two stars. Here’s an excerpt from his mostly negative review: N*gga plz. One reason I liked this movie is because it didn’t deal with any of that shit, although I did notice a few references to (d), which didn’t detract from the film at all. There’s only 90 minutes to flush out a story, and if (b) or (c ) would have been used it probably would have been poorly done. Oh, and the Newcomers were concealing something; the effects of that narcotic the big bad guy in this movie was trying to move out onto the alien masses (go watch the movie if you don’t know what I’m talking about). On a side note, when I was scanning the other available free movies I came across a SPECIAL EDITION of Dances with Wolves with more than ONE HOUR of extra footage. OK, even though this film is about the hippie Indians and how the evil white man drove them from their land and all that other shit, I still like this movie. However, do we really need an extra hour added to this film, whose theatrical version is already three hours long?

Citi (Mastercard): $3900 limit Discover: $6500 limit Chase (Visa): $6800 limit Chase (Mastercard): $11,000 limit Also have Kohls and Sears cards -- I have no idea what my limit on those are though and I'm too lazy to look.

• This ain't going to be pretty. Arizona at Green Bay (3.5). Correct. This was a gimmie game. However, with my record so far this season I will take all the easy ones I can get. Atlanta at Cincinnati (4.5). Incorrect. Ah, shit. Here’s what I said when predicting this game: But the Bengals are in boldface. Whatever should I do? Well, I go with the bolded team. Goddamnit. The funny thing is I don’t even remember making this week’s picks. I’m almost afraid to look at the rest of these selections. Baltimore at New Orleans (2.5). Incorrect I was right. Kinda. Houston at Tennessee (3.5). Incorrect Well, I was right when I said while predicting this game that “I have no clue.” Jacksonville at Philadelphia (6.5). Incorrect. This ain’t good. Seattle at Kansas City (6.5). Correct. Christ, and the Chiefs only covered by half-a-point. San Francisco at Chicago (16.5). Correct. Hooray for Chicago. When they play crappy teams they can sure beat the hell out of them. Tampa Bay at N.Y. Giants (9.5). Incorrect. What a great time for the Bucs to let a team walk all over them. Faggots. St. Louis at San Diego (9.5). Correct The hell? Here’s what I said when predicting this matchup. Yet I had the Bolts in boldface. Indianapolis at Denver (2.5). Incorrect. Depending on how the Colts play against the Patriots, I think this just might be their year. N.Y. Jets at Cleveland (1.5). Incorrect. What the hell? Here was my prediction line regarding this game: Well, at least I was right in my statement. (9.5) Pittsburgh at Oakland. Correct. I feel bad for Ben Roethlisberger because I felt he should have never been out on the field this week. The Steelers defense gave up only six points and Ben threw two touchdown passes for the other team. I hope he can rebound from this shitty year, not to mention that off-season from hell. I always liked Ben because he was one of those quarterbacks that just had “it.” Now you need to add a “sh” to the start of that word. Hopefully it’s only for this season. Dallas at Carolina (5.5). Incorrect. And the Panthers will have two weeks to stew about this stinker. (2.5) New England at Minnesota. Correct. I watched the first part of this game and when Johnson threw that interception near the end zone, I knew the Vikings were doomed. This week’s record: 6-8. Cumulative record: 53-61 I was only two games under .500 this week? Hell, I’ll take it. • In other sports news. The Pirates, much to the surprise of the baseball world, passed on picking up the $6 million option on outfielder Jeremy Burnitz. Oh, and the Penguins are 7-3 with Evgeni Malkin scoring seven goals in his first six games. I’m hoping the Pens have a good season so that way all the city so-called leaders can look like even bigger schmucks than they do already when this young team heads off to a city that actually has a decent arena for them to play in. For those that don’t know, Malkin was the Pens’ top draft pick in 2004, but thanks in part to the recent NHL lockout he signed with some Russian team. During the off-season, Malkin defected and there is a brouhaha going on between the Russian team and the NHL. I doubt he’ll be able to keep up this torrid goal-scoring pace through a grueling 80+ game season, but if Malkin can stick it to city officials who don’t give a shit about their NHL franchise and also give the bird to his old Russian team, then I might just have to go get his jersey or something. Actually, I think I’ll wait until the Pens end up in Kansas City, Portland or Seattle before buying ol’ “71.” Oh who am I kidding? I’ve only purchased one jersey in my life and that was more than 10 years ago.

And this is why my three kids stay indoors, although none of them are German Shepards.

• So John Kerry, who at one time served in Vietnam, recently said the following to some students. Later on he said he was talking about the Bush Administration or something and that this line was nothing more than a botched joke. Botched joke? Well, I did find it rather funny. And for all the commies saying, “But he was talking about Bush and not the troops; stop being such a smear merchant,” shut the fuck up. Just grin and bear it – that’s what I do a lot of the time when W. opens his mouth. I must say that for as funny as Kerry’s remark was, it wasn’t as good as Dick Turban’s comment a while back about how not having enough air conditioning on (or turning it up too much) in a suspected terrorist’s cell was just like how the Nazis did their business back in the day. Awesome. But now I'm starting to wonder if this whole thing wasn't pre-mediated. All day I've been hearing about how Democrats are now saying they don't want him attending their campaign rallies, and a few are even adding that his remarks were stupid and that he should apologize. Among those Democrats saying this are senatorial candidates in close races in Tennessee and Montana. Hmmm. Have some commie lib make a stupid remark and let those Dems in close elections try to show that they actually like this country by dissing their Vietnam hero, thus drawing some moderate fence-sitters onto their side in next week's elections. I actually have to applaud the mastermind who came up with this plan. Good job. One final note. If Kerry really wanted to bring the house down, he would have substituted "end up in Iraq" with "end up waiting for the government to rescue you from an approaching hurricane with school buses that will never leave the nearby parking lot." • While I’m in a political mood, here is reason #3240 why I hate polls. Last night I was flipping through channels and saw CNN with their recent poll showing Bob Corker, the Republican senatorial candidate in Tennessee, with an 8-point lead. A few seconds later, I saw on MSNBC that Harold Ford Jr., the Democrat candidate from the same state, had a 4-point lead. • There’s a local race in my neck of the woods that has gotten rather amusing. There’s this Republican chick, Melissa Hart, battling some commie faggot, and this race is pretty close. The commie has started airing ads on the local RIGHT-WING RADIO station and is pimping the fact that MELISSA HART votes with GEORGE W. BUSH AND RICK SANTORUM 98 PERCENT OF THE TIME. Uh, OK. The commie faggot then adds that he SUPPORTS INCREASING THE MINIMUM WAGE. Uh, OK. Also, the liberal fishwrap known as the Shittsburgh Post-Gazette endorses this commie faggot. Talk about ad money well spent. Oh and in this ad there was also something about Hart RAIDING THE SOCIAL SECURITY TRUST FUND. I always get a good laugh whenever that line is whipped out. • Ha. Drew Brees’ mom is running for some judge position and is using her son in her ads. The son wants these ads pulled. And their relationship “crumbled” when she wasn't hired to be his agent. Oy. • So the Miami Heat won last year’s NBA title, and how do they start the new season? By losing to the Chicago Bulls 66-108. Oh well, even they would have lost 107-108 it still counts as one loss.

Arizona at Green Bay (3.5) Atlanta at Cincinnati (4.5) Baltimore at New Orleans (2.5) Houston at Tennessee (3.5) Jacksonville at Philadelphia (6.5) Seattle at Kansas City (6.5) San Francisco at Chicago (16.5) Tampa Bay at N.Y. Giants (9.5) St. Louis at San Diego (9.5) Indianapolis at Denver (2.5) N.Y. Jets at Cleveland (1.5) (9.5) Pittsburgh at Oakland Dallas at Carolina (5.5) (2.5) New England at Minnesota Open date: Buffalo, Detroit, Miami, Washington Arizona (Vern Gagne 4-4) defeated by Green Bay (Vitamin X 5-2) 5-6 AZ: GB/ATL/NO/TEN/JAX/SEA/SF/TB/STL/DEN/CLE/PIT/CAR/MIN/20 GB: GB/ATL/BAL/HOU/JAX/SEA/CHI/TB/STL/DEN/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/31 DIFF: NO/BAL, TEN/HOU, SF/CHI, CLE/NYJ, MIN/NE Alanta (King of the 909 6-1) defeated Cincinnati (Teke 3-3-1) 10-6 ATL: GB/ATL/NO/TEN/JAX/KC/CHI/NYG/STL/IND/CLE/PIT/CAR/NE/20 CIN: GB/ATL/NO/HOU/PHI/KC/CHI/TB/SD/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/MIN/21 DIFF: TEN/HOU, JAX/PHI, NYG/TB, STL/SD, CLE/NYJ, NE/MIN, 20/21 Baltimore (King PK 3-4) defeated by New Orleans (Cena’s Writer 2-4-1) 5-5+TB BAL: GB/CIN/NO/HOU/JAX/KC/SF/NYG/SD/DEN/NYJ/PIT/CAR/MIN/20 NO: GB/CIN/NO/HOU/JAX/SEA/SF/NYG/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/21 DIFF: KC/SEA, SD/STL, DEN/IND, MIN/NE, 20/21 Houston (Bored 3-4) defeated Tennessee (Cuban Linx 4-3) 8-6 HOU: GB/ATL/NO/TEN/JAX/KC/CHI/NYG/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/MIN/14 TEN: GB/ATL/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/TB/SD/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/MIN/20 DIFF: JAX/PHI, KC/SEA, NYG/TB, STL/SD, 14/20 Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 5-2) defeated Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 4-3-1) 7-6 JAX: GB/ATL/NO/TEN/JAX/SEA/SF/NYG/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/16 PHI: GB/ATL/NO/HOU/JAX/SEA/SF/TB/STL/IND/NYJ/OAK/CAR/NE/20 DIFF: TEN/HOU, NYG/TB, PIT/OAK Seattle (C Dubya 3-4) defeated by Kansas City (Alfdogg 6-1) 5-5+TB SEA: GB/CIN/NO/TEN/PHI/KC/SF/TB/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/14 KC: GB/CIN/NO/TEN/PHI/KC/CHI/TB/STL/DEN/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/31 DIFF: SF/CHI, IND/DEN, 14/31 San Francisco (Lightning Flik 2-5) defeated Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 1-6) 4-4+TB SF: GB/CIN/NO/HOU/PHI/KC/SF/TB/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/17 CHI: GB/CIN/NO/HOU/PHI/KC/SF/TB/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/30 DIFF: 17/30 Tampa Bay (Starvenger 4-3) defeated N.Y. Giants (Cartman 2-5) 6-3 TB: GB/CIN/NO/HOU/PHI/KC/SF/NYG/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/14 NYG: AZ/CIN/NO/HOU/PHI/KC/SF/NYG/STL/DEN/NYJ/PIT/CAR/MIN/23 DIFF: GB/AZ, IND/DEN, NE/MIN St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 3-4) defeated San Diego (Porter 3-4) 11-5 STL: GB/CIN/BAL/TEN/JAX/KC/CHI/NYG/SD/IND/NYJ/PIT/DAL/NE/17 SD: GB/CIN/NO/HOU/PHI/SEA/SF/NYG/STL/IND/NYJ/OAK/CAR/NE/26 DIFF: BAL/NO, TEN/HOU, JAX/PHI, KC/SEA, CHI/SF, SD/STL, PIT/OAK, DAL/CAR, 17/26 Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 3-4) defeated by Denver (Canadian Chris 4-3) 6-7 IND: AZ/CIN/NO/HOU/JAX/KC/CHI/TB/STL/IND/NYJ/OAK/CAR/NE/27 DEN: GB/ATL/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/TB/SD/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/16 DIFF: AZ/GB, CIN/ATL, HOU/TEN, JAX/PHI, KC/SEA, STL/SD, OAK/PIT N.Y. Jets (Gert T 4-4) defeated by Cleveland (SFA Jack 6-1) 7-7 NYJ: GB/CIN/NO/TEN/PHI/KC/SF/NYG/SD/DEN/CLE/PIT/CAR/NE/EP CLE: GB/CIN/NO/HOU/PHI/SEA/CHI/NYG/STL/IND/NYJ/OAK/DAL/NE/20 DIFF: TEN/HOU, KC/SEA, SF/CHI, SD/STL, DEN/IND, CLE/NYJ, PIT/OAK, CAR/DAL Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 4-3) defeated Oakland (Smues 3-4) 5-4 PIT: GB/CIN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/TB/STL/DEN/NYJ/OAK/CAR/NE/17 OAK: GB/CIN/NO/HOU/JAX/SEA/SF/TB/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/16 DIFF: TEN/HOU, PHI/JAX, CHI/SF, DEN/IND, OAK/PIT Dallas (Hawk34 3-4) defeated by Carolina (Fazzle 3-5) 7-9 DAL: GB/CIN/NO/TEN/JAX/KC/CHI/TB/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/21 CAR: GB/ATL/NO/TEN/JAX/KC/CHI/TB/STL/IND/CLE/PIT/CAR/NE/29 DIFF: CIN/ATL, NYJ/CLE, 21/29 New England (nl-asshole 1-5-1) defeated Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 3-4) 7-3 NE: GB/CIN/NO/TEN/PHI/KC/SF/NYG/SD/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/31 MIN: AZ/CIN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/SF/TB/STL/IND/NYJ/PIT/CAR/NE/22 DIFF: GB/AZ, KC/SEA, NYG/TB, SD/STL, 31/22 Open date: Buffalo (Bob Barron 4-3), Detroit (Bravesfan 6-1), Miami (Spaceman Spiff 2-5), Washington (Human Fly 3-4)

Well it is that time of the year again. For the third or fourth year now I’ve been watching those horror movies AMC plays nonstop for a week plus. I don’t know why I watch these movies, which are edited and watered down, but it’s just one of those things. It’s on. I watch it or have it as background noise. I noticed this year there weren’t as many Friday the 13th movies, and it seemed like the Halloween films weren’t played as much, although it looks like Parts I-V and VIII will be on all day Tuesday. Thanks to this AMC marathon, I finally got around to seeing the first two Hellraiser movies this year. I’m not going to rate these films because I’m sure they are better unedited. Two movies I will comment on though are the Exorcist sequels. I saw the first film a bunch of times, both the theatrical and super-anniversary-deluxe edition with the chick walking down the steps backward on all fours. This past weekend I finally saw the Exorcist II and III on AMC. All my life I kept hearing how the Exorcist II was one of the worst films ever to be created, but I figured what the heck I’ll go watch it anyway. It wasn’t as bad as I’ve heard it was. Granted it wasn’t great, but I wouldn’t say the movie was one of the worst films ever produced. I will say though that the Exorcist III was a nice surprise; I thought this would be the worst of the two, but surprisingly I actually put down the newspaper I was reading at the time and paid closer attention to the two-plus hours this movie lasted. The ending was a bit on the “eh” side, but otherwise I was satisfied with the film. Now I need the help of, you, the loyal reader. There was another film I watched this weekend “Wolfen,” which was about a bunch of hippie Indian wolves that ate people from the ghetto, but due to urban renewal projects these public housing neighborhoods were being demolished, thus taking away the food supply of these animals. Because I had nothing better to do I decided to watch this. Two-plus hours later, I was all ready for the ending, which was when the dogs were surrounding the main characters. It was at this time that the goddamn phone rang and I missed the last few minutes of this film. When I returned to watching television, I saw the wolves running around with the credits following shortly thereafter. So help me out here – did the wolves eat these people? Did they look at the pesky humans, realize they were white and took off? Were the surrounded protagonists morphed into these animals? There’s no way I’m watching this movie again, so any help on this one would be greatly appreciated. While I’m on this subject, there was an incident years ago that makes me laugh today. For years I was good friends with this one chick (haven’t heard from her in eight years), and she lived in a trailer minutes away from the college she was attending. No, that wasn’t where she lived full-time; just whenever classes were in session – it was cheaper than an apartment and more comfortable than a dorm. Anyway, for some reason that night we decided to rent Halloween VI, which to this day I still didn’t understand what the hell happened at the end of this movie. After watching the first 10 minutes or so, a picture frame fell in her bedroom, which actually got a jump out of both of us. However, the best part was shortly thereafter when something began thumping up against her trailer’s one side. When we both agreed that this noise was nothing more than a branch, she went to open up her front door to go outside and push aside this obstruction. Right as she turned the doorknob, I screamed at the top of my lungs, “DON’T OPEN THE DOOR!” Her face turned white, and I began laughing hysterically.

Ditto. The best part was seeing her in that dancing outfit.

First two years at this new place we had 25+ visitors. Crappy weather this year resulted in just 18.

AFC EAST Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 4-3 < PF: 55, PA: 53, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 3-1 > New York Jets (Gert T) 4-4 < PF: 57, PA: 52, AFC: 4-3, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 1-1 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 2-5 < PF: 45, PA: 53, AFC: 2-4, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 2-1 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 1-5-1 < PF: 52, PA: 46, AFC: 0-4-1, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-4 > AFC NORTH Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 6-1 < PF: 51, PA: 47, AFC: 4-1, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 2-0 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 4-3 < PF: 46, PA: 46, AFC: 3-3, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-1 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 3-3-1 < PF: 46, PA: 53, AFC: 2-1-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 3-4 < PF: 44, PA: 44, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 0-1 > AFC SOUTH Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 5-2 < PF: 51, PA: 46, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 2-0 > Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 4-3 < PF: 48, PA: 48, AFC: 2-3, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-1 > Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 3-4 < PF: 53, PA: 49, AFC: 2-3, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-2 > Houston Texans (Bored) 3-4 < PF: 54, PA: 54, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-2 > AFC WEST Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 6-1 < PF: 52, PA: 44, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 3-0, DIV: 2-0 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 4-3 < PF: 47, PA: 49, AFC: 4-2, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 1-1 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 3-4 < PF: 53, PA: 51, AFC: 2-3, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-1 > San Diego Chargers (Porter) 3-4 < PF: 49, PA: 53, AFC: 2-3, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-2 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 4-3-1 < PF: 60, PA: 62, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 3-2-1, DIV: 2-0 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 3-4 < PF: 51, PA: 51, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 2-3, DIV: 1-2 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 3-4 < PF: 46, PA: 45, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 3-0, DIV: 1-1 > New York Giants (Cartman) 2-5 < PF: 48, PA: 51, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 2-4, DIV: 1-2 > NFC NORTH Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 6-1 < PF: 54, PA: 50, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 4-1, DIV: 2-1 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 5-2 < PF: 49, PA: 43, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 4-2, DIV: 2-0 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 3-4 < PF: 46, PA: 47, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 3-2, DIV: 1-1 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 1-6 < PF: 41, PA: 51, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-6, DIV: 0-3 > NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 6-1 < PF: 57, PA: 47, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 5-0, DIV: 3-0 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 4-3 < PF: 53, PA: 48, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 4-1, DIV: 2-1 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 3-5 < PF: 55, PA: 51, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 2-3, DIV: 1-2 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 2-4-1 < PF: 49, PA: 51, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-3-1, DIV: 0-3 > NFC WEST Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 4-4 < PF: 60, PA: 51, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 3-3, DIV: 2-1 > Seattle Seahawks (C Dubya) 3-4 < PF: 50, PA: 50, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 3-3, DIV: 2-0 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 3-4 < PF: 54, PA: 51, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 1-4, DIV: 0-3 > San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 2-5 < PF: 36, PA: 47, AFC: 0-3, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-1 >

Well, since today is the big “H” day, I figured it might as well be appropriate to look back at my childhood and remember how I dealt with this special time. I always liked Halloween, and it was for the same reason ninety-nine percent of kids across America did – for the free candy. Well, it isn’t exactly free; you have to sport a costume and walk from house to house demanding sweets. I tried to remember some of my old costumes, and here is what I came up with, in no particular order: Early-to-mid-1980s: My mom sewed a badass Star Wars X-Wing Pilot outfit. I think I remember her getting some how-to kit and making it herself, but in the end I didn’t care because I got to pimp around in an orange-and-white outfit with a blaster at my side. Throughout the original Star Wars trilogy, I was always more partial to Han Solo than to Luke Skywalker (what heterosexual kid isn’t?), but on this night it didn’t matter because for a few hours I was a friggin’ X-Wing Pilot. Early-to-mid-1980s: I can’t remember whose idea this was, but one my old man took a huge box, shaped it up and covered it in yellow duct tape. Who was I? Pac Man. Again, this was one of those costumes I remember from my childhood simply because it was unique. There was one problem: the eye slit that was cut for me so I would see when I walked really limited my point of view (and forget about any peripheral vision). In addition, the box had a narrow opening at its bottom, and because of this it didn’t let me walk at my normal stride; I also remembered being sore as hell the next morning. If Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde (or whatever the names of those ghosts were) came looking for me, I would have been s.o.l. But who cares? For a few hours I was friggin’ Pac-Man. There are two more costumes I remember sporting, and both dealt with movie characters from movies I loved back as a kid and still enjoy today. One was Eliot Ness. This get-up was easy. I wore a suit and those gangsta hats, along with a pellet shotgun and pistol – and neither one had that gay-ass orange barrel that toy guns today have on them. Another year I was dressed up as one of those marines from the “Aliens” movie. For those that have seen this film, I fancied myself as being the Hudson character, which, in the moments before his death, went batshit and began cussing at all the creepy crawlers before he was eventually done in. Now that’s a role model for the youth. Sadly, what I associate most with Halloween now are the Christmas displays a number of stores now put out this time of the year. As a kid, the fall/winter holiday season broke up into three different sections for me: Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s a bit depressing to see these three events snowball into one because when I was a kid, each one had significance for me. Halloween was for candy. Thanksgiving was for turkey. Christmas was for presents. Now these lines have been blurred to the point where anything after Labor Day is like one huge holiday where people dressed up in witches’ outfits with drumstick in their mouths are opening gift-wrapped boxes. Then again, maybe it has always been this way and I just don’t remember. Either way, I really don’t care. Because for a few minutes I got to remember that for a few hours I was once a friggin’ X-Wing Pilot.

• A few years back I remember a bunch of liberals goofing on Bill O’Reilly for some adult-themed book he wrote called “Those Who Trespass.” It was naughty and supposedly had sex and violence jam-packed throughout this story. I said “supposedly” because I didn’t read this book and I don’t intend to. Not because I’d be offended by the graphic details but rather because I don’t care. Fast forward a few years to the present day. The battle for Virginia’s Senate seat has heated up when the Republican candidate, George Allen, made some RACIST remark to some guy from the other candidate’s staff. It was some goofy word for monkey, or was it “stupid dark person”? Hell, I don’t know, and once again I don’t care. I also heard that there have been some “questions” of Allen hanging a confederate flag 20 years ago or something. Once again, I don’t care. He may have also said the “n” word, too. Ohs nos. Well now the tables have turned, or somthing. Turns out Allen’s opponent wrote some goofy books years ago and now these books are being used as political fodder. Haha. But here’s my favorite part. So Karl Rove wrote these books that are now being used against Webb. Rove must have gotten into his brain and typed out these passages while Webb was under his influence. And Rove also knew all this would happen years before the 2006 election. My n*gga. • Below are my results from last week’s NFL pickkks. Carolina at Cincinnati. Correct. I knew Carolina would be in this game, even if it resulted in a “L.” Detroit at N.Y. Jets. Correct. Looks like my Tigers lose/Lions lose theory is bearing fruit. I may go with it again this week. Green Bay at Miami. Correct. Woo-hoo. Three-for-three. Wow is Miami laying a dud this year. Jacksonville at Houston. Incorrect. Damn. I couldn’t have been the only one wrong in this one. New England at Buffalo. Correct. The Pats are riding high, and the Bills are, well, not. Philadelphia at Tampa Bay. Incorrect. I thought the Eagles would bounce back from last week’s loss at New Orleans. Guess I was wrong. Pittsburgh at Atlanta. Incorrect. The local fans are already throwing Troy Polamalu under the bus for not “containing” Vick in overtime and instead going for the big hit, which he missed, and resulted in an Atlanta first down and eventually the game-winning field goal. Leave a brotha alone. I still can’t believe some of the idiot fans here were expecting this team to contend for another Super Bowl. They got a year older. They played a full-postseason (an extra quarter of a season). They lost some key free agents. And they have played a rough schedule. Granted they should have won at Atlanta, but when you go up against Jacksonville, Cincinnati and San Diego, in the regular season you’re not going to win all three of them. San Diego at Kansas City. Incorrect. Shit. Denver at Cleveland. Correct. Whenever you have a few picks not going your way you can always count on Cleveland to bail you out. Arizona at Oakland. Incorrect. First the Cardinals play good enough to lead the Bears after three quarters, and now they lose to this team? Perhaps Arizona is the worst NFL team this year. Minnesota at Seattle. Correct. Boy did Seattle get whipped at home. So much for this being a close Seahawk victory. Washington at Indianapolis. Incorrect. I at least thought the Redskins would show up for this one and keep the contest within single digits. N.Y. Giants at Dallas. Correct. The fans wanted Tony Romo. They got Tony Romo. This week’s record: 7-6. Cumulative record: 47-53. Why is it so much easier to lose ground rather than to make up ground?

Huh?

• Woo-hoo! Due to the rain, and brief appearance of snow, that hippie hayride thing I talked about in yesterday’s entry was cancelled. Instead I got to watch some animated movie called “Open Season” that we took the nephew to. Eh, it could have been worse – we could have went to see “Flicka.” • Well the World Series came and went and I nearly forgot it was on. I saw parts of a few games, but otherwise I have no idea what happened, other than that it rained a bunch. I really had no bandwagon team this year. I mean, it would have been nice for Jim Leyland to win another championship, and some of the coaches on his team were ex-Pirates back from a time when I actually used to care about Shittsburgh baseball. However, I always had this thing about the Cardinals. They don’t have the biggest market and they don’t spend the most money, but they always seem to field a competitive team. So I say good for them. It’s weird that another wild-card team won the World Series, especially considering the Cards were barely above .500. But you know what? With all the talk about how the World Series would be decided in the ALCS, and that the New York Mets were the only hope the National League had at even having a shot at winning the title, I say hooray for St. Louis. One topic brought up during this cold, wet World Series was the subject of having the Series played on a neutral field in a warm weather climate. Fuck that. If the Series had been Oakland against Los Angeles, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Want to make the Series a free from the threat of snow? Then start the regular season earlier or shave some games off the 161 Major League Baseball plays every year. I’m not in favor of either one of these options, but I’d take that over playing the World Series at a neutral site. And if we drive enough SUV’s, maybe global warming will take of this problem for us sometime down the road. • Hey one-world commies, I got news for you. Even if a Democrat wins the White House in ’08 (or even John McCain), your precious Kyoto Treaty won’t be going anywhere in America. That is unless there is some catastrophe where liberals also overrun Congress, and I don’t think that would happen. Even if libs get a slim majority, they won’t blow their wad on passing this bullshit and then getting voted out of office in the next election. • You know, with all the things government and health nazis are doing in order to try to keep us from getting fat, someone comes along and decides that Coca-Cola isn’t bad enough for us and tries this piece of Americana fried. Not only does this bring a tear to my eye as to what we Americans are capable of, but it also churns my stomach a bit. Blech.

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 49: Mole Some people think he’s an idiot, among other things, but he’s OK in my book. It’s strange, though, because I generally despise the “college lifestyle” and believe most people who engage in it need to be taken out to an alley and shot. However, even with Mole’s stories of college hijinks, I consider him an exception to this rule I have regarding those out of high school but not yet in the real world. I don’t know why this is – perhaps because, except for a more-than-manageable school loan, I no longer have my wallet in the meat-grinder that is academia. Also, since he’s now paying for part of the TSM bill, I can rest assured that even if he has a medical condition he’ll put more serious things, such as DVD collections and our Internet message-boarding experience, over his own personal welfare. And now a word or five from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed. From Black Lushus: From EricMM: From Carnival: From SFA Jack: From Cancer Marney: • Well today was fun. I took today and Friday off from work, as did the better half, and after sleeping in until 10 a.m. we headed out to some farm to get this year’s pumpkins for the Halloween season. Mrs. kkk always gets one pumpkin for every cat we own, which means we’ll be wasting money on three of them, much like we have each of the last six years. Well, that just means more seeds for me to eat after all the guts are taken out of each pumpkin. I have no idea why the better half likes getting pumpkins at this place, which is called Schramm’s Market, but whatever; I’m just along for the ride. When we pulled into Schramm’s, the thought of romping about in a pumpkin patch wasn’t too appealing to me, considering I’m in the final stages of getting over my first cold of the season. But then when we pulled in and I saw all the political signs that these people had on their property endorsing the Party of Liberty, Freedom and the oppression of minorities, women and the poor, I took solace in knowing that today’s pumpkin purchases were going to a good cause. But this isn’t where the story ends. We made a few other stops today, and one of them was to a shopping center with a grocery store (Giant Eagle) that is part of the chain I do my shopping at. Since Giant Eagle’s weekly specials start on Thursdays, I decided to stop in and pick up some Pepsi products because this week they are on sale. I went to the grocery store, and Mrs. kkk went to another store to buy candles for the future Jack-o-Lanterns. I got my two 24-packs, one a Diet Pepsi and the other a Diet Mountain Dew (damn you Diet Mountain Dew – this shit is like crack). There was one problem. There was only one Dew in stock, and its side flap was half open. Because there’s no way I’m about to let a discounted Diet Dew slip through my fingers, I carried it sideways, which meant I couldn’t use the top-of-carton handle. I got to the checkout line and placed the Pepsi case normal side up. I then placed the Dew case on its side so the opening on this pack wouldn’t be a problem. I told the bitchy middle-aged cashier that I had the Dew case on its side due to its one flap being half-way opened; I even pointed to this flap and showed her the opening. She looked at me as if I was some retard who forgot to put on his bicycle helmet. Seconds later she grabbed the Dew cube and set it up straight. At that moment the partial opening turned into a full chasm and about a dozen cans came crashing out. I took a step back and clapped my hands as she spent the next minute or two rounding up all the cans that were scattered over her workstation. I get that customers are stupid – I’ve even dealt with at least a few hundred of them during my cashier days – but not all of us are out to make your job a living hell, bitch. If I really wanted to be a prick, I would have opened a can or two that rolled around just to mess up her counter, but I’m not wasting a single drop of this yellow carbonated goodness on someone who looks like life is already doing a perfectly good job of pissing all over her. The drive home was uneventful, although I got a laugh from of the one sign I read on some local business’ marquee: “Liberalism is a Mental Disorder. Vote Republican.” Awesome. Someone listens to Savage. Oh, and there was this other sign at a local eatery that read, “Last Diner Before the Turnpike.” (A toll road, for those scoring at home.) A few miles later there was this redneck bar with the following on its marquee, “Last Beer Before the Turnpike.” Sometimes this region amazes even me.

Matching outfits? That ought to be an automatic disqualification right there.

My bad. Well, at least they had the worst record of any team in the playoffs.

Deadline has come and gone; Gert is using EPs.

• Well, I have for all intents and purposes gotten over this bug in me for the last week or so. And where am I going tonight? Why, to some hippie event dealing with an historical battle that took place around this region (either the Revolutionary or Civil War). On top of that, the better half and I will be taking our one niece and nephew. Oh, and I have I mentioned that the weather is absolutely shitty and it will probably be raining? You have no idea how difficult it is in controlling the erection I'm having over going to this. • I watched this weeks’ South Park, and saw the Steve Irwin joke, which made its way to the Drudge Report via a British newspaper article citing the poor taste Trey Parker and Matt Stone displayed by including the Crocodile Hunter in Satan’s big Halloween Spectacular. It’s South Park – what do you expect? Besides, the joke wasn’t all that offensive; in fact, I thought it was rather tame. (I’m sure longtime fans of the show will remember Irwin getting chopped to bits in a previous episode dealing with sending a “primate” back to his time of 1996.) All in all, this episode was there and wasn’t as good as the last few episodes of this season. Then again, an “eh” episode of South Park is still better than just about anything else I watch, so I’m not complaining. • Here are my NFL Week 8 pickkks: Arizona at Green Bay (3.5) After last week’s debacle, I’m surprised that the point spread is only three-and-a-half points. Atlanta at Cincinnati (4.5) I’m not sure which way to go on this one. Atlanta runs the ball and one of Cincinnati’s weak points is run defense. However, I’m sure the Bengals won’t have problems passing the ball. Shoot. I’ll go with the Falcons. Baltimore at New Orleans (2.5) Every time I have doubted the Saints they proved me wrong. Now it’s time to ruin their Cinderella story by picking them to win a game. Houston at Tennessee (3.5) I have no clue. Um, I’ve heard David Carr is having a good year, so I’ll take his team. Jacksonville at Philadelphia (6.5) Which Jaguar team will show up -- the one that beat the Redskins in overtime and shut down the Steelers offense, or the one that lost to the Texans last week? I’ll go with the Eagles. Seattle at Kansas City (6.5) Both teams will be starting their backup quarterbacks. I’ll go with Kansas City because they’re at home and plus their starting running back is playing. San Francisco at Chicago (16.5) Give me the Bears and the spread. The 49ers burned me against Kansas City a few weeks back when I thought they would manage to keep that game somewhat competitive. Tampa Bay at N.Y. Giants (9.5) I think the Giants will win, but Tampa Bay has been playing teams close the last few weeks. St. Louis at San Diego (9.5) Like the game above, I think the Chargers will win, but I’m hoping the Rams keep the game close. Indianapolis at Denver (2.5) I’m interested to see how the Colts play this game. This may also be a game to determine who gets home field advantage throughout the playoffs. N.Y. Jets at Cleveland (1.5) I can’t think of a reason why the Jets will win. (9.5) Pittsburgh at Oakland For the Steelers’ sake I hope they win, but I’m not sure if they will do it by 9-plus points. Dallas at Carolina (5.5) The Cowboys have been feasting on bad teams, but whenever they match up against a good franchise their weaknesses show. I don’t think Romo will have a fun day, either. (2.5) New England at Minnesota Finally, a Monday Night Football game I’m interested in watching. I think the Patriots’ defense will stifle the Viking offense just enough for New England to win by more than a field goal.

What's the costume? And my make-shift Halloween costume in the event I should ever need one is a George W. Bush mask, a cowboy hat and my "I Halliburton" shirt. I figure it's good until 2008, but if Karl Rove's master plan of world domination goes as planned, making W. our president FOREVER, I could use this costume for the rest of my life.