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kkktookmybabyaway

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Blog Entries posted by kkktookmybabyaway

  1. kkktookmybabyaway
    8:15 p.m.
     
    • Time for another pic of the kids.
     

     
    It's Max. There are pumpkins on the coffee table. Max is on the coffee table. That's all I got. Interestingly enough, JJ is terrified of pumpkins, and when we get them every October he flees in terror. *shrug*
     
    8 p.m.
     
    • I’ve always said that bitches will be the death of you.
     

     
    Reading this story reminded me of an instance in high school where this one guy named James dated this Rachel chick for a while. I guess you could say they were the pre-goth crowd, although they weren’t nearly as “extreme” as the all-white/black hair and make-up freaks are today. I’d classify them more as “alternatives.” How far in-between the evolution scale are we talking about regarding Goths and alternatives? If we were going by the dinosaur scale, here’s how it would go.
     
    If Goths are Triceratopses…
     

     
    ... then James and Rachel would have been Protoceratopses.
     
    .
     
    Get it? Got it? Good.
     
    Anyway, for one reason or another Rachel dumped James. And what did James do? He went to the wall where he painted “Rachel + James” and removed the vertical line so that it read “Rachel – James.” Was pretty funny, actually.
     
    6 p.m.
     
    • Regardless of what you think of Don Imus’ “nappy headed hos” remark regarding the women’s Rutgers college basketball team, this is probably the funniest thing to come out the whole ordeal.
     

     
    Poo-Face wants “lines drawn” in regards to media speech? The same race-baiting poverty pimp that got a $345,000 defamation suit against him for what he said regarding the Tawana Brawley hoax? The same race-baiting poverty pimp that did the following back in 1995?
     

     
    You’re good, Poo-Face. Real good. No go have your wife feed you lots of eggs and butter so you can die early like many black men do, of heart disease. Well, that’s how I feel. Oh, dear. Did I say something RACIST? No, I’m just quoting Julianne Malveaux, a black female columnist, and what she said about Clarance Thomas back in the day.
  2. kkktookmybabyaway
    9 p.m.
     
    • Now this is real fucked up...
     

     
    ...Imus is still alive?
     
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • I don't care what anyone says, this guy can coach my team anytime.
     

     
    I wouldn't be looking for any work in the media or banking industries either, Mike.
     
    2 p.m.
     
    • Rush just said, "I believe half of what I see, none of what I hear." If you can't figure it out by now, then don't bother.
     
    9:30 p.m.
     
    • From this Web site's About Us section. The "Despises" section is great.
     

     
    I'm so getting this shirt.
     

     
    8 a.m.
     
    • Do I really need to say anything else?
     

     

     

     
    :lol:
     

     
    :lol:
     
    7:30 a.m.
     
    • So there's a new SOMETHING-WING RADIO channel in Shittsburgh, and all I can say is alrighty then.
     
    93.7 the Zone: Shittsburgh's MAN STATION.
     
    Opie and Anthony 6-9 a.m.
    John Steigerwald 9-10 a.m. (local guy who used to/may still write about sports)
    Dennis Miller 10 a.m.-1 p.m.
    John McIntire 1-4 p.m. (local liberal weenie)
    Scott Paulsen 4-7 p.m. (local FM DJ)
    Dave Dameshek 7-10 p.m. (No clue)
    Loveline 10 p.m.-1 a.m.
    John & Jeff 1-6 a.m.
     
    Oh, yeah. This will be around long.
  3. kkktookmybabyaway
    8 p.m.
     
    Happy birthday to me…
     
    So, as usual, at 1 p.m., two hours before my workday ends, I get a call from a co-worker informing me that I have 500+ quarterly annuity statements/envelopes to stuff. Jesus fucking Christ, all I ask is that I get some heads up on this shit. You know, assholes, I actually have a job to do and I *gasp* plan out my schedule of when I do stuff, unlike you dumbfucks. At my job’s last quarterly board of directors meeting, which I couldn’t attend due to granny’s funeral, a shit storm was raised when I included I my report all the fucking envelopes I was told to stuff, among other stupid tasks that I should not be doing. I wish I could have been there when several directors asked my idiot bosses why someone in my position was stuffing envelopes when I'm being paid to do other projects. Of course, when I came back to work I had a meeting to discuss this matter.
     
    “In your report you said that you were ‘told’ to stuff envelopes.”
     
    “Was ‘stuffing envelopes’ part of my job duties when I was hired?”
     
    “No.”
     
    “Then how would I otherwise go about stuffing envelopes at this place unless someone told me to do so?”
     
    *crickets chirp*
     
    Thank God I'm two floors away from these people.
     

     
    Happy birthday to me…
     
    So I picked up the better half from her job and went about our merry way home. Then there was the accident. From what I could make out, some van crashed into a car in this sorta-residential area. Three ambulances, four cop cars and a fire truck sealed off the usual way home, so we had to improvise with an alternate route. Problem is we had no idea where the hell we were going. When I get into these situations, I just drive around until I see something familiar. Man, I thought I was in hippie hell before. The part of Shittsburgh we drive through on the way home has “Books Not Bombs” and “John Kerry” bumper stickers on the back of cars. But now we were going even deeper into the belly of the beast, where bikeways ride alongside streets where liberal soccer moms drive their SUVs with bumper stickers that read, “My other car is a PAT bus.” Of course, we ended up in some construction area where two lanes of road become one, and 1+ mile of blocked off roads precede a 20-foot area where construction workers are standing around trying to look busy. Finally, some signs pointing us in the right direction were found and in what usually is an hour’s drive turned into two. All because some dickhead was not paying attention to where he or she was driving.
     

     
    Happy birthday, kkk…
     
    During this drive o’ fun, the better half was acting like a bitch. Now this is usual because whenever she gets lost driving she tenses up. Why she does this, I stopped trying to figure out. Then again, if you have to spend any additional time with me in a confined space, you might be a little anxious as well. After asking what her problem was for the umpteenth time, she finally said…
     

     
    Happy birthday to me.
     
    “Remember that prescription cough medicine I took? The asshole pharmacist didn’t bother to tell me it would mess with my birth control pills.”
     

  4. kkktookmybabyaway
    KKK's Top 103 Posters
     

    Number 32: Hogan Made Wrestling
     
    Even though he isn’t up-to-date on all the great white running backs of the NFL, it seems we both share an affection for Baldur’s Gate. (The PC game with Minsc and Boo, not the console version. Both games are solid in their own ways, but I lean toward Shadows of Amn.) He also shares an affinity with me for hating poor white trash. However, he doesn’t seem to care much for blogs, which makes me wonder what the hell he’s doing on this list in the first place. And talk about the power of premonition: from a post of mine in that “blog” thread I mentioned above.
     

     
    6:30 p.m.
     
    • OK. So I see this article on the wires.
     

     
    No biggie. I wouldn't have even given this a second thought. After all, people are a crazy lot. However, below that article was this one.
     

     
    Here was my favorite part.
     

     
    And speaking of Valium, my out-of-control niece in law showed up for orientation at her hostess job that will probably last less than two weeks. She was with a few other people, and one of them is also a recovering drug addict who asked her, "So you're on methadone, too?" Well, that's one place I'll never eat at again. Pity, and the one time I went there before it was a good enough restaurant.
     
    12 p.m.
     
    • So the Frenchies have fast trains.
     

     
    Great, now they can retreat faster than ever before.
     
    • The Pirates beat the Astros 4-2 yesterday on Opening Day. But the Bucs were perfect at Minute Maid Park last year -- they didn't win a single game. Gee, maybe this really is year they turn everything around.
  5. kkktookmybabyaway
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • You cocksuckers asked for my address, phone number, social security number, mother's maiden name, shoe size and blood sample the last time I stopped in to get some batteries and this is what you do with all that information?
     

     
    • You know, if I won $150k from the lottery or inheritance (now that's a funny one; I'd need 150,000 relatives to die and leave me everything), the sensible part of me would use this money to pay off the house and Mrs. kkk's school loan. But that was before I read this.
     

     
    When I was a kid I had my picture taken with KITT at a car show. (Or at least that's what I was told when my mom paid the $5 for the photo. It was a black car with that red flashy thing. Good enough for me.) Somewhat funny story. When I was in grade school in the early/mid-80s, our class (of less than 10; private school, baby) had some assignment where we had to write where we wanted to live if we had the chance. The catch: it had to be a real place. I can’t remember what I wrote, but my best friend at the time wrote that he wanted to live in “Knight Riderland.” When the teacher asked him where this was he said, “Way far away.” How the hell to I remember this? Oh, and my mom wouldn’t let me watch the A-Team because it was “too violent.” Bitch.
     
    11:15 a.m.
     
    • Don't you know that teaching the Holocaust in British schools is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male, err, child?
     

     
    10 a.m.
     
    • So I’m listening to Boortz on his flagship 750-WSB Atlanta this morning via the Internet, and the station just had their sports guy talk about the upcoming Florida/OSU game. Who is this guy? Tony Schiavone. It was weird hearing him describe an event and not use the words, “THIS WILL BE THE BIGGEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT~!!!.”
  6. kkktookmybabyaway
    11 p.m.
     
    • I have my fair share of rap CDs in my collection, which numbers between 400-500. Most of these albums are from the 1990s, and I’ve pretty much pigeonholed myself into this era. I don’t care much for contemporary hip-hop, but I’m not going to hate on it either. It’s just I grew up with certain albums and certain styles. I listen to what’s out nowadays and I can’t get into many of these flows. But if this is what today’s youth listen to and what they like, then more power to them. I’m sure those who grew up listening to the Treacherous Three couldn’t understand why I was infatuated with some guy named Ice Cube. For me, I’ll stick with what I listened to during my high school and college days. Now I have a number of albums that I consider to be solid rap efforts, whether it’s A Tribe Called Quest, EPMD, 2Pac, Redman, or Wu-Tang and the group’s initial offering of solo projects from artists such as Raekwon and Ol’ Dirty Bastard. However, there are a number of CDs that when I see in my collection I shake my head. I’ve mentioned “Shaq Fu: the Return” before and I’ll do so again, and there are some albums that you know are going to be awful but get anyway. You can’t help doing so. If anything, you get these albums just to keep for posterity. Such was the case with this one album. I knew it was out, and I had no intention of paying full retail price for this. Hell, I wasn’t going to spend the money needed to pick it up at the used CD store. Instead, I let this one person I knew buy it and bought it off of him for $4 after he realized how awful it was. And what was this album?
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

     
    After the abortion that was “It’s On," which was supposed to be a counterpunch to Dr. Dre’s “Chronic” album, anyone with half-a-brain knew this follow-up effort would be bad; nobody will mistake “Str8 Off” with NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton.” I think what made me want to own this album though was that Eazy-E was in the midst of this project when he found out he had the AIDS. This album was released after his death and for me it seemed to be my way of pouring a 40 oz. to the curb in memory of the E.
     
    Oh no, what happened to my lover?
     
    Bitch I bashed his head in with my Louisville Slugger.
     
    4:30 p.m.
     
    • Christ, I can hear the liberals already whining about how we live in a fascist regime.
     

     
    Yesterday afternoon on the drive home from work the better half told me of this story and asked my opinion of the whole thing. She’s Catholic and thought it was a stupid idea to create a milk chocolate Jesus. Although I think a lesser stink would have been made had our lord and savior been sporting a loin cloth, I was more interested in knowing if any public money was spent making this piece of shit. But that’s neither here nor there. Actually, I really don’t care that there’s a sculpture of the guy who died for my sins and stuff made out of chocolate. (Jesus was a black dude – little wonder why he never had a job. Interchangeable hippie/black jokes; gotta love ‘em.)
     
    Here's the "art" in question.
     
    Oh, yeah. NSFW and all that.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

     
    All in all, this is nothing more than typical “edgy” New Yorker shit. “Let’s be cutting edge and do something about Christianity that is sure to piss off a bunch of people. How about putting Jesus in a jar of urine? Can’t: Already been done. Well let’s make a picture of the Virgin Mary out of elephant poop. Drat: Beaten to the punch. I guess we’ll have to make a chocolate naked Jesus.” I could make a “milk chocolate melts in your mouth and not in your hand,” joke right about now, but … well what do you know, I just did.
     
    Interestingly enough, I had another thought upon first hearing of this evangelical-led attack on our rights to display stupid artwork, which was brought up later by someone quoted in the article I linked.
     

     
    Say, this just inspired Mikkkhaelango to produce his latest masterpiece.
     

     
    I'll expect my National Endowment for the Arts check to be mailed sometime next week.
  7. kkktookmybabyaway
    7:15 p.m.
     
    • For the last few weeks, I’ve been on a “Cops” kick. I guess because the white-trash tales regarding the crackwhore sister-in-law and her out-of-control daughter have recently come to a halt, I need to go elsewhere for my fix. I remember years ago this comedian had a bit about someone he knew that watched this show and tried to guess the race of the perp before he or she showed up on television. Sadly, that’s what I’m doing now, and I’m pretty good at it. In fact, I now have to add another twist to this game: if the perp is white, will he (or she!) be wearing a shirt? And if the perp is black, I try to understand at least half of what the crack head/car thief/druggie says during his 15 minutes of fame on television. And just why am I watching this show? About 45 minutes ago I got done viewing an episode where two girls in a trailer park got into a fight. According to the witnesses, one parent watched the scuffle. But when the other kid’s parent came out to see what was going on, Parent 1 (allegedly) threw a beer at Parent 2. As the po-pos were trying to figure out what was going on, they spoke with Parent 2, who admitted to letting her kid punch the other kid, saying, “This is a trailer park. It’s what they do.”
     
    Oh, but it got better. The next segment had two cops pull up to a house where a 7-year-old locked his mom out of their residence. To make matters better, this brat was making faces by the window when the officers were telling him to let his mom back in the house. The cops eventually broke the front door and the kid hid under a bed. Once he was dragged out to the living, he began screaming and crying. He was also in nothing but his underwear.
     
    • For as much as I hate mowing the lawn, there is one thing I despise more. Raking leaves. There is a tree in my backyard that dumps its load every November/December and I have to rake this shit up. Last year I was waiting for this annual ritual to begin, and of course the day in which all the leaves end up on the ground the better half and I were in the midst of a flu bout. Once I got over this sickness, I slept on my back in an odd way and woke up one morning with so much pain I couldn’t bend over. After a week or two when this condition went away it began to constantly rain or snow. I figured I’ll just rake this shit up come spring. It couldn’t be that bad, right? Wrong. Over the last last two days I’ve done four full leaf bags of these dried-up pieces of shit and I got a few good bags left scattered on my property. God only knows what the neighbors think because I’m sure some of my mess went onto their yard. Then again, they really don’t do much in the realm of lawn preservation, so I’m sure any “outrage” directed at me would be just for show. However, it’s the principle of it all, and I do feel like a schmuck about this mishap. Let’s just say lesson learned. I could have cancer with tubes sticking out of every body part and I’ll still rake these leaves once they fall from that damn tree.
     
    • The MLB season hasn't even started yet and I have to listen to this shit already.
     

     
    OK, time to play “Who is more diverse?” Is it the league with
     
    60 percent of one race
    29 percent of another race
    8.5 percent of another race, and
    2.5 percent of another;
     
    Or is it the league with
     
    77 percent of one race
    21 percent of another race, and
    2 percent of other races;
     
    Or is it the league with
     
    69 percent of one race, and
    31 percent of another race, plus probably a percentage or two of other races.
     
    If you guessed the first sport, you would be selecting Major League Baseball. Sport number two is the NBA, and sport number three is the NFL. So while the PC bitches at ESPN and other national sports media figureheads gnaw on their fingernails trying to figure out how to bring more black people into America’s National Pastime, I’m doing my best to get more of “my people” those valued starting NFL cornerback slots. But I’ll throw MLB a bone on this one. You want more blacks in your game? Promote the fact being able to steal in your contests is a good thing.
  8. kkktookmybabyaway
    6:45 p.m.
     
    • Oh you got to be kidding me. ESPN has Racist Dusty as a commentator? I just saw him on SportsCenter talking about the NL East. Oddly enough, Racist Dusty didn’t mention which teams will start out the season fast but finish slow in those chilly September nights due to a plethora of black players on their roster.
     
    • I can't wait to hear Circuit City bitch a year from now about how they can't find any good workers.
     

     
    If you’ve read my blog or posts for any length of time, chances are you know my opinion toward unions, "worker's rights" and all that other hippie shit, but whenever I read stuff like this, I get irked. Then again, in a free market, you always have to be on the go and ready to change jobs; staying at a place for 30 years is a thing of the past. Kind of a shame, really, but it’s a fact of life. Great, now I’m sounding like a commie. I need to change the subject … stat.
     
    • Much better.
     

     
    9 a.m.
     
    • I'm a cat person, but I got to admit that there's no way any of my three would be able to pull this off.
     

     
    7 a.m.
     
    • So I just heard on the news that Fast Eddie's attempt to jack up the state cigarette tax an extra dime is approved by voters in a poll by a count of 54 to 46 percent. Now I don’t smoke and I don’t care about those that do. However, I do have a soft spot for smokers if only because I treat them like disposable front-line infantrymen (and women) in the war on the State taxing its constituents. If smoking ever gets banned, or taxed to the point where not enough people won't purchase the product, then Big Brother will go and tax up the wazoo something else – perhaps something I like. Well anyway, I heard in this news blurb that the dime increase will make PA’s tax on a pack of smokes $1.45. And we bitch about BIG OIL for price gouging? Yikes.
     
    • I’ve been rooting for the Penguins and their mid-season surge to the NHL playoffs, if only because I hope it reminds people that Fast Eddie and Shittsburgh did jack shit to keep them here (yet our local leaders bent over backwards for the Pirates when they were in "danger" of leaving town). Last night they clinched a postseason spot. Uh, yay and stuff. I normally don’t watch the Penguins on television for a full game. If I’m putting away groceries or channel surfing and a game is being televised, I’ll keep it on depending on my mood. Well last night I had the start of the game on against the Washington Capitals while I got back from the grocery store. Every time I have a Penguins game on at the start of the contest they stink up the arena, and last night was no exception as Washington got off to a 2-0 lead. I changed channels for a few hours and came back to the game. What was the score when I returned to the game? 4-2 Pens.
  9. kkktookmybabyaway
    3 p.m.
     
    • That Karl Rove is a genius. What’s the best way to get your administration’s accusations of firing judges, or whatever that stupid “scandal” is about? Give your press spokesman cancer.
     

     
    I didn't care too much for Tony when he sub-hosted for Rush all those years ago, but I didn't want him to get cancer for it.
     
    8:15 a.m.
     
    • OK, so I get oodles of male (and female) enhancement ads through my personal and work e-mail, along with letters from exiled African princes who offer me millions of dollars worth of inheritance loot for just a $5,000 loan. Anyway, I got this in my e-mail this morning, and, well …
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

  10. kkktookmybabyaway
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • Time to see if I’m a true-blue Juggalo or a Poser. Before I begin, I have a funny/sad story related to the Insane Clown Posse that I would like to share. While working as a team leader for a test-scoring facility in Ohio, I came across this essay answer that was nothing more than the lyrics to ICP’s “Under the Moon” (I can’t remember what the test question was). Oddly enough, that wasn’t the only “rap song” answer I encountered while working this job. In an essay question asking the student to tell a story of how he or she overcame a challenge, I got the lyrics to the Notorious B.I.G. “Warning.” However, at the end of the essay, instead of talking about busting a cap in the home invaders, he wrote something like “Hold on, I hear somebody coming. Hey, it’s Bob and Steve. You two want to go and get something to eat?” But now I’m getting off-track. I have to test my Juggalo cred.
     
    1.) How many members are in ICP?
    a) 2
    b) 4
    c) 1
    d) Unknown.
     
    Answer: Two
     
    2.) The members of ICP all have tha same first name , whut is it?
    a) Steve
    b) Mike
    c) illig
    d) Joseph
     
    Answer: Fuck, I don’t know. They both look like “Mikes.”
     
    3) Whut are the band-names tha members go by?
    a) Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope
    b) AnyBody killa(ABK), Jumpsteady
    c) Esham, Jumpsteady
    d) Dont hav NE
     
    Answer: Easy. J and Shaggy.
     
    4) Whut waz the previous name used by tha members of ICP?(whut waz there street/gang name?)
    a) Hatchet Family
    b) Tha Dark Carnival
    c) Insane Jester Gang
    d) Inner City Posse
     
    Answer: Inner City Posse – how the hell do I know that?
     
    5) Whut was tha Story they were trying to tell through music?
    a) Story of tha Dark Carnival
    b) Hatchet warrior story
    c) Tha story of tha jesters/jokers
    d) There isnt a story
    e) …
     
    Answer: …
     
    6) Did all tha members hav dreads?
    a) No
    b)Yes
    c) Only one did
    d) They didnt evere have dreads, they had braids
    e) .....
     
    Answer: I’m going with the “braids” answer because I smell a swerve with this one.
     
    7) Well weather they were dreads or braids, why did one of them have to shave them off?
    a) Never did
    b) No reason
    c) A new look
    d) For a Movie
     
    Answer: Got to be a movie. LL Cool J showed us his bald head in "Halloween: H2O." Nothing wrong with holding out for the right price.
     
    8) Well if they made a movie whut waz it called?
    a) Never made a movie
    b) no names, they were music videos
    c) Big money hustlas
    d) Tha history of Insane Clown Posse
     
    Answer: OK, well it looks like I got #7 right. I’ll go with Hustlas because I doubt they would have went with “Tha history…” title.
     
    9) There were origanaly thought that there was supossed to be 7 joker cards but in tha end how many are there?
    a) 5
    b) 6
    c) 4
    d) 10
     
    Answer: Unless there was some change to the joker cards after the Great Milenko, I'm pretty sure the answer is 6.
     
    10) Whut joker card was tha master of Necromancy?
    a) Tha Great Milenko
    b) Tha Amazing Jeckle brothers
    c) Carnival Carnag
    d) Tha Wraith
    e) Tha Ring Master
    f) Tha Riddlebox
     
    Answer: Oh hell, I think I actually know this one. Milenko.
     
    OK, now time to see if I’m Juggalo-worthy. *Clicks submit.*
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Juggalo
     

     
    Your a True Juggalo, Born With a hatchet and a juggalo face, Cruisin with A trunk full of faygo and a car full of fat chix, and haunted by a Dark Carnival, your hmies are family too, and you believe Santa Clause is a fat bitch. Hallowen is prolly ur favorite Holiday. if this is tru and ur a juggalette you should im me on Aim: IndependentJ0ker (with tha number zero) Much Clown love!
     
    I have no idea how many I got wrong on this quiz, and I don’t want to know. Actually, I'm more afraid of how many I got right. Oh hell, I'll admit it. I own Riddlebox, Tunnel of Love and Milenko (all of them are bought used -- even I have my standards). It's all in good campy fun. Plus they make fun of rednecks. OK, final story for tonight. During the late ‘90s, the better half’s mother watched a bit of pro wrestling, which was odd for me when she’d ask me questions about why the Undertaker wasn’t on television (injury) or why did Bret Hart go from the WWF to the “other place” (OMG VINCE SCREWED BRET). But the strangest encounter came when ICP was with the WWF in that “Oddities” group, and my future mother-in-law said that these two performers were “funny” and that she wanted to know if they were “real” musicians (I’m sure I can put quote marks around the word musicians, too). A short while later I gave her a copy of “Riddlebox” because I knew it would offend her beyond belief (almost as bad as the time I informed her of the “Piss Christ”), and I was right. Why she allowed me to eventually marry her daughter I have no idea.
     
    7 p.m.
     
    • Yesterday I talked about how much I like this time of year. However, there was one little thing I forgot to mention that I absolutely fucking hate. For some reason, when the sun starts shining, and people roll down the windows to their vehicles, many people get the urge to drive like assholes – or at least bigger assholes than they usually drive. I get it. You like to drive fast on a highway. Fine. But then people start weaving in and out of lanes during rush hour traffic just to get an extra car length or two. I witnessed several examples of this today, but the best by far was when one car was on its hood with the wheels still spinning. The funny thing was that there were no other cars hit or property damaged. My guess is that the driver was speeding and took a turn or hit the brakes, resulting in his car taking flight or flipping. Good.
     
    • Whatever.
     

     
    I really don’t care. Last year’s Monday Night crew was “eh,” and I’m sure this trio won’t be much better, or worse. But if this means more J.A. Adande “Jaws” impressions, then I throw my support behind this move.
     
     
    9:30 a.m.
     
    • Get the hell out of here.
     

     
    HOWEVER
     

     
    If there was "good parenting," the kids wouldn't be in daycare in one of these institutions. Yeah, I know, OMG what should SINGLE MOMS and WORKING FAMILIES do~?! and all that shit. How about this: don't have kids before you can afford them.
  11. kkktookmybabyaway
    8 p.m.
     
    • Looks like the winter season is over in my part of the country. This weekend was the first this year when the windows were opened throughout the house. I like the seasonal transition from winter to spring because it’s not too hot where the AC needs turned on and it’s not too cold so that the better half will bitch about being cold – well at least not bitch all that much. Too bad in a few months it’ll be hotter than shit. Then again, it beats snow so I’m not complaining. However, this weather means that pretty soon I’ll have to start mowing the lawn again. In addition, I’m going to have to rake the leaves in the backyard, too. The last two years I raked the leaves in the autumn right before the snow, but this past season I was sick and didn’t get around to doing so. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
     
    • Payback is a bitch, mother fucker.
     

     
    Wait a second.
     

     
    Sonofabitch. It wasn’t Mike Nifong. Wow. Never thought I’d live to see the day where I feel sympathy for a defense lawyer. Then again, if I should ever get dragged into court I’ll probably be showering my Jew lawyer with praise.
     
    • Awesome.
     

     
    Why do I think this is funny? Because Middletown, Ohio, my former residence, is located in Butler County. Oddly enough, there is a Butler county in the southwestern Pennsylvania area, too. It's the county just above Allegheny county (which is where Shittsburgh is located). For those that don't know by now, my county is to the east of Allegheny. While I’m on the subject of Middletown, I remember this story from two years ago, and I don’t think I've mentioned it here before.
     

     
    During my limited time living in Middletown, I never had a problem with the local tax people. Actually, I’ve never had a problem with any local tax people anywhere I have lived. Well, last year my local tax man didn’t cash my April check until the end of May, but whatever. It's local government.
  12. kkktookmybabyaway
    KKK's Top 103 Posters
     

    Number 33: Hawk 34
     
    Even though we have never met, Hawk and I have an unbreakable bond that can never be broken, much like the one I have with fellow poster Gert T. What's that bond? We have all lived in or near the Middletown, Ohio, region. With its unique mix of white and ghetto trash, Middletown has this charm that other, more developed communities lack. Oh there were many a night when I saw the flashing lights of a police car racing down by my townhouse along Clark Street off to catch some hooligans. Speaking of racing, Hawk likes that NASCAR stuff. I don’t know how that’s a redeeming quality to me, seeing I don’t really care about this sport (yes, I call it a sport), but whatever. And you know what, even though he’s been suspected of being the previously banned poster Choken One, I really don’t care. I had no qualms with Choken, so even if Hawk is the “One,” thus swerving nobody on this board but me, big deal. I do have several reasons to believe Hawk isn’t Choken, and one of them is that Hawk has shown me a picture of his squeeze. Even though she is hot, I don’t believe they are cousins. Now if Hawk would have only sent me a picture of her without all those pesky clothes, he might have cracked the Top 20.
     
    And now a word or three from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
     
    From Black Lushus:

     
    From SFA Jack:

     
    From Cancer Marney:

     
    5:45 p.m.
     
    • So I stayed 15 minutes past my normal workday and decided to let the better half, who was home sick, know that I was going to be late. As I told her this over the phone, she then said, “Can you stop and get me a Happy Meal?” (I can already hear the “Vyce” jokes being typed.)
     
    FUCK.
     
    No, it’s not that I hate spending money – well, OK, it’s partly that – but it’s more that Happy Meal = McDonald’s, and the only Golden Arches that’s on the way home from work is a shithole. Well, the store itself isn’t too bad, but all their employees are ghetto trash and the service is awful. Every time I have stopped there, I swear to Christ that it takes at least 10 minutes for them to get an order done. But oh well, I’m a great good average at least I don’t cheat husband, so I went.
     
    I pulled in and the first thing I do is make that all-important decision: Drive-thru or in-store? Generally, my rule is if the drive-thru line is a few cars deep I’ll brave this route; otherwise, just go inside. Because there were no cars in plain sight in the drive-thru I figured what the heck and made my choice. Besides, at this store it really doesn’t matter because no matter where you go – you’re going to be waiting regardless. As I pulled to the speaker and delivered my order I looked at my dashboard clock – 3:52 p.m. I had the “Who Made Who” soundtrack playing and skipped to “Chase the Ace,” my favorite track on the album. I love how that shit picks up as the song continues. As much as I like the first track, the self-titled “Who Made Who,” I can only listen to the first two verses before getting bored, and “For Those About to Rock” has the opposite effect for me; I usually fast-forward to around the 4-minute mark when the cannons start firing. “You Shook Me All Night Long” is another solid offering, but, like “Who Made Who,” I start zoning out after the first verse or two. “Sink the Pink” and “Shake Your Foundations” are good tracks to have on as background noise. I generally don’t pay attention to “Hells Bells.” Those other two tracks – eh. Have I mentioned how awful the movie to this soundtrack is?
     
    3:55 p.m. OK, when I placed my order there were only two vehicles in front of me. And the first automobile hasn’t budged. “Chase The Ace” is over and I want more AC/DC, but no more “Maximum Overdrive” memories. I reach into my portfolio bag and pull out “Highway to Hell.” Good enough, I’ll play “Girls Got Rhythm,” which is, at the moment, my favorite track of the album. Still no movement in the drive-thru line.
     
    3:59 p.m. Oh you got to be fucking kidding me. I waited all this time and the motorist two cars down from me got a tiny bag of food? If there were several drink carriers being handed to him I could understand for the delay, but damn. Maybe a new batch of fries needed greased up or a Fillet o’ Fish had to be made from scratch. “Girls Got Rhythm” is over – maybe there’s enough time to hear some local RIGHT-WING RADIO and listen to the idiotic callers bitch about how Pennsylvania has these gay-ass state liquor stores? Seriously, these things are so fucking retarded. No, we can’t buy booze at a grocery store or a Quickie Mart. Why, that would make all of our kids alcoholics because what if they reach for a gallon of milk and accidentally pick up a six-pack of Bud? Then again, because I’m too lazy to head off to one of these government adult beverage centers I don’t buy alcohol, which saves me a few dollars. That’s one of the things I missed about Ohio – being able to buy alcohol any time, any place (well, almost any place). Jesus Christ this line isn’t moving, and there’s only one car in front of me.
     
    4:02 p.m. Well, the top-of-the-hour newscast is beginning, so it’s time to put in another CD. Let’s see, how about “History of the Clash: Volume I”? I’m in the mood for “The Magnificent Seven” – Ring, ring it’s 7 a.m. There we go. And there goes the motorist. Well, this person actually left during “Wave bye-bye to the boss, it’s our profit it’s his loss,” but that wouldn't have sounded as clever. Now it’s my turn to wait. You know what annoys me? When you are waiting in line for other customers that take forever and a day to get their order, and then when it’s your turn the wait is virtually nil and the cashier gets impatient because you have the nerve to double-check your order. And by double-check I mean look into the bag to make sure a burger and fries are in there. Well, that sorta happened when my order was completed, but drive-thru cashiers are more accustomed to customers doing a quick once-over. Hey, my order is here, and it’s 4:07 p.m. Just in time for “Rock the Casbah.” You know, I often defend rappers for sampling music, but what Will Smith did with that “Will 2K” abortion was too much even for me to handle. Let my memories of this song be of that cute armadillo scampering about.
     
    Fifteen minutes, one Happy Meal, three songs and some RIGHT-WING RADIO banter. And the sad thing is, I thought I'd be waiting longer. Nevertheless, Sharif don't like it. But what am I going to do – declare a jihad? I have no children to strap with explosives, and there's no way I'd turn my kitties into martyrs. Considering they are all fixed, I doubt they would be able to do much with their 40 virgins and all.
     
    8 a.m.
     
    • Whenever you think you suck at your job, just read this.
     

     
    • Al Gore says that the planet has a "fever."
     

     
    So where do we stick the thermometer for a temperature reading?
  13. kkktookmybabyaway
    KKK's Top 103 Posters
     

    Number 34: Carnival
     
    This might come as a surprise to some, seeing how the little pecker beat me in last year’s TSM Poster Tournament. However, he’s a cat person and a juggalo to boot. If you don’t know what a juggalo is, just be thankful and move on. He also comes to the TSM community in hopes that we can pick him a suitable mate, or at least something to stick his wang into for a while – that is before his plan went all to hell.
     
    And now a word or five from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
     
    From Lovecraft:

     
    From Black Lushus:

     
    From ... Carnival:

     
    From SFA Jack:

     
    From Cancer Marney:

     
    6:30 p.m.
     
    • Well, the better half has been sick for the past week or so, and everytime this happens it's only a matter of time before it latches onto me. Today is that day.
     
    2:30 p.m.
     
    • This is funny.
     

     
    Pesonally, I don't want to know how many people will be at my funeral -- I'm guessing two, maybe three.
     
    10 a.m.
     
    • First we’re killing off the polar bears by melting away their frosty homes due to global warming, and now some hippie animal rights people want to off baby bears that become too “human”?
     

     
    Now that last paragraph might seem a little … odd, but otherwise, leave the zoo alone. I’m sure you’ll be able to use this bear in upcoming commie videos claiming that melting ice caps forced little Knut into the waiting arms of the Berlin Zoo.
     
    • Well, yesterday it was Dessa’s turn to go to the vet. Out of the three we have to take every year for their annual checkup/shots, she’s the easiest to deal with. Her defense of stiffing up so as to not get into the carrier doesn’t work, and most of her commotion consists of little, pathetic meows, unlike JJ and Max, who won’t shut up. While at the vet’s I asked about the recent pet food scare.
     

     
    We feed Dessa and JJ Eukanuba, although it’s dry kibble 99.9 percent of the time, so I figured they weren’t in any danger, but you never know (Max gets a special diet due to crystals in his urine). One of the symptoms I read involving this bad food is loss of appetite, which so far rules these three out. Christ, every feeding time is like disturbing rations at a refugee camp.
  14. kkktookmybabyaway
    8 p.m.
     
    • Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
     

     
    And defense lawyers wonder why they're so hated.
     

     
    Now why did I post all of that? To get to this.
     

     
    4:15 p.m.
     
    • You know, I don’t play golf, but there have been a few times in the past where I did my thing on a Par 3 course. And by “did my thing” I mean taking a dozen or so shots to get a ball in a hole in the ground. However, this golfing story brought back a childhood memory.
     

     
    I was at a local Par 3 when I was about 12 or so years old with my old man and his live-in girlfriend at the time, along with some other people, I think. Now anytime I do anything with the old man, it almost always results in some stupid fight. Instead of just going out and having a good time, he always “coaches” me on how a professional would go about hitting a shot (or whatever it was we would be doing at the time). This time was no exception. Instead of just enjoying this time, every shot (or whiff) I made was awful/dreadful/a disgrace. Did I mention before that I have probably golfed a Par 3 a dozen times (20 max) in my life? Anyway, I was on this one hole and was on this slop just off the green. I hit the ball and instead of this being the shot of my life, the goddamn ball hit the pin and went in and out of the hole. Sonofabitch. Years later when I was living in Ohio, the old man took me to a driving range where I was being primed to be the next Tiger Woods. Of course I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, but that didn’t matter. What I found funny was that the old man was bitching because I was taking too long setting up the balls on the tee and hitting them (or at least attempting to make contact). When I attempted to explain to him that I was making sure my “form” wouldn’t make even a novice golfer cringe, he said, “when you’re out on the course you don’t have time to check your form.” Uh, OK. Hey, I’m not the one who purchased this bucket of golf balls, so I don’t care if I only hit them 10 feet. Memories.
     
    • Why do I even watch ESPN? This morning when “Outside the Lines” was on, Bob Ley informed me that John Amaechi, that homo who came out of the closet just long enough to whore his book, has some endorsement deal (with a razor company I think), making him THE FIRST GAY ATHLETE WITH A MAJOR ENDORSEMENT DEAL, or something like that. It was such a retarded statement that even the better half looked up from her medicated semi-coma bout with the flu and commented, “oh who fucking cares already?”
     
    Right after “Outside the Lines,” I had the Sports Reporters on, and I must say that as a kid I used to love this show. As I’ve gotten older, the hippie PC garbage I hear out of many of these so-called “experts” makes me roll my eyes. I’m not going to say it wasn’t like this during my youth because I may have just ignored it or something. Anyway, when Jeremy Schaap gave his “parting words” this week, he talked about how great the NCAA Tournament would be if all the players who could be playing college ball right now (Lebron James, some “Gay” guy from Uconn, etc.). Oh fuck you Jeremy. And what would happen if one of these pro-bound players would blow out a knee or rupture an ACL playing an amateur sport that could be fetching them millions of dollars on the open market? Would you write them a check to pay their mortgage? Oh boo-hoo, the March Madness Tournament isn’t as good as it could be. Get over it, douchebag. The games are exciting enough, and those with the ability to provide for their families are already out earning a living in the real world, something many commie college professors are unable to do and have to suck off the taxpayer’s teet. If a Lebron James really wants to get a college degree, he’s more than able to on his own time and on his own dime. So grin and bear it, Jeremy, and deal with the fact you won’t see James and Greg Oden on the same court sporting Ohio State University jerseys. Asshole.
  15. kkktookmybabyaway
    9 p.m.
     
    KKK's Top 103 Posters
     

     
    Number 36: Vitamin X
     
    This may seem like an odd one to some, especially considering how much he queered up this year’s TSM Poster Tournament. Sorry, but I did not dig this hippie bracketing/seeding shit; that was part of the beauty with Chave’s previous efforts. Each round you didn’t know who was matching up against whom. Which poster would you vote for – the one who posts a bunch regarding sports, or that other member who always was good for a laugh in the LSD folder? This season it just seemed, eh. However, like I said earlier, it’s his contest so it’s his rules. He has complained about the postseason process in my NFL pick ‘em league before, and there’s no way I’m changing the way my contest going to be done, so in the end we’re all even-steven. But I guess I’m supposed to say nice things about V-X; well, many of his people value freedom and opportunity. This is evident by them trying to get away from their shit hole of a country some 90 miles off the coast of Florida in the most imaginative ways possible. Ironically though, V-X would rather live in an America that resembles the commie commune many of his people risk their lives trying to flee. But I have a soft spot in my heart for Cubans. I’d take “those people” coming over on homemade rafts made out of kitchen tubs and wooden boards than those African chicks seeking asylum just because their “culture” gave them circumcisions. Oh boo-hoo, someone took out my clit -- just walk it off and get back in the kitchen. Besides, women aren’t supposed to enjoy sex anyway, and if they want to then they just become lesbians. What was I talking about again? Oh, yeah. V-X. Wait, did I say anything positive about him? Well, I’m sure someone from my panel will. At least I hope they do or else this selection would seem rather silly.
     
    And now a word or four from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
     
    From Black Lushus:
     

     
    From Carnival:
     

     
    From SFA Jack:
     

     
    From Cancer Marney:
     

     
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • Well, Pitt won. BOY THEY SURE SHOWED A LOT OF HEART! <{ <{ <{ <{
     
    I'll laugh if they play UCLA in the next round, considering that guy coaching the Bruins used to be the Panthers' head coach.
     
    8:15 p.m.
     
    • Pitt basketball -- lol. They are playing VCU in overtime, so I don't know how this game will end, but watching the Panthers collapse in the second half (I think they were up by 19 points at one point) made me laugh. I loved how the announcers just said some guy from Pitt just made a three-pointer and commented on his "heart." This is the same player who missed two free-throws with just seconds left in regulation. Yeah. It also annoys me when sportscasters oftentimes say this about the smallest player on the court/field. "Oh, that so-and-so has got the BIGGEST HEART out there." Oh fuck that shit. So a big person can't have any "heart"? Kiss my ass. Just because God made me taller than my opponent that doesn't mean I slouch in my on-the-court efforts. OK, well maybe I did, but I'm sure there are big people out there that tired harder than their smaller opponents. That sports broadcasting line is almost as annoying as the "Oh, I sure wouldn't want to be facing THAT TEAM in the playoffs." Gag, that line makes me want to stab a person's eyes out.
     
    4:45 p.m.
     
    • Mrs. kkk is dealing with a cold, and I had to scoot off to the store for Dayquil and a McDonald’s two cheeseburger value meal (whenever she gets sick, some transfatty fries seem to be just the cure). As I walked into the store I saw a sight that shook me down to my very core while employed in the food-service industry.
     
    Several tables filled with children.
     
    Unless you served up value meals for an extended period of time, you don’t know what it’s like. Trust me. Waiting on families with young children is the worst fucking thing in this world. Not only are kid’s meals a pain in the ass to prepare but most of the time the parents have no control over their heathen spawn so you have to stand there and try to get their complete order while the soccer mom is trying to round up these little demons. I just thank my lucky stars I was out of this line of work before all those Beanie Baby promotions. Good Christ, I would have killed someone. But I digress.
     
    So as I went to the counter I noticed that one line had no customers behind these two guys. I’m pretty good at spotting the quickest line, and I figured that I was fortunate that I entered right when one customer was leaving and I was on the tail end of a line moving up. There were no signs that there were any special orders going down, and there was only one tray by them at the counter. Then I saw two other trays being prepared with about a dozen happy meals being loaded. FUCK.
     
    Sometimes you beat the line game. Sometimes the line game makes you its bitch. Oh well, what doesn’t kill me only makes me wiser. And besides, this extended time I spent at the Golden Arches getting the better half’s lunch was well worth it because while I was gone she got a phone call from her mother that made for some interesting meal-time conversation, which I will sum up below.
     
    It was bound to happen. The out-of-control niece-in-law had yet another fight with her on/off boyfriend, and to “get back at him” she broke into her crackwhore mother’s Xanax supply, swallowed the stash, smoked some crack (according to her story), drove to her part-time beau’s parent’s house (which is where he was staying for spring break) and caused a ruckus. After my laughter died down from hearing this, I was told that she was eventually rushed to the emergency room due to her overdose and will be headed to the psycho ward for a mandatory 72-hour lockup, or whatever it’s called, after she comes off her high. As the better half was telling me this story, she said something I never thought I would hear in a million years from her.
     
    “Boy am I glad I now have your family’s name.”
     
    You got to be kidding me. The same kkk family name that I avoid like the plague? The same family that feels a night is wasted if a bar fight isn’t involved? The same family that gave me shit for not wearing a trenchcoat to my grandmother’s recent funeral? This is the family Mrs. kkk is glad to be named after? Then again, when the niece-in-law was cuffed to her hospital bed the police officers in the room took note of the niece’s last name and said that they knew her crackwhore mother. And I guess the new job she was just hired for – hostess at one of those fancy smacny chain restaurants – will be over before it even starts (she was put on this week’s schedule). Such a shame. Truly.
     
    As I'm typing this, I got "Night of the Living Baseheads" playing. Awesome.
  16. kkktookmybabyaway
    8:45 p.m.
     
    • A while back I made a comment to SFA Jack in a PM about if I won the lotto/wasn’t married/etc. and got to move anywhere I wanted to I might go with Texas. It seems like a conservative enough state and it probably won’t get completely overrun with Mexicans until after I’m dead. However, after seeing an episode of “Cops” this evening, I think I might have to amend this statement. Travis County – lol. I may go with Georgia, but it'd have to be away from all the black people. And away from that humidity, too.
     
    8:15 p.m.
     
    • Well I had the interview today. Yay, I guess. If I was unemployed I’d probably be sleepless in anticipation of a call back, but I’m over all that shit. I had another, in my opinion, solid interview, where I responded to their questions way better than they did mine. All in all, this place seems like a nice place to work. Just the place for me to enter and queer it all up. Actually, it was funny because I got in early and saw the one chick escorting another candidate for this job out. He must have been the interviewee for that previous hour, and he was leaving at 50 past the hour. When arranging this interview, I was told to expect to be there an hour, so this kid was leaving with 10 minutes to spare. I knew this person wasn’t going to get the job over me. Christ, he didn’t even wear a jacket to the interview and looked like a goddamn slob. I came in, did my thing and left after 80 minutes. Hell, I’ve been on interviews that were supposed to last one hour and ended up being 3-4 hours and I still didn’t get called back, so I don’t normally go by “time spent.” Hell, there have been times when I knew I wasn’t getting the job, but I stayed and asked a buttload of questions just to piss off my interviewer. Hey, you want to waste my time, I’ll waste yours.
     
    I should hear back from them next week if I’m getting called back. Will I get called back? Don’t know, don’t care. Like I said earlier, I’ve stopped caring about trying to figure out how I did at an interview. I’ll objectively judge my performance afterward and decide what I did good (did my best to keep in contact with all three interviewers in the room and answered all questions with thorough examples) and what needed improving (I caught myself slouching a few times). One thing that will probably go against me is being “overqualified,” which I find funny because I’ve been on interviews in year’s past when I’ve actually had people tell me all the duties that would be required of this position, and when I address each requirement point-by-point, it was then I got fed the over-qualified line. But it all works out in the end, and what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Either that, or sends you to the grave at an early age due to a heart attack.
     
    • Que?
     

     
    Elections? Now that's funny.
     
    • Over the last few days I’ve been playing my Public Enemy collection, and I must say that for years I have always preferred “Fear of a Black Planet” over “It Takes a Nation of Millions.” However, I think that’s starting to change. I’ve been preferring the PE’s second album in recent listenings over their third effort, and I think it’s going to stay that way for a while – although I’ve always LOVED “Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos.” One of my favorite lines: “My plan said I had to get out and break north/Just like with Oliver’s neck/I had to get off.”
     
    • Fuck these Jew bastards.
     

     
    Here’s my Bally’s story. When I was 18 I signed up for some hippie plan, and the plan was like $30 per month for a few years, $20 per month for a few years and then $6 per month for LIFE. As the years went by I didn’t go to Bally’s as much due to my college/full-time job schedule and my gym wasn’t open during the times I wanted to work out. But I had the extra money to spend and I figured with that $6 per month for LIFE quickly approaching, what have I got do lose?
     
    Apparently, I had $6 per month for LIFE to lose. Oh, did I say $6? I meant $20. The first month after I made my first $6 per month for LIFE payment, I was informed that they were jacking up my LIFETIME PAYMENTS to the level it had previously been at, which around $20, or something like that. Fuck you Bally’s, fuck you right in the ear. Speaking of gyms, I always found it funny that people who went there to get in shape would illegally park in fictional spots next to the gym because they were too lazy to park in the back of a full lot and spend a few minutes WALKING to the front door.
     
    • Oh, here’s another PE line I love from “Rebel Without a Pause” that just got played: “From a rebel it’s final on black vinyl/Soul, rock and roll comin’ like a rhino.” And for those that wracked their brain over my question of where did the line, “Now Freeze … Music Please,” come from? “It’s My Thing,” from EPMD’s first album “Strictly Business.” However, I made two faux pas – the “hip-hop” beat I refer to comes after “Music Please,” not before, and the line goes "And then I yell freeze." Man, I bet this cost me some street cred. Whatever, my favorite track on "Strictly Business" has always been "Let the Funk Flow" anyway.
  17. kkktookmybabyaway
    8 p.m.
     
    KKK's Top 103 Posters
     

     
    Number 37: AlwaysPissedOff
     
    Now one would think with him being all African-American and shit that this would be an appropriate user name. But the strange thing is I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pissed off, or even slightly irritated for that matter. And he’s been in my kkk Bowl league since the beginning, so he has to be aware of my unwavering RACISM. After a few lean seasons, Mr. APO has made the last two postseasons, and even came within one victory of a kkk Bowl III appearance (yet another person with every right to hate a certain peckerwood with a title involving a bunch of jumbled letters and numbers). However, he does seem like an angry black man fo’ sho’ here. And he sure misses those BK cheese sticks. Nevertheless, I’ll be secretly pulling for him should kkk Bowl V commence in ’07-’08. Well, it won’t be so secret now.
     
    And now a word from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
     
    From Cancer Marney:

     
    3 p.m.
     
    • Crap, I need to get going on this year's Brackkketology before it's too late. Might as well start with the "play-in" game -- does it really matter who wins this? I say Niagara will FALL to the other team. Get it? Niagara, Fall. Oh, I'm a regular laugh riot.
     
    FIRST ROUND
     
    Florida (1), Jackson State (16)
    Arizona (8), Purdue (9)
    Butler (5), Old Dominion (12) Will that loss to Wright State in Butler’s conference championship game be a wake-up call or an omen of things to come? I’m hoping for the former.
    Maryland (4), Davidson (13)
    Notre Dame (5), Winthrop (11)
    Oregon (3), Miami of Ohio (14) Fuck Miami O – I hope they get crushed.
    UNLV (7), Georgia Tech (10)
    Wisconsin (2), Tex A&M CC (15)
     
    Kansas (1) Whoever (16)
    Kentucky (8), Villanova (9)
    Virginia (5), Illinois (12) They were good a few years ago. Yeah, great logic picking them now.
    Southern Illinois (4), Holy Cross (13)
    Duke (6), VCU (11)
    Pittsburgh (3), Wright State (14) Oh I am so tempted to pick WSU in this one, but I expect the Panthers to crap out in Round 2.
    Indiana (7), Gonzaga (10) Please God let the Zags lose in the first round; I don’t want to hear another “OMG THEY’RE A CINDERELLA STORY” again.
    UCLA (2), Weber State (15)
     
    North Carolina (1), Eastern Kentucky (16)
    Marquette (8), Michigan State (9)
    Southern Cal (5), Arkansas (12)
    Texas (4), New Mexico State (13)
    Vanderbilt (6), George Washington (11)
    Washington State (3), Oral Roberts (14)
    Boston College (7), Texas Tech (10)
    Georgetown (2), Belmont (15)
     
    Ohio State (1), Central Conn. State (16)
    BYU (8), Xavier (9)
    Tennessee (5), Long Beach (12)
    Virginia (4), Albany (13)
    Louisville (6), Stanford (11)
    Texas A&M (3), Penn (14)
    Nevada (7), Creighton (10)
    Memphis (2), North Texas (15)
     
    SECOND ROUND
     
    Florida (1), Purdue (9)
    Maryland (4), Butler (5)
    Oregon (3),Winthrop (11)
    Wisconsin (2), Georgia Tech (10)
     
    Kansas (1), Villanova (9)
    Southern Illinois (4), Illinois (12)
    Pitt (3), Duke (6)
    UCLA (2), Indiana (7)[/b]
     
    UNC (1), Marquette (8)
    Texas (4), Southern Cal (5)
    Washington State (3), George Washington (11)
    Georgetown (2), Boston College
     
    Ohio State (1), Xavier (9)
    Virginia (4), Tennessee (5)
    Texas A&M (3), Louisville (6)
    Memphis (2), Creighton (10)
     
    THIRD ROUND
    Florida (1), Maryland (4)
    Wisconsin (2), Oregon (3)
     
    Kansas (1), Southern Illinois (4)
    UCLA (2), Duke (6)
     
    North Carolina (1), Texas (4)
    Georgetown (2), George Washington (11)
     
    Ohio State (1) Tennessee (5)
    Memphis (2), Louisville (6)
     
    FOURTH ROUND
    Florida (1), Oregon (3)
    Kansas (1), UCLA (2)
    Georgetown (2), Texas (4)
    Ohio State (1), Louisville (6)
     
    FINAL FOUR
    Florida (1), UCLA (2)
    Ohio State (1), Texas (4)
     
    FINAL TWO
    Ohio State (1), Florida (1) Revenge for the BcS Bowl-thingy.
     
    Jesus Christ, I barely picked any upsets. Well, I’m a pussy, so what do you expect? Now that my picks are out in the open, it’s time to guess what will really happen:
     
    Notre Dame and Virginia Tech will reach the Final Four, that guy from Texas will blow out his knee in the first round, and Central Conn. State will be the first 16 seed ever to upset a number 1. Too bad I’ll forget what teams I picked by this time tomorrow.
     
    9 a.m.
     
    • Oh no, now the integrity of ... uh, movie boxing, will be FOREVER TAINTED!
     

     
    So when Stallone was killing all those gooks in Rambo II he was CHEATING?! And lol at that Rocky IV scene where he was training the "old-fashioned" way (carrying heavy stuff and chopping wood) while his commie opponent was roiding up.
  18. kkktookmybabyaway
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • Just found out that the out-of-control niece-in-law has an STD -- lol. I don't know what it's called, but it involves warts, probably leads to cancer and is not going away. When the grandmother confronted her on this sometime today (they found out about this from some gynecology tests that showed "abnormalities"), I was told the niece replied, "It's not an STD. I got it from having multiple sexual partners." When the Web MD printout was shown to her stating that this was indeed a virus, she replied "thanks for ruining my afternoon."
     
    6:30 p.m.
     
    • So I'm at work with the Best of Sean Hannity playing in the background (that's a joke just waiting to be delivered) when he gets a caller talking about how some person got voted off from "American Idol" because she sang a song from the Dixie Terrorists. Oh, and Hannity agreed with him.
     
    9:45 a.m.
     
    • I didn't realized I had so many non-auto-setting clocks. Jesus Christ.
     
    • Actually, I hope you'll be more like the RFK of 2008.
     

     
    And don't forget to stop by the California primary.
     
    Now FREEZE...
     
    *hip-hop beat*
     
    Music please.
     
    Anyone that correctly guesses where those last three lines are from gets moved up an extra spot on the Top 103 list.
     
    1:30 a.m.
     
    • So Captain America bit the big one.
     

     
    After reading this place's "Civil War" thread it sounds like he turned into a terrorist anyway, so I say good riddance. The only comic book characters I ever paid attention to (i.e. read more than two of their issues) were Batman, Sgt. Rock and the Punisher. Even though I probably missed out on 99.9 percent of the jokes, I found this funny nevertheless.
  19. kkktookmybabyaway
    3 p.m.
     
    • I'm sure there's an EricMM joke to be made here, but I'm in a hurry so I'll leave it up to your imagination.
     

     
    At least the Nazis made lampshades from recycled material.
     
    • Well, I haven’t checked out what the NBA has been up to in a while. Might as well see who is where in the standings. Atlantic Division: Hey, there’s a team over .500, and it’s Toronto. The Knicks are only six games below the mediocre mark, and the Celtics … well, I knew they had a long losing streak, which is a shame because I liked their head coach Doc Rivers as a player – I haven’t followed his coaching career that close. Central Division: Detroit is tops in the conference. For that meltdown of theirs in the playoffs last year against Miami, and with Ben Wallace leaving for the Bulls, they are doing pretty darn well. Cleveland is the number two seed (in record); now will they go farther in the postseason this time?Chicago is doing pretty well, I guess. Southeast Division: Wasn’t Orlando in first place? Now it’s Washington? Doesn’t matter, Miami is starting to play well, even with Wade out. There’s Orlando … as the number 8 seed? And the Hawks aren’t in last place? Northwest Division: Utah is in first, has a 42-19 record and is seeded fourth in the Conference. Meanwhile, their .689 winning percentage is better than Detroit’s .627. Looks like that AI/Anthony combo isn’t doing so well. Eh, they have the seventh seed and probably weren’t going to go that far anyway in the West. I’ve been hearing how the Timberwolves have been wasting Kevin Garnett’s career, but considering he signed a $100+ million contract, I really don’t care. Portland and Seattle, eh. Pacific Division. Phoenix is doing good, as usual, and I hope they win it all, only because this might make more teams aim for a run ‘n gun style of play. I don’t think they’ll get past Dallas, though. There’s Kobe and the Lakers 14.5 games back followed by the Clippers – they did good last year and now they’re an eighth seed. Interesting. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. Pacific Division: Dallas is 51-9 – didn’t they lose their first four games of the season? Wow. San Antonio is having a great year and Houston is playing .600 ball. New Orleans and Memphis, eh.
     
    • While I’m on the subject of basketball, I remember a while back Tracy McGrady made some remarks about how he wouldn’t feel comfortable in New Orleans should the NBA have an All-Star game there next year.
     

     
    I remember the Around the Horn guys scolding T-Mac for this. Yeah, how dare McGrady say that New Orleans isn’t safe. I’m siding with McGrady on this one. I remember a while back he missed some important games because he was expecting the birth of his child. More power to him. I forget who it was, but at least one panelist said that McGrady should hire personal security guards and go to New Orleans. Fuck that. If he doesn’t want to go, then don’t go. Just … sprain your ankle a few days prior to the event.
     
    • Well, it’s time to go to this wedding thing. Should be back Saturday night. I’m not sure if my friend’s family is somewhat normal or white trash like mine, so I doubt there will be any worthwhile stories to tell.
  20. kkktookmybabyaway
    1 p.m.
     
    • I have joked in the past that a baby who survives a Planned Parenthood vacuum is a failed abortion. Wow, was I right.
     

     
    You know, you could always put the kid up for adoption, you dumb bitch. And now that this has gone public, I can't wait until this kid heads off to school. The schoolyard teasing will be the stuff of legend. I wonder if she at least got her money back from this procedure?
     
    9 a.m.
     
    • This stuff just writes itself.
     

     
    Maybe OJ's sperm would move quicker if a woman's egg was a bucket of fried ch... Nah, way too easy.
     
    7 a.m.
     
    • You know what sucks about being an adult (in age, if not in mind)? All those ... responsibilities. On Monday, the better half's father went to the hospital because he felt dizzy and was throwing up early that morning. He stayed overnight and yesterday Mrs. kkk and I paid him a visit. When we were there a doctor said that his tests came back fine (for an obese, 60-something smoker) and that he would be free to go. Of course, this meant we had to wait more than an hour for someone else to give him a piece of paper that would sign him out. After taking him home, it was time to do our Tuesday grocery shopping. When the last item was stocked in the fruit celler, it was 10 p.m. I then thought, "Yay, now I get to go back to work in eight hours." Oh well. It could be worse. I could have children.
     
    • Oh boy, my local morning RIGHT-WING RADIO guy just said, "we'll talk more about the Scooter Libby trial in the next hour." Guess I'll be listening to music until Boortz comes on in 90 minutes.
  21. kkktookmybabyaway
    11:30 p.m.
     
    • I feel safer already.
     

    • Boy, we folks from the Keystone State are sure getting our tax money's worth. And Fast Eddie wants to raise them even more.  

     
    Figures this took place in eastern PA -- this week's snowfall wasn't that bad here. The salt trucks did what they could, but it's not like you can go out and instanly melt away the snow and ice right as it's coming down from the sky. Then again, this whole clusterfuck was pretty damn funny.
     
    • DEVELOPING~!!!
     

    And why exactly am I supposed to care about this? 
    • Damn, a $2.6 lottery payday only amounted to an $871,000 lump sum after taxes and all that stuff. I can't wait until these people claim bankruptcy.
     

     
    If I ever won the lottery, I don't know if I'd go with the lump sum or the spread-it-out-over-30-year thing. It would probably depend on how much I'd be getting back. If I won some uber-large jackpot -- you know, those $100+ million Powerballs, I'd probably go with the 30-year deal. Not only would I get more money, but also getting seven figures over multiple years would be a good way to avoid the "lottery curse." If the amount was smaller, say, $2.6 million, I don't know what I'd do -- I'd have to see the 30-year payout. If it's not much more than the $870k, I might have taken the lump sum as well. Then again, I don't play the lottery so it's all a moot point.
  22. kkktookmybabyaway
    6:45 p.m.
     
    • So Jim Rome’s ESPN show and Around the Horn got all PC (as usual) by everyone going hooray for Illinois getting rid of the Indian mascot. Jesus Christ, get over yourselves. Don’t equate this with the white man wiping out the tribe of Chief I-Was-Stupid-For-Letting-Those-Crackers-Off-The-Boat. I feel NO sympathy for the hippie Indians. They had the home field advantage and blew it. My people came over, they saw, they kicked ass. Now I’m supposed to feel sorry? Fuck that. Yeah, whitey is a fucked up people, but it’s not like the Indians were these heavenly pacifists: they could tear shit up when they wanted. And besides, with the recent winter freeze I went through, there’s no way I want to live in a wigwam.
     
    • I’ve been hearing for a few weeks that the Bears head coach Lovie Smith is one of the lowest paid NFL head coaches in the league, if not the lowest-paid. Must be RACISM! Or it might be that he’s employed by a bunch of Jews. Here’s how I see it: Lovie, you seem to be doing the right thing. Just keep your mouth shut and coach. Take the million-and-change and win another divisional title. Then when your contract ends go out there and get paid like a mo’ fo’. You’re a coach, not a player. You don’t have to worry about tearing an ACL on the field. You have a good team in a shitty division. Build up your worth and laugh in the face of Bears’ management when they try to low-ball you with no leverage at this time next year. I’ve heard from media reports that you like it in Chicago. If that’s the case, then you’ll have to live with the fact that you work for a bunch of tightwads. Believe me, I feel your pain. Well, maybe not so much since I don’t make seven figures, but I’m not here to do the class envy thing. You’re worth more than what you’re getting paid. You have to decide if getting shafted in the pocketbook is worth staying. For me it wouldn’t be, but you know much more about your situation than I do.
     
    • So yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and even though I’m a confirmed Lutheran I still have to do the no-meat shit since the better half is as Catholic as youth sodomy. Of course, while beginning my meatless meal, she yells because I’m having double-noodle soup.
     
    Her: “What’s that?”
     
    Me: “Double Noodle Soup. You know, the kind you don’t eat anymore and I have to finish off.”
     
    Her: “OMG IT HAS CHICKEN IN IT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
     
    Me: “It says ‘double noodle.”
     
    Her: “IT HAS CHICKEN BROTH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
     
    Me: “Well then I guess I’m going to hell.”
     
    Chicken broth? You have to fill an empty Campbell’s can up with water to cook this shit. Even sausage factories allow a certain amount of rat poop into their product. I’m sure God has some quality-control exemptions. If not, then oh well. I’m actually hoping that I get past the Pearly Gates thanks to some package deal I’m hoping Mrs. kkk gets for all the religious shit she does.
     
    1 p.m.
     
    • I don't know why I thought of this just now, but those mobile phone ads featuring Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley make me laugh, especially the one where the blonde chick thinks Chuck is Wade's dad.
     
    8:30 a.m.
     
    • Uh-oh. O.J. Simpson has to give up some of his loot to the Goldman family.
     

     
    I hope this doesn't make him mad enough to kill. Allegedly, of course.
  23. kkktookmybabyaway
    8:15 a.m.
     
    • So I went into the Sports folder and read something that shook me to my very core. TOM BRADY HAD SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE?!
     

    I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. I thought he was saving himself for Mrs. Right, or better yet, me. Oh well, maybe he could start up a club with Matt Leinart or something. 
    • Uh, OMG Culture of Corruption and all that shit.
     

  24. kkktookmybabyaway
    8 p.m.
     
    • I almost forgot. On the drive home from work today through pseudo-hippieville, I came across a bumper sticker that got a laugh out of me. "Frodo failed -- Bush got the Ring!"
     
    7:30 p.m.
     
    • In response to the comments going on from yesterday’s entry, here’s some advice to SFAJack: Just accept it the blue towels. The sooner you do, the better off you'll be. Don’t try to figure out the female species. It ain’t worth it. Believe me, I know what you’re going through. My life is filled with similar eye-rolling moments. The trick is to be selective in what you want to piss her off with. Take this afternoon while we were driving to the grocery store. Remember that March 10 wedding we’re going to? Here’s what she said during our drive.
     
    Her: “It’s only one more week before we’re going to Ohio.”
     
    Me: “What are you talking about.“
     
    Her: “Only one more Saturday to go.”
     
    Me: “Huh?”
     
    Her: “What.”
     
    Me: “We got more than two weeks to before the wedding.”
     
    Her: “No we don’t.”
     
    Me: “You’re insane.”
     
    Her: “Well, this week’s almost over…”
     
    Me: “IT’S TUESDAY!”
     
    Her: “Yes, and just one more week.”
     
    Me: “But that wedding is on the SATURDAY of the following week after your ‘one more week.’”
     
    Her: “Nevermind. You don’t understand.”
     
    Me: “You’re right. I don’t understand. There are EIGHTEEN DAYS BEFORE MARCH 10. How do you get one week from that?”
     
    Her: “I hate you. I really hate you.”
     
    Me: “Shut up ho.”
     
    3 p.m.
     
    • Wow. There's a 5-4 ruling on the Supreme Court, but check out who sided where.
     

    7:30 a.m. 
    • Damn you George W. Bush. If these gas prices weren't so damn high, then maybe these people could afford their crack, thus not having to drive off, resulting in cutting the poor dealer in half. A dealer who was just trying to make ends meet in this economy. I wonder if you can sue a tax cut?
     

  25. kkktookmybabyaway
    6:45 p.m.
     
    • Mike Awesome died?
     

    Well, that’s not awesome news.  

     
    Wait, he hanged himself? Fuck him then.
     

     
    He was a realtor? Oh come on, there are worse things to be in life. I'm sure there are number of other "retired" wrestlers doing much worse.
     
    • So the better half and I got into a bit of a disagreement over Sunday’s shopping at the nearby “Bed Bath & Beyond.” No, we weren’t arguing about soap dishes or any of that other shit. Long story short: We’re going to Ohio for a wedding in March, and we decided to do the wedding registry shopping thing. Now I’m the first person to admit I’m an asshole and there are quite a few screws loose in my view of the world. However, even though I’m an asshole, I’m a loyal asshole. I wanted to get several mid-priced items that they could use, even if they moved away. Mrs. kkk wanted to get a big gift. I said we should go with my route for several reasons. The primary one was that, unlike the kkk household, this couple hasn’t lived in sin all that long, if at all. They would need more household items. Mrs. kkk then bitched about how they wouldn’t think we bought them much. I had to laugh and remind her that she make a fucking inventory of what everyone bought for us at our wedding. I think these two college graduates would take note that we purchased five items ranging in price from $15-25. When it was all said and done, we spent $110 on a cookbook holder thing, a cutting board thing, a spice rack, a shower curtain and an electric can opener. At least the spice rack was on sale.
     
    This of course brought back memories of my wedding gifts and how we got Jewed to the point I was considering changing my name to kkk-stein. Here’s a lesson, people. You may not like gift registries. I understand. You may not think the gifts you’d be getting won’t be personal. After all, a wedding registry is like an adult’s What-I-Want-From-Santa list. If that’s the case, then either give money or a gift card to a major department store. DON’T BUY SOMETHING A COUPLE DOESN’T NEED. Don’t think getting a “picnic set” complete with four plastic glasses and a pitcher that holds less water than its accompanying glasses is a good idea. Also, don’t be a goddamn Jew. Let me give a real-life example involving one of our TSM brethren.
     
    For my wedding, Swift Terror got us a towel set. You know, the big towels you dry yourself off with, the medium-sized ones I never use, and the little wash rags. That’s good. Want to know what’s bad? On of the better half’s relatives WHO JUST BOUGHT ONE FUCKING TOWEL. Although Swift Terror actually paid attention to our registry, I still need to kick his ass because those were the towels that prompted the better half to paint our first-floor bathroom from a perfectly acceptable light blue motif to one that’s shit brown. (If you look through the door's crack, you can see said towels.)
     

     
    And why did she decided to paint the WHOLE BATHROOM? So the walls would MATCH THE COLOR OF THOSE TOWELS that are for decoration only. Oh, and she wanted to have these stencils up.
     

     
    Now I don't personally blame Swift Terror for this defiling because I knew the better half wanted to do this. He just provided the ammo. After all, once you get a nice set of towels, you just HAVE to repaint a whole room before hanging them up, right?
     
    So take it from kkk. If you don’t want to buy a decent wedding gift, then don’t go to the wedding. And if you got me calling you a Jew, you know you got problems.
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