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kkktookmybabyaway

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Blog Entries posted by kkktookmybabyaway

  1. kkktookmybabyaway
    10 p.m.
     
    • Detroit? You don't say.
     

     
    • Don't you know that not allowing a cherry to pop on a person's wedding night is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male? From across the Pond.
     

     
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • So I just got back from watching "Beowolf" movie. And just how many marriages does Angelina Jolie destroy? God almighty. And for the last week or so the better half has been going batshit over this thing. "OMG it's all in CGI. OMG OMG OMG." No big deal, I thought. Bunch of special effects. Then several minutes in I notice the whole thing looks like a Pixar movie. "What is this shit?" I say.
     
    "It's all CGI. I told you this."
     
    "The WHOLE thing?"
     
    "Yes. Don't you ever listen to anything I say?"
     
    It was there. Didn't read the book/poem/whatever. Don't care.
     
    4:45 p.m.
     
    • So Swift Terror’s wife just popped out a kid. Here’s how the conversation between me and Mrs. kkk took place when I told her the news.
     
    “Mrs. Terror just squirted out a kid.”
     
    “What? They weren’t due for another few weeks. What happened?”
     
    “Dunno.”
     
    “What sex is it?”
     
    “Dunno. Looked like a boy.”
     
    “What is his name?”
     
    “Dunno. But there was a name on a card/poster in one of the pictures he sent me.”
     
    "What was it?"
     
    "Dunno."
     
    And here’s a conversation we had about the baby monitor we got the Terror household a little while back.
     
    “Did Swift Terror tell you that they got the baby monitor delivered?”
     
    “No.”
     
    “Then how do we know if somebody didn’t steal it from their front door?”
     
    “Because they live in an all-white neighborhood.”
     
    “But what if it got stolen?”
     
    “Well we have the receipt, so we’re covered if they bitch about us not sending them anything.”
     
    I swear to Christ she was so obsessed about the Terror household getting this hippie baby monitor that I’m sure it would have been less annoying if she were the one eight months knocked up. Besides, she’s didn’t want to spend that much on Swift Terror anyway because she hates him and his wife. Did I just type that? Oh well, what’s the chance of him actually reading this anyway? Oh, here’s another difference between men and women. These are actual quotes that were said upon learning of the Terror’s newest download.
     
    Her: “Well I’m glad we got them that monitor when we did because they can put it to good use.”
     
    Me: “I’m glad we got the monitor to them early so that $100 we spent won’t be as big a waste as I thought it would.”
     
    And as I told Terror via PM, the thought of being responsible for another human life in this world just scares the shit out of me. Hell, we lost Dessa when we first brought her home as a kitten 5 minutes into her stay with us (she was hiding behind some Genesis cartridge boxes).
  2. kkktookmybabyaway
    8 p.m.
     
    • So it was 5:30 p.m. and “Around the Horn” was finishing up. Then I see it on the bottom part of my television screen.
     
    OMG BARRY BONDS INDICTED STAY TUNED FOR THE LATEST
     
    That was my cue to change the channel.
     
    I went about my life for several house and without thinking about it I turn on ESPN for some reason or another at 7:30 p.m.
     
    They were still talking about Barry f’n Bonds.
     
    Come on people – he got INDICTED! I could indicted for ‘roids. You could get indicted for ‘roids. I find it funny it took this long and cost God knows how much money. And this is coming from Barry Hater #1.
     
    • You know, I always wondered what would happen in a situation like this. Now I do. Score one for California this time. Well, at least the part of the state that the blacks and Hispanics haven't invaded ... yet.
     

     
    Uh oh, here comes the R word...
     

     
    Here's some more good stuff.
     

     
    • I didn’t read any farther than the headline.
     

     
    I don’t want to. I’m sure whatever the plan will cost $1 million and end up with a $5 billion tab after six months.
  3. kkktookmybabyaway
    kkk's Top 103 Posters
     

     
    Number 6: Black Lushus
     
    He’s black and he’s got mad hoes. Or at least that’s what his member title once said. Actually, Mr. Lushus is from Nebraska, has legitimate children and works a full-time job, so what little street cred he had is long gone. Hell, he’s completely sold out by becoming a message board administrator over at the other place; instead of being oppressed, he’s become The Man holding others down. Then again, I guess you could claim pimpage or something if you really wanted. With all that said, there are two things that would (and should) put Black in anyone’s Top XX list. 1) Three certain words. 2) He befriended a fellow poster in real life and has allowed his young daughter around said poster. Who is this person -- someone in his 30s with a steady job and family of his own?
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

     
    Not quite.
     
    9 p.m.
     
    • I was Googling, came across this and laughed.
     

     
    8 p.m.
     
    • So I heard this morning that the Steelers busted out their ALL-TIME TEAM or whatever it’s being called. It’s the franchise’s 75th anniversary, so naturally they’re doing gay stuff like this all season long. Time to guess who made it to this squad.
     
    Quarterback: Terry Bradshaw.
     
    Running Back: Jerome Bettis.
     
    Fullback: Franco Harris.
     
    Tight End: Trick question – the Steelers, until recently, never used them. I guess Bennie Cunningham since he never got to do anything but block while he played.
     
    Wide Receivers: Lynn Swann, John Stallworth, Hines Ward.
     
    Tackles: No clue.
     
    Guards: Alan Faneca. That’s all I got.
     
    Center: Mike Webster.
     
    Defensive Ends: No clue. Was L.C. Greenwood a tackle or end?
     
    Defensive Tackles: Joe Greene, Casey Hampton.
     
    Outside Linebackers: Jack Ham, Greg Lloyd.
     
    Middle Linebacker: Jack Lambert.
     
    Cornerbacks: Mel Blount, Rod Woodson.
     
    Free Safety: No clue.
     
    Strong Safety: No clue. My guess is Donnie Shell, although I have a feeling Troy Pala-whatever will be named.
     
    Kicker: Gary Anderson.
     
    Punter: No clue. I’ll say Josh Miller.
     
    Yeah, I know I named people from the 1970s, 90s and 00s – sue me. The Steelers were terrible until the ‘70s. Time to see the actual squad.
     
    OFFENSE
     
    Terry Bradshaw - Quarterback (1970-83).
    I still find it funny that even after winning two Super Bowls, he was benched in favor of a crackhead.
     
    Jerome Bettis - Running Back (1996-05).
     
    Rocky Bleier - Running Back (1968, 1970-80).
    OK, so they went with three “running backs.” They have to give Rocky a break since his ex-wife beat him down in the court hearings.
     
    Franco Harris - Running Back (1972-83).
    If memory serves, I thought Franco played in the fullback position. Eh, whatever.
     
    Bennie Cunningham - Tight End (1976-85).
     
    Elbie Nickel - Tight End (1947-57).
    No clue.
     
    John Stallworth - Wide Receiver (1974-87).
     
    Lynn Swann - Wide Receiver (1974-82).
     
    Hines Ward - Wide Receiver (1998-Present).
     
    Larry Brown – Offensive Tackle (1971-84).
    I forgot about this guy. Shit.
     
    Dermontti Dawson – Center (1988-00).
    I love Dawson, but I only did one player per position. The least the Steelers can do is put Mike Webster on the list since he took roids and shortened his life so black and gold fans could feel good and stuff. Wait, he took drugs as a choice. Oh well.
     
    Alan Faneca – Guard (1998-Present).
     
    Tunch Ilkin – Offensive Tackle (1980-92).
    Interesting. I liked Tunch’s local radio show when it was on. Didn’t realize he was that good.
     
    Jon Kolb – Offensive Tackle (1969-81).
    Heard the name. That’s all I got.
     
    Mike Webster – Center (1974-88).
     
    DEFENSE
     
    Joe Greene – Defensive Tackle (1969-81)
     
    L.C. Greenwood – Defensive End (1969-81)
    Ha. He was an end.
     
    Casey Hampton – Nose Tackle (2001-Present)
     
    Ernie Stautner – Defensive Tackle (1950-63)
    Dunno.
     
    Dwight White – Defensive End (1971-80)
    OK. If they say so.
     
    Jack Ham – Outside Linebacker (1971-82)
     
    Jack Lambert – Middle Linebacker (1974-84)
     
    Greg Lloyd – Outside Linebacker (1988-97)
     
    Joey Porter – Outside Linebacker (1999-2006)
    Cool. Joey got on the list.
     
    Andy Russell – Outside Linebacker (1963, 1966-76)
    I’d have him on the list if I was going with multiple players at a single position.
     
    Mel Blount – Cornerback (1970-83)
     
    Jack Butler – Defensive Back (1951-59)
    Que?
     
    Carnell Lake – Safety (1989-98)
    Didn’t realize he was an “all-timer.”
     
    Troy Polamalu – Safety (2003-Present)
    Come on, guys. He’s only played a few seasons.
     
    Donnie Shell – Safety (1974-87)
     
    Rod Woodson – Cornerback (1987-96)
     
    SPECIALISTS
     
    Gary Anderson – Kicker (1982-94)
     
    Bobby Walden – Punter (1968-77)
    Derp.
     
    Boo. The Steelers took the Jew route and put multiple people in certain positions.
     
    4 p.m.
     
    • So yesterday I talked about Mrs. kkk’s workplace a bit. Basically, she works in a study about crazy people, and the topic is stupid as hell. It’s something like trying to see if women drug addicts have more risky sex than those that don’t. Whatever. The pay is hella good, and the study will last several more years. After that, the better half can ride her boss’s teet for the next study she starts up, then the study after that. Now her boss has a Ph.D. and is still on the young side of things (40s, I think), so this will be a nice gravy train for years to come. Then again, being a Ph.D. and employed through a university, this doesn’t mean Mrs. kkk’s boss is well adjusted. For instance, she’s arranging an open house in the near future that is nothing more than a suck-up-fest for her boss and other people making more than her six-figure salary. So what did Mrs. kkk and her fellow co-worker on this study have to do today? Have a pre-planning pizza party meeting. Jesus Christ.
     
    Oh, and on my side of things, my work monitor that’s more than 10 years old finally died. Time to go to the hippie Mac store and get a new one. Of course, the last time I was at this place I first had to get a price quote for all the shit I was to get (a new work computer and updated software), have someone from work write out a check and then go to the store and purchase the shit. Of course, the problem with this was that the dollar amount was too high and the check wasn’t accepted. I then just put everything on my credit card and got reimbursed for it, which is what I wanted to do all along because that would make the process easier. Thank God I was able to do that again this year. And thank God I was able to find a somewhat decent parking space. Christ is this part of Shittsburgh a left-wing hell hole; talk about being a pilgrim in an unholy land. Oh, yeah. I also suck at parallel parking. I think that’s a big reason many people live in the suburbs – to simply pull into a driveway/garage.
  4. kkktookmybabyaway
    8 p.m.
     
    • Hmmm, when the better half went to get tickets for Hannah Montana's Shittsburgh show, she wasn't able to order them on-line. Then again, she wasn't in the super-secret club that this article mentions. However, there was a bit of a local brouhaha because it seemed people dumb devoted enough to sign up for that super-secret club weren't able to get tickets either. I blame the Bush Administration.
     

     
    And for the record, Mrs. kkk was trying to get the tickets for her one niece.
     
    7:15 p.m.
     
    • Well I hope he at least got one big time-out.
     

     
    Speaking of "kids," remember that invader who ran off to Mexico with his teacher? Peep this.
     

     
    So wait a second. I thought 13-year-old boys were just getting their mack on with female teachers that they boink. Now they're "victims" of "sex crimes"? Which is it?
  5. kkktookmybabyaway
    10: 30 p.m.
     
    • Global warming blahblahblah.
     

     
    You know, can you guy worry about genocide and stuff before trying to tackle this sort of stuff?
     
    10 p.m.
     
    • I saw the opening to this article without the dateline in view.
     

     
    Time to guess where the story took place -- Alabama, West Virginia, Mississippi?
     
    Try Washington.
     
    9 p.m.
     
    • So the better half and I went to the local Chinese buffet today, and they (thankfully) hired some chick who spoke English to make customer transactions. Now I don’t know if this chick was naturally well-endowed or if it was the low-cut shirt doing most of the talking; however, this was a prime example of a “cleavage trap.” I’m sorry, but I’m a believer in “less is more.” If a woman has to showcase her goods in such a blatant manner, chances are one of several things:
     
    1) They have no brain or personality and have to rely on their fun bags for self-satisfaction.
     
    2) It’s a “trap,” which they will more than happily spring on some guy they don’t want staring at their chest, going “OMG U PERVERT~!”
     
    3) Ample ventilation is needed to prevent overheating “down there.”
     
    Not sure what the reason was for our customer service representative. All I cared about was that I didn’t have to say, “excuse me?” or “huh?” 20 times when trying to understand what the cashier was saying. God I’m getting old.
     
    7 a.m.
     
    • So I got an e-mail from some place that asked "Don't know where to meet the local bar slut?" Well it made me laugh. Then again, perhaps it being 7 a.m. on a Monday morning might have something to do with it, too.
  6. kkktookmybabyaway
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • Wow, this is just like my "One of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male," only this person did actual research and stuff. Go to the site yourself and click on the links for each story.
     

     
    8:15 p.m.
     
    • I heard this on the radio this morning.
     

     
    After doing a quick rundown, I concluded that I could see the Steelers being Number 2. I thought about who would be Number 1, and I was correct (Green Bay). However, Number 3 surprised me -- Cleveland.
     
    Cleveland?
     
    Now I don't go to NFL games, but my guess would have been Seattle. Then again, the last time I went to a professional football game was in 1993.
  7. kkktookmybabyaway
    10 a.m.
     
    • Oh God. So I'm listening to this hatchet job ESPN is doing on the RACIST Delaware program and it's the typical PC bullshit that ESPN can produce oh so well. Long story short, the white school doesn't want to play the black school and they're near each other. Uh, oh. RACISM~! Wait a second. These two schools play each other in other sports, which was glossed over in this report. Uh.... OK. Now there must be other reasons, right? No, it must be...
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    RACISM~!
     
    Say, Penn State no longer wants to play Pitt in football. Pitt is in an urban area while State College is white as snow. What does this mean? JoPa is a, all together now...
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    RACIST~!
     
    • Time for this week's pickkks:
     
    Atlanta @ Carolina (4.5)
    Have I mentioned that I really hate the Panthers? When I pick them to lose they win. When I pick them to win/cover they stink up the joint. I'm expecting a 30-point blowout.
     
    (3.5) Buffalo @ Miami
    Miami has to win SOMETIME, don't they?
     
    Cleveland @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
    Yeah, because picking against the Steelers when they have a near double-digit spread works out so well for me. Pittsburgh will score 27
     
    Denver @ Kansas City (3.5)
    Gag. I know I'll be wrong either way I go. If I go with Denver, they will show me how bad they really are. If I go with Kansas City, Denver will show me theyr aren't as bad as I really think they are. I'll go with the Chiefs with that whole "bad Denver running defense" thing.
     
    Jacksonville @ Tennessee (4.5)
    Crap. Both quarterbacks don't look good on paper (is Gerard sitll out?), but I'll go with the Titans anyway. And big deal regarding Vince Young's "Super Bowl" comments a while back. What do you want him to say? "Maybe we'll reach .500 this year -- how's that, guys?" Can't nobody tell Vince Young nothing what he can't do.
     
    Minnesota @ Green Bay (6.5)
    The Packers beat the Vikings at Minnesota. I'll go with Green Bay again.
     
    Philadelphia @ Washington (3.5)
    I loved the talk this week about how McNabb's is getting blamed too much for the Eagles' woes.
     
    St. Louis @ New Orleans (11.5)
    I'll ride the Saints' jock until they crap out.
     
    Cincinnati @ Baltimore (4.5)
    Hmm, I don't know where to go with this one. Oh what the hell, I'll go with the Bengals
     
    (3.5) Chicago @ Oakland
    That Hester guy will score on a return and the Bears will win 7-0.
     
    (1.5) Dallas @ N.Y. Giants
    I don't care for the Va-Giants. Go Cowboys.
     
    Detroit @ Arizona (1.5)
    From what I seen of the Lions schedule, they better win this one because it's going to get tougher.
     
    (3.5) Indianapolis @ San Diego
    I think Indy will rebound from last night's SUPER BOWL 41 1/2 loss.
     
    San Francisco @ Seattle (10.5)
    Man, whatever team gets to play Seattle in the second round of the playoffs (Seattle will win its first-round home game), will be like getting a two-week bye.
     
    9:30 a.m.
     
    • AHAHAHAHA. I just heard an "Outside the Lines" teaser about why Delaware won't play Delaware State in football. "One school is made up of white students. The other is black." Gee, I wonder what's coming up? Do I even need to answer this one?
  8. kkktookmybabyaway
    7:15 p.m.
     
    • Remember, it's not only the U.S. that has stupid laws. From a survey of Brits about dumb laws from across the Pond.
     

     
    7 p.m.
     
    • I vote in every Shittsburgh mayoral election. Problem is I vote with my feet.
     

     
    You know there’s something messed up with the left-wing Post-Gazette endorses the REPUBLICAN candidate for mayor. God it’s going to be great watching the city go even further down the shitter, all the while local politicians will be blaming the evil suburbanites for everything.
     
    • In my neck of the woods, the township commissioner candidate I voted lost thanks to a huge turnout by the other guy 437-258. I always like looking at local returns and seeing the tiny vote totals. I remember seeing some in the past where one vote decided an election.
  9. kkktookmybabyaway
    10:30 p.m.
     
    • So my genius supervisors finally suckered hired someone to take over for an employee that died four months ago. As I met with this chick for the first time to talk with her about a work e-mail account, among other things, the first thing she said was “they never told me what I’d be doing.” Oh this is going to work out just great. Actually, today, her fourth day on the job, she’s already called off. Assuming the idiot bosses haven’t compromised their $8/hour policy when it comes to hiring office staff, something tells me this person won’t be around much longer. What cracks me up is when a half-hearted effort was under way early this year to replace my assistant, I was only allowed to advertise in the city’s second-tier newspaper, have a bare minimum amount of words and publish the ad in the immediate city zone (the ad didn’t go out to the suburbs). According to my count, the job search for this most recent vacancy, which deals directly with my one idiot boss, has already been twice advertised in the city’s top newspaper, has a bunch more words in it (one of the lines was “must be a hard worker”) and was published in editions that went out to the suburbs (or at least to the newsstands in my neighborhood). Christ I love this place.
     
    7:45 p.m.
     
    • So sfaJack talked about the joys of moving, and Christ is he right. I’m all moved out. I took my shit and moved to Sappy Valley back in January of 1999 during a blizzard. A year and some change later I moved within the apartment complex the better half and I were living at. It was May of 2000 and Mrs. kkk got accepted to the University of Dayton Master’s Program. We decided it would be best if we split for the summer. I’d keep working my two jobs for a few months and she could go back home and work a few jobs she had lined up there. When August came we’d head off to glorious Middletown Ohio, and we did just that. Then there was the move back to the Shittsburgh region in August of 2003 followed by our latest move to our first home in August of 2004. The next move I make will be to either a retirement home or the grave. Well I shouldn’t say that – I’ll probably just hire movers or something. When you get older, one way you can feel your age with how terrible you feel after a move. With all this said, there are times when you should engage in a move. Believe me, sometimes assisting with a person’s move can build you up a nice line of “you owe me credit.” Here’s my example.
     
    Mrs. kkk’s brother-in-law never really liked me. No, it wasn’t because I was an asshole or anything like that. It was just because I was banging his baby sister. Well that and I’m not a “man’s man.” I don’t hunt, drink beer, work on cars or do any of that other shit. But one thing I’m good at is being a worker bee, and when his family was moving for the third time to a house on the same street (don’t ask) I was one of only two people that showed up to assist him. After that it was like night and day – he loves me now. In fact, the better half said she couldn’t believe the seemingly instant transformation that took place. It’s a guy thing. I’m still not allowed to go hunting with him, though.
  10. kkktookmybabyaway
    9 p.m.
     
    • So I clicked on one of those right-wing t-shirt links by accident and came across this. Had no idea of this before creating my TSM account's subject line. Well, I'm sure there have been other people to go, "Free Mumia? I wish I could FRY MUMIA~!" before I put this witty line in my profile.
     

     
    • Yeah, that AIDS just creeps up on poor women and does its thing.
     

     
    • So I'm watching a bit of college football over the past year or so and figured why not make my own Top 25 list. Becaue there's no real champion because due to the fa
     
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • So I'm watching a bit of college football over the past year or so and figured why not make my own Top 25 list. Becaue there's no real champion because due to the fact 1-A Football doesn't have a playoff system, it makes the idiots who actually believe this is a good idea say, "THIS MAKES EVERY WEEK IN THE REGULAR SEASON LIKE A PLAYOFF GAME." With that in mind, here's my list:
     
    kkk's Top 25
     
    1) Ohio State
    2) Kansas
    3) Hawaii
    4-25) Nobody, BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE IS ELIMINATED IN THE REGULAR SEASON TOURNAMENT
     
    Boy, what an exciting way to run a sport. And for those that wonder about my insight into college football, keep in mind I had no idea Notre Dame had a 40+ year winning streak against Navy until I heard about it yesterday.
     
    • Good Christ, the NBC channels are doing some hippie "green" promotion this week with their programs to raise "awareness" about the environment. Thank God I don't watch that much television. Well, I do, but not in the NBC family.
  11. kkktookmybabyaway
    kkk's Top 103 Posters
     

     
    Number 5: Cancer Marney
     
    When you think about it, there are some scary-ass things in life. For example, remember the construction zone you drive through every day on the way to work/school? You know, the one with all the big machines that can crush your vehicle in an instant? There’s a good chance the guy operating that crane is the drunk cousin of a crew foreman. When you need an operation, how would you feel knowing that your surgeon was the one who cheated on his tests in order to pass them? And let’s not even talk about where the meat portion of your dinner came from and who helped put that dead flesh on your plate.
     
    However, not everything in this world is negative. There are good people out there. Remember when those towel heads flew two airplanes into the World Trade Center? Well you probably don’t because there’s enough sheeple out there ready to elect Hitlery, but I digress. Remember when those towers were ready to crumble and New York’s finest were running into the burning buildings to rescue as many people as they could? There are people out there going after the bad guys, and this poster is one such freedom fighter. And who is Ms. Marney going after -- Arabs? Russians? Chinamen? The French? I don’t exactly know. From what I’ve read over the years, this person reads a bunch of government reports or something. But that’s not why she’s on this list. She’s on this list because she’s an evil
     

     
    bitch.
     

     
    And that’s why she’s my goddess, not to mention protector -- if not from Abdul flying in coach with that fuse hanging out from his shoe, then from posters from across the pond.
     
    8 p.m.
     
    • So that trick-or-treat thing went on last night and we had the biggest turnout EVER~! Or at least for us. Mrs. kkk got through all 27 of her gi-normous candy bags (she puts like 10 pounds of shit in these tiny candy bags – it’s quite impressive, actually), finished off the “emergency stash” and she even had to give away a 100 calorie Nutter Butter bar because we had one brat late. Bitch, those Nutter Butters are hella good.
     
    It’s amusing to be at the kkk house on Halloween. Our “official” trick-or-treat time is from 6-8 p.m. First the better half bitches when we don’t get anyone from 6-6:10. She also looks out the front window the whole time looking for people dressed as Spiderman and monsters. Then when we finally get a group of kids she gives them their candy and kicks them out. No, “awww, look, you’re a ladybug” small talk. Just “Get yo’ mothafuckin’ food, leave it in the car, n*gga get out.” (Three points for anyone that catches that reference without the help of Google.) It’s hilarious to watch this obsession, and when I made a comment about her lack of small talk she started bitching about how kids just want to go house to house and get candy. I agree, but the smaller kids like being gushed over while dressed up as Batman. Damn, I’m speaking for the children. Subject change. Now.
     
    During this time we had Bravo’s 100 SCARIEST MOVIE MOMENTS. Good God was this retarded. But we kept it on because there was nothing else Halloweeny on except for the Michael Myers-fest on AMC. Then, after these 100 SCARY MOMENTS there were 30 EXTRA ONES that I DVR’d so I could goof on them today. Army of Darkness was included in this one. ARMY OF DARKNESS? Look, I have this movie. I like this movie. BUT IT’S NOT SCARY! You don’t watch this film to be scared. You watch this film for stuff like “I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.”
  12. kkktookmybabyaway
    5:45 p.m.
     
    • So the better half asked me the question of all questions today. “How many Halloween movies did they make?” Hoo-boy. Here’s how that conversation went. You can figure out who said what. I also don’t care if I got any facts wrong.
     
    “Well, there was the first Halloween and Halloween 2, which takes place right after the events of Halloween 1. Then there’s Halloween 3”
     
    “*Says something about Michael Myers.*”
     
    “No. Halloween 3 has nothing to do with Michael Myers. It deals with this place that makes these masks which turn people into killers or something.”
     
    “That’s retarded.”
     
    “Michael Myers comes back in Halloween 4.”
     
    “Why is he after that little girl.”
     
    “That’s Jamie Lee Curtis character’s kid.”
     
    “What happened to Jamie Lee Curtis.”
     
    “I don’t know. Probably died or something.”
     
    “OK.”
     
    “Then there’s Halloween 5 when Michael is still after the girl.”
     
    “Does he get her?”
     
    “No. He gets caught and some dude with a machine gun breaks him out of jail at the end.”
     
    ”What?
     
    “Yeah, then there’s Halloween 6, where we learn Michael is part of some cult, or is the God of some cult, or something or other. I think he finally kills that girl, but I'm pretty sure that the girl squirted out a kid. I have no clue as to the ending.”
     
    “Then why is Jamie Lee Curtis in that H2O one?”
     
    “Oh, well you have to pretend Halloweens 3-6 never happened and H2O takes place some time after Halloween 2. Then after that there’s the one with Busta Rhymes and Jamie Lee Curtis getting killed.”
     
    “Is that all of them?”
     
    “Well, sorta. They just came out with another Halloween movie directed by Rob Zombie. I’m not sure if it’s a remake or what, but if you want to include that one we’re up to nine.”
     
    “Uh-huh.”
     
    “Well you asked.”
     
    And the sad thing is I really like Halloween’s theme music. Actually, when I saw Halloween 6 for the first time I was with a girl friend at Slippery Rock University in a trailer she rented for the semester. I said “girl friend” not “girlfriend.” Anyway, it was the middle of the night and as she started up the movie her Pittsburgh Penguins framed poster fell in her bedroom and made a loud “CRASH,” causing both of us to jump. After she cleaned up that mess there was this thumping sound from outside, probably from a tree branch. As she went to open the door to see what it was I yelled out “DON’T OPEN THAT DOOR!” Boy did that freak her out. Boy did she get pissed. Boy did I laugh out loud. Sad thing was, after seeing Halloween 6: The Bowel Movement of Michael Myers, that crashing poster was scarier.
  13. kkktookmybabyaway
    9:30 p.m.
     
    • Generally, whenever spring/summer sprouts its sunny head the bad drivers come out and cause havoc with those like me that would like nothing better to do than get to work in one piece. However, the last few days the job commute has just been crazy. Peep this:
     
    Wednesday. Multi-car accident on the Parkway East. The overflow from motorists not wanting to engage in interstate gridlock made my commute 20 minutes longer.
     
    Thursday. On the way along a state highway, we phoned in an accident that just took place.
     
    Friday. Mrs. kkk told me of some BUTT-fucker that cut her off and almost ran into her.
     
    Saturday. Some guy backed into the better half’s car. See my Saturday entry for more information.
     
    The best was saved for last, though. We were doing some errands in this shopping center and we came to a shitty three-way intersection. The car across from us went. OK, they were first and they should go first. The car to our left then cut in. OK, a prickish move but whatever. Now it was our turn. However, the Jeep that took the place of the first car suddenly shot out in front of us and tried to turn in front of us was another story. The best part was the asshole who then yelled out to Mrs. kkk “Bitch.”
     
    Wrong move.
     
    I blared on the horn, got out of the car and was seconds away from getting into a full-fledged fistfight. For all the talk I do, I’m nothing more than a giant vagina. However, this pushed me over the edge. If Mrs. kkk had been in the wrong we would have taken the verbal abuse and moved on. But don’t you almost get us into an accident that was 100 percent your fault, and don’t you dare then call my wife a “bitch.” You fucking cock-sucker. I haven’t gotten into a fight in almost 20 years, and even then that scrap made South Park’s cripple fight look like the Rumble in the Jungle. I’m not sure if I would have gotten my ass kicked or even shot, but for some reason a rage just game over me and afterward Mrs. kkk said the following.
     
    “In our ten-plus years together, I’ve never seen you like that.”
     
    “Well, are you chalking this up to another of my ‘road rage’ fits?”
     
    “I don’t know what to call it, although I’m rather impressed you’d act this way for me.”
     
    After this was all said and done, the first thought I had was that I really need to get a concealed firearm because if not I have a feeling this is the way I’m going to check out. Oh, and whatever testosterone rush I displayed out in the parking lot I sapped away when our grocery bill had $62 in store and coupon savings. Hey, not only were Air Wick oil scent warmers on sale, but you also got a free holder with coupon(s).
  14. kkktookmybabyaway
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • Well I just had last Friday and today off, and the weird things is I don’t actually like the actual “day off.” I like the fact when I go into work tomorrow I’m facing a four-day workweek. Of course when I get to stay up late on Sunday night there isn’t a Sunday night game on. Bastards.
     
    • Finally got around to seeing the Grudge sequel last night. I know these two movies get blasted, but I like them. It’s a shame none of the victims tried punching the ghost chick in the face or something.
     
    • This is the third consecutive time I’ve been typing something in the computer room and JJ has taken a crap in the room’s litterbox. Goddamnit. It’s funny because this room is his “domain,” although I don’t know what he’d do if someone else tried to take it over. Each of our three have certain territories around the house. JJ’s is the computer room. Max tends to rule the spare bedroom that is also on our second floor, although the other two also hang out there every now and then – although he has claimed the bed. Dessa really doesn’t “claim” a room, but the one heating vent in the kitchen is hers.
     
    • So the Red Sox won it all. Don’t care. I actually think it’s funny A-Rod took his share of the spotlight by saying he’s opting to become a free agent during the Sox’s time in the spotlight. I’m an A-Rod defender, even though he does some bush-league things every now and then. However, I don’t blame him for wanting to leave. You’re set for life. Go to a place that you will be happy playing for during the summer. Then again, he’ll probably go for the biggest payday. Whatever. It’s not my life. Speaking of “bush-league,” I laughed when I heard some Redskins players got pissed when the Patriots “ran up the score” by going for it on 4th down while up by 30+ points. You know the best way to counter this “disrespect”? Go after Tom Brady’s knees.
     
    • Oh for fuck’s sake.
     

     
    You know, if you can’t graduate from frickin’ HIGH SCHOOL, you’re a loser. The only exception to this is if you have 10 siblings, your parents died and you’re working five jobs to keep food on the table and the lights on. And even then you should be working toward a GED in your spare time.
  15. kkktookmybabyaway
    6:30 p.m.
     
    • So I get a call from the better half today.
     
    “Someone hit the car.”
     
    “You OK?”
     
    “Yes.”
     
    “Any damage?”
     
    “There’s a dent by the front wheel side.”
     
    “What happened.”
     
    “Someone backed into me in this parking lot, etc. (Long story short: It was all his fault.)”
     
    “Did you get his information?”
     
    “No.”
     
    “Why not?”
     
    “I don’t know. It didn’t look bad.”
     
    Christ. So if there was some damage done, however unlikely it may be, we’re fucked. Yippie. Considering Mrs. kkk had this car near-totaled back in '03 due to some bitch gabbing on a cell phone ramming into her just months after she bought the vehicle new you'd think she'd be more vigilant about dealing with idiot drivers. Guess not.
  16. kkktookmybabyaway
    8 p.m.
     
    • For those that don’t know, I’m taking part in Bored’s college football contest over in the sports thread. Seeing how I know jack shit about college football, I just read over his weekly list of games to pick from and just shoot off the first school that comes to my head from each match-up. This week in my batch of PM’d picks, I had the following:
     

     
    Commissioning an Internet pick ‘em contest ain’t easy, folks.
     
    • Gee, and here I thought that’s what sick days are for.
     

     
    Actually, the EAN spokesperson has a point. It’s funny how white-collar jobs oftentimes have sick days, vacation days and holidays-with-pay, but some poor big-box retail clerk or fast-food worker will get shit on for calling off sick. I remember during my Burger King days I was getting ready to relax and watch an afternoon of NBA games when my one manager called and asked me to come into work. Now seeing how I closed Friday and Saturday nights, leaving at around 2 a.m. each time, I didn’t feel like coming in. Besides, that’s what happens when you people hire undependable people and they (gasp!) don’t bother to show up. Well, after I said “no thank you” I heard through the grapevine that the manager bitched about my refusal to come in afterward. Fun times.
     
    While I’m sorta on this subject, the better half’s ex-boss bitched at her for calling off work the day after the Steelers won Super Bowl XL. She stayed up to watch the game with me and decided to use one of her numerous sick/vacation days, especially since there was no work for her planned that particular Monday anyway. Of course, this is the same boss who only worked an hour or two the day of the Steelers victory parade and left to attend that event. Then again, this bitch made Mrs. kkk’s life a living hell, but I guess in the end it all worked out because although the better half now has another crazy boss her situation is not nearly as bad as the previous workplace. (Oh but there are stories.)
  17. kkktookmybabyaway
    kkk's Top 103 Posters
     

     
    Number 7: Vern Gagne
     
    When trying to think of a significant moment or two from Mr. Gagne, I can’t come up with anything. Much like sfaJack, Vern has always been one of those posters who have been just “there.” That’s not a bad thing mind you. He hates his commie state. Man, he started that thread when I was in Ohio.
     

     
    Jesus Christ, was this a long time ago. Duh-Whine? Voinobitch? Ha, he said “Paul Welfare.” Those were the days. Speaking of “the days,” I take back what I said about Vern with my first sentence. How the hell did I forget this blast from the past. But why is Vern ranked so high up? Because he's the Conservative Brigade member who loads the ammo inside the tank.
     
    8:15 p.m.
     
    • I forgot that Foxy Brown was in jail. Wow, she's hardcore.
     

     
    She's on a few songs as a guest vocalist for some of the albums in my collection, but I never cared for her. How did she get into jail again?
     

     
    Going to Rikers for that? Oh well, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
     
    6:15 p.m.
     
    • Got this from the other place. Don't you know that not killing enough Muslims to keep gravediggers employed is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male..
     

     
    The Bush economy strikes again. Boy, this really is a global economy.
     
    • I don't go to casinos because I have better ways to flush my money down the toilet, but what exactly is a Players Club card? I ask because a homeless man has one.
     

  18. kkktookmybabyaway
    10 p.m.
     
    • I haven't seen "Casino Royale" yet, but did this really happen? If so, I hope he also wore a seat belt whenever he was in a car.
     

     
    7:30 p.m.
     
    • So this past weekend the brother-in-law had some Halloween trail set up in the woods behind his house for his kids and a number of their friends, and I was one of the people that did stuff to scare the kids. No, I didn’t tell them about the story of my life. I hid in some trees and threw these ghosts disguised as plastic bags with stuff in them. Of course the one ghosts no-sold my attempt at releasing it, but the other one that swung at an angle hit some kid in the head and had him screaming like a girl. Good. This kid has been over my brother-in-law’s house during his son’s birthday parties and stuff, and he’s a little spazz. Of course, I had no idea it was him that I hit. My instructions were to aim for the center of the herd. Then again, it wasn't as bad as the chainsaw guy not being able to start up his weapon of choice, but that's what happens when there's more empty bottles of beer out along the trail than there are actual people. Despite all these glitches, this first-ever jaunt was a success. Too bad in a few years these kids will be out back in the wilderness screwing rather than bobbing for apples. They grow up so fast.
     
    Afterward, when all the kids left, a group of us gathered around the kitchen table and stuffed ourselves with all sorts of sugary shit. Among the plates of gummy worm chocolate cake, several kinds of puddings, chips, nachos and other junk food, there was a huge bowl of candy with real bars of Crunches and Hershey bars. Being in the mood for a Kit-Kat, I took one and ate it. On the way home the following conversation was had. Figure out who is who.
     

     
    Seriously, who starts collecting candy in the middle of October and puts it as part of their Halloween stash? And these weren’t those gay “fun bars.” These were full-fledged regular-sized candy bars. And there was a HUGE bowl full of them. Christ, their teeth will be falling out if they ate all that shit. I remember one year I kept my candy supply until the new year. Not sure why. I guess maybe to prove to myself I could. *Shrug.*
  19. kkktookmybabyaway
    9:30 p.m.
     
    • This was a rather long article, but I can sum it up with two lines.
     

     
    9:15 p.m.
     
    • So I heard this today and got the thinking...
     

     
    ...I wonder how many Democrat men wouldn't vote for a woman president of their political party? Or, better yet, a candidate of color?
     
    7:30 p.m.
     
    • Can somebody please tell me the status of Joe Torre and the Yankees? Will he be back? Have the Yankees offered him a contract? I've been watching ESPN all afternoon and they haven't said a peep. What’s the point of having cable when they don’t give you any updates on important stuff like this?
     
    5 p.m.
     
    • LOL.
     

     
    I'm a little bummed Max Baucus signed it because to me he has seemed to be a Democrat with some common sense. And it's nice to see Junior's sig on there, too. I'm surprised Crazy Arlen didn't take part.
  20. kkktookmybabyaway
    9 p.m.
     
    • I’ve said before that I really don’t have a favorite MLB team. If forced to pick one from each league, I’d say that my favorite AL team would be the Angels and the NL team would be the Cardinals. However, I really don’t care. But come playoff time I generally pick a team or two and hope they do well. The odd thing was I didn’t really know which team to pick. I’d go with the Angels, but I had a feeling that they’d get beat early. I was right. I wasn’t too keen on the Rockies, because they seemed like the popular pick, so I passed. Oh what the hell, the Indians haven’t won shit in a long time. Go Tribe.
     
    • So when Mrs. kkk bitched about yesterday’s “Book Fund” incident, she was annoyed. Today, she was pissed. She got a memo from university HQ telling all employees that they must “donate” to the United Way. Not only does the better half hold this nonprofit in high regard, but she’s pissed that the money collected would go to the United Way in Allegheny County, not the county where we reside. What did she do? She threw the memo away because when she went to fill out the online form there was no way to put $0.00 in the “donate” field. Baby, I love you. Personally, I would have donated $0.01, but what might be a better idea is to donate to some extreme right-wing cause, like saving unborn babies from being murdered, and then sending the receipts to university HQ.
     
    Oh, yeah, she also got a human resources document about the university’s authoritive blacktion policy that said “IF YOUR RACE HAS CHANGED IN THE LAST 12 MONTHS, PLEASE INDICATED WHAT YOU ARE NOW.” I told her to put down “Eskimo.” They need representation.
     
    • Speaking of universities, you know what I love about these institutions of so-called higher learning? The way they openly embrace points of view.
     

     
    4:30 p.m.
     
    • So the idiot boss got a call from someone he was to interview for this job in the office. Now they’re going to pay this person $8/hour, so naturally the responses to this opening have been, well, let’s say “less than overwhelming.” Anyway, this person asked the idiot what the “salary range” is. The idiot’s response? “It depends on the qualifications.” BWAHAHAHAHA~! Yeah, if she has more than 10 years experiences, she might get $8.25. Surprisingly, after that the person never came back for a second interview.
     
    • I think I found a way to counter those people that drive around with the booming bass systems in their vehicle. Yesterday we were beside one of these people at a red light, so I cranked up the treble in our car where all you could hear was the singer’s voice. Worked out pretty well, if I do say so myself, even though my ears were ringing for a few minutes afterward.
  21. kkktookmybabyaway
    10:15 p.m.
     
    • Only one thing to talk about but boy it’s a doozy. This evening the better half was in the bedroom watching Golden Girls or some shit when the phone rang. The caller ID identified the call as from the university where she works. Figuring it would be her boss in the office late or the newly hired work-study for what reason or another, I picked up the phone. I should had known better when the girl said, “May I speak with Mrs. kkk?” but I figured it could be the work-study person acting all professional and shit. Guess who it was? Some college student pseudo telemarketer asking her to donate to this thing called the “Book Fund.” What is the Book Fund you ask? This fundraising drive to help students pay for the “ever-rising costs of education.” You got to be shitting me.
     
    I never understood this logic. You take out tens of thousands of dollars in tuition and boarding fees (if you’re a dorm student), and you can’t afford to pay for your books. Are you shitting me? But kkk, it’s 2007. Books are Xpensive. Get the fuck out of here, you pathetic sniveling little bitches. Want to know what my Book Fund was? My paycheck. Get a job and quit your whining. Oh if my alma mater would call me with this kind of shit. Then again, I don’t bother to respond to any of their fundraising material I get in the mail, so I probably wouldn’t bother to pick up the phone if the ID gives the name of my school
     
    • OK, I lied. Mrs. kkk told me about this story today and I had to read it for myself.
     

     
    I think I’ve established over the years that I’m a pets > people person, but I’m actually going to side with the shelter on this one. Hey, Ellen, you didn’t follow the rules of the contract. I don’t give a shit about your boo-hooing. If anything, you should have taken the dog back to the shelter, explain the situation and do some transfer thingy to the other family. Rules are rules, even if they are stupid. If you are pitching a fit over this, imagine what will happen when Big Government takes over your health care and doesn’t allow you to see the physician of your choosing. Say, maybe we can accuse the shelter of a HATE CRIME. That’ll fix it. Oh, I’m not worried about the dog. This pooch is going to get snagged up so fast it’ll probably make your head spin. But the dog is away from its FAMILY. It’s a dog. Give it a bowl of food and an asshole to sniff and the animal will go, “Who were those people I sniffed the other day?”
     
  22. kkktookmybabyaway
    10 p.m.
     
    • So whenever I’m on the computer JJ usually hops up and rolls around on the desk vying for attention or whatever he does.
     

     
    Funny thing is this is the same cat that stays 10 feet away from me at all times unless I have this certain green linty blanket over myself (or if I just scraped out some earwax from my ear canal). Anyway, this evening I was scratching him on his side/belly, and I guess he didn’t take too kindly to that sort of thing so he began clawing me. Now even though this cat is rather powerful, he’s the biggest coward I’ve ever seen. When he tries to act tough in instances like this it’s a lesson in futility. You want to get hardcore, I’ll get hardcore. I began scratching his side with one hand while distracting him with my other hand, which was right in front of his face. The look of confusion he gave was priceless, and the only thing he could think of doing was batting the hand in front of him while unable to do anything about the hand that was actually violating his personal barrier. I’d say he’s a better lover than a fighter, but he’s neutered so he’s got the worst of both worlds.
     
    Oh, and here's the aforementined "magic" blanket.
     

     
    • Just to let you know, I heard my crack-whore sister-in-law wants to work as one of those tax people for H&R Block. She also wants to get this $3,000 trailer and move to this trailer park but can’t yet afford either the vehicle/home or the $200/month lot fee. She also told my mother-in-law that it’s her dream to have her boyfriend, her crack-whore daughter, the crack-whore daughter’s live-in boyfriend and have a happy holiday dinner. Did I mention the Christmas tree? Oh, and my welfare-collecting test-tube-kid-producing in-law relatives: the matriarch just told her welfare-collecting aunt (who got $10,000 worth of renovations done to her house compliments of my tax dollars and always seems to cater family events at said house) that she wants a Wii for Christmas. God poor people piss me off.
     
    I might as well leave on a happy note: My brother-in-law and his family will have some "haunted trail" thing going on this weekend for the kids in his neighborhood, and I was recruited as one of the monsters, meaning I'll get to scare children and unlike other instances when I do so it will be perfectly acceptable.
     
    7:45 p.m.
     
    • So the BcS thingy came out this week and OMG some team that’s not USC, LSU or another representative from Big University is ranked second. Whatever. Look, you pro-bowl fuckwads keep saying the regular season is like one big playoff. Well, that Florida team is unbeaten. So quit yer bitchin’. They’ll lose soon enough and you fags can put some other Top 10 regular in its slot. If this team keeps on winning, then shut your piehole and revel in your REGULAR SEASON PLAYOFF~!
     
    7 p.m.
     
    • Time for more fun work stories. So the idiot boss turned an effective ad that my co-worker and I were working on and instead queered it up by demanding cartoony clip art instead of presentable stock photos. When I showed the better half what the idiot thought “looked good,” she burst into laughter and said, “It looks like something a 10-year-old would do.” Fittingly enough, we have been getting ZERO response on these ads. Anyway, last this most recent ad was in the hands of my capable supervisors on Wednesday, and I was to hear of a final draft by the end of the week. Friday came and went. No word. This ad was due today. I sent them all an e-mail on Sunday while in the office (just making sure I have documentation if I get questioned as to I “really was” on the job) letting them know this ad was due Monday. This morning I get an e-mail from the idiot asking me to – surprise -- print him another copy of this ad. Oh, yeah, we also found out today through an “informant” that when he becomes head honcho he plans to make my aforementioned co-worker into his own “department.” Uh, let’s not get too far, Tex. How about starting off slow, like, say, allowing him to utilize his marketing budget, which is only ¼ used because he’s not allowed to travel and bring in business. Oh, yeah. It’s been several months and we still haven’t replaced another co-worker who died because the idiot can’t find any “administrative professional” willing to work a shit job for a shit boss for $8/hour. Damn Bush economy.
     
    Oh, yeah. My current head boss told another co-worker who's been working at this place for 20+ years that she makes more money than a publc school teacher. Yeah. If the teacher was back in 1950.
     
    • So I just found out this cunt of a professor/advisor I had back in college just had her husband pass away. Sadly, my first thought was “Guess he couldn’t take any more and took the easy way out with cancer or heart disease.” Christ I’m such a horrible person.
  23. kkktookmybabyaway
    11 p.m.
     
    • Let’s see: Get into work at 10:30 a.m., leave at 9:15 p.m. Why the hell do I do this? Oh, yeah. Because whenever I’m here on the weekends, I won’t be there sometime during the week. That’s why. Besides, the drive home was great. No traffic, clear night, had the NLCS on ESPN radio. Only regret was missing my football games today and I didn’t get to go through my Sunday papers/coupons/etc. Oh well, that’s what tomorrow is for.
     
    But the real fun began when I got home. No, Mrs. kkk wasn’t bitching at me for being at work all day – she was already asleep. The fun came about 30 minutes later when I realized my wedding ring wasn’t on my finger. The fuck? When did this happen? Good thing the better half is asleep. Time to backtrack. Did the ring fall in the sink’s drain when I washed my hands in the bathroom? I can’t remember if I still had it on at that time. I normally take it off and put it on the spice rack when doing the dishes. Problem was it wasn’t on the rack when I cleaned the dishes. Well the cats aren’t playing with anything shiny on the floor, so that’s a plus – but did the already bat it under a couch or major appliance? Yikes. Could it have fallen outside when I was on my way inside the house? No clue. Fuck. It’s been 30 minutes and I can’t find this goddamn thing. I’ve looked everywhere I’ve been so far tonight. The car, the walkway, the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, the dining room, the bedroom. I’ve sifted through the garbage can, looked in several cabinets, peered down into the bathroom sink’s drain, and peered into a bunch of crevices. No luck. Wait a minute. What about my drawer in which I keep a bunch of useless shit, including my cell phone’s AC adapter, which I took into work with me today. When I opened the drawer I heard a “clink.” Oh thank God.
     
    Now it’s time for bed.
  24. kkktookmybabyaway
    7 p.m.
     
    • So I'm roaming the wires, and this got a chuckle out of me. Two articles are next to each other, each with the same lead. The first headline reads:
     

     
    and the second reads:
     

     
    That's all I got.
     
    • I just heard on the television that not only is the "Caveman" show still on, but now the next show will introduce the first CaveWOMAN~! Find the people watching this shit and sterilize them. NOW.
     
    7 p.m.
     
    • Oh boy, western Pennsylvania.
     
    The long-standing rivalry between Coke and Pepsi took a physical turn Friday when a Pepsi deliveryman allegedly punched his Coke counterpart in the face at a western Pennsylvania Wal-Mart, state police said.
     
    Could this be in my neck of the woods?
     

     
    Nuts. Indiana is to the east of me. Oh well, maybe next time.
     
    10:15 a.m.
     
    • I just got done watching part of the “Fast Food Nation” and boy was I not disappointed (when I feel motivated, I'm going to have to check out IMDB's message board section about this masterpiece). I read bits of the hippie book, and while thumbing through its pages I thought “Boy I sure wish they would make a movie out of this.” If you want a laugh, check it out. My only regret was that Esai Morales and Bruce Willis were in it. Esai I understand because I’m under no pretenses that the guy’s a commie. However, I like him anyway. I didn’t see Bruce’s character, so I at least hope he played some evil greedy right-wing corporate exec. Otherwise, when I saw his name in the credits I went, “Why Bruce why?” Like I said before, I didn’t see this genius in its entirety, but I saw enough. Slaughterhouses, corporate greed, oppressing the underclass and invaders undocumented American citizens, pseudo-hippies. “Well I can't think of anything right now more patriotic than violating the Patriot Act!” Fuck you Paco. My name translates into Paco in Spanish, too, and you’re no Paco. Well, actually Paco is a “nickname” of my formal wetback name, but whatever. I remember back in middle school there was some “rhyme” in Spanish that involved the word Paco, and I was the only one in my grade who could say the entire verse in less than 3.5 seconds. This of course didn’t take away from the fact I HATED that class and failed. Then again, I failed a bunch of classes back in my middle school days. I had the same teacher for my Francais class the year after, and I flunked that, too. Christ, was I a miserable little shit back then. Two years later when I was in high school I was studying Francais yet again just before a girl’s volleyball contest when my former aforementioned teacher, who was sitting in front of me, made some remark about my studying, and at that moment I just smiled and thought, “How the hell did she put up with me back then?”
     
    Where was I going with this? Ohhhh, shiny object.
  25. kkktookmybabyaway
    10:15 p.m.
     
    • Yeah, I know there's more to this story, but the lead paragraph just sounds funny to me.
     

     
    9:15 p.m.
     
    • So on the way home from work today we were driving through the black people part of the trip and went past some guy with a colorful jacket that featured patches of each NBA team sewed on. I didn’t notice it because I was too busy looking at traffic and shit, but Mrs. kkk did. The following conversation ensued. You can figure out who is who.
     
    Hey look, it’s Jamal and the multi-colored robe.
     
    Huh?
     
    You know, Joseph and the multi-colored robe? From the Bible?
     
    What?
     
    You don’t know the story of Joseph and the multi-colored robe? The one where he gets sold into slavery by his brothers and they tear up his robe to show to their father?
     
    The fuck?
     
    *Goes on to tell the story up to the point where the robe is returned to dad*
     
    Jesus Christ that’s depressing. Did Joseph at least get his revenge?
     
    I don’t remember, but I think the story is about forgiveness.
     
    Fuck that shit. I’d be pissed.
     
    Well, his bones got returned back home with Moses.
     
    I thought Moses didn’t make it back because God fucked him over about something.
     
    That’s correct … sort of.
     
    What exactly did Moses do?
     
    He was trying to get water from hitting a rock. God said to do it one time and he did it twice.
     
    That’s it?!
     
    Yes. God said that showed a lack of faith on Moses’ behalf.
     
    So he roams around in the desert for 40 fucking years, and God doesn’t believe he’s of faith? No wonder God’s a Jew.
     
    What?
     
    When it came time to pay the bill for Moses, God Jewed him, "Thanks for all your years of service, Moses, but you violated Page 490, Section XL, Article 4a, line 20 of our agreement. No promised land for you." If God tried to Jew me like that, I’d send all his people away to Detroit.
     
    Why am I talking about the Bible with you?
     
    Because you commented on Jamal’s mulit-colored coat.
     
    THE END
     
    That coat was pimp, too, what with the old Hawks logo. Jamal's, not Joseph's.
     
    8:30 p.m.
     
    • So earlier today I became one of “those customers.” I was going out for a few things, and I decided to get one of these new burrito things that Taco Bells was pimping. You know, the one with the “I’ll stop the world and melt with you” ads. Hey, it’s got meat, cheese and sour cream – can’t be all that bad. Problem is, when I approached the drive-thru I couldn’t remember what this product was called. No problem. There will probably be a sign or ad pimping this new item. No such luck – some hippie crap about putting chili on nachos. Now the drive-thru speaker lady is talking. Fuck. Scan that menu. It has to be on there. Nothing. Oh Christ, I have to say it.
     
    “Can I get that burrito that’s been advertised a lot lately?”
     
    “You mean the Cheesy Beefy Melt? Do you want that in a combo?”
     
    Grilled stuffed burrito. Sonofabitch. Oh well, it was worth the humiliation. Well, I wasn't as bad as the old lady at the Burger King drive-thru years ago asking my co-worker if we had fish sticks or macaroni, among the dozen-plus other items we didn't have because she hadn't left her house since the Truman administration (it was a Lenten Friday -- God did those shifts suck).
     
    • Swift Terror brought up Land of the Dead, and it finally forced me to think back to when I saw it a few months back. I liked it. I’m not what you consider a zombie movie fan. I have nothing against them, but I’m nowhere near a fanatic like some others are with this genre. Then again, if that’s what they like to see, then more power to them. Anyway, the whole “Dead” film series is mostly “eh” to me. “Night” was there, and it’s probably my favorite of the three. I never really cared for “Dawn,” and “Day” was OK. I remember as a kid a classmate always saying, “Fucking ‘a, biggest piece of meat in the cave,” and never knew where he got it from. So with this in mind, I always had “Land” pegged as one of those movies that I was in no hurry to see but wanted to get around to doing so before dying. Well now I can rest in peace, I guess. Wasn’t too bad. Yeah, it was a bit cheesy with the whole zombies-of-the-world-unite thing going, and I’m sure there’s some social commentary with the whole “Uniontown” thing that I missed because I’m an evil right-winger. However, there is an actual Uniontown about an hour or so from Shittsburgh, or whatever the city was called in the movie, so I’ll give this a pass.
     
    • So the better half has been sporadically watching that Bret Michaels Flavor-of-Love rip-off every now and then, and this evening she had the FINAL DECISION EPISODE on. Long story short: this guy had to choose from the stripper and the psycho. Longer story shorter: Bret couldn’t decide between these two up until the very end, so he asked each if they wouldn’t mind sharing him with the other. The stripper said sure, the psycho said no. The psycho won. Jesus Christ how stupid can some people be? And if you’re looking for “true love,” wouldn’t you know before asking two chicks if they wouldn’t mind being part of a threesome? I just pray everyone on that show doesn’t vote.
     
    • Al Gore got a Nobel Prize. Yay, and stuff.
     

     
    What a prestigious award. Too bad Arafat’s dead – they could have been BFF.
     
    • Uh oh, don’t you know that …well, whatever the hell is going on here…
     

     
    …is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?
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