kkktookmybabyaway

And your point is?

You're an American -- get that "u" out of here.

I didn't say they were any good. Just that I got them from Target.

KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 69: Bob Barron From his Saturday Night Live recaps that take longer to read than it would to actually watch this unfunny piece of crap program he reviews to his numerous pictures with celebrities... (my personal favorite) ...Bob is one of the more recognizable posters at this place. And how can he not be, considering he's had that hat longer than the Braves have been winning Division titles. I’ve talked to Bob via AIM for a few years now, and he’s a pretty nice kid. Not only is he a conservative student in a field of study (journalism) that is dominated by liberals (especially considering he goes to school in Canada), but also he’s a regular participant in my NFL Pick ‘em league. In fact, he was runner-up in KKK Bowl II. Now with all these nice things being said about him, the question is why is he ranked up so high (or "low," as the case may be) on this list? Well, Bob has the potential to capture a Top 20, or even a Top 10, spot, but the fact of the matter is, Bob, that you need some action. I know it’ll probably be a while before you experience it in the Real World, so by occupying the number 69 slot you can at least fulfill your wildest celeb fantasies on my list. Go to town big guy. And now a word or four from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From Lovecraft231: From The Real World’s Champion: From EricMM: From Cancer Marney: Oh, and for all my expert panelists: the number 68 spot is being changed for reasons you’ll understand later when he turns up again. • The Andrea Yates story just keeps getting better. Like I said before, it’s shit like this which makes people support the death penalty. I’m guessing she gets released from the crazy house in 5-10 years. I think what’s even more disgusting is that her ex-husband was complaining not because Andrea was now found innocent but because it took two juries to reach a not guilty verdict. He then griped about all the tax dollars being spent for the two trials. Maybe it indeed was best for these kids that they got killed relatively early on in their lives before their parents could do some real damage to them. • So the United Nations decides to stick around in a war zone and several “observers” got killed by an Israeli rocket, prompting Kofi Annan to say that it appeared that Israel was targeting his people. Well Israel did say they were going to go after terrorists. When I first heard this my guess was that Hezbollah was probably moving closer to that U.N. outpost; a letter Glenn Beck read earlier today on his radio show confirmed my guess. According to this letter, one of the observers who eventually was killed in the strike said that the Israeli shelling they were experiencing had not been deliberate but due to a tactical necessity. Gee, terrorists moving toward civilians/non-aggressors in hopes of innocent lives being lost? That’s a newsflash. • This has been a pretty depressing entry, what with moms getting off from killing their kids and the Mideast going to hell in a handbasket. However, there is some good news on the horizon; score one for the good guys in the eminent domain struggle. Fuck you Big Government. Fuck you Big Private Land Developer. Fuck you Five Communists on the Supreme Court.

Fuck Radio Shack, too. The last pair of headphones I bought came from Target.

• There is a McDonalds near where I live that just experienced a “drive-thru,” geezer style. This old person plowed into one of those outside play areas that some of the yuppie Golden Arches use to lure in children and their parents. Here is the best part of the article: And then further down... I think the “gas pedal got stuck” is the old person’s version of the classic “dog ate my homework." • This past weekend I got Comcast Digital Cable. Uh, yay, I guess. Basically, Comcast is offering this deal where you get phone service, Internet access and Digital Cable all for one price that saves me more than $50 for the first year and a lesser amount thereafter. As I began playing around with the “On Demand” feature, I went into the section where you can watch free movies. What, you thought I’d actually go into the pay-per-view section? So as I was flipping through the free movies, I noticed that most of these films weren’t, let’s say, the greatest of quality. Not that I’m complaining though, because they are free. Well, they had Men in Black; too bad I own the DVD. Hey, A League of Their Own wasn’t bad for what it was. There was also the first Mad Max movie, which I hadn’t seen before. Look here, it's My Best Friend’s Wedding; I won’t watch it any time soon, but at least it’s a movie that was made within the last 10 years and was reasonably popular at the box office. However, as I looked more thoroughly through over to the “comedy” area, I began to notice a certain pattern of films: Ernest Goes to the Army, Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Goes to Africa (!?). Just exactly how many of these Ernest movies were made? I admit watching as a kid Ernest Goes to Camp, and I remember he had some television show, but that’s about the extent of my Ernest knowledge. Just for the hell of it, I headed over to IMDB and looked up a list of Ernest movies/shows” “Ernest Goes to Camp” “Ernest Saves Christmas” “Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain,” “Hey Vern! It’s Ernest!” “Ernest Goes to Jail” “Ernest Scared Stupid” “Ernest's Greatest Hits Volume 2” “Ernest Rides Again” “Ernest Goes to School” “Slam Dunk Ernest” “Ernest Goes to Africa” “Ernest in the Army” Christ almighty. Who buys this shit? • Well the better half and I are having a bit of a tiff because she “volunteered” me to help her one friend with the two out-of-wedlock kids move into her newly purchased house. I got to hear this good news at 5:45 a.m. as I was getting ready for work, so needless to say my reaction was less than enthusiastic. I hate moving. I’ve packed my things and headed out for greener pastures five times since 1998, and that is more than enough times for me. However, what pisses me off even more is that her friend doesn’t really do anything with Mrs. kkk unless she needs something. I get that she has two kids and all, but there have been more times than I can count in the past that not only would this girl flake out with scheduled get-togethers, but each time she would never let the better half know she wasn't going to be attending whatever they had planned. And her reasons weren’t because the one kid had to go to the emergency room; it would be because she got drunk with some other people. I'm one of those dolts that tries to keep his word whenever possible, and if I'm unable to make an event I let the host know as soon as possible. I have no problem helping out people I know. Hell, I can do nice things for strangers once in a while, too. But I have a problem with being there for someone who wouldn’t give two shits about your situation should you ever need to rely on them for something. Oh well, at least this will give me some material to use the next 10 times this person screws over the better half and an event she’s planned.

I like this guy. Oh, and there are plenty of other more worthwhile reasons not to get into journalism.

Eh, if the aforementioned squirt bottle isn't nearby I throw a sock or shirt at JJ when he's scratching the closet door. He'll get over it.

Use someone else's money.

I'll say good for Monopoly. That game is long enough without taking all the time to make change, especially when someone wants to cash in all their $1s and $5s. Then again, I'm not a huge Monopoly fan to begin with.

That dog was having a good ol' time. The laser pointer/pet combo never gets old.

And you didn't even make a joke about the Oval Office or anything. That Smitty-Goes-to-Washington cab driver must have left quite an impression on you.

Well then good luck trying to build a house out of paintings or driving (or in your case, biking) to work on a stack of books.

According to AP Style (My AP book is at the office, but this on-line entry will suffice): "Principal" used as an adjective means most important: The principal investigator on the grant is Jim. "Principal" used as a noun means a person in authority: The principal will open the school every morning. "Principle" is a noun and means a rule or code of conduct: His principles will not be compromised. If I was placing an ad and got an error like this, I would ask for a refund or at the very least a discount (a make-good would work, too, unless the ad I submitted was time-sensitive), especially if I submitted the proper wording to the publication. Now if I submitted the incorrect copy, and it wasn't the printer's/publication's job to act as proofreader, then the mistake is on me.

I hear that point brought up about the drunk person taking his gun and firing off a round or six, but if that's the case, then we also need to ban knives, cars, bats, etc. And I'm sure some of the biggest advocates of people having to take gun safety classes before ownership are in fact current gun owners. (Noticed I said "some" and not "all" -- like I said before, I've met some scary mo fo's.) Also, BL, how do you handle the gun issue with your kid(s)? Have you told her about the dangers of playing with them, or are they so locked away that she will have no chance of finding them until she's in her teens, which will be when "the talk" takes place?

• Before this gets too outdated, what the hell was up with that psycho bitch on the Tonight Show? She claims Colin Farrell was harassing her and she walks onto the stage in the middle of a taping? Bitches be trippin'. From the article: So that's what happened to Rolanda. I wondered where she went after that talk show. • The Penguins just signed (again) winger Mark Recchi after trading him to the Carolina Hurricanes last year, where he won another Stanley Cup. I just find this funny for some reason. Couple this with the N.Y. Islanders now having its back-up goalie as the team's new General Manager and I have to ask how can anyone not like the NHL? • First soccer players are head-butting opponents. Now jockeys are head-butting their horses. Nice. • Here we go with Part VI. If you don't know what this is, then too bad. Disagree. What if you are at the top or bottom of this society? Who do you obey/command then? Besides, there are quite a few people I know who can’t command themselves, let alone other people. Disagree. I don’t care about this one. I’m sure you can fling pooh against a wall and someone will find a picture of two horses fucking or see the Mona Lisa; whether or not she's banging farm animals is up to the person looking at this "art." Agree. Should rehabilitation be factored into a convict’s sentence? Sure. But why rehab someone who’s getting the needle? You can make a case that this goes against my “accept discipline” answer from earlier, but obviously if you’re in jail you don’t know how to prevent from being disciplined, so too bad. Agree. See my answer above. Agree. Artists are starving enough. If you didn’t have the person creating the goods for these creative types, they wouldn’t survive long enough to get to the second act or chapter of their masterpiece. Disagree. Not if they are childless or unmarried; their first duty is not to be a burden to society. In Happy World it would be best if a couple that popped out some kids had one adult in the house; it doesn't matter if it was either mom or dad bringing home the bacon. Agree Hooray exploitation. I’m sure the company heads are smarter than the “leaders” of these pissant countries, so I’m certain Big Company is getting a sweet deal. More power to them. Disagree. I don’t think it’s an “aspect” moreso than a “result” of maturity. It also often means that you finally got your hippie ass a job and some investments. Disagree. Next. Developing...

I'll guess he said something mean about Dovan McNabb, or he wanted more money.

They are? Well, if they're black then I suppose they would be.

Agent Bond showed up so your gone...um hippie. Actually if another person shows up and brings it to 42 your still in. At this point I don't care how many I end up getting in the contest as long as it's an even number. So you think I'm just going to sit here and wait until the last possible fucking second to find out whether I'm deemed worthy enough of entering some hippie contest whose sport I don't even pay attention to? Well you would be right. I've got nothing better to do.

Have a microwave and mini-fridge in my office that I paid for. Usually have cereal for breakfast, something nuke-able for lunch, plus usually some yogurt and a granola bar. Also have a variety of beverages. But the best part: I get to stay away from my co-workers. I used to HATE lunch breaks with other co-workers, especially when they always asked you what you were eating.

Get over it.

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 70: Cena’s Writer A returning participant from my NFL pick ‘em contest, he managed to get into the first round of the playoffs with the Arizona Cardinals and was just minutes away from advancing to the second round. Unfortunately for him, Bravesfan, his Wild-Card opponent, got his playoff picks in right as I was typing “Deadline has come and gone.” Cena’s Writer was a good sport about it all, and he didn’t mind when I moved him from the Cards to the Saints during the off-season. For these reasons alone he gets a spot on this list. And now a word or four from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From Porter: From Black Lushus: From SFA Jack: From Cancer Marney: • Black Lushus asked me a question in yesterday’s entry regarding my feelings about concealed firearms legislation. Before giving my opinion, I feel I need to explain a bit on my feelings toward gun control in general. I personally don’t own a firearm, although I may some day down the road for protection purposes. That being said, I feel a law-abiding citizen has the right in this country to own firearms. I always get a kick out of hearing anti-gun weenies whine about how our Founding Fathers would have never written the Second Amendment had they known how dangerous today’s firearms are. I’m sure Ben Franklin and George Washington wouldn’t expect our country to be doing quite a few things today that would have seemed inconceivable from back in the day, so don’t play the they-wrote-the-Constitution-230-years-ago card in this instance. I consider myself to be “pro-gun,” however, there are some people I’ve met that are so anti-gun control that they downright scare me. About 15 years ago I heard a stand-up comedian say the following line, which pretty much sums up my feelings on gun registration: “If you’re the type of person who can’t wait seven days to purchase a gun, you’re the type of person that needs to wait seven days in order to purchase a gun.” I’ve always said that if the United Nations One World Government black choppers ever come to my neck of the woods, I’ll be glad knowing my local militia will be there to fend them off (although seeing the work the UN does in “peace-keeping” I’m sure my garden hose on at full tilt will be a sufficient deterrent to get them off my property). When it comes to concealed-carry firearms, I’m generally for them. Sure there will be media stories about soccer moms who say they are cowering in fear because they will be afraid of some guy in a pickup truck with a Dixie Flag decal opening fire because she’s not driving fast enough. However, the real worry doesn’t stem from everyday people owning and carrying guns; it’s the people who illegally obtain and use firearms. And if you fear a well-armed citizenry, read that article I linked to yesterday and ask yourself that if some guy with a knife was chasing you in a parking lot would you want the citizens in your area to have the ability to stop your attacker with a single bullet or would you want to run around a parked car until the police arrive? I can understand why some people in places such as dense urban areas don’t want guns of any kind in their neighborhood, but gun-control legislation won’t stop criminals from using them, and when you take away a citizen’s ability to protect themselves you’re actually helping the criminals do their thing. As long as liberal politicians keep trying to find ways to weasel their anti-gun authoritarian measures into law, and this ends up bringing out the gun owners bloc to vote against them on Election Day, then all I can say to these commies is keep up the good work. On a somewhat related note, one of my favorite songs by Sir-Mix-A-Lot came from his Mack Daddy album, and it didn’t involve phat derrieres or Testarossas. It was on last track of the album and was titled “No Holds Barred.” Below is the third verse to this pro-gun ownership track: I’m sure Mr. Mix-A-Lot isn’t a Republican (he’s had some anti-GOP lyrics in other songs), but I always thought he’d make an … interesting … spokesperson for the National Rifle Association. • So I heard there was some grumblings from Americans in Lebanon about the way they were recently rescued from the turmoil in that region (damn Jews are always messing things up). Today, when the morning RIGHT-WING RADIO guy I listen to returned from a weeklong vacation, he played some sound bites about this bitch named Ashley whining about America’s rescue efforts. I shook my head. First off, this chick sounded like a Valley Girl filled with university indoctrination of “America Sux,” gobbledy goo and complained about how the boat they were rescued on was a like refugee ship. She then whined about all the flies that were on board. Uh, as opposed to pristine landscape that is the MIDDLE EAST. It’s a shame someone didn’t throw this one overboard. A number of people in Medium Large Media compared the Lebanon rescue efforts to the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, and they are right but for the wrong reason. Both examples are similar in that it involves groups of people who knew they were living in a bad place to be and didn’t get out when they had the chance. Oh, and speaking about the morning RIGHT-WING RADIO guy, I was right in my prediction from yesterday’s entry – the first thing he talked about was that guy stopping a knife-wielding psycho from stabbing a co-worker.

Didn't he have a breakdown or something and said he was leaving for good a while back?

Isn't this SFA Jack territory?

I've had at least one kitty in the house since '99, so there's really nothing they do that upset me. Our two couches are scratched to shit, but they're cats -- what do you expect? The damage to my house would be much worse with three children than with my three cats, so Dessa, JJ and Max get a free pass. If I had to name one thing it'd be when JJ wants fed at 5 a.m. by scratching the bedroom closet, but a few squirts in the direction of the noise usually quiets things down. When he does get fed he'll overeat and throw up, but that's OK because Dessa now eats it so there's minimal cleanup.