The Amazing Rando

"You know why they hate me?" *Maven pulls out long long long list ala Jericho* "Number one, cause you fuck the bosses daughter. Number two, cause you have held that belt like it was welded to your waist. Number three, arm bar..."

"Snitsky hurt you inside" "I know, I was going to name him "Lil Brow Brow"

Uh oh.... HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHere he is.

AHHHHH WHATTARUSH!

Batista: NO! We're going to take over World Wrestling Entertainment! Flair: But how? Batista: First, we help Maven defeat HHH...Nobody will see it coming! Once everyone is in their complete shock and delusional state, they will have to bow down to us! Flair: Yeah! WHOOOO! Get em alllllll on their knees like those girls in Tallahassee! WHOOOOOOOOO!! *Flair struts, Dave pimps*

Maven's not that stu---- Aw shit.

WOOOOOO!!!!!! *marks out* This makes Rando happy. What a way to start MY show.

Batista: Are you pondering what I'm pondering... Flair: I think so B, but since when does HHH lose?

That's quite the image to come back to Raw to...

Cause he's SPECIAL... like Lita, except with a brain.

That was when they were at their best. Edge: Why am I teaming up with this dork? I got cheated out of the WORLD TITLE!! Maven: Well, here's 50 Million Dollars! Edge: WORLD TITLE! WORLD TITLE! WORLD TITLE! Snitsky: KICK THE BABY!

*prays for a Eugene title victory*

Maven vs. HHH ... The Eyebrow vs. The Nose...

Edge & Christian! Fuck You Maven! JR vs. Coach ... I'm a better booker than him easily. Has Maven never watched Raw before?

This next month might be full of Rando-ized Raws... this is comedic gold for two hours a week.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaven!

RAW IS RANDO has begun!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN

Flair: What does "sequestered" mean? Writer: That means we put you up in a hotel with... Flair: Free food, Free TV, Free Swimming Pool, Free HBO, Free Laundry...WOOHOO FREE BEER!

It would be in keeping with the total lack of continuity, but I don't think even the RAW writers are that stupid. Writer: So tonight I'm thinking that Jericho controls Raw, and we get Jericho vs. HHH... HHH: What? Writer: Well, since Team Orton won at Survivor Series they get control of... HHH: ........ Writer: ...as I was saying, tonight we are going to have Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit face off against La Resistance, but the tag titles won't be on the line because La Resistance needs to save up their energy to fight Rhyno and Tajiri next week for the belts! HHH: Then what will Jericho and Benoit do next week? Writer: I'm not su... HHH: ........ Writer: ...re, but I think they should go on hot dates with Mae and Moolah! HHH: See, I knew you had something special about you. Writer: Thanks, wanna read my essay?

That's why they call me the Big Shot.

Tonight will be a very special night for Maven & The Monotones... now featuring the newest member... Robert Sparkimus Holly, Esquire. "Oh, how doth thou feel about thee now?"

Ozzy's not dead.

Now you're just being silly. I know... cause I came back a long time ago.

Would there be anything cooler than Snitsky in KISS Demon makeup? Besides, of course, Gene then biting a baby's head off? and then he has to spit the red viscuss liquid.

Don't diss "Ishmael"...that book 0wnz.