KingPK

Happened on another network, so no. That was quick.

I go to the bathroom and suddenly Boise's tied it back up. What a play.

10-6 was enough for a bye. That should tell you all you need to know about the NFC right there. I'll go with Indy (barely), NE, Giants in a complete turd and Seattle.

I just thought Rodez/Maddix was a very well done match and that KC put together a damn good story. Any of those matches deserved to win, though. I think KC won the most awards this year, followed by Zack. It was a toss-up on the last category, but I like Zack's matches a bit more than his promos, so I gave it to him. Could you tell that I was getting sick of writing and getting weird looks from the people I had over by the end? "I'm writing an e-fed awards show" isn't exactly the best icebreaker.

I beat Bob! W00T!

Late to the party, but I highly enjoyed the Titans trying to bully the Pats into turtling and resting the starters only to get smacked and have Vinny Testaverde throw a TD pass on them. Vince Young looked like Michael Vick all right, but that's not a good thing. Kid needs to learn not to float every pass in there and instead nail his receivers between the numbers. Bring on the Jets!

Congrats to all the winners and thanks for submitting your speeches. I reposted the three MOTY winners in Home Entertainment if you want to read them again. For reference, here's how the voting broke down (including Write-ins). There were five ballots cast and I had the tiebreaking vote should there be one. Character Categories Most Entertaining Character (DONE) - Drek Stone - Landon Maddix - ll (WIN) - Zack Malibu - l - Tha Puerto Rican - Christian Wright - Hooligans - Write in: (Alfdogg - l) (Bruce Blank - l) Most Welcome Return/Debut (DONE) - Drek Stone - lll (WIN) - Anglesault - Wildcards - l - Theodore Moneymaker - James Riggs - Beverly Hills Blonds - Write in: (Landon Maddix - l) Best Title Reign (DONE) - Alfdogg (World Title) - llll (WIN) - Zack Malibu (HI-YAH World) - Peter Knight (World) - Brock Ausstin (Heartland title) - l - Heavenly Rockers (Tag) - Write in: Feud of the Year (DONE) - Peter Knight vs. Alfdogg - Zack Malibu vs. Bruce Blank - lllll (WIN) - Drek Stone vs. Tha Puerto Rican - Hooligans vs. Wildcards - Alfdogg vs. Brock Ausstin - Write in: PPV MOTY (DONE) - Peter Knight vs. Alfdogg (AM V) - l - Two For the Money (AM V) - Alfdogg vs. Brock Ausstin (Zero Hour) - l - Drek Stone vs. Tha Puerto Rican (World Without End) - l - PRL vs. Thunderkid (AngleSlam) - Women's Scramble Match (Anglepalooza) - Wildcards vs. Hooligans (GAB) - Drek Stone/Hoff vs. Black T (AM V) - l - Leon Rodez vs. Landon Maddix (AngleSlam) - l (WIN) - Write in: Free TV (HeldDOWN/Syndicated) MOTY (DONE) - WarGames (10/28 Syndicated) - lll (WIN) - Philly Street Fight (11/30 HD) - ll - Zack Malibu vs. Faqu (6/8 HD) - Drek/Hoff vs. Black T (5/14 Syndicated) - Torneo Cibernetica (8/10 HD) - Write in: Comedy MOTY (DONE) - Miami Mayhem (AngleSlam) - Run For the Gold 2 (Living Angleously) - llll (WIN) - Write in: (Alix Spezia vs. Mackenzie DeCenzo, 24/7 Title - l) Most Shocking Moment (DONE) - Peter Knight and Axel turn on Zack Malibu - Drek Stone returns - ll - Anglesault returns (8/10 HD) - Bruce Blank's home invasion - ll (WIN) - Caboose's forced retirement - Upstarts piss on OAOAST banner - Write in: (PRL's betrayal - l) Most Entertaining Segment (Non-Match)DONE - Bruce Blank's home invasion - l - Upstarts piss on banner (Angle Awards '05) - Drek Stone's "shoot" (3/23 HD) - l - Love Shack (Syndicated 5/13) - l (WIN) - Drek Stone-PRL contract signing (9/7 HD) - Write in: (Alix Spezia wins the 24/7 Title (the HD after AngleMania) - l) (Rodez parodies LC - l) Best Face (DONE) - Bohemoth - l - Zack Malibu - llll (WIN) - Leon Rodez - Write in: Best Heel (DONE) - Bruce Blank - lll (WIN) - Alfdogg - l - Tha Puerto Rican - Drek Stone - Landon Maddix - l - Write in: Best PPV Event (DONE) - AngleSlam - Great Angle Bash - ll - AngleMania V - ll (WIN) - Anglepalooza - School's Out - Write in: (November Reign - l) Tag Team of the Year (DONE) - D*LUX - l - Beverly Hills Blonds - lll (WIN) - Sooner Bruisers - Black T - Popick and PRL - Write in: (GPX - l) Best Feel-Good Moment (DONE) - Alfdogg wins World Title at AMV - lll (WIN) - Zack Malibu wins HI-YAH World Title at Zero Hour - Peter Knight wins World Title on January 1st - l - Bohemoth spinebusters Christian Wright (5/12 HD) - l - Write in: Rookie of the Year (DONE) - D*LUX - l - Landon Maddix - lll (WIN) - Bruce Blank - l - Write in: Most Underrated Wrestler (DONE) - Write in: (Christian Wright - l) (James Riggs - l) (Scotty Static - l) (Leon Rodez - l) (Colombian Heat - l (WIN)) Stable of the Year - Wildcards - lll (WIN) - Hooligans - Enterprise - ll - Write in: Male Wrestler of the Year - Alfdogg - llll (WIN) - Zack Malibu - Drek Stone - Tha Puerto Rican - Peter Knight - Landon Maddix - Bruce Blank - l - Write in: Writing Categories Most Undervalued - Ed Wood Caulfield - Tony149 - ll (WIN) - King Cucaracha - Papacita - l - KingPK - l - Write in: (Bruce Blank- l) Best Contribution to the Fed - King Cucaracha - ll (WIN) - Zack Malibu - Bruce Blank - l - Ed Wood Caulfield - KingPK - NYU - Write in: (Tony149 - l) (Alfdogg- l) Best Segment/Promo Writer - Ed Wood Caulfield - l - Zack Malibu - l - King Cucaracha - ll (WIN) - NYU - Patty O'Green - Tony149 - Write in: (Bruce Blank - l) Best Match Writer - PFL - Zack Malibu - ll (WIN) - Ed Wood Caulfield - Alfdogg - l - Tony149 - King Cucaracha - ll - Write in: Once again, congratulations to everyone.

Pay-Per-View Match of the Year: Leon Rodez vs. Landon Maddix for the 24/7 Title (AngleSlam) -------------------------------------------------------------- *GOOOOONG!* "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" and it's Interpromotional time as Leon Rodez emerges through the OAOAST sliding doors, wearing proudly the OAOAST orange and black with his tights and robe, once again challenging for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship. Leon seems jovial as usual as he walks down the rampway, miming high-fives to the fans beneath him beside the rampway. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is your InterPromotional Dream Match for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship of the WOOORLD! Introducing first, the challenger. Representing the OAOAST!! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... he weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds. The former three-time 24/7 Champion... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Leon vaults into the ring and salutes the crowd with a raised fist and a cheesy smile. Disposing of the robe, Leon then goes through some warm-ups, while all attention turns back to the entrance way. This is big. This is historic. This isn't understated, that's for sure. "Tell me exactly, what am I supposed to do Now that I have allowed you, to beat me! Do you think that we could play another game Maybe I could win this ti-ime." "I kinda like the misery you put me through Darling you can trust me, completely! If you even try to look the other way I think that I could kill this ti-ime!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The (almost) ever-present manager and recent romantic conquest of the 24/7 Champion, Megan Skye, leads the way as "Disturbed" by The Game fires through the arena. It's only been two weeks, but the OAOAST faithful are nothing if not observant and know exactly what that means. Boo time, as the 24/7 Champion Landon Maddix enters. Maddix takes in the surroundings and the elevated rampway he's stepping onto with a hint of unfamiliarity, but being the professional egotist he is he still finds time to raise his title belt overhead. Megan leads the one woman applause-fest as Landon now strolls on down the ramp, rocking his SWF Justice & Rule sweatshirt rather than his usual entrance garb. BUFFER And, his opponent! Accompanied to the ring by his Perfect 10, MEGAN SKYE! He represents the SWF... hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain! Weighing two hundred, twenty pounds. Tonight making his OAOAST Pay Per View debut, he is one half of the SWF World Tag Team Champions and the reigning, defending OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION... "THE SAVIOUR OF THE OAOAST"... this is LLLAAAANNDDOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMMAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Looking a little nervous to enter the ring and possibly with good reason, Landon hands off his dueling title belts and his sweatshirt to Megan on the rampway, keeping a careful eye on the ring. Leon watches on lounged in a corner, checking an imaginary watch on his wrist. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Referee Charles Robinson calls for Landon to get into the ring. And despite Leon's laid back attitude, Landon seems suspicious, preferring to stay on the rampway as he talks strategy with his manager. So Robinson tries to hurry him up another way, by calling for the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* With the bell gone and the match officially underway Landon accepts defeat and enters the ring...and promptly climbs right back out, letting Robinson know in no uncertain terms who's in charge here. The SWF's Power Couple have another team pow-wow on the floor, while Rodez bides his time by getting into his own 'pow-wow' with a smoking hot brunette in the second row. COLE What's with all this stalling? They don't do this in the SWF, why do it here? COACH Well we don't have word limits. COLE ... COACH Sorry. Finally Landon and Megan high-five and it seems the Champion is ready to go. Rolling into the ring, Maddix squares up to his challenger and starts to put the verbal beatdown on The Silky Smooth One~! Leon just stands there and takes it with a wry smirk on his face as Landon keeps on yapping. And yapping. And eventually, he seems to get to the point as he starts poking fingers and apparantly daring Leon to go chop for chop with him. Leon is happy to accept and even offers his chest to the Champion, giving him the chance to go first... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...a chance which Landon duly takes. With gritted teeth Rodez absorbs the chop, brushing it off as the proverbial ball is now in his proverbial court... ...but Landon DUCKS the chop... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and hits a second knifedge on Rodez! COACH C'mon, that ain't how it works! Just to make sure the fans know how smart he is, Maddix takes a moment to tap a finger to his temple while Rodez shakes off the chop, accepting that he was just outsmarted. Turning back around, it seems Landon is ready to resume the chop battle now as he slaps his chest, encouraging Rodez to try his luck. Leon sets and hesitates a little, half-expecting a duck of the head...which doesn't come. But his hesitation allows Landon to catch him napping with a quick thumb to the eye! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh come on! Right to the eyes! With Leon blinded, Landon pulls him around by the shoulder, exposing the chest again... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...for another knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another. By the arm, Maddix now loads Leon up, backing him off into the ropes and shooting him across the ring with an irish whip. Back shoots Leon as the 24/7 Champion swings high with a clothesline. Too high infact, especially as Leon ducks underneath. Not panicking, Landon tries again on the second rebound with a back elbow. Another duck from The Silky Smooth one leaves Maddix flustered though and in his efforts to redeem himself as quickly as possible he ducks his head, far too early, allowing Leon to leapfrog over thetop of the Champion! It takes a second or two but eventually Maddix realises he's been decieved again and pops back upright, looking around in confusion for his opponent... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and gets lashed with four sudden, almost Kobashi-speed knifedge chops to return the earlier favours! COLE What's good for the goose is good for the Landon! COACH What the hell does that mean? COLE ...man Coach, it's been a HOT night in Miami so far! Those four chops prove more than enough for Landon as he drops to his knees and BEGS OFF~! The prospect of a follow-up eyepoke prompts Leon to turn that down though, kicking Landon in the gut and pulling him right back up to his feet. With an irish whip by Rodez looks to send Maddix off the ropes, but it's reversed by The Next Generation. This time though, Leon uses the fact he's running at great speed to an offensive advantage and vaults right back at Maddix as he hits the ropes, wiping him out with a flying forearm! Out of the ring scrambles Landon looking to regroup, as Rodez bounds back up and blows a theatrical kiss to the Miami crowd! COLE And that's what you get for trying to embarrass Leon Rodez, Mr. Maddix! The 24/7 Champion bails out to the floor to recollect his thoughts and it's as good of a time as any to remind you there's No Disqualifications, No Countouts and Falls Count Anywhere in 24/7 competition. Leon seems to be hanging back for now though. I think he'd rather beat Landon in the ring, straight up, to further prove a point to the egotistical SWFer. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Maddix brushes the hair from his eyes and glares into the pro-Rodez crowd, shaking his head in disgust. Around ringside scuttles Megan to re-assure her man everything is okay and the Power Couple go into another discussion on the floor before Landon rolls back into the ring. An honourable guy, Rodez gives Maddix his space before Maddix offers up a knucklelock. But apparantly Leon watched Landon's match on Thursday and doesn't fall for the trick, sweeping behind into a waistlock before his eyes can be jabbed deep into his sockets again. Dropping to one knee, Landon tries to pick at the fingers to free himself from the waistlock. But when his technical ability fails him, Landon goes to what's worked for him most of his career. *CHING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Lowblow! COACH Where the hell did that 'ching' come from? COLE ...man Coach, it's been a HOT night in Miami so far! The fans in the American Airlines Arena really give it to the (half) Spaniard. So does Charles Robinson, but he doesn't matter. Shrugging the referee off, Landon hauls the winded Rodez off of his knees and to his feet, popping him in the jaw with a forearm. A second forearm finds the mark, before another irish whip puts Leon on the run again. Ducking the head, a backdrop seems to be Maddix next move again... ...but again it fails, as Leon vaults over top, taking the Champion over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout. Rodez still looks to be favouring his lower nutsack region, but rolls back to his feet to cut Landon's rush off with an armdrag. Another armdrag. And a third, Japanese style this time, Leon hanging onto the arm as he rolls through before threading the legs underneath the other arm and pulling Landon over with a crucifix cradle... 1... 2... Kickout. Both men up and momentum is on Rodez's side...until he finds himself snared in a cravaté. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE There's one. Hope you're keeping score at home. COACH Hope you're still awake at home too after he's done with this. The crowd rightfull crap on the glorified headlock as Landon holds it for all he's worth, smirking away as he hears the fans' reaction. The hold has slowed Leon down though. To a complete standstill infact, as he searches for a way to free himself from the Champion's grip. Rodez manages to get near the ropes and reaches out, inches away from the top rope...before grabbing it on the second attempt. Of course, Landon can't be DQed though, meaning he can hold on regardless. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Realising that the ropebreak lacks the 'break' it usually does, Leon has to try another tactic. So he grabs the rope again and starts to shuffle around, testing the ropes for how much give they'll allow. Landon watches on and tightens the hold a little, anticipating the challenger's next move and quelling it. But Leon keeps hold of the ropes. Twist, turn, set and... ...STOMP ON THE FOOT!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I half-expected a somersault and an acrobatic escape there from Leon. But unfortunately for the Champion, he full-expected it and got his foot stamped on for his trouble. The classic schoolyard tactic leaves Landon hopping on one foot, furiously arguing with referee Robinson that those sort of shenanigans shouldn't be allowed. But by arguing with the referee, he becomes distracted from his opponent, who sneaks up... ...AND STOMPS ON THE OTHER FOOT!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Haha! More mind-games from Leon and Landon Maddix is hopping mad right now! COACH I get it, I get it, cause he's hopping right? That's funny. Poor Landon doesn't know which foot to hop around on now and ends up hobbling around in clear pain, trying to reach down and nurse both of his feet at once. As he hobbles around towards Rodez though, he gets no sympathy, as The Silky Smooth One boots him in the shoulder blade, snapping him upright. Ducking low, Rodez then hoists Landon up and spikes him with an Inverted Atomic Drop, just as he thought it could get no worse. Bad feet and an achy breaky pelvis, Maddix flounders in the centre of the ring and gets caught napping, schoolboyed over by Rodez... 1... 2... No! Rolling out of the pin, Maddix has had enough of being shown up and with gritted teeth, flaming eyes and venomous intent he charges on his swollen feet looking to take Leon's head off with a vicious clothesline. Unfortunately, he ends up running right into a drop toehold. Landing across the middle rope throat-first, Maddix stays slumped as Rodez jumps back to his feet and ponders whether he should do what he's thinking of doing. "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" There's your answer. COLE Megan trying to use that towel to fan Landon down, but I don't think that's going to make much difference there young lady. Calling on the power of the fans, Rodez does a very special AngleSlam JIG~! to the delight of the Miami crowd. Rodez then hits the opposite ropes and sprints back at top speed directly at Maddix... COACH CALL THAT BITCH BOJA... ...NO! Maddix moves... ...but Rodez lands safely on the bottom rope and vaults back around. This time, the pointing to the temple by The Next Generation isn't quite so valid. And Megan lets him no, waving her trusty towel and screaming at her man to turn around. Landon does so and gets caught with a boo...NO! Landon catches the boot! Again he points to the cranium... *SMACK!* ...and gives Rodez a target to aim for with an Enziguri!! COLE Enziguri, which loosely translated from Japan means 'I hate your neck'. COACH For real? Rodez rolls over...AND POINTS TO THE TEMPLE~! OMGHEELTURN~! With Maddix facedown on the canvas, Rodez then quickly bundles the Champion over and makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! By the hair Rodez brings Landon right back up, but the challenger leaves himself open for a knee to the gut. Wisely, Landon declines to show how wise he is with a temple tap this time, instead measuring Rodez as he slumps against the ropes and charging. Rodez is waiting on him though, ducks the head and backdrops Maddix over the top, onto the OAOAST PPV rampway with a satisfying thud!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Quick as a flash, Megan scrambles up the steps and onto the ramp, positioning herself in between Landon and the ring to buy her man some time. COLE Well, it's been a far from auspicious start to Landon Maddix's first OAOAST PPV match. The crafty challenger has had an answer for everything Landon's tried and he's left the two-time former World Champion looking quite the fool so far. COACH And that's perfect. The way Maddix was talking two weeks ago, this had to happen. He needed to be shown up like this tonight. COLE Don't count Maddix out just yet though Coach. He's not called "La Cucaracha" for nothing. SUICIDE KING Of course. He's called that because he's a dirty no-good Spaniard. COACH & COLE ... Referee Robinson tries to tell Landon to get back into the ring, but is indignantly informed by La Cucaracha that he has an important match tommorrow night for the SWF and he needs to conserve his energy. Especially considering he's got to fly from Florida to Canada as soon as this match finishes. Leon has no time for that sob-story though and finally he's tired of the stalling, exiting the ring and meeting Landon on the rampway with a forearm strike! Megan scuttles off to safety as Landon returns the favour with a forearm, only for Leon to throw one right back, sending Landon sprawling down the ramp! COLE Uh-oh! The action has finally spilled out onto the entrance way and remember, falls count anywhere, so this one could go anywhere Coach! COACH Ten bucks says they end up in some water and party like it's ninteen ninety nine. COLE No, we've got that covered on the show already. With the 24/7 Championship in hand Charles Robinson follows down the ramp, as it's Landon's turn to strike, connecting with a patented forearm that sends Leon retreating back towards the ring. Soon learning that you shouldn't go forearm for forearm with La Cucaracha, Rodez stuns his opponent with a boot to the gut and pulls him in, setting up a piledriver on the rampway! But of course, that rarely works and as soon as he finds himself in trouble, Maddix snaps upright to backdrop Rodez over, with another hard thud on the ramp! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As soon as Rodez lands, Maddix is right on top of him with the cover... *THUD!* 1... *THUD!* 2... No! Annoyed at the two count and the OAOAST fans down below him, Maddix stomps away on The Silky Smooth One before glancing back to the ring. And apparantly, gaining an idea. The 24/7 Champion re-enters the ring and takes up a position on the far side of the ring, lounging against the ropes as he waits for Rodez to drag himself back up. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" The fans don't concern Landon now as Rodez pulls himself up and favours his lower back as he begins to lumber back towards the ring. As he does so though, it seems like rather than he going to Landon, Landon is going to come to him, as The Next Generation rushes the length of the ring... ...vaulting to the top rope... ...and SOARING a good 7 or 8 feet down the ramp, wiping Rodez out with a JAW-DROPPING Spaceman Plancha!!! "WWOOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WOW! COACH That's one way to shut these people up, huh? COLE Give the devil his due, that was impressive! In one motion Landon leapt to the top, then the next he goes flying down the aisle and takes out the challenger! One thing we know about Landon from the SWF, he's flashy, he's a show-off, sometimes without reason. But what you just saw there was the flash with an end product. Both men end up in a heap on the rampway as the crowd around them go wild, not for Landon as such but for the move. Landon ends up hurting from the landing as well as Rodez, but he's the first to react and drops on top of Rodez, forcing Robinson to rush over with the count... *THUD!* 1... *THUD!* 2... KICKOUT! Pushing up to his knees, Maddix takes issue with the count with referee Robinson. As always Robinson is quick to defend his count, so the Champion is forced to bring Rodez back up and pop under the jaw with another quick forearm. Rodez wobbles, as Landon then reels back... ...cravaté. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE There's number two. COACH 'Number two' is right. That's a steaming pile of number two. The fans are spared this time though, as after a few gratuitous wrenches of the head and some taunting of the crowd, Landon gets bored of the hold and changes things up. Wringing out the arm, an irish whip is set up, Landon sends Rodez back down the ramp and into the outside of the ring ropes...which Leon hangs onto, stopping himself from being rebounded back. RODEZ ALAN CLARK RULES!! COACH OH NO HE DIDN'T~! Oh yes he did and if anything's gonna rile up The Next Generation it's that, letting his heart rule his head as he furiously sprints down the ramp...and gets scythed down with another drop toehold, again landing throat-first on the middle rope, although this time of course on the outside of the ring. COLE Looks like Leon's going to put the ramp to good use here. Striding off towards the curtains, Rodez leaves Maddix hanging as he makes it at least halfway down the ramp before turning on his heels and sprinting back! The fans in the pits below reach out to their hero, thankfully not tripping him up as he rushes down... ...and down... ...and down... ...before eventually making it down the rampway and DRIVING his weight into the spine of the 24/7 Champion!! COACH CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES, YO~! Man I've missed doin' that! COLE If you weren't so bias you could do it every week. COACH Yeah, but what can you do? Maddix comes off the ropes with a hand pressed to his back and gets nailed with a right hand, before it's Leon's time to whip. Taking the arm, Rodez turns and shoots Landon down the ramp, which soon becomes down the apron, as Maddix manages to cut the corner where the ramp drops away... *CLANG!* ...but ends up crashing back first into the ringpost, slumping down against the outside of the middle turnbuckle as Megan yelps in shared pain on the outside. RODEZ How about a Shining Wizard, huh!? "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh yeah, a little poetic justice coming up! With Landon still slumped against the post Rodez takes a moment to get the crowd behind him, with the always popular rhythmical clapping. The claps slowly pick up pace as Megan is frantic, screaming at Landon to get up or move or show any meaningful signs of life what-so-ever. But he doesn't and the claps are barely seperate from each other now they're so quick as Leon bursts down the rampway again with another long run-up. A quick detour later, Rodez then takes flight, jumping the void from ramp edge to ring apron... *CLUNK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...BUT MEGAN PULLS LANDON TO SAFETY AND RODEZ WRAPS HIS RIGHT KNEE AROUND THE RINGPOST!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE DAMNIT! Megan Skye, interjecting herself in this match and saving Maddix's ass! COACH And probably wrecking Leon's knee too. Rodez writhes in agony, rolling into the ring and howling with pain as he clutches his right knee. Following him into the ring, referee Robinson seems understandably concerned as he checks on the challenger, most of the crowd eeriely quiet now except for the pocket of fans closest to Maddix and Megan who give them their rightful boos. COLE You might be right Coach, Leon looks like he's in a bad way and he's clutching that right knee, which is the same knee that had to be surgically repaired back in 2003 and put Leon out of this business for roughly a year. It's still braced up and obviously it's healed as fully as is physically possible. But it's still a surgically repaired knee and therefore a vulnerable bodypart. COACH And it's not like he just smacked it on the post either Mikey. He wrapped it around the post. Something like that can tear ligaments. COLE Or in Leon's case, re-tear ligaments. Referee Robinson seems to be in two minds about stopping the match but apparantly Leon is able to convince him he's okay to continue. Either that, or Charles doesn't want a riot on his hands. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Taking his sweet time, Landon fiddles with his hair on the floor before climbing back to the apron. Rodez is trying to use the ropes to pull himself back to his feet, but Landon ducks a foot into the ring and kicks him in the face, putting him right back down. Clasping the top rope, Landon then vaults in, coming down on the right knee with a very deliberate double stomp! LEON AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! COLE Wow, Rodez just screaming in pain there. We're going to see just how much of a ruthless streak Maddix has in him now I'm afraid. Rodez tries to crawl away but doesn't get very far on one leg, Landon strolling over and simply kicking him in the knee, almost mocking the injured challenger in the process. Another nonchalant kick to the leg is thrown before Landon reaches down and grabs the limp limb. Hooking the ankle under his arm, the cocky Maddix falls back and JARS it into the canvas with a KneeDT! And without relinquishing his grasp on the ankle, he chains it into a submission, rolling Leon over onto his back and applying a simple but effective under the circumstances Half Boston Crab. COLE Submission hold applied, but unless Leon is more injured than we think then this is just a weardown tactic, trying to soften the knee up a little further. COACH Well it's all cool working over a bodypart, but the question is what's it working towards? If Maddix doesn't have a hold that'll work the leg and get a submission, he might as well just forget about the injury and wrestle the match as he was. COLE I'm not sure what Landon has in his arsenal, Coach. From the footage I've seen, he never picks the leg as the bodypart to focus on though, so you may have a point. COACH Damn skippy. COLE Uhm...yeah. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd try to rally behind the challenger as he starts to fight the hold, realising that reaching the ropes won't do him any good and instead trying to push up on his hands and escape the crab on his own merits. Maddix tries to sit back and flatten Rodez back down, but Rodez is up on his hands now, creeping his free leg underneath him to aleviate some of the pressure. Realising he's losing the challenger, Landon throws in the towel on the crab, but not the leg as he quickly lifts and slams the knee into the canvas! And again! Leon's base collapses under him as the knee is bounced off the canvas a third time, before Maddix flips him over onto his back and whips around the leg with a spinning toehold, the prelude to the figure fou...NO! Rodez fights it, kicking out with his left leg time and time again until Maddix is sent stumbling away into a neutral corner. COLE Rodez is fighting, but this is all just desperation now. Hopping on one leg Rodez tries to get back to his feet, but he can't put any weight on the right leg, allowing Landon to catch him from behind. A kick to the back of the knee softens Rodez up, before Landon hooks him around the waist, tucking in the knee as he lifts the Silky Smooth One up, then brings him right back down with a shinbreaker! Even on one leg, Leon is fighting though... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and manages to throw a knifedge chop to back Landon off. But only temporarily, as Maddix clubs into him from behind again and quickly executes another shinbreaker! This time there's no fightback from Rodez and he hops helplessly on the one foot as Maddix pulls him into the centre of the ring, bringing him over with a dragon screw legwhip that further wrenches the internal workings of the knee in ways they shouldn't be wrenched. "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Again, tearing away at that leg. Maddix is in control, but time and time again in the past we've seen Leon in some bad situations and he's always shown tremendous amounts of heart. Pulling Rodez back up, Maddix picks the bad leg of the challenger and snaps an uppercut across the back of Rodez's knee. A second almost causes Rodez to buckle from the pain, but he gallantly stays up. Landon pulls him over with another quick dragon screw though to put an end to his resiliance. Straight from that, Maddix whips around Rodez's leg with a figure four in mind...but Rodez knows that spells disaster and with no other option he grabs a handful of Landon's blond hair and fires off a right hand! A second! Grabbing the hair again, Rodez goes for a third, but Landon suddenly WRENCHES at the knee with a spinning toe-hold which stops Rodez in his tracks. And with Rodez hurt, The Next Generation takes the opportunity to quickly apply the figure four leglock! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Aw, crap! COLE The Wrath Of Maddix, the time honoured figure four leglock, one move which Landon does have in his repetoire that works the leg. Rodez has got to escape this figure four and quickly, because I'm sure his knee cannot take much of this hold. With his hands clenched to his face, Rodez moans and groans with every wrench of the hold, the beaming Champion pushing up onto his hands to apply more pressure on the hold. The pain is clear, as Rodez pushes up to face Landon for a moment. But he quickly collapses back... 1... 2... Rodez pushes off of his shoulder, almost forgetting where he was for a moment. Landon has the hold applied tightly and Rodez, glancing towards the ropes, which won't aid him anyway. Maddix pushes up again, eliciting another howl from Rodez. The challenger grits his teeth through the pain for another attempt at finding a way out. But again Maddix wrenches the hold, which causes Rodez to fall to the mat again... 1... 2... THR--NOO! Rodez JUST pushes off the canvas in time! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The Miami crowd are doing their best to carry the challenger on now, despite how bleak the situation looks. Maddix gives another wrench of the figure four before glancing over to his corner and giving a little signal to Megan, who right on cue crawls into the ring and starts to MOP LANDON'S BROW with her towel in mid figure-four!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That's ridiculous!! Talk about arrogance, that's off the damn scale! COACH Come on Mikey, he doesn't want sweat in his eyes. COLE Please Coach. Maddix is suitably mopped down so Megan resumes her cheering duties on the floor. Meanwhile, Rodez is slowly sinking away it seems and looks to be just about out of it. But just as Robinson prepares to count his shoulder down, The Silky Smooth One decides he has to make one last effort and sits bolt upright! Teeth gritted, the challenger pumps his fists and whips the crowd into a frenzy as he leans to his left and starts to try and tip the balance of the hold! Maddix's cocky streak has disappeared now and he tries to stop Rodez from turning him, but the challenger is determined and fights through the pain barrier, managing to get onto his side... ...but Landon quickly unwraps his legs and releases the hold, before he can be turned. COLE I guess that counts as an escape...Maddix taking no chances there, he doesn't want to get caught in the deadly reversed figure four. A cheer goes up, but Maddix doesn't completely let Rodez go. Instead, he lifts Rodez's leg by the ankle before slamming it down into the mat. Landon follows up with a stomp just for good measure, before smirking out into the crowd. COLE Maddix has things going his way. He just needs to keep his focus... COACH Easier said then done when he's got thousands of OAOAST fans baying for his blood. Looking out into the sea of Floridian fans, Maddix tries to get an "S - W - F!" chant going, which is thrown asunder faster than Al Gore's presidential campaign. All this is good clean fun for Landon though, drafting in Megan to help with the chant. However, Rodez is using this time to drag himself up with aid from the ropes, still running on adrenaline as he hops across the ring. By the shoulder he spins Landon around, catching the shocked SWF superstar in the jaw with a hopping jab! A jab! A JAB! A... ...forearm, Maddix cutting off the trademark combo. Cockily Landon shoves the challenger away, waiting for Rodez to hop back before launching a basement dropkick low. The boots catch Rodez in the thigh and he shoots up, landing SPIKED on his head! Seeing this, Landon decides to make a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Maddix is quickly back up, laying in more vicious stomps. Rodez tries to fight him off with his free leg but Maddix is able to avoid the flailing leg and keeps kicking until finally Robinson has enough and decides to pull him away. Shoving Robinson aside, Maddix goes back over to Rodez and pulls him up. With a snarl, he then cups a hand under Rodez's jaw, pulling him face to face and spitting some insults at him. And SLAPPING him across the face! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leon is in no position to fight back and struggles even to stay on his feet...or rather, foot...as Landon tucks a leg in behind the challenger's and tucks the head over his shoulder. Leaning Rodez back, the Champion then pulls him forward, looking for the Crash Landon '05... ...but instead, crash landing across Rodez's knee, as he counters with an STO/Backbreaker!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE YES! Maddix got too cocksure of himself and he paid the price! COACH Yeah, but he got driven down on Leon's right knee. Leon sacrificed himself on that one. COLE Very true and the desperation counter did the challenger's leg no favours at all. But the Champion now has a damaged back to think about, as both men are down and...and WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING!? 'She' would be Megan Skye. And what 'she' is doing is sliding into the ring with a steel chair in hand, cautiously approaching Rodez and wielding the chair, waiting for a good shot at the right knee! Referee Robinson warns her to get out of the ring. He might as well have left ten minutes ago though, because nobody is listening to him. Megan continues to stalk the challenger, still without a good view of the leg, but Leon is getting up and the chair is wielded, ready to strike... ...UNTIL MEGAN GETS SPEARED DOWN BY... ...BY JADE RODEZ!?!?! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH What the hell!? COLE Jade Rodez to the rescue! Leon said he did his homework, I guess he knew what Megan was capable of and thankfully, he had his little sister watching his back! COACH Lame. COLE Well, you know what isn't lame Coach? COACH What? COLE This! CATFIIIGHT! CATFIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!! To the delight of the Miami crowd, Megan and Jade start scrapping on the mat, which soon turns into scrapping on the ramp as the bundle out under the ropes, still ripping and tearing at hair and flesh and whatever else comes to hand. Leon is up now, hobbling on one foot and faster that you can say 'I love it when a plan comes together' he's smiling as he sees his sister taking it to Ms. Skye. However, he wouldn't be smiling if he saw what was behind him. To his feet, Landon sneakily retrieves the steel chair and lies in wait. Screams of warning tell Leon something's wrong and he turns around. Just what Landon wanted, as he swings for the hills with the chair... ...DUCKED! Rodez manages to sweep under the chairshot and hop around to meet Landon coming a second time, blocking the chair... *CLANG!* ...and pushing it back into Landon's face! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Away sprawls Maddix, a look of anger masking the fact he's seeing stars right now as he falls into the corner. Rodez is right behind him and grabs hold of Landon's blond locks, pulling his head back and slamming it into the turnbuckle... ...and again... ...again... "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!!!!!" COLE No need for a recount in Florida that time, Maddix sent into the buckle ten straight times and the tide may just be turning in the OAOAST's favour! Out from the corner hops Rodez, the fact he's on one leg not affecting his mobility too much. Rodez waits in the centre of the ring as slowly, very wobbly and pretty aimlessly, Landon comes staggering towards him. And before the woozy Champion can strike, he gets popped in the jaw with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Landon is on rubber legs now as Leon, on one non-rubber leg, turns to blow the kiss to the crowd and...stops, not trusting his leg to withstand hitting the usual enziguri. Luckily though Landon is already ducking the non-existant enziguri. So, with a shrug, Leon just spikes him with a DDT! COACH Mama Said Knock You Out...With A DDT Because My Leg's Busted! COLE Catchy. Again Rodez has to take a moment to tend to his knee, but with the 24/7 Championship beckoning he grits the teeth and drapes an arm over Maddix's chest... 1... 2... NO! COLE That injured knee isn't just going to hurt Leon physically, but it's also going to hurt his chances of winning this match. I doubt he can get Maddix up for the Backpack Stunner and he's got no chance of a 450. What does the challenger have in his bag of tricks to beat Maddix with only one leg? COACH He could just waffle him with the chair. COLE No complaints here. Up hops Leon again and he waits on the 24/7 Champion, who is looking around ringside for some advice from his trusty manager. However, his trusty manager is in the backstage area, probably still clawing away at Jade Rodez's face. Maddix has to go it alone now. Stumbling up he suddenly makes a break forward, trying to clip out Leon's knee from the front. The challenger is able to side-hop him though, Landon skidding harmlessly (for Leon, at least) across the mat. Landon pops right back up and charges again...but this time, runs into a back elbow! That seems to lock Landon a little loopy and allow Rodez to wrap on a front facelock. Cradling the leg, Rodez takes Maddix over with a Fisherman's Suplex, with a bridge... 1... ...but his right knee is buckling, so Rodez lifts it off the canvas, maintaining the bridge with the left leg... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Amazing neck strength to bridge with one foot, let alone two, but again the bad knee is hampering every idea Leon has right now. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Up goes the chant again, the crowd sensing Rodez needs a little encouragement as he tries to figure out exactly what he can use for a next move. Maddix looks to cut him off before he gets the chance, swinging with a clothesline. And missing with a clothesline, Rodez watching Maddix 360 around and lifting for an inverted atomic drop...but wisely realising that'd hurt his knee, so instead dumping Landon down with a Stone Cold Spinebuster (which keeps him standing, but Landon hurting). As Maddix clambers up from that, an elbow jabs him in the abdomen...and again, doubling him over a little, so Leon can grab a 3/4 headlock. Pointing to the corner, Rodez is looking to slice some bread now as he runs to the buckles... RODEZ AAAHHH! ...but running isn't wise with a bad leg and he has to stop before he reaches the corner, releasing Landon to tend to his knee... ...and getting pulled down across his knees with a Lungblower!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Again the knee halts the challenger's progress and that may have been the crucial tweak of the knee there! Scrambling around, Maddix hooks the good leg, leaving Leon with only the bad limb to try and kick out with... 1... 2... ONLY TWO!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE But Leon Rodez refuses to be beaten! COACH No doubt. He's got a lot of gumption. I don't know what gumption means, I don't know if anyone else does, but whatever it is he's got it. Maddix has had enough now as he storms to his feet, ripping at his own kneepad and exposing his right knee as he backs into a corner. COLE Shining Wizard! Landon's going for the Shining Wizard and if he hits this, it's over! COACH But if he misses, he's gonna end up with a knee like Leon's. The challenger is hurting now and slowly to his feet, the crowd trying to warn him again as Landon lies in wait. Maddix is impatient, encouraging Leon up, shouting at Leon to get back to one knee. Pushing himself up off the canvas, Leon starts to get up and Landon starts to run...but the challenger can't put any weight on the right leg, unable to get the knee under him and forcing the eager Champion to skid to a halt, returning to the corner. Clearly in pain, Rodez now plants the other leg on the mat as he starts to pull himself up, feeding the knee for Landon as he again charges forward... ...AND GETS SPEARED OUT OF THE AIR BY RODEZ!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE RODEZ SAW HIM COMING! Rodez saw Landon coming the first time and he was ready by the second! COACH What a counter, too! COLE COVER!! 1... 2... 3 -NOOOOOO! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Referee Robinson takes the brunt of the abuse as he signals that Landon's shoulder barely shot off of the canvas at two. Despite the obvious disappointment, Rodez doesn't dwell on the two count and hobbles back to his feet, bringing Landon up with him with a handful of hair. RODEZ BANANA HAMMOCK! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE He's gonna go for it, but I don't think his knee will hold out! Again with the 3/4 headlock, Rodez knows this is going to take his last amounts of energy and pauses for a moment, soaking in some oxygen before hoisting Landon up...BUT THE KNEE GIVES WAY! COLE Just as I thought, that knee is too damaged for Leon to carry two hundred and twenty pounds on his back, even for a second. Rodez uses the ropes to help himself back up and curses his bad idea as he limps away, to where Maddix is waiting on him with a Dropsault...CAUGHT! Rodez catches the legs and Maddix drops down on the back of his head, before getting turned over into the Boston Crab! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Woah, where did that come from!? COLE I don't know and I don't honestly care! All that matters is, Maddix is in trouble and this seems to be a move that won't damage the knee of the challenger! Rodez sits back and is already nodding his head, satisfied that he's finally got the 24/7 Champion where he wants him. Meanwhile, the agonised Next Generation starts to claw and crawl with a grimace on his face, knowing that with one leg Leon's balance won't be as strong. "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" The referee is right there with him to check for a tap-out, but Maddix shakes his head with a 'no', scanning around the ring for the ropes. But Rodez sits back a little further with the hold and it seems like La Cucaracha is trapped and resigned to defeat... "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" ...until suddenly, he starts pushing up! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Maddix has his eyes locked on the bottom rope and begins to reach out for them, crawling across the ring. He knows he can't make a break of the hold, but at least with the ropes in hand he technically can't lose the match. Rodez can't stop Maddix's crawl and every time he's brought back a step, he's stepping onto the right leg once more. Despairing boos fill the air, as Landon is just a short distance away from the ropes. And with no way of stopping his opponent and no plans of trying to drag him forward, Leon is left to cling on and hope... ...as Landon makes the ropes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Maddix has the ropes, but Rodez doesn't have the break the hold! COACH He'll break it, you watch. He's too much of a nice guy. And Coach's prediction is dead-on, as Rodez does throw down the legs of the Champion, although mainly to nurse the right leg again. Maddix is still clutching the ropes for all his might, until he finally realises the hold is broken. And quick as a flash, he twists around and grabs Rodez's right knee, tugging away at the buckles of his kneebrace!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Hey...HEY, COME ON! COACH That's what being a nice guy gets ya. COLE This is uncalled for! I know it's No Disqualifications but Robinson needs to get in there and stop this! That kneebrace isn't there for decoration, it's there for a reason! Maddix seems to have the brace unfastened and is trying to pull it off now, but Rodez knows what trouble he'll be in if that happens and starts wailing away on the back of Landon's head, punching him erraticly until the Champion is fended off. Quickly Rodez rolls away and to a neutral corner, trying to re-attach his kneebrace before any further damage can be done. *CRACK!* "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Too late. COLE DAMNIT! CHAIRSHOT, RIGHT TO THE KNEE! Collapsing in a fit of pain, Rodez writhes in agony, his kneebrace doing nothing to protect his knee from twisting from the force of the steel chair. Standing over the challenger, a smug grin forms of Maddix's face as he shrugs his shoulders, mouthing to the fans that "it's in the rules". And just to demonstrate the point further... *CRACK!* "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *CRACK!* "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *CRACK!* "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...he SMASHES the chair down across the knee three more times, with referee Robinson powerless to stop him! "FUCK YOU LAN - DON!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* "FUCK YOU LAN - DON!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* "FUCK YOU LAN - DON!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* The grin is now a smile from ear to ear, as Landon adjusts his grip on the chair, pointing the top of the steel impliment down...AND JAMMING IT INTO LEON'S KNEE, IN TIME WITH THE CLAPPING!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on, enough is enough! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Rodez is barely moving now, balled up and clutching his knee with groans and moans of pain just about audible over the hostile crowd. Finally Robinson steps in in the name of good taste and tries to get the chair away from Landon, only for Landon to toss the chair aside himself. He's done with it. He's got other ideas. Pulling Rodez agonisingly into the centre of the ring by the ankle, Maddix kicks the inside of the knee! And again! MADDIX WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ...before whipping around and applying the Wrath Of Maddix again!! COLE Right back to the Figure Four! And I don't think that kneebrace is on properly...it could be doing more harm than good right now! The Silky Smooth One is screaming in pain now, hands clutched to his head as his knee is ripped and torn away at by the hold. Referee Robinson is right beside him to check for a submission, as Maddix starts to rock up and down, putting even more downward pressure on the knee. Eventually, with the pain sinking in, Rodez slumps backwards and his shoulders pin to the mat... 1... 2... Rodez sits up, but doing so causes him to roar in pain even more! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE The crowd are trying to rally behind the challenger, but I don't know how much good that's really going to do. COACH None, that's how much. Comfortable in the hold Maddix resorts to some trash-talking now, making the most of it while Leon is still face to face with him. Because he doesn't stay there long, the pain again sapping at his energy levels and leaving him to slump back down to the canvas. A very clear laugh from Landon earns a few boos, but most of the fans are busy encouraging Leon on now, watching on nervously as he begins to fade away...and his shoulders fall to the mat again... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP, but just barely! COLE Rodez is slipping away here! Hid body is in danger of shutting down due to the pain and right now, it might be wise of him just to tapout and live to fight another day much as it pains me to say it. COACH Then don't say it! He's representin' the OAOAST, he'd better not just give up on us! COLE And risk ruining his career!? COACH If he taps out here, he might just ruin his career because Axel might just can his ass. Running on fumes now, Rodez sits up on his elbows and tries to summon some more reserve strength, in tremendous pain as he starts to try and tip over to the side, to reverse the hold. But his body is too weak to even get onto his side now and Maddix just rocks him right back over, pushing up the straight leg, further adding damage to the already damaging hold. With the referee right in his face Rodez looks about ready to give. His hand is hovering and he's seemingly about to tap. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" But suddenly, another wave of chants come and Leon wags the finger at Robinson, ready to try again and escape! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Pushing up onto his hands, Rodez growls as he tries to block out the pain, raising one fist in the air and trying to lever himself over to that side. Having caught a chance to relax, Maddix now starts to wrench at the hold again, trying to stop Leon in his tracks. But Leon is still fighting, still determined, pushing over and getting onto his side... ...tipping... ...turning, and... ...MADDIX PULLS HIM RIGHT BACK DOWN!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh no. I think that was Leon's last spurt of energy right out of the window there. Taking no chances, Maddix is putting his all back into the hold now as the chants of the fans are draining away. Rodez is doing the same now, trying to find the heart and the battle for one last attempt, but simply unable to. Slowly he sinks down, referee Robinson's questioning not even getting a 'no' now, as Rodez falls back, pain etched on his face but not a lot else in the way of movement. Robinson checks for any signs of life. And for a moment, Rodez seems to respond. But his shoulders are down and Robinson quickly notices... 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE That's it, it's over. COACH What!? Robinson calls for the bell and the crowd sink down just as lifelessly as Leon, as sure enough "The Game" cues up over the sound system. Even Landon looks a little surprised that the match is over. But once Robinson explains what has happened, the 24/7 Champion's only response is to demand his belt. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen... your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion... LANDON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAADDIIIIXXXXXX!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rodez isn't completely out but he's as good as, as Maddix snatches his title away from Robinson. Strolling over to the fallen OAOAST favourite, he then places a foot over the chest, smiling away as he poses over the fallen hero. COLE Look at this disrespect! Landon Maddix is spitting in the face of the OAOAST right now! He beat one of our own and he beat him to the point where he couldn't defend himself, surely that's enough? And now this. COACH He didn't just beat him Mikey...he pinned him with a figure four. When was the last time you saw that? COLE I can't remember ever seeing it Coach. But I can't remember seeing someone get their knee, their already injured knee, torn apart like that and keep fighting to the point that they simply couldn't continue like we just saw. Leon Rodez didn't tapout, he didn't give up, but he was in that figure four for at least a minute and a half, two minutes even and eventually his body just gave out on him. He couldn't respond to the count and that's why Landon Maddix is still the OAOAST 24/7 Champion. As Maddix exits the ring and poses on the rampway, to another chorus of boos, a small group of trainers and EMTs jog past and enter to check on Rodez, who is still barely conscious. Taking a last glance back into the ring, Maddix flicks the hair from his eyes and smiles. Before then turning around and realising that Megan is probably still scrapping, so turning tail and leaving. COLE Leon looks to be in a bad way here. I just hope this isn't as serious of an injury as the one that he suffered two years ago. COACH Yeah. I'm no big fan of the guy, but you don't wanna see this.

...AND DRIVES IT ACROSS THE RIB CAGE OF LEON RODEZ! SCHIAVONE SON OF A BITCH! Loud booing, perhaps the most ever heard inside an arena anywhere in the world, drowns out the shriek of pain from Rodez. Malibu, infuriated, hops up on the wall of the cage, shouting at his foe...who responds by smashing the wall of the cage with the bat, sending Zack hopping back down to ringside! VENTURA We knew what this was going to be, Tony. We knew, and they sure as hell all knew. It's not surprising that Blank and his boys are looking to take it to the next level, but to have to endure what Zack has endured, and now be the one to have to sit and watch, even for those few moments, as the people who stepped up to help him are brutalized, has got to be affecting his fragile mental state! Leon, just like earlier, tucks and rolls, trying to get out of range of an assault. The barbed wire from the bat has opened up cuts on his lower torso. Blank now looks to his partner Cortez, checking on his condition, and together the two of them step out of Ring One and into Ring Two, where Jax and Static are paired off with Maddix and Bloodshed. Bloodshed pulls away from Jax, who is bleeding heavily from above his eye, and Cortez runs in and crushes him with a leaping corner splash before he and Bloodshed take an arm and whip him out of the corner, towards Blank, who stands waiting with the bat. Jax is sent forward, but he DUCKS THE BAT SHOT~! and bounces off the ropes, cracking Bruce on the rebound with his trademark YAKUZA KICK~! that staggers the big man, sending him falling back to the ropes! Jax hits the ropes again, but now Cortez and Bloodshed get in the way...only to be blasted by a double clothesline from Jax! SCHIAVONE Johnny Jax, the most recent entrant and thus the freshest for Zack's team, is taking it to the three Wildcards! Jax reaches down and picks up Bloodshed, pressing him over his head and hurling him from Ring Two back into Ring One! Before he can turn around however, Cortez crawls across the mat and hits a low blow, and Cortez and Blank then decimate him with a combination Cortez sweep kick/big boot from Blank! VENTURA The numbers game again gets put into effect, because it just took two of them to take out Johnny Jax! Angered, Static comes away from his being tied up with Maddix, and leaps onto the back of Bruce Blank! Quickly, Bruce tosses his bat aside and reaches up, snapmaring Scotty over to the canvas...and upon landing, he's prone for a basement dropkick from Cortez! The lumbering redneck hits the ropes as fast as he can, coming off and then drops his huge tree trunk leg across the throat of Scotty Static, another double team effort successful in taking out a member of the GPX! Bruce gets up and reclaims his bat, standing over Static and pressing the side of it alongside his forehead...and then quickly pulls back on it, raking the razor sharp wire across Static's face! SCHIAVONE This is torture! This is company sanctioned TORTURE! In Ring Two, Blank, Maddix and Cortez pummel the GPX mercilessly, beating on both Hooligans with vicious intent. In Ring One, both Bloodshed and Leon Rodez are wounded and aching, and Bruce Blank steps over one set of ropes, and then over the other so that he's in Ring One, looming over Zack Malibu's Usual Suspect partner. "LET ZACK IN!" "LET ZACK IN!" "LET ZACK IN!" The crowd reaction is thunderous, shouting at officials and hoping that Father Time moves faster than he has been, because Zack Malibu will be able to enter the ring and turn the tide. Malibu, desperate to get into the match, paces ringside, glaring through the holes in the cage as he has to sit by and watch his three allies suffer despite their best abilities. :10 :09 SCHIAVONE THE COUNTDOWN IS ON! VENTURA In just a few seconds, the roof is going to blow off this place, Schiavone! :06 :05 :04 SCHIAVONE He's ready, Jess, he's more ready for this than anything in his life! :02 :01 *BZZZT!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the final entrant in the contest, ZAAAAAAAACK MALIBU. Now, The Match Beyond can begin, only to end on a submission or a surrender! The crowd EXPLODES as the door swings open and Malibu races up the steps...AND GETS BLASTED WITH A BIG BOOT FROM BRUCE BLANK~! Malibu flies off the steps and down into the guardrail, and now the monsterous redneck steps out of the cage, trailing his rival! VENTURA What the...you can't leave a cage during War Games, that's the whole POINT OF IT BEING THERE! SCHIAVONE Blank didn't want Malibu coming in, but he's coming out after him! Slamming the door behind him, Blank comes and takes Malibu by the head, bringing him over to the wall of the cage and hurling him facefirst into it! Malibu bounces off the cage wall and falls on all fours, only to be doubled over with a soccer kick from the Southern sadist! SCHIAVONE There's carnage in the ring, and now there's chaos on the outside as well! Malibu struggles to get up, but as he does, Blank leans over the railing and shoves a twenty-something fan on his ass, stealing the man's ringside seat! Folding it up in his grasp, Blank brings the chair up over his head and then down onto the crown of Malibu's, the end result being a blow that echoes throughout the arena like a gunshot! VENTURA He laid him out before he even set foot in the ring, Tony! Blank stands over Malibu's body and takes the chair length-wise, ramming the edge of it down into Zack's throat and choking him out! Malibu wearily tries to fight it off, but can't do much after being knocked senseless. Suddenly, security and staff come flocking to ringside, deflecting the debris hurled by fans at Bruce Blank and try to get the redneck away from Malibu so that War Games can continue the proper way! SCHIAVONE We've got two rings surrounded by a steel cage, and an arsenal that would make a government operative jealous, and yet Bruce Blank just couldn't allow Zack Malibu to get inside those cage walls! VENTURA Blank might not look like a scholar, but he's a smart man. He came at Zack with some outside the box thinking. We knew about the obvious things tonight...the weapons, the numbers advantage, all of that was known heading in. What Zack Malibu did not expect is that the moment where he was expected to save the day, the moment where he was to shine, that he'd be blindsided and eliminated from this contest! SCHIAVONE And if he can't get into that cage, what does that mean? Will the OAOAST be able to send someone else out here? VENTURA You know anyone who WANTS that job? After being lured away from Zack, Blank reaches over and snags Michael Buffer's microphone, addressing his victim. BLANK Zacky boy! C'mon Zacky, this match can't end until we're all inside that cage together! Whaddya say we get you up and get you in there, huh? Blank motions for Zack again, but the staff keeps him at bay, as doctor's check the huge laceration across the top of his head. Blank shoves several people down, making his way to Zack, but he's driven back by the sheer number of people so that the medics can do their job. Blank laughs all this off, bickering with fans as he gets pelted with garbage. On his own will, he climbs back up the steps and opens the cage door, shouting for Zack to "come and get him"! SCHIAVONE That sick, sick son of a bitch. He's laid out Zack Malbu on the floor, and kept the numbers game in his favor...not to mention he's prolonging the matchup by doing so! VENTURA You called it torture before, Tony, and that's what he's doing. Bruce Blank has corralled the GPX and Leon Rodez, three people who decided to include themselves in Zack's war with The Wildcards, and he is punishing them for their actions! As the door shuts behind him, Blank grabs the recovering Leon Rodez in a full nelson, hoisting him off his feet and planting him with a full nelson slam on the canvas! Calmly, the big man reclaims his trusty equalizer and runs it along the wall of the cage, looking out at Zack Malibu, who is being helped to his feet down on the floor. SCHIAVONE He's so damn non-chalant about it! I don't think Blank even considers this a matter of winning or losing, as long as he can get under Zack's skin! VENTURA I'm pretty sure he's succeeded tenfold when it comes to that! In Ring Two, Maddix has Static pressed under the bottom rope, against the wall of the cage, placing his foot on his throat. Bloodshed tugs at the eyes of Johnny Jax, raking his face back as he sits on his back, and then starts viciously crossfacing him, beating him into a daze. Cortez switches off, helping both of his partners work the GPX over, until he's motioned by Blank to join him in Ring One. SCHIAVONE Blank calling for Cortez to join him now, and one can only wonder what's in store for Leon Rodez, who has taken perhaps more punishment than anyone in the ring tonight! Blank points to Leon with his bat, nodding for Cortez to bring Leon to his feet. Cortez obliges, and sets Leon in a standing headscissors. He reaches down and grabs him by the waist, yanking him up in the air...but as Leon is risen off the mat, he reaches up and grabs the roof of the cage, not allowing Cortez to bring him down! VENTURA He blocked the powerbomb attempt! Cortez pulls and pulls, and finally Leon's grip slips...BUT AS HE FALLS HE COUNTERS WITH A RANA THAT TAKES CORTEZ OVER! The crowd roars as Leon hops to his feet, but Blank swings for the fences with the baseball bat...AND IT'S DUCKED! JAB! JAB! JAB! JAB! Leon Rodez opens fire with his quick, educated right hands, but as he spins around for the parting shot, Cortez grabs him by the throat and lifts, dropping him with a modified powerbomb! SCHIAVONE URBAN ASSAULT! The crowd dies down as quickly as they picked up when Leon made his brief comeback. Cortez, after taking him down, locks the bad leg in a single leg crab, yanking on it and causing Leon to scream in pain, even as Blank comes and starts dropping elbows on his sternum! VENTURA They're doubling up on the most wounded party! This match is going to end very soon, Tony! SCHIAVONE It can't end until Zack gets in the ring! VENTURA IF Zack can get in the ring! Zack, who has been sat down and observed at ringside, finally comes to and starts shoving people away from him left and right. Medics, security, road agents, no one is safe, as Malibu starts flipping out at ringside! Malibu gets up and charges for the door, to the loudest pop you'll ever hear...and poor Charles Robinson goes FLYING as Malibu shoves him off the steps and sets into the ring himself! SCHIAVONE MALIBU IS IN! ZACK MALIBU IS UP AND IN THE RING! The bell sounds, signalling that we're now entering the final portion of the match. Fueled by the fans and his own personal rage, Malibu comes in the ring, and an unhappy Blank approaches...but stops dead in his tracks after Malibu splashes his face with something that causes the big man to scream loudly! VENTURA What the hell... With Blank frozen in place, Malibu takes what he's got and pours some on Cortez's head, causing Cortez to shout out in agony as well, and break his hold on Leon Rodez! After saving his partner, Malibu turns and blasts Blank across the head with what he's got, and then lets it fall to the canvas. The cameras close in on the object, and Malibu, ever the opportunist, swiped a bottle of ALCOHOL from the medical kit on the floor! SCHIAVONE That's a bottle of alcohol! That'll dry out any wound... VENTURA ...and blind you just as easily! Bruce Blank can't hurt what he can't see! For the first time in his life, Blank is helpless and unable to defend himself, as Malibu picks up the bat that he dropped. Standing before Blank, Zack cocks the bat back and swings, catching Bruce across the ribs! He steps over and swings again, this time cracking him between the shoulder blades and dropping him to one knee! Cortez, who wasn't blinded by the alcohol but just stunned, gets up and tries to rush Zack, but Malibu turns his head and sees him coming, and cracks the streetwise superstar with a SCHOOL'S OUT, knocking Cortez out with the fatal blow! SCHIAVONE Cortez goes down! Bruce is helpless! TEAM OAOAST IS COMING BACK! In Ring Two, Maddix has Static set up for a suplex, but Scotty blocks, and then lifts Maddix off his feet and drops him between the ropes and the cage wall, then takes the back of his head and starts ramming it repeatedly against the wall of the cage! Seeing Jax having trouble with Bloodshed, Scotty backs away from Maddix, and gets the bat from Zack, who voluntarily tosses it into Ring Two! Jax, in a last ditch effort to save himself from the assault, powers out of the corner and wraps his arms around Bloodshed's waist, shoving him forward...RIGHT INTO A RUNNING BAT SHOT ACROSS THE FOREHEAD FROM SCOTTY STATIC! VENTURA They're on the comeback trail...but why would Zack get rid of the bat? Like any good question, the answer is imminent, as within seconds, Malibu reaches into his boot and pulls out his own hidden object. Metallic with three prongs on the end of it, Zack Malibu now brandishes a FORK, and digs it into the head of Bruce Blank, peeling back his flesh with an object normally used to eat a salad! SCHIAVONE HE'S GOT A FORK! ZACK MALIBU IS CUTTING BRUCE BLANK OPEN WITH A FORK! Blank shouts and screams, but the pleas fall on deaf ears, as none of his teammates are in the shape to help him! Being that they're the only ones in the arena who actually would, Blank is shit out of luck, as Malibu goes to work, running a cut across the length of his forehead before leading him over to the ropes. Malibu takes Blank's head and presses it down on the top rope, pushing his throat hard onto it...then he leans over and tugs on the middle rope while forcing Bruce down, pulling the middle rope over the top rope and trapping Blank's head between the strands! VENTURA He's got him trapped! Blank has nowhere to go! SCHIAVONE And if he doesn't get himself untangled, he's going to run out of oxygen! Blank kicks his legs, his eyes tearing from the alcohol that has blinded him and put him in this position. With Bruce's head trapped, Malibu takes the barbed wire bat again and starts WAILING on Bruce's back, each shot ripping at his shirt and his flesh, until Malibu tears the remains of the shirt off and starts raking the bat across his back, peeling the flesh back at a rapid pace! Over in Ring Two, Static has found Bloodshed's spike, but as he picks it up, Maddix swings him around...only for Static to take his legs out from under him! Holding Landon's two legs in the air, Scotty shows the crowd the spike, and drops to his knees, jabbing the sharp point of the spike into an area that NO MAN wishes a sharp object to go near! VENTURA That's just WRONG! Maddix starts screaming and kicking to get away, but Static drags him by the legs towards the center of the ring, and threatens to make another play for the sore spot, until Maddix's panic leads to words that his allies certainly did not want him to say. "Nnnnnn...nnNOOOOOOOOOOOO...NO...I QUIT! I QUIT! I QUIT!" SCHIAVONE HE GAVE UP! LANDON MADDIX HAS SURRENDERED! THE WILDCARDS JUST LOST WAR GAMES! VENTURA There's a certain part of me that doesn't blame him, Schiavone! The bell sounds, and the fans go WILD, as Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, and the GPX are triumphant. Immediately upon the bell sounding the door opens, and officials try to quell the madness, since there is no need for more. Malibu, of course, is the toughest to seperate, as he leans in to Bruce's trapped head and mouths in his ear the ominous words "I'm not done with you, you son of a bitch!" The cleanup crew has hit the ring, and Megan Skye rushes in, running right for Landon to check on his (and his "little friends") condition. SCHIAVONE It's madness inside the cage, because even though they've gotten the victory, they don't want to let this go! The GPX put their hands up as officials block them off from Maddix and Megan, and even Bloodshed, who sits himself up against the corner and wipes the blood from his eyes. Malibu is kept back by a wall of officials as Blank's head is freed from the ropes, and he simply collapses to the mat out of exhaustion and lack of oxygen, which has to make everyone in the arena happy. Rodez, who rolled to the spot in between rings, is helped to his feet by Charles Robinson and Nick Patrick...but as the two referees help him to his feet, Todd Cortez, recently recovered from the School's Out, comes and snags him by the head, pulling him away from the referees... VENTURA What's HE doing? Get some control in their, Patrick! SCHIAVONE Oh no... VENTURA Holy... Cortez, in a flash, lets go of Leon alright...but not before leaping over his back and bringing him back down to earth right on the top of his head, compressing his neck and spine as he drops him on the hard surface of the two ring aprons pushed together with the RIOT ACT PLUS~! SCHIAVONE No! NO! THIS MATCH WAS OVER! THE MATCH IS OVER! VENTURA HE JUST BROKE HIS NECK, TONY! Upon seeing this, Malibu bolts through the wall of people keeping him at bay, tackling Cortez to the canvas and unloading on him! Everyone tries to get Malibu off of him, but then the GPX start fighting THEM for interfering with Malibu's attack! SCHIAVONE It's chaos in the cage! Everything is going to hell! Cortez manages to roll away in the madness, with the GPX fighting through security to try and get at him, while Zack crawls over to Leon. Zack looks at him, and the cameras show a glazed look in Leon's eyes as he lays perfectly still. Malibu screams "HE'S NOT MOVING! SOMEONE HELP HIM, HE CAN'T MOVE!" as loud as he can, and time suddenly stands still. OAOAST staff stop worrying about everything and anything and rush to Leon's side, checking on him but being sure not to jar his body or move him in the slightest. The Wildcards have been led out of the cage, and despite the loss tonight, despite their condition, they know that mentally, they still came out ahead. Malibu walks to the wall of the cage and screams for a stretcher, shouting "WE NEED HELP OUT HERE! NOW!" as two more medics, wheeling a stretcher, and even Anglesault himself charge out from the back. Zack turns back to his friend, who is still motionless, while the camera cuts to a shot of The Wildcards, Maddix, and Megan, looking like they just stepped out of a car wreck...and HAPPY ABOUT IT. VENTURA Tony, I fully admit that sometimes I advocate unfair play. Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat. Tonight, I mean, it's par for the course for The Wildcards to cross the line, but this is uncalled for. SCHIAVONE A man's career may now hang in the balance, again due to the unfortunate plague of ultraviolence that has been let loose on the OAOAST. Zack Malibu's team walks out with a checkmark in the win column, but the real story here is that The Wildcards have once again brutalized one of the OAOAST's brightest stars. On that note, the camera cuts back to the ring, where Rodez is slowly being slide under the ropes and onto the stretcher, as the cage is lifted off the ground. Malibu and the GPX hover over the medical staff and watch on, and fans are on their feet, checking with concern. A neckbrace is fastened to Leon's neck, and it's then that the scene fades out, leaving what should have been a night of celebration to end on a somber note.

Free TV MOTY: WARGAMES~! (10/28 Syndicated) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We cut back to the arena to a wide shot of the most fabled structure in wrestling, the double ring cage, which has been lowered into position. The crowd are buzzing as we get a quick tour around the cage, both outside and from out entrepid cameramen inside. Meanwhile, at the door to Ring One stands Michael Buffer, as it's time for war! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time... for your MAIN EVENT of the evening! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Well, here we go Jesse! Roll up your socks and get ready for war! VENTURA What an atmosphere Schiavone, unbelievable! BUFFER Tonight, the personal grudge between two opposing factions will come to a head, in the environment that has been etched in wrestling folklore like no other, in WAR GAMES!! At this time, the rules of War Games. War Games consists of seven periods, with the 1st period lasting 5 Minutes. All other periods with last for 2 Minutes. The first member of each team, as specified earlier in the night, will enter the ring and the first period will begin. At the end of the five minute period, the team which wins the referee's coin toss will send in a second man, giving their team a 2 to 1 advantage. Two minutes there after, the opposing team sends in their second man, evening the odds. After period 3, the winners of coin toss sends in their third man. Teams alternate during the remaining periods until all eight men have entered War Games, at which point, The Match Beyond shall begin! The only way to win is via Submission or Surrender! There will be no pinfalls, no countouts and no disqualifications. War Games only ends when a combatants makes any one member of the opposing team surrender. With the rules out of the way, the crowd give another loud roar. BUFFER Wrestling fans, ARE YOU READY? "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania... ARE... YOU... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - EEEEEEAAAADDYY!!?!!?!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Then, for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world on syndicated television... ladies and gentlemen... LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! "I walk a lonely road..." "The only one that I have ever known..." "Don't know where it goes..." "But it's home to me and I walk alone." The crowd collectively crap on "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams", but more specifically the four men that it plays to the ring. Leading the way is Bruce Blank, dressed for a fight and tooled up for a fight, with his trusty barbed wire baseball bat slung over his shoulder. Bruce jaws away at the fans who thrust their pro-Zack and anti-SWF signs in his path, just to wind the bigman up. Following regimently behind are Todd Cortez and Bloodshed, eyes focused ahead, not playing to the crowd at all. They're already in the proverbial 'zone', it seems. "I walk this empty street... "On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams." "Where the city sleeps... "And I'm the only one and I walk alone." But we have to go back a little further for their partner, as Landon Maddix and Megan Skye bring up the rear. And far from focused or daunted by the War Games structure, Landon is actually posing at the head of the aisle. Maddix eventually follows his three team-mates down, smugly declaring that he's 'ready for war', despite his cocky exterior. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time, the team representing the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation! Accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... he weighs two hundred, fifteen pounds, LANDON "LA CUCARACHAAAAA" MMMAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXX!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" And introducing THE WWWIIILLLDCARDS! First, at two hundred, twenty-five pounds... BLLLLLOOOOODDSSSHHHHHEEEEEDD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" From 'Hollywood Boulevard'... two hundred, twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOODD CCOOOOORRRRRTTEEEEEZZZZZ!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" And finally, the man leading his team into battle... he is "The Redneck Superman" and already one of the most controversial superstars in OAOAST history, ladies and gentlemen, this is BBRRRRRUUUUUCCEEEEE... BBLLLLLAAAAANNKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE A hostile reception, no more than these four are used to after their downright despicable acts ever since The Wildcards arrived in the OAOAST at the helm of Zack Malibu. The OAOAST has never been the same since and now, they join forces with Landon Maddix, looking to destroy four of the most recognisable faces in the company's history. VENTURA For as long as I can remember, people have been trying to knock Zack Malibu off of his perch. But nobody, nobody in the history of the OAOAST has gone to the lengths that Bruce Blank has, along with his Wildcard running buddies. They made this beyond personal and they pushed Zack to the edge. Tonight might be the night they send him spiralling the rest of the way into oblivion. They may be more powerful than ever after tonight. SCHIAVONE That's not a prospect that bears thinking about Jesse. The SWF team assemble at the door to Ring Two, the closest to the announce table. Luckily, with Tony and Jesse somewhere up in the cheap-seats there's no Coach or Cole around, meaning when Bruce slams his barbed bat down for safe keeping, only the fans closest are startled. Referee Nick Patrick is the man with the short straw guarding the door, keeping his distance from the foursome as he opens the door up... ...for Landon Maddix. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon looks for some high-fives on his way into the cage, but only Bruce obliges. So, with a quick kiss from Megan for good luck, Landon enters the War Games structure and takes it all in. Suddenly, Landon doesn't seem so cocksure of himself. SCHIAVONE Well, this is a bit of a surprise. Landon Maddix starting out for 'Team Wildcard', 'Team SWF' if you prefer, not the man I expected to lead the way. VENTURA I'm not sure how much say he had in the decision, but you don't wanna underestimate this guy. His record in Cage Matches in that other company is virtually spotless. Tougher than he looks. Plus, it gives The Wildcards some heavier ammunition as the match goes on. As Landon runs the ropes, making sure not to get a lashing of cage on the way, the opening strains of "Save Yourself" by Stabbing Westward bring the crowd to their feet! It doesn't take long for Zack Malibu to lead out the squadron, to another big roar, earning the fans a glowering from Bruce down at ringside. Behind Zack is his tag team partner, Leon Rodez. Much more serious than usual, although his cammo print robe and matching cammo print ring gear might be classed as a little goofy. No goofiness behind them as The GPX complete the team. BUFFER And, introducing their opponents! Representing THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER At a combined weight of four hundred and thirty seven pounds... the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, SCOTTY STATIC and JOHNNY "JAM" JACKSON... THE GGLLOOBBAALL PPAARRTTYY... EEEEEXXXXXCCHHAAAAANNGGEEEEE!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER From Grand Rapids, Michigan... two hundred, twenty pounds, he is one of the most beloved superstars in the OAOAST... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZ!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER And finally the team captain! Stepping into war tonight, bent on revenge, he is the most recognisable superstar in OAOAST history! The former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ZZZZZAAAAACCKK... MMMMMAAAAALLLLLIIIIIBBUUUUU!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE There they are, Team OAOAST, four men who at one time or another have been both close friends and sworn enemies. Infact, The Wildcards were brought in at Zack's request to take out The GPX in the first place. Add in Rodez's former association with The GPX and the tag team wars these four have had against each other and it's a combustable team. The past is the past though and these four must put their past differences aside if they're to survive tonight. VENTURA They're not just fighting for themselves tonight, Schiavone. They're not just fighting for Zack, or Candie or baby Jenna. They're fighting for the OAOAST! For each and every one of these people in the arena, watching in TV land and for everybody in the back. And me. So they'd better get along! SCHIAVONE The history is well documented. The reasons need no further explanation. It's time for war! And will tonight be the ultimate revenge for Zack Malibu, or the demise of his legacy and perhaps the future of this company as we know it? As Zack's team make it down to ringside, the first call of duty is for Leon Rodez, to hold Zack back from starting the match on the floor! The three Wildcards begin to move around to meet them but luckily the referees and cooler heads on the teams manage to prevent a brawl on the floor. SCHIAVONE The problem for the OAOAST team is that on the SWF team, Landon has his Land Of Nod, Cortez has at least two 'patented' submission holds capable of getting the win, plus whatever Bruce and Bloodshed have in their locker. Where-as on Team OAOAST, they don't really have a submission specialist in the team. And with that the only way to win, it might be a case of improvisation, without a go-to submission hold... VENTURA That we know of. Zack and co have known about War Games for a couple of weeks now, I'd like to think they've been working on some hold or another between them that'll earn a tapout. SCHIAVONE A good point Jesse. As the OAOAST foursome take their place by the door, off comes the robe as it'll be Leon Rodez to enter at number one! Rodez climbs into the doorway and fires up the crowd. He then takes a last pep-talk from Zack before weaving in through the ropes, the door shutting behind him... *DINGDINGDING!* ...and the bell sounding to signal the start of War Games! SCHIAVONE Rodez and Maddix to start, meeting for the first time since their battle at AngleSlam which "La Cucaracha" came up on the winning end of. From opposite rings Landon and Leon get their first looks at one another and predictably enough, the insults start flying as Leon steps out of Ring One and scrambles into Ring Two, trying to avoid being jumped in the process. He needn't worry though. As soon as Leon gets into Ring Two, Landon has gone the other way, escaping to Ring One and encouraging his adversary to 'calm down'. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Leon is quick to reverse and go back to Ring One though... ...but by the time he gets there, Landon is sneaking back into Ring Two. VENTURA Looks like Landon's stalling for time. But he ain't gonna be able to run for five minutes, surely! SCHIAVONE He might just be trying to lure Leon in here Jess. VENTURA Well he's doing it with the wrong guy if he is. No chance of Leon losing his cool. Left alone in Ring One Leon climbs up to the middle rope and encourages Landon to join him, but The Next Generation is passing the opportunity up. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Realising he's wasting his time, Leon steps over and out onto the apron, rushing into Ring Two. Landon scrambles out towards Ring One, but Leon has caught on to his cat and mouse game by now and ducks right back out towards the other ropes, covering that option. Both men are now faced off on the apron and it seems the cat has caught the mouse. Maddix panickily ducks right, then ducks left, faking an entry into Ring Two, before ducking right again...and getting caught with a clothesline, sending him spiralling over the top and into Ring One with a thud! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA Alright, now we're getting started! Landon sits back up and begs off from Leon as finally both men are in the same ring. And Maddix's escape route is blocked by the small matter of a steel mesh wall, backed up against the cage as he looks for a time-out. No chance. Leon catches him with a boot to the gut and whips La Cucaracha off the other side, catching him on the rebound with a BAAAACKbody drop, Landon clipping the cage roof on the way up and down! With a clutch of the back Maddix comes right back up, still looking for that elusive time-out. His guard is otherwise down though, earning him a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! With a quick 360 of the crowd, Rodez blows the kiss to all... *SMACK!* ...and LANDS the enziguri, flipping Maddix inside out! SCHIAVONE Mama Said Knock You Out! And Leon Rodez might have done just that! Despite being down, dazed and looking up at the lights, the first thing Landon does is lift his arms overhead and call for a time-out. Rodez is determined to make him learn eventually though and hauls him up by the hair. Bruce is furious on the outside, yelling at his 'partner' to fight back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...as Leon fires off a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a third! Landon is left on rubbery legs in the centre of Ring One as Leon points to the cage wall and openly asks, "Shall I?" The pounding on the cage wall from The GPX suggests he should, so Leon grabs Maddix by the hair and runs him in... but Maddix throws up his hands, latching onto the links of the cage, DESPERATELY blocking a face-first meeting with the steel! SCHIAVONE Rodez trying to bring the cage into play, but not if Maddix can help it! With his face inches away from the steel Maddix's arms are shaking as he clings on for all he's worth. Eventually he manages to throw an elbow back and catch Rodez in the abdomen, releasing himself and allowing him to turn the tables and throw Leon in... but Leon blocks as well! VENTURA It's every these two can do to prevent eating that cage! SCHIAVONE Every female fan watching is praying right now at home. VENTURA And probably some guys. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Managing to hold out from a face-grating experience just feet above his team-mates on the outside, Rodez finally shrugs away Maddix's grip... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lashes him with another knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another! Rodez changes it up with a hard right hand next and knocks Landon down, giving him time to retreat to the corner. Up to the top rope he goes, waiting on Landon to turn back around. Turn around he does, but with Megan warning him of what's waiting, prompting him to rush at the corner and The Silky Smooth One perched up high. Thinking quickly, Leon reaches up and grabs the roof of the cage though, pulling himself up, just as Maddix crashes sternum first into the turnbuckles!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Amazing athleticism! VENTURA And he lands back on the ropes too, tremendous! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Sure enough, Leon is back on the top. And as Maddix stumbles back out into the centre of the ring, Rodez soars off the top, managing to avoid clipping the roof as he wipes out La Cucaracha with a Ricky Steamboat esque Crossbody Block!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rodez rolls right through and back to his feet with a grin for everybody in attendance. Not grinning are any of The Wildcards, with Megan nervously pounding the cage, trying to encourage Landon to get his game together. Right now, that's easier said than done though. Clearly winded, Landon crawls away towards Ring Two and that time-out he seems so desperate for. Rodez is quick to deny him yet again though as he grabs a hold of Maddix's boot and drags him back inside Ring One. And as if Landon wasn't winded enough already... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...there's a knifedge chop in his future! SCHIAVONE Leon, laying them in with a little extra sauce for the OAOAST! VENTURA What does that even mean? With his chest reddening, Maddix backs off into a corner and tries to catch a breather. Leon is right in on him though and climbs up to the middle rope, pinning The Next Generation in and raining down the right hands! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" ...wait for it... "TEN!" Hopping off the ropes, Leon wrings out the arm and whips Maddix across the ring and into the opposite corner. Bumping out, the already struggling Landon takes a punch deep in the gut, doubling him over in mid-ring as Leon hits the ropes. Making sure not to hit the cage on the way, back rebounds Leon with a high Million $ Kneelift! One lucky fan at ringside gets a souvenir for the evening; one of La Cucaracha's front teeth. And Landon might be getting his own souvenir of the night soon as well, that being a big-ass scar on his forehead, as Leon grabs him behind the head and directs him towards the wall of the cage! VENTURA What's he waitin' for, do it already! SCHIAVONE Leon, looking to see which side of the crowd wants it more! Eventually The Silky Smooth One decides on the north side, scooping Landon up over his shoulder and preparing to spear him into the steel. However, the hesitation gives Landon some time to come back to his senses and as Leon charges him towards the cage, Landon manages to slither down the back and escape. Leon puts on the brakes just short of the cage wall and wheels around to make good on his mistake... ...and gets thumbed in the eye!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA Costly mistake by Rodez there. He took way too much time and it might just cost his team big-time, because he had everything going his way until now! Maddix has finally got some offence in, but his team are far from impressed. Bruce even goes so far as to yell at his team-mate to "Stop fightin' like a dang girl!", as he slouches over the ring ropes and gets his breath back. Dropping to one knee, Maddix then starts to fiddle with his right boot whilst Rodez is blindly feeling his way around the ring, being directed by The GPX. To be fair, Leon is only lacking vision in one eye. Which means he can see Landon coming towards him, but also means he can't react in time... ...AS MADDIX THROWS A HANDFUL OF POWDER INTO THE EYES!! VENTURA WOAH! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Faceful of powder and now Leon is even more incapacitated! And not surprisingly, Team SWF taking advantage of there being No Disqualifications to get ahead tonight! VENTURA It's war Schiavone, sometimes you've gotta fight dirty to win! As the cloud of powder hangs over the ring, Leon is left blindly swinging out at thin air. Maddix keeps his distance as the fists fly, waiting to pick his spot (through the smoke), which he does with a boot to the gut. Maddix then goes to work with clubbing forearm after clubbing forearm, making up for the early dominance of his opponent as he now beats him down to his knees. Shoving Rodez into the corner nearest the door, and his team-mates, Maddix then places a foot across the throat and starts to choke the life out of The Silky Smooth One, with Zack and The GPX just inches away but unable to help due to the cage wall in their way. Which becomes even more frustrating, as Maddix spits through the cage at the trio, sending Scotty Static into a rage as he leaps onto the cage and has to be pulled down by his partners! VENTURA That's really classy, huh? SCHIAVONE I don't think class is in Landon Maddix's vocabulary. The GPX can't get involved yet, but I've got a feeling Landon might regret that in due course. Pulling Leon out of the corner, Landon avoids another wild swing and goes to the gut with a knee. Snapmare puts Leon on his BUTT, leaving him wide open... *SMACK!* ...for a PUNTING kick, right to the spine! *SMACK!* ...and a second Dragon kick! Taking a step back to admire his handiwork, the red boot mark on Leon's back, Landon carefully measures him for what looks like a third kick. But at the least moment, Maddix fakes out on the kick and tumbles overhead, tweaking the neck with a Perfect Neck Snap! SCHIAVONE In the midst of all the spectacle and the feud between Bruce and Zack, we've got some smart wrestling here. Maddix realises that to win War Games, you need to earn a submission. And the Land Of Nod, his patented submission hold, works on the neck. VENTURA Picking a bodypart and working it over, as fundamental as wrestling gets. Rolling to his feet, Maddix spits and swats some imaginary gum. VENTURA And the cockiness to boot. Not what you're looking for in War Games, but who am I to complain about that? Maddix follows up with some boots, aiming for the neck now, a definate bullseye on Rodez's body. With a quick paintbrush across the face, Maddix then pulls The Silky Smooth One to his feet, locking him into a cravat! The Wildcards don't seem completely impressed again as Bruce can be seen asking Megan what her man is doing, putting on a headlock when there's a cage around waiting to be used. But Landon clearly knows what he's doing. Or, at least, what he wants to do. Because as he wrenches on the neck Rodez starts to rally! Zack, Static and Jax are all shaking the cage wall, routing behind Rodez as he comes up from his knees to his feet and buries in an elbow. Another. And a third, escaping the modified headlock. Maddix pops him with a quick forearm to keep control though, before grabbing top and tail, running Rodez in by the hair and the tights... *CLANG!* ...FACE-FIRST INTO THE CAGE WALL!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE The steel is tested for the first time tonight and sure enough, steel wins out against flesh. Frustrated at having to stand and watch helplessly, Zack turns away as The Wildcards are finally happy with their adopted brethren. Until he flashes a thumbs up their way, prompting Bruce to yell at him from across the way to stay on Rodez. Maddix does just that, putting the boots to the back of Leon's neck. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The chants seem to spur on Maddix more than anything as he speeds up with the stomps. Once Rodez's signs of fight have disappeared, Maddix then pulls him up and takes aim... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop, returning the favour from earlier! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...make it two! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and that's the trio! Rodez is backed up towards Ring Two now as Maddix lands another forearm, dropping him back against the ropes. With a desperation kick out Leon manages to keep Landon at bay for a moment, but in the next moment Maddix has lunged forward and grabbed a hold of the face, starting to rip and tear away to fend Leon off! SCHIAVONE Make no mistake, Maddix does have a meanstreak. Leon manages to push Maddix away, but he comes right back with a couple of sharp kicks to the ribs. Grabbing hold of the arm, Landon pulls Leon off the ropes and glances behind him. Seeing a cage wall. And smiling. Maddix quickly lands a forearm before setting Rodez up and whipping him across the ring, full pelt towards the cage. But although the back of Leon's head does strike the cage, he manages to absorb it, just enough to come stromin back and MOW Landon down with a clothesline!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Wow, what a clothesline! VENTURA A sudden explosion of energy and both men are down, centre of the ring! The perfect time, it seems, to get the formality of the coin toss over and done with. Getting the singla from the back, Charles Robinson produces a coin from his pocket and getting a nervous Zack's attention, he asks him to call. Bruce is left to complain across the other ring as to why he isn't getting to call, but they fall on deaf ears. Meanwhile, Zack gives a call of 'heads', as the coin bounces onto the arena floor... ...and as Team OAOAST peer in... ...their heads sink, as it comes up TAILS! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the coin toss are THE WILDCARDS... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER ...giving them the next entrant into this match. SCHIAVONE And that is bad news for Leon Rodez, because once these initial five minutes are up, he's going to be in a two on one disadvantage! VENTURA He ain't got much time either, we're about three and a half, four minutes gone already. He needs to try and take out Maddix before that clock runs down. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Both men are coming back to their feet now and the tension on Zack and The GPX's faces have risen as they encourage Leon on. It seems Landon has heard the announcement though and he decides to go back to Plan A, crawling off towards Ring Two and looking to stall for time. Rodez can't afford to be lured towards that ring though and he manages to catch Landon just in time, dragging him back into Ring One and spinning him around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...into a chop! But despite the beat-red chest, Landon fires back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and retaliates with a chop of his own! :20 SCHIAVONE Twenty seconds left until The Wildcards get a second man! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop by Leon! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop by Landon! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop by Leon! Sensing the tides aren't flowing his way, Landon looks to cut the chop exchange short as he goes to the eyes... ...but straight out of a Three Stooges sketch, Leon blocks with the edge of his hand, and POKES LANDON IN THE EYES! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" :10 :09 As the counter ticks down in the corner of the screen, Leon takes a quick step back and winds up for a clothesline... :08 ...but despite the stinging eyes, Landon sees it coming and drops low... :07 ...clipping out Rodez's right knee! "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Oh no! He got him in the knee! :06 VENTURA Just like AngleSlam, Rodez's injury comes back to haunt him! :05 :04 :03 As Rodez catches himself just short of planting face-first into the mat he hobbles off into a corner, trying to adjust the brace on the knee. Maddix follows right in though and like a shark that smells blood he zones in on the knee with some quick, hard stomps. On the outside Leon's team-mates despair at the turn in fortunes... :02 ...as outside Ring Two, Todd Cortez has stripped off the bulletproof vest and gets a last peptalk from Bruce Blank. :01 *BZZT!* As the buzzer goes Patrick unbolts the door and the fired up Urban Legend climbs into the fray! BUFFER Now entering War Games, representing The Wildcards... TODD CORTEZ!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Quick as a flash Cortez flies through Ring Two and towards Ring One. But as soon as he steps to the apron he's called to a stop by Maddix, who has hung the right knee of Leon Rodez up across the middle rope and just finished putting the boots to it. He wastes no time in dishing out the orders to his just entered partner as he yells at him to "go for the knee". And Cortez does just that, running down the aprons and burying his foot into the trapped knee! SCHIAVONE Things couldn't be much worse for Leon Rodez right now. He's been in the action for five minutes already, his bad knee is being picked apart and he's now in a two on one situation. And those two just happen to be former SWF Tag Team Champions Landon Maddix and a 100% fresh Todd Cortez, formerly known as Martial Law. VENTURA Ah, but there is some good news Tony. SCHIAVONE Which is? VENTURA Well, rumour in the back is, he just saved a bundle on his car insurance by switching to Geico! HAHA! Maddix is happy to kick back and let Cortez take over. He even goes so far as he to lounge up onto the top rope, while Cortez puts the boots to the knee in the corner, Rodez unable to defend himself. SCHIAVONE Jesse please, this is bad news for the OAOAST right now! Leon's got to hold out for two minutes, two on one! VENTURA In all seriousness, there is some hope. These two aren't best buddies, so maybe they'll bust up here. It doesn't seem that way for now as Cortez now drags Leon out of the corner and snapmares him over, grabbing the right leg and stomping into the back of the knee. Keeping the leg pinned up, Todd then calls on Landon. Out of his makeshift hammock comes La Cucaracha, onto the middle rope as he soars off with a kneedrop, driven into the hamstring and leaving Leon writhing in agony! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" All the crowd support in the world isn't going to help now as Cortez and Landon circle their prey like vultures, taking their turns kicking out at the helpless Rodez. SCHIAVONE Team SWF getting the luck of the coin-toss here Jess and it's looking bleak all of a sudden. VENTURA Well, I fully expect Bruce to come in number four, so he's fresh as possible for Zack. So these four have got a good line-up going. You've got Landon and Todd, former partners, with Todd's partner Bloodshed probably in next, followed up by Bloodshed's partner Blank. Obviously they've thought about the line-up long and hard to get the best out of their team. The GPX are stewing on the floor, but Zack is trying to keep his cool, willing Leon to find the strength to fight back. He doesn't seem to be finding it though, as Cortez retreats into Ring Two. With a beaming smile, Landon then encourages the rest of Team OAOAST to wave goodbye to Leon, as he's thrown unceremoniously out of Ring One, collected in Ring Two by Cortez. And now Bruce and Bloodshed can get a closer look as Cortez scoops his opponent up, slamming him in the centre of the ring. Landon watches on from the outside of the ring, as Cortez lands a stinging kick to the back of the knee, then takes a jump past Rodez and wrenches the leg in a direction it really shouldn't go! SCHIAVONE They're just picking apart that knee now. Maybe it wasn't smart to send Leon, the man on the team with the lingering injury, into War Games first up. Entering the ring, Landon snatches the right leg while Cortez takes the left, his partner taking the lead as he starts counting down from five. As he reaches one, it leads to a very painful experience for Rodez as Landon and Todd make a wish, splitting Leon's nether regions in directions they really shouldn't go! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MADDIX C'MON PORNSTAR, WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW, HUH? Landon puts on the badmouth and it gets him a jab in the gut. He quickly shrugs it off though and boots Leon upside the head to quell his fire. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Landon now pulls Leon back up and stabs out at the knee with a kick. Around hops Leon on the good leg, swinging out at Landon in hope of suckering him with a punch. Maddix keeps ducking and diving out of reach though, buying time while Cortez sneaks up behind and lands a kick to the knee. Down to the other knee drops Leon, only to be pulled back up by Maddix who slides behind and drops him with a quick kneebreaker! Landon then hands him off to Cortez, who pulls The Silky Smooth One over with a Dragon Screw legwhip! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE This has to be the longest two minutes of Zack's life. VENTURA And The GPX. Like Bruce, I seriously doubt Zack'll be in before position four, when he can be fresh for their inevitable battle. With a wry smile, Maddix calls for a high-five from his partner. Cortez just looks at him like he's crazy but Maddix is so insistant that he eventually obliges, tagging hands and causing Landon to smile like a kid with the run of a candy store. SCHIAVONE There's definately some underlying tension there. Cortez takes a sideways glance at Maddix and shakes his head, as he blindly reaches behind him for a clutch of Rodez. However in turning his back he opens himself up to The Silky Smooth One, Rodez shoving him in the back... *CLUNK!* ...causing Cortez and Maddix to clock heads! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Maddix goes tumbling out through the ropes and out onto the aprons, while Cortez stumbles backwards. He goes right into Leon, who hopping on one foot can't risk doing too much. A right hand finds the mark. Another. Three, four, five... and a 'flying' forearm, knocking Cortez down but also giving himself a jarring landing. He hops back up to his feet though and fires up the crowd, getting a second wind! SCHIAVONE Leon, with the weight of the OAOAST behind him, is gallantly fighting the odds! VENTURA Now, what he ought to do is take a breather. Find a corner, fend whoever comes close off and wait for his team-mate's entry into the cage. That would be the mark of a lesser man though. Lesser, Leon is not. Instead he takes it to Cortez, *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with the much used knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and now, even more much used! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and yet MORE much used! The chops avoid the problem of using the knee of course, but the irish whip that follows doesn't, Leon having to gut through the pain as he whips Todd into the turnbuckles. Unable to run in, Rodez instead waits on Cortez to stumble out. A back elbow stuns him, setting up what seems to be Feedback THIS, the Sliced Bread #2. Cortez puts the blocks on it though and grabs a waistlock, lifting Rodez up for a German Suplex... ...but Leon's feet hit Landon on the apron... ...and that buys him time to kick back and HIT the Feedback THIS!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Away rolls Cortez to recouperate, Bruce suddenly not so confident of how things are developing. Rodez hobbles back up and looks to go after Maddix. As he approaches him by the ropes though, in through the ropes sneaks Landon's leg, jabbing Rodez in the knee! SCHIAVONE Again to the knee! VENTURA That knee's gonna cause Rodez problems all through War Games, guaranteed. As Rodez falls to tend to the knee, Maddix checks to see if he's been busted open. Luckily for Megan he hasn't been though, so he's safe to carry on with the match, grabbing Rodez in a front facelock and setting him up for a suplex out onto the combined aprons! :10 :09 :08 As the timer winds down to entrant 4 and some assistance, Rodez tries desperately just to hang on and block. The arms and legs are wrapped around the ropes and no matter how hard Maddix tries, he can't lift Leon over! :07 :06 :05 SCHIAVONE We're going to even the odds in five seconds! :04 :03 Maddix is getting frustrated now and in his anxiety to get the suplex off, he climbs up to the middle rope, looking for some extra height and leverage... :02 :01 ...but even that isn't helping, as the door opens, the crowd rise... *BZZT!* ...and like a MAN POSSESSED, Scotty Static dives into the fray!! BUFFER Now entering War Games, representing The OAOAST... SCOTTY STATIC!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Through Ring One, Static bypasses Landon for the moment as he vaults into Ring Two. Cortez is just reaching his feet as Static enters the ring and sure enough, Static hones right in on The Urban Legend. A spear tackles Todd to the ground, Static getting into the spirit of War Games as he mounts Cortez and goes WILD with a flurry of hard right hands!! Jax is going equally as wild on the outside cheering his partner on, as Static now lets up and rushes across the ring, giving the Ring Two door a kick and pointing a finger down at Bruce Blank! VENTURA Don't worry about him, worry about the guys in the cage! Static does just that now, as he spots Landon STILL trying to get the suplex off. Seeing The GPXer rushing towards him, Maddix panics and drops hold of Rodez. But before he can do anything offensive, he gets caught with a dropkick from Static, sending Maddix flying back off the middle rope... ...into the opposite ring's ropes... ...WHERE HE GETS TIED UP, ANDRE STYLE!! MADDIX NOOOOOOO! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE And now it's two on one in Team OAOAST's favour! Maddix is tied up and going nowhere! With Maddix out, Static goes after Cortez... *CLANG!* ...AND SENDS HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE CAGE!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Maddix can only look on despairingly now, as Static takes Cortez again, and like a rubber ball... *CLANG!* ...HE BOUNCES HIM INTO THE STEEL AGAIN!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Down goes Cortez, Maddix trying and failing to free himself from the ropes as Rodez watches on in amusement. MADDIX (voice cracking) IS THAT THE BEST YOU'VE GOT!?!?! Apparantly not, as Static and Rodez exchange a look, a nod, before exiting out onto the apron collectively! Maddix freaks out and starts to re-think opening his big mouth. Too late, naturally. But still. Wild kicks from Landon do no good and neither does begging for some mercy, as Static grabs a handful of Landon's blond locks and balls up the fist. But no! Rodez stops Static and encourages him to "leave it to me", as he balls up his elbow(?) and rains down a Bionic Elbow across the top of Maddix's unprotected dome! Another Bionic Elbow! Another! "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" SCHIAVONE Leon Rodez gettin' funky like a spunky monkey, with a little Dusty Rhodes persuasion, if you wiiiiill! Not all that receptive to his partner's attack, Static unhooks the ropes and drags Landon out. With a pat on Leon's back he then tells him to "watch this", as he grabs a handful of Landon's hair and runs on down the aprons. Landon is dragged along for the ride and sent on another ride, as Static throws him... ...Maddix soaring OVER the ringposts... *CLANG!* ...AND RIGHT INTO THE CAGE!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Scotty Static has knocked the intensity up a notch here! Man alive! Head rebounding off the solid steel bars connecting the cage between the two ringposts, Maddix collapsing back down the aprons. And as he sits back up, a loud scream pierces through the arena. The scream coming from Megan Skye, as she sees blood beginning to pool up right across Maddix's hairline!! SCHIAVONE And we have the first casualty of War Games!! Blood has been drawn and it's that of Landon Maddix!! VENTURA The first, but I doubt it'll be the last Schiavone! Static shows no let-up and pulls Maddix back up again, hurling him up over the top into Ring One. Meanwhile Leon steps back into Ring Two and for the first time in the match, the action has spilled into both rings at once, putting the intrepid directors into overdrive. Static targets the cut on Landon's head with right hands, while Leon goes after Cortez in the opposite ring. "O - A - O - A - S - T!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!" Team OAOAST are in the ascendancy now, with Scotty Static dominant in Ring One. Ruthlessly he digs his fingers into Landon's cut before adding in some TEETH, BITING Landon to the horror of Megan Skye on the floor! Static eventually comes up for air and spits a wad of The Next Generation's blood and flesh into the rabid crowd, as Maddix's forehead is now stained red, the blood flowing freely! VENTURA We've got a gusher! Meanwhile, Rodez has got Cortez. But despite the collisions with the cage he took Cortez has something left, cutting Leon off and lifting him up over the shoulder, dropping forward with the Sitout Spinebuster! Still holding onto the legs, Cortez then climbs up and steps through, lacing up the legs and applying The Sharpshooter on Rodez!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" So immersed in his battle is he, Static doesn't even notice the problem. And as he deals with Maddix, Leon is left to deal with the Sharpshooter alone! And with no rope breaks and no partner to save him... *TAPTAPTAPTAP!* ...RODEZ STARS TAPPING OUT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA Rodez is tapping! And look at Bruce, he loves it! Hearing the sound of tapping, Cortez pretty instinctively lets go of The Sharpshooter. Bruce gives his partner the big thumbs up, but is soon telling Cortez to get back on Static, prompting Cortez to leave Ring Two and go after The GPXer. VENTURA Rodez tapped out right there Tony and Zack's face has sunk. SCHIAVONE But Rodez tapping doesn't matter until all eight men are in. VENTURA Not true! Sure, it doesn't earn a submission yet, but it means that Leon Rodez is there for the taking. Team OAOAST are virtually a three man team now. Not only do they have to concentrate on themselves, they have to worry about guarding Rodez at all times, because if that submission goes on that knee he's gonna be tapping! SCHIAVONE Not neccessarily Jess. Leon might have tapped only because he knew it wouldn't lose him the match and to get Cortez to release the hold. VENTURA Maybe, but the pain on his face right now says different. Rodez rolls across the canvas, tucking himself under the bottom rope and against the wall of the cage, as he howls in pain about his injured knee. With Leon incapacitated, Cortez takes a final glare at him to make sure he's not crying wolf, before heading back into Ring One to double up on Scotty Static. SCHIAVONE Leon is hurting, and right now Team OAOAST also run the danger of having another man succumbing to too much damage. The Wildcards and Maddix have the odds in their favor, but with Leon down and only Scotty carrying the load, they also have to worry about the inevitable, upcoming entrance of the third man! Static fires a bloody Landon into the corner, and charges in, but eats boot on the charge, driving him away. He stumbles back and spins around, but ducks a Cortez lariat at the last second...the momentum of which carries in the corner, causing him to crush his own partner! Todd falls back as Landon slumps to a seated position, and Scotty follows up with a back suplex on the Urban Legend! He hops up to his feet and charges the corner immediately, driving his knee into Landon's bloody face, staining his own ring gear with the plasma of the egotistical outsider. Taking a page out of Landon's book, Scotty backs up as he stands over him, then hocks a loogie right into Landon's face, causing Megan to screech in disgust! If she thought that was bad, however, she probably hoped it stopped there, because next thing you know, Scotty does the same to her through the wall of the cage, causing a HUGE freak out at ringside! VENTURA That's one thing about those Hooligans, Tony...they don't give a damn about man, woman, or child. If you step to them, your ass is considered on their hit list! With Landon down, it's one streetfighter against another, as Todd starts getting up, only to be met with a HARD slap across the left side of his face...and a second to the right, before Static ducks and scoops Todd up by the waist, dropping him crotch first on the ring ropes! Cortez winces in pain, and then Scotty shoves him off, down into the crevice between the two rings, getting Todd out of his way so that he can focus on Maddix once again! SCHIAVONE Static is plotting his attacks accordingly, and without exerting too much effort. He's doing enough to get one man out of the way so that he can switch off in quick succession, not giving his opponents time to recover from the prior assault! Static moves towards the corner, and just as he does the countdown begins for the next entrant in the contest. :10 :09 :08 VENTURA We're going to be coming up on what SHOULD be a three on two, but is going to be more like a three on one advantage, Tony. Scotty Static might be having an easy time of it right now, but Leon has barely moved in the last few moments, and we're literally seconds away from one of the two more sadistic members of The Wildcards squad entering the ring! Landon comes up out of the corner, wiping the spit, sweat, and blood from his brow so that he can see clearly...see Static about to blast him with a European uppercut, that is! Landon falls back into the corner just as the buzzer sounds, and Static turns towards the door, waiting for what comes next. BUFFER Now entering War Games, representing The Wildcards...BLLLLLLOODSHEDDDDD! Despite his ability to inflict and absorb pain, the typically silent assassin of The Wildcards is not respected in the least, and the packed house lets him know that. Not that he cares, as he keeps his stoic demeanor in check as he rounds the cage and walks up the steps, into the ring...AND GETS TACKLED INTO THE CORNER BY SCOTTY STATIC! SCHIAVONE He's not wasting any time, Jess! The crowd erupts as Static jumps Bloodshed, pinning him in the corner and drilling him with shoulderblocks to drive the wind out of him immediately as he enters! Bloodshed clubs Static over the back, trying to beat him into a break, but it's not until Cortez and Maddix come over and pry Scotty back, holding him by the arms. Bloodshed recovers, and reaches down into the side of his boot, pullling out a familiar object that causes the fans to gasp in horror. VENTURA He's got that spike of his, and it looks like he's gonna start practicing for Thanksgiving on Scotty Static's forehead! Bloodshed inches forward, as Scotty is held at bay by the former Martial Law...but Static kips up, planting both of his feet into Bloodshed's chest to drive him back! He uses the momentum to float over, landing on his feet and snapping both Todd and Landon to the canvas with a double Russian legsweep, drawing a huge pop from the crowd! SCHIAVONE WHATTAMOVE~! Scotty Static is carrying the load for his team right now, and... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" SCHIAVONE NO! God, no! He just drove that spike into his head! The celebration is short lived, as the stunned Bloodshed recovers just as Scotty gets to his feet, and jabs his sharp metal weapon into the head of Static, dropping him to the canvas! Bloodshed drops to his knees and cradles Scotty's head, taking the spike and carving a gash into the Hooligan's forehead, drawing an agonizing yell from the outspoken Static! SCHIAVONE We've still got about a minute until Johnny Jax can legally enter the cage! Rodez is on the far side of the second ring, still licking his wounds, and now Scotty Static is at the mercy of these three men, at one point collectively creating the stable known as Martial Law! VENTURA And at that time, Bloodshed was a completely different man. His shift in attitude has done no favors for people like the GPX, Leon Rodez, or Zack Malibu. The man is homicidal, suicidal... SCHIAVONE I'm gonna stop you right there, lest we get sued for copyright infringment! VENTURA Fair enough. But you get the picture! After digging the spike into his head, Bloodshed pulls Scotty up, dragging him to the wall of the cage that both Jax and Zack are peering through. With a sick grin, Bloodshed looks down at his foes, then takes Scotty's face, already a crimson mask, and starts raking it from side to side along the wall of the cage! SCHIAVONE He's sick! He's taunting them with their own partner's condition! He LOVES what he's doing! VENTURA He considers himself a Picasso, or a Van Gogh...the only thing is that he paints with blood and our rings are his canvas! Jax pounds the wall of the cage, desperately waiting to be let into the cage. Maddix and Cortez are up, with Todd directing traffic, telling Landon to keep back, while he awaits Jax's entry. :10 :09 :08 :07 :06 :05 :04 :03 :02 :01 BZZZT! SCHIAVONE And the odds are about to be evened once again! The door swings open, and the powerhouse of The Hooligans charges into the cage, immediately trading blows with Todd Cortez! Jax, fueled with fire and rage, takes Todd by the head and simply biels him into the wall of the cage, sending the Hispanic superstar bouncing off the mesh and back onto the canvas! He turns to Landon Maddix, who puts his hands up in surrender and starts to back off, ducking out of Ring One and into Ring Two, pleading for mercy to Johnny Jax. As he backs away, the crowd comes ALIVE, and so does Leon Rodez, as although he's hobbled, he's now up on his feet...AND LANDON MADDIX BACKS RIGHT INTO HIM! VENTURA Uh oh. Maddix, knowing the predicament he's in right now, takes a deep gulp before Rodez shoves him forward, right into a HARD spinebuster that leaves an impression of the smarmy superstar in the ringmat! Back in Ring One, Bloodshed tries to use the spike once again, but Static clutches his wrist, desperately pushing the spike away as it comes dangerously close to him...and a well placed kick doubles Bloodshed over, since he's got the same weak spot as all males do...and now Static takes possession of the spike! Scotty wastes no time in seeking redemption for what's happened to him in this contest so far, as he starts digging the spike into the flesh of the sadistic superstar, drawing blood! SCHIAVONE We knew it wouldn't be pretty. We knew it was going to be violent, and not for the squeamish. We have seen a tremendous amount of blood spilt thus far, and we aren't even close to being done with this contest! Bloodshed tries to shy away, grunting under his breath as Scotty backs him into a corner, opening him up with that spike. As he continues to dig into him, Blank moves over to where Cortez is shaking off the cobwebs, feeling at the the blood dripping from his forehead. Through the mesh wall, Blank slips Cortez something, ordering him to get up...and when Todd does get up he creeps behind Static, taking a chain and wrapping it around his neck! VENTURA Now there's a chain in play, and Static is being choked out! Scotty kicks his legs, and manages to twist his body so that he can have an easier time at fighting free...and manages to shove Cortez towards the ropes...or rather, into a YAKUZA KICK~! from Johnny Jax, who has bolted into Ring One to aid his partner! Bloodshed bounds out of the corner, shrieking as he charges Jax, but Johnny sidesteps him and cradles him under his arm, dropping him to the mat with a HUGE side slam, knocking the wind out of Bloodshed! With those two down, Static takes the length of chain and wraps a bit of it around his fist, then lets the rest dangle, and he uses it as a makeshift whip, wailing on both Cortez and Bloodshed! Back in Ring Two, Maddix has struggled back to his feet, but Leon takes him by the head and leads him to the corner, smashing his head into the top turnbuckle repeatedly before he gets pulled by...and then hurled shoulder first between the middle and top turnbuckle, smashing his right shoulder into the ringpost! Landon slumps down in the corner, totally spent, as Rodez pulls him out and then sets him up on the top rope. He reaches up and pulls Landon down into a Tree of Woe, then delivers a few stomps and kicks to his chin for good measure. Too tired to fight out of it, Landon dangles in the Tree of Woe as Leon steps into Ring One, taking the chain from Static and wrapping it around Cortez's neck! A lariat from Jax dumps Bloodshed over the ropes and into the small space between rings, and now Jax and Static look at each other, noticing that Landon is all by his lonesome with no one to play with! SCHIAVONE All that's left are the captains of each team, with Bruce Blank entering next to give his team a brief advantage before Zack Malibu comes in and all hell breaks loose! VENTURA Hell hasn't broken loose yet? Have you been paying attention!? Landon hangs upside down, while the GPX stand across the ring. Jax takes Static by the arm, but Scotty swings around and sends his partner towards the corner with a ton of momentum, and Jax slides across the canvas, cracking Landon in the face with a baseball slide! He rolls out of the way just as Scotty charges the corner, and the high flyer leaps into the air, seemingly pausing in mid-leap before gravity brings him back down to earth with a hesitation dropkick to the chin of Landon Maddix! SCHIAVONE The GPX have annihilated Landon Maddix, and the crowd is loving it! Jax and Static get up, but before they can pick their next course of action, Bloodshed springboards from out of the crevice between rings, and nails the both of them with a springboard clothesline! Without his spike, he resorts to biting, as he takes Jax by the head and starts using his teeth to tear at his flesh, staying with him even as Jax gets to his feet! They stumble back to a corner, and when Scotty gets up he comes over and swings Bloodshed around, his fist cocked for a punch...but when he does Bloodshed blasts him with BLOODMIST~!, blinding Static with his own plasma in a sickening scene! VENTURA That's just WRONG. Scotty, disgusted and blinded, falls back, dropping to one knee, as Bloodshed turns back to Jax and continues to make him suffer. Back in Ring One, Cortez rams Leon back into one of the corners, breaking the chain-choke, then twists out of the hold and yanks on the chain to pull Leon towards him, grabbing him by the throat and setting up for URBAN ASSAULT...NO! Leon rakes the face, blinding Cortez, and then takes the chain from him and starts wailing away, whipping first at the legs, then across the chest of Cortez! The street thug tucks his arms, trying to cover up, but Leon keeps whipping away before wrapping the chain around his fist...and then cold-cocking Cortez with a hard right hand! SCHIAVONE They are hitting each other with everything and anything! They are busting each other open, they are wearing each other down, they are doing whatever they feel is necessary to bring the opposition to their knees! We knew it wouldn't be pretty! We didn't come here expecting a Flair/Steamboat classic, but tonight, we are seeing violence PERSONIFIED by these men! As Cortez drops, the countdown clock comes up, marking the last time The Wildcards need to worry about it. For at the end of these ten seconds, the last man on their team...the man who evolved from what Zack Malibu thought was a solution for his problems into his most hated rival to date, and the most controversial superstar in OAOAST history, will enter the ring. :10 :09 :08 :07 :06 :05 :04 :03 :02 :01 *BZZZT!* VENTURA You know what that means, Tony. SCHIAVONE All four of the Wildcards, the SWFers, whatever you'd like to refer to them as, are legal entrants in the War Games, because here comes the leader of the pack! Strolling around from his side of the ring, sporting his trademark gleeful snicker, is Bruce Blank. Bruce rounds the corner and stops for a moment, smiling at Zack and pointing his barbed wire baseball bat at him, then tilts his hat at him. The door swings open and Bruce steps up, entering the ring with his bat in hand. Rodez, seeing his best friends worst enemy staring at him, tosses Cortez aside and charges Blank, swinging his chain wrapped fist...but Blank knocks his arm away with the barbed wire bat! SCHIAVONE He just cracked him across the forearm with that damned bat of his! VENTURA And it's perfectly OK for him to do so! Leon reels back, just enough for Bruce to take the BUTT of his trusty equalizer and crack Leon in the head, knocking him on his back! With Leon down, Bruce taunts him, poking him with the bat like you'd poke a dead birds body with a stick...and Bruce looks out to Zack and smirks at him before bringing the bat over his head...

COMEDY MOTY: Run for the Gold II (Living Angleously) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- We leave Indianapolis and go all the way across the US of A to Los Angeles, Californ-i-a. Our image is that of Krista Isadora Duncan's front lawn, where crisp patterns of finely manicured greenery play out across a solid ground of pebbles, sand, and brick. The house in all it's splendor. Situated at the edge of estate behind a white ribbon and underneath a sign marked “FINISH” is the coveted 24/7 title. Sitting next to the finish line in two lawn chairs are our announcers for this unusual contest.... Terry Taylor! And Krista Isadora Duncan! TAYLOR Whew! It's Run For The Gold time! This match probably would've been on sooner, but well, Krista and I had a bit of a uh, well, a nooner. KRISTA LIES! You had a “nooner”. I had an inadvertent front row seat and that's the last time I allow you into my bedroom. Fixing the loose knob on my underwear drawer my ass. TAYLOR Well! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to land of the rich and famous, Beverly Hills, California! We are at the glamorous estate of Hollywood superstar, Krista Isadora Duncan, for the second annual Run for the Gold! This year it's the 24/7 title that is on the line! Krista, you look ravishing tonight. KRISTA I always look ravishing. When I was girl and I won Miss Teen California, they said I looked like a young Ava Gardner. TAYLOR I never knew you won Miss Teen California. KRISTA Oh sure, a few of the other girls met with unfortunate and bloody endings just days before the contest began, and sure the DA may have wanted to link the bloody ax the cops found in my room to the murders, but a jury of my peers found the weapon to be purely coincidental and acquitted me on all charges. TAYLOR (going pale) That story was a joke, right? KRISTA Maybe so, maybe no. The point is I've always been ravishing. Even as a fetus I was gorgeous. My sonogram could've been a Playboy Centerfold. A lot of people say I look like Charlize Theron. Wrong. Krista never imitates. Charlize stole her appearance from me. But I begrudge her nothing. If you're going to copy someone, make it the most gorgeous person in America. Me. I'm beautiful, I could get a priest to ditch his vow of celibacy with a wink of my eye. I could make an archbishop buy a lap dance. Krista pulls out a compact mirror and begins to admire herself. When she gets like this it's pretty much impossible to get her to focus on anything but herself so Terry takes over. TAYLOR Well, then! Fans, the rules of a Run For The Gold are easy to understand. Each wrestler starts off in the back yard, and will race to the rear entrance of Krista's mansion. Once inside the house, they have to make their way out into the front yard, and head to the finish line. The first person to cross the finish line is the 24/7 champion! Let's go to the backyard for the start of the contest! KRISTA (speaking to her reflection in baby talk) Aren't you just the cutest little thing? Yes you are! Yes you are! Mommy, loves you so much. Yes she does. Yes she does! We're given a birds eye view of Krista's spacious rear yard, showing us how much ground the wrestlers have to cover before they reach the house. Dutifully attending to Krista's golf course worthy lawn are a fleet of gardeners. Somehow these men remain oblivious to the fact that a wrestling match is about to occur in their work space, despite the presence of camera crews, referees, and half naked muscular men. Regardless of the lawn care workers questionable state of mind, the show must go on! Thus we throw it over to little Maya Olivia Myrick (Myrick being Krista's real last name), for the opening introductions. MAYA The following contest is a run for the gold for the two hundred forty seven title! Am I really on TV? Can I say hi to my friend Susan? Hi Susan, I'm on TV! KRISTA That's my girl! She's wonderful, isn't she, Terry? TERRY She's adorable, Krista, you should be proud. MAYA The first wrestler is from Venice Beach, California! Hey, I'm from California! We're from the same state! This man weighs two hundred twenty five pounds, and his name is Biff Atlas! My Aunt Clara lives in Venice Beach, do you know my Aunt Clara? Biff, dressed in a ludicrous straw hula skirt, and matching vine ankle bracelets, does an even more ludicrous hula dance, to no one's delight. MAYA The second wrestler is from Fort Lauderdale, Florida! He's two hundred and sixty seven pounds! His name is Flex Phillips. Hi, Flex, it's nice to meet you! Wearing his usual aqua colored wrestling trunks, Flex strikes a pose that's intended on being menacing, but couldn't intimidate a small child. And it doesn't, because Maya laughs at him. MAYA The third wrestler is my third favorite wrestler in the whole wide world, I have a poster of him hanging on my wall. He's also from California, like me, but he lives in Laguna Beach which is a couple miles down the road in Orange County. I told mommy I wanna go, but she says she doesn't want to drive on highway five traffic. Anyway he weighs one hundred and ninety pounds. He is Melvin Nerdly! Do you think we can hang out after your race is over, Melvin? Maybe we can go to the mall with my friend Susan! Melvin, sporting his usual white jeans with paint splotches, blows a kiss to Maya who goes absolutely gaga over the gesture. MAYA The fourth wrestler is also my third favorite wrestler, and he's from Laguna Beach also, but he wasn't on the TV show Laguna Beach, which I really like because I think Stephen is hot. But I think Marvin is hot also. Ooops, I just said his name. Sorry! Do you wanna go to the mall with me and Melvin, Marvin? You can be Susan's date and we can double date and go see a movie. But mommy says I'm not allowed to go out on a date until I'm forty five. Wearing the same outfit as his brother, Marvin Nerdly bows to his adoring fan, while Flex scoffs in the background. MAYA The next guy is from Grand Rapids which is in Michigan. And he's Jade's brother, and I like Jade, she's really funny and nice, and she sends me postcards from different places, and she's just awesome. Her brother's weight is two hundred and twenty eight pounds, and his name is the douche! KRISTA Oh lord, I see that she's been eavesdropping on my phone conversations again. Leon, outfitted in white tennis shoes and black workout pants, just holds his head down and sighs. Phillips sizes Leon up with a murderous glare, no doubt branding the babyface as the man who stands the greatest chance of challenging him for the 24/7 title. MAYA Finally it's my Auntie Alix! She's the champ! She's from LA just like me. Hi, Auntie Alix! Alix, in a grey t-shirt that reads I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND and a denim mini skirt, waves to little Maya. KRISTA Great job, Maya! Well done, sweetie! MAYA Auntie Alix, are you ready? Melvin, are you ready? Marvin, are you ready? Douche, are you ready? Other two guys, are you ready? Then on your mark....get set.....GO! BANG!!!! A nearby referee fires a pistol, commencing this unorthodox race. The warriors zoom towards the house, knowing that the object of their desires lies beyond that complex and in the front yard. Leon seems to move the fastest, and manages to create quite a bit of distance between himself and the pack. A sly smile slips onto his face as it's starting to look like regaining the 24/7 title might be a little easier then he thought. Unfortunately he's unable to leave his slow poke enemies in the dust because a gardener on a John Deere riding mower recklessly zip in front of him, nearly slicing his feet off! A quick moving Rodez narrowly escapes the catastrophic disaster. Although he's not one to get angry, Leon can certainly think of a few choice words to hurl at the bothersome fellow. KRISTA Pedro, you fool! He's not Kuta Kente! This isn't Roots! Don't chop his foot off! Get the weed wacker, and go for the throat, damn it! Patience all but depleted, Leon prepares to yell at the intrusive twit to move out of the way. But what winds up leaving his lips is a loud “Ooomph” as Flex Phillips floors him with a lariat to the back! Flex's ally, Biff, stops his own pursuit of the title long enough to see if his partner needs any assistance in obliterating the grounded Rodez. But Flex assures him that he has everything under his sinister control, and Biff trots away to attend to his own creepy business. TAYLOR Flex had his eye on Leon this whole time. Even before the race started he was sizing him up. I think he knows that Leon is his main competition. While Rodez writhes in anguish on the lush greenery, Flex roughly yanks the bewildered gardener off the mower in order to commandeer it for his own purposes. He ignores the grousing of the worker, and hops onto the vehicle's yellow seat while eying Leon with predatory intent. The engine purrs ominously, and it becomes readily apparent that Phillips is planning to use the mower's blades to turn poor Leon into silky smooth hamburger! TAYLOR Kris, he wouldn't! KRISTA Oh, yes he would. Now if there was a celebrity homicide in my backyard, would that increase or decrease my property value? Alix, sharply aware of Flex's aim, bravely darts across the lawn to aid Leon, who's fear seems to have rooted him in his spot. She springs into the air and lands perfectly on Flex's expansive back, taking the steroid charged meathead by surprise. As veins of anger erupt on her forehead, she tangles her arms around his thick neck, choking him out in revenge for trying to kill Leon. The sudden shock of having an extra one hundred and thirty pounds on his back, and a vice grip on his neck, saturates Flex with panic. This panic clouds his thought process and provokes him to slam on the accelerator in an unwise effort to ditch the bubbly redhead. The vehicle angrily careens forward like a bumper car, nearly reducing the workers, who are scarcely able to avoid it's chaotic path, to bits and pieces. The mower zooms past the fallen and frightened workers, and takes itself on a kamikaze trip towards the swimming pool. Leon's alarmed eyes watch in sheer horror as Alix and Flex fail miserably in their final effort to steer the green beast away from the blue lagoon. KRISTA Ah, the pool. A drunk Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers once did a cannonball off the roof of the cabana all the way to the pool. The pool wasn't filled with water at the time. Screams of horror spew from the lips of Alix and Flex as they dive over the edge of the pool, and into the chlorine filled abyss. A pillar of water erupts when the duo and their automobile plunge into the depths of the aquatic void. Their shouting is muffled thanks to the mass of water that invades their lungs. All traces of them, both audio and visual, disappear beneath the shimmering ocean. A bewildered fog seems to settle over Leon's glassy eyes. He looks around, not fully comprehending what just happened to his girlfriend or the man who was seeking to chop him into bits. KRISTA Oh no! Alix! Jesus Christ, Terry! Do you think she's okay?! TAYLOR I don't know, it looked like she kind of managed to dive off at the last second, and go into the pool on her own, unlike Flex Phillips... KRISTA Who the hell is Flex Phillips? Stop making things up and focus, man, focus! My poor Alix! Back on land, Marvin Nerdly is pursuing the crown prince of hair care, Biff Atlas, across the lawn. The Western Canadian quickly gains on the fleeing hair fetishist, his legs a blur of superhuman speed, hurling him after his adversary. Within seconds both wrestlers reach the entrance of the tennis court, where Marv makes sure to note the tennis ball machine resting behind the net. TAYLOR (looking around) Hey, what's that barking sound? KRISTA Oh, my puppy is flirting with my rabbit again. TAYLOR Doesn't he know that's a male rabbit? KRISTA Don't judge my puppy. Tapping hidden reserves of strength and speed, Marvin lunges forward and tackles Atlas. His arms grip tightly onto the bodybuilder and they topple into the entrance of the court, their combined momentum knocking the chain link door off it's hinges! KRISTA Ding ding ding ding dong! TAYLOR What are you doing? KRISTA I always thought that door should have a bell that goes off when you open it. And now it does. Ding ding ding dong! Unfortunately now the door is on the ground, rendering my bell sound effects obsolete. Locked in a mortal death grip, the pair go flying into the court, and nose dive onto the cement surface. The vicious landing violently separates the brawlers, and they roll away from each other before scrambling to their feet. The warriors face off in the center of the court, flaunting demonic fangs and clenched fists, eager to pound each other into submission. Marv feels a sudden pang of vulnerability as he watches his rival pick up a nearby tennis racket. “Fore!” Biff screams, unaware that you say “fore” in golf, not tennis. Regardless of his dimwitted comments, Atlas makes like Venus Williams and sends an overhand smash into Marvin's skull, ripping shockwaves of pain throughout his slender body. KRISTA Ah, the racket! TAYLOR Let me guess, signed by Pete Sampras and given to you as a birthday gift by Debbie Harry of Blondie. KRISTA Actually I found it in a dumpster in San Diego. And a dumpster is where I'll leave your battered and beaten body if you ever sass me like that again. Wu-Tang forever, Terry. Having now discarded the racket, Biff coils his hands around the Laguna Beach native's throat and casually chucks him over the net! Upon landing Marv finds himself rolling down the court, and the rough surface slices through his skin, opening tiny cuts on his arm. However he's able to halt his spiraling retreat and he springs to his feet, where he meets Biff, who's stepping over the net, with a frenzy of forearm smashes. Yet these rapid fire shots do little to damage Atlas, and with one mighty swing of his fist he sends Marvin plumetting to the ground. Now lying in a heap of baby oil, expensive jeans, and high lighted hair, The Marv painfully wonders if he's just been hit by a punch or a runaway train. Runaway train never coming back. Wrong way on a one way track. Seems like I should be getting somewhere. Somehow I'm neither here nor there. TAYLOR I could be wrong, but I have the feeling that NRG could be the next breakout team here in the OAOAST. KRISTA Are you for real? Do they actually pay you to spout these nuggets of utter stupidity? One of 'em just drove a lawn mower into my swimming pool, and the other is wearing a hula skirt that's two sizes too short on the same day he decided to free ball it. TAYLOR It's just a matter of opinion, Kris. KRISTA No, it's a matter of you smoking rocks. Are we going to have our next run for the gold when we visit you in rehab? Lord knows, I'll be headed there soon. Maybe we can be roommates. We can be the rehab version of Laverne and Shirley. (singing) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, schlimiel, schlimazel, hasenpfeffer, incorporated. We're gonna do it! Atlas reaches down, clamps his hand around Nerdly's throat, and drags him upwards. He extends the hunky grappler out, smiling ruefully while Marv's talons slash against the arm that holds him aloft. Suddenly a sharp pain rings around Biff's body, as a mysterious object crashes into his lower back. Atlas groans nosily as his back is struck three more times by the unidentified tools of destruction. The unexpected emergence of the weapons momentarily confuses Atlas. And the second of uncertainty causes his hold on Marv to loosen just enough to permit the Sk8r to worm his way free of the embrace. Marv lands perfectly on his Nike sneakers and shouts, “Dodge this!” right before he unloads on Biff with a superkick. Marv's shoe collides with a dumbfounded Biff full on, lifting him clear off his bare feet, and propelling him backwards. Fortunately the net manages to break Biff's fall, otherwise his tanned skin would've been shredded by the green cement surface. With Atlas out of the way, the camera is able to show us who and what saved Marvin from Biff's chokeslam. Marvin's savior is none other then his twin brother, Melvin, who's manning the tennis ball machine that rocketed yellow balls at Biff. “Thanks, dude!” Marvin hollers. Rather then simply say “no problem”, which would be the brotherly thing to do, Melvin responds by shooting a tennis ball at Marvin, nailing him square in the kneecap. “Owwwww!” A hobbling Marvin bellows, half out of pain, half out of shock. “What the hell do you think you're doing, eh? I'm your brother, you faggot!” “And how can I be sure of that?” Melvin remarks suspiciously, crouching behind his missile launcher like some kind of guerrilla solider. “I see no proof to verify your claim of brotherhood.” “What?! I look exactly like you, dickhead!” “How very convenient! But as long you're going after my 24/7 title, you ain't kin.” Discarding the last of his brotherly love, Melvin aims his ball shooter at a ranting and raving Marvin and cruelly fires away. The first shot impacts gruesomely into Marv's testicles, and his distressed howls crackle through the Californian skies. Showing little remorse, Melvin unleashes another volley, this time blasting his poor brother in the middle of the forehead, knocking the sense out of the twenty year old. Marvin timbers sideways, while his vibrant brown eyes dives into the back of his head. Melvin's blackened soul can generate little sympathy for his wounded sibling, and he simply guffaws at the misfortune's he's caused. TAYLOR Kris, Melvin really wants that 24/7 title. KRISTA He wants your heart. He wants to eat your children. Praise be to Allah! Hell Mel's moment of glory evaporates when he spots a suspicious figure atop the courtside umpire's chair, striking a “Christ in Rio” pose. Unwilling to bear this creature's flamboyant foolishness, Melvin demands that he come down and face him like a man before he (Melvin) decides to get into that West Coast Gangster shit. TAYLOR Who's up there, Kris? KRISTA It could be my tennis coach Lise. She's french! TAYLOR (snickering) I bet you really like servicing her....hehheheh... grass court, if you know what I mean. I bet you..heehhehe..would like to get that French open. Heheheheh! KRISTA Okay, time for you to die. While Krista proceeds to strangle the Rooster for his off color comments, the camera pans out to expose the mysterious intruder, revealing him to be none other then ...... The soul stealing King launches himself off the ten foot chair with a MEATNORMOUS diving clothesline! His forearm slashes through Melvin's finely sculpted chest, driving the Boi to the ground! The overwhelmed Nerdly tumbles backwards, before agilely springing to his feet. Refusing to be defeated by this meddlesome corporate pitchman, Melvin hastily scrambles to his trusty tennis ball machine. But before he can unload a flurry of projectiles at his foe, The BK King leaps into the sky, clears the near five foot machine, and slams an EGGNORMOUS dropkick into Melvin's cute face! Moaning in agony, Hell Mel dives backwards, and wonders what he's done to deserve being humiliated by a fast food mascot that ceased being popular and entertaining four months ago. KRISTA I can't believe I've whored myself out to crass consumerism and blatant attempts to manipulate the viewer's mind with disgusting product placement. I'm so ashamed of myself. I have a headache. TAYLOR Here, Krista. Try these. (Terry puts two Nuprin pills into Krista's hand.) KRISTA Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different. Better. I mean, it's just a shame that my house has been sold out to fat cat marketing gimmicks from Madison Avenue. It's all about bowing to the almighty corporate dollar, and that's just really sad. It's like advertising his taken it's grip on all that we hold sacred, and I don't want any part of it. TAYLOR Krista, I'm kind of hungry. KRISTA (handing Terry a hamburger) Here, have this Junior Cheeseburger Deluxe from Wendys. Do what tastes right. Oh man, I'm stealing comedy routines from Wayne's World. The end of my gainful employment is near. Back on the court, The King is doing a celebratory cabbage patch dance above his vanquished adversary. However his busting of the proverbial move is cut short when a recovered Biff Atlas drives a forearm into the back his regal robe. The King reacts not with hurt or shock, but with incredulity, and he demands to know the identity of the fool who has interrupted his getting jiggy with it. He turns around for the answer, only to have his vision flooded with Biff's incoming fist! But the King responds with supernatural speed and swiftly blocks Biff's punch with his forearm. Atlas recoils, his own forearm vibrating from the tremendous impact. The King points a menacing finger at him, informing Atlas that his mortal soul will pay the price for his grave misdeeds. A now sobbing Biff passionately implores the royal pitchman to spare his meager life. But his pathetic whining falls on the King's deaf ears. And the bearded mascot lays down his own brand of charbroiled justice by sticking a CHEESENORMOUS fist into Biff's gut. The whopper (lol!) of a boot doubles Biffy over and leaves him weeping like a baby deprived of his pacifier. Once again Biff puts forward a desperate plea for mercy, offering a variety of sexual favors in exchange for a guarantee of safety. But The King answers these calls for leniency with a harsh roundhouse kick to the knee. Biff cries out in despair, and reaches down to attend to his knee. But this position makes him a sitting duck and The King is quick to exploit Biff's vulnerability, surging forward and pasting him with a big boot! A floored Atlas immediately curls into a fetal position, and jams his thumb into his mouth while he prays for his mommy to come rescue him from this perpetually grinning psychopath. KRISTA (no longer paying attention to the stupidity in her backyard) Hmmmm. I hope no one goes into the living room, I think there are mutant rats living in there now! I swear one of them asked me if I knew the lyrics to Subterranean Homesick Blues. The King has nary a second to celebrate his crushing of the OAOAST's worst wrestler due to the fact that a recovered Marvin Nerdly is swinging a tennis racket at his crown! The King successfully manages to duck just in time, leaving the racket to whoosh harmlessly above him. Unfortunately for The King the momentum of his avoidance carries him around 180 degrees into the waiting arms of Melvin Nerdly. Before The King can attempt to mount a suitable defense, Melvin pulverizes him with a Mel's Shocker! The King's body crunches hard against the pavement, eighty-sixing the c-list celeb's brief foray into the world of pro wrestling. TAYLOR The king has been dethroned. Thankful for the assistance and ready to let bygones be bygones, Marvin extends his hand to Mel and says, “Brothers?” Without hesitation, Melvin embraces Marv's hand and responds with a rousing proclamation of “Brothers!” Unfortunately the heart warming display is short lived, thanks to Melvin pulling a confused Marvin towards him, grabbing onto his waist and destroying him with the Mel's Shocker! Marvin responds with tortured groans that simply elicit a round of shameful giggles from Melvin. “Sorry, bro. But, that's my belt out front.” He remarks, dusting off his jeans and surveying the considerable carnage. Melvin leaves the broken husks of Biff, Marvin, and The King in his wake, as he scampers towards the mansion, assuming a gargantuan lead over the rest of the field. TAYLOR My, Krista, you have a very lovely garden. So many beautiful flowers and shrubbery. KRISTA Yes, but I keep my most precious plants inside. Out of the sight of roaming police helicopters.... Meanwhile at poolside, Leon is attending to his drenched girlfriend, who's shivering like a soaking wet puppy. Although he feels some sort of chivalrous urge to stay and assure her that everything will be okay, he can't help but fret over the fact that those wrestlers without girlfriends to weigh them down are closing in on his 24/7 title. With hints of impatience in his voice, he desperately tries to convince Ali that it would be wise for them to restart their aborted chase for the championship. However Alix, cocooned in a Mickey Mouse towel, seems positively spooked by the whole lawn mower incident and is steadfast in her refusal to budge. Unfortunately the decision to leave the poolside area is made for her, as former 24/7 champion Mackenzie DeCenzo comes from out of no where, to spear her out of Leon's arm and knock her into the pool! SPLASH! The women hit the crystal clear water with all the grace of a boulder dropped from a seventeen story building. The fresher, more spirited Mackenzie, pops up first, and promptly dedicates herself to the despicable task of trying to drown Alix. Spewing vulgarities like an utter madwoman, Mackie firmly presses her hand onto Alix's head, and submerges her entire body underneath the sparkling ocean. KRISTA If I had known we were going to see a T&A catfight in the pool, I would filled it with creamed corn and charged the neighborhood kids admission. TAYLOR Creamed corn? Not mud? KRISTA Do you have any idea how hard and how time consuming it is to clean mud stains off the surface of an Olympic sized swimming pool? And where am I supposed to get that much mud? Huh? TERRY Where would you get that much creamed corn? KRISTA Oh I have my ways... While Taylor ponders Krista's cryptic comments, Leon encounters a rather troubling decision. Either he can do the honorable thing and assist Alix but hurt his chances of reclaiming the 24/7 title, or he can leave Alix to fend for herself and selfishly resume his quest for the gold. Choices, choices, choices. Choices that he'll never get a chance to make, due to the fact that Flex Phillips smashes a sculpture of the Hindu elephant god Ganesh over his head! The OAOAST's number one babyface sinks to the tile flooring, and bellows in anguish, unable to cope with the massive amount of pain that's rushing through his skull. “Hello, Mister Rodez.” Flex begins, crushing the remnants of the statue with his boot. “I believe you and I have some unfinished business.” TAYLOR Krista, your statue! KRISTA No big deal, I stole it from Carmen Electra anyway. She stole Dave Navarro out from under my nose, I steal her mythical deity. Not an equal trade off, but at least the statue doesn't bear the shame of having been in a band with Perry Farrell. With shards of the statue resting in his finely gelled hair, Leon slowly rises, preparing to trade blows with the nutrition guru. However, Flex, now holding a wooden chair, has no intentions of participating in a simple slugfest. No, he wants to eliminate Le-Ro as quickly and as painfully as possible. Thus he throws his directly towards Leon's face. Fortunately, Rodez ducks beneath the swipe and avoids near decapitation. His breath comes in heavy and ragged spurts, as he watches the projectile sink into the shallow end of the pool. A second chair is thrown by Flex, and meets the same unproductive results as the first, except this time the chair collides with a tall oriental vase inside the cabana, exploding the antique item into fragments. TAYLOR Krista, your chairs! KRISTA Stolen from the lady across the street who seems morally opposed to letting her golden retriever do it's “business” any where that's not my front lawn. Most people wake up to a steaming pot of coffee. I wake up to a steaming piles of fly infested dog shit. Speaking of dog shit, it's Terry Taylor, everyone! Suddenly waves of fists dance across Phillips' face, thanks to Grand Rapids' favorite son. Flex swats at the incoming punches, trying to steer them clear with his meaty hands, but he's unsuccessful in this endeavor. Then his face is abruptly yanked forward and impacted perfectly with Leon's forearm! Phillip's thick neck snaps back and forth, over and over again, as he's mercilessly pounded by the handsome superstar. Ever the charismatic showman, Leon decides to get a little flashy, and winds up for a windmill punch. But the gestural nature of that attack affords Flex enough time to mount a counterattack. His two arms coil around Rodez' waist, ready to strike with a deadly belly to belly suplex. But Leon prevents the move from materializing by repeatedly whipping his head into Flex's face, drawing obscene amounts of blood from the brawler's pierced nostrils. Quite the pig headed one, a crimson masked Flex, refuses to capitulate on the belly to belly attempt and tries the hold one more time. But Leon's unending parade of heabutts makes the move roundly impossible, forcing Phillips to move onto Plan B. What's Plan B, Patty? Patty, will tell you what Plan B is, if you'd just sit down and be patient, you ass licking whores. Plan B consists of Flex using Leon's body as a battering ram, charging forward, and slamming the man into a pillar on the side of the cabana! The whole structure vibrates upon impact, providing a steady bass line to Leon's tortured screams. TAYLOR Oh! A solid attack by Phillips. KRISTA As solid as the white man's stranglehold on the senate. Despite his race, it's fairly obvious that Flex Phillips is a dupe of the white man's conspiracy to suppress the masses on behalf of the multinational fascist dictatorship. TAYLOR Agreed one hundred percent. Power to the people, my snow bunny sister. KRISTA You? You're nothing but the steel toe of the boot of the capitalist Nazi regime! Leon grimaces in profound pain, but it appears the worst is yet to come for the ex X-division champion. Flex latches onto his throat, and heaves him a good eight feet into the air. A screaming Leon clears the hut's railing, and suffers a brutal landing face first onto the cabana's dark wooden floor. Le-Ro is momentarily dazed by the jarring impact, and for a troubling moment he has extreme difficulty in remembering just who he is, what he's doing here, and why a six foot seven monster is threatening to knock him into Pacific Ocean. “Are you okay, Lee-Lee?” A genuinely concerned Alix shouts in the distance, ignoring the fact that Mackie is still trying to drown her to death. “Oh, I'm just peachy keen, darling!” Leon replies, pouring on the sarcasm. Surveying the scene, Flex Phillips smirks as the splashing and spluttering behind him continues. This is his chance. Leaving Leon behind to continue to collect his thought, Flex jogs off into the distance as he heads towards Krista's house. The house itself, naturally, seeing as he's already in her backyard. TAYLOR So it's Hell Mel and Flex Phillips soaring into early leads, with The Marv and Biff still out on the tennis court recovering, Leon hurting on the cabana and Alix trying to fight off Mackenzie in the pool. KRISTA At least someone's paying attention. TAYLOR Hey, it's my job. KRISTA Yeah but yours pays far less than mine, let's keep that in mind. Don't be getting too big for your britches, bitches, just because you've got an attention span to speak of. We now cut away from two women thrasing around in a pool and to Hell Mel, for some inane reason. Now in the dining room, Melvin seems confused, probably wondering what wrong turn he took to end up in the middle of a well-furnished jungle. Mel gets his bearings quickly though, probably wishing he had a map to find his way around this ridiculously large dwelling. Shuffling around the antique dining room table Mel gets to the door and prepares to explore some more of the less than humble abode, before five words halt his progress. "Hey, pissflaps, behind ya!" Melvin stops in confusion, wondering who's behind him and why they're using such a childish insult. The answers to those trying questions are Flex Phillips and because he's Flex Phillips. His distraction has worked well enough however, as Flex dares Melvin on and the Sk8ter Boi obliges him, sliding across the table like Daisy Duke more or may not have done (before my time) and coming at Flex with forearms. TAYLOR I'm impressed that Flex caught up to Mel so quick, it looked like Melvin was away and in the clear for a moment. KRISTA You haven't seen my state of the art, top of the range, rip-off merchant priced security system, have you? I'm impressed that Mel was smart enough to work out how to get through so quickly. It's like getting into the vault of Lloyd's of London sneaking into my house. Many a drunken night I've spent kicking my door in a futile attempt to prise it open. Like a crazed man, Mel slams his forearm across the dome of Flex Phillips, rocking him backwards, up against the sink. Still Mel is throwing those bones, seemingly unstoppable...until Flex reaches back and cocks his elbow, snapping one of the taps and causing a jet of ice cold water to shoot from the faucet. Mel is caught in the eye by the makeshift water feature and recoils, allowing Flex an opportunity to shoot forward with a firm knee to the gut. Luckily for Mel, Krista's dining room isn't well stocked, so there aren't any sharp, mutilating weapons for Flex to utilise. But Flex has his hands to use as weapons and he nails Mel with a hard right hand. Mel stumbles backwards and Flex quickly backtracks, opening up the door leading to the backyard. Grabbing Mel by the hair and seat of his pants and with the door wide open, Flex makes like Uncle Phil and hurls Mel right out the door!! "And STAY OUT!" cries Flex authoratively, little knowing that as soon as Mel comes to a plummeting fall on the patio, Leon Rodez is waiting as he charges through the door and clotheslines Phillips down! "Honey, I'm HO-OME!" cheers Leon as he steps over Flex's motionless body. KRISTA Gee, that was original. I knew I should have booby trapped that door to abruptly shut the moment this douche stepping through it. I'll never learn. Sigh! TAYLOR Heh, 'booby'. Declining the opportunity to advance through the house, Leon instead sets about bringing Flex to his feet. The mighty nutrition guru shoves Leon away and sends him up against the beech wood table, but Leon stops himself and as Flex runs in, Leon pushes up onto the balls of his hands and locks on a headscissors. Flex tries to fight it, but Leon makes Flex chow down on his thights (steady now) before swinging around and sending Phillips sprawling across the tiled floor with a hurricanrana! KRISTA So, anyway, what colour carpet do you think I should have in the living room once it gets all torn up and stuff? I'm thinking black, to cover the stains Maya and her friends cause and also to match my heart. TAYLOR I'm not really much of an interior designer, sorry. KRISTA You're not really much of a human being, but that hasn't stopped you from existing, has it? Pulling himself up, Leon favours his hip slightly but realises he has a belt to win. Unfortunately, footsteps from outside the back door halt him and fearing the worst, Leon turns around...relieved to see a besheveled Alix Maria Spezia in the doorway. "Honey, I'm HO-O..." "What happened to Mackenzie?" "Who?" "Nevermind. So, let's go find that belt, huh?" smiles Leon, not altogether too convincingly and probably plotting on a way to lose Alix before reaching the belt. But all the same, Alix and Leon join hands and walk happily off out of the dining room, leaving Flex to lick his wounds. KRISTA NO! DON'T TRUST HIM ALIX, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU, REPEATEDLY AND ANGRILY! TAYLOR She can't hear you, Krista. KRISTA I know, but it's not her fault. She gets distracted very easily. TAYLOR No, I mean...oh, nevermind. Leaving the kitchen, Leon and Alix emerge in a hallway, but suddenly The Sliky Smooth One brings them to a stop. "Oh man, I need a whizz." groans Leon. "Must be all that water and your erect nipples." "I've been told I have that effect on people." Alix giggles in reply. "So, where's the bathroom at?" Alix points off to her right, where luckily there happens to be a downstairs bathroom. Breathing a sigh of relief, Leon heads in that direction...curiously, bringing Alix with him. I guess they're one of the those couples who do everything together, huh? Anyway, Leon and Alix abandon the hunt for the 24/7 Title briefly and walk down the long hallway in search of the first floor bathroom. Lucky that Alix knows her way around Krista's house well, otherwise Leon could be in bladder trouble. As it is, he reaches the bathroom safely and opens the door to reveal a typically lavish room. The taps and other appliances, apart from being crystal clean are also quite clearly expensive. A built in home entertainment system adorns one wall, just incase anyone's in it for the long haul. And of course, the main focal point, a large jacuzzi. Usually, however, it isn't filled with barbecue sauce. Rodez and Spezia stop, glance at each other in disbelief, then look back at Jivin' JR and three scantily clad ladies, all bathing within JR's spicy juice. "Oh good God." "RUN FOR THE GOLD! RUN FOR THE GOLD! Leon Rodez, Alix Maria Spezia! Wanna join the party? You wanna get covered in my sauce? BITCHES BE DIPPIN' BAH GAWD! RUN FOR THE GOLD! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY, RUN FOR THE GOLD! It's hawt in here, bah gawd!" "Oh, good God." J.R's bitches laugh, as the barbecue sauce begins to bubble. "Did you turn the bubbles on, Jimmy?" "Nope." "Oh, good GOD." KRISTA I couldn't agree more. It's gonna take me forever to get those stains out of my beloved jacuzzi. Backing slowly away, Leon apparantly not longer feels the need to urinate as he leads Alix to the relative normality of the hallway. Leon wisely closes the door after him and after a quick shudder, he looks to erase that hideous vision from his memory. And he just about manages to clear his mind in time to see a walking wounded, limping Biff Atlas pass the hallway in search of the front door! Panicking, Leon jogs after Biff, Alix following on as thankfully we're back to the match at hand. TAYLOR You know, I always wondered what happened to Jivin' JR. KRISTA So YOU'RE the one! Figures. You fringe characters need to stick together I guess. Biff has little to no idea that he's being followed and as he makes his way through the maze of corridors and sub-corridors, the hapless haircare expert is already humming happily to himself. However, his lack of attention means he subsequently takes a wrong turning and strangely ends up in Krista's living room. Biff seems confused and appalled in one fair swoop, also a keen expert in hygiene. Picking up a copy of GQ Magazine from July 2003, Biff rests on what is presumably a sofa, moving an empty pizza box aside and sitting himself down for a brief rest. However, as soon as he sits down, he becomes a sitting target for Leon Rodez. Or rather, Alix Maria Spezia, Leon positioning himself with his back to Biff and launching Alix airborne for a bodysplash on Biff! KRISTA Oh, I'm so ashamed right now. I'm not a slob, really. God, I hope Entertainment Today aren't watching, not that they would. Before Maya came along, this room was my pride and joy. It was clean. It was neat. There were no creatures that I had to log onto the internet to identify crawling around the refuse. Did I ever tell you I hate Ned Blanchard? TAYLOR About four times on the plane ride over, twice before we came on air. KRISTA If something's not worth saying seven times, it's not worth saying at all. By the way Terry, you suck you suck you suck you suck you suck you suck you suck. TAYLOR Charming. Rolling around the filth, Alix and Biff scrap in what vaguely resembles a catfight. Leon is ready to step in and help his girl, but suddenly Flex Phillips has entered the room and wipes out Leon with a Northern Lariat! Flex flexs...only to get wiped out with a similarly unexpected strike, Marvin Nerdly sprinting into the room and dropkicking Flex in the spine, sending him sprawling across the sofa. If Flex wanted a mouthful of discarded pizza cheese and spilt Cherry 7UP, he's in luck. Otherwise, too bad. "Alright bitches, let's RAWK!" The Marv is now in the ascendancy, quite literally as he scales the back of the sofa. Alix, Biff, Flex and Leon all collect themselves and pull each other to their feet, scrapping away meekly as Marv climbs in front of them. The sofa is in danger of tipping...so it's lucky that Hell Mel has decided to make this his time for a grandious entrance, diving on the trash covered sofa to hold it in place and allow Marvin to soar off, wiping out the other four combatants in the 'match' with a soaring crossbody! The fivesome end up in the heap of discarded toys and other remnants that cover Krista's carpet, leaving Hell Mel the only one standing. Marv is quickly getting to his feet however, so Mel clears a space and hops up onto the sofa. Stooping low, Mel jumps up and looks to gain a springboard off the sofa's seat. A tactic which worked much better when he was a 7 year old weakling. A a 20 year old stud, however, he only ends up causing a worrying noise as his foot crashes through the sofa and breaks the springs beneath him. Mel's leg is trapped in the sofa now and all the fidgeting in the world isn't going to free him from it's evil velour claws. KRISTA (annotating) New...sofa. Alright, that's awesome! Now, somebody break the TV, I could do with an expensive upgrade! I'm thinking 36 inches. And if you even THINK of making a joke about penis size Terry Taylor, I swear I'll get you thrown out of here. Melvin continues to struggle to free himself as The Marv emerges from the mess, clutching a copy of Burnout 360 in his hand and bouncing the plastic case off of his brother's head. A disgruntled 'OW!' is all he gets as reward however, Marvin charges. Unfortunately for him though, Mel ducks his head and manages to backdrop Marv over, causing him to be bent spine-first over the back of the sofa and then sprawl face-first into the finely decorated wall behind! TAYLOR Oh, MAN! That could be both of the Boiz out of the running after that! KRISTA Running? For what? Oh shit, yeah, this is a match. I almost forgot, what with nobody going after the belt and everyone preferring to instead wreck shit up in my living room to draw this debacle out. As Marv slumps up against the wall, his face mushed against the tasteful wallpaper, the duos of NRG and LeLix (cute name, huh?) begin to get back up. Alix doesn't last long as Flex almost decapitates her with a clothesline, while Biff swings out with a clothesline of his own on Leon, which misses and allows The Silky Smooth One to jab Biff with a Standing Ass Punch, causing Biff to stumble forward, wiping out a speaker system which topples on top of him for good measure! "This shit is bananas!" Leon then screams, retrieving a copy of one Gwen Stefani's debut solo album and skimming it like a frisbee towards Flex Phillips' head. Flex adeptly ducks however, causing the flimsy CD case to shatter into a family portait hung on the wall behind him, an 'Isadora Duncan' family portait that has become a makeshift dartboard where Ned Blanchard's sketched image stands. Flex stays stooped as he charges forward, looking to tackle Rodez backwards towards the backyard and the windows in it's path, but luckily Rodez manages to sidestep Phillips. Skidding to a halt before he goes hurtling through the glass, Flex thanks his lucky stars and the big man upstairs (although, ironically, there hasn't been a big man upstairs in this particular house for some time) and turns around in search of Rodez. Rodez is waiting on him though and he stabs Flex in the head with an Emmy statuette, ripping the flesh on Flex's forehead open in the process. KRISTA No, not my Emmy! TAYLOR Since when did you win an Emmy? KRISTA When I put in the highest bid for it on e-Bay, Sherlock! Scratch off the part of the nameplate that says "Ted Danson" and it's as good as mine. Who are you to doubt me? As Flex collapses with his hands pressed to his stinging forehead, Hell Mel has suddenly freed his leg from the sofa and celebrates his newfound freedom by scuttling on out of the living room, in search of 24/7 gold. Rodez spots Mel's getaway and tosses the Emmy haphazardly aside before chasing after Mel, the other four combatants remaining in various states of consciousness in the living room. Mel is clearly in the lead, running through the corridors with Leon hot on his heels. Both men's running begins to slow though, as Melvin is clearly lost. TAYLOR Mel and Leon, getting closer to the gold...or, at least, I think they are. Are they? KRISTA How should I know? TAYLOR Well it is your house. KRISTA But I haven't been paying attention, doofus. Keep up. "Do you even know where you're going!?!" shouts Rodez off into the distance, as Mel turns another corner, confronted by a home cinema. And by home cinema, I'm not talking a medium sized T.V and some fancy surround sound speakers, I'm talking a cinema screen and 20 fold-down cinema seats. "I guess not!" "Me neither. Maybe we should stop running and check the map then, eh?" "Map!?!" Mel screeches to a halt and goes into reverse, jogging backwards to where Leon now stands. "You were given a map?" "Well...not as such." *SMACK!* Down goes Melvin, felled by a Superkick and thwarted by his feeble mind! Looking a little guilty, Leon consoles himself in the fact that Mel would have done the same had the situation been different and prepares to go belt hunting again. Only, as he turns back around, he's confronted by the current Champion, Alix Maria Spezia, again arriving just in time to bring her boyfriend to a halt. "Hey Lee-Lee, I think we're getting closer, we just need to go down this hallway and... *SHRIIIIIIEEEEEEK!* Oh my God, what did you do to MEL!?!" Leon seems confused by Alix's sudden concern for the Sk8ter Boi, not to mention even more guilty than before. "He...he slipped. On...something." "Oh, that's okay then. So, we gonna get that belt or what?" Shrugging, Leon drops to one knees and drops into some imaginary starters blocks, perfectly willing to race his girlfriend to the belt. Alix takes her time in reading what's going on as she is prone to do, but eventually she too drops onto her marks, gets set and... ...Biff Atlas clatters through the OAOAST's most beloved couple with clotheslines! KRISTA That's what happens when you trust a man...another man clotheslines you in the back. Exactly what I've been telling my friends at my Women's Liberation meetings for years. Biff comes to a stop and once he's sure Alix and Leon are down, he stumbles on down the hallway and as Krista's obscenely expensive water fountain feature comes into view, he just KNOWS that he's close. He will get no closer for the moment though, as The Marv has recovered and has hold of Biff's leg, desperately halting his progress. Biff tries to shake Marvin up but fails to do so, so instead he slams his arm across the Boi's back and hauls him to his feet. Winding up, a cocky Biff tries to take Marv's head off...but Marv's head ducks, as well as the rest of his upper body, allowing Marvin to backdrop Biff overhead... *SPLASH!* ...and into the base of the water fountain with a less than comfortable landing! "AH! My coccyx!" weeps Biff. TAYLOR These six contestants are really putting themselves through it here, all in search of the 24/7 Championship. And this match has been every bit as gruelling as Run For The Gold 1 was! KRISTA At least this one didn't have David Hasselhoff involved. For no reason at all, David Hasselhoff walks by eating a baloney sandwich, as Flex Phillips finds his way into the hallway in time to club The Marv from behind, dropping him to his knees. Flex grabs Marv's finely groomed hair and pulls him straight back up though, looking to deal with Marvin once and for all as he aims to torpedo him through one of K.I.D's wall length aquariums! Up on the shoulder however, Marv begins to fight and his frantic elbows eventually help him to squirm from Flex's grip and land safely on his feet. Placing his hands on Flex's shoulders, Marvin then goes up and over with a leapfrog and backs himself up against the glass fish tank. "C'mon Mr Universe, let's see what you've got!" Flex is incensed to be called out by a Sk8ter Boi and charges with a Yakuza Kick, aiming it at Marv's skull. Marv weaves clear of the impact however, Flex's leg unable to do the same... *CRAAAAAASSSSSHHHH!!* ...AND IT SMASHES THROUGH THE GLASS, SENDING WATER AND FISHES FLOODING FORTH FROM WITHIN!! KRISTA Now that's an insurance claim! Somewhere, Aquaman is weeping...for many reasons, the destruction of his artful handiwork tonight probably low on his list of concerns. As the hallway rapidly begins to flood, Marv charges at Flex. Unfortunately his footwear doesn't provide much grip on the slippery surface beneath his feet and he loses his footing, long enough for Flex to regain his bearings and rock Marvin with a headbutt! Marv falls to his knees, soaking his fashionable jeans in the process. That proves the least of his worries however, as Flex reaches down beside his feet and grabs a flailing bright blue and yellow fish from the water, pulling Marv's head back and attempting to cram the creature down The Boi's throat!! TAYLOR UGH! Flex is trying forcefeed Marv that live fish! KRISTA What's the big deal, narrator? It's just like sushi. Unprocessed, scale covered, boney sushi. Marv declines this free meal with a swift backhand to the face of Flex, causing the fish to fall back to the safety of the water that floods the floor. Yes, I didn't kill it. Don't sue, hippy. Flex reels away holding his face as The Marv now has the front door in his sights and knows he's close. So with one last attempt to dry off his pants, Marv sprints forward and tries to dodge past Flex. Nothing doing though, as Flex catches him at the side and drives him down with a soggy STO! "Looks like Jadakiss is gonna get some more royalties, because THE CHAMP IS...HERE!" Flex confidently cries as he rises to his feet, little realising that Alix Maria Spezia has snuck into the lead! KRISTA Yes! C'mon Ali, if you get close enough to the finish line I can release the dogs on the other idiots! I've been teasing them especially! Singing off key...poking them with sticks...showing them a The Best Of The Red Rooster compilation DVD. TAYLOR Ouch. KRISTA I know. Worst twelve minutes of my life. Alix crawls through the front doors and finds herself in the Los Angeles open once more, breathing in the SoCal air gleefully as the finish line is mere feet away. A good few feet, but feet nonetheless. Alix clambers up to her feet and with the final stretch in sight, she turns around to check no-one is tailing her...which is an unwise move, as it allows Flex Phillips to catch up and throw a right hand that drops Alix down to one knee. "Hey, Flex, ahomosayswhat!" "What?" "Heh...he said what." Turning around, Flex suddenly finds himself rocked by a succession of right hands by The New-Age Love Machine, Leon Rodez! Rodez puts Flex on the backfoot and while Alix recovers beside this fight, Rodez stops and attempts another Superkick. Unlike Marv before him however, Flex is able to duck and catch Rodez as he spins around, booting him in the gut and setting up for a Powerbomb! TAYLOR Alix is up and the title is so, so close! KRISTA And Rodez is gonna get crushed too! This is too perfect! Alix now seems to have a clear route to the belt and Krista is up on her feet beside the finish line, beckoning Alix to come towards her. However, Alix's vision isn't locked solely on the belt. Turning away, Alix sprints across the front lawn and leaps over her boyfriend's back, snaring Flex by the head and twisting him around with a hurricanrana!! Flex and Alix clatter onto the firm lawn with a thud and neither is getting up, leaving Leon standing. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out what he's going to do next. Jogging clear, Rodez smiles from ear to ear, as he dives across the finish line, snapping it in two and securing himself the victory! Scrambling up to his feet, Rodez then collects the belt and avoids Krista's icy glare as he jogs off into the distance, already celebrating. TAYLOR Leon did it! Leon grabbed the belt! Somebody ring the bell! Krista quickly grabs up the bell and places it on Taylor's head. *DINGDINGDING!* TAYLOR OUCH! MAYA AndthewinnerisTheDouche! The Douch...erm, Leon Rodez continues to jog off into the distance, not stopping to look back as he reaches the road leading away from the house, jumping into a handily placed cab and speeding away and out of sight. Back at the house, Biff Atlas and The Sk8ter Boiz can only watch on despairingly as Rodez is now long gone and also, the new 24/7 Champion. Also watching on is Alix Maria Spezia, hanging her head at the scathing look Krista is giving her. TAYLOR Man, what an ending. It looked like Alix was seconds away from retaining her title, but she sacrificed herself to save her boyfriend...and in the end, her boyfriend took the belt. KRISTA Sacrifice Shmacrifice! Alix finally came to the realization I've been trying to force on her for weeks. Leon didn't care about her, all he cares about is the belt. You saw it right there. Alix lands on her ass and Leon just runs into the night...well, the evening anyway. TAYLOR You really think Leon is that selfish? KRISTA Don't know, don't care. I'm out of here Terry. You ain't gon' see me for dust. I've got some re-decorating to do, so take yourself off my property and take the rest of this circus with you. Peach out. Krista throws down her microphone and leaves the broadcast table to console Alix, as we swoop back to Indy!

JOEL To present the final Character Award of the evening, please welcome the Owner of the OAOAST and the Chairman of the OAOAST....Anglesault and Cowboy Bill Watts! The most powerful duo in the company walk onto the stage. ANGLESAULT Well, this is it Bill, the final character award of the night. BILL Seven men all thought by their peers to be the best in this buisness. Let's see who is the best of the best. 'SAULT The nominees for Male Wrestler of the Year are: - Alfdogg - Zack Malibu - Drek Stone - Tha Puerto Rican - Peter Knight - Landon Maddix - Bruce Blank Anglesault offers the envelope to Bill, but Bill motions Anglesault to do the honors. 'SAULT Ladies and gentlemen, the Male Wrestler of the Year is.........ALFDOGG!! The Canadian table erupts in cheers as Alf comes to his feet with a wide grin on his face. Reluctantly, the rest of the room rises as well and gives the winner the recognition he deserves. JOEL This is the second year in a row that Alfdogg has won this honor as well as his third award tonight. Alfdogg walks up onto the stage and shakes hands with both 'Sault and Watts, but he quickly pulls away to the microphone. ALFDOGG To recap what I said earlier: America is a land full of egotistical hypocrites who only reward those who do something to their benefit...... WATTS You know, people are already starting to leave. Let's just give out the rest of these Writing awards and then you can go on about whatever you like, ok? Alfdogg reluctantly walks back to his table and adds a flag to his third award. WATTS Now then, let's finish this night up, eh? These final four awards are in recognition of the work done behind the scenes to keep this well-oiled e-machine called the OAOAST running to entertain our fans all over the world. First, here are the nominees for Most Undervalued: - Ed Wood Caulfield - Tony149 - King Cucaracha - Papacita - KingPK BILL And the award goes to......Tony149! The REAL Tony walks onto the stage amid applause to accept this award. TONY I'd like to thank everyone who voted me Most Undervalued for the second year in a row. It means alot to me since I've spent countless hours rebuilding a once nearly extinct tag team division in addition to my duties posting our "pay-per-view" events. For better or worse my work throughout the last 3 years has left me the face of the tag scene, but that's certainly not the case. Without the contributions of Mystery Eskimo, Patty O'Green and most recently KingCucaracha none of what you see today would be possible. The same can be said for SpiderPoet and LaParkaYourCar, the original keepers of the tag team division, if I remember correctly. Many of them have moved on now, but their work is not forgotten. This coming spring, April 7th to be exact, the OAOAST will celebrate its 5th anniversary. Never in my wildest dreams did I except a thread that started off as a joke to become what it is today. Writers have come and gone. We've experienced our fair share of trials and tribulations, but that little place at the bottom known as the OAOAST has managed to survive all these years. Again, thank you for this honor. More applause as he walks back to his table. 'SAULT Next, the award for Best Promo/Segment Writer. The nominees are: - Ed Wood Caulfield - Zack Malibu - King Cucaracha - NYU - Patty O'Green - Tony149 'SAULT And the award goes to.....King Cucaracha! KC steps up to accept the award. KING CUCARACHA Talk about a double-edged sword, now I've got to come up with the best acceptance speech to warrant winning this. First, I can't help but mention Patty O'Green. And a lot of this imaginary e-fed award that STILL doesn't come with a cash prize for some reason should be shared with him, because working with him and his characters for the first third of the year was nothing but fun and inspired me to write probably my most enjoyable segments of the year. I often look fondly back at that time and wonder where most of my magic went afterwards, but maybe that's just me. God knows how many years ago it was now that I started out in roleplay feds, before I stumbled upon the SJL and SWF. Writing here is a great mix of the two and it's always fun to rip lines from great shows like Scrubs and The Simpsons and pretend they're my own work, for your own enjoyment. Just like Grey's Anatomy and Family Guy. HI-YOOOOO!! But, seriously, thanks to those who voted for me, over the (quite) numerous other writers who've also done great work for no real reward (i.e cash prize) this year. This'll be a great excuse to palm off match-writing duty whenever I'm feeling lazy next year, to concentrate on what I'm apparantly good at, segments and promos. Even if most of my characters, promos, segments, whatever, are basically stolen from whatever indy promotion I'm into at the moment, it's good to know they're appreciated nonetheless. Watch more PWG and CHIKARA! Thank you. WATTS Next, the award for Best Match Writer. The nominees are: - Phoenix Fury Legdrop - Zack Malibu - Ed Wood Caulfield - Alfdogg - Tony149 - King Cucaracha BILL And the award goes to.....Zack Malibu!! Zack comes up to accept. Once again, Malibu takes to the stage, this time to accept an award for his efforts "outside" of the squared circle. MALIBU It appears I'm cleaning up tonight, now doesn't it? I guess all that there is to say is thank you, to everyone who finds my efforts entertaining enough to warrant this award. We've got some great writers here, each with their own distinctive style, but to find mine to be the head of the pack...it's encouraging to me, and hopefully your enjoyment continues as my efforts do in 2007. Thanks again! Zack walks off. ANGLESAULT And now for our FINAL award of the night (thank God), here are the nominees for Best Overall Contribution to the Fed: - King Cucaracha - Zack Malibu - Bruce Blank - Ed Wood Caulfield - KingPK - NYU 'SAULT And the award goes to.......once again, King Cucaracha! KC walks up again to accept his second writing award. KING CUCARACHA Boy. This one I wasn't expecting to win. I'm not sure how much of a contribution I've really made per se, especially compared to the likes of Alfdogg who's carried the workload on so many occassions, especially in the middle of the year. The likes of KingPK, who's carried out the one job I can't really do from my humble home here in England, post shows on time. The likes of Papacita, who's provided such great graphics for the shows for so long. Maybe I deserve this award for taking on another 50 characters to my control, even if they're all out on loan half the time. That's probably not an exagerration either. Since Patty bowed out, I've been co-controlling the majority (and now all, I guess) of Tony's tag characters and that's pretty much kept me going most of the year. As I've said to him before, I've kinda become a movename and nickname guy, writing matches and promos is just a side interest. So, this is the perfect chance to thank him for letting me barge in on his territory and commander his characters. Another thanks goes to Zack, for giving me a reason to bring in yet another character (nevermind that I don't have time to write them all, oh no!), Landon Maddix. It's been in the works for a while that I wanted to use Landon here. Plans changed, here and there, but it's given me a new lease on writing because I'm so familiar with the character. Scarily, I've been writing that character for three and a half years now. Thanks too to him for handling most of Landon's contribution, plus O'Hara and Rodez a lot of the time. Bruce too, thanks to him. Uhm... I'm not sure what to say here really, I'm not sure I really deserve this one so much. I'll take it though, sure. I guess I did come up with the idea for tommorrow's show. Where the fed would be without THAT, I don't know. Thank you! KC walks off stage along with Watts and Anglesault. We cut to Tony and Jesse on the floor. TONY That's gonna do it for us this year. Congratulations to all the winners and we will see you tomorrow night for Mainframe Monday!! Jesse, any parting words? JESSE Just that, once again, the pleasure....was all yours. ©2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All Rights Reserved. Fade to black

JOEL In an award given out earlier tonight, the Most Entertaining Segment (non-match) award went to the Love Shack from the 5/13 Syndicated. We go to the stage where once again Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura stand. TONY Well, Jesse, it's time for the final Match of the Year presentation. This time, it's the award for Free TV Match of the Year. JESSE This award combines all the matches from the 52 or so HeldDOWNs that took place this year as well as the Syndicated specials hosted by yours truly. TONY Here are the nominees: - WarGames (10/28 Syndicated) - Philly Street Fight (11/30 HD) - Zack Malibu vs. Faqu (6/8 HD) - Drek/Hoff vs. Black T in a steel cage (5/14 Syndicated) - Torneo Cibernetica (8/10 HD) TONY And the Free TV Match of the Year, which you can see right after this show concludes, is.......WARGAMES!! Malibu and both of the GPX stand up, as the rest of the room (minus The Wildcards and Landon Maddix) rise to their feet, applauding them for their efforts in War Games. The three take to the stage, and Scotty Static opts to be the spokeman first. STATIC Much love to ya for noticing the hell we went through for this. Ya'll recognize it wasn't just for us, but for you as well, and we thank you. JAX We wanna give a shoutout to our man Leon Rodez as well, because he sacrificed a lot going into that match, and we're accepting this award in his honor, hopin' he gets back on his feet ASAP. Leon, we love ya baby! The GPX then clear a way, allowing Malibu up to the podium. MALIBU Like the boys said, this one's a bit of a bittersweet award. Knowing that we put on a hell of a contest, but still living with the fact that in the long run, it didn't really serve it's purpose. It didn't solve anything, and if anything, it just threw more gas on the fire. Still, you know that with the OAOAST you get 110% from us, and we appreciate the recognition for our efforts. This one is for you, Leon. Music plays the group off as Tony and Jesse also clear the stage. JOEL Here to present the award for Rookie of the Year, here is the man that won the 2005 Rookie of the Year, Christian Wright. Wright walks onto the stage amid boos, though the Enterprise table gives him a standing ovation. WRIGHT Salutations on this auspicious night! As was previously stated, I did indeed receive this prestigious award last year and it is my honor to be able to present the Rookie of the Year for the year two thousand and six. May you achieve the grand success that I have found in the new year with my associates, Mr. Moneymaker, Mr. Singleton, Mr. Blanchard, and Miss DeCenzo. The nominations are: - D*LUX - Landon Maddix - Bruce Blank Wright opens the envelope. WRIGHT And I am pleased to present this award to......Mr. Landon Maddix. Maddix rises again and walks to the podium, not exactly as jubilant as he was with his other awards. JOEL This is Landon's fourth award of the night. Along with sharing the PPV and Free TV MOTY awards, he also won Most Entertaining Character earlier. MADDIX Rookie Of The Year? Maddix eyes the award, looking a little underwhelmed. MADDIX Rookie Of The Year. Me. Heh... you know, I've been wrestling for three and a half years. I'm a former two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion, former SWF International Champion, four-time SWF World Tag Team Champion, three-time SWF ICTV Champion, two-time SWF USJL Champion, 2005 SWF Clusterfuck Winner, 2004 Cold Front Classic Winner, former OAOAST 24/7 Champion. And now, I'M the Rookie Of The Year!? It just goes to show how ignorant you OAOAST fans really are when a former two-time World Champion can be voted the Rookie Of The Year! Clearly not grateful for his award, Landon is actually holding it upside down. Unbeknownest to him, but just the right sentiment. MADDIX I guess I should be honoured that I'm SO good, I can win awards I've got no right being nominated for. So, thank you ignorant voters for this meaningless statuette. If the impact I've made this year warrants Rookie Of The Year status, then next year, I'm a shoo-in for Wrestler Of The Year once I've got another World Title on my resumé. And if you think I'll still have this award on my mantlepiece by the time that belt is wrapped tightly around my waist, then I've just got two words for ya. E. Bay. Thank you! Maddix walks back to his table, holding the award like someone holding a bag of dog crap. JOEL Now, to present the award for Best Face and Best Heel, here are the offical voices of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman! The HD theme (whatever the hell it is), plays the duo out onto the stage as they get warm applause from the crowd. COACH HOLLA! COLE Thank you everyone. Coach, quite a year it's been, hasn't it? COACH .......... COLE ........I said 'Quite a year it's been, hasn't it?' COACH ......... COLE Jonathan!? COACH What? That prompter thing is frozen. COLE We work together every week on HeldDOWN and you need a prompter to talk to me? COACH Well then I have the whole day to prepare myself for meaningless small talk with you. And I'm not half in the bag on rum & Coke. COLE You know that we have a show to do tomorrow, right? COACH Believe me, the hangover will help. COLE *Sigh* Here are the nominees for Best Heel: - Bruce Blank - Alfdogg - Tha Puerto Rican - Drek Stone - Landon Maddix COLE And the winner for Best Heel in 2006 is… it’s Blank COACH Doesn’t it say anything on the paper? COLE Yeah....it’s Blank COACH But doesn’t it say anything on the paper? COLE Yes it does: Blank COACH Alright we’re getting nowhere here, you’re making less sense than Gene Okerlund COLE The winner is Blank, Bruce Blank you idiot! Cortez reaches over and nudges Bruce to get his attention, it seems that the Redneck Superman has dozed off a little bit during the boring (I.E. Non-Wildcard related awards) But once he finally realizes that he’s won another award he gets to his feet and staggers towards the podium in a manner not seen since Richard Burton won his last movie award. JOEL This is Blank's fourth award tonight. Along with sharing the award for Feud of the Year and Free TV MOTY, he also won Most Shocking Moment earlier. The big man takes the award and then heads over to the microphone stand. He’s about to say something, then he stops and reads the award. Apparently what he reads doesn’t please him one bit as he puts the award down with a loud clunk and then turns towards the crowd with an evil, angry expression on his face. BRUCE BLANK Best Heel? BEST HEEL? That’s so typical of the OAOAST, so damn typical isn’t it. Bruce stops for a moment and just glares at the award while shaking his head BRUCE BLANK I don’t believe this s*it! The OAOAST has been trying to paint us as the bad guys since day one! They’ve made it very clear that they don’t like us, just because we came from the SWF and we were proud of it! We’ve been discriminated against from DAY ONE! We’ve been up front with everyone the whole time, we tell it like it is and just because you don’t like the plain and simple truth that WE --- ARE --- JUST --- PLAIN --- BETTER!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BRUCE SUCKS!! BRUCE SUCKS!! BRUCE SUCKS!! BRUCE SUCKS!! BRUCE BLANK Just because YOU GUYS can’t accept that …. Because YOU GUYS don’t like to have your illusions of superiority shattered *WE* are the bad guys? Nah, that ain’t right – that ain’t right at all. This award is bullshit! This award belongs to everyone here who’s stepped into the ring and professed their love for the OAOAST! This one belongs to all of you delusional sons of bitches out there who can’t handle the truth! Come on Todd we’re leaving! Bruce staggers down the steps and over to the Wildcard table where he and Todd leave with their guests. They make sure to pick up the three Angle Awards that they won earlier in the night but Bruce has left the “Best Heel” award up on the podium in disgust. Cole and Coach take their positions at the podium once again, looking at the discarded award. Coach suddenly snatches it. COACH I WON!! I WON AN ANGLE AWARD!!! (Sobbing) I wanna thank my mama, my head waxer and Eric Bischoff. SUCK IT, COLE, I WON!!! Coach suddenly runs off the stage and out of the room. COLE ........Yeah. Here are the nominees for Best Face: - Bohemoth - Zack Malibu - Leon Rodez COLE And the award goes to........who else? Zack Malibu!! The room explodes with applause, as Bruce Blank rolls his eyes, half expecting Malibu to have had a lock on his award. Zack makes his way to the stage, and is met with a standing ovation from his peers, as he takes the mic. MALIBU It's sort of flattering, you know, the reputation I've earned amongst you all, and more importantly the fanbase. However, they often say a hero is only as good as the villain he plays off of. So to be called the Best Babyface is giving just as much credit to Bruce Blank as it is to myself. He's over there in the corner, rolling his eyes at me, but Bruce, you and I both know that even though you have brought out a darkside, and seen the worst in me, everyone here, everyone watching, knows that you deserve what you get. Heroes don't necessarily need to be pure, whitebread baby-kissers. A true babyface is someone not afraid to speak his mind, take a stand, and protect that which loves and cares about. For sticking up for this company for the past five years, for standing up for our roster, and on a personal note my family, I humbly accept this award, and hope that as we enter our fifth year of existence, I can carry out those qualities that you find so admirable. Thank you very much! Another standing ovation greets Zack as he walks off, looking over at Bruce with a smirk, though Bruce is more occupied with trying to grab a waiter for his 15th glass of bubbly for the night. JOEL Here to present the award for Best Stable, here are Mean Gene Okerlund and the lovely MARIA~! Gene and Maria walk onto the stage to loud cheers and applause, which Gene foolishly thinks is for him. GENE Well, Maria, you look ravishing tonight. MARIA Thank you, Gene. It's been a great night of....uhh.....awards-giving-out and it's time for us to give one out ourselves! GENE You are excited, aren't you? Why don't you read the nominees? MARIA Ok. The nominees for Stable of the Year are: - The Wildcards - The Hooligans - The Enterprise MARIA Wait a minute....none of those have any horsies in them. And that last one is a spaceship. GENE Heh heh, that's why we love you, Maria. There certainly are many worthy nominees for this award but the winners are… *RIP* Oh great *rolls eyes* the Wildcarders!! Bruce breaks out into a loud, deep laugh as both he and Todd Cortez make their way towards the podium. Cortez heads straight for the award while Bruce veers off to the ring, pushes a waiter to the side and then grabs a bottle of champagne off the bar TODD CORTEZ First of all Bloodshed couldn’t be here tonight as he’s busy polishing all his SWF titles!! Cortez laughs, but he seems to be the only one, not even the Wildcarder associate Landon Maddix finds it funny that Alan "Bloodshed” Clarke holds more SWF titles than he does. TODD CORTEZ We came, we saw… and we destroyed the competition!! I mean seriously who can hold a candle to us? The Upstarts? Where the hell did they go? The Originals? Oh oops weren’t we recruited by one of them to fight their battles? So who’s left? The little Hooligans? Or that group of guys… erm… they’re like USS Voyager or something equally lame MARIA That's what I said! BRUCE BLANK WILDCARDS RULE!! And that seems to be Bruce’s only contribution to the acceptance speech as he pops the champagne open and then pours it over Todd Cortez and then himself in celebration. JOEL We'll be back with the award for Male Wrestler of the Year, and the awards for the Writing Categories (because I want to finish this up before the year is out). Commercial break

JOEL Here to present the award for Most Underrated Wrestler, here is former OAOAST World Champion and three time former OAOAST World Tag Team champion, Tony Brannigan! Simply Ravishing plays over the sound system as Tony makes his way on to the stage, receiving warm applause from most of the tables and crowd (you can guess which table isn't). TONY Thank you. We have many wrestlers in this company that encompass many different styles and attitudes. With so many bodies, it is easy to overlook someone that has the tools to become someone great, say, a CWM, a Leon Rodez, or a Zack Malibu. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Zack smirks at the ovation from the fans and gives a thumbs up, breaking out of his grumpy mood for a minute. TONY That being said, this award is for the Most Underrated Wrestler of the year. There were too many nominees to list here, so let's just see who the winner is. Tony picks up the envelope. TONY The award goes to........Colombian Heat! The crowd cheers! Colombian Heat pumps his fist, and then high fives Spanish Fly (who’s wearing a grey zoot suit with black pinstripes, a gold chain, and his mask of course). Heat then happily jogs up the stage and accepts his award and handshake from Tony. Heat is dressed for the occasion. He’s wearing a tuxedo, his Colombian flag bandana on his head, and a giant clock around his neck. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLOMBIAN HEAT Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww! HA HA! Okay, okay! Yo, big ups to the 3-0-5! Put ’em up! The crowd cheers even though most of them probably have no idea what Heat just said. HEAT A’ight. A’ight. Yo, thank you very much fors giving me dis award for Most Underrated Wrestler of the year. It means alot to me that youse guys would vote fo’ me. I’s like to send a shout out to mah homie, Spanish Fly, for always havin’ mah back. And I’s like to thank mah moms and dad for havin’ me, for being good parents, an’ for always supportin’ me. Dis has been one wild, crazy year, yo, and even though I’s is not in the best of moods, having dis award...well...it kinda makes everrything feel better, you know what I’m sayin’? So, thank y’all, from the bottom of mah heart. Thank you. I’s appreciate it. The crowd cheers some more. Heat nods his head and raises his trophy over his head. HEAT And yo, and yo, dis award iz great, nah mean, but...but I would feel much better if mah girl, Stacey, was here wit me. Stacey, I love you, you’re mah inspiration, mah reason to live, and I’ma come get you real soon! So don’t give up hope, Stacey! Your boy’s coming to get’cha! A’ight, dat’s all I’s got to say. Later, yo. Thank you. Peace. Colombian Heat throws up a "W", and then leaves the stage with his award in his right hand. As Heat walks back to his table, he hears Vitamin X say something to him. Heat stops in his tracks, turns around... AND STARTS PUNCHING VITAMIN X! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The crowd cheers as Heat uses his award as a weapon, hitting VX over the head with it! Luckily for X, he’s using his hands to block the shots. PRL and Cuban Wall try to pull Heat off of Vitamin X, but are unable to. Finally security comes and pull the furious Colombian Heat away from Vitamin X. COLOMBIAN HEAT GIVE ME BACK MAH GIRL! GIVE ME BACK MAH GIRL! GIVE HER BACK TO ME! GET OFF ME! The crowd chants Heat’s name again as he’s dragged out by security. Heat still holds onto his trophy as he is taken away. Spanish Fly has no choice but to watch his best friend get forcibly removed for the 2006 Angle Awards. The Lightning Crew checks on Vitamin X. VITAMIN X That guy is crazy! He’s CRAZY! JESUS! Vitamin X adjusts his tuxedo jacket and bowtie. He then fixes his hair. The X-Man lets out a curse word and then adjusts his tuxedo some more while Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick, and The Lightning Crew look to the exit with dirty looks on their faces. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN He’ll pay for this, X! He’ll pay! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ We’ll get him, X. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. We’ll get him, X. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" As the crowd chants, we cut to Maria once again in with the fans. She is looking over in the direction of the commotion, but someone offscreen gets her attention and she looks back to the camera with a smile. MARIA All right, I'm back for more choices from the fans. She turns to a 17-year old kid wearing a black OAOAST hat and khakis. MARIA So, what was your Most Feel-Good Moment of the year? The kid lewdly looks her over. KID Well, I think I'd have to say looking at you, Maria. You're making me feel pretty good right now. Maria looks at the kid quizzically as he gets high-fives from his friends. MARIA Ooooo....kay. Oh, we're ready for our next award. Please welcome to the stage two of the newest OAOAST stars....James Riggs and Staci! The band plays a version of Dani California as Riggs, wearing a white pinstriped suit and trademark sunglasses and Staci, who looks stunning in a blue dress that is VERY low-cut. The males in the fan section hoot and holler at Staci while the females scream at the sight of Riggs. JAMES Thank you. (Puts his arm around Staci) Yeah, look all you want, but you can't touch. We're here to deliver two awards, because the monkeys in the back know that everyone watching right now has been waiting with bated breath for a look at the OAOAST's new power couple, JaCi. First, here are the nominees for Best Feel-Good Moment of the year: - Alfdogg wins World Title at AMV - Zack Malibu wins HI-YAH World Title at Zero Hour - Peter Knight wins World Title on January 1st - Bohemoth spinebusters Christian Wright (5/12 HD) Riggs hands the envelope to Staci, who scowls at the hoots and catcalls as she opens the envelope. STACI And the Best Feel Good Moment was......James four times last night! James lets out a snobbish laugh as the crowd boos. STACI Really, the winner is......Alfdogg winning at AngleMania! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Alfdogg walks back up with a purpose to the stage and pushes aside Riggs as he grabs the award. JOEL This is Alf..... ALFDOGG (interrupting) Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I find it typically American that I made so many people so happy when I did something that they wanted me to do, but when I align myself with such fine company as Team Canada and The Manitoba Mammoth Deon Black and try to set this country straight on things, I get booed out of every arena! I.... More "get off the stage" music plays as Riggs nudges him away from the podium. RIGGS You are taking up my screen time and we've gotta move the show along. Alf fumes as he walks back to his table and puts another Canadian flag in the hand of his second award. STACI Next, here are the nominees for Most Shocking Moment of the year: - Peter Knight and Axel turn on Zack Malibu - Drek Stone returns - Anglesault returns (8/10 HD) - Bruce Blank's home invasion - Caboose's forced retirement - Upstarts piss on OAOAST banner Riggs takes the envelope and opens it. RIGGS It is no surprise to me or anyone else that the most shocking moment of 2006 is Bruce Blank’s invasion of the Malibu household. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SCHIAVONE (off-screen) Now, now people let’s not throw garbage at the award winners, we’ll lose our rent deposit. Bruce seems totally oblivious to the booing and the occasional prawn cocktail being hurled in his general direction as he walks up to the podium with a can of beer in one hand and a big, condescending grin on his face. Even Riggs and Staci look disgusted as they hand the award over. Bruce admires how Staci fills out her dress and gives her a buzzed wink before he picks up the award. BRUCE BLANK Hey look, book ends! I’d like to say that I’m honored by this award, honored and humbled… but you all know that’d be a big crock of s*it so I won’t lie to you. When I put on my best and cleanest t-shirt to come here tonight I wanted one award – one award above them all. This one right here!! This one here says that I’m doing something right, that I’m the guy that makes EVERYONE in the OAOAST sit up and go “Oh crap it’s Bruce Blank, what’s he going to do next” Bruce grins and then gives the Angle award a kiss BRUCE BLANK You people really need to get out more man! I mean we go visit the Malibus all nice and friendly to congratulate them on their new baby and stuff and that’s “shocking”? (Bruce’s grin widens) I got news for ya’ll – you ain’t seen nothing yet, we’re just hitting our stride in the OAOAST! 2007 will be the year of the Wildcarders… kinda the way 2006 was. So bend over and kiss your asses goodbye! And with that Bruce walks off with his beer and his award. Zack begins to stand, but the GPX calm him down. JOEL Up next, the awards for Free TV Match of the Year, Best Face and Heel and the award for Male Wrestler of the Year. Stay with us. Commercial break

Security seems to have everything under control as we return from break, though now a pair of burly security guards now are seated mere feet away from both Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank. JOEL In an award given out earlier tonight, the Best PPV Event of 2006 was AngleMania V. Back to the stage where Tony and Jesse are back. TONY A deserved award, Jesse. JESSE No doubt about that, Tony. AngleMania V was a great night of action which had three matches nominated for our next award, more than any other pay-per-view event this year. TONY Of course, you are talking about the Pay-Per-View Match of the Year. A note to our fans: tonight, after the Angle Awards presentation, we will air all three Match of the Year winners: the Run for the Gold II which won Comedy MOTY, the match that wins this award, and the Free TV MOTY in their entirety, so stay with us and ring in the new year with the OAOAST. JESSE Here are the nominees for PPV MOTY: - Peter Knight vs. Alfdogg for the OAOAST World Title (AngleMania V) - Two For the Money ladder match (AM V) - Alfdogg vs. Brock Ausstin in a 60-minute Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal Iron Man match (Zero Hour) - Drek Stone vs. Tha Puerto Rican in a Towel Match for the OAOAST World Title (World Without End) - PRL vs. Thunderkid in a Steel Cage (AngleSlam) - Women's Scramble Match (Anglepalooza) - Wildcards vs. Hooligans (GAB) - Drek Stone and Hoff vs. Black T (AM V) - Leon Rodez vs. Landon Maddix (AngleSlam) Jesse opens the envelope. JESSE Well, this a bit of a surprise, but well deserved. The Match of the Year is Leon Rodez vs. Landon Maddix from AngleSlam! Maddix rises from his table with a fist pump and walks to the stage, closely followed by one of the security guards. JOEL This is Maddix's second award tonight. He also won Most Entertaining Character earlier in the night. MADDIX On behalf of Leon Rodez, who isn't here tonight... and because I WON the match and should therefore accept the award anyway, I accept this award for Match Of The Year, with the sounds of thousands and thousands of smart marks chanting 'That was awesome' and other such overused crap still ringing in my ears! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX It'd be wrong of me not thank Leon Rodez here publicly. He gave me one hell of a fight. Of course, in the end, he got pinned by a figure four leglock and came away with nothing but humilation. But, hey, at least he could still walk back then. Landon flashes a thumbs up into the audience in Todd Cortez's direction. To no responce whatsoever. MADDIX I'd also like to take this time to thank someone else responsible for winning this award... myself. After all, without me, it wouldn't have been the greatest match on Pay Per View this year. When I came into the OAOAST, I vowed to humiliate your 'brightest star' at AngleSlam and I did just that. I also vowed to show you all what a truly talented wrestler looks like and I did just that as well, by stealing not only the show, but the entire YEAR! And I've got news for all of you workrate deprived OAOAST fans, because there will be PLENTY more where that came from in 2007. The Saviour Of The OAOAST will continue to save buyrates. To save TV ratings. To save shows from plunging into complete mediocrity. And he will continue to put on Match Of The Year candidate after Match Of The Year candidate, just because he can! Starting tommorrow night, when you fans vote for me one more time, to take the World Title from Drek Stone at the New Year's Spectacular! Thank you! Maddix waves the award in the direction of Zack and Co. before walking back to his table. Zack is livid, but controls himself. JOEL Ladies and gentlemen, here to present the Angle Award for Tag Team of the Year, a renowned tag team specialist who held the World tag team championship with 4 different partners, the longtime enforcer of the 4 Horsemen...ARN ANDERSON. Classic music accompanies Arn to the ring because we couldn't get the rights to the Horsemen theme. Everyone in the room giving Double A his due because he's Arn Anderson. ARN I'm honor to have been asked to present the Angle Award for Tag Team of the Year. Throughout the years I tagged alongside some of the meanest and most gifted men this sport has ever seen. From my days as a member of the Minnesota Wrecking Crew with cousin Ole, tagging with Tully Blanchard, the Enforcers, and the last man I ever held the tag title with Bobby Eaton, I've seen or competed against every great tag team the sport had to offer. That's why I'm proud to have my name associated with the Anderson Cup and the OAOAST, a promotion that has brought back tag team wrestling to the forefront. It's one thing to be a singles competitior, it's a whole other thing to be part of a tag team. You have to think singularly and work collectively. Some have done it, others haven't. These 5 teams have. Let's take a look. JOEL The nominees for Best Tag Team of the Year are... Brief clips and soundbytes putting over each team are aired. D*LUX The Beverly Hills Blonds Stephen Joseph Popick and Tha Puerto Rican Black T The Sooner Bruisers Cut back to Arn on the stage, with all the nominees shown in split-screen. ARN The Angle Award for Best Tag Team of the Year goes to... (opens envelop) ...Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard, the Beverly Hills Blonds! Estatic, the Blonds share a manly hug before shaking hands with all the other Enterprise members. Their music blaring overhead, Simon and Ned walk up to the podium. Blanchard hobbling every other step to make his so-called groin injury seem genuine. Anderson extends his hand to the Blonds and is snubbed. Fortunately for event organizers, Anderson remains calm, cool and collected. SIMON Get your cameras out because the next one or two minutes will be the greatest in your lives. NED As if there were any doubt who the Tag Team of the Year was. So without any further ado, I'd like to get on with it because they're alot of people I'd like to thank, namely myself and Simon. Without us the tag division would still be stuck in 2004 and not real time. SIMON Just like the hottest tag team in the business today would be trapped in the 1980s if we hadn't broken away from a middle aged man clinging onto the glory days when wrestling was recorded live in front of a studio audience of 100 and hooked up with the visionary that is Mackenzie DeCenzo. NED From a visionary to an entrepreneur. The man who'd slap Donald Trump's hair to the other side if he tried getting in a pissing contest with him, Theodore Moneymaker. He saw what Mackie was putting together so the businessman that he is, he sought a working arrangement with SMN Productions and ended up merging his company, Moneymaker Enterprises, with ours to form the premier entity in business The Enterprise. SIMON We also wanna give some mad respect to our boy Christian Wright. With him apart of our organization there isn't a person alive who could stop us from running roughshod over the OAOAST. NED In closing, I want to update everyone on the injury I sustained weeks back. An injury that kept me from pulling double duty tomorrow night, which being the competitor that I am I would've taken on with the same fire and determination as all my other bouts. Thank you for all the cards, letters and e-mails being sent. They mean alot to me in this time of great disappointment in not being able to compete on a full-time basis. But I assure you you're gawking at the next World tag team champions. 24 hours from now a pair of shiny gold belts will be wrapped around our waists. SIMON And that's a wrap! The Blonds pose with their awards as we go to break. Hey wrestling fans, hear the news? The 3rd annual Anderson Cup is about to hit your tube Ever wonder where all the tag team action is at? Well look no further than the One & Only Anglesault Thread. 16 teams, 2 conferences A tournament so big but only one tag team can move onto AngleMania VI Now listen up, a word to the wise You can catch all the action as it happens live TSM is the place to be, starting January 4th you can catch all the happenings So don't miss a minute, the action will be hot and heavy With the finals taking place on Syndicated February 23rd, 2007! 3RD ANNUAL ANDERSON CUP Beginning January 4th on TSM Commercial break

The Blowin' Bajas play us back from commercial break as we go to the lovely Maria who is in the fan area, trying to keep a radiant smile among the fans that are mugging for the camera (and probably ogling her in her strapless red gown). MARIA We're back! This is Maria and I'm here with the fans because I want to hear what they think should win some of these awards tonight. (Sticking the mic in front of a guy in his 20s wearing a Zack Malibu shirt) Who do you think will win Feud of the Year? FAN (shouting) I THINK IT'S GONNA BE BRUCE BLANK VS. ZACK MALIBU BECAUSE BRUCE IS A DICK AND ZACK RULES!!1!1!!! ZACK RULES!!!!!! MARIA (quickly bringing the mic back) Okay, that's one fan's opinion. Let's go back to the stage. The Blowin' Bajas play the OU fight song as the Sooner Bruisers walk to the stage. Frank howls to the fans as Uber stands in front of the mic. UBER The next award is for Best Title Reign, but the guys that made these nominees screwed up because you've got the OAOAST World Tag Team champs right here, but we're not nominated. We punked out the Heavenly Suckers already and we can beat Black T any day of the week. That's all right though, because tomorrow we're going to go through five of this place's best teams and show everyone who is the best around here. FRANK *Howls* UBER Here are the nominees: - Alfdogg (World Title) - Zack Malibu (HI-YAH World) - Peter Knight (World) - Brock Ausstin (Heartland title) - Heavenly Rockers (Tag) UBER Still can't believe those punks got nominated. Yeah, *tears open envelope* the award goes to Alfdogg! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Alfdogg rises from his table, which is adorned with little Canadian flags, and walks up to the stage to the strains of "O' Canada". ALFDOGG First off, I'd like to thank all my fans in the great nation of Canada for cheering me on this year as I dominated this company as it's champion, showing more taste in champions than these Americans. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" ALFDOGG Second, I want to point out the hypocrisy of this Amercian company when it comes to the current champion, Drek Stone. The man has not defended his title in months and even walked out on a big pay-per-view match. If a Canadian was champion and did that, you'd have stripped him of the title already and probably would have suspended him without pay. This is the kind of corruption of the system that made me turn to the north and see how things really should be done...... *The "get off the stage" music begins* ALF Fine, you can silence me now, but I have more to say and I will do so when I win more of these awards. Thank you, Canada!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Alf walks off the stage and back to his table, where Deon Black sticks a Canadian flag in one of the hands of the statuette. JOEL In an award given out earlier tonight, the Comedy Match of the Year went to the Run For the Gold II match from Living Angleously. To present our next award, here are the former HI-YAH Tag Team champions, D*LUX and their manager, Jade Rodez. D*LUX and Jade walk out to applause, though Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph take the time to stand and laugh and mock them, causing Jade to have to calm her charges down before taking the mic. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boriqua point at them, telling them "we'll get you tomorrow." Things calm and Jade begins to speak. JADE It's great to be here tonight. First, I just wanted to pass along a message from my brother to all of you, thanking you for all the cards, letters and....uh, "reading material" that I'm not allowed to touch. *Applause* We quickly cut to Landon Maddix and the Wildcards sharing a smirk at the memory of nearly crippling him in WarGames and then cut to Zack Malibu watching them, the anger obvious on his face. JADE Um, the next award is for Feud of the Year. Here are the nominees: - Peter Knight vs. Alfdogg - Zack Malibu vs. Bruce Blank - Drek Stone vs. Tha Puerto Rican - Hooligans vs. Wildcards - Alfdogg vs. Brock Ausstin Jade daintily opens the envelope. JADE The winner is......uh oh.....Zack Malibu vs. Bruce Blank! From across the room, Malibu and Blank eye each other, with Blank offering a tip of his cowboy hat. The room falls silent, as no one is sure what's going to happen next, or which of the two superstars will get up to accept the award. Finally, Malibu gets up, looking back at Blank, who speaks in a low tone to Todd Cortez. Zack gets to the stage and is handed the award, taking a moment to look at it before looking at Blank. MALIBU You know, after all he's done, I think it's only fitting that Bruce be the one to take this award home with him. After his statement, Malibu takes the award...and hurls it at Blank's table, shattering the centerpiece and scaring the bejesus out of The Wildcards! Angrily, Blank starts to storm the stage, but the room goes into RED ALERT~! mode, as security and most of the roster form a wall, prevening the two men from tearing each other apart! It's chaos at the Angle Awards, as we quickly cut to break to restore order. Commercial break

We fade in to a helicopter shot of Daytona Beach, Florida at night. A sustained tympani note is heard as the Angle Awards logo comes onto the screen. JOEL GODDARD Live from the fabulous Hilton hotel in beautiful Daytona Beach, Florida, it's the 2006 Angle Awards, showcasing the best of the year that was in the One And Only Anglesault Thread! Scheduled to appear: Anglesault! Zack Malibu! Bruce Blank! Maria! Landon Maddix! Drek Stone! and many others! We go into the fabulous hotel ballroom where the stage is set towards the back of the room. It is a wrestling ring cut in half with golden ropes and a red carpet as the ring floor (think the '96 Slammys) with a large representation of the Angle Award trophy, a golden Kurt Angle with his arms thrust into the air, behind it. Around the stage are about 20 tables where the stars and staff of the OAOAST sit with friends and tag partners. A pan around the room shows that The Hooligans have their own table on one side of the room while the Wildcards sit on the other side. Neither group is exactly what you would call "formally" dressed for this event, as evidenced by the dirty cowboy hat that sits in front of Bruce Blank and the shirt and jeans look of the Hooligans. Of course, Theodore Moneymaker is wearing a suit that probably cost more than most people make in six months. Behind the tables, a group of bleachers sit where about a hundred lucky fans are able to watch the festivities live. JOEL And now, your hosts for the evening, Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura! Applause greets Jesse and Tony as they walk onto the stage to the podium. Both are dressed in tuxes and, surprisingly, Jesse's keeping his low-key. He puffs on a cigar as Tony takes the mic. TONY Good evening everyone and welcome to the 2006 Angle Awards! Another year is about to come to an end, so it is time for our annual look back at the best that the OAOAST has brought our great fans around the world. At the mention of the fans, the crowd in back lets out a round of cheers. TONY Tony, I still can't believe that something that started off with the word ::beltshot:: is still alive and kicking five years later. Tonight, before we have our first ever interactive show, Mainframe Monday, tomorrow night, the stars of the OAOAST are vying for one of these beautiful statuettes. This is the greatest awards show..... JESSE "...in the history of our sport", right? You are so predictable, Tony Schiavone. Let's just get things going with our first award. TONY Fine. Our first award is for Most Entertaining Character. Here are the nominees: - Drek Stone - Landon Maddix - Zack Malibu - Tha Puerto Rican - Christian Wright - Hooligans Jesse picks up the envelope as Tony holds the award. JESSE And the winner is.......Landon Maddix! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Landon leaps from his table, receiving high-fives from his fellow Wildcards before walking up to the stage and snatching the trophy from Schiavone. MADDIX You're damn right Most Entertaining! I don't call myself The Saviour Of The OAOAST because it markets well, because it doesn't. It's because I save the OAOAST from mediocrity! And this award, this is proof. This is admittance. This is acceptance for Landon Maddix. You... love me. You REALLY love me! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Good news is, I'm going to entertain even more in 2007. You only saw half a year's worth of entertainment this time around, next year is going to top that and then some! Hey, maybe I'll even bring Landon Live! to the OAOAST. If I feel you deserve it. Until then, buy my t-shirts. Thank you! The house band (a jazz band called "Brian Boherty and The Blowin' Bajas") plays as Maddix walks off the stage. JOEL Here to present the award for "Most Welcome Return or Debut", here is one of the OAOAST's crack interviewers, Josh Matthews! Music plays him in, but the shrill screams that fill the air drown it out as Josh struts his handsome self onto the stage. He waves and blows a kiss to his adoring fans as he puts the statuette on the podium. JOSH Thank you. Thank you, ladies. GIRL I LUV U JOSH~!!~! JOSH Thank you, I love you too. GIRL I'M STILL GETTING THAT $50 FOR SAYING THAT, RIGHT? Josh stammers for a second before composing himself. JOSH *Ahem* The ranks of the OAOAST grew once again in 2006; some new arrivals from the SWF spiced things up while favorites returned. Here are the nominees for Most Welcome Return or Deubt: - Drek Stone - Anglesault - Wildcards - Theodore Moneymaker - James Riggs - Beverly Hills Blonds JOSH And the winner is........Drek Stone! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Music plays as everyone looks around to see where Stone is seated, but nobody rises up and walks to the stage. The music stops and everyone looks at each other, confused. Suddenly, a be-headsetted producer approaches Josh and whispers something into his ear. JOSH Oh, you have to be kidding me. The producer gives an apologetic look before scurrying off-camera. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, although he was scheduled to appear tonight, Drek Stone is not here. Apparently he was called in to do emergency re-shoots for his new movie. The camera catches Zack Malibu shaking his head in disgust. JOSH So, I accept this award on his behalf. Josh picks up the award and walks off stage. JOEL Coming up next, the awards for Best Title Reign, Comedy Match of the Year and Feud of the Year. Stay tuned. Commercial break

"LIGHTNING CREW!" The crowd starts booing loudly. The lights go down in the arena as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts playing. Smoke fills the entryway. Then, the crescendo hits, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha, ha, yeah) We’re up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* A Mexican flag is shown waving proudly on the AngleTron. The entrance doors slide open, and Mr. Boricua comes out with the crowd booing more. Mr. Boricua looks at the crowd. He grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. Mr. B yells, and then walks down the entrance ramp, a scowl on his face. *But will find their place in line (In line) But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz Cuz it’s just a matter of time Cuz you’ve got...NO CHANCE! (You’ve got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got...NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got...NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got...NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL!* *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a No Disqualification Match scheduled for one fall with TV time limit remaining. And if Mr. Boricua wins, then Stacey Robertson MUST SPEND New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From Tijuana, Mexico. Weighing in at 300 lbs. He is the bodyguard for The Lightning Crew, MISTERRRRRRRRRR BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mr. Boricua yells at the fans as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE Well, this is a big one. Lots is on the line in this one match! Stacey Robertson may just have to spend New Year’s Eve with Vitamin X if Colombian Heat loses this match. COACH Vitamin X has been looking forward to this match all night. How much of a shot does Colombian Heat have against Mr. Boricua anyway? Spanish Fly is unconscious. D*LUX hate him. He’s all alone! HA HA! And I love it! *Come on Come on Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on Come on Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on Come on Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!)* Mr. Boricua climbs over the top rope to enter the ring. A spotlight shines on Mr. B in the center of the ring. Boricua does The Lightning Crew Salute to boos. COLE This is the last main event of HeldDOWN~! for 2006. And the question on everyone’s mind is, will we end the year on a high note or a low note? COACH God willing, it’s a low note. COLE The pressure is on Colombian Heat. Either he wins or his girlfriend, the love of his life, must be forced to be with the disgusting Lightning Crew from now until New Year’s Day! COACH Now why you gotta call them disgusting? COLE Because putting a human beign up for grabs like this is disgusting and The Lightning Crew should be ashamed of themselves. COACH Hey, they’re just doing whatever they can to make Vitamin X happy. They love that guy, and they know how much he wants Stacey, so they’re going to give her to him the best way they know how! COLE You would say that. You’ve never had a successful relationship in your life! COACH Screw you, Michael. Screw you. Mr. Boricua poses on a second turnbuckle and then heads to the outside to yell at the fans. The lights go back on in the arena and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. COLE This won’t be an easy match for Colombian Heat. We can tell you that much. COACH This is 6’9" 300 pounds of pure granite Colombian Heat is facing! He’s dead meat! A piano plays a melody causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *COME ON!* *BOOM!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes out, not as energetic as usual. In fact, he is quite somber. Heat is holding Stacey Robertson by her left hand as he steps out onto the entrance stage. Stacey, wearing a green tanktop with gold trim, a gold necklace, gold bracelets, diamond earrings, tight blue jeans, and black heels is also quite serious. Heat and Stacey look at each other, kiss, and then walk down the entrance ramp, with Heat slapping fans hands along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and girlfriend, Stacey Robertson. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He...is...COLOMBIAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! COLE Well you know, Colombian Heat didn’t ask for this. He didn’t want to put his girlfriend up for grabs like this. This was all Tha Puerto Rican’s idea. HE thought of this! And if Colombian Heat does happen to lose tonight, then Heat will have even MORE of a reason to hate PRL! COACH And if he wins? COLE Then maybe Vitamin X can leave Stacey alone, and Heat can concentrate on winning the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles! COACH ...Nah, not going to happen. Colombian Heat walks around ringside, slapping hands with the fans, and then climbs up the ring steps. Mr. Boricua is in the ring and is looking intensely at Heat. CH holds the ropes for Stacey Robertson to enter the ring. Stacey then holds the ropes for Heat to enter. COLE Look at Colombian Heat. Look at the expression on his face. It’s almost as if he’s not sure of himself. Like he doesn’t think he can win this match. COACH That’s because he CAN’T. Colombian Heat has never faced Mr. Boricua one-on-one before. Oh sure, he’s faced him in tag team matches before...which he has lost! But never in a one-on-one match. He has every right to be afraid, because he WILL lose and Stacey Robertson WILL have to spend New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew! COLE I hope for Heat’s sake that he wins, because I can’t imagine how he would feel if Stacey were to be forced to spend the rest of the year with The LC. COACH He’d feel absolutely devastated. Which is why I want him to lose. COLE You have no sympathy for other people, do you? COACH What’s that? COLE *Sigh* Colombian Heat gets on the second rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then kisses Stacey Robertson once again. Stacey leaves the ring. Mr. Boricua cracks his knuckles and snorts. Colombian Heat stands in a corner, pulling on the top rope as "Gasolina (Remix)" continues playing. He has a serious expression on his face. COLE I don’t think Heat’s going to do his pre-match routine! COACH Good. Spare us another week of his crap! Referee Mike Chioda pats down Colombian Heat and Mr. Boricua. Then, he calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH COLOMBIAN HEAT (with Stacey Robertson) vs. MR. BORICUA (If Mr. Boricua wins, then Stacey Robertson must spend New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew) "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd is hot, rooting Heat on. Mr. Boricua flicks his wrists and sneers at Colombian Heat, who stands his ground. Suddenly-- *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role ’99" starts blasting over the P.A. system. The entrance doors slide open, and out comes...Thomas Rodriguez. Thomas runs out carrying a leather recliner, which he places near the edge of the entrance stage. COLE What the? What’s going on? Thomas then sets a table with a bowl of grapes in it next to the recliner. Finally, he dusts the recliner with a dust buster, and then heads back through the entrance doors. He comes out with "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! COLE PR and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez? What are they doing here? PR and Lindsay motion for someone else to follow them. It’s Vitamin X. COACH And Vitamin X too! Thomas Rodriguez acts like a waiter, seating PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez on the recliner. Thomas then leaves through the entrance doors. PRL is still in his ring gear from earlier tonight and places his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over the recliner. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is wearing a blue dress shirt, red tie, $500 Rolex watch, black leather skirt, and black heels, and gets a seat on the lap of The Corporate Champ. Vitamin X decides to simply stand next to the happy couple and watch the match. COLE Vitamin X, PRL, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are watching this match from the entrance stage! COACH They’re getting a nice front row seat. No wait, this is even better than front row! The perks of being the Corporate Champion! Lindsay starts feeding PRL grapes. Stacey Robertson looks at Vitamin X with disgust. X responds by waving to Stacey. Colombian Heat jaw jacks with The Lightning Crew members as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. COLE Heat obviously not happy with this development. You just know that The Lightning Crew isn’t going to stand there on the entrance stage. COACH Would you relax? They just want to enjoy the match. When has The Lightning Crew done something shady? COLE Do you really want me to answer that question? Mr. Boricua sees Colombian Heat jaw jacking with PRL, so even he is smart enough to realize that he should attack now, which he does! "Know Your Role ’99" dies down as Mr. Boricua starts hammering away at Colombian Heat. Stacey Robertson watches on with a worried look on beautiful face, while PR and Lindsay cheer Boricua on. COLE And Mr. Boricua is not surprisingly in control of this match at the start! Mr. Boricua continues hitting Heat with the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. Boricua grabs Heat by his right arm and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Boricua goes for a big boot, Heat ducks under it, bounces off the ropes, and fires with a leg lariat! However, Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall! Still, Colombian Heat starts punching Mr. Boricua in the face repeatedly, trying to daze the big man. COLE Colombian Heat doing whatever he can for Stacey! For his girlfriend! For the woman that he loves! COACH We get it, Cole. Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes again-- *BAM!* But gets booted in the face by Mr. Boricua! COLE Awww! And Colombian Heat almost got his head taken off by Mr. Boricua! The crowd boos. Vitamin X is neither smiling nor frowning. He is just staring intently at the match, knowing that the result is of utmost importance to him. Lindsay feeds PRL some more grapes as Mr. Boricua picks Colombian Heat up and gives him a Russian Legsweep. He then follows with a leg drop across the throat of Heat. "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" "LET’S GO HEAT!" Boricua covers Heat. 1... 2... KICK OUT! Mr. Boricua yells. I don’t know why, he just does. Boricua picks up Colombian Heat, who is already weakened. Mr. Boricua punches Colombian Heat square in the face. Colombian Heat punches Boricua. Boricua punches Heat. Heat punches Boricua! Back and forth they go, engaging in a slugfest! Mr. Boricua gains the advantage, punching Colombian Heat again and again, and then whipping him into the ropes--Colombian Heat reverses--and fires with an AJ Styles-like dropkick! The punches take Mr. Boricua into the ropes, where he rests. Colombian Heat then charges forward and clotheslines Mr. Boricua over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Whoa! Colombian Heat clotheslining Mr. Boricua! What a move! Mr. B rests on the outside, catching his breath. Colombian Heat looks at the worried Stacey, and then climbs the top rope. Heat is hunched over on the top rope as he waits for Mr. Boricua to get up. COLE Mr. Boricua better watch out! Colombian Heat is going to fly! Mr. Boricua slowly gets back to his feet. Boricua stumbles around...and Colombian Heat jumps off the top rope with a flying crossbody! CAUGHT by Mr. Boricua! Mr. Boricua charges forward, and slams Colombian Heat’s back against a ring post! COLE Oh! What a shot! Colombian Heat’s back has been brutalized by Mr. Boricua! Boricua yells, and then hoists Colombian Heat up in the air in a gorilla press slam position. He then drops Colombian Heat on the edge of the barricade! And follows with another clothesline! PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez applaud Mr. Boricua on their recliner. COLE And The Lightning Crew is loving this! COACH Every minute that passes is another minute closer to Vitamin X getting Stacey Robertson. COLE That is something neither Colombian Heat NOR Stacey Robertson want to happen! Mr. Boricua grabs Colombian Heat by his head and slams him on top of the ring steps! Mr. B then starts choking Colombian Heat with his bare hands, but Heat knees him in the gut to stop it. Colombian Heat forearms Mr. Boricua in the face. He then does it again. And again! And again! And again! The crowd comes alive as CH grabs the stunned Boricua and whips him into the barricade--NO! Mr. Boricua reverses, and it’s Colombian Heat who hits the barricade HARD! COLE It seems like no matter what Colombian Heat does, Mr. Boricua is ready. COACH That’s because Mr. Boricua is SIX-FOOT NINE, YOU DUMB ASS! COLE You don’t have to be so mean about it, geeze! Boricua pulls Colombian Heat off the barricade. Vitamin X is still intently watching the match. Mr. B punches Colombian Heat repeatedly in the face. He then headbutts him. Then, Mr. Boricua turns Colombian Heat around, hooks him up, lifts him up, and gives him a Full Nelson Slam on the floor! COLE Full Nelson Slam! Full Nelson Slam on the floor! What a brutal move from Mr. Boricua! COACH He is just DOMINATING Colombian Heat! He is just going to lose big time! Mr. Boricua yells some more. Boricua snorts and then picks Colombian Heat up by his head and red T-shirt. Mr. Boricua yells again, and then whips Colombian Heat into the ring steps, right shoulder first HARD! The camera cuts to Stacey Robertson, who is fretful for her boyfriend. Heat collapses onto the floor, looking completely out of it. Mr. Boricua grabs another pair of ring steps and tear them up from their position at ringside. He throws them onto the floor and then goes over to where Colombian Heat is. Boricua stomps on the back of Heat for a few minutes, then goes back to where the ring steps are and picks them up, lifting them over his head. COACH Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Colombian Heat is in trouble! Look out! HA! HA! Mr. Boricua lifts the ring steps high over his head... *KA-POW!* AND GETS HIT WITH THE PELE KICK FROM COLOMBIAN HEAT! COLE The Pele Kick! Pele Kick from Colombian Heat! COACH Oh, he can hit it from anywhere! Mr. Boricua lies on the floor, the ring steps over him. The crowd starts cheering again. Colombian Heat struggles to get up. Stacey Robertson is biting her nails. PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez are growing increasingly worried. Vitamin X continues watching the match with a blank expression on his face. Heat uses the ring apron to pull himself up. While he does this, the crowd boos as CUBAN WALL comes out! COLE Oh no! Cuban Wall is here! Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he walks down the entrance ramp. He walks right behind Stacey Robertson. Stacey bumps into Wall, and screams when she turns around and sees him. Wall laughs as Stacey walks backwards, away from Wall. COLE What’s Wall doing? Why is he out here? COACH Just showing support for his tag team partner at Mainframe Monday, that’s all. COLE Vote now! The crowd boos. Colombian Heat has picked Mr. Boricua up. But when he sees Cuban Wall stalking Stacey Robertson, he turns his attention towards him. COLE Colombian Heat isn’t too keen with Cuban Wall being near Stacey! COACH He isn’t too keen with ANYBODY being near Stacey! He’s so paranoid! Colombian Heat runs up to where Stacey and Wall are and tells Wall off. He gets in front of Stacey Robertson and yells at Cuban Wall. Cuban Wall surprisingly just backs off, nodding his head. Wall goes back to the entrance ramp. Heat gives Cuban Wall a dirty look. COLE Well, that was weird. Cuban Wall just backed off. COACH Something’s up, Michael. And I can’t wait to find out just what that is! Colombian Heat checks to see if Stacey Robertson is okay. He then goes back to where Mr. Boricua is...and gets kicked in the stomach! Mr. Boricua then clutches Colombian Heat by his throat. COLE Oh no! COACH Oh yes! The crowd boos loudly. Stacey Robertson looks on as does Cuban Wall. Mr. Boricua lifts Colombian Heat up, holding onto his back. Boricua walks over to the announcer’s table. COLE Incoming! MR. BORICUA CHOKESLAMS COLOMBIAN HEAT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE! COLE Holy--! The crowd can’t believe it, and neither can Stacey Robertson. Heat is convulsing on what is left of the announcer’s table. PRL and Lindsay applaud this. Mr. Boricua yells. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" Mr. Boricua picks up the dazed and confused Colombian Heat. Stacey puts her hands over his mouth, worried for her man. Mr. B throws Colombian Heat into the ring. PRL sneers at the crowd. COLE PRL and Lindsay Gonzalez are loving this. Mr. Boricua is this close to ending the match and giving Stacey Robertson to The Lightning Crew! Boricua sneers, grunts, and yells. Boricua picks up Colombian Heat. He growls and then punches him in the face. Colombian Heat punches Mr. Boricua in the face. Mr. Boricua punches Colombian Heat in the face. Heat punches Mr. Boricua in the face. Back and forth they go. Boricua! Heat! Boricua! Heat! Boricua! Heat! Boricua! Heat! COLE And look at this! Colombian Heat is fighting back! Heat punches Mr. Boricua. He punches him in the face again. He then punches Mr. Boricua in the face AGAIN! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then punches Mr. Boricua a fourth time to complete the Shake, Rattle, & Roll. But Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall! So, Colombian Heat heads to the ropes and clotheslines Mr. Boricua! Boricua stumbles, but doesn’t fall! Heat bounces off the ropes again. Clothesline, but Mr. Boricua STILL doesn’t fall. Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes a third time and hits another clothesline. Mr. Boricua ALMOST falls. So, Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes a fourth time and leaps up, hitting Mr. Boricua with a leg lariat to knock him down! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE He did it! Heat did it! He just knocked down the almost 7-foot Mr. Boricua! COACH OH NO! COLE Oh, you’re back. Darn. Colombian Heat gets the crowd fired up. Mr. Boricua lies in the center of the ring. Heat sees this and gets an idea. Colombian Heat looks at the crowd...and then kicks Mr. Boricua’s right hand onto his chest. COLE Hey. Hey. He’s not going to-- COACH No! That’s stealing! Stealing like the thug that he is! COLE Colombian Heat is going to do it! Colombian Heat points a finger at Tha Puerto Rican, who is NOT pleased at what Heat’s about to do. Colombian Heat removes his Colombian flag bandana and throws it down on Mr. Boricua’s head. He then does some weird hand signals, and then SHIMMYS~!, before bouncing off the ropes, leaping over Mr. Boricua, bouncing off the opposite ropes-- *WHAM!* AND INTO A FLYING CHAIRSHOT FROM VITAMIN X! COLE OH MY GOD! The crowd is shocked! Vitamin X quickly slides out of the ring with the steel chair in his hands. The shock turns to booing as Colombian Heat lies on the mat next to Mr. Boricua. COLE Oh no! This can’t be happening! This really can’t be happening! Stacey senses things are about to get worst, and her eyes start tearing up. VX is frantically ordering for Mr. Boricua to get up. Cuban Wall, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Tha Puerto Rican just watch while the crowd chants, "HEAT!" COLE Mr. Boricua is down. Colombian Heat is down! I get the feeling that whoever gets up first will win the match! COACH That was amazing! What an incredible chairshot from Vitamin X! Can we see that again? The OAOAST Double Shot Replay brought to you by Starbucks™ shows us the instant replay of Vitamin X’s flying chairshot on Colombian Heat from different angles. COLE Vitamin X using his great leaping ability to hit Colombian Heat with that chair! And he may have just turned the tide. Colombian Heat could be moments away from losing Stacey Robertson to The Lightning Crew for the rest of the year! Mr. Boricua starts to get up. Vitamin X is still holding the steel chair with his hands. Colombian Heat also starts getting up, but Boricua is already sitting on the mat. Colombian Heat is fatigued, breathing hard and perspiring like mad. Still, he uses all the strength he’s got left to move his shoulders off the mat. Mr. Boricua, also sucking in wind and sweating, uses the second rope to pull himself to his right knee. COLE Stacey doing her best to get her boyfriend up! Stacey is slapping the ring apron, yelling for Heat to get up. Mr. Boricua uses the top rope to pull himself into a vertical base. Colombian Heat uses the bottom rope to pull himself to his right knee. Mr. Boricua has a sinister scowl on his face. He growls and then walks over to Colombian Heat, who is on both his knees now. The fans in attendance buzz in anticipation of Boricua’s next move. Mr. Boricua grabs Colombian Heat by his head and places him in between his legs. COLE He’s going for it! He’s going to end this match right now! COACH Do it Boricua! Do it! Do it for The Lightning Crew! Do it for Vitamin X! Vitamin X is nodding approvingly. Cuban Wall raises his hands in the air. PRL and Lindsay yell in victory. Stacey Robertson has no choice but to watch as Mr. Boricua grabs Colombian Heat and lifts him up over his head. A hush silence falls over the crowd as Boricua holds the weakened Heat up in the air for a few seconds. THEN SLAMS HIM DOWN TO THE MAT HARD WITH THE LATINO BOMB!!!!!!!!!!111111111 COLE The Latino Bomb! Mr. Boricua with that Powerbomb, what he calls the Latino Bomb, on Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat lies on the mat, spread-eagle. His eyes are glazed over. The crowd boos loudly as Mr. Boricua snorts, yells, and then gets on his knees. Mr. Boricua covers Colombian Heat, hooking Heat’s right leg. Mike Chioda gets into position to make the count. The rest of The Lightning Crew counts along. Stacey Robertson says a silent prayer. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999 COLE Kick out, Heat! Kick out! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (10:12) COLE No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! NO! The crowd is deflated. Vitamin X jumps up and down, dropping his chair in the process. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing as Stacey Robertson stands there in shock, realizing what must happen now. Mr. Boricua gets off of Colombian Heat and yells some more. BUFFER Here is your winner...MISTERRRRRRRRRR BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAA! Therefore, Stacey Robertson MUST SPEND New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew! PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez applaud from their recliner chair. "No Chance In Hell" continues to play as Vitamin X runs around the ringside area celebrating his "victory". The shock has turned to boos as the fans are unhappy with this result. COLE Well, I can’t believe it. I’m not really surprised, but I still can’t believe it. Stacey Robertson, the girlfriend of Colombian Heat, is now being FORCED, I repeat, FORCED to spend the next four days with The Lightning Crew! She’s basically The Lightning Crew’s slave for four days! COACH Correction, she is VITAMIN X’S slave! Get it right! COLE Oh that somehow makes it worse! Colombian Heat is still knocked out. Cuban Wall stalks Stacey Robertson again. Stacey tries to back off, but Cuban Wall grabs her by her long red hair and then hoists her onto his left shoulder. Cuban Wall smiles evilly as he walks with Stacey Robertson over his left shoulder up the entrance ramp. Stacey Robertson screams and yells, trying to escape Cuban Wall’s clutches, but it’s no use. Still, she keeps on fighting to free herself as Cuban Wall laughs manically. Vitamin X walks up the entrance ramp next to Cuban Wall and taunts Stacey, licking his lips and making kissing noises. Mr. Boricua exits the ring and joins up with Brains & Brawn. Mike Chioda checks on Colombian Heat, who is showing signs of life. COLE What a horrible scene. What a depressing, horrible scene! COACH What a night for The Lightning Crew! They have managed to eliminate both #1 Contenders to PRL and Popick’s HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles in one night! COLE This is such a rotten way to end 2006! Stacey Robertson is being held captive by The Lightning Crew! This is a horrible way to end our last HeldDOWN~! of the year! Stacey lunges at Vitamin X, who ducks and continues taunting her. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing as the crowd boos. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua join up with Tha Puerto Rican and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez on the entrance stage. Thomas Rodriguez then comes out to check on Stacey Robertson, who is still flailing away on Cuban Wall’s left shoulder. Meanwhile, in the ring, Colombian Heat is crawling around, a defeated man. COLE Stacey Robertson has been dragged away from the love of her life! She must now spend the next 96 hours with The Lightning Crew! She must be away from her boyfriend, from her family, from everyone she knows and cares about for New Year’s Eve! And all to fulfil some sick fantasy from one of the most disgusting men I’ve ever seen in my life! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN On behalf of everyone in The Lightning Crew, including our honorary member, Stacey Robertson, we would like to wish all of you pieces of trailer park trash, especially you Colombian Heat, a very Happy CORPORATE New Year! See you in 2007! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thank you and good night! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts up again. PRL blows a kiss to the crowd. He then puts his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder, and puts his right arm around Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez’s shoulders. The couple exits through the entrance doors, followed by Thomas Rodriguez, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, and Cuban Wall with Stacey Robertson still yelling and screaming and fighting to escape on top of Cuban Wall’s left shoulder. The crowd is still booing despite The Lightning Crew (and Stacey Robertson) having already left. The camera cuts to the ring where Colombian Heat is using the second rope to pull himself up. COACH Happy New Year, PRL! COLE What a downer to end this show, to end 2006. Everything’s absolutely chaotic in this company! What’s in store for 2007? For Jonathon "The Coach" Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long for now! We’ll see you this Sunday for the 2006 OAOAST Angle Awards and on Monday, New Year’s Day, for the New Year’s Spectacular: Mainframe Monday! See you then! Colombian Heat struggles to get to his feet. The camera does a close-up of Heat’s face as he uses the top rope to help himself up. Heat is shaking a little, sweating, breathing hard, and crushed with tears forming in his eyes. He starts to sniffle, knowing that he has lost his girl to The Lightning Crew, as the crowd continues booing and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing. This is the last image we see as 2006 comes to a close. FADE OUT

COLE We're back on HeldDOWN and standing by is Tony Schiavone and he's with The Enterprise! Tony, take it away... Backstage we go to the OAOAST's Update Center, which looks strangely like the desk ringside back when NWA was on the TBS Super Station. Go figure, because Tony Schiavone is standing behind the desk, microphone in hand and ready to go. SCHIAVONE Well, Christmas has come and gone and now we are all looking ahead to the New Year, more so than usual this year with the New Year's Spectacular, Mainframe Monday, live from Daytona Beach on New Year's Day! And my guests at this time have plenty of vested interest in Mainframe Monday, Theodore Moneymaker and his Enterprise. From the left side of the screen, the five members of The Enterprise walk in. Moneymaker leads the way, standing himself next to Schiavone and adjusting his smoking jacket with a big smile on his face. Mackenzie and The Beverly Hills Blonds, who are dressed in their pastel blue suits, plus Christian Wright clad in the red polyester jacket of much expence follow. Christian drops his briefcase on the desk as The Enterprise assemble themselves in shot. All of them seem to be sporting new ROLEX WATCHES, presumably Christmas present from the leader himself. SCHIAVONE Gentlemen, the World Tag Team Championship will be the focus of your attention at Mainframe Monday. And all four of you will be entered into the match, be it a Battle Royal, Triple Chance Battle Royal or Tag Team Turmoil, which begs the question, what is the gameplan? MONEYMAKER What is the gameplan? The gameplan, little man, is to come away with those OAOAST World Tag Team Championships in our possession. And that's EXACTLY what's gonna happen on New Year's Day. You see Tony Schiavone, those poor peasants out there in TV land might be exciting about the thought of finally having some power in their miserable lives, assuming they're running the show this New Year. But no amount of votes is going to change the outcome. The destination of those World Tag Team Championships is determined by one thing and one thing alone. Cold, hard, cash! Ned starts to applaud, showing off his gleaming 'HUSTLER' cufflinks, Simon nodding his head in agreement beside him. MONEYMAKER It's no coincidence that out of six teams competing for those belts, you've got two respresenting The Enterprise. It didn't take much convincing the powers that be that myself and Christian should be involved. Our record since he joined the fold speaks for itself. But, I'll be honest, for some reason the 'higher ups' were a little less co-operative about The Beverly Hills Blonds' inclusion. SCHIAVONE Well that may be because they were scheduled to face Los Diablos, until Ned's 'groin injury' popped up. BLANCHARD And that's the only thing that's 'popped up' since then, so I suggest you drop the suspicious tone in your voice. You're looking at a wounded man here. I couldn't even defend myself last week against those depraved deportees, you saw it! And to make matters worse, their 'antics' caused me to suffer a relapse of my injury last week. (grimaces) A lesser man would be in traction right now. It's all I can do to pull this suit on in the morning. Infact, were it not so exclusively and finely tailored, I might not even be here tonight. I have but one person to thank for being here though. And that's you Teddy. The 'humbled' Theodore Moneymaker turns to Ned and places a comforting arm on his shoulders. BLANCHARD This man has generously funded, out of his own pocket no less, my recouperation efforts. And this week, I was whisked away to the warm waters of Vero Beach, where the finest physical therapists known to man have attended to my injury. Night and day those ladies worked on The Handsome Hustler. And thank the Lord we made progress. Unfortunately, I'm still not in the kind of shape to pull double duty on New Year's Day... SINGLETON Depending on how the after-party goes, of course. BLANCHARD ...but I'm confident I can do myself justice in the Tag Team Title Match. SCHIAVONE I'm sure your fans will be glad to hear it's not a 'serious' injury. The sarcasm in Tony's voice earns him some sharp looks. MONEYMAKER Are you a doctor? SCHIAVONE Well, no, it's just tha... MONEYMAKER Are you a doctor!? SCHIAVONE No I'm not... MONEYMAKER Then keep those lips buttoned little man. If I want a second opinion, I'll pay for one from a trained professional! Not some glorified quote-un-quote 'journalist'! You don't know just how serious the injury is. But I'll tell ya this, Ned Blanchard is a man. A real man. A man who will fight through the pain barrier for all those nine to five, nickel n' dimers out there who'll throw down their measly wages on this New Year's show. And don't you worry about Los Diablos. They're taken care of. It won't be at The Beverly Hills Blonds' hands, sadly, but they WILL get what's coming to them! All five members of The Enterprise nod in agreement. MONEYMAKER And it's going to be a triple celebration for The Enterprise. Not only are these men going to bask in the wealth of Theodore Moneymaker and the most lavish New Year's Party my money can buy... not only are we gonna bask in the knowledge that Los Diablos are finally dealt with... but we are also going to bask in the glory of those OAOAST World Tag Team Championships little man! Whether it's myself and my Financial Analyst Christian Wright... Wright pats the briefcase and nods, Ned patting his stable-mate on the back. MONEYMAKER ...or whether it's The Beverly Hills Blonds walking away with their fourth World Tag Team Title. It doesn't matter either way. You're looking at four men destined for greatness. One way or another, The Enterprise will walk away with those World Tag Team Titles. And Schiavone, you can take THAT to the bank! MWUAHAHAHAHA!! And on that note, the note of Theodore Moneymaker's low voice cackling away, The Enterprise walk away with self-congratulation high on the agenda. Tony Schiavone just watches on shaking his head at the arrogance of the fivesome. SCHIAVONE The Enterprise in high spirits! Let's go back to ringside. Cut to the interview stage(~!) and the incomporable Mene Gene Okerlund, standing by. OKERLUND Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time... with their manager JADE RODEZ, they are D*LUX!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" As "First To Believe" thumps through the arena, out come D*LUX. "Tremendous" Tyler and "Showtime" Shayne lead the way up the steps to the interview stage, with Jade cutting a rather forlorn figure behind them. The trio get a warm reception from the fans around the interview stage and they acknowledge it, despite clearly not being in the best of moods. OKERLUND Jade, gentlemen, thank you for joining me out here... during what has to be considered a challenging time. Right now, you're going through argueable the toughest period of your young career as a team. No longer HI-YAH Tag Team Champion, nor the Number One Contenders after last week. You've come through tough times in the past, can you do so once again with the weight of so many challenges on your shoulders? JADE It has been tough recently Gene. PRL and Popick tricked us and took our titles. The Lightning Crew are all after us. And the only team we thought we could rely on to help us can't help holding a grudge. To be honest, I'm... not all that sure what to do. At times like this, I'd turn to my brother, but... Jade hangs her head a little, audibly sighing to herself. JADE ...he's still at home recovering from his neck injury. I talk to him about stuff over e-mail and text messages.I instant message him all the time and I'm on his friends list on MySpace. But it's not the same as him being here, ya know, whenever I need some advice to just go down the hall or whatever and talk to him. Which is why the other day I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked and I looked... and then Melody Nerdly showed up and slapped me upside the head and told me to snap out of it. Or, words to that effect. OKERLUND She slapped you!? JADE Yeah. She's got issues. But, the point is, she was right. I can't rely on my brother to help me out all the time. It's time for me to stand on my own two feet and I guess Leon's injury is the excuse to start trying. I've got to sort this out myself, along with Tyler and Shayne of course. The boybanders both nod in agreement. JADE Sooner or later, we're going to get our belts back, for the third time. We're not the Number One Contenders, but we'll be watching very closely when Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly cash in on their title shot. And if PRL and Popick or Heat and Fly think we're done with those belts, then they're, like, totally wrong. OKERLUND Well, of more immediate concern is your match at New Year's Spectacular with Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall. It'll be either a Tag Team Tables Match, a Tag Team Steel Cage Match or a Latino Thug Street Fight. Whatever way the vote goes, you'll be up against the two biggest members of the Lightning Crew, but do you have a preference over which match you'll compete in? JADE Not really. We've got a gameplan ready for each match, so whatever the fans vote for we'll be ready for. Boricua and Wall are the biggest team in terms of weight and height and all that we've ever had to wrestle so obviously we're going to be under a little bit of a disadvantage from the start. They like to throw people around. A couple of bullies. But if they think D*LUX are gonna be afraid, they're wrong. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, right? OKERLUND I believe that's the saying, yes. JADE Then that's what's gonna happen. Nobody's going to give us a hope, but nobody gave us a hope against Christian Wright and Bohemoth. Nobody gave us a hope against The Beverly Hills Blonds. Nobody gave us a hope against The Global Party Exchange. But these guys fought the odds and came out on top those times, so New Year's Day, they're going to try and do the same. Tyler will be Tremendous, it'll be Showtime for Shayne and together, we are going to be better than standard, we'll be above average, infact, they'll be D*LUX!! TYLER YEAH-UH!!! Tyler signs off on the interview and "First To Believe" hits, as the trio head back to whence they came. COLE Jade Rodez and D*LUX with a statement of intent here tonight. And hey, Jade Rodez is on MySpace! COACH MySpace? Lame! COLE *pouts* We cut now to a black and white shot of the OAOAST Corporate Headquarters, and slowly zoom in to see a figure standing on the rooftop. "Bruce Blank, you have made my life a living hell. You have pushed me farther than anyone that came before you. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I am a broken man because of you." The camera circles the rooftop, moving around as it closes in on Zack Malibu staring into the distance over the rim of his sunglasses. "My company has suffered. My family has suffered. My friends have suffered. I cannot forgive you for what you've done, nor can I forgive myself for allowing you to terrorize them all." Suddenly, quick jumpcuts of the most brutal moments in Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank's history flicker across the screen. "You have humiliated me. You have broken me. But you have not beaten me. I have something left. I'm inviting you, Bruce, come and ring in the New Year with me. Mainframe Monday, you'll hear about what I have to offer. My last chance at redemption could be the one chance you've wanted this whole time." The camera quickly zooms back, away from Malibu's stern look, all the way back to its original shot of the OAOAST Headquarters, as the screen breaks down into matrix code, forming this announcement: ZACK MALIBU RETURNS IN 2007~! OAOAST MAINFRAME MONDAY. JANUARY 1st, 2007. Commercial break MARIA Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... BATISTAAAAA!! (off screen) Bohemoth. MARIA ...BOHEMOOOOOTH!! Shaking his head, Bohemoth strides into shot and adjusts his orange shades, 24/7 Title hung over his right shoulder and looking the very model of cool as ever. So much so that Maria freezes up. You know, like, more than usual. BOHEMOTH Uhm... okay. Reject, last week you got the one up on me. But enjoy it while you can. There's nowhere to run on New Year's Day if you want that victory. You've got no partners. It's you, me and Thunderkid, winner takes all. And I intend on paying you back for last week. And Thunderkid? Nothing personal buddy, it's strictly business, but if you get in my way then you'll suffer the same fate. It doesn't matter which title's on the line. Either way, I'M walking out with the gold. Bohemoth glances over his shoulder, where Maria is still motionless. BOHEMOTH Call me. *THUD!* Maria collapses and Bohemoth strolls off, as we go back to ringside.

*THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A lightning bolt hits the entrance stage. "Know Your Role ’99" starts playing, causing the crowd to start booing uproariously. COLE What the--? What’s he doing out here? COACH Who cares? He’s out here and that’s all that matters! The entrance doors slide open, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican appears. The crowd boos some more. PRL is in his wrestling attire and is wearing his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist and carrying his spray-painted black briefcase with his right hand and a microphone in his left hand. PRL smiles evilly, motioning for the crowd to keep on booing him. COLE It looks like PRL’s going to speak. COACH Gee, ya think? PRL stands on the entrance stage smiling. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN CUT MY MUSIC! "Know Your Role ’99" dies down. The fans amp up the booing. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL Now-- "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL The longer you boo, the longer I am going to be out here, so why don’t you know your role, and SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE These fans laying into PRL tonight! THA PUERTO RICAN Now, I told my good friend, Vitamin X, that he was going to get Stacey Robertson. And I am a man of my word! That is why-- "ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!" "ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!" "ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!" "ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!" PRL sneers at the crowd. PRL (CONT’D) That is why, tonight, in our main event, in...this...very...ring, you will see a match that has...a 'unique' stipulation attached to it. In one corner, you will see...Colombian Heat. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL And in the other corner, his opponent will be...the 6’9" 300 pound MR. BORICUA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE What? THA PUERTO RICAN Annnnnddddd...the stipulation for this match is as follows. IF Mr. Boricua beats Colombian Heat, then Colombian Heat’s girlfriend, Stacey Robertson...must spend New Year’s Eve with The Lightning Crew! COLE WHAT!? The fans boo that stipulation. PRL smiles evilly some more. PRL Yup. So, Colombian Heat, good luck 'buddy'. Because if you lose, AND YOU WILL, then your girlfriend, the love of your life, will become PROPERTY of The Lightning Crew for the next four days! And there will be ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! And that’s the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! "Know Your Role ’99" starts up again. The crowd boos. PRL waves goodbye to the fans and then exits through the entrance doors. COLE I don’t believe it! What a stipulation! Stacey Robertson will be up for grabs later tonight in our main event! COACH Why didn’t I think of doing that? COLE Because you touch yourself at night! "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix begins playing. This causes the crowd to stand up and begin booing loudly. A lightning bolt hits the entrance just as the drums kick in. Smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear around the entrance set. After a few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out from the smoke appear "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick, the current HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" P.R. plays his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt like a guitar once again, strumming to the tune of "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)". Stephen Joseph Popick stands on the entrance stage, his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist, and a smirk on his face. He is also carrying PRL’s spray-painted briefcase with the Golden Contract inside. Popick holds his arms out in a crucified position. *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* The crowd boos some more. Stephen turns around and laughs manically, as does P.R. Puerto Rican slings his HI-YAH World Tag Team Title belt over his left shoulder and then high fives Popick. P.R. points to the ring, and together, the team walks down the entrance ramp as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" continues playing. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title match is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit, and is a "Champions Vs. Champions" Match! Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. At a total combined weight of 445 lbs. They are the reigning HI-YAH Tag Team Champions of the Woooorrrrlllllllddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL continues playing his belt like a guitar while Popick holds his head up high, smiling evilly as the two men continue their walk to the ring. COLE PR and Popick wrestling for the last time in the year 2006. And what a year these two men have had. Both men began the year as Champions, Popick the World Heavyweight Champion, P.R. in the midst of his record setting 360-day long 24/7 Title reign. And now they end the year as the current HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, a title they’ve held since November Reign. COACH It has indeed been a great year for these two superstars. Yes, there have been some bad times in there, but 2006 has been quite a year for The Corporate Champ and his "Career Consultant". It will be a year they will never forget! Tha Puerto Rican climbs onto the ring apron. He sneers at the crowd. At the same time, Stephen Joseph climbs the ring steps and scales a turnbuckle with one leg on the top turnbuckle pad. He scans the crowd and smirks. The crowd boos loudly as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix continues playing. Popick hops into the ring and holds the ropes for Tha Puerto Rican to enter. He spins around; soaking in the fans jeers. Puerto then places his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt in front of him and does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. Popick applauds his partner. COLE This has certainly been quite the year for Tha Puerto Rican. The longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history, PRL lost the belt to Leon Rodez at AngleMania V back in April in an incredible Ladder Match. He then started randomly attacking Thunderkid, which begat a personal intense feud between the two that lasted throughout the summer, culminating in a barbaric, brutal "I Quit!" Steel Cage Match that ended when Thunderkid actually CARVED PRL’S FOREHEAD with a piece of a table made into a stake. Then almost immediately following that match, PRL began a feud with the current OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, "Reckless" Drek Stone, which led to a Throw-In-The-Towel Match for the title at World Without End in October. PRL could have won that match if it weren’t for the disgusting act Drek pulled on all of us. And speaking of disgusting acts, PRL and Popick fooled all of us in November when they SCREWED D*LUX out of the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles, which they are wearing right now as we speak! COACH Hey, that wasn’t disgusting, that was brilliant! No one, NO ONE, saw that coming! I have to applaud Tha Puerto Rican for that one. COLE You do that, but I’ll continue being disgusted by that dastardly deed. PRL takes his belt and briefcase and heads over to a second turnbuckle where he raises both items over his head. The crowd boos. P.R. then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his belt and briefcase over his head again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle and raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" a’la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, recieving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the turnbuckle, removes his sunglasses and earring, and chats with Popick. COLE No titles are on the line in this match. This is a matter of pride. For the first time ever, the current HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions will take on the current OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. And considering that neither team is a fan favourite, you have to wonder how these fans will respond to this match! COACH Hopefully, they’ll go crazy for both teams, but I doubt it. COLE I’m pretty sure they won’t, Coach. COACH Dang it. Popick removes his bad ass shades and hands them over to a ringside attendant. PR hands his spray-painted briefcase to the ringside attendant. P.R. and Popick kiss their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts and hand them over to referee Earl Hebner who hands them over to the ringside attendant. P.R. and Popick discuss strategy as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix dies down. P.R. and Popick look to the entrance in their fighting stances, ready to fight while the crowd buzzes in anticipation. COLE The Sooner Bruisers are coming out next. The fans reaction should be interesting to say the least. "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter starts playing over the P.A. system. The crowd boos, but there are some noticeable cheers scattered here and there. The entrance doors slide open and the Sooner Bruisers themselves come out. Some more cheers are heard, but the Bruisers don’t care. They just look straight to the ring, the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts shining around their waist. The OAOAST Tag Team Champs begin their walk down the entrance ramp as "Frankenstein" continues playing. BUFFER And their opponents. From the great state of Oklahoma. At a total combined weight of 535 lbs. They are the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread Tag Team Champions of the Woooorrrrlllllllddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! Big Frank Bruiser. Uber Bruiser. THE SOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEERRRRRRR BRRRRUUUUUUUUIIIISSSSSEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! The Sooner Bruisers continue their walk to the ring. COLE This has been quite the year for the Sooner Bruisers too. They started the year beloved by the fans-- COACH But without any gold. COLE And now they are hated-- COACH But wearing gold. COLE Yes Coach. The Sooner Bruisers didn’t become Champions until AFTER their attitudes changed. But that still doesn’t excuse their actions during the year. Doing beatdowns on Black T and the FORMER Champions, The Heavenly Rockers. Cheating during matches. I thought these guys were models of sportsmanship. Guess I was wrong. COACH You were, but so what? They did what they had to do to get where they are today. They’ve held onto those titles with an iron fist since AngleSlam, and they’re continue to hold onto them as we head into 2007. Yeah, the Heavenly Rockers are gunning for them, but so what? Doesn’t mean a thing. The Sooner Bruisers will beat them once again the next time they meet. COLE And if you’re the Heavenly Rockers, you hope that meeting comes sooner rather than later. The Sooner Bruisers climb onto the ring apron and enter the ring. PRL and Popick get onto the ring apron and watch as The Sooner Bruisers raise their hands in the air to boos. They remove their OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts and hand them over to Earl Hebner, who hands them over to the ringside attendant. COLE Quite a few differences between both teams. The Sooners are brawlers, while Popick is a technical wrestler and PR is more of a high flyer. The Sooners out weigh P.R./Popick by 90 lbs. And both members of the Sooner Bruisers are taller and definitely more muscular than Tha Puerto Rican! And let’s not forget about the flamboyance and the arrogance from P.R. and Popick, while The Sooner Bruisers are all about wrestling, with none of the entertainment aspect. COACH I can’t wait for this match, Cole. I love both teams. They’re both great champions. This is a dream come true for me! COLE It’s a dream come true for some people I bet. Just not anybody in this crowd. Not one man in this match is beloved by the fans, at least not anymore. But that doesn’t bother any of them. They just want to wrestle. COACH And wrestle they shall, like right now! The Sooner Bruisers warm up in a corner, stretching the ropes and running in place. P.R. and Popick stare at their opponents on the ring apron. Finally, Earl Hebner calls for the bell as "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter dies down. *DING DING DING* "Champions Vs. Champions" OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS VS. HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE SOONER BRUISERS (OAOAST World Tag Team Champions) vs. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN AND STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK (HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions) The crowd is hot for the match. P.R. and Popick do "Rock, Paper, Scissors" to decide who goes first. P.R.’s scissors beats Popick’s paper, so Puerto is the first one in. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. high fives Popick and then circles the ring with Uber Bruiser, who is starting for his team. The arrogant Corporate Champ taunts The Psycho Gremlin, who keeps his game face on. COLE Both teams are in the midst of bitter feuds right now, so you have to wonder how much attention they are paying to this match. P.R. and Uber Bruiser lock up. They jockey for position, and then Bruiser shoves PRL onto the mat! And the crowd cheers! COLE Whoa! How about that! The crowd is cheering The Psycho Gremlin! COACH I knew they’d come around. PRL is stunned at what just happened. Big Frank Bruiser yells at P.R.L. which actually spooks him out! Popick tells PR to remain calm and continue wrestling. Puerto Rican and Uber Bruiser circle each other again and lock up. And once again, Uber shoves PRL onto the mat, and once again the crowd cheers! Puerto complains of hair pulling, but Earl Hebner ain’t buying it. P.R. has a Caesar’s haircut for crying out loud! COLE The P.R. Menace is shocked at what’s happened in this match thus far! For a third time, PR and Uber Bruiser circle each other and lock up--NO! PRL kicks Bruiser in the stomach and then grabs a headlock on him. Puerto cinches the hold tight, taunting the Sooner Bruiser. But the taunting ends as Uber Bruiser walks backwards into the ropes and sends PRL into the opposite ropes. He follows with a shoulderblock which knocks the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion down to the mat! COACH I am enjoying this match thus far. PR slowly gets up...and gets hit in the face by Big Frank Bruiser! PRL stumbles around the ring until he ends up in his corner, where he tags in Stephen Joseph Popick. COLE PR ain’t going to win a power match with the Sooner Bruisers. I’ll tell you that much. COACH The high flyer had his shot. Now it’s the technical wrestler’s turn! Popick looks sort of hesitant to enter the ring, but eventually does so. SJP looks to be intimated by the power of The Sooner Bruisers, but tries to hide it by puffing his chest up and making a growling noise. It doesn’t work, obviously. Stephen Joseph Popick heads to a neutral corner and slaps himself in the face repeatedly to get psych up. Popick locks up with Uber Bruiser, and is able to apply a headlock on him. Just like PRL before, Uber Bruiser walks backwards into the ropes and shoots Popick into the opposite ropes where he then gets hit with a shoulderblock! The crowd cheers! COLE It looks like the fans have picked whose side they’re on for this match! COACH I don’t know how I feel about that. It’s so hard to choose between these two teams! Choices. Uber Bruiser screams in Popick’s face. That’s enough to cause the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to get back to his feet. The two men lock up again. Popick gains the advantage by applying an arm-wringer on The Psycho Gremlin. He then clubs the back of Bruiser’s right arm, and then takes him over to his corner where he makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL quickly hops onto the top rope and jumps off with a punch to Uber Bruiser’s right arm! COLE Nice teamwork by PR and Popick! COACH Like McDonald’s, I’m lovin’ it! PRL applies an arm-wringer on Uber Bruiser. He cinches the hold tight. However, Uber Bruiser takes PRL over to the ropes and shoots him off into the opposite ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but PRL holds onto the ropes and slides out of the ring! COLE PRL avoiding contact there. PRL stops to catch his breath on the outside...but not for long as Big Frank Bruiser charges after him and catches him with the Soonerline! COLE OH MY! And what a shot! What a brutal clothesline from one-half of the Sooner Bruisers! COACH Um...boo? Frank Bruiser is not done yet. He picks up Tha Puerto Rican by his head, knocking his Puerto Rican flag bandana off in the process, and hoists him up into a gorilla press slam position. Big Frank Bruiser tosses Tha Puerto Rican through the middle rope into the ring where he gets up, looks at Big Frank, and then gets clotheslined over the top rope and onto the floor by Uber Bruiser! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The force of the clothesline causes PRL to hit the barricade and then do a Flair Flop onto the floor! COLE And The Sooner Bruisers just dominating Tha Puerto Rican right now! COACH It doesn’t matter that there’s no titles on the line. They just want to fight! COLE PRL is on dream street right now! COACH Ooh, I loved that band! PRL crawls around ringside, looking to escape. Stephen Joseph Popick gets off the ring apron and joins up with PR. He just watches as P.R.L. crawls up the entrance ramp. COLE PRL is leaving! He doesn’t want to fight these guys anymore! COACH Well, it’s his choice. He doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t have to. No titles are on the line. COLE But pride is, and it looks like PRL’s pride has been hurt! PRL crawls up the entrance ramp, but Popick stops him by grabbing his tights, showing an unnecessary shot of PRL’s bare ass in the process. Popick helps his friend up and then talks to him, telling him that they have to fight the Sooner Bruisers to prove they are the best tag team in the OAOAST. COLE Popick with some words of wisdom for his friend and tag team partner. COACH Ain’t Popick a great friend? PR whines in that high-pitched voice of his that he doesn’t want to fight anymore, but Popick grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him, ordering him to continue the match! Meanwhile we see an instant replay of PRL holding the ropes, sliding out of the ring, and then getting Soonerlined by Big Frank Bruiser. COLE PR is heading back to ringside, but after what just happened, you can’t really blame him for wanting to leave. COACH Well...yeah. You’re right. This won’t be an easy match for PRL. Puerto taunts a fan at ringside and then heads back into the ring as Popick goes back to the ring apron. P.R. stares at both members of The Sooner Bruisers, who are standing in their corner, sneering at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL sneers back. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN YOU WANT SOME OF THIS!?!? THE SOONER BRUISERS YES!!! PRL Oh...uh...um...Popick, go kick their asses. PR makes the tag to Stephen Joseph. Popick is surprised by this, but enters the ring, staring at Uber Bruiser with determination in his eyes. COACH Popick going for it again! This should be good! Popick and Uber Bruiser lock up--NO! Uber Bruiser kicks Popick in the stomach, and then applies an arm-wringer on him in a bit of payback from earlier. Uber Bruiser pulls on Popick’s left arm, and then makes the tag to Big Frank Bruiser, making his first appearance in the match. The Sooner Bruisers whip Stephen Joseph Popick into the ropes. Uber Bruiser ducks down onto the mat, so that SJP can leap over him...right into a SOONERLINE from Big Frank Bruiser! COLE Soonerline! Popick has just been hit with that tremendous clothesline by Big Frank Bruiser! COACH Boo! I mean, yea! I mean...oh I don’t know! Big Frank smirks at the fallen Popick. He picks the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion up. *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Man Of Tomorrow unleashes a combination of chops and punches on Popick on the ropes. He then applies a wristlock on Stephen Joseph Popick, causing PRL to panic on the ring apron. Bruiser punches Popick in the chest, and then applies a side headlock on him. However, this time it’s Popick who walks backwards into the ropes, shooting Big Frank Bruiser into the opposite ropes. Popick ducks down, so Bruiser jumps over him and into the other ropes--right into a knee to the back from Tha Puerto Rican! COLE What a cheapshot there! Popick follows that up with high angle neckbreaker taking the OAOAST World Tag Team Champion down to the mat! COLE And Popick taking advantage of PRL’s cheating ways with that high angle neckbreaker! COACH That a boy, P.R.! Show these men why you’re the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions! SJP picks Frank Bruiser up by his hair and then takes him over to his corner where PRL is waiting with his left foot stretched out on the top rope. And yes, Popick throws Frank into PRL’s left foot. He then sets Big Frank Bruiser up on the turnbuckle and starts stomping a mudhole in him. Popick chokes Big Frank with his bare hands. This causes Earl Hebner to come in and break things up. While Earl Hebner pulls Popick away from Bruiser and scolds him, PRL uses his own bare hands to choke The Man Of Tomorrow! The crowd boos loudly. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COLE Popick and PRL have not been a tag team for as long as the Sooner Bruisers have, and yet they are wrestling like they’ve been tag team partners their entire lives! COACH They learn fast, P.R. and Popick. They’re fast learners. That’s why they’re already nominated for the 2006 OAOAST Tag Team Of The Year Award despite only teaming regularly for two months! COLE And fans, you can catch the 2006 Angle Awards this Sunday night on TSM! PR’s choking causes Uber Bruiser to enter the ring. And this causes Earl Hebner to go over to him and force him back to his corner. All this does is cause Popick to go over and kick Big Frank in the stomach while PRL continues to choke him! COLE What a double team on Big Frank Bruiser! COACH They’re doing some good old fashioned tag team wrestling, that’s what they’re doing! PRL stops choking Big Frank Bruiser the moment Earl Hebner turns around. Uber Bruiser complains about the choking, but PRL plays innocent, drawing a halo around his head and scolding Uber Bruiser for telling a "lie". Stephen Joseph stomps Frank Bruiser some more, and then makes the tag to Puerto Rican. SJP Irish whips Big Frank Bruiser into the ropes. He then gives him a drop toehold. P.R. then bounces off the ropes, leaps up, and drops down with an elbow drop onto the back of Big Frank Bruiser! COLE That was like a mini-Corporate Elbow Drop, was it not? COACH It sure was. PRL smiles at Uber Bruiser, then spits in his general direction! This brings out Uber Bruiser into the ring. Earl Hebner holds him back while PRL picks Frank up and slams his head on the top turnbuckle pad. PRL then taunts Uber Bruiser, while Stephen Joseph Popick beats on Big Frank Bruiser in the corner. The punches drive Frank Bruiser onto the mat! COLE Like it or not, the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions are in control of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions! COACH I like it. Don’t like the Sooner Bruisers getting beaten, but at least it’s by P.R./Popick. PRL continues taunting Uber Bruiser, acting like he’s his parents, scolding him for telling a "lie". PRL Young man, you know what I say about telling fibs! You should be ashamed of yourself! You’re grounded for a week! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! PR shoves Uber Bruiser, which causes him to enter the ring again! Earl Hebner holds him back while PRL scoots back to his corner, "putting up his dukes" the entire time. Once he’s at his corner, Popick holds Big Frank Bruiser up so that PRL can punch him in the face repeatedly. That stops when Earl Hebner catches the double teaming on Frank. Popick lets go of Frank, so Sooner Bruiser collapses to the mat. Puerto gives Big Frank Bruiser a snapmare takeover and then tags in Stephen Joseph Popick. COLE Popick and PR using the tag team strategy to a ’T’! P.R.L. picks Big Frank up. Popick scales the top rope. Popick launches off the top rope with a bulldog taking The Man Of Tomorrow down! He then makes the cover, hooking Frank’s left leg. 1... 2... KICK OUT! COLE Big Frank not down and out just yet! Popick picks up Big Frank Bruiser by his head. He gives him a wheelbarrow suplex! Popick then picks Big Frank up again and punches him in the face. He then whips him into the HI-YAH Tag Champs corner. Frank hits the turnbuckle sternum first! Frank stumbles out, and Popick grabs him from behind and hits him with a German Suplex! SJP then picks Big Frank up again. He hits him with the X-Factor! COLE That 3-move combo that Popick always does, he did them again! The Wheelbarrow Suplex, the German Suplex, and the X-Factor, and all done in succession! And it looks like the Sooner Bruisers maybe in trouble here! SJP picks up Big Frank once again and sets him up in his and P.R.’s corner. He makes the tag to Puerto. Together, the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions just start pounding on Big Frank Bruiser, ignoring Earl Hebner’s warning. COLE The HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions are in control! And we’ll be right back! PRL and Popick finally stop punching Big Frank Bruiser as we go to commercial break. Commercials We return to HeldDOWN~! with Tha Puerto Rican applying a front facelock on Big Frank Bruiser. COLE Welcome back fans, and the Corporate Champion and his manager have continued to control the Sooner Bruisers in this non-title match-up. The fans actually begin clapping their hands in unison, trying to get the Sooner Bruisers to rally back. Frank starts getting to his feet, causing PRL to worry. Frank finally gets to his feet and goes for an inverted atomic drop, but PRL lands on his feet! Frank tries for the inverted atomic drop again, but PRL once again lands on his feet! Finally, Frank lifts PRL up for the atomic drop...and simply throws him onto the mat! COLE Check out the power of Big Frank Bruiser! PRL clutches his stomach in pain. The crowd cheers. Frank starts to get up, but PRL grabs his legs, forcing him to stop. P.R. gets up himself and takes Frank over to a neutral corner. PRL whips Big Frank Bruiser into the opposite turnbuckle. PRL runs towards him a few seconds later, so when Frank hits the turnbuckle sternum first, PRL bumps into him and gets knocked down! COLE PRL and Big Frank collided! You could hear their heads bumping into each other from right here! Both PR and Big Frank lie on the mat. They both start getting up. The crowd comes to life, rooting for the Sooner Bruiser to make the tag. Big Frank Bruiser starts crawling over to his corner while Tha Puerto Rican continues lying in the center of the ring. COLE Big Frank’s going to do it! COACH HE’S GOING TO DO IT! Big Frank Bruiser uses the second rope to pull himself up. PRL starts crawling over to his corner. COLE This might be the break The Sooner Bruisers need! Big Frank Bruiser jumps a few inches and makes the hot tag to Uber Bruiser! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Here comes The Psycho Gremlin! Once Uber Bruiser is in the ring, he immediately hits PRL with the Soonerline! Popick enters the ring, and he too, gets Soonerlined! PR gets up, so Uber Bruiser gives him the Soonerline again! Popick charges forward, and gets hit with the Soonerline again! Uber Bruiser kicks PRL in the gut and then Irish whips him into the ropes. Powerslam! Uber Bruiser howls to the sky and the fans actually cheer! COLE Hey, wait a second! It’s Cuban Wall! Indeed, the Muscle for The Lightning Crew is walking down the entrance ramp, watching the match with a keen eye. Meanwhile, Uber Bruiser has whipped Stephen Joseph Popick into the ropes and given him a Soonerline! The Psycho Gremlin grabs PRL and then whips him into the ropes--PRL reverses--and Cuban Wall trips Uber Bruiser up! COLE Uh-oh. This isn’t good! Uber Bruiser turns his attention to Cuban Wall, yelling at him and lunging after him. Wall taunts the Sooner Bruiser, which is just what he wanted him to do, so that PRL can attack Uber Bruiser from behind! COLE And PRL laying into Uber Bruiser! However, Uber Bruiser soon fights back and gets into a slugfest with PRL! But that is stopped when Stephen Joseph Popick enters the fray and helps PRL with Uber Bruiser! COACH Popick and PRL are taking on Uber Bruiser! The HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions double team one-half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, punching him repeatedly in the face. But that soon ends as Big Frank Bruiser appears and attacks Popick! COLE We’re all even now! The two teams are going at it! PRL takes on Uber Bruiser. Popick takes on Big Frank Bruiser. The four men slug it out...until Cuban Wall enters the ring and attacks both Sooner Bruisers! COACH So much for being even! Cuban Wall head butts Uber Bruiser and Big Frank Bruiser. The crowd boos. Earl Hebner has no choice but to call for the bell. *DING DING DING* (7:11) COLE No! No! No! Cuban Wall has ended the match! He’s attacking BOTH Sooner Bruisers! COACH Now come on, Wall. You don’t have to do THAT. Come on. Stop. With Cuban Wall having weakened the Sooner Bruisers, PRL and Popick go to work on them. This causes the crowd to boo some more. P.R.L. beats on Big Frank Bruiser, while SJP beats on Uber Bruiser. All hope is lost...until SPANISH FLY runs down the entrance ramp and enters the ring! COLE Spanish Fly! Spanish Fly is here! Spanish Fly is taking on The Lightning Crew and Popick! Spanish Fly punches PR in the face, then punches Popick! He goes back and forth punching both of his mortal enemies. He then punches Cuban Wall a few times for good measure. COACH What is that little pipsqueak doing here? He has no match tonight! COLE But his best friend Colombian Heat does, and he’s supporting him by being here! Spanish Fly’s appearance has allowed the Sooner Bruisers to leave the ring, the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts over their shoulders. As the Sooner Bruisers walk up the entrance ramp, Spanish Fly gets PRL dazed and confused by punching him again and again. Fly then bounces off the ropes, grabs PRL with his legs, goes up, and brings PRL down with the Rube Goldberg bulldog! Spanish Fly then charges after Popick and gives him a hurricarana, which sends him sailing into the second rope! Cuban Wall charges forward with a clothesline, but Spanish Fly ducks, bounces off the ropes, and fires with a front dropkick to Wall’s right knee. He then bounces off the ropes again and hits a front dropkick to Wall’s left knee. Fly then bounces off the ropes a third time and hits Cuban Wall with a front dropkick to the face knocking him down! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Spanish Fly has just taken all three men out! I don’t believe it! COACH Who said he could be out here? Where’s security? The crowd is going nuts! Spanish Fly fires them up some more! He then sees SJP resting on the second rope. The crowd knows exactly what he is thinking. SPANISH FLY 6-1-9! COLE 6-1-9 coming up! Spanish Fly bounces off the rope--NO! Mr. Boricua pulls the top rope down so Spanish Fly goes flying out (no pun intended)! COLE Mr. Boricua is here! And he just pulled Spanish Fly out of the ring! COACH And look who else is here! Vitamin X is here! And he and Mr. Boricua start beating the crap out of Spanish Fly! COLE On the outside, Spanish Fly is being manhandled by two members of The Lightning Crew! COACH Serves him right for trying to interfere in this match! COLE What? The match is over! The bell had already rung when Cuban Wall entered the ring! COACH He was still trying to stick his *mask* where it doesn’t belong! This is his payback! VX and Mr. B severely weaken the masked luchador. Vitamin X whips Spanish Fly into the ring steps which he hits left shoulder first. Mr. Boricua kicks Fly in the face (well, mask) and then picks him up. Vitamin X laughs manically and then smiles evilly. COLE What a brutal shot! The Lightning Crew is beating down on one of the #1 Contenders to PRL and Popick’s HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles! COACH They’re softening him up for the eventual match! They’re making sure Spanish Fly will not be 100% no matter when that match takes place! Great idea! By now, Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Cuban Wall have recovered from Spanish Fly’s attack, so they watch as Vitamin X throws Spanish Fly into the ring. VX and Mr. Boricua follow. Together, the members of The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick do a beatdown on Spanish Fly! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Spanish Fly is not moving! He’s just lying there, taking all this punishment from The Lightning Crew! COACH The Lightning Crew are stomping him into the mat! HA HA! A "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up. Popick and The LC continue laying into Spanish Fly both physically and verbally. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COLE The LC are just decimating Spanish Fly, just like they decimated D*LUX two weeks ago! COACH The Lightning Crew is on a roll! I am loving it! PR orders for The Lightning Crew and Popick to pick Spanish Fly up. Spanish Fly is severely weakened. He is breathing hard and barely able to stand. Still, PRL hooks Fly up...and drives him down to the mat with the Latin Slam! COLE Latin Slam! Latin Slam on Spanish Fly! PRL, Popick, and the rest of The Lightning Crew laugh manically over what they’ve just done. PRL high fives Vitamin X. "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" COACH Chant that all you want. It’s not going to work! Spanish Fly is down! COLE Sad as it is to say, you’re right. Spanish Fly is unconscious. The lights are on, but nobodies home. COACH Spanish Fly has been squished like the annoying pest that he is! Bravo, Lightning Crew, bravo! Stephen Joseph Popick drags Spanish Fly into the center of the ring. Popick tells Vitamin X to go up. Despite being in street clothes, Vitamin X exits the ring and climbs the top rope. Popick and Cuban Wall hold Spanish Fly in place. He positions himself on top...and then leaps off the top rope, hitting Spanish Fly with the Leap Of Faith! COLE Spanish Fly is being dismantled right before our very eyes! Tha Puerto Rican tells Vitamin X, "Not bad." Popick then tells PRL to climb the top rope. P.R. obliges, exiting the ring and climbing the top rope. The crowd stands up and starts booing. PRL removes his left elbow pad, throws it into the crowd, and then positions himself on top. COACH It’s PR’s turn now! Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph Popick hold Spanish Fly in place. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican smiles evilly...and then leaps off the top rope, doing the "Up yours!" hand gesture in mid-air...and hits Spanish Fly with the Corporate Elbow Drop! COLE They’re just like vultures, circling their prey! PRL gets right back up and smirks at Spanish Fly. THA PUERTO RICAN YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HELP YOUR FRIEND NOW! PRL does the "You can’t see me!" hand gesture, and then kicks Fly in the head! COLE PRL has taken Spanish Fly out of the equation. Now Colombian Heat won’t have any backup tonight when he takes on Mr. Boricua! COACH It’s Fly’s own fault for coming out here! He should have just stayed in the back! He had no business appearing right now! COLE You might just be right. Spanish Fly has been taken out. Colombian Heat is in a bad way later tonight! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick gloat over their beatdown. Spanish Fly is knocked out. Vitamin X shouts out, "BOO-YAH~!" for no real reason. The crowd chants, "P.R. SUCKS!" once again. The Lightning Crew and Popick stand in the center of the ring and raise their hands in victory. COLE These men are despicable! Their actions are unfit for professional wrestling! For human beings! "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix starts playing again. EMTs come to check on Spanish Fly. Meanwhile, The Lightning Crew and Popick all engage in a group hug. They gloat some more as EMTs check on Spanish Fly. COLE This is tragic. This is a tragic occurrence. The Lightning Crew has struck again! Spanish Fly will never forget this night! COACH And neither will Colombian Heat, if he loses later on tonight! COLE And he just might. Things are NOT going Colombian Heat’s way now. COACH But they continue going The Lightning Crew’s way! Woo-hoo! 2006 is going to end on a good note for The Lightning Crew! COLE And a bad note for Spanish Fly and quite possibly Colombian Heat! Heat still has to fight Mr. Boricua in our main event, with Stacey Robertson on the line! What’s going to happen in our main event? We’ll be right back! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick continue gloating. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick raise their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts in the air and laugh manically. EMTs check on Spanish Fly as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix continues playing. PRL and Popick laugh evilly as we go to a commercial break. Commercials

And now OAOAST BACKTRACKER...presented by Something or Another: "Use Your Imagination!" This has been OAOAST BACKTRACKER, bought to you by Something or Another: "Use Your Imagination!" MEAN GENE Back live on TSM. Gene Okerlund wishing you and your family a joyous holiday season. And a joyous occasion it was last week when Holly-Wood made her long awaited return after months away from the spotlight to recooperate both mentally and physically from the pain dealt at the hands of the current OAOAST tag team champions of the world, the Sooner Bruisers. I say current because live New Year's night the tag titles will be on the line as the champions defend against 5 other teams in a match to be determined by you, the wrestling fans, at OAOAST-dot-com. What will it be? a) Over The Top Rope Battle Royal b) Triple Chance Battle Royal c) Tag Team Turmoil Match (For dramatic effect only) The Synthmeister comes flying into view stoned out of his mind, followed by Logan Mann and his wife Holly, arm and arm, snuggling up to one another. GENE Two men who couldn't care less about the outcome -- they just want their hands on the Man of Tomorrow and Psycho Gremlin -- Synth and Logan, the Heavenly Rockers, and yes, Holly-Wood come on in. I know you're ready for Monday Mainframe, the big spectacular New Year's night. SYNTH A New Year's rockin' night! LOGAN Reunited and it feels so good! The Heavenly Rockers flying high once again with the wind beneath our wings, the Angel of Death herself, back on the road with the greatest rock n' wrestling band of all time and your next World tag team champions. Battle royal, triple chance or tag team turmoil -- pick your poison! It doesn't matter what type of match we're in so long as we're in. There were only 2 things the Synthmeister and I wanted for Christmas. One was Holly-Wood back at our side and the other was a shot at the tag team titles and the Sooner Bruisers. Guess what, "Mean" Gene Okerlund? The Heavenly Rockers have been good boys this year because we got 'em both! HOLLY You got what you wanted, didn't you, Bruisers? When you, two All-Americans in college, couldn't bully my boys with your amatuer skills you decided to sink to the lowest level to gain a psychological advantage by bullying me. Flattering, heh. But you forgot one thing: I'm one tough bitch! And this bitch doesn't give a damn about breaking a nail or twisting an ankle. This bitch wants blood. Your blood. I wanna rip your balls out of your sacks and eat 'em for breakfeast. I wanna use your balls as a chew toy for my dog. I wanna use your balls to hang on my tree next Christmas. In case you couldn't tell, I didn't get anything for Christmas this year because I'm a lifetime member of the naughty list. Good thing Santa doesn't judge by what goes on after the lights are off because Logan would be on the naughty list too. LOGAN Anal sex...I like it! SYNTH Believe me, he does. Ah started his porn collection. It won't be the only thing the Synthmeister'll be startin'. Monday Mainframe, the New Year's Spectacular as it's being called, the Heavenly Rockers will be startin' a rumble with 5 other teams even if it's not actually a battle royal, know what I mean. We're gonna kick it the only way us rock stars know how, like a drunken binge in our hotel room. We're gonna crazy, crazy on you!!! LOGAN Monday Mainframe, the Heavenly Rockers new tag team champions of the world sayeth Logan Usher Mann! GENE Yes siree. The Heavenly Rockers are ready for the New Year and I'm ready for a drink. Back to the ring or back to the back. You never know around here. *Cut to another part of backstage* JOSH J. Math here with you backstage on HeldDOWN~!, this time talking with "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez about his upcoming battle against one of the three Hooligans at Mainframe Monday. We're not gonna know which Hooligan Todd will be taking on until match time, which means neither will you. Your thoughts? CORTEZ My thoughts? Listen here. First off, what's with your little "Hi guys, this is J. Math!" intro? You're like Hooligan-lite with the way you think you're somethin' you're not. What, Josh Matthews got a tag name now? I suppose next you're gonna tell me you know what it's like on the streets too, right? JOSH Actually, no... CORTEZ No, you weren't. If you were, you'd be lyin'. Just like those Hooligans are lyin'. All they are are personalities, images, poster boys created by the marketing machine here at the OAOAST. For God's sake, O'Hara's an ENGLISHMAN, and he's tryin' to pull rank on ME, saying he knows what street life is like? Let me ask you this, Josh. You ever have to cram eight people in a two bedroom apartment? You ever have to wear hand-me downs from your brother, that were still too big, because your mama couldn't afford to get you new clothes? Or let me dig a little deeper...you ever have to sleep away from the windows, in case a bullet came flying through? You ever run home from school because if you were on the street for too long, you might get caught up in a drive-by? Or maybe, just maybe you know what it's like to lose a loved one, have them taken from you from some scum of the earth bastard whose main goal in life is to see how much junk he can snort up his nose!? JOSH I...I... CORTEZ No, you HAVEN'T, have you? Damn overpriveleged, spoiled white boys that think a name and a costume and a catchphrase makes them street. I AM THE STREET. I lived the life, and you know what, I used to be afraid to admit it. I used to be embarrassed, but now, I embrace it, and I'll be damned if those three scrawny punks are gonna make a living and earn a rep pretending to be "REAL" as they put it, when they're nothing but frauds. So you people at home, you click on your computers, and you find me the perfect match for Mainframe Monday. Send one of those Hooligans my way. Just remember, before you click that button, you're just sending them to their execution! With that, Cortez shoves Josh Matthews down, storming away and piefacing the camera, leaving a flustered Josh to cut away to our next segment. (BACK TO SC) COLE Well Coach, you’re not going to believe who we will be hearing from next. COACH Damaramu!! COLE ….no. It seems, earlier today, a videotape was anonymously dropped off at the OAOAST Towers. There was no sign of who left the tape or why…instead, it was just placed right on the doorstep, waiting to be found. On that tape? Why, none other than Drek Stone. COACH My boy!! COLE Right. The Heavyweight Champion that has abruptly taken a hiatus from the OAOAST for the past month. The fighting champion that, instead of defending his gold, has been casually resting and drinking strawberry daiquiris the past month. COACH Strawberry daiquiris…ridiculous. I can assure you Drek Stone is not into chick drinks. Vodka, straight up from the bottle, is how we do! COLE You’re missing the point here. Coach, Drek has always felt he was better than everybody else. That much is true. But he has reached a new height of absurdity now. He doesn’t show up at any of the house shows. He doesn’t show up at any HeldDowns. Hell, once the Board of Directors cleared him from competing in the Triple Cage match at November Reign, he skipped the Pay-Per-View entirely! The primary spokesperson for the OAOAST…and he refuses to come to the shows! And now, you see this. He has somebody just dump this videotape on the doorstep. He doesn’t have the courtesy to have them hand off the tape to an associate instead. God forbid he come and do it himself. And this is supposed to be enough to clear him from his actions this month? It’s ridiculous. COACH Hey, excuse me Cole. Take off the cowboy boots and get off your high horse for a second. You’re forgetting that Drek Stone has agreed to make an appearance at Mainframe Monday coming up next week. Better than that, he’s going to be defending the title…against one of three opponents that will remain a mystery until we get to that night! You can’t criticize the man for not defending the title when he’s going to be doing so in only a matter of days! COLE Well, where has he been the past month?! COACH It doesn’t matter! For all you know, he is just now fully recuperated from that Towel Match with PRL! What does matter is that he has a videotape he wants us all to watch and you’ve condemned the man before he’s had a chance to explain himself! Why don’t you listen to him before you read the riot act? COLE Sure, whatever. Let’s see what our glorious Heavyweight Champion has to say. Roll the footage. The scene opens to catch a wonderful vision of the spectacularly lit Rockefeller Christmas Tree proudly displayed in midtown New York City. Adorned in colorful lights and displayed in all its glory, the massive tree glitters in the chilly winter night as awed onlookers glance up at the gigantic holiday monument. After a few moments, the camera glimpses downwards to capture some of the excited holiday revelers ice-skating around the Rockefeller Ice Rink, some doing figure-eights and others taking an embarrassing fall on the ice, but all enjoying themselves nevertheless. It’s a fantastic depiction of the Christmas season in New York City and it just warms the heart. Of course, that warmness turns frigid only a moment later as Drek Stone steps in front of the camera, bundled up in a smooth leather coat. Exhaling a deep breath and letting the mist partially fog up the camera lens, Drek adjusts the sparkling Heavyweight Title around his shoulder, making sure it’s fully displayed in front of the camera. DREK Oh, I know you all missed me. I know you all have been sitting home the past month, wondering where I’ve disappeared to and whether I was ever coming back. Whether I had just decided life was too busy for me again and, on the totem pole of priorities, the OAOAST was dead last. I know some OAOAST fans and stockholders were nervously biting their nails, asking if I was going to pull a Hoff and just give up my gold without ever losing it in the ring. Well, to all of you, I simply need to say…chill. That’s it. Just chill. Drek walks over to the Rockefeller Tree and makes sure to stand directly in front so that the rest of his message is aided by the enormous tree in the background. DREK First off, if you think I would ever willingly give up this belt, you’re out of your mind. Why would I want to give up a prize that fully establishes just how much better I am than everybody else? If I could, I would take this gold to the grave with me. Not because I respect the OAOAST, but because I respect what the title has done for my reputation. With this, I become more marketable and more successful than I am without it. It’s the most powerful steppingstone I’ve ever seen. And to think that I would give up the gold without having it torn out of my hands is just craziness. Hoff doesn’t have the grand visions I do, so he never had this same belief. He never wanted to be the worldwide powerhouse and household name that I do. He doesn’t care about the fame, the glory, the riches, the women. That’s fine for him, but Hoff and I are two different cats. I’ll readily admit I’m a shallow son of a bitch. The more material goods I can get, the happier I’ll be, and this title is a pawn in helping me accomplish that. I could care less if the past wrestling greats like Anglesault and Zack Malibu held the belt. I just care about what the belt can do for me and what it can help me accomplish. And if that pisses off some of the guys in the back or some of the fans watching that I don’t respect this sport and its history and blah-blah-blah, it doesn’t matter. Not in the slighest. All that should matter is that I will never relinquish this belt readily, so I hope I eased some tension on that front at the very least. DREK Now, let me address the second matter. Where have I been the past month? Well, to put it plainly, I was busy. There were certain things I needed to handle myself. Two months ago, the very talented director Steven Soderbergh came to me with a role in mind for his upcoming blockbuster film Ocean’s Thirteen. Now any idiot can see that an acting gig of this prominence takes precedent over any mere wrestling match. Think about it. Hanging out with the likes of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta Jones…or sharing a locker room with Bruce Blank and Stephen Popick? Now I’m not going to say the role is going to win me an Oscar. I mean, if the Academy becomes so won over by my performance that they throw me a Best Supporting Actor nomination, then I’ll be thrilled, I’ll admit. But from the second that Steven…yes, we’re on a first name basis now ever since I stayed a week at his summer home in Palermo…from the second he approached me with this gig, there was no way I couldn’t do it. I’ve been used and abused in the OAOAST since I came back. Bill Watts decides to use me as a guinea pig for his sick ideas and thinks I’m just going to take the abuse. Triple Cage match, huh Bill? Well, who got the last laugh, buddy. I wined and dined with the biggest celebrities in the world for a month and you were humiliated on an international platform when you couldn’t deliver the title match you promised at November Reign! By now, Drek’s face is turning a darker tint of red – both from the cold and his anger. DREK Bill, you really thought the Board of Directors was going to nix my involvement in this film? You REALLY thought they were going to say “Hey Drek, we know you can get us some real media exposure if you do this movie…but BILL WATTS is more important”?! Are you out of your mind?! They were chomping at the bit for me doing this. If I could get Matt Damon to come to HeldDown one night and fight Tha Puerto Rican, I think they’d wet their pants in excitement. I’ve got Hollywood clout now, and you really think they were going to dismiss that clout for some no-nothing southern redneck whose career achievement has been tipping over nine cows in one night? So this is what I’ve been doing. And for all of you who think that, once again, I disrespected the federation and this title, you need to get over it. If I have the chance again, if Martin Scorsese comes over and needs me for Goodfellas II or James Cameron offers me the starring role in Titanic 2: Electric Boogaloo, you better believe I’ll be there. Title or no title. Because this stuff IS good for the OAOAST…and most importantly, it’s good for me. DREK But you see, not to worry. I’m not totally giving up my responsibilities as the Heavyweight Champion. Because in four days from now, the first-ever Mainframe Monday is going to be hitting televisions around the world. And yours truly is going to be competing in the Main Event…against one of three people. Of course, I’m not even going to mention how once again Bill Watts is trying to stick it to me by not telling me of my opponent until I walk out to the ring. I think it has been fully established the sick conspiracy he has against me. Instead, I’m going to focus on the three guys I’ve been placed against. I’ll admit, I haven’t watched much OAOAST programming the past month…I mean, come on, how many times is Alfdogg going to mock the hometown sports team before he gives it a rest…but I have caught bits and pieces. DREK For example, I know that CWM hasn’t showed his face in the OAOAST in about fifteen years at this point. His inclusion in this match just smacks of desperation. Bill trying to drum up some past OAOAST fans by indicating that this has-been could be taking part in the Heavyweight Title match. Unfortunately for Watts, I don’t see CWM even making it to the arena. Seriously now, the man can’t read! How is he going to make it to the arena if he can’t even grasp the English language? Folks, I don’t know how much backstage news you’re aware of, but the inanities that have come out of his mouth are amazing. He’s Miss Smackdown? When he was a dog, his dog ate his dad’s wedding ring? People, he got rejected by McDonalds! He couldn’t get a job at McDonalds! And YOU THINK he’s going to be able to make it to the show by himself? He’ll wind up in damned Abu Dhabi before he ever finds the arena by himself. And his intelligence aside, the man is finished in the ring. The last time he fought, he and Some Guy were dueling it out in a captivating legends match that, I swear to God, seemed like it was moving in slow motion. Don’t get me wrong, CWM. It was thrilling the way you were able to weakly limp across the ring at the speed of light so many months ago, but I think you need to hang up the boots now. Because, if you don’t, you will become another victim. I will end your livelihood like I ended the livelihood of the crippled AJ Flaire when I gave him that spinebuster through the steel chair. Folks, if you really are sadistic, you’re going to select CWM as my opponent for Mainframe Monday. Go ahead, I dare you. DREK Now, moving on. We come to the Present wrestler himself, Tony Brannigan. Ah Tony. We have quite the impressive history with one another at this point. You and Dan Black ruined my grand return at AngleMania V. To counter, I decimated you at Living Anglelously and quite easily earned the three count. Oh, and then after that, Hoff and I defeated you and Dan in the steel cage match at Syndicated. Uh huh, and months afterwards, I took you out with a Stonecutter on the arena floor at World Without End and busted your head wide open. Come to think of it, man, I’ve really exposed you as a loser, haven’t I? For the one time you got over on me, I’ve done it time and time again against you. Every single time we’ve fought and battled though, and I’m going to be honest here, you haven’t impressed me at all. To go even further, you haven’t showed me a damn thing. First off, you’re an amazing underachiever. Been fighting in the OAOAST so long that your nickname is Gramps, and all you have is a three week Heavyweight Title reign to show for it. Secondly, every time we fight, you crumble easily at the first sign of trouble. You pretend as though you’re some big, bad, muscular wolf…but you have no heart. You have no spirit. I swing once and you fall like a sack of potatoes. It’s been a common theme throughout your career. When the going gets tough, you fold! You’re unable to handle the pressure! You always have been! So why YOU THINK you deserve a Heavyweight Title shot is beyond me. You’ve been hounding me for months now wanting this gold. Why?! Why do you want a shot?! Why do you want to waste your time when you’re just going to fall apart again? Go ahead, folks. Throw away your vote and cast a choice for Tony Brannigan – the Ralph Nader of the OAOAST elections. I want to finally get him off my back and show him, once and for all, that he does not deserve to compete in the same ring that I do. I’m a worldwide superstar…and you’re the solid but unspectacular wrestler destined for mediocrity. So ladies and gentlemen, if you want Tony Brannigan, make sure to choose Selection #2. DREK Finally, we come to the last choice. The only one of the three who, I’ll admit, has definitely captured my eye as a worthy opponent…Landon Maddix. Now Landon, I don’t know much about you. I haven’t really had much interaction with you in the OAOAST yet, but you seem like a bright kid. You’re a talented athlete who may actually have a good future ahead of you. But I think it’s important that you remember your damn place in this company. Because, and correct me if I’m wrong now, I’m beginning to get the impression that since my hiatus from the OAOAST, you have began pretending…like you’re me. Cheating to win? Insulting Tony Brannigan? This is stuff I do. Talking up one’s accomplishments and mocking the shortcomings of everybody else? That is my personality exemplified. Abusing the crowd? You better realize that’s my routine, buddy. Landon, call me paranoid, but I’m getting the impression that you WANT to be Drek Stone…and I have a major problem with that. Because nobody can be who I am. Nobody can come CLOSE to being who I am. And if you continue on the path you are now, I may have to show you that firsthand. The OAOAST does NOT revolve around you and your whole band of Wildcards. Zack may not have been man enough to split you all apart and demonstrate to each and every one of you that you guys from the Misfit Land of Toys ain’t as big or bad as you think you are. Well, believe me, I won’t have that problem. Landon, you may have been a big fish in the SWF, but you’re not anymore. Everything in this federation REVOLVES around me and it has since I’ve made my debut. You need to learn how to respect that principle and then maybe, just maybe, we’ll have an understanding. But if you keep rubbing me the wrong way, if you keep acting as though YOU’RE the top guy around here…if you keep this act of WANNABE DREK STONE…then I am making the promise that I WILL DO what Zack could not. Step your ass into line, Maddix. You’re a supporting character here, not the main star, and I’ll be damned if you try to make a name for yourself while I’m still here. Kid, you’re talented, but you’re entering a dangerous zone here. Folks, if you want to see how I might handle a talented but misled superstar like Landon Maddix, pick Choice 3. Drek Stone and Landon Maddix have never even been in the same ring before…but you can make it happen at Mainframe Monday. DREK Okay, well, that’s it. I’m going to be seeing one of these three guys in only four days…and man, am I excited. Drek Stone making his in-ring return once again at Mainframe Monday! Who’s going to get the enviable job of being pinned one-two-three or…maybe even better…tapping his hand against the mat? Will it be The Past: CWM, The Present: Tony Brannigan, or The Future: Landon Maddix? Only time will tell. And even more importantly…Ocean’s Thirteen coming to you June 8th, 2007! Buy your tickets on Fandango today and avoid the rush! Good night, ladies and gentlemen, and have a great holiday! With a grin, Drek Stone stares up into the air at the spectacular tree before him as the faint sounds of Jingle Bells can be heard in the distance. The camera peels up to capture the star adorned at the top of the tree as the picture slowly fades to black. COLE Well, Drek clearly hasn’t lost any arrogance since he last appeared here. COACH If I had a damn outlet for this laptop, I could pre-order my tickets now! Ocean’s Thirteen, Michael! Didn’t you hear the news?! COLE Yeah, well, he better just get himself ready for Mainframe Monday. Because, and maybe this is just me, but Drek was looking a little soft there. Like he hasn’t worked out in a few weeks…. COACH Nope, just you. Drek’s looking as fit and ready as ever! What the hell is wrong with you, Cole? That’s just disrespectful! COLE That’s disrespectful? Did you hear his comments about the Heavyweight belt?! About the history of this company? Did you hear him talk about how he could care less about this sport?! You’re going to say what I said was disrespectful?! Drek’s comments were downright disgusting! COACH What are you babbling about, Cole? You’re going to be able to see a movie with George Clooney and Brad Pitt and claim it’s simply for professional purposes. You should be thrilled, I would think. COLE Don’t forget Matt Damon too!! Anyway, folks, you still have four more days to make your selection for Mainframe Monday! CWM, Tony Brannigan, or Landon Maddix?! Who will fight for the title against Drek Stone? The choice is yours! Back with more in a bit. The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where Vitamin X is ranting and waving to a calm PRL, who is holding his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd boos as The LC watches VX rant. PRL’s black spray-painted briefcase sits on the coffee table. VITAMIN X I don’t believe it. I DON’T BELIEVE IT! HOW COULD HE DO THAT!? HOW COULD HE!? I can’t--I can’t take it anymore. I can’t deal with Colombian HACK ANYMORE! I am going to get Stacey Robertson! She is going to be with me if it’s THE LAST THING I DO! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Wow. That sucks that he did that. VX You gotta do something, P.R. You gotta help me get her! You gotta help me get Stacey Robertson! THA PUERTO RICAN You want me to help you get Stacey? VX Yeah. PRL You want me to help you win Stacey Robertson’s heart? VX Yes! Please! PRL thinks this over. He even puts his right hand under his chin for added measure. PRL Hmmmmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmm. I think I’ve got an idea on how to help you with your romantic problem, X. VX You do? PRL Yeah. It’s going to piss off Colombian Heat, that’s for certain. Not that I have a problem with doing *THAT*. HAHAHAHA! VITAMIN X Really? Wow, gee, thanks PR. It’s much appreciated! PRL Hey, anytime. I’ll tell you what it is later. VITAMIN X Okay. Thanks. Thanks alot! PRL No problem. Vitamin X high fives PRL and then leaves The Lightning Crew dressing room. PRL watches him leave. PRL Cuban Wall, can I talk to you for a second? CUBAN WALL What? Oh, sure boss. Tha Puerto Rican closes the door to the dressing room. He puts his right arm around Cuban Wall’s shoulders (or atleast tries to). PRL Ahem. Now, Cuban Wall, sometimes I wonder why we hang out. I mean, we really don’t have anything in common with each other. I mean, I’m a man full of love, while you’re a man full of hate. CUBAN WALL That’s not true. I don’t hate alot of things! PRL Oh yeah? Then tell me, Wall, what exactly *do* you hate? CUBAN WALL Well, I hate Colombian Heat. Spinach. Rap music. MySpace. MTV. Comic books. Reality TV. Hippies. Democrats. Liberals. Oh hell, they’re all the same thing! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Ha ha! CUBAN WALL The NBA. Cartoons. Christmas. Horoscopes. The WWE. TNA. ECW. iPods. Puppies. Kittens. Bunnies. THOMAS Bunnies!? How could you hate bunnies!? WALL Bunnies are only good for shooting practice, my friend. Thomas is disgusted by this comment. CUBAN WALL The internet. Hot Topic. Movies these days. Rising gas prices. Howard Dean. Those plastic CD covers that are impossible to open! PRL Uh...let’s stop there, or else we’ll be here all day. Let’s make things easier, Wall. What things *do* you like? WALL Well, I like kicking ass. Hunting. Drinking beer. Women. Heavy Metal. Ummm, did I say kicking ass already? THA PUERTO RICAN Yes you did. CUBAN WALL Oh. Ummm...uh...err....wow. I guess you’re right. PRL See! You see? I AM right! You hate pretty much everything! But the reason I hang out with you is BECAUSE of that hatred! It's because you can kick ass like no other big man can! You can destroy anything you touch! Which is why that is important going into your match against D*SUX at Mainframe Monday! I need you to take all that hatred, all that negative energy you have for life itself, and I want you to use it on D*LUX! I want you to use all the negative energy, all the negative, hateful fiber in your body, and I want you--I want you to DESTROY D*LUX! No matter what match the fans choose, be it a Steel Cage Match, a Tables Match, or a Latino Thug Street Fight, I want you to go in there and ANILIATE D*LUX ONCE AND FOR ALL! Cuban Wall cracks his knuckles and smiles when he hears this. CUBAN WALL Yeah. Yeah. I know what you want, boss. PRL Good. So, will you do this for me? Will you destroy D*LUX at Mainframe Monday for Tha Puerto Rican? CUBAN WALL Yes! PRL Will you crush D*LUX, and break every bone in their bodies? CUBAN WALL YES! PRL WILL YOU MAKE SURE D*LUX NEVER CHALLENGES ME AND POPICK FOR THE HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES? CUBAN WALL YES!!! PRL AND CAN YOU GO TO THE SODA MACHINE AND GET ME A BOTTLE OF WATER!?!? CUBAN WALL YES!!!!!!!!!!!! PRL YES! YOU AND MR. BORICUA SHALL DESTROY D*LUX AT MAINFRAME MONDAY! CUBAN WALL YES! YES WE WILL!!! PRL EXCELLENT! NOW GO AND GET ME A BOTTLE OF WATER! PRL hands Cuban Wall a dollar. Cuban Wall yells some more as he puts the dollar in his left vest pocket. Wall then punches himself in the head. CUBAN WALL LET’S DO IT! Cuban Wall yells some more as he opens the door and heads to the soda machine to get PRL a bottle of water. Wall can be heard yelling all the way from The Lightning Crew dressing room. PRL smiles evilly as he sees Wall walk to the soda machine. The crowd boos. THA PUERTO RICAN God, I love my job! COLE Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall will take on D*LUX in either a Tag Team Tables Match, a Steel Cage Match, or a Latino Thug Street Fight this Monday night at OAOAST New Year’s Spectacular: Mainframe Monday! Vote now! Commercial break

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B-O-O-M~! Spotlights cut through the smoke of the opening pyro and sweep over the capacity crowd in Calgary (dramatic pause), Alberta, Canada as we get set for the final HeldDOWN of 2006! We sweep around the arena which is awash in cardboard signs and many happy people who found shiny new OAOAST merchandise under their trees. We SWOOP~! over to Sofa Central and your hosts for the evening. COLE We are smack in the middle of the holiday season and tonight, we say goodbye to 2006 as we are here in Calgary, Alberta, Canada for the final HeldDOWN of the year! Hello everyone, Michael Cole here hoping that you all enjoyed the Christmas holiday and Boxing Day here in Canada. COACH I don't get it. I got here on Tuesday, but I didn't see people in trunks wearing leather gloves and beating the crap out of each other in the streets. COLE Maybe you were in the wrong neighborhood, Jonathan. COACH Yeah, maybe. COLE Wow..... Anyway, tonight, we're looking toward the future and our first ever interactive show this New Year's Day, Mainframe Monday. COACH I sense a lot of promos tonight. COLE That's true, but we also have some matches for you, including a non-title "Champions vs. Champions" match which pits the OAOAST World Tag Team champions, The Sooner Bruisers against the HI-YAH Tag Team champions, Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph. I don't know if this is the first time something like this has taken place, but it is very rare. COACH Like you finding someone to kiss at Midnight on New Year's Eve. COLE I......ok, that was a good one. Let's go to the ring to kick it off. We go up into the ring where Michael Buffer is ready to introduce the opening contest. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, introducing first from the great state of Texas Whoooo-eo-oe-oooooooh! Whua-whua-whuaaaaaaa MICHAEL BUFFER Weighing in at a lean, mean 267 pounds – with the Texas Twister, here is BARON WINDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! The crowd gives both of the Lone Star Gunslingers a warm welcome as they step into the arena. Whoooo-eo-oe-oooooooh! Whua-whua-whuaaaaaaa COLE Baron Windels told me before the match that he learned a lot about Wolfenstein by being ringside last week COACH Yeah like not getting in his way! COLE James Wolfenstein has been mowing the opposition down until now, but Windels isn’t going to take him lightly, not after last week. COACH He better not or he’ll end up as just another statistic for the Lone Wolf. DENG-DENG-DENGDENG!! WO! HA! WOHA!! The two Gunslingers leap up on the apron, exchanging a high five before Baron Windels enters the ring, ready to face the man that put Jock Mulligan away last week. MICHAEL BUFFER And his opponent! From Dayton, O-HIO!! Here is “The Lone Wolf!!” James WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLFENSTEIN!!! ”War without end No remorse No repent We don't care what it meant” The Lone Wolf doesn’t elicit a totally positive reaction this week, almost getting into it with Baron Windels after the match last week has put a big question mark over where the young man’s allegiances really lie. Not that he seems to really care, he walks out with the same focused intense look on his face, a look that says “Get out of my way because I’m about to kick some ass” COLE This kid made his debut a few weeks ago and I must admit I’m impressed COACH You keep claiming he’s a rookie Cole but I don’t believe it. COLE Why not? COACH He’s too … I dunno it’s just that he seems very confident in the ring, like it’s not foreign to him at all. ”Another day Another death Another sorrow Another breath No remorse No repent” Jock Mulligan steps in James’ way as the Lone Wolf is on his way to the ring. Wolfenstein looks up and just stares at the Gunslinger as the Texas Twister warns him of what’s about to go down in the ring. After standing there patiently for a couple of moments Wolfenstein finally reacts by balling up his right fist and then driving it straight into Jock’s jaw *POWii* The blow connects perfectly and knocks the Gunslinger down on his ass much to the surprise of the crowd COACH Whoa! I think he just knocked Jock the F*ck out! Wolfenstein doesn’t even spare the KO’ed Jock a second glance before sliding into the ring and RIGHT INTO A BIONIC ELBOW FROM BARON WINDELS!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! The elbow finds it’s intended target and then strikes Wolfenstein once more driving the rookie into the ropes. Just when James thinks he’s going to receive another bionic elbow Baron Windels changes it up and lands a Big Boot that knocks the Lone Wolf over the top rope and sends him slumping down onto the apron of the ring. COACH The Baron has got him right where he wants him, knocking Jock down was probably his BIGGEST mistake, cause it pissed off the big Baron! COLE Those Bionic elbows could hurt an elephant! I can only imagine how Wolfenstein is feeling right now. The crowd cheers as Baron Windels grabs Wolfenstein by the head, pulls him to his feet and then suplexes the Lone Wolf over the top rope and back into the ring. With everything going his way the Baron throws everyone a quick “Gun” handsignal before heading to the top rope. COLE Windels is signalling for that big lariat of his!! This could be over in a flash – experience will win out! James staggers to his feet, at first with his back turned to the corner where Baron Windels is waiting, but the moment he turns around he gets a facefull of Baron *BAM!!* COACH HOLY CRAP!! He managed to turn the top rope Lariat into a belly to belly Suplex!! Wolfenstein doesn’t let go of his hold on the Gunslinger either as he locks his hands behind the Baron’s back and then lifts him off the canvas once more, powering him up and over with another belly-to-belly suplex, a feat of power he repeats by picking Baron Windels up for a THIRD CONSECUTIVE Belly-to-Belly suplex COLE Look at that! Look at that power Coach! COACH There!! I knew it! Coach almost leaps out of his chair in excitement when James Wolfenstein clenches both his fists and takes a wide boxing / shoot fighting stance waiting for Baron Windels to get back to his feet COACH I knew he was a trained fighter! It’s obvious COLE It’s just a defensive stance Coach COACH Yeah one that looks like it’s second nature to him. James Wolfenstein seems to be working on pure instinct as he launches another assault on Baron Windels kicking him upside the head with a stiff roundhouse kick and then following up with two quick elbows to the short ribs of the Gunslinger. The force of the kick and the knees drives Windels into the corner where James Wolfenstein starts to wail away on his opponent with all the ferociousness of his namesake the Wolf. One blow after the other rains down over Baron Windels’ neck, shoulders and ribs as James Wolfenstein takes control of the match. COACH Jock is back! Mulligan has recovered from the devastating blow James Wolfenstein dealt him earlier and has jumped up on the apron to admonish the referee for not having the courage to push Wolfenstein out of the corner. Wolfenstein runs at Jock trying to clothesline him off the apron but the Texas Twister ducks under the arm escaping without any harm. The momentary break is all Baron Windels needs as he jumps James from behind with a lariat of his own. James blocks it with a back kick, then quickly spins under the Baron’s outstretched arm, wraps it around his neck and then raises the Lone Star Gunslinger high up in the air for the… BACKDROP DRIVER!!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! The crowd is shocked by the viciousness of the move and the angle of Baron Windels’ neck hitting the canvas as James Wolfenstein hits his finishing move and then quickly gets on top for the academic count ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! *DING*DING*DING* MICHAEL BUFFER The winner of the match “The Lone Wolf” JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEES WOLFENSTEIN!!! Wolfenstein gets to his feet the moment Jock enters the ring, putting up his fists to protect himself but then relaxes as he sees Jock going over to check on his partner instead of getting in James Wolfenstein’s face. COLE Wolfenstein wins another one COACH Yeah the *wink*wink* rookie wins, I’m sorry but there is no way this guy is a rookie. Let's throw it to Josh! *CUT BACKSTAGE* JOSH MATTHEWS Hey, Josh Matthews here and we are all looking forward to OAOAST New Year's Spectacular, this year subtitled Mainframe Monday. You the fans get to vote for what you want to see on New Year's Day, including what type of match six teams will compete in over the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships. And at the time I want to bring in one of those teams, Rescue 911. Straight from the OAOAST First Responders Unit, EMT Tim Cash and Officer Tango Bosley appear with beaming smiles on their faces. The two nice guys stand either side of Josh, smiling away in the contentment of a law abiding life. MATTHEWS Guys, this is a big opportunity for you, challenging for the World Tag Team Titles for the first time. You must be excited. EMT TIM That's right Mr. Matthews. You know, when we debuted here in the OAOAST, we came up against the current World Tag Team Champions The Sooner Bruisers and they gave us the fight of our lives. But we've come a long way since then. We took the punishment they handed out on that night and we, like any good rookie, learnt from it. We took great experience from being in the ring with excellent athletes like Frank and Uber Bruiser. And now, we hope we can compete with those great athletes on New Year's Day. OFFICER BOSLEY You know, that's right Tim. It's an honour for Rescue 911 to be in this match at Mainframe Monday, to be competing with the finest teams in the OAOAST. And it's all down to the fans. The fans who've supported myself and Tim, giving us the courage and the fortitude to compete week in and week out. You great fans have spurred us on to better ourselves since our debut and I'm sure they'll be spurring us on in Daytona Beach, towards those OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. And we hope we can do you all justice with our performance. MATTHEWS Now, obviously we're in the midst of the Holiday Season. How have you been celebrating this year? OFFICER BOSLEY Well, the Holiday Season has been a busy one down at the OAOAST First Responders Unit. We live by three basic principals: Serve the public's trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. And we live by our principals all year round. Especially in the Season of Good Will. EMT TIM This year I've been on duty with some of the great medical professionals around America, keeping an eye out for the good people of the world this year for whom Christmas isn't quite so Merry. Those guys and girls do such great work and I'd like to take this time to wish them all a safe and happy New Year. OFFICER BOSLEY Also, myself and my tag team partner here have been privledged enough to be able to help out at a number of soup kitchens around the great province of Alberta on behalf of the OAOAST, handing out food and clothing, plus lending an understanding ear, to those less fortunate. EMT TIM It's rewarding to give something back at this time of year Mr. Matthews, especially when you're lucky enough to have such a comfortable life and good health, like we both thankfully do. Now, we want to give something to all our great fans out there this coming Monday night and that's Rescue 911 as the World Tag Team Champions. So we can truly represent the OAOAST, to do as much good as possible. So, keep voting and hopefully, with your support, we can walk out with the Tag Team Titles and start 2007 in a great way. OFFICER BOSLEY And to all you kids out there watching: stay safe and Happy Holidays! The two nice-guys walk off, still smiling away, as we go back to ringside... COACH Ugh. I feel ill. COLE Why!? COACH Those two are like a fat guy's pancakes- too much syrup. COLE I think those were some refreshingly down to earth sentiments, Coach. A rarity in professional wrestling. And I think Rescue 911 should be commended for being genuinely giving, generous people. COACH Oh, sure. That'd be great, if they were running for a Nobel Peace Prize or a Humanitas Award or something. That'll never win them the Tag Team Titles though. The camera cuts to the backstage area where Stacey Robertson is shown making a cup of coffee. The crowd cheers. Stacey is stirring her cup when-- VITAMIN X Hey! Stacey gasps and drops her cup! Vitamin X appears next to her, causing the crowd to boo loudly. X is wearing a blue dress shirt, $500 Rolex watch, black dress pants and black dress shoes, and is carrying a bouquet of roses. He smiles as he walks closer to a frightened Stacey. VITAMIN X Listen, listen. Look, don’t be alarm. I’m not here to hurt you. I just came here...to apologize. STACEY ROBERTSON Apologize? VX Yeah. Look, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting these past few weeks. I’m sorry for trying to lift up your skirt. For trying to undress you while you were unconscious. I’m sorry for acting like a real big jerk. So, as a token of my apology, I am giving you these. And he hands the roses over to Stacey. Stacey is hesitant at first, but she eventually accepts the roses from X. STACEY Uh...thanks. Stacey smells the roses. Vitamin X is still standing there. VX You know, I can’t help myself. I mean, you are such a BEAUTIFUL creature. I can’t stop thinking about you. The things I do...I do them because...because I care about you! STACEY Ummm...ok. X You’re the girl of my dreams. I want to be with you! Can’t you consider like maybe, going on a date with me? Stacey is starting to get uncomfortable. STACEY Uh...listen, X, um...the roses were nice. But...I’m not really interested in you. I have a boyfriend. And his name is Colombian Heat. VITAMIN X Well what can you give you that I can’t? Huh? Huh? What--what can he give you? I’m rich. I’m athletic. I’m handsome. I have a personality. Colombian Heat is nothing but a piece of lower class filth! He’s a HACK! That’s ALL HE IS! STACEY Listen here, X! You don’t know Heat like I know him! He’s nothing at all like you described him as! Heat is a great guy, and he is more a man than you’ll ever be! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" VX didn’t appreciate that last comment. His face is turning red. VITAMIN X You think Colombian Heat is better than me? You REALLY think so? Really? VX takes a deep breath. He then grabs Stacey’s arms! VX Well, let me just show you what kind of a man I am! STACEY No, please! Please stop! Please! Don’t do this! VX Come on. Just one little kiss. For me? Please? Pretty please? STACEY No wait! Please stop! The crowd boos! Vitamin X tries to force himself on Stacey Robertson! Stacey desperately tries to prevent the kiss from happening. "YO!" Colombian Heat spears Vitamin X into the catering table! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Colombian Heat starts pummeling Vitamin X with lefts and rights! Stacey screams, and then runs away. Heat gets up and stomps a mudhole in Vitamin X. COLOMBIAN HEAT YOU PUNK SUCKA! PUNKA MOTHA--PUNK ASS BITCH! I’S TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HER! YOUSE WOULDN’T LISTEN! HUH? STAY AWAY FROM MAH GIRL! Colombian Heat continues punching and kicking Vitamin X, who is dazed. Security finally comes and pulls Colombian Heat away from X. But Heat is fighting to break free, not done yet with his bitter rival. HEAT GET OFF ME, MAN! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! Security and OAOAST Road Agents come and take the furious Heat away from the beaten Vitamin X. X lies with his head resting next to the catering table. Heat is still fighting to break free while the crowd chants his name. The camera does a close-up of Vitamin X’s face as we go to commercial. COLOMBIAN HEAT YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER! YOU HEARD ME! STAY AWAY FROM HER! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! Commercial break

Someone is getting a little too crabby.

I don't think anyone here is saying that, chief. They've got great potential and one can't help to be intrigued and excited with the possibilities.

Winners have been notified. For newcomers who want an idea of how we do the show and how to write their speeches and stuff, take a look at last year's show.