KingPK

MICHAEL COLE In the ring at this time, weighing in at 245 pounds – from Osaka Japan! “Ichiban” OHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARA!! The short Japanese fighter steps out from the corner and briefly raises his hand in the air to acknowledge the crowd – even if they don’t know exactly what to think of the latest Japanese import ”No mercy for what we are doing No thought to even what we have done We don't need to feel the sorrow No remorse for the helpless one” MICHAEL COLE And his opponent, from Dayton, Ohio – he is known as “the Lone Wolf”, here comes JAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES WOLFENSTEIN!! ”War without end No remorse No repent We don't care what it meant” COLE Wolfenstein made very short work of Bill Neilson last week, I think Ohara-san will be a much tougher nut to crack COACH I would hope so Cole, this guy came to the OAOAST looking for a challenge and Neilson just didn’t cut it really cut it you know? James Wolfenstein steps into the spotlight looking straight at the camera for a moment with narrow, intense eyes before he proceeds towards the ring. ”Another day Another death Another sorrow Another breath No remorse No repent” James steps though the ropes and then goes to the corner to do a couple of last minute arm and leg stretches before the match. Once the bell rings James Wolfenstein stands up straight, turns around and steps into the middle of the ring. “Ichiban” Ohara puts his towel over the ringpost and then turns around ready for the match. *DING!*DING!* When Ohara turns around he’s greeted with a shoulder tackle that drives him back in the corner and then peppered with a series of stinging lefts and rights to the back of the head, the neck and the shoulders as James Wolfenstein explodes in a flurry of clubbing action. COACH Wolfenstein seems to be a bit more aggressive this week, I like it COLE Those blows just PUNISH “Ichiban” Ohare in the corner COACH Yeah but they’re all with the palm of the hand, it’s not the knuckles so it’s technically legal. Ohara tries to fight back but ends up having his face driven into one of Wolfenstein’s knees as the big man grabs Ohara around the neck with both hands and then pulls down as he drives a knee upwards at the same time. A second knee knocks Ohara back in the corner where he falls down on his ass. COLE What impact! COACH Are you sure this guy is a rookie? He fights like an experienced fighter COLE I’m pretty sure of it Cole, he turned pro about 6 months ago in Japan, he’s never wrestled professionally before that from what I’ve been told. Wolfenstein backs off when the ref instructs him to give Ohara a bit of space and just stands there in his corner, hands down, fists clenched as he waits. Once Ohara is back on his feet and the referee moves out of the way the Lone Wolf rushes the Japanese star once more but this time Ichiban Ohara is prepared for him and moves out of the way. Ohara makes Wolfenstein pay for his mistake by planting his knee in the back of the big rookie. Then he kicks Wolfenstein in the back of the knee to drive the big man down onto his knees. COACH This Ohara fellar knows how to hurt you! I’m liking this Ohara pulls Wolfenstein’s head back, then drops a stiff overhead elbow to the Dayton native’s forehead. Since the first one seemed to work so well Ohara nails WOlfenstein once more knocking his bigger opponent all the way to the mat. Ohara backs off a bit while tapping his knee, but since we’re not hope in Japan very few people in the arena know that Ohara is signaling for the Shinning Wizard to finish off the rookie. COLE Already? COACH Maybe he figures he can take the rookie by surprise Cole, he could be right. When Ohara goes for the Shinning Wizard Wolfenstein takes a half step forward to catch his opponent before he can connect with the knee. The Lone Wolf wraps his large arms around Ohara and then takes him off his feet sending him flying over his head in a beautiful belly to belly overhead suplex. James leaps back to his feet before Ohara even stops bouncing and quickly follows the belly to belly suplex with a Full Nelson slam that drives the breath from Ichiban Ohara’s body. COACH This guy is a regular suplex machine! COLE Careful now we don’t want to be sued here Wolfenstein pulls himself up on the middle rope and then leaps off driving a diving knee into Ohara’s sternum. James Wolfenstein doesn’t waste a single moment or a single motion as he hooks Ohara with a front face lock, then hooks Ohara’s leg raising him up in the air in the Muscle Buster position. *WHAM!!* COACH Man he must have snapped his spine in half!! After the Muscle Buster Wolfenstein quickly turns around, hooks the leg and puts all his weight on top of “Ichiban” Ohara ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! *DING*DING* MICHAEL COLE The winner of the match – JAMES WOLFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENSTEIN!! After allowing the referee to hold his hand in the air for a couple of seconds James pulls his arm free and then exits the ring, heading to the back without even acknowledging the smattering of cheers he’s hearing. COACH Wolfenstein once again made short work of his opponent tonight. COLE I’m sure that’ll change once he starts fighting some of the more talented OAOAST wrestlers. COACH Other than a bit of rookie inexperience he’s looked very strong so far, I haven’t seen any kinks in his armor yet. Voting for the 2006 Angle Awards begins THIS MONDAY! ”So many times, it happens too fast You change your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive” MICHAEL BUFFER At a combined weight of 400 pounds even, recently arrived from Monterey Mexico!! There are Los Tigres Del Ring: Space Tigre and Tigre METAAAAAAAAAAAAALICO!! COLE If you’ve just joined us then we’re set for a three way tag-team match here on HeldDOWN COACH It’s a very international match with two Latino teams and a team from Japan. COLE Unfortunately the Red & White Express weren’t able to make it tonight, it seems that their visas have expired and they had to leave the country over the weekend. COACH That’s why I always use Am-Ex Cole… ”It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger” The two brightly clad “tigers” from Monterey leap over the top rope into the ring and then quickly remove their vests as they wait for the other teams to join them in the ring. ”SUP-SUP-SUPERNOVA!!... AND THAT SPACE PHAE-ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GUY!! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, da-da-da Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, da-da-da” The Space Cadets seems to have struck a cord with the American crowd, both with their high flying skills, their colorful outfits and of course because they’re taking the fight TO Ramone Gutierrez and his little slimey crony MICHAEL BUFFER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND their opponents from an unknown sector in Outer Space weighing in at a combined weight of 344 pounds – the Enforcer and … that other guy, here are SUPERNOVA AND THE SPACEEEEEEEEEEEE PHAERO!! ”Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, da-da-da Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, da-da-da SPACE CADETAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHS!!” COACH See even Buffer knows that the Space Phaero is the fall guy for this team. COLE What a bunch of bull Coach and you know it! Supernova and the Space Phaero step through the curtains, then strike a quick pose at the top of the ramp as a mysterious wind kicks in and makes their capes flap in the wind. ”Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, da-da-da Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, da-da-da FIGHTING FOR GOOD, FIGHTING FOR JUST…….IIIIIIIIIIICE!!!” The two high five each other and then rush to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope before coming face to face with the Tigres Del Ring. After looking at each other for a moment the Space Cadets offer their opponents a hand which is quickly taken by the Mexican imports. COACH Gag me COLE What’s wrong with sportsmanship? COACH You won’t see Los Vatos Locos shaking hands now will you? They don’t need it, respect is something you beat into someone else Cole! MICHAEL BUFFER And introducing team number three!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ”As he came into the window Was a sound of a crescendo He came into her apartment He left the bloodstains on the carpet” MICHAEL BUFFER At a combined weight of 375 pounds the (reads from the cue card he’s been given) “Perfect combination of speed and talent the like of which has never been seen in the OAOAST” COLE That’s debatable MICHAEL BUFFER I give you El Esperito, Ramon Juan Hey-Sus Gutierrez. They are LOS VATOS LOOOOOOOCOS!! ”She was sitting at the table He could see she was unable So she ran into the bedroom She was struck down It was her doom” El Esperito is the first to pop through the curtains, strutting out like he’s the king of the world, shaking his head to the beat of the song while encouraging the fans to get up and cheer for them. COACH Alright Vatos Locos!! COLE I see you’ve decided to be subtly biased tonight Coach COACH I’m telling you Cole these guys are awesome, remind me a bit of myself when I was younger COLE No morals and in need of medical treatment? COACH Yea… wait, WHAT?? ”Annie, are you OK You OK Are you OK, Annie You've been hit by… You've been struck by…” When the song hits that line Esperito does the old “Outsider’s point” towards the curtains ”A smooth criminal” As Ramone Gutierrez steps through with a confident grin on his face. The two exchange a few words, bump knuckles and then head to the ring in a leisurely tempo causing both Supernova and the Space Phaero to loose their cool and start complaining to the referee. COACH Oh keep your shirt on! COLE The Space Cadets want nothing more than to get their hands on these two on the floor, after what they’ve done to Venom and all. Ramone reaches into his pants pocket and then pulls out one of his beloved trophies, the horn he tore off Venom’s mask a while back. If Ramone’s intentions was to taunt the Space Cadets and piss them off he’s definitely succeeded – but he probably didn’t mean to piss them off to the point where they push the referee aside, race across the ring and SOMMERSAULT LEAP OVER THE TOP ROPE!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Supernova takes Ramone down by throwing his entire body against him drawing a sizeable pop from the crowd. Supernova even manages to roll with it and land on his feet as Ramone is knocked backwards into the guardrail in a heap. Supernova takes a second to high five some of the excited fans at ringside until *CRACK!!* COLE What the? COACH What just happened?? Supernova crumples to the ground as he’s struck in the face with a metal folding chair, it would seem that one of the fans in the crowd attacked him. COLE Did a fan just… no way! When the cameras focus on the crowd they see a large 6’7’’ maybe 6’8’’ guy in a Hawaiian shirt in the front row with a steel chair in his hand. The supposed fan steps over the barricade and then helps Ramone get back to his feet. COACH I know we’ve got a lot of excitement and we encourage fans to get into it but this, this is crossing the line! The Space Phaero is stunned by the sudden shift of event but still has enough presence of mind to keep an eye on both Locos and the big man that showed up. Unfortunately for both of the Tigres del Ring they are not so lucky – they came here looking for a match, didn’t expect to be involved in a mugging after all. Neither of the Mexicans react fast enough to avoid the handful of powder that El Experito hurls at them. COLE He just blinded Los Tigres!! COACH Oh I’m sure it’s just temporarily don’t be a wet blanket! Ramone and their mysterious partner both climb up on the ropes, each holding a steel chair looking to do some serious damage to the Space Phaero. The lone Space Cadet shakes his head as he backs into a corner trying to get away from Los Vatos Locos. COLE These bastards struck again! Gutierrez OBVIOUSLY arranged this whole thing, this is the attack on Venom all over again. Just as it looks at it’s bleakest for the Space Phaero a figure comes running in from the back and slides under the bottom rope YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! COLE KENJI KAWADA!! Kawada is still in his street clothes and he’s brandishing a set of nun chucks that he’s twirling through the air as he steps between the Space Phaero and the three attackers. El Esperito tries to make a move towards Kenji but ends up taking the point of the nun chucks in the mid-section and then a Yakuza kick to the face. COLE Kawada has come out to stop Los Vatos Locos!! Look at him move Coach! Kawada handles the nun chucks like an expert using them to knock the chair out of the big man’s hand to keep them all at bay. After a short standoff the OAOAST road agents and backstage crew finally make their appearance as they separate the two warring factions. COACH Kawada is a sore lose, he had no business out here COLE No business? They were about to attack the Space Phaero Coach!! Ramone is livid as the officials try to force the three men back towards the locker room, pushing people around as he tries to force his way back to the ring. El Esperito pushes Michael Buffer out of his chair and snatches his microphone EL ESPERITO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING PERDEDOR!! YOU WANT SOME OF US?? Kawada just nods in response. EL ESPERITO You and me burro-breath! Next week, no rules! No Limits! You bring your chop sticks Esse and I’ll show them up your *BEEP* Kawada nods again, silently accepting the challenge as he keeps his eyes on the three men on the floor. COLE Whoa! Did you hear that Coach? Next week – no rules COACH I like it! Once Kawada is sure that the officials have removed all three Vatos Locos he turns and checks on the Space Phaero and Supernova. The HI-YAH superstar offers Supernova his hand and then helps the youngster from the rival HI-GATE to his feet. The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is just entering and closing the door. The crowd boos. Stephen Joseph Popick and The Lightning Crew are waiting for him. PRL is already in his wrestling gear and carrying his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder. Popick is wearing a black Lightning Crew T-shirt, a leather jacket, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. He is also wearing a crucifix around his neck and his regular eyeglasses. He has his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt strapped around his waist. PRL’s spray-painted briefcase sits on a table next to them. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Okay, so me and Popick had a talk last week, and any tension that may have started because of what I did to him last week has been put to the wayside. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Yeah. We went to therapy, visited a yoga center, went to a Buddhist temple. Our minds have been cleared. We are free of anger and stress and are ready to continue our reign as HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. PRL Yeah. Tonight is a big night for us. Those punk bitches want their belts back after we 'stole' them at November Reign! HA! We didn’t steal nothin’. But D*LUX is hungry tonight, so we gotta be double tough and prepared to strike. Popick, are you ready? POPICK I’m right by your side, bro. To the bitter end. PR Excellent. So, Lightning Crew, guys, we are SO ready to layeth the smacketh down on D*LUX’s collective candy asses tonight! This IS going to be a HeldDOWN~! to remember! And that’s the truth, Ruth! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The crowd boos loudly. The Lightning Crew just look at PRL. PRL and Popick’s smiles fade. THA PUERTO RICAN Guys...what’s wrong? The Lightning Crew all look at each other. VITAMIN X P.R., we were just wondering... CUBAN WALL We know you said you haven’t changed. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ But, we were thinking...maybe you should. PRL Wait. What? Guys, listen, that whole thing with D*LUX. Everything I said. That was part of the plan. That was all part of the hoax! Come on, I told you this a billion times, a kajillion times for Mr. Boricua! We were all playing a joke on them. I didn’t mean everything I said! CUBAN WALL What do you mean 'EVERYTHING'? Did you mean SOME of the things you said? PRL (slightly stuttering) N--No--no. No! NO! I meant EVERYTHING I said about you WAS A LIE! R--r--right, Popick? Right? POPICK Ooh, yeah. He’s right! Ed loves you guys. PUERTO RICAN Yeah. I was just lying! That’s all. CUBAN WALL Well, how about you give me and Vitamin X a shot at your Tag Team Titles? We haven’t wrestled as a team since May! PRL First off, the correct way to say that sentence is ’Vitamin X and I’. And second of all, your title shot will come, in due time. But not now. Not now. Me and Popick have to take care of D*LUX first, tonight! THEN, we’ll see about Brains & Brawn getting a shot at the gold. VITAMIN X Why do we have to wait!? PRL Why? Uh...why? Because...because...because I said so! That’s why! The Lightning Crew (except Lindsay) look at each other. CUBAN WALL Something’s not right about this. Are you just B.S.ing us? PRL No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Not at all! Not...not at all. Cuban Wall just stares at PRL. He ain’t buying it. PRL gulps nervously. Cuban Wall looks at his Lightning Crew cohorts...and all four of them stand up, and start stalking towards Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd cheers. PRL backs up nervously. THA PUERTO RICAN Now wait! Now wait! Please...please guys. You’ll get your shot. You’ll get your shots! Please! Don’t do this! CUBAN WALL Stop with the lying PRL! VX Yeah! THOMAS Yeah! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! The Lightning Crew surround PRL. PRL is sweating bullets. Popick has no idea what to do, and neither does Lindsay. THA PUERTO RICAN Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second! Wait! Hold on a minute here! Just hold up! Wait...what if I gave you guys some benefits? The LC back off when they hear this. They all look at each other. WALL Benefits? PRL Y--yeah. What if...what if I gave you guys...a bonus? No...wait. How about...a raise? Yeah. That’s it! Each member of The Lightning Crew gets a $1,000 plus raise in their OAOAST contracts! And just because I’m a caring person, I WILL NOT be receiving a raise with you guys! And not only that, but the $1,000 will come straight from Popick’s own contract! Stephen Joseph Popick does a double take when he hears this. POPICK Wait. WHAT!? PRL Do you like that? The Lightning Crew all look at each other. They don’t look really impressed with that. PRL starts to worry, as he senses that he’s about to lose them for good. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay. Okay...what about a $10,000 raise? Yeah, each member of The Lightning Crew gets a $10,000 raise in their contracts? And the $10,000 will come from Popick’s own contract. How does that sound? The LC continue looking at PRL. They don’t look like they’re happy about a $10,000 raise either. Popick can’t believe what he’s hearing. PRL gets serious and looks right at them. POPICK You’re kidding, right? RIGHT!? PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU’RE KIDDING!?!?!? PRL Okay. So, how about this: each...and every...member...of The Lightning Crew...excluding myself...will get...a 50 THOUSAND DOLLAR raise...on their OAOAST contracts? That’s right. Each member of The Lightning Crew will get paid 50...thousand...dollars...more every month. $50,000 out of Popick’s own contract. Now, how’s THAT sound? The look on Stephen Joseph Popick’s face can be best expressed through this picture: POPICK CUBAN WALL Hmmm...that...that...that sounds pretty damn good, boss. THA PUERTO RICAN (under his breath) Oh thank God. Popick is still stunned. THA PUERTO RICAN So, we cool, G? PR sticks his right hand out. Cuban Wall looks at it, thinks for a moment... WALL Yeah. We’re cool. And shakes Puerto’s hand! PRL Phew. Glad to see we’re still in business, chief. CUBAN WALL Same to you, P.R. POPICK P.R., can we talk about you giving The Lightning Crew each 50 THOUSAND DOLLARS OF MY OWN MONEY EACH MONTH!?!?!? PRL Relax, Popick. Any money that is taken away from you, Vitamin X will pay you back. Right, X? VITAMIN X No sweat, P.R. $50,000 a month is chump change for me. POPICK Well that’s cool...I guess. PRL Yeah. Each member of The LC gets $50,000 a month. And not only that, but you’ll also get health insurance, a full dental plan for 2 years, and the first six months of AA on me, for free! Is that good with you guys? THE LIGHTNING CREW (in unison) YEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PRL All right then! Now, go get ready, because we’ve got an important match to win tonight! Good luck! And I’ll see you later! The Lightning Crew all gab about, promising victory and such and such. Stephen Joseph Popick opens the door, allowing Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Thomas Rodriguez, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez to leave, with Popick following them. PR is about to leave too, when-- VX P.R., can I talk to you for a second? PR What? Uh...sure. Sure. Sure. PRL closes the door. He heads over to the beige leather couch where Vitamin X is already sitting. Puerto grabs himself an apple from the fruit basket. VX Now, you saw what happened between me and Stacey Robertson last week. PRL (while peeling the skin off of the apple) Yeah, that was great! Way to distract Colombian Heat, X! VX Thanks. But P.R. I wasn’t doing that just to distract Colombian Heat. You see, P.R....I want Stacey Robertson. PRL takes a bite of his apple. PRL You want her to be your maid? X, that’s a great idea! I approve. PRL goes back to chewing. VITAMIN X No. I don’t want her to be my maid. I want *HER*. I want to be WITH HER. I want to have a relationship with her. I want to be Stacey Robertson’s boyfriend! PRL (with his mouth full of apple) But X, why Stacey? I mean, ewwwww. No offense, but that girl is BUTTTTT ugly! I don’t like her. VX Well I do. There’s plenty of things to like about her. I mean, she’s got that fiery red hair. And man, do I love me some redheads! She smells like strawberries. She’s got those perfect eyes. Not too big, not too small. Almost Asian in shape, but not. She’s got a cute little nose, and a wonderful smile. I love it when she flashes her pearly whites. She’s also got one magnificent body too. I mean, cot damn! Her breasts are ehhhh, but I’ve got money, so I could have her get surgery if she wants. On the brightside, she’s got a cute little booty. I mean, for a white girl, she’s got a fine ass! PRL Hmmm. Nope. Don’t see it. Vitamin X rolls his eyes. X Look. You gotta help me. I want Stacey, but Colombian Heat is with her. And...I’m almost afraid to confront him again. I mean, remember AngleMania V? PRL Yeah. I do. Not a good night for The Lightning Crew. VX So you see, if I want to get with Stacey, I’m gonna need YOUR help. So P.R., boss, I ask of you...no...I BEG of you. Can you please...PLEASE help me win Stacey’s heart and get her to be with me? PRL takes another bite of his apple and then thinks this question over while chewing. PRL Hmmmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmm. PRL swallows (nasty image, I know). PRL Well, personally X, I think you should just drop Stacey and move on to someone else. You’re a good looking guy. AND you’re RICH! I’m sure you can get a hundred more women who look a thousand times hotter than Stacey! But...since you are a member of The Lightning Crew, and you have been loyal to me for close to four years...I’m going to give you the help you need. If you want to take Stephanie or Stacey or whatever her name is from Colombian HACK, then X, I’ll lend you a hand! Because that’s what friends are for! VX Really. Thanks P.R.! Thank you so much! You really are a pal! I’d kiss you, but...you know...that wouldn’t look right...not that there’s anything wrong with that. PRL I know. I know. Vitamin X high fives PRL. He adjusts his black dress shirt with white pinstripes and then looks at his $500 Rolex watch. VX Oh, your match is starting soon! I better get out of here, so that you can get your mind focused to defend your title! See you, P! PRL Later X. Vitamin X opens the door and leaves The Lightning Crew dressing room. The crowd boos. A small "P.R. SUCKS!" chant breaks out. PRL takes another bite out of his apple. PRL Yep, all in a day’s work for the most electrifying man in professional wrestling. God, I love being me! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican continues eating his apple with a relaxed expression on his face. His HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt rests on his lap. PRL bobs his head to a beat that’s only heard in his head. The crowd boos some more as we go to a commercial break. Commercials

COLE Back on HeldDOWN from Green Bay, thanks for joining us. With some Hot Newz~! you need to know, here's Tony Schiavone. Backstage, the former voice of WCW and now Syndicated host stands humbly in front of our modest interview set -- a simplistic "OAOAST" banner. SCHIAVONE Coming up New Year's night, January 1st, the OAOAST presents the 2nd annual New Year's Spectauclar live right here on TSM. Being the fan-friendly promotion the OAOAST is, we're putting the card in your hands. Yes, you, the wrestling fan, will have the power to pick the stipulation or wrestler you want to see! Go to OAOAST.com for more information on that big card New Year's night. In addition to the great live action you'll be seeing, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and myself will be on hand to unviel 2007 Anderson Cup brackets. The past two winners, the GPX and Heavenly Rockers, have gone on to capture the tag team championship at AngleMania IV and V respectively. Hoping to continue the trend are the Beverly Hills Blonds and the team of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, all members of the Enterprise entered in next year's Anderson Cup. That's if neither duo capture the tag titles. That's right. All members of the Enterprise also entered in a big tag team title defense New Year's Night, with the Beverly Hills Blonds pulling double duty as they face Los Diablos de Fuego. In walk the Enterprise. Simon comforting a noticeably upset Ned Blanchard, who is grimacing in pain and shaking his head in disappointment. SIMON Tony, it's with great sadness that I must inform you and all our "great fans" the Beverly Hills Blonds won't be able to perform New Year's night because of a server groin injury Ned suffered last week in the 6-man tag. I know there's gonna be some skepticism concerning the injury but I assure you and everyone watching it's legit. Our man Theodore had the finest doctors money can buy examined Ned, all of whom said it would be in his best interest to back out of the match to avoid further injury. So it's not like we're trying to get the night off to celebrate the New Year in Beverly Hills or anything. It's a legit medical injury. Ned did everything in his power to try and be ready for Los Diablos de Fuego, even going as far as to suggest castration to relive the pain. NED I'm no doctor, so I didn't know that would only add to the problem, not fix it. But I'll suck it up for the tag title match that night. SCHIAVONE Now hold on just a minute. This would be the second time you've backed out of a scheduled match against Los Diablos de Fuego. There's more than meets the eye here. It wouldn't have anything to do with last week, would it? THEODORE Last week is last week, little man. A fluke pin by a fluke tag team. Instead of questioning the Enterprise, why don't you go question those known cheaters Los Diablos de Fuego? First it was November Reign, then last week. They can't be anybody straight up, they gotta resort to illegal switching or double-teaming to beat anyone. Take last week for example. SCHIAVONE I thought last week was last week. THEODORE Schiavone, you're one phone call away from never being seen again. And I don't mean just on television, if you catch my drift. The proof is in the pudding. It took an illegal double-team to keep Christian Wright down for the 1-2-3. Nevermind the fact he got his shoulder up before the final count was made. Had the referee been doing his job it wouldn't have come down to a missed call. SCHIAVONE I don't recall it happening like that. WRIGHT You're paid to hold a microphone to a person's face not spew your views. THEODORE Hahahahaha! You tell him CW. Just like I'm going to tell Los Diablos de Fuego right now...you will have someone to wrestle at the New Year's Spectauclar. A team that holds victory after victory over you. A team that has left you bloody, battered and beaten. They've spent the last few weeks training vigorously in the jungles of Latin America for their big chance at fame and a half a million dollar reward once they beat you New Year's night. I present to you...Los Conquistadors! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Uno and Dos appear carrying a green money bag. Following handshakes with the Enterprise, they start digging into the bag. SCHIAVONE Half a million dollar reward? You've placed a bountry on the heads of Los Diablos de Fuego! THEODORE Money is meant to be spent, little man. And it will be money well spent come New Year's night. The question now becomes, how will those peasents go down in defeat. Will it be a Mexican Deathmatch? What about a barbed wire coal miner's glove match? Uno pulls the glove out of the bag and puts it on for all to see. THEODORE Huh? Remember that Diablos? Didn't feel too good, didn't it? I know what something else that couldn't have felt to good. Seeing your stupid mascot torn to shreds. All the king's horses and all the king's men might not have been able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again, but the Billon Dollar Heir's fame and fortune could stitch El Ovéja together again. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Dos pulls the shreded remains of El Ovéja out of the bag. Los Diablos former mascot reduced to a flat piece of "skin" taped together. SCHIAVONE Uh! That does it from here. Back to you. COLE Oh, poor, poor Oveja. COACH I wonder when the Enterprise's Christmas party is? Teddy told me that the invite was in the mail, but I haven't gotten it yet. COLE That's too bad, because I got mine a week ago. COACH COLE COACH This New Year's Day, there won't be a GM in control... COLE AXEL SLAM! AXEL SLAM! ...no authority figure in control... IT'S ANGLESAULT~?!?!??! ANGLESAULT IS HERE ON HELDDOWN~! ...no recently divorced pseudo celebrities in control... **THIS ANNECDOTE REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS** ...because, this New Year... ANGLESAULT YOU'RE gonna be in control! It's the first ever, completely interactive event in OAOAST history, where YOU decide the challengers, the challenges and the stipulations! ANGLESAULT All with the power of your interweb machines! *NEW YEAR'S SPECTACULAR: MAINFRAME MONDAY!* January 1st, 2007; Daytona Beach, Florida COLE Mainframe Monday coming up on January 1st and you, the OAOAST fans, can vote on what YOU want to see from this coming Monday night. Just added to the card this past week, the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships will be up for grabs as six teams challenge for the belts. The current Champions, The Sooner Bruisers, must contend with The Heavenly Rockers, The Beverly Hills Blonds, The Love Doctors, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright and finally, Rescue 911. COACH Who? COLE You'll have three choices. It'll either be a traditional Over The Top Rope Battle Royal, a Tag Team Turmoil Match or a Triple Chance Battle Royal with over the top elimination and a singles match between the final two teams. What odds must The Sooners defy? You decide in four days time. COACH Will I have my laptop by then? COLE Never you mind Coach. You know what happened to that kid who swiped his Christmas present early. COACH My mom would never do shop me. I'm the apple of her eye! COLE Sure. On a lighter note and speaking of the tag division as we were, until you started whining about that damn laptop again, up next the OAOAST's newest tag team debuts. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew as they've christened themselves, with Rico de Janeiro at the helm. We've seen Rico a handful of times on HeldDOWN~! and he's been unsuccessful to say the least, against Theodore Moneymaker and then in tag action against D*LUX twice. He blames a lack of experience and then a series of subpar partners. But Rico now has the experience of the bright lights and TV cameras and now, a handpicked partner, Lucius Soul who's been gaining a reputation in OAOVW and was weeks away from a tryout on OAOAST events. Until that is Rico offered him an immediate route onto the big show and understandably he struck a deal. COACH Finally Rico has a partner who he can get along with. A man with talent. A man with an eye for the ladies. A man with the Mardi Gras spirit in his heart. COLE A man with outdated hairstyling techniques? COACH Hey! The fro'll never go out of style. "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" As the soothing sounds of "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins play through the arena, those with decent memories react for the entrance of the tag division's newest combo! Not new to the fans is Rico de Janeiro, swaggering through the curtains wearing a bright (and I mean bright) orange Hawaiian shirt and a large collection of Mardi Gras beads around his neck. Rico stops and strokes down his porn 'stache, before swaggering on. Meanwhile, his newfound tag team partner appears through the sliding doors, busily combing his afro as he struts down the aisle. "She's an easy lover She'll take your heart but you won't feel it She's like no other And I'm just trying to make you see" At the bottom of the ramp Soul stops to run down the fans a little, smirking away the whole time and happy to be on the big show. Meanwhile, Rico swaggers up the ring steps and strokes his porn 'stache in the direction of two screaming Wisconsin hotties, before entering the ring. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a total combined weight of four hundred, ten pounds... the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... they are, THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Man, these two guys just ooze charisma! COLE Is that what it is? They look pretty sleazy to me, but maybe I've watched one too many 80s detective shows and developed some stereotypes. COACH You're in the right business if you have. As Lucius joins his partner in the ring, Gavin Rossdale's "Adrenaline" now hits and the walking merchandise stand that is Flex Phillips leads the way for the nutritional gurus, proudly wearing his NRG track jacket. Flex takes a swig from his NRG "Winter Berry and Pomegranate NRG Drink" bottle as everyone's favourite human puppydog Biff Atlas follows behind, soaking up the cheers from the adoring crowd. BUFFER And their opponents! Total combined weight five hundred, fifteen pounds, the team of BIFF ATLAS and FLEX PHILLIPS... NUTRITION'S REAL GURUS... N... R...G!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" Fueling the chants, Biff pumps his fist to the beat. Flex is a little less co-operative, possibly because the crowd aren't chanting his name, possibly because he's busy jawing back and forth with Soul. Into the ring climbs the bigman and The MGHWC understandably duck out to the apron encouraging calm, as Biff continues to play to the people. COLE And would you listen to the reaction for Biff Atlas! He's really endeared himself to the OAOAST fans in recent months, the people have taken him in as one of their own and to be honest, I can't figure out when or why it happened. But it has. COACH Like the blind leading the blind. The mentally blind at least. The MGHWC continue to stall for time on the apron as NRG are ready to go. And they're not wasting time (there's a triple main event to get to after all), Flex catching Rico unawares, yanking the top rope and bringing him in the hard way~! *DINGDINGDING!* Rico rolls back to his seat and tries to beg off, shuffling across the ring trying to calm Flex down. There's no reprieve coming though and Flex hauls Rico up, nailing him with a big forearm that sends Rico staggering back into a neutral corner! Another forearm! And a third, before Flex tears the gaudy Hawaiian shirt from de Janeiro's back and wraps it around his throat! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, Rico is in trouble! Flex Phillips, trying to choke the moustache right off his lips! COACH That doesn't even make any sense! With the shirt still wrapped around the throat, Flex beils Rico out of the corner and into the centre of the ring HARD! Rico again tries to beg off as Flex does as his name would dictate, flexing his muscles. That buys Rico time to scramble back to his feet and rush the posing bodybuilder, but Flex sidesteps and guides Rico sternum first into the turnbuckles behind him. Out bounces the Brazilian, into a right hand. Another. Another. Another. And yet another. Somehow Rico is still standing after this onslaught, albeit with a noticeable wobble, so Flex takes him behind the head, running him headfirst into the turnbuckles. With a wrench of the arm Flex then sends Rico coast to coast into the opposite corner, the force bouncing Rico back out... ...into a GORILLA PRESS... ...and a slam, which causes Soul to freak out in Mardi Gras territory! COACH Woah! COLE New partner or not, Rico de Janeiro doesn't seem to have had a change of luck thus far. Despite the huge slam, Rico seems more concerned with his moustache as he climbs back to his feet, stroking it down with his free hand, the other pinned to his lower back. Around he turns and Flex is waiting, mowing The King Of The Mardi Gras with a clothesline before making the tag to Biff Atlas! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Biff balls up the fists and the crowd know what's coming! Unfortunately for Rico he doesn't, barely knowing where he is by now as he turns right into a heavy haymaker! "BIFF!" Another right hand follows... "BIFF!" ...and another... "BIFF!" ...before Biff loads the Brazilian into the ropes with an irish whip. Soul tries to make a blind tag but the tagrope simply won't stretch far enough, leaving him to watch on in despair as Rico goes soaring courtesy of a HIGH backbody drop from Atlas! In shock, Rico sits up, but Biff shoves him back down and makes the pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Up pops Rico looking for the tag. Biff quickly grabs him by the head though, dragging Rico back to his feet and sending him for the ride again. But naïvely Biff ducks his head looking for another backdrop. And this time Rico is well prepped for the move, managing to lunge forward and drop an elbow across the back of the head to counter! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" From the corner Flex tries to encourage Biff to 'shake it off'. Which he has no chance to, as Rico pulls him to his feet in a front facelock and drags him to the corner, allowing "Sweet" Lucius Soul to tag in. COLE Well, our first look at Lucius, let's see what the fuss is about. In glides Lucius and he lands a quick kick to the exposed gut of Biff before taking the chance to taunt Flex, luring the hotheaded bodybuilder into the ring. That allows him to place Biff in the corner and let Rico do some dirtywork with the tag rope around the throat, some more smack talk keeping Flex in and the referee distracted. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Looks like the tables have turned Mikey. COLE Thanks to the illegal use of that tag rope. COACH Yeah, sure. But the fact is Lucius came in and immediately turned the match into his team's favour. None of Rico's other partners got that far. Finally referee Charles Robinson manages to convince Flex to go back to the corner. By now though Rico has abandoned the tag rope, walking down the apron stroking his porn 'stache in innocence, Lucius taking over on Biff with stomps in the corner. Stomp after stomp finds the well chiseled frame of Biff until he's pushed up against the bottom turnbuckle. At which point Soul SLAMS the flat of his boot into the face and mugs for the crowd, who haven't taken to the New Orleans native. "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" Lucius pulls Biff out of the corner and tags Rico back in. A double whip by The MGHWC sends Biff into the ropes and Lucius drops down in the centre of the ring, forcing Biff to go up and over... into a Harley Race style High Knee from Rico! The new partners high-five, before Rico follows up with the pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Unhappy with the count, Rico encourages to referee Charles Robinson to 'speed it up, baby' as he climbs back up. Drawing on the crowd and his partner's encouragement, up climbs Biff, fists shaking. A clubbing forearm over the back doesn't seem to stop him for too long. Another forearm over the back puts him down to one knee again, but still Biff is fighting. So Rico hits the ropes in front and charges back with a firm stance, thundering the elbow hard into the sternum. The wind goes rushing out of Biff's lungs and although he doesn't go down immediately, he does drop to his knees after a couple of seconds, sucking wind. COACH Man, you could hear the contact all around the arena there. Rico, showing the form that propelled him to the position of Nose Tackle at Rio de Janeiro University! COLE What!? There's no such thing... and where did you get that cowboy hat!? COACH Props department. A lucky fan gets a black Resistol to remember the night by as Michael Cole sends it flying into the crowd. Meanwhile back in the ring, another exchange is made by The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Up to the top goes Lucius as Rico holds Biff in place by the arms, leaving him wide-open for a fist delivered down across Biff's bald head. A little juking and jiving follows, Lucius feeling good about life right about now. Biff tries to shake off the cobwebs as Lucius closes in and hits another right hand. Without the added height they don't seem to have the same effect, so Lucius instead lands a roundhouse kick to the chest. And a second, Biff now softened up enough to go back to the right hands. With Biff up against the ropes, Soul now looks to shoot him off with an irish whip. It's reversed by the pocket powerhouse, but as Biff's attentions turn to reaching his corner and a tag he forgets all about Lucius, who soars back with a (briefly) gravity defying Flying Clothesline! Cover is made... 1... 2... And Flex makes the save! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SOUL C'mon, get that sucka outta here! Flex is sent back to the corner, while another tag is made on the other side. In swaggers Rico, driving a double sledge across the fallen Atlas before taking issue with Flex Phillips. The bigman restrains himself and warns Rico he'll pay later, but Rico seems distinctly unconcerned as he greets Biff climbing up with a knee to the gut. Rico now backs Biff into a neutral corner, landing the forearm to the sternum again. And with Biff winded, the Brazilian climbs the ropes, that cocky Latino smirk on his hairy lipped face as he pins the bald head back... ...and lands a big right. And another. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Obviously the crowd aren't counting along, but if they were they'd be up to three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. And... ...Rico stops, stroking down the porn 'stache... ...allowing Biff to counter, lifting Rico off the ropes and carrying him into the centre of the ring, before planting the horrified Latino ladies man with an Inverted Atomic Drop! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Rico a little too pre-occupied with the moustache and it cost him! A dumb move if I ever saw one. COACH He's proud of his appearance, that's all. If you could grow a moustache you'd understand! Left hurting downstairs, the 'stache is the least of Rico's worries now and he looks to buy some recovery time with a tag to Lucius Soul. In rushes Lucius, looking to catch Biff off guard with a clothesline. But Biff sees it coming and ducks underneath, Soul managing to put on the brakes just short of Flex in the corner. His joy is short lived however, because Biff is waiting on him. Right hand. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" ...with Lucius rocking and reeling, Biff wiiiiiinds up... "WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH..." ...and lands the BIG final haymaker, dropping Lucius in one! "BIFF!" COLE Biff succeeded where Rico failed, completing the series of 10! That offensive burst took all the energy Biff had at his immediate disposal though and he drops to one knee, to the frustration of Flex Phillips who is desperate for the tag. The crowd get behind Biff as he glances up, looking for the corner and making the slow, painful crawl towards his partner. On the other side Rico is still nursing his own injuries, so Soul bypasses a tag and tries instead to cut Biff off... ...BUT THE TAG IS MADE!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here. Comes. Flex! Riled up from his extended spell on the apron, Flex comes in and transforms into a human HOUSE OF FIRE! A clothesline puts Soul back down the moment he reaches his feet. Up climbs Soul again, but again he's nailed with a clothesline. Rico sees his partner in trouble and comes in looking for the save, finding only more of the same, that being a clothesline that knocks him clean off his feet. And Flex is feeling it now, treating the crowd to an impressive 'most muscular' pose that almost tempts Vince McMahon to pick up the phone to his accountant and say "hey, maybe we gave up on that WBF thing too soon!" COLE Flex Phillips is cleaning house and Rico might be getting that sinking feeling again right about now. COACH Don't count him out yet Mikey. He's not the same guy we saw those past three times. Well... he is, but he isn't. You know what I'm saying. Posing time is over now as Flex sends Rico for the ride. Rico grips the top rope and stops his momentum though, giving Flex the ol' porn 'stache stroke, distracting him as Lucius comes up from behind... ...but a sidestep from Flex causes Lucius to hit Rico with a huge Bicycle Kick, sending Rico spiralling up and over the top rope to the arena floor! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh no! COLE Rico's got more than a sinking feeling after that one! Momentarily freaked out by his miscue, Soul tries to apologise. Being KOed on the floor Rico can't hear anyway, so Lucius remembers he's got a match to get on with, turning on his heels and charging at Flex. But he runs right into a Sidewalk Slam from Ft. Lauderdale's finest! Popping to his knees, Flex signals that it's over as he makes a lateral press... 1... 2... NO, kickout! COACH There we go! This guy's no pushover, not like Rico's past partners. COLE Kickout by Soul, but NRG are still in the ascendancy here. Lucius Soul is in the ascendancy too. Literally, as Flex pulls him off the mat and up into the air with an effortless Gorilla Press! So effortless that Flex starts doing reps with the 185 pound newcomer. Back into the fray comes Biff Atlas meanwhile and on orders from his partner he drops to one knee, ready for the NRG Burst! Referee Charles Robinson is trying to gain control of the match though and finds himself in the way trying to get one man in and one man out... *CHING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ...meaning he misses the LOWBLOW by Rico de Janeiro on Flex Phillips! COACH So much for ascendancy! COLE Out of sight of the referee, lowblow! Don't tell me this is how Rico intends on getting his first OAOAST victory! COACH Well, that's one method he didn't try before. Going into a sudden state of rigor mortis, or rigor paralysis at least, Flex drops Soul who just manages to catch himself and land on his feet. Biff reacts, brushing referee Robinson aside and rushing at Lucius. Lucius drops down though, forcing Biff to go up and over, right into the waiting arms of Rico with a HOTSHOT! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Biff whiplashes off of the rope, Soul takes Flex and calls over Rico. Together The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew pitch the bigman to the arena floor and pool their efforts towards the lone man in the ring, Biff Atlas. Biff is still choking for breath as Rico hauls him up, clubbing him with a couple of forearms. Snaking behind, Rico then takes Biff up for a Back Suplex as Soul positions himself, taking Biff by the back of the head and guiding him down with a Neckbreaker in stereo with the suplex! COACH What a hairraising experience for Biff Atlas! Haha, get it? Coz, the hair? COLE Genius. Biff writhes on the canvas as Soul jumps for joy. Meanwhile, the much calmer de Janeiro swaggers back to his feet, hands on hips, looking for the answer to one simple question. RICO WHO WANTS A MOUSTACHE RIDE!?! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Sit down Michael! COLE I am sat down you moron! Apparantly no-one wants to take The King Of The Mardi Gras up on his gracious offer. So Rico turns his attention back to Biff, pulling him up off the canvas and into a standing headscissors. And despite Biff's 220 pounds of muscle, Rico is able to muscle him up over his shoulder, placing the hands in the armpits and muscling him up a little further with the crucifix... ...and DRIVING him down with the Crucifix Powerbomb! COACH The Moustache Ride! COLE What strength from de Janeiro! Impressive! Rico strokes down the porn 'stache as he crawls into the cover... 1... ...and Lucius lands a baseball slide to keep Flex out of action... 2... 3!!! COLE And that's it! *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds, Rico punches the air in relief. But he soon regains his cool and simply strokes down the porn 'stache in victory. Soul returns to the ring too and pats his new tag partner on the back, celebrating a job well done. BUFFER Your winners of this match, the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Some questionable tactics, but you can't argue with the results. Rico de Janeiro picks up his first ever OAOAST victory, with the newcomer Lucius Soul by his side and I can guarantee they won't care about the means or the methods. COACH And so they shouldn't! Rico needed a partner he could rely on and he found him. He needed a partner to help him towards victory, he found him. And hey, first time out they beat NRG. Who knows how far these two could go together Mikey. It could be a year round Mardi Gras celebration... and I LOVE Mardi Gras celebrations! COLE Settle down Coach. COACH But... Mardi Gras! You know what you've got to do to get those beads, right? COLE (sighs) Yeeess. COACH I wanna see someone show it! Where's Stacey when you need her? Get her out here. Find Lindsay, find anyone, The Coach ain't fussy... COLE Commercials......something! Ok, let's go to the back. We head into a dressing room where James Riggs and Dance Dance Dragon standing side by side in front of a TV, cherry red Guitar Hero guitars strapped on as they furiously jam on the virtual crack that is known as Guitar Hero. RIGGS Yeah! Yeah! I'm straight out whipping your ass right now. I guess you're used to that since I did it night in and night out in HI-YAH. DDD (translated) That may be, but my fortunes will change on the Mainframe Monday special when I defeat you and all the others in the New Year's Knock Out. RIGGS (sighing) I've had to deal with people jabbering at me about whatever while finishing my Japanese obligations. Don't you know SOME English? Uh oh, here comes the solo. Time to leave you in the dust! DDD (translated) How unusual; a musical game that uses the hands. This is not my style at all. Dragon unstraps the guitar and lays it on the floor, using his Mad Foot Skillz© to operate his guitar, to the shock of Riggs, who furiously tries to keep up. The song ends.... RIGGS WHAT?! I lost!? Dragon laughs. He takes a step to get in Riggs' face. DRAGON You loser. At New Year Knock Out, you will lose more. RIGGS (unstrapping his guitar) Oh yeah? One more game. Let's pick something by, oh.......Jeff Jarrett. DRAGON Hmm? Jef.... *CRACK* Riggs brings his guitar around and slams it into DDD's face, sending him crumpling to the floor. Riggs throws it down and storms out of the room, leaving the camera to zoom in on an unconscious DDD as we fade. Commercial break

BOOM~! BOOM~! BOOM~! BOOM~! B-O-O-O-O-O-M~!~!~!~! The orange pyro shoots from the turnbuckles signaling the beginning of another edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Tonight, we come to you from Green Bay, Wisconsin, home of something that ends up stinking if left out too long......but enough about Brett Favre. Over to ringside and your hosts, The Coach and Michael Cole. COLE Good evening, everyone and welcome to HeldDOWN from Green Bay! We are still eleven days from Christmas, but apparently we couldn't wait to give our fans a gift. Tonight, Jonathan, could be a pay-per-view caliber show. COACH You aren't kidding. Tag titles on the line, a debut and TWO big main events. This means that next week's show's gonna suck, isn't it? COLE Coming up tonight, the HI-YAH Tag Team titles are on the line as the champions, Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph defend against D*LUX. Also, Alfdogg defends the Canadian Title against one time friend Thunderkid in a Christmas Deathmatch! COACH But the match that I'M waiting for is our main event. It has been simmering for months, but tonight, the feud between Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank will finally boil over as they will get it on in the ring in a "Career vs. Respect" match. If Zack wins, Bruce has to leave the OAOAST forever, but if Bruce wins, Zack will have to shake his hand in the middle of that ring in front of a worldwide audience! Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein" blasts through the arena, playing the Sooner Bruisers to the ring. Cue the flexing, or howwwwling in the case of the "Psycho Gremlin." COLE The bounce is once again back in the step of the World tag team champions after going into their title defense at November Reign focused as ever before. Little posing or playing for the cameras that night. As everyone who caught the event live or on replay knows, the Heavenly Rockers were on the verge of capturing the championship for a second time when, late in the match, Logan Mann had Big Frank pinned for a 10 count following a Percussion DDT. Unfortunately, the referee got caught in the crossfire in a battle between Uber and Synth, causing all 3 men to fall out to the arena floor, enabling Uber to come off the top moments later and smash one of the tag titles into the back of Mann's head for the 1-2-3. An act the Heavenly Rockers haven't forgotten about, as we'll hear in these pre-recorded comments. COACH (scoffs) Please. * SWOOSH * Close-up of a CLOCK, which just happens to be set at the exact time this segment is airing. Coincidence? I think not. *tick*tick*tick*tick*tick* LOGAN (Off-Screen) You hear that Bruisers? It's the sound of the time bomb ticking inside the Heavenly Rockers! At any moment... * BOOM * The clock EXPLODES. Synth and Logan, the Heavenly Rockers, emerge from the background. LOGAN (CONT'D) ...it could go off. Then actions will speak louder than words. SYNTH Now ya mutha[bleep]ers deal wit dat. * SWOOSH * COLE Wow. A strong message sent. Oh, my! And we're underway in this non-title match. * DING DING DING * The hell with the introductions! Big Frank decimates his un-named opponent with an array of suplexes, dropping him grotesquely on his heads and shoulders, only to pick the jobber right back up and fire him off into the ropes. TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! Staying on the attack, Frank follows one high-impact move with another, leaving the unknown jobber folded up like an accordion courtesy of a vicious DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB! But rather than go for the pin Frank tosses the poor guy near his corner, daring the fresh jobber to try his luck against him. Reluctant at first, and rightfully so, jobber #2 eventually tags himself in. Cockily, Frank points at his chin, giving the guy a free shot. * BOOM * Big dropkick levels Frank! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE What a cheapshot! COLE A cheapshot? How so? COACH Frank gave that fool a free shot... COLE And he took it. COACH (exasperated) You're supposed to punch the guy in the face as hard as you can, not throw a dropkick. That's such a punk move. He oughta be fined and suspended for that. A series of right hands staggers Big Frank. His adreanline flowing, the out-of-shape jobber mistakenly whips Frank to the Sooner Bruisers side of the ring, allowing the champs to make a blind tag. Frank ricochets off the ropes and back towards jobber #2, leapfrogging--LEAPFROGGING--over and quickly coming to a halt, drilling the guy with a Soonerline from the front as Uber does so from the back! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Sooner Bruisers may have just broken that young man's neck! COACH I think he's dead, Mikey. The guy damn near got his head torn off his shoulders on worldwide television. Such force behind those Soonerlines. COLE That is why the Sooner Bruisers are considered to be the most dominating tag team champions in OAOAST history. They don't give a damn whether or not you have a family to feed, they want to bruise you for live! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Jobber #1 has the balls to run in and breakup the count, drawing a spine-tingling chuckle from the Psycho Gremlin. COLE Anytime you're in the ring with the World tag team champions it's a big deal, but sometimes you have to know when to cut your losses and live to fight another day. COACH It's about time you said something intelligent, Cole. It only took you, what, 3 years? Uber sends his battered and bruised opponent into the ropes and runs him over, driving him straight back near his corner with a punishing shoulderblock. Instead of capitalizing on the situation Uber stays his ground and urges jobber #1 to come in and release some of that reserved energy he seems to have leftover from breaking up the pin attempt moments ago. Naturally, the guy looks to the crowd for answers, which is a resounding no. They know he'll get mauled by the Sooner Bruisers. Like a true babyface, jobber #1 walks into the lion's den fully aware of the consequences. The Psycho Gremlin meeting the fresh face youngster on the way in, riding him to the mat with an amatuer style takedown. Brought up in a front facelock, the youngester backs Uber against the ropes and lands a couple of stinging right hands to the gut. Uber reverses his attempted Irish whip in mid-move and powerslams the piece of enhancement talent on the rebound. He quickly scoops him overhead in a body vice and tags big brother. The Man of Tomorrow scales to the top, flexes the 25" anacondas, and drops the big elbow down across the chest! ONE... TWO... No, no, no says Big Frank. He doesn't want the match to end yet. In a direct shot at the Heavenly Rockers, he twirls the FINGER OF DOOM~! and hits the Frankensteiner for good measure. Uber steps in to prevent any save, but the other jobber is still out of it. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the OAOAST World tag team champions...THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUUISERS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH As Michael Cole gets set to interview Big Frank and Uber ringside, let's take a look at some of the explosive action we just witness live on TSM. * ROLL REPLAY * 1) Big Frank's tilt-a-whirl slam 2) His double underhook powerbomb 3) Leapfrog and Bruisers' double Soonerline 4) Uber's shoulderblock 5) Body vice/big elbow off top 6) The Frankensteiner COACH (Voice-Over) ...1-2-3, the Sooner Bruisers pick up the win here on HeldDOWN~! * END REPLAY * Ringside with Cole and the Bruisers, tag belts draped over the champs shoulders. COLE Another dominating performance... UBER Performance?! This ain't Hollywood, pretty boy announcer. It's professional wrestling! A man's sport. You gotta be tough to do what we do for a living, and all me and my brother like to do is cripple, maim and torture guys. Heh heh heh. COLE Oh, my. Ahem. Allow me to rephrase that then. Another dominating outing by the World tag team champions, the Sooner Bruisers. I'm not sure if our producers pre-screened the comments made by the Heavenly Rockers for you--and I wouldn't blame them if they didn't--but it's very clear to me and everyone else, Synth and Logan aren't through with you and their quest to regain the tag team championship. BIG FRANK Yeah, we heard what those junkies said. COLE Hey, come on. BIG FRANK How else would you explain it, Michael Cole? They have to be on something for them to continue to what a piece of the Sooner Bruisers despite getting their asses kicked every time we meet. Maybe they love the bitching that goes along with them losing to us. But let me tell you something, Mann, make all the "chemical enhanced" jokes you want because next time we're in the ring together I'm gonna suplex you on your head, knocking you unconcious and then I'm gonna do something Ned Blanchard told me your wife loves having done to her -- I'm gonna PISS in your mouth and have doctors -- hell, the Love Doctors if you want, to be on the up and up -- do a steroid test right then and there to shut your sorry ass up! COLE Okay. You know what? That's enough. Thank you for you time, gentlemen. UBER We ain't through until we say we're through. If you're not careful, pretty boy announcer, you might just end up like our opponents tonight. BIG FRANK Just to be perfectly clear, the next time the Sooner Bruisers and Heavenly Rockers meet...it will be the last time. Be careful what you wish for, Heavenly Rockers, because you just might get it. Now we're finished. Let's go Uber. UBER Ow, ow, ow, owwwwww! COLE The war of words between the Heavenly Rockers and Sooner Bruisers being taken to another level here tonight. Stay with us. More action still to come. Commercial break

Let's see if I can at least knock off the division leader. BAL - 28 Seattle (9.5) (3.5) Dallas Baltimore (11.5) Detroit New England (11.5) (3.5) Jacksonville Miami N.Y. Jets N.Y. Giants (5.5) Carolina Chicago (13.5) New Orleans (9.5) (2.5) Denver San Diego (8.5) St. Louis Cincinnati

I hear there's incentives that could do that, probably involving innings pitched or wins or something like that. It's about what I expected, $9-10M/yr

With how this season is going, it could end up being the Jets and Cowboys for all we know. San Diego's the AFC favorite right now, but that D isn't particularly dominating. Good, but not something to be relied on should LT be reigned in in January. I've got a question: Is it near the end of the line for Tony Dungy in Indy? It's not totally his fault that Dwight Freeney can't do anything but spin around like a top, but sending your line screaming up the field on every play, completely taking them out of a running play, isn't something a supposed great defensive mind would think would work.

"My Charlie Brown Christmas" The Scrubs cast lends their voices to a new version of the classic cartoon. Fantastic.

That'll probably happen next year. Dillon can run with that huge fork sticking out of his back for only so long, you know.

All I want to do is cost Bob the AFC East. I'm comin' for you, ya SNL lovin' bastard.

Don't you get revenue from the amount of page views or some crap like that (which is why banned posters can still view the board)? Wouldn't you want people refreshing every few seconds to rake in the nickels?

It didn't change the fact that they got their asses beat in, but I have to say, in a year of really bad officiating calls, Vince Wilfork getting flagged for roughing the passer after tripping over Joey Harrington HAS to be the absolute worst and indefensible call of the year.

Is it me, or was that finale kinda rushed? Maybe it's because the finales are usually two episodes back-to-back, but it seemed like they hacked this leg to death to fit it all in. I'm looking forward to the All-Star season.

Mike, have you ever typed the words "I will check on it a very day"? Taking ten seconds to look over your posts before sending would do a world of good. This isn't a chat room.

Wow. Sandman's been around since the beginning, so banning him would go against Mike's "Tenure=immunity" belief.

I don't know if it's the same on other cable systems, but you can watch the previous week's Conans commercial free on Comcast OnDemand. The show is available the day after it airs in the "Top Picks" section and is up for a week.

Denver fumbles deep in their own zone, so LT's got a shot.

The New England offensive line's performance today Rap music Hugh Jackman My local Best Buy not having Guitar Hero II

I'm randomly getting a blank white screen while trying to navigate around and have to refresh to get the page. Closing up shop for the weekend to iron out the kinks in the upgrade would have been a good idea there, Mike. EDIT: Just got it when I went to post this.

So am I supposed to add "BONZO GONZO" to every post from now on?

COLE Fans, I have just received word from the OAOAST Front Office about next week’s HeldDOWN~!. COACH You have? Well come on! Spit it out man! COLE Okay. Okay. I have just received word that...next week right here on HeldDOWN~!...according to the HI-YAH Championship Commitee, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick will defend the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship against...D*LUX! That’s right here next week on HeldDOWN~! COACH Whoa! D*LUX get their rematch next week! That’s going to be awesome! COLE Indeed it will, Coach. Another blockbuster match added on what is already a monumental HeldDOWN~! next week! We’ve got THREE action-packed matches scheduled for you, so don’t you miss any of the action next week on HeldDOWN~! And right now, it’s time for our main event. Just who will Spanish Fly face tonight? The lights go down in the arena. The crowd cheers. Two spotlights shine on the entrance doors. After five seconds... *KA-BOOM~!* Spanish Fly shoots out from underneath the entrance stage with pyro right behind him. Fly is wearing a Spanish Fly sleeveless shirt around his waist. "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Spanish Fly raises his right hand in the air, causing the crowd to cheer some more. "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi starts playing. Spanish Fly points to both sides of the arena and then walks to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Tijuana, Mexico, but now residing in San Diego, California. Weighing in at 175 lbs. He...is...SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! COLE Spanish Fly is going into the ring with a level of uncertainty in the air. We have no idea just who Spanish Fly will face! All we know is that he’s here and he’s ready! COACH You know Tha Puerto Rican set this whole thing up. He wants Spanish Fly, he wants that little pipsqueak to sweat. He wants him to worry. You see Tha Puerto Rican is greatly annoyed by Spanish Fly. And he can’t wait to squash him once...and for all. COLE This could be quite the match for Spanish Fly. Spanish Fly enters the ring and gets on a second turnbuckle. He raises his hands in the air to cheers. Spanish Fly gets off the turnbuckle, and heads to another second turnbuckle, raising his hands in the air again, receiving another pop from the crowd. Fly gets off the second turnbuckle and looks at the entryway, removing his Spanish Fly sleeveless shirt from his waist and throwing it into the crowd. The lights go back on in the arena as "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi dies down. The crowd also looks to the entrance. COACH Well who is his opponent going to be? COLE We’ll find out right now, Coach. The crowd anxiously awaits for the opponent to arrive. Spanish Fly paces back and forth in the ring as he waits. "LIGHTNING CREW!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The opening to "No Chance In Hell" fires up as the crowd stands up and boos loudly. The AngleTron shows a picture of Cuban Wall posing in front of a Cuban flag and CUBAN WALL written to the right side of the screen in big, white blocky letters. Red strobe lights flicker on and off in the entrance and smoke fills the entrance stage. The crescendo hits, and a lightning bolt hits the entrance. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got (Ha. Ha. Yeah.) Put up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and out from the smoke appears CUBAN WALL. The crowd’s boos get louder. COLE Uh-oh! And oh my! Cuban Wall is out here! Cuban Wall is Spanish Fly’s opponent!? COACH What a BRILLIANT choice from Tha Puerto Rican! Bravo, P.R.! Bravo! Cuban Wall looks at the crowd and then pumps his right fist in the air, then proceeds to walk down the entrance ramp to the ring, eyes focused solely on it, with an evil smile on his face. Wall gestures that he will hurt Fly, but Fly shows no fear as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From Havana, Cuba. Standing 6’7" and weighing in at 285 lbs. He is The Muscle for The Lightning Crew. CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNN WAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall flicks his wrists and cracks his knuckles. Wall shadow boxes a little bit, showing Fly just how much pain he’s in for. COLE Cuban Wall looks pretty pleased about this match. COACH Of course he is. This is exercise for him. It’s called Midget Tossing! HA! HA! HA! HA! COLE Oh come on! The 6’7" Cuban Wall is going head-to-head tonight against the 4’11" Spanish Fly. But Spanish Fly is showing no fear despite the gigantic obstacle that he has to overcome! Spanish Fly is not afraid of Cuban Wall! YODA He will be. He...will...be. Cuban Wall climbs over the top rope to enter the ring. Just then, Spanish Fly runs underneath Wall’s legs and leaves the ring! COLE Look at the quickness of Fly! Cuban Wall isn’t pleased with this, so he gets off the ring apron and chases Spanish Fly around the ringside area! CUBAN WALL Come back here you little brat! Wall chases Spanish Fly around the ring some more before Fly enters the ring. SF climbs the top rope, so that as soon as Cuban Wall puts his head in the ring, Fly jumps off the top rope and hits Wall across the neck with a legdrop! COLE Whoa! Legdrop on Cuban Wall! And the match hasn’t even started yet! *DING DING DING* COACH Now it has. CUBAN WALL vs. SPANISH FLY Cuban Wall exits the ring to regain his composure. Spanish Fly remains in the ring, and dares Wall to come back. COACH Spanish Fly attacked before the match started! He should be disqualified! COLE That’s the second time you’ve said that tonight, and no, that’s NEVER going to happen! Cuban Wall jaws with the fans, and then slides underneath the bottom rope into the ring. Spanish Fly charges forward, CAUGHT by Cuban Wall! COACH Your speed and quickness can only get you so far Spanish Fly! Wall has Fly caught in a goozle, causing the crowd to boo. Cuban Wall throws Spanish Fly into a turnbuckle like he is a ragdoll! COLE Oh my! Wall eyes Fly like a bull, and then charges forward...but Spanish Fly moves out of the way, and Cuban Wall hits the turnbuckle left shoulder first! Spanish Fly quickly goes for a schoolboy rollup...but Cuban Wall is just too big for Fly, so he won’t budge. COACH Honestly Fly, why do you even bother? COLE Because he has heart, that’s why! Cuban Wall stomps Spanish Fly, but Spanish Fly moves out of the way and leaves the ring. COACH Look at the coward run, that coward! Cuban Wall exits the ring to chase Spanish Fly around ringside again. Already Cuban Wall is winded from all the running that he’s doing. COLE Spanish Fly doing anything he can to win this match and stick it to Tha Puerto Rican! But Cuban Wall is right behind Spanish Fly, following him everywhere he goes. SF hides behind the ring steps. CW laughs at this, wondering just how dumb Spanish Fly thinks he is. COACH What the hell is this? Hide And Seek? Fight him, damn it! Cuban Wall gets into his predator pose. He rubs his hands together, spits out some tobacco juice, and then charges forward, kicking the ring steps forward! But Spanish Fly is nowhere to be found! COACH Hey! Where did he go? Cuban Wall is pissed, so he throws the top ring steps into the barricade. He searches for Fly around ringside, yelling out his name. Then, from underneath the ring, Spanish Fly reappears, climbing the top rope and waiting for Cuban Wall to get close to him. SEATED SENTON ONTO CUBAN WALL! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And Spanish Fly strikes with the Seated Senton! Fly knocking the Wall down! COACH This can’t be happening! That midget is embarrassing The Muscle of The Lightning Crew! COLE It’s happening Coach. Right here, live on HeldDOWN~! Cuban Wall gets right back up, and is PISSED~! Spanish Fly is shocked that Cuban Wall got back up so quickly, but remains cool, calm, and collected. Wall growls at the small Fly, who stands a few feet away from him. CUBAN WALL You want some of this, boy? Well come on and get it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COACH That move didn’t even faze Cuban Wall! Look at him. He popped right back up! COLE This is going to be a difficult battle for Spanish Fly. If you’re Spanish Fly, how the hell do you combat the 6’7" 285 pound Cuban Wall? COACH On a wing and a prayer. Cuban Wall charges forward, going for a clothesline. But Spanish Fly ducks, leaps onto the ring apron, and leaps back off it, going for a hurricarana on Cuban Wall! But Wall won’t move. COLE Oh man. This isn’t good. This is not good at all! COACH Get him, Wall! Spanish Fly sits on Cuban Wall’s shoulders, desperately trying to hit the hurricarana. But nothing works, as Cuban Wall has Spanish Fly right in his hands. Wall drops Spanish Fly down a little, almost as if he’s going for a powerbomb. Cuban Wall then grabs Fly like he’s about to throw a baseball... AND THEN SWINGS HIS BODY INTO A RING POST! Spanish Fly collapses onto the floor, holding his body in pain. COACH Yeah! Yeah! Get him Wall! Get him! Get him! Yeah! Cuban Wall laughs at the fallen Spanish Fly. Fly gasps for air. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" Wall ignores the crowd, telling Spanish Fly to get up. COLE And these fans are just on Cuban Wall! COACH He doesn’t care. He’s in control now, and that’s all that matters. COLE Let’s take an instant replay of that move right there. ****************************************************** Instant replay ****************************************************** COLE I’ve never seen Spanish Fly manhandled that way! COACH That’s because he’s never faced anyone like Cuban Wall, ever! CW stomps on Spanish Fly. Wall enters the ring to break the count, and then goes back out, grabbing Spanish Fly and throwing him back into the ring. CW follows him into the ring. COLE Spanish Fly was on fire at the beginning of this match, but Cuban Wall is in control now. SF is struggling to get up. Cuban Wall kicks him in the face just because he can. Wall picks up Spanish Fly by his mask, nearly ripping it apart, and then hoists him up in a fallaway slam position. COLE Oh no. We’ve seen this before. Cuban Wall taunts Fly, and then charges with him into a turnbuckle. Fly’s back hits the turnbuckle HARD! Wall then charges with Spanish Fly into the opposite turnbuckle. Fly’s back hits the turnbuckle HARD again. Cuban Wall then charges with Spanish Fly into a third turnbuckle. Same result as before. Wall then finishes this off by charging with Spanish Fly into the fourth turnbuckle. Second verse, same as the first. Finally, Cuban Wall finishes this by giving Spanish Fly a powerslam! COLE That signature move of Cuban Wall! Abusing the back of the smaller Spanish Fly! Wall gives the fallen Spanish Fly a dirty look. He kicks him in the face again. "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" Cuban Wall stands over Spanish Fly and taunts him. He grabs Spanish Fly’s neck with both hands, lifts him up, places him on his shoulders, and gives him a Death Valley Driver! COLE Into the air goes Spanish Fly! That was 175 lbs. that Cuban Wall just lifted onto his shoulders! COACH And look how easily Cuban Wall was able to do that move on Spanish Fly! This is all so simple for Cuban Wall! This match is going to be a piece of cake! Don’t believe me? Watch. Cuban Wall does The Lightning Crew Salute to loud boos from the crowd. He dares Spanish Fly to get up again. CUBAN WALL COME ON! COME ON! COLE Cuban Wall is just toying with Fly! COACH Hey, when you’re his height, you can do whatever you want to do. That’s my opinion. Referee Mike Chioda checks on Spanish Fly to see if he’s okay. Wall moves him out of the way and grabs Fly by his neck with both hands. Wall lifts Fly up and places him against a turnbuckle. CW chokes Spanish Fly with his bare hands, but lets go before the count of 5. Cuban Wall shouldertackles Spanish Fly, and one is enough to bring Spanish Fly down to the mat! COACH Oh ho ho! I am loving this! I am loving this very much! Cuban Wall laughs at Spanish Fly’s misery. He lifts Fly up again and places him against the turnbuckle again. Cuban Wall heads to the opposite turnbuckle, smiles evilly, and then charges forward for an Avalanche! SPANISH FLY MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! Cuban Wall holds his gut in pain as the crowd comes alive. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes, grabs the top rope...and hits Cuban Wall with a 6-1-9 to the gut! COLE 6-1-9! It connected to the gut...er...ribs. Cuban Wall holds his gut in pain, allowing Spanish Fly the chance to bounce off the ropes again, and hit a seated dropkick to Cuban Wall’s left ankle! Cuban Wall falls to the mat, but gets right back up. So, Spanish Fly hits him with a seated dropkick again to the left ankle. This time, Cuban Wall falls to his knees. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes again, and hits Cuban Wall with ANOTHER seated dropkick, to the back of Wall’s head, which sends Cuban Wall into the second rope where his head rests. "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE He’s in position! He’s in position! COACH No! No! NO! The crowd starts to come alive. Cuban Wall is stunned from the dropkicks. Spanish Fly looks at the crowd and smiles. SPANISH FLY 6-1-9! COLE He’s going for it! Time for the 6-1-9! Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes, runs forward, grabs the top rope-- AND IS CAUGHT BY MR. BORICUA! COLE And what the hell! What the hell is this? COACH Mr. Boricua is here! Mr. Boricua is here and all is right with the world again! Spanish Fly tries to fight free of Mr. Boricua’s grip, but Boricua hoists Spanish Fly over his head in a Gorilla Press Slam position and walks towards the barricade. COLE What the hell? OH MY GOD! NO! COACH YES! COLE NO! COACH YES! COLE NO! Mr. Boricua launches Spanish Fly over the barricade and into the crowd! COLE Mr. Boricua just tossed Spanish Fly into the crowd! About 10 rows deep! Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* (4:05) COLE The match is over! Well, how can we still have a match? Spanish Fly is knee deep in the crowd now! COACH What a fantastic move by Mr. Boricua! He did what no one else could do! He just did something that will be in the highlight reels for years to come! Mr. Boricua yells out to the crowd. He poses on the outside while Cuban Wall grins evilly in the ring. The crowd boos loudly. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COLE Let’s take--let’s take another look at that one more time. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Cut to Mr. Boricua grabbing Spanish Fly just before he is about to do a 6-1-9. COLE Cuban Wall was about to get hit with another 6-1-9, when Mr. Boricua showed up, grabbed Spanish Fly, and then, THREW HIM over the barricade and into the crowd! That was incredible! That was unbelieveable! That was-- COACH Undoubtedly one of the best things Mr. Boricua has ever done in his entire career. You just KNOW that Tha Puerto Rican is pleased at seeing this. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. We return to the live feed as Mr. Boricua continues posing on the outside. Cuban Wall is up and applauding Mr. Boricua saying, "Good job, Mr. B. Good job." COLE Colombian Heat defeated Stephen Joseph Popick earlier tonight, and now, Cuban Wall is the sole survivor as Spanish Fly is somewhere in this crowd. COACH Looks like both teams got some of each other tonight. COLE Indeed they did, Coach. And who knows just how much longer this rivalry will last? "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing again. Mr. Boricua yells out some more as Cuban Wall laughs manically. The crowd boos loudly. COLE What a night this has been on HeldDOWN~!. But next week will be even BIGGER! THREE blockbuster bouts for next week’s show including the much anticipated Zack Malibu vs. Bruce Blank match. Also PRL and Popick will defend the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles against D*LUX in a rematch, plus much more! And right now, I think Mr. Boricua just sent a message to D*LUX, Colombian Heat, and Spanish Fly! COACH Yeah, the message is, "Try us and you will get crushed!" Wonderful! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. We get another replay of Mr. Boricua throwing Spanish Fly over the barricade and into the crowd. Cut to another replay of it in slow motion. COLE I still can’t belive what I just saw. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua have just left Spanish Fly laying. He’s gonna need some help out here. COACH Eh, he’s a man. He can get up by himself. COLE But Coach, he--wait. Nevermind. Just...just nevermind. Fans, thanks for tuning in tonight. Be sure to check back here next week for what could quite possibly be the best HeldDOWN~! Ever! For Jonathon Coachman, this is Michael Cole saying so long and good night from Montreal! We’ll see you next week! Spanish Fly is nowhere to be seen in the crowd. Cuban Wall is gloating over his "victory" in the ring. Mr. Boricua is still yelling, grunting, and snorting. And cracking his knuckles. Mr. Boricua yells some more. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing as the crowd boos loudly. The last image we see is of Mr. Boricua yelling at the fans at ringside. The credits roll over that image and we FADE OUT

MATTHEWS Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time... Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Walking into shot with a beaming smile and only the slightest hint of a limp in his step, Landon hangs his arm over Josh's shoulder as if they were best buddies from way back. Of course, they're nothing of the sort, but Josh isn't going to do anything about it. I mean, it's not like he's a wrestler. Megan Skye joins her man as Josh composes himself. MATTHEWS Last week Landon, you were involved in one of th... MADDIX Ahbahbah... MATTHEWS ...last week, you won one of the craziest matches in HeldDOWN~! history, the Philadelphia Street Fight, along with Todd Cortez and Bloodshed. Now, you and your three opponents The Hooligans were offered the night off tonight, but you apparantly have a big announcement to make. MADDIX That's right Josh. By the way, good save. See, you're right about last week being one of the craziest matches in HeldDOWN~! history. Granted, I've never actually watched the show outside of scouting purposes and when I know I'm going to be on, but my point remains. There were guys flying off of balconies, guys going through tables, guys jamming staples into each other's flesh... it was straight nuts out there. But in amongst the chaos and the catastrophe, who's hand was raised in victory? Landon Maddix, ¡claro! See, I'm sure Bloodshed could have gone on all day mutilating Johnny, Scotty and Jamie, The Street Spirit Squad. And Cortez would have done his flippy-do-dad on the apron spot given half the chance. But when you need someone to get the job done, you rely on Landon Maddix... with just a smidgen of help from his trusty manageress. Megan smiles and pecks Landon on the cheek. MADDIX They always fall into the trap. It's seamless. One kick and now Mr. Jackson isn't so much Johnny as Michael, at least in the looks department. One kick. POW! And it was lights out. Taking the arm off from the shoulder, Landon runs a hand through the blond locks. MADDIX Ever since War Games, everywhere I go, I get nothing but mocking. People 'crying' and 'bawling' and 'tapping out' in my general direction. In public. We're delving into a shallow gene pool here Josh. I've been given nothing but disrespect. And I'm sick of it! Nevermind that I'm a two-time World Champion. Nevermind my reign as OAOAST 24/7 Champion. Nevermind that I am the SAVIOUR of the OAOAST! Landon throws his arms to the side on the word saviour, just incase you didn't get it. MADDIX Nevermind that I had a... metal spike... jammed into my nether regions at Syndicated. I was violated Josh, VIOLATED! Any man in my position would have done the very same thing I did, which was save my scrotum from uneccessary surgery by quitting against my better nature and living to fight another day. Those are grounds for mockery? Well, last week, I scored not one but two victories over The GPX. They're former Tag Team Champions, right? Pretty well respected? On Monday at November Reign I put down Scotty Static and last Thursday, Johnny Jax, 1, 2, 3. Well who's the object of ridicule now? Not me. Not I. Which brings me to the big announcement. To further prove I'm not a joke. It's about time yours truly started concentrating on my career, rather than the constant dealings with Malibu and his merry band of men. There's only so many times I can beat the GPXs of this world before I have to move onto bigger and better things. And with that said, it's my pleasure... to announce myself as the FIRST competitor officially entering himself into the 2007 Royal Rumble! Cue the cheesy grin from Landon as he basks in the glow of his announcement with Megan. MATTHEWS Landon... you realise that AnglePalooza is still nearly two months away, right? MADDIX (sighs) Yes, I realise that. MATTHEWS Just checking. MADDIX AnglePalooza might be two months or so away, but I'm already looking onward and forward. The Royal Rumble. 29 of the OAOAST's supposed best superstars and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. And one by one, those 29 second rate wrestlers are going to go soaring over that top rope, by my hands or otherwise, until only I'm left standing. MATTHEWS What makes you so confident of victory Landon... besides the obvious. I mean, we don't even know who's going to be in the field of 30 yet, let alone the random drawing. MADDIX Look, it's a simple matter of motivation. See, I'm entering the Royal Rumble for one reason... History! See, when I outlast those 29 wannabees, I will have created history. I will have achieved something no other man has done in this business. That being, becoming the first man EVER to have both the SWF Clusterfuck and the OAOAST Royal Rumble on their resumé... thus saving these people from yet another mediocre AngleMania main-event in the process. And then at AngleMania, I will become the first EVER man to win both the SWF and OAOAST World Heavyweight Championships and my name will go down in the annals of time! Landon Maddix- Leyenda de Lucha Libre! Still caught up in his fantasy world, Maddix wanders off aimlessly as we cut to the arena. PRL vs. "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant Backstage again. The lone figure of Stacey Robertson, girlfriend of Colombian Heat, is sitting backstage and apparantly waiting on her man to clock off for the day. As such. Stacey looks around for any sign of anyone and checks her watch as there's still no sign of her boyfriend. However a figure is looming towards her, that being Jade Rodez. JADE Hi, it's Stacey, right? Stacey looks up and apparantly recognises Jade, becoming very distant all of a sudden. STACEY Yeah. JADE Waiting for someone? STACEY Yes. JADE Okay. Good talk. So, what's it like dating a wrestler? Must be hard with him on the road so much, coz see, my brother he's a wrestler and he was always here, there and everywhere and I never really saw him that often, so if you... STACEY Listen, just because I'm alone you don't have to try and make small talk. A little surprised at the catty tone in the otherwise sweet and nice woman in front of her, Jade is taken aback for a moment. JADE I get it, you don't want to talk because of what's going on with Heat and my team. STACEY I don't usually socialise with people he hates. JADE And I suppose telling you it was a misunderstanding would be a waste of time too. STACEY Probably. JADE Well, in that case... LINDSAY Well well well. Suddenly both ladies look up as over saunters Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Tha Puerto Rican's beau, chewing a mouthful of gum as she folds her arms and glares at Jade and Stacey. LINDSAY Did they commission a Diva Search while I wasn't looking? JADE Been let off the leash, have we? LINDSAY That's rich. You know, I figured when your brother got taken out you'd realise your meal ticket was gone and take off with him, but apparantly not. Shame really. You must be hard up for money, now your little boyband friends are the former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions and MY boyfriend, the greatest Puerto Rican athlete in sports history, Tha Puerto Rican, is the Champion. JADE That's nice to hear. Because, after my brother took his last title I thought he might go off the deep end. Lindsay frowns. JADE Oh and as you're here, you can send a message to PRL that D*LUX won't be fooled for a second time and we're coming back for those titles that were stolen from us. STACEY They're going to have to get in the queue then. Surprised by the interruption, Jade wheels around. JADE Excuse me? STACEY Heat says that he and Spanish Fly are going after the titles too. And we all know my man would tear your boys apart. JADE With all due respect, we're former champions, they're not. STACEY So? JADE So? So, we deserve the next shot. STACEY Until Heat and Spanish Fly beat you, right? JADE Not gonna happen. STACEY Says who? JADE Says me! LINDSAY Girls, girls, girls, let's not fight. We all know that PRL and Popick are the champions for a reason. It doesn't matter which or your pathetic little teams steps up, PRL will knock them right back down. That's why I'm with him and you hangers on are with them. That and my good looks. Try all you want, but The Lightning Crew will make you look second-rate time and time again. I'm out. Lindsay divaishly (new word!) storms off and luckily, or unluckily depending on your viewpoint, Jade leaves in the other direction before any catfighting can ensue. STACEY These bitches around here are crazy! Commercial break

MICHAEL BUFFER NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEILSON!! COLE Welcome back fans we are almost underway here on HeldDOWN Bill Neilson is already in the ring ready for action Bill Neilson raises both clenched fists in the air as he’s announced to the crowd. Neilson paces back and forth in the ring as ”No Remorse” by Metallica is heard over the PA system. MICHAEL BUFFER And his opponent, from Dayton Ohio making his OAOAST Television debut tonight – ”The Lone Wolf” JAAAAAAAAAAAAMES WOLFENSTEIN!! Without much fanfare or even fan reaction really the man known as ”the Lone Wolf” in Japan steps through the curtains and into the spotlight. Since this is probably the first time any of the OAOAST fans have seen James Wolfenstein (unless you’re into obscure Japanese federations of course) his buzz cut, well build appearance doesn’t really get much reaction one way or the other. Not that it seems to bother Wolfenstein as just walks to the ring while adjusting his wrist tape. COACH Big man looks like he’s in good shape Cole COLE Indeed and he IS a graduate of the OAOAST wrestling school so you know he’s got skills or he’d still be in the gym. With the announcers really struggling for anything interesting to say abotu John Wolfenstein we go to the ring instead where Wolfenstein has stepped through the ropes, given his opponent a quick glance and then gone to a corner to adjust his knee pad. *DING!*DING!* Neilson figures that the best defense is a good offense and decides to jump John Wolfenstein before the big man has a chance to attack him. The double axe handle to the back may have been a mistake though as the Lone Wolf hardly even flinches on impact. He turns around and just looks at Neilson like a gnat that just bit him. Then he invites Neilson to hit him again. COACH Giving your opponent a free shot is not very clever you know COLE You’ve certainly never done it. COACH That’s cause I’m a master tactician COLE You’re a master something alright. Bill Neilson bounces off the ropes before coming straight at the young power house for a clothesline. But Wolfenstein apparently never promised to just take the move as he ducks under the arm, then grabs Neilson under the arm and around the neck and then throws him to the ground with a swift Uranage Slam *WHAM!* COACH Heh! COLE The guy’s got power you’ve got to give him that COACH And intensity, just look at him he even moves like a fighter Cole! The Lone Wolf takes a low wide stance as he waits for Neilson to get back to his feet, waiting for the right moment to explode out of his stance like a linebacker looking for a sack *THUD!* And sack he does as he lifts Bill Neilson off the canvas and then drives him down hard with a massive spear that makes most of the fans in the arena actually sit up and pay attention to the match in the ring. COLE He broke him in half! He could pin him with one finger if he wanted to Coach COACH I like this guy, I may have to talk to him after the show. Wolfenstein doesn’t pin Neilson though, instead he grabs him by the trunks, hauls him to his feet and then presses him over his head like it was nothing at all. After stalling for a moment with Neilson up in the air he lets his opponent drop straight down onto his shoulders and then into a Samoan Drop *WHAM!* After that the cover is more or less academic but Wolfenstein does go to the trouble of hooking the leg in the process. ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! *DING*DING* COACH After the opening… five seconds this match wasn’t even in doubt COLE Apparently James Wolfenstein doesn’t get paid by the hour MICHAEL BUFFER The winner in the match in 1 minute 20 seconds – “The Lone Wolf” JAMES WOLFENSTEIN!! After having his arm raised in the air by the referee James pulls his arm back and hops out between the ropes before proceeding straight to the back without even looking back at the ring or glancing at the crowd. Anglesault is seen sitting in his office, when a knock on the door is heard. ANGLESAULT Come in! Alfdogg walks in, flanked by Team Canada, getting an enourmous pop from the Canadian crowd. AS Alf, good seeing you again! You look unhappy. ALF You're damn right I'm unhappy! You saw what Thunderkid did last week, costing us the Six-man titles! I want to know what you plan to do about it. AS Well, what would you like done about it? ALF I'll tell you. Next week, we're in Green Bay, the home town of Thunderkid. I want him in a one-on-one match, I'll even put the belt on the line, and I'll embarass him in front of all his family and friends. *crowd cheers* AS I think I can manage that. ALF And I've got a week to think about what kind of match I want to put him through... AS Oh, you won't have to worry about that part, I already had something in mind. Next week, right here on HeldDOWN~! from Green Bay, Wisconsin, it'll be Thunderkid challenging Alfdogg for the Canadian title, in a CHRISTMAS DEATHMATCH~! *crowd cheers* COLE OH MY! Alf sports a half-satisfied, half-concerned look on his face. AS And wait just a minute...don't think for one minute I forgot about the Mammoth, Deon Black's actions during that match. So I've booked a match for our New Year's special. One-on-one, on New Year's, it'll be "The Manitoba Mammoth" Deon Black going one-on-one...with BROCK AUSSTIN! *crowd cheers* ALF (laughs) Is the Mammoth supposed to be intimidated by that? AS Well, I'd like you to keep in mind, that seeing as this show is fan-interactive, the fans will have the choice on what type of match these men will be competing in! ALF It doesn't matter, Sault! Brock doesn't stand a CHANCE against the Mammoth. Just like TK won't stand a chance against me next week. Now if you'll excuse me, Felix has a big match tonight... Just as Alf is saying this, Reject walks into the office, drawing boos. REJECT He certainly does, Alf. (turns to Strutter) I hope you're ready, little man, because this is a big match, the biggest of YOUR career, to be sure. Don't blow it! Reject then turns his attention to AS. REJECT So...you wanted to see me? AS Yes. And I'm glad I got the both of you here at the same time, because I have another match I've booked for our New Year's Special. This match will involve the X champion...the Canadian champion...and the 24/7 champion! *crowd cheers* AS It's going to be a triple threat match, and the fans will decide which of your titles will actually be on the line! REJECT So I can walk out of New Year's with two belts, then? This is a great idea! ALF I wouldn't make any plans on that if I were you. *off-camera voice* Neither would I! Bohemoth walks into the office, as the crowd cheers, and puts his arms around Alf and Reject. BO This is a TRIPLE-threat match, after all. And you're fogetting the biggest threat of all, and that would be me, the Metrosexual Monster. *crowd cheers* BO Alf already knows the destruction I release. On New Year's, you'll find out for the first time. And who knows...maybe *you'll* walk out of New Year's without any titles. *crowd cheers* BO See you then! Bo walks out, leaving Alf, Team Canada, and Reject in the office. COLE Man, we thought Bruce/Zack next week was a gift, but now Anglesault gives us a Christmas Deathmatch! COACH Since 'Sault is in such a giving mood, maybe I should go ask him for a raise. I'll be right back. COLE You're staying right here, Jonathan. As I just mentioned, next week Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank will go one-on-one in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Both men have been hard at work preparing for this monumental match and Mean Gene is backstage with a report. Gene? We cut backstage where lovable ol’ “Mean” Gene is standing by outside a locker room that’s guarded by 4 big, burly body guards (not OAOAST security) MEAN GENE Michael, Coach – I’m standing here outside the Wildcard’s locker room and I’m hoping to get a word with Bruce Blank about his big match next Thursday. Gene turns to one of the men and looks at him hoping to get the big guy’s attention, when the guy doesn’t move Gene presses his arm past him and knocks on the door *KNOCK*KNOCK* BRUCE BLANK Who’s there MEAN GENE Gene Okerlund BRUCE BLANK … That’s the crappiest set up for a knock-knock joke I’ve ever heard! Gene pauses for a moment to roll his eyes. MEAN GENE No I’m here about the match with Zack next week, can I have a few words BRUCE BLANK Sure … Nothing happens MEAN GENE Can I come in? BRUCE BLANK Oh you wanted to get *IN* as well as have a few words? Alright guys let the little ol’ man in. The bodyguards step aside to let “Mean” Gene enter the locker room. Gene looks a bit surprised to see all three Wildcarder’s just kicking back and relaxing with the TV set to TV Land in the background. When Gene sees that Bruce has a red brick in his right hand and that he keeps squeezing it over and over he asks the question that’s on everyone’s mind. MEAN GENE What’s with the brick? Bruce looks down at the brick in his hand, almost like he forgot he had it. BRUCE BLANK Never underestimate the importance of a good, firm handshake Gene, I have a feeling that I will be putting this hand to good use next week. MEAN GENE You could be using it to tear up your contract Bruce, have you really thought about that? BRUCE BLANK Nah MEAN GENE No? BRUCE BLANK No need, it’ll be the same old story – Bruce wins, Zack cries but has to shake my hand and admit that I am the better man. MEAN GENE And it’s going to be that easy? BRUCE BLANK Look at me Gene, no one in the OAOAST have been able to pin me in a one on one match, hell it took three opponents AND the interference of the lying, cheating amoral Zack Malibu to put me down MEAN GENE Well that’s certainly a … unique way of seeing it. BRUCE BLANK History will back me up on that one. Gene, have I lost? MEAN GENE War Games? BRUCE BLANK We all know who lost THAT one Bruce looks around but Landon isn’t in the room right now MEAN GENE The six man tag-team title match – you got pinned too. BRUCE BLANK like I said – after the interference of a lying, cheating hypocrite Gene takes a half step back so that he doesn’t get hit by the lighting that’s surely about to strike Bruce down. MEAN GENE It’s Zack Malibu Bruce, he’s one of the toughest guys in this place BRUCE BLANK He may have been… in the past, but you see after I’ve come onto the scene and become the OAOAST Icon and fan choice MEAN GENE *Gene coughs as he’s about to gag* BRUCE BLANK After I’ve become the man to symbolize everything the OAOAST is about he’s gotten jealous, petty, vindictive even – he can’t let little indiscretions go. MEAN GENE Little indiscretions?? Like breaking into his house? BRUCE BLANK Hey now we were just there to congratulate him on the new baby… like the nice guys we are. Gene is speechless, the fact that Bruce is actually trying to make himself look like the guy that’s been wronged has robbed him of the power of speech. MEAN GENE Well, Zack Malibu taped a message to you earlier today that I think you will be interested in seeing..... Gene puts a finger to his earpiece with a puzzled look as a smirk crosses Bruce's face. MEAN GENE What? What do you mean "we don't have the tape"? Where the hell is it? Suddenly, he feels something tapping his shoulder. He turns to see that Bruce is holding a videocasette in his free hand. BRUCE That's because it's right here. See, I knew that Zack was going to do one of his famous ANGRY PROMOS~! showing how intense he is and whatnot, but I'm sick of his words. I'm sick of hearing him talk and talk about how he's going to do this and going to do that to me, so I approached one of our fine OAOAST production assistants and.....well, let's say I was very persuasive. (Holds up tape) Want to know what this message means to me? Bruce tosses the tape over his shoulder, sending it to the floor with a clatter. He looks into the camera and a scowl crosses his face as he whirls around....and throws the brick right at the tape, the impact shattering the case and spilling out some of the film. BRUCE That. The time for talking is over. JOY Bruce darlin’ you ready? Gene turns around and sees this long legged, bleach blonded, big hootered trailerpark queen chewing gum as she looks disinterested. BRUCE BLANK (regaining his composure) Ah right yes. Gene Other than a firm handshake it’s also important that my hand looks really good for the close ups next week. MEAN GENE Close ups? BRUCE BLANK Of Zack shaking my hand, it’ll be a picture for the ages and well I want my hand to look GOOD! So I called my ex-wife Joy MEAN GENE Goodevening Ma’am JOY Yeah whatever old man. Can we do this Bruce? Bruce sits down and places his right hand on her little manicure pad. JOY Alright the other one as well BRUCE BLANK Nah, he’s not shaking that one, just make sure my right hand is nice and groomed and moisturized and everything Gene just shakes his head as Joy pulls out a nail file and starts to work on Bruce’s fingers. Instead of sticking around to see Bruce get the full manicure we cut back to Cole and Coach in Sofa Central. COLE God I hope Zack takes that manicured hand and sticks it up Bruce’s…. COACH You won’t hear an argument from me Michael. I can’t wait until Zack shuts that big mouth up once and for all next week. Imagine it Cole – an OAOAST without Bruce Blank COLE Sounds pretty damn good to me Coach. Tom Sawyer hits, and the crowd goes wild as Felix Strutter comes to the ring accompanied by Rick Heyross. COLE X-title about to be on the line! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST X-division championship! Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied by his manager, Rick Heyross...from Thunder Bay, Ontario, weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFELIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRR!!!!! COLE Felix Strutter with his first shot at a singles title tonight! As Strutter grabs the mic from Buffer, Renagade hits and Reject makes his way down the aisle, to boos. BUFFER His opponent, hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST X-division champion...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! Reject gets to the ring, and stops at the apron to jaw with a fan, then gets hit with a baseball slide! *DING DING DING* Reject is sent to the ground by this move, and when he gets up, he's met with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! from Strutter! Strutter then starts delivering right hands! COLE And Felix Strutter coming out of the gate quickly! Strutter jumps up, to the cheers of the crowd. He takes them in for a second, then tosses Reject back inside. He backs Reject into a corner, but Reject quickly ducks underneath the ropes, and the referee backs Strutter off. Reject then attacks from behind! COACH But Reject knows all the little tricks and now it's him in control! Reject then grabs a side headlock. He cinches it in, but Strutter backs him into the ropes, then pushes him off. Reject comes back and knocks Strutter to the mat, then hops over as Strutter flips to his stomach. Strutter then hops up and delivers an armdrag! COLE Nice move by the challenger! Reject gets up, and is immediately caught in another armdrag! Strutter motions for Reject to "come on", as the crowd cheers. COLE And Strutter holding his own against the X-champion here, are you surprised, Coach? COACH Well, I wouldn't say that, but he better not make Reject mad here! Strutter and Reject tie up, and Reject delivers a knee to the midsection. He then goes for an Irish whip, but Strutter reverses, and tries a dropkick, but Reject hooks the ropes! Reject then backs Strutter into the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH WOW, listen to that! Strutter sinks in the corner, and Reject picks him up and whips him across the ring. Reject charges, but Strutter hops over and executes a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject hops up, and is caught in a bodyslam! Reject reaches back with his feet, and kicks Strutter off, then gets up and delivers his own bodyslam! Strutter then kicks off Reject in the same fashion, and catches him in a side headlock as the crowd applauds! COLE What action here in this matchup for the X-title, and the crowd is loving it! Reject battles his way back to his feet, and pushes Strutter off into the ropes once again. Strutter ducks a clothesline, and catches Reject with a spinning wheel kick! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject shoves Strutter out to the floor on the kickout, but Strutter gets right back up and delivers a shoulder to the gut, then slings over the ropes for a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject charges with a clothesline, but Srutter ducks and delivers a foot to the gut, followed by a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Strutter then backs Reject into the ropes for an Irish whip. Reject ducks a clothesline, then catches Strutter with a BIG spinning wheel kick of his own! COACH Whoa! COLE What a shot that was from Reject, into a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject gets to his feet, and stomps away at Strutter, then picks him up, and delivers a high dropkick, sending Strutter rolling to the floor! Reject does the arms outstretched pose once again, as he is showered with boos. COLE You hear the reaction from this partisan Canadian crowd, as the advantage is all Reject now! Reject waits on Strutter to slide through, then drags him into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! COLE WOW! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a second! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Strutter sinks down, allowing Reject to deliver some forearm shots to the back. He then stomps Strutter as he lays on the mat face down. Reject then picks him up, and lifts him in a suplex, letting the blood rush to the head, then falling back and floating over for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject tosses Strutter to the outside, then follows him out, picking him up and ramming his back into the ringpost! COLE And Felix Strutter tastes the steel! Reject rolls back into the ring and poses some more, and the reaction from the crowd never changes. Strutter crawls onto the apron, and Reject pulls him up by the hair and through the ropes. He lifts Strutter onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry, then flips him over onto his knee! COLE And here's that backbreaker, right into the submission hold! Reject keeps Strutter positioned, and applies a surfboard! COACH Reject wrenching back on the hold, using the wrists of Strutter and pulling back! Reject pulls back, as Strutter tries to get his feet underneath him. After some struggling, he does, as the crowd cheers him on! COLE And the crowd here in Montreal strongly behind "After Hours" Felix Strutter! Strutter bridges up, then breaks the grip of Reject, and hiptosses him to the mat! Strutter goes to the ropes for a somersault splash, but Reject brings the knees up! COACH Oof! COLE The flip splash attempted, but lands right on the knees of Reject, who's going to the top rope! Reject goes to the top, and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK~! COACH Wrap it up! 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets a shoulder up! COLE And Reject NOT happy with the speed of the count! Reject has a finger right in the face of the referee, as Strutter sneaks up and schoolboys him, pulling the tights for leverage! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Almost a new champion right there! Reject catches Strutter with a roundhouse kick to the midsection, then takes him down and covers him with his feet on the ropes! 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE And they're pulling out all the dirty tricks now! Reject goes to the eyes of Strutter, and Strutter returns the favor! Strutter attempts an Irish whip, but Reject reverses, sending Strutter into the corner. Reject charges, but Strutter moves out of the way! Strutter then delivers a foot to the gut, followed by a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Reject gets the shoulder up! COACH And Reject kicking out just in the knick of time! Reject rakes the eyes of Strutter, then delivers a foot to the gut, setting up for the PITCH BLACK~!!!111, but Strutter blocks, and sets up Reject for a slingshot, delivering right in the corner, then tripping him up and applying the STF~!!! COLE STF applied! Could have it right here! The crowd rises to its feet as Reject screams in pain. The referee checks on him, with his hand in the air ready to call for the bell at any second. Reject, however, fights the pain and is able to pull himself to the ropes! COACH And look at him fight it and get to the ropes! Reject pulls himself up using the ropes, and Strutter grabs his leg and pulls him to the center...only to be hit with an ENZIGURI~!, which sends him for a 360! COLE And a big move from Reject, the enziguri! Reject slowly gets to his feet, and delivers another CHOP~!, this one knocking Strutter right off his feet! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject goes up to the top rope, and measures Strutter. He attempts a SOMERSAULT SENTON~!, but Strutter rolls out of the way! Strutter then pulls himself up, and charges Reject, hitting a floatover DDT! He rolls Reject over, and covers... 1... 2... NO! Reject gets the shoulder up! COLE Wow, this is an amazing match! Strutter whips Reject into a corner, and charges. Reject backdrops him to the floor, but he lands on his feet, and trips up Reject from behind! COACH Oh, no! COLE Oh yes! Strutter pulls Reject back, crotching him into the post! Strutter then rolls back in, and whips Reject into the ropes, going for a tilt-a-whirl! However, Reject spins through, and scoops Strutter for a TOMBSTONE~! However, Strutter leans to his side and reverses the move! COLE Both men going for the tombstone! Who will complete the move? Reject goes over the shoulder, and lifts Strutter, but Strutter reverses it one more time, and drives Reject into the mat! COACH It's Felix! 1... 2... NO!!! Reject kicks out! COACH Whew! This is great! Strutter stands up and delivers a European uppercut, then picks up Reject, and delivers a TIGER SUPLEX~! 1... 2... NO!!! Reject escapes! Strutter signals for the end! COLE He says it's over! COACH And that can only mean one thing! Strutter picks up Reject, and delivers a foot to the gut, setting up the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111, but Reject backdrops out! Reject sizes up Strutter, and attempts the EULOGY~!!!!!11111, but Strutter shoves him off into the ropes, and their heads crack, sending them both to the mat, as the crowd gives a standing ovation! COACH A tremendous match for the X-division here on HeldDOWN~! The referee begins to count... ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! FOUR!!! FIVE!!! SIX!!! SEVEN!!! EIGHT!!! Strutter sits up, then starts to get to his feet. Reject follows, then goes for a spin kick, which Strutter ducks, and delivers a foot to the gut! He sets up once again for the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111...but Reject spins out, and catches Strutter with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COACH HE GOT IT! COLE Reject with the Eulogy! He hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And Reject retains, what a tremendous match! BUFFER The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST X-division champion...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! As Reject walks back to the dressing room, Strutter gets to his feet in the ring, and the crowd stands to its feet and cheers him on. COLE Tremendous effort by Felix Strutter, but coming up short tonight, as Reject retains the X-championship! We've got more coming up, so stick with us! Commercial break

COLE Back on HeldDOWN from Montreal. Thanks for joining us tonight. (In his “This is serious” voice) At November Reign we watched in horror as the despicable Ramone Gutierrez and his crony El Esperito target Venom’s already injured neck. COACH The guy is intense Cole that’s all, it’s not his fault that Venom is so delicate COLE Delicate? Ramone was the one that hurt him in the first place, he just used November Reign to finish the job. COACH The word is “intense” Cole COLE (Ignoring Coach) Venom was taken to the hospital that night and has been kept there for observations. We were at the hospital earlier today when Venom and the rest of the Space Cadets were told the exact extends of his injuries. ”Earlier Today” We see Venom in street clothes, a hard plastic neck brace and his trademark mask along with the other Space Cadets. They’re gathered in the doctor’s office. DOCTOR After the initial swelling went down we discovered that the injury was not as bad as initially feared. There is no damage to the spine itself. Venom breathes a cautious sigh of relief. DOCTOR With the proper treatment and medicine you should come out of this with no long term side-effects, PROVIDED that you take it easy and do not strain it again for a while. Venom and the others exchange a quick glance and a smile, they were afraid the doctor was about to tell them that Venom’s career is over – thankfully the news isn’t as bad as all that. DOCTOR I want to reiterate this though – If you reinjure your neck it COULD mean the end of your career. I don’t want to see you jumping back in the ring too soon okay? Venom says something in Japanese but since this isn’t the time for the comedy voice over it’s subtitled instead. VENOM (Translated) ”Thank you Doctor, it pleases me that it is good news. You have my word that I will not return to the squared circle until I am medically cleared.” DOCTOR Good. You are free to go home then. Venom shakes the doctor’s hand before the Space Cadets leave the doctor’s office. Once they’re outside the office the four of them huddle up to discuss a few things VENOM (Translated) ”I think it’s best if I stay away from the arena, I do not trust Mr. Gutierrez” DISCOVERY (Translated) ”He is lower than a snake’s belly, you are right not to trust him.” SUPERNOVA (Translated) ”We came to America to entertain the crowd, but now we’ve got a different mission Space Cadets – We must avenge Venom, we must make sure that Ramone Gutierrez never huts anyone else ever again. Are you with me?” Supernova puts out his hand and the other three Space Cadets quickly put their hand on top of it. EVERYONE (Translated) ”1-2-3 SPACE CADETS!!” * Fade Out* COLE It looks like the Cadets have a new purpose, Coach. COACH After what we saw Ramone Guitierrez do to one of them, they may have just made a suicide pact. COLE Ramone is in action up next, but first, let's take you back to November Reign..... November Reign Flash Forward COLE I think it was obvious from the start that Gutierrez didn’t like Kawada. COACH I can’t blame him Cole, I mean the guy did attack him. COLE It was an accident Coach! COACH Yeah, yeah so were you. ”Smells like Teen Spirit” MICHAEL BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, introducing first: From Tokyo, Japan – HI-YAH’s favorite son here is KENJI KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-WADA!! The Pittsburg crowd cheers a bit as Kenji steps out into the arena looking 100% serious and deadpan as he heads towards the ring. He slaps a few hands but otherwise just walks to the ring and enters the ring. Kawada takes of his long pleather coat and sunglasses and then patiently waits for his opponent to come out. MICHAEL BUFFER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND his opponent, from Cuba via Miami Florida... RAMONE!! JUAN!! HEY-SUS!! GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTIERREZ!!! Ramone steps out of the door and right in front of the big screen TV as he arrogantly smirks to the camera. He stops and points to the screen as it shows a recap of Ramone’s battle with the Space Cadets including the two Ramone’s Ways on Venom from November Reign. COLE November Reign had a lot of action, a lot of impact but few people made a more brutal showing than this guy COACH Can’t forget El Esperito, the two of them really did a number on Venom. As on cue the masked Cubano is joined by the white faced, grinning El Esperito who seems to be Ramone’s newfound partner in crime. The contrast between the two couldn’t be much greater if they were a jock and a nerd, Ramone is laid back, calm, cool while El Experito is much more animated getting into it with a couple of fans at ringside as the dastardly duo make their way to the ring. COACH Come on Cole aren’t you going to give us all sorts of useless facts about this guy in the ring? COLE Kawada? Well I could tell you that he’s a several times HI-YAH Junior champion and perennial challenger for the World title COACH And that he came up short against both Zack Malibu and Faqu this year. COLE Short? He and Malibu had an absolute brilliant 37 minute match earlier in the year COACH Which he lost COLE And then took Faqu to a 60 minute draw once and then pushed him for 43 minutes… COACH Until he lost, that’s my point he can’t take the pressure Cole COLE We’ll see Ramone hands a ringside attendant his gold rings, Rolex watch and designer shades with the customary warning. Then he gives El Esperito a little nod, signaling for El Esperito to get up on the apron to distract Kawada. Kawada turns and looks at the man on the apron as Ramone quickly turns the corner and then slides under the bottom rope behind Kenji Kawada’s back. COLE Sneak attack, he can’t even face Kawada face on COACH Are you saying he’s going to Pearl Harbor him? COLE That’s just tasteless Coach. Ramone jumps Kawada from behind with a double axe handle to the back of the head, knocking the Japanese superstar into the ropes with his throat against the top rope. Gutierrez is quick to take advantage of the position by leaping over the top rope while holding on to Kawada’s hair so that his throat is yanked down hard against the ropes. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ramone is only on the floor for a second before he climbs up on the apron again and then leaps over the top rope hitting the now prone Kawada across the throat with a leg drop. After a quick pose to the crowd just to show how superior he is Ramone casually covers Kawada ONE!! One is all he gets as Kawada kicks out with authority and then quickly springs back to his feet finally looking truly fired up tonight. Ramone strikes first with an overhead chop that hardly phases Kawada, then he hits him with a proper knife edge chop to little effect. Gutierrez changes tactics and hits Kawada in the chest with a leaping kick. Kawada only takes a step back and then dares Ramone to hit him again, Ramone looks like he’s going to take the challenge but instead ends up kicking Kawada on the side of the knee to weaken it. COLE Oh low blow! COACH Erm no that’d be in a different area of the body there Michael Ramone’s Yakuza kick knocks Kawada clean out of the ring to the floor where the Japanese superstar takes a moment to clear his head as Ramone struts around the ring like he’s won the match already. The moment Kawada turns his back to the ring Ramone starts running straight towards him, when Ramone leaps over the top rope Kenji Kawada casually steps to the ring and just looks at Ramone as he lands on the floor instead of hitting his intended target. COACH Son of a b… COLE He broke the fall with his face, that CANNOT be good. COACH Here let me throw you out of the ring onto your face then you can tell me how it feels. COLE I’ll pass thank you. Kawada rolls into the ring to break the count, but as soon as the referee takes his hands down Kawada is outside again. He picks Ramone up, leans him back against the guardrail and then *CHOP!* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Kawada grins as he lines up for another… *CHOP!* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! With Ramone under control Kawada grabs his opponent by the neck and arm and throws him under the bottom rope into the ring. Kawada enters the ring only seconds later, knocking Ramone back down to the ground with a boot to the face before Gutierrez can get to his feet. COLE Kawada is taking full control of the match! COACH I think he’s going for the Orange Bomb!! Kenji pulls Ramone up close, placing Ramone’s head between his legs looking to underhook the arms for the Orange Bomb. The second Ramone feels Kawada trying to underhook his arms he freaks out and pushes backwards away from Kawada, away from the Orange Bomb. Kawada can’t help but smile as he sees just how the Orange Bomb freaked out Ramone. Esperito yells encouragements in Spanish while clapping and trying his best to boost Ramone’s confidence. COLE Oh I wish he would shut up! I can’t stand loud mouthed blowhards COACH You ever see a shrink about that? COLE About what? COACH Your obvious self-loathing After calming down Ramone approaches Kawada with his hands up, looking for a lock up. The moment the gullible Kawada puts up his hands Gutierrez pokes Kawada in the eye and then whips him into the ropes. Esperito reaches in and snags Kawada’s foot, not enough to trip him up but enough to make him stop and turn around towards the ghoul on the floor. COLE EYES FRONT!! *SMACK!!* Kawada pays for his momentary lack of attention as Ramone nails him with a super kick the moment he turns around. The kick knocks Kawada into the corner, trapping him as Ramone picks up speed, leaps up on the middle rope and then drills Kawada with a knee to the chest. His momentum carries him over the top of Kawada after striking him with the knee taking him to the apron behind Kawada’s back. Ramone drops down to the floor, grabs Kawada by the feet and then pulls back hard. Ramone pulls Kawada off his feet and then yanks backwards hard with a leg on either side of the ring pole COACH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Right on the mommy/daddy button! Ramone high fives his partner in crime before leaping up on the apron and then slides into the ring living it up as the crowd boos him. The man known as “the scar” decides to add injury to insult as he lands a sliding drop kick to Kawada’s face as the Japanese superstar tried to crawl out from the corner. Ramone grabs Kawada’s hands and drags him into the middle of the rope, pausing only to drag his thumb across the throat to signal “the end” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! COACH Ramone is going up, this is going to be BIG Cole COLE Listen to the crowd, they’re NOT happy with Ramone’s antics COACH Who cares? He’s about to win the match and frankly that’s all that matters Ramone perches on the top rope, for a moment before leaping forward while twisting his body for a twisting Senton KNEES UP!! COLE KAWADA BLOCKED IT!! Ramone strike’s Kawada’s knees at full speed, rolling off his intended victim as he writhes in pain from the counter. Kawada gets to his feet, still a bit tender from being posted only moments ago. Opting to go for a low risk, high impact offence Kawada knocks Ramone down with a facewash/jaw kick combo and then drags his Cubano opponent back to his feet… and into the set up for the Orange Bomb YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! COACH No, no, no no! El Esperito seems to have the same thought as he swiftly reaches through the ropes and grabs Kawada’s leg to distract him. Ramone drops to his knees as the referee goes over to admonish El Esperito and thus totally misses Ramone driving his right hand up between Kawada’s legs HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRHH!! Kawada sinks to his knees as Ramone drags himself up by the ropes grinning from ear to ear over the pain he’s inflicting on his opponent. Gutierrez pulls Kawada back to his feet and then pushes him back into the corner to punish him with an elbow to the chest, followed by a second elbow. While they seemed to be hard Kawada seems to not think so as he fires back with a lethal right elbow of his own that knocks Ramone back, giving him a breather. Ramone looks pissed off that his elbows were no-sold and decides to lay into Kawada again with two elbows to the chest. After the second elbow Kawada’s eyes widen as he rears back and then *BOOM!* Nails Ramone in the chest knocking him back, staggering until he falls to his knees from the impact. COACH Those things are LETHAL! I mean did you hear the impact COLE It sounded like when you take a baseball bat to a side of beef COACH Is that something you do a lot Cole? Some sort of odd habit you kept secret until now? Kawada leans back in the ropes, waiting for just the right moment. When Ramone gets back to his feet Kawada comes charging out of the corner right arm raised for the stinging lariat he’s known for in Japan. The moment Kawada is about to connect El Esperito reaches through the ropes and pushes Ramone out of the way causing Kawada to end up in the ropes instead tangling his right arm up between the middle and top rope as he flips over COACH Ah what rotten luck, tough break COLE Are you blind? Esperito pushed Ramone out of the way COACH *PFFFFFFFFFFF* Ramone was way to quick and way to clever to fall for something as obvious as the lariat. With Kawada’s arm trapped Ramone has the perfect opportunity to do some real damage to that pesky right arm that’s already punished him several times tonight. Ramone steps up on the middle rope and then begins to pull up on the top rope, increasing the pressure on Kawada’s trapped arm. After jumping up and down on the arm for a couple of bounces Ramone backs off professing his innocence to the referee along the way. Kawada manages to pull himself back up on the apron but he only has firm ground under his feet for a moment before El Esperito runs past him and sweeps the legs out from under him. The good news is that the sudden drop actually pulled Kawada’s arm out from the ropes, the bad news is that Kawada landed right at the feet of El Esperito and Ramone still has the referee distracted. Instead of attacking the fallen Kawada he reaches down and pulls the protective pad off Kawada’s right arm and then throws it into the crowd COLE Can’t someone get rid of that white ass? COACH What? What’d he do? He’s just out here to cheer on his tag-team partner. COLE Yeah right! Esperito backs off the moment the referee turns around and starts to count Kawada out. ONE!! Kawada is on his knees, cradling his right arm as he tries to gather his senses. TWO!! It doesn’t even look like Kawada has heard the count as he just sits there, or maybe the pain is drowning the count out THREE!! Kawada finally realizes what’s going on and crawls over towards the apron with dogged determination. FOUR!!! Just as he grabs hold of the bottom rope he notices El Esperito coming at him at full speed. FIVE!! COLE He ducked!! Kawada ducks under Esperito’s assault causing Ramone’s crony to bounce off the ringpost with a sickening thud. SIX!!! With some effort Kawada reaches up and grabs the middle rope, hoping to use it to pull himself back in the ring. SEVEN!!! Ramone keeps his distance, he doesn’t want to inadvertently break the count and help the struggling Kenji Kawada out here. EIGHT!!! On Eight HI-YAH’s favorite son pulls himself up on the apron much to the delight of the crowd.. NINE!! And then rolls under the bottom rope, beating the count at the very last moment. Ramone leaps on his opponent and quickly manages to apply the Fujiwara Armbar, or the Switchblade as he calls it. COACH That’s it, he’s got him COLE Kawada is in the ropes Coach, he can’t win like that COACH Give me a break, Ramone had him fair and square and Kawada took the coward’s way out. COLE Coward? He hardly even had time to climb all the way through the ropes when Ramone attacked him. Ramone pulls back on the arm but is soon forced to release the hold when the referee informs him that Kawada is in the ropes. Instead of backing off Ramone puts one foot on the middle rope to give him extra height as he leaps up for a stomp. Ramone plants his boot right on the elbow of Kawada inflicting even further damage to Kawada. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! After the kick he backs off, he figures it’s easier to let Kawada crawl away from the ropes than him dragging the 245 pounder, and it gives him an opportunity to leap up on the middle turnbuckle to proudly proclaim RAMONE NOBODY MESSES WITH RAMONE GUTIERREZ!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! When he sees Kawada staggering to his feet he quickly leaps from the second rope to the top rope, bouncing into a beautiful moonsault in one swift motion. Kawada sidesteps the moonsault, but Ramone seems to have anticipated this as he lands on his feet. One stiff kick to the midsection later and Ramone is bent over in the perfect position for the ORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE BOMBAAAHH!!! Kawada ignores the pain in his right arm and manages to nail the sit down power bomb on Ramone. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Unfortunately for Kawada the move takes so much of him that he’s not even able to maintain the pinning predicament on Ramone but instead rolls over while cradling his right arm in agony. COLE Oh man he could have had him right there, this could have been sweet revenge for Kawada COACH Are you blind? He didn’t pin him, Ramone has the match where he wants it COLE Are YOU blind? Ramone hasn’t moved since Kawada hit the Orange Bomb on him COACH Details Cole, mere details. The crowd slowly begins to clap to encourage Kawada to keep on fighting the good fight. After a few moments the backing of the crowd seems to bring Kawada back around as he slowly manages to use his left hand to drag himself to his feet. He’s obviously in pain and worn out from the long match but Kenji Kawada is not the kind of fighter to give up when the going gets tough. When he reaches down to grab Ramone he finds out what kind of fighter Ramone is as he suddenly springs to life and rolls Kawada up with a small package ONE!! TWO!! But not three, as hurt as he is Kawada manages to roll the small package over and get on top of Ramone ONE!! TWO!!! El Esperito pushes Kawada rolling Ramone back up on top of Kawada in the small package ONE!! TWO!! THR-KICKOUT!! Kawada manages to kick out at the last possible second much to the delight of the crowd. COLE Unreal! How did he manage to kick out Ramone gets back on his feet and then kicks Kawada more or less right between the eyes, followed by another swift kick to the face. Gutierrez rolls Kawada over onto his stomach and then locks his hands around Kawada’s waist for a German suplex. *WHAM!* Ramone doesn’t release the hold on impact but instead rolls over to get back on his feet looking for a second German suplex on Kawada. But the second German Suplex never happens as Kawada catches Ramone upside the head with a left elbow he swings wildly to escape more German Suplex related punishment. Ramone staggers back grasping the side of his head as Kawada decides to capitalize on the opening with a running attack COLE RAMONE LEAPFROGGED HIM!! Ramone manages to leap over the charging Kawada so that the Japanese Superstar ends up hitting the turnbuckle instead of his opponent. COACH HERE IT COMES!! Gutierrez is quick to grab Kawada by the wrist, twist his body around and thus bring Kawada to the ground in the perfect position for the… COACH SWITCHBLAAAAAAAAAAAADE!! Ramone has it locked on perfectly with Kawada far enough away from the ropes and everything. Because of the damage Ramone and Esperito have inflicted on Kawada he doesn’t last long in the switchblade before *TAP!* *TAP!* *TAP!* * DING!*DING!*DING!* MICHAEL COLE The winner of the match in 27 minutes, 18 seconds RAMONE!! JUAN!! HEY-SUS! GUTIERREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!! COLE What a heartbreaking loss for Kawada, he was SO close on several occasions COACH You know what you call people who get “close” but don’t win? They’re losers Cole, Kawada is a loser COLE He fought a hell of a match Coach, he may not have won but that man is not a loser. COACH Well you would be the foremost expert on losers. COLE I'm telling Santa you're being bad. Back with more in a bit. El Esperito has to help the exhausted and hurt Ramone out of the ring and then supports him as they make their way backstage, even though he won he did not walk away from this unharmed, quite clearly Kenji Kawada gave him one of the toughest battles of his career. Kawada remains in the ring for a while, looking disappointed that he lost and disgusted with who he lost to. Commercial break

This New Year's Day, there won't be a GM in control... COLE AXEL SLAM! AXEL SLAM! ...no authority figure in control... IT'S ANGLESAULT~?!?!??! ANGLESAULT IS HERE ON HELDDOWN~! ...no recently divorced pseudo celebrities in control... **THIS ANNECDOTE REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS** ...because, this New Year... ANGLESAULT YOU'RE gonna be in control! It's the first ever, completely interactive event in OAOAST history, where YOU decide the challengers, the challenges and the stipulations! ANGLESAULT All with the power of your interweb machines! *NEW YEAR'S SPECTACULAR: MAINFRAME MONDAY!* January 1st, 2007; Daytona Beach, Florida COLE This New Years day Mainframe Monday brings you a 20 man X-Division Gauntlet match. COACH That’s right Cole, it’s the New Year’s Knock Out! We’ve already got some of the names confirmed with more to be announced. COLE And what a list it is – the HI-YAH champion Faqu takes time out from his busy Japanese schedule, James Blonde is also taking time out from his HI-YAH tour. COACH What I’m looking forward to is the technical brilliance of James Riggs and Felix Stutter will blow your mind I just know it. COLE Rounding out the list of announced participants are Dance Dance Dragon, Ramone Gutierrez, Space Phaero, Discovery, Supernova and Spanish Fly. COACH But wait there is more!... man I feel like I’m hyping the Amazing Ginzu knife Cole COLE But there *IS* more: the 20th participant will be decided by YOU the fans as you get to decide which X-Division superstar of the past will make a rare showing on January 1st. COACH Do we have a list yet Cole? COLE No we don’t, we’ll have that for you next week. New Orleans, Louisiana. And the OAOAST's feeder promotion, OAOVW, is in town and so is Rico de Janeiro. He of the humbling at the hands of Theodore Moneymaker. He of the two seperate tag defeats against D*LUX. He who is sick of being an also ran, as evident by his post-match attack on D*LUX last time we saw him. Wearing the gaudiest of orange Hawaiian shirts and stroking his 70's porn 'stache, Rico walks through the New Orleans air outside the arena, in search it seems of the man standing at the entrance to the car park. Counting out a handful of bills, the guy is pretty tall, pretty skinny, black... oh yeah, he's also got one hell of an afro 'do. Rico approaches the guy who quickly staches the money in the pocket of his beige pants. RICO It's Lucius, right? LUCIUS Yo... have we met? (glances around) You look kinda... you know, familiar. RICO We spoke on the phone. LUCIUS Oh. Ohh sure, sure we did. Yeeaahh, haha... listen, I'm'a need you strip down real quick, you know, just incase you got any wires caught up on you when you got dressed this mornin', yeah. Standard procedure. You can't be too careful, dig? RICO It's Rico. The wrestler. For a moment, the afro adorned Soul racks his memory. Before eventually something comes up positive and a beaming smile creeps across his face, laughing away as he pats Rico on the shoulder. LUCIUS Oh man, you had me worried there for a minute. Phew! Man, don't do that to me, I got a weak heart. It's genetics. Can't touch red meat. RICO So, have I come to the right guy? LUCIUS When you come to "Sweet" Lucius Soul, you're always with the right guy. So, what brings you to Nawlins? ----------- Time has passed. We are now in a nondescript café in downtown New Orleans, the kind where 'confidential business' deals tend to take place. As such, there's some shifty looking characters scattered around and the place itself is pretty rundown. Or, to be more kind, 'rustic'. Rico and Lucius sit either side of the table, Rico lounged back while Lucius goes over the menu. SOUL So, what's the happy haps? RICO Well, I've just signed a full contract with the OAOAST and I'm looking for a tag team partner to help me out. I'm sick of being the punching bag. The hired help. The guy they throw in to the wolves. I'm Rico de Janeiro and lemme tell you, Rico don't swing that way, baby. The sole reason I'm going back to HeldDOWN~! is to prove to the world that I'm no joke. All I need a partner who isn't the missing link for a change. Word on the street is, you're that man. SOUL Word'd be right then, coz you're lookin' at HeldDOWN's newest star man. Just so happens I'm'a get my shot in a couple of weeks down in Green Bay. They got a couple of guys who need to knock off some ring rust or somethin', I dunno. All I know is, Soul's goin' global! RICO Is that so? SOUL Yeah... well, I mean, it ain't gonna be televised as such. Just something while they test out the lights and get the people in the house, like a dark match yeah, but everybody gotta start somewhere, right? Rico smiles to himself, absent-mindedly stroking his porn 'stache. RICO How about I go you one better? What if I can guarantee you a match, televised, in Calgary next week? Lucius' eyebrows peak. SOUL For real? RICO It's virtually set in stone my friend. All I need is somebody who can hang with Rico. SOUL Wow, that sounds mighty tempting man. I mean, a one-way ticket to the big-time? I'm down for that, no doubt, home of wrestling no less! Calgary... man. But... yo, how do you know I'm your man? I mean, we only met like three hours ago and I thought you was staking out my personal dealings. You expect us to go straight out and work like clockwork? And hey, I got standards too. How can I be sure you're the real deal yourself? I mean, I got my street cred to uphold man, I can't be seen with no second-rate tag partner on national TV. Maybe I oughta see some credentials before we sign off on any dealings. Rico remains pretty stoic through all this as a young waitress strolls over with the duo's coffees. Sitting up a little, Rico looks the young blonde up and down and reaches down his collar, pulling out a handful of brightly coloured bead necklaces. RICO Hey, baby... (strokes porn 'stache)... you know what you gotta do to get these, right? The young lady smiles. She's no novice ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately it's off camera, but the waitress definately DOES pull up her top and reveal her side orders~! Lucius' face understandably lights up as Rico takes off one of his bead necklaces, tosses the reward to the young waitress, who disappears with her shirt once again covering her modesty. RICO How's that for credentials? SOUL Awww dip! Man, I got a feeling you and me are gonna get on reeeaaalll well! The... Mardi Gras Wrecking Crew! RICO Hmm, that's pretty good. But how about... Rico glances over at the young lady, admiring the tacky plastic beads she's earnt. RICO ...The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. SOUL Hehehe. That's awesome, baby! (VOICEOVER) Ladies, keep your eyes peeled and your contraceptives up to date, incase you happen upon... THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii "She's an ea - sy lo - ver She'll take a hold but you won't feel it She's like no o - ther Be - fore you know it you'll be on your knees (BACK TO SC) COLE The OAOAST tag division just got a little funkier. COACH No kidding; you need a big-ass bottle of Febreeze to walk around down there without gagging. COLE That's not what I......*grunts in frustration*. Fans, we are back in Canada, again, for HeldDOWN~! Coach and it's... just as cold as last time. COACH Montreal, the only place in the world where even you stand a chance of being screwed. Well, half chance. COLE Let's not go there. Coming up in due course we've got six-man tag team action as three fourths of The Enterprise, The Beverly Hills Blonds and Christian Wright take on a trio of their recent irritants. Los Diablos De Fuego have been and continue to be a thorn in the sides of Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton, while their partner tonight The Dance Dance Dragon holds a victory over The Financial Analyst, CW. Although Christian did get the win back a few weeks ago, that defeat still wrangles with Christian I'm sure. He'll get a chance to put Dragon out of his mind for good tonight though. COACH No doubt. It's already in the bag, the money bag if you will. The Enterprise were so impressive at November Reign, tonight's gonna be no different. COLE Well, it IS, because it's 3 on 3 rather than 4 on 4. But I see your, albeit bias, point. COACH I just hope the referee's clued up on Los Diablos this time around. Another one of those illegal switches like we saw at November Reign would be a travesty, those sort of underhanded business tactics are frowned upon highly by respected entrepeneurs like Theodore Moneymaker. Christian told me himself. COLE Ah. I wondered where you got all those big words from. "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" To the tune of their leader's band The Enterprise enter, "Money Talks" playing through the arena as The Beverly Hills Blonds lead the way. They're joined by Christian Wright in his unbelievably expensive polyester business jacket, carrying with him the trusty briefcase (which surprisingly shows no dents, despite it's recent meetings with certain individuals craniums). And bringing up the rear, Mackenzie DeCenzo, arm in arm with the most money making man in the OAOAST, Theodore Moneymaker, fanning himself with a wad of cash! BUFFER The following six-man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently on the way to the ring, accompanied to the ring by MACKENZIE DECENZO and the CEO of The Enterprise, THEODORE MONEYMAKER! At a total combined weight of six hundred, eighty five pounds... the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS, and, "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT... together, they represent TTHHEEE EEEENNTTEEEEERRRRRPPRRRRIIIIIISSSSEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Enterprise trio, plus their two 'seconds', make their way to the ring. Already set up in their corner is Mackenzie's director's chair which Teddy gladly leads her to, before demanding that one of the stagehands responsible for Mackie's seat sets out a steel chair for him. Hopeful of a payday, the stagehand sets up a chair quickly for The Billion Dollar Heir, only to be shooed away once his job is done. COLE There's no no lack of class with Theodore Moneymaker. COACH I agree! ...wait, did you say no twice? COLE You'll work it out eventually. Ned, Simon and Christian discuss strategy in the ring as the brains behind the operation relax at ringside. In the meantime "Hung Up" starts playing, as the lights in the building dim down. The Montreal crowd are treated to an impromptu laser show, lighting up the entire rampway, as well as twelve Japanese dancing girls! Even better! However, Los Diablos De Fuego seem distinctly uninterested with the scantily clad ladies and dance their scantily clad male selves right in front of them to "Hung Up", which combining those gay icons Madonna and the sample of ABBA makes for the perfect Los Diablos dance song! Dance Dance Dragon makes use of the holographic DDR stage in the background before the three masked men dance their way on down the aisle. BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of five hundred, thirty nine pounds... the team of THE DANCE DANCE DRAGON and MARIACHI, MORACCA... LOS DDIIIIIIAAAAAABBLLLOOOOSSS DDEEEEEEE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And this Montreal crowd are LOVING these three fun-loving characters! COACH They're half French, of course they do. From the ring The Enterprise watch on in disgust at the antics of their opponents. Dragon tumbles into the ring, actually looking the more restrained of the team just for a change as Los Diablos bump and grind with the ringpost. Moneymaker looks physically ill. COACH Poor Teddy. COLE Perhaps he's still feeling the effects of that liplock Moracca laid on him at November Reign? Not for the first time, I might add. It seems like maybe Los Diablos have a bit of a 'thing' for Theodore. COACH They have a 'thing' for every male on the planet. And each other. Finally the music stops and some semblance of order is restored. Dance Dance Dragon is in the ring already and seems happy to start things off while The Enterprise hang in the corner, talking everything over with the 'boss'. Eventually it's decided that Simon Singleton is going to start for the team and some very business-like handshakes are exchanged... ...before Simon does a sudden 180 and charges... ...right into an armdrag by Dragon! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And that's not the start The Enterprise were hoping for! *DINGDINGDING!* Simon scrambles back to his feet as the bell sounds to officially start the match and takes a second armdrag! Back up and a third armdrag is waiting, Simon looking completely lost as he now walks right into a Japanese armdrag! Dragon rolls through on the move and clamps on an armbar as the rest of The Enterprise watch on wondering what the hell is happening to their colleague. Wondering the same thing is Simon as he reaches up for a handful of mask and is rejected. COLE Far from auspicious start here, Simon maybe a little too eager to get the jump on The Dragon. COACH He's a very busy man. COLE Oh, what does he actually go within The Enterprise, Coach? COACH ... Climbing back to his feet, Simon escapes the armbar with a quick knee before slamming a forearm down into the back of the neck. And another. Simon then sets up an irish whip, shooting Dragon into the ropes and dropping down. Up and over goes Dragon but he immediately puts the brakes on behind the unsuspecting Singleton, The Video Voyeur climbing back up... ...and into another armdrag! COACH Teddy needs to adjourn! Adjourn! The momentum takes the stumbling Simon back into a neutral corner and DDD follows in, leaping up and attempting a monkey flip. Simon is having none of that though and a quick shove sends Dragon off empty handed. Pointing to the temple = smarts. But following it up by walking right into your opponent's feet is not so smart however, Dragon getting the boots up and flipping Simon overhead with an improvised monkey flip, with a hard landing in the middle of the ring for Singleton! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Ooh! Right on the base of the spine and Simon is in trouble! COACH Like you wouldn't believe... Simon rolls to his knees and rubs his behind, which is enough for both Diablos to beg for the tag! Dragon spots it and tags the closest Diablo, that being Moracca who hurries into the ring. Seeing the pink Mexican coming Simon notices the rubbing motions he's making and more importantly on what part of his anatomy he's making them and wisely high-tails it, rolling out of the ring as the sexually charged Moracca gives chase! Even licking his lips as Simon weaves around the ringpost and, approaching the opponent's corner (and Mariachi), weaves back into the ring. Moracca follows close behind... but it met with a kneedrop right to the back of the head from Simon! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Seeing his chance, Simon quickly tags in Christian Wright, The Natural rushing in and putting the boots to Moracca. Positioning the prone Mexican with his feet, Wright then climbs up onto the bottom ring rope, pinning it down across the throat of Moracca who kicks his feet in agony! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Wright breaks on four but only to drag Moracca away from the ropes, putting the boots to him some more in the centre of the ring. COACH There we go, business as usual! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" Ignoring the chants, Wright hauls Moracca back to his feet and clubs him underneath the chin with a European Uppercut that he barely stays on his feet from. Theodore applauds the increase in intensity as again the European Uppercut finds the mark and Moracca collapses into the ropes. Irish whip follows, Wright knocking Moracca down with a back elbow... 1... Quick kickout, prompting Christian to make the tag to Ned Blanchard. COACH And now I do believe it's payback time. COLE No love lost with Ned Blanchard and Los Diablos, that's for sure. Possibly some lust on Diablos part, but certainly no love. In comes Ned, driving the point of the elbow suspiciously close to the throat of Moracca who sits up coughing and spluttering. Ned locks him in a rear chinlock to further restrict his breathing as Dragon and Mariachi watch on emotionless. They're wearing masks, see... ...oh, nevermind. "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" The Montreal fans rally behind Moracca and he humps thin air as he soaks up the encouragement. Ned doesn't seem to worried though and once he senses some trouble he releases the chinlock, elbowing Moracca across the top of the spine to quell any fire. An exchange is made by The Beverly Hills Blonds, Ned to Simon who's regained his bearings and is ready to go again. The Blonds perform a double whip and land stereo back elbows, Ned exiting the ring before the referee's five count and leaving Simon to make the fall... 1... 2... Kickout. Simon brings Moracca to his feet. Forearms soften Moracca up before the tag is again made by the tag team specialists, The Beverly Hills Blonds. This time the whip is solo and sets up a drop toehold by Singleton, while Blanchard hits the near ropes and drops the point of the elbow down across the back of the head. In keeping with his usual arrogance, Ned takes a moment to taunt Mariachi before he follows up with the cover... 1... 2... Kickout again. COLE It seems The Enterprise have gained control here after their false start of sorts. And there's few better at tag team wrestling in the OAOAST, whether it be 2 on 2, 3 on 3, 4 on 4, whatever, than The Beverly Hills Blonds. Only former OAOAST and HI-YAH Tag Team Champions in history. COACH There's nobody better in my mind. With a series of big right hands Ned beats Moracca down, enjoying every minute of it after the weeks of humiliation they've inflicted on he and his Enterprise colleagues. Ned then backs away with a beaming smile on his face, measuring Moracca as he struggles back to his feet. From the outside Moracca's teammates try to warn him of what's waiting on him but it makes no difference, as he still finds himself hooked to the canvas with a big clothesline. Sitting Moracca right back up, Blanchard drops an elbow across the top of the head and then positions himself on Moracca's shoulders. Reaching over top, Ned then pulls Moracca's right leg up and hooks it, applying the seldom seen Stump Puller on the Mexican luchador! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" It seems like Ned is trying to forcefeed Moracca his own bright white boot as he pulls up on the leg. Curiously, Mariachi seems very interested in what's going on, almost as if he's taking notes for future reference. Probably best not to dwell on that. COACH Oh yeah, make him suffer Ned! COLE A torturous hold being applied by The Handsome Hustler. Working over the neck and the back, not to mention the stress this is putting on the quadracep and the calf muscle. COACH And the groin. The worst thing, at least in Moracca's mind, I'm sure. "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" Moracca clenches his fists and tries to fight the pain as referee Charles Robinson checks for a submission. Any reprieve from The Handsome Hustler seems out of the question so Moracca has to try and escape the hold. Shaking and squirming, the Mexican fights and fights... and eventually Ned loses the leg! Ned tries to reach for it again but Moracca kicks his hands away at each attempt before looking to turn the hold over. A punch to the head stops him. But only momentarily, as Moracca eventually turns over onto his knees and pulls out Ned's feet from under him, causing him to faceplant into the canvas!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Moracca escapes! And now he has to try and make the tag! After checking his nose is still in place Ned shakes away the cobwebs and looks to cut Moracca off, as the luchador dives for his corner... ...catching him around the waist and dropping him with an Inverted Atomic Drop! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That'll cut somebody off in a hurry. COACH Like the saying goes, 'hit them where it hurts'! Haha! Moracca goes rigid and collapses in the centre of the ring, giving Ned chance to follow the advice coming from the outside, making the tag to Christian Wright. The Natural steps in and his first move is to go after Mariachi and Dance Dance Dragon in the corner, drawing them into the ring and allowing him to drag Moracca over into The Enterprise's corner where EVERYBODY gets in on the act, Ned and Simon joining in on the stomps as Moneymaker laughs uproariously on the arena floor. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Three on one in the corner, turn around referee! COACH Moracca's partners are doing him no favours. Teddy couldn't have got a better distraction if he paid for it himself, which he easily could have by the way! Eventually the referee gets Dragon and Mariachi to retreat back to their corners and The Blonds make themselves scarse too, leaving Christian to innocently kick away at Moracca's lifeless body. Moracca is hurting and really needs the tag. A task made harder by Christian Wright standing on the back of his neck. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THR..." A break and a look of innocence from Christian, unsure of what he did wrong. Wink wink. His discussion with the referee distracts him from Ned Blanchard's involvement on the apron, dragging Moracca's throat across the ring apron and dropping an elbow across the neck! Referee Robinson wonders why Ned is on the floor but gets no clues from the innocent Handsome Hustler. Predictably enough Mariachi and Dragon try to help but do more harm than good as now Theodore Moneymaker climbs from his chair AND PUTS A FRONT FACELOCK ON, CHOKING MORACCA ON THE RING APRON!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, come ON! Now Theodore Moneymaker is getting involved and the referee is none the wiser! More shady tactics from The Enterprise... I don't know how you can complain about illegal switches and what have you when The Enterprise consistantly and blatantly flout the rules each and every time we see them. COACH This is nothing compared to that injustice and you know it! "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" As the referee gains some control once more, The Billion Dollar Heir goes back to his seat and kicks his legs up, resuming a conversation with Mackenzie as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, CW pulls Moracca out from the ropes and to his feet, lining him up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and landing a HARD knifedge chop across the pink leather covered chest of Moracca! COACH Ow-eee! Dropping like a stone, Moracca looks easy pickings now as Wright and Moneymaker share a "money fingers" signal. Wright lifts the lagging luchador up and off his feet, up into a fireman's carry with ease. Turning into the centre of the ring Christian then rushes forwards looking for the Bank Roll... ...but Moracca slips free and lands safely on his feet! On go the brakes but not quick enough to prevent Moracca dropping and scrambling, crawling through CW's legs to make it to the corner... ...AND TAG!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Everybody Dance Now! COACH Oh no! In comes The Dance Dance Dragon and he is a house of dancin' fire! A clothesline puts Wright down, Ned coming in and eating a forearm to take him out of the equation. Simon comes in late and Dragon is ready for him, popping up with a front dropkick that lands in the chest and sends The Video Voyeur tumbling out of the ring! Dragon wheels around just in time to catch Wright coming, blocking a boot to the gut and sweeping CW over with a Dragon ScreWii "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Dragon Screw from the Dragon! It's so ironic I think my head may just explode! Ned is next to attack... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and gets lit up with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another! COLE The Strong Style Party Animal living up to his name with those vicious strikes and suddenly Moneymaker doesn't seem quite so confident on the floor! Not one to take a beating lying down, Ned tries to cut Dragon off in his prime. A clothesline is ducked though and Ned goes running off into the ropes, unfortunately just as Simon is using those ropes to climb back to the ring apron, thus bumping his partner off to the arena floor again! Not to worry though as Ned soon follows him, getting clotheslined over the top by Triple D and ending up in a Beverly Hills bundle on the outside! Moneymaker has seen enough and can't sit back any longer, jogging over to help his men back to their feet, unaware of Dance Dance Dragon hurtling towards him... ...FLIPPING OVER THE TOP AND WIPING ALL THREE OUT WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHAAAAA~!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH That's not fair! Theodore Moneymaker isn't in this match, he's an innocent bystander! COLE He's an innocent by-flat-on-his-asser now! "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" Back in the ring, Wright is distracted at his three Enterprise cohorts lie in a heap on the floor. That allows Mariachi to sneak into the action, waiting for The Natural to turn around before springboarding up onto the top rope and soaring in. Wright sees him coming but doesn't have enough time to react as Mariachi cuts him down with a Seated Senton, Wright getting a faceful of crotch as Mariachi tries to hold him down... 1... 2... NO! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mariachi is fresh and makes full use of his extra energy, beating CW to his feet and rushing into the ropes. A swing and a miss follows from Wright, Mariachi hitting the opposite side, building up some speed... ...and running into a SNAP Powerslam!! 1... 2... SAVE BY MORACCA!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Backing away, Moracca lures in the angry Financial Analyst before, as he finds himself backed in a corner, BLOWING HIM A KISS! Wright understandably freaks out and backs up himself, finding himself caught from behind in a rear waistlock by Mariachi. Before CW can get away, Moracca then rushes in and applies a simultaneous front waistlock, Los Diablos sandwiching CW in between them and hoisting him off the canvas, shaking him around and putting on the pressure. And this time Mackenzie looks physically ill. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh dear God. COLE THE HOMIES HUG! HOMIES HUG! They're not homos, they're homies! COACH This is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen! Somebody get in and stop this before we get taken off the air!! Wright looks completely horrified and doesn't even think about an escape as he sees what this must look like to the average onlooker. Mackenzie watches on covering her mouth, literally looking physically sick, as even Charles Robinson seems a little creeped out by this offensive (in more ways than one) manoeuvre! COACH ENOUGH! ENOUGH! DEAR LORD ENOUGH! Thankfully for the name of good taste, Los Diablos release Wright from the unwelcomed threeway physicality and skip about merrily at the experience. Standing in the centre of the ring, Wright alternates between gasping for breath and looking violated, shaking in shock and rage before finally Los Diablos turn and The Natural charges them. A double clothesline is ducked though as Los Diablos meet him with two knees to the gut and hook the head... *SMOOCH!* *SMOOCH!* ...kissing Wright on either cheek... *WHAM!* ...AND PLANTING HIM FACE-FIRST WITH THE KISS OF DEATH!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Kiss Of Death! And there's no-one to come to the rescue! Both Diablos want the glory, or the body on body contact, but after a brief squabble they both dive on top and hump their way through the count... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE AND THAT'S IT!! The fans go wild and so do Los Diablos, literally leaping for joy as the three is scored. Mackenzie quite simply can't believe it and neither can Teddy, Ned or Simon as they look on from their heap on the floor. Dragon quickly calls Los Diablos out and the trio celebrate as Moneymaker rushes into the ring and DEMANDS to know how this could have happened. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of THE DANCE DANCE DRAGON and LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFFUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "IT'S RAININ' MEN! Hallejulah IT'S RAININ' MEN! Amen" COACH That's the most disgusting thing I've seen in my life! COLE Disgusting or not, Los Diablos scored the fall, they won the match, The Enterprise lose to Los Diablos and Dance Dance Dragon! And Theodore Moneymaker is BESIDE HIMSELF!! COACH That fall never should have counted! The match should have been thrown out on the grounds of good taste long ago! And since when has two men pinning one been legal!? This is disgusting in so many ways! Los Diablos and DDD celebrate their way up the ramp, the victorious luchadors getting up close and personal with their dancing partner as in the ring Moneymaker is throwing a fit! Referee Charles Robinson gets out while he still can as Moneymaker continues to rage, even despite Mackenzie DeCenzo entering the ring to try and calm him down. On the outside, The Beverly Hills Blonds are lost for words. COLE Los Diablos have got one over on The Enterprise again. And the honeymoon may be over for Theodore Moneymaker, he's got some business evaluation to do after this result! COACH Can I get a bucket or something? I feel sick. COLE It'll pass. Here, have a chili dog. COACH A... ohgodI'mgonnapuke... *COMMERCIALS!*