Patty O'Green

That Tough Enough creep, J.Math will interview the female lead of "3 Stages of Hell", Jenna Elfman.

Balls the size of California!

I just read it. I normally don't like cage matches, written or on TV but I enjoyed yours! I liked the no escape rule. A good touch.

I only read the Rumble, I'll read the rest tomorrow. But the rumble was really really good! Caboose's commentary was wonderful and the match was exciting even though I already knew the winner.

"I Quit" Match for the OaOasT X-Division Championship: "The Phenemonal" A.J. Flaire (Champion) vs. Mad Matt (Challenger) Winner: A.J Loser Leaves Town Match: Judas vs. Robert "Father" Edwards Winner: Judas The Lightning Crew Gauntlet: If The Mad Cappa Wins, He Moves On In The Gauntlet. If Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez Wins, The Mad Cappa Can Never Have A Match Against Puerto Rican Lightning. Straight Up One-On-One Professional Wrestling Match: The Mad Cappa vs. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez (with Mr. Boricua) Winner: Mad Cappa jobs to a fingerpoke and joins the L.C. OaOasT Adrenalin Championship Match: Spider-Poet (Champion) vs. "Ice Heart" Dan Black (Challenger) Winner: SP. Total Decapitation Match: Sly "The Sly" Summers vs. Scotty Static Winner: Triple S Steel Cage Grudge Match; No Escape Rules: Crystal vs. Damaramu Winner: Crystal Hardcore Match For The OaOasT North American Championship: Puerto Rican Lightning (Champion with Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall) vs. The Shuffle (Challenger) Winner: PRL Too Good For A Stipulation: Zack Malibu vs. The Superstar Winner: SS The Royal Rumble Match: Winner Recieves A Title Shot Against The OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion At OaOasT AngleMania III on March 28, 2004: I already know the winner.

Eskimo suggested a thread be made, so here it is. Anyway, post what you're doing for the PPV (use spoiler tags if you want). I assume that the show is on January 25. Announced matches: The Royal Rumble

A classic Anglemania moment will be shown Edit: No it won't

I'm pretty sure Zack'll be back to post this show. Announced matches: Zack vs. Gunner Prism Invitational for 24/7 title (it's a No-DQ Fatal 5-way. Any one can enter, I think. Superstar can tell you more. ) Edit: Silly me. I meant booking for the 1/15/04 show. Mod's bail me out!

What's a "bishie"?

Nice show! I'll give it an eight. PFL came through with some excellent stuff, once again. Half the matches on the show were done by him! I thought everyone did a good job moving their feuds and angles a long.

The X title match has been edited in. You'll find it after the Crystal/Northstar skit. I recommend reading it.

Credits!!!!!: Crystal/CC Dama Hoff Sturgis Panther CWM PFL Supes Me!! Mad Matt HSJ

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The trademark logo of HelDOWN flashes onto the screen! It fades away to the usual opening video footage set to "You don't wanna see this". This time footage of the 10 man gauntlet has been inserted into to the opening video. Once the video is done, we cut to the live arena as overpriced pyro shoots off filling the complex with smoke! The cameras swivel around getting shots of the rabid fans and focusing on the clever and creative signs that have been brought to the arena. Finally, things settle down and we're taken to our announce team. and Cole: Hello world! We are live with another edition of HeldDOWN. We're coming to you from the sold out Savvis Center in the gateway to the West, Saint Louis, Missouri!!!!!! I'm Michael Cole, joined by Caboose and.... Coach: I can do my own introductions, oil slick. Cole: Fine, go ahead. Coach: I'm Jonathan Coachman, the man who played the lead role in his Middle school production of Robin Hood and stole the show with my Travolta like performance in my ninth grade production of Grease. Judy Stevenson of the Jefferson high herald called it spell bindingly brilliant. I must also remind everyone that I attended Juilliard. Caboose: Yeah, Juilliard's school of cosmetology in Hoboken. Coach, shut up. They've already finished casting for "3 stages of hell". Cole: Guys cool it. Although we're filming a movie, first and foremost we are a wrestling company. And wrestling is what we've got in store for our awesome fans! The 24/7 champion Super Star will be in action, there will be fallout from the ground breaking X division title match, we're promised more shocking revelations and plot twists from the backstabbing schmuck's who make up the Underground, plus we expect to hear from the master of conspiracies...Mad Matt Caboose: Periods are your friend, man. Come up for air every once in a while.

*The opening rift to “I Stand Alone” by Godsmack blares through the arena as Damaramu makes himself known. All of the lights go out and a spotlight centers on Damaramu who is standing on the entrance ramp looking down. He looks up, a coldness in his eyes, and he begins to make his walk to the ring.* Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman, making his way to the ring weighing in at 248 pounds.......DAMARAMU! Cole: Ladies and Gentleman. I had my doubts when this man debuted. But now I know...he is the real deal. He is just as dangerous as he says he is. And let’s hope that Crystal can stop that reign of terror at Bloody Battered and Beaten. She has been unsuccessful thus far. Coach: And you forgot to mention Cole, Damaramu has been unsuccessful in defeating her. Cole: I don’t think I’ve ever seen two more evenly matched people. *the lights come up and Damaramu’s music stops as he kneels in the corner with his face resting on the middle turnbuckle. The fans explode as “I’m Just a Girl” hits and the red and white strobe lights go across the entrance. Smoke pours out as Crystal and Northstar both come running out looking like they are ready to beat some ass.* Announcer: And his opponents! Weighing in at a total combined weight of 328 pounds, CRYSTAL AND THE GM NORTHSTAR!!!!! *both rush into the ring and walk up behind Damaramu trapping him in the corner. Damaramu lifts his head up and then stands straight up turning back towards Crystal and Norhtstar, smiling.* Cole: That is scary. *Crystal looks at Damaramu for a second and then delivers a hard knee to the stomach. Northstar backhands Damaramu across the face like he did to Northstar at Deadly Game. The ref backs Northstar out of the ring as Crystal begins delivering hard right hands in the corner. She whips Damaramu to the opposite corner. Damaramu hits the corner so hard that he is propelled forward onto his face. Damaramu starts to come up on his knees and Crystal rushes in with a dropkick to his face. Damaramu slumps over as Crystal is on top of him delivering vicious punches to his face. The referee pulls Crystal off but she heads back over their to a Damaramu that’s already getting up. Damaramu goes for a low blow! It doesn’t affect Crystal!* Cole: Great start by Crystal. Caboose: Did he forget what gender he was facing here?? *Crystal laughs and knees Dama in the face. Dama is slumped onto the ropes. Crystal drags him out to mid-ring and hooks his arms........double arm DDT!* Cole: Damaramu is taking a pounding early on here! Coach: That’s my girl! She’s not going to give him a chance to do anything! *Crystal hits the ropes as Dama is coming back to his feet and comes flying in with a flying cross body! Pinfall! 1!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT!* Cole: She only got two off the cross body. Coach: A close two. *Crystal shows a look of frustration as she stands behind Dama, telegraphing him. Dama slowly gets to his feet and Crystal is on him! She drops him with a hard german suplex! She holds on! A second german suplex!!! Dama tries to fight back......she gets him up anyways.......a 3rd german suplex!!!! Crystal releases as Damaramu lays out flat. Northstar is begging for the tag! Crystal looks over and tags him in!* Cole: Now Northstar..who does not like Crystal but he claims he hate Damaramu even more. So he’s here to do some damage. He’s going up top now! *Northstar heads to the top as Damaramu lays down out cold. Northstar sets up.........AND SLIPS! Northstar falls off the top rope straight onto his face next to Damaramu! Caboose: I guess he’s a little rusty their....... Coach: HE SLIPPED!? *Damaramu comes alive a little and rolls over pushing Northstar over. Dama goes for the pin!! 1!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT! Northstar gets a shoulder up. Dama and Northstar both make it to their feet as Northstar grips his face that ate canvas. Northstar rushes in and Dama ducks a clothesline! Dama with a kick to the ribs! Dama picks Northstar up for a body slam! Northstar ducks out behind him! Into the ropes......Northstar with a roll up! 1!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT! * Cole: Damaramu and Northstar hitting it fast here. *Dama comes back up and misses a punch. Northstar ducks behind and puts a waistlock on Dama, Northstar moves forward tripping him onto his face. Northstar spins on him and comes up slapping him in the back of the head! Dama looks a little embarassed! Dama comes rushing in...Northstar once again ducks.......elbow to the kidneys......reverse DDT!* Cole: And Northstar puts Dama down now! Man Dama hasn’t been able to get anything going offensively here! *Northstar heads over and tags in Crystal who goes up top! Dama is laid out.......Crystal comes off with an elbow drop!!!! DAMA MOVES! Crystal hits the mat and holds her elbow as Dama rolls to the edge of the mat. Dama begins to fight his way to his feet as Crystal gets to hers. Dama rushes in with a hard elbow smash sending Crystal into the ropes and bouncing back into the waiting arms of Damaramu! Dama picks her up and spins around....spinebuster! Crystal is down!* Cole: Nice comeback here by Damaramu! *Damaramu backs up to the corner and starts to run out but Northstar reaches over and gets ahold of Damaramu’s ponytail! Dama hits the mat! The ref runs over to yell at Northstar!* Coach: Northstar was giving Dama a little taste of his own medicine there...although the ref is admonishing him for it. *Crystal manages to get to her feet as Dama does to. Dama comes in with a punch but it’s blocked! Another one is blocked! Crystal hits him low.......DDT! Crystal with the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!KICK OUT! Dama barely kicks out as Crystal shows a little frustration on her face! Crystal pulls Dama back to his feet and bends him over......fame asser! Dama’s face is driven into the mat! Crystal hits the ropes....rolls.........rolling thunder!* Cole: Crystal is taking it to Dama now.........wait! Northstar wants the tag! *Northstar leans over the ropes begging for the tag. Crystal signals for another second and puts Dama’s head between her legs......Crystal strains.........she barely lifts him! POWERBOMB! Crystal falls forward holding her back as Dama goes with his head down into the mat. Crystal gets up and slowly gets to her corner tagging in Northstar who enters the ring with a cocky look on his face. Northstar walks around Dama kind of laughing at him. Northstar walks up and lightly kicks Damaramu in the arm.* Coach: Is he testing to see if he’s alive? Quit someone get my big stick! *Crystal begins yelling at Northstar to cover him. Northstar laughs and puts one foot on Dama’s chest and flexes! 1!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!! EASY KICK OUT!* Cole: Well he shouldn’t have showboated there! Crystal isn’t to happy! *Crystal yells at Northstar as he tells her he has it under control. He pulls Dama to his feet and sends him into the ropes...Dama comes back in receiving a hard punch to the face! Dama hits the mat and slides out of the ring holding his face!* Cole: Damaramu obviously doesn’t like that to much! He’s stalling for time! * Crystal sneaks up behind Damaramu and sends him into the ring! Dama rolls back in as Northstar rushes him delivering lefts and rights! Northstar sends Dama into the ropes and he comes flying back right into a boot by Northstar! Dama’s out cold! Northstar tagged him good!* Cole: He hit him right on the chin! Knocked him out! Coach: His ass just got dealt with! Caboose: Damn he went down hard there...now Crystal is begging for the tag! *Northstar notices Crystal begging for the tag and goes over to oblige. Northstar tags her in as she enters the ring. Wait...Northstar is reaching into his shorts......he’s got brass knucks!!! HE NAILS CRYSTAL IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!!!* Cole: What the hell!? Northstar just knocked Crystal out cold! Coach: That bitch! Caboose: HAHA! I love it! *Northstar sneers at the fallen Crystal and then looks over to Dama who is laying on the mat looking Northstar straight in the eyes! Dama smiles and kips up!!!!! Dama walks over to where Crystal has fallen and drags her to the middle of the ring! Dama goes up top...........FROGSPLASH!!!!!* Cole: She’s already out! This is adding insult to injury! *Dama covers Crystal as the ref stands there looking confused.* Northstar(grabbing the ref by the collar): Do it or you’re fired! *The ref throws himself to the mat and counts! 1!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!* Cole: That’s just sick! Announcer: The winner of the bout........DAMARAMU! *The fans boo loudly as Northstar flips Crystal over and pulls her up by her hair....Damaramu grabs a chair and comes back into the ring!* Cole: Someone stop this!!! Coach: I would but we saw what happened last time! Caboose: They’re proving a point! *Crystal looks dazed as Dama rushes forward with the chair just absolutely pasting her in the face with that shot! Crystal flies backwards onto the mat as the blood begins to flow out of her face! Dama smiles and walks over to where she is removing his shirt. He bends low and rubs his hand through the fresh blood. He stands up looking at Northstar who now has a mic and rubs the blood all over his face!* Cole: That’s even more sick! He’s deranged! Northstar: Hello, butterflies. What you just witnessed is what we in the know like to call, a changing of the guard. For you see, that chubby faced diseased whore lying on the ground is the past! It's a shame that Crystal's time on top had to come to such a tragic end. Really, it is. But, as they say, fame is fleeting and Crystal's just fleeted the hell on outta here! Coach: That arrogant S.O.B! He thinks this is funny! I'll show him how funny this is! Caboose: Easy there, Coach. Northstar: Time and time again have I and my predecessor have given Crystal chance after chance to make something of her self and become the OAOAST's first female breakout star. Each time she has been a spectacular failure the likes of which make Waterworld seem like a triumphant success. I can't even tell you how many times Crystal has been shoved into a title match with only a token 24/7 title reign to show for it. Crystal's window of opportunity has been shut, locked and boarded up. Crowd: You suck! You suck! Northstar: However, a new window is opening, darlings! The window towards the future of HeldDOWN! Come closer children. Come and gaze into the window towards the future and you will see the demented face of the new representative of the GM's office and my official pick to win the Royal Rumble.....Damaramu! Damaramu is everything you could want in a super star and oh so much more. He's mean, vulgar, treacherously indecent, spitefully wicked and that's just when he's in a good mood! So, butterflies, get used to face of Damaramu. Because it's the face of the future! Cole: The future!? Coach: I don’t think I can live with this future! Caboose: Future looks bright to me guys! *Northstar and Damaramu join hands and hold them high as “I Stand Alone” begins playing over the arena! They both stand over the fallen body of Crystal with there hands raised in victory! Fans begin pelting the ring with garbage. * Cole: This is huge! Damaramu has joined the GM’s office and is now going to be in the Royal Rumble! Coach: What does it all mean? Caboose: It means Damaramu is about to become huge......and you have to deal with it Coach! Cole: Well folks...this flat out sucks. I can’t believe it! Damaramu is the future of Heldown!? He’s going to win the Royal Rumble!? I knew he was with Northstar! Now he’s got all the power behind him! WHO WILL BE ABLE TO STOP THE AWESOME FORCE THAT IS DAMARAMU??! GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN, HELDOWN WILL NEVER EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN THANKS TO THAT TWISTED MONSTER, DAMARAMU! *Damaramu and Northstar remain in the ring raising their hands in victory as the fans boo as loud as they can throwing garbage into the ring. The end of show graphic flashes as the unwanted celebration continues.* ========================== OAOAST HeldDOWN~! © OAOAST 2004 ==========================

(CUT back to sofa central) Coach: What a show that was! I remember it like it was yesterday. Caboose: How could you? They didn’t even let you inside the building. Coach: Yeah well, I saw enough to know that D-Lo carried your drunken ass to a victory over Bradshaw and Albert. Caboose: Ah memories of simpler times. Times where a man could show up the biggest of the year piss drunk and expect a ten percent raise. Cole: We’ve come a long way in two years. But, from what we just saw, two of our oldest stars, Zack and SS aren’t getting along very well. Caboose: Talk about an understatement, eh. Zack had some harsh words for his old buddy. But, perhaps they rang true. Maybe Zack is right. Maybe Super Star really is living in the past? Coach: Well, I reside in the present. And presently I want to talk about Crystal and Northstar versus Damaramu! Cole: So do I. Earlier in the show Northstar condemned the actions of Damaramu and offered his services to Crystal. He claims that he was forced into making the steel cage match by Damaramu. Now we have a handicap match. Crystal and Norhtstar taking on Damaramu. What do you guys think? Caboose: I feel sorry for Northstar and Crystal. Coach: Whatever. Damaramu escaped defeat at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten but now Crystal is madder than ever and he’s going to get a taste of what is to come at Anglepalooza.

The following is a classic Anglemania moment brought to you by Gatorade, is it in you? AngleMania, April 26, 2002 HHH get's to his feet and kicks Anglesault to the gut to set up the Pedigree once again! AS counter's and grabs HHH's leg and locks on the AngleLock! HHH refuses to tap saying he'll never job to AS! Chris Jericho appears through the crowd and tells the Time Keeper to ring the bell! DINGDINGDING! The Crowd go ApeShit!!!!!!!!!!! Medal plays as Jericho spits on the crying HHH and leaves!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fink-'The winner of the Match and NEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW One & Only AngleSault Thread HeavyWeight Champion of the World, AngleSault!!!!!!!!!!!!!'. AS picks up the Belt and stares at it and starts to cry! The aWo return to the ring and lay a beating on HHH who has curled into the foetus position and is sucking his thumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The aWo spray 'aWo 4-Life, Just 2 Olympic For You!' on HHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AS spays aWo on the Belt, and is lifted onto the shoulders of the aWo for the emotional celebration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JR-'What an AngleMania! The belt is going home with AS tonight, and don't the crowd love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Goodnight From AngleMania!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This Classic Anglemania moment was brought to you buy Gatorade)

(We CUT back to the arena as we get a shot of the entrance way) *BOOM!* “WAKE ME UP” “WAKE ME UP INSIDE!” The crowd’s collective roar greets us as we return from commercial break, pyro exploding off the stage as none other than Zack Malibu walks out from behind the curtain, followed by the beautiful Candie! The two raise their arms high in the air before walking down the ramp and into the ring. COACH YO~ Cole, we’re about to hear from the Zack Attack! COLE This man participated in a hellacious war with rival CWM this past Sunday at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, and I have a feeling he’ll have a lot to say about that tonight. Malibu stands in the center of the ring, microphone in hand, but before he can even get a word out- “ZACK!” ”ZACK!” “ZACK!” The chants resound through the arena, leaving Malibu speechless. Finally, he holds up his hand, silencing them, before speaking. “Well, it sure feels good to be standing here tonight.” The crowd roars again as Malibu nods, showing signs of injury from the match last Sunday. “Now, last Sunday at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, the Zack Attack went up against CWM in an Ambulance Match. Now, I’ve had a whole hell of a lot of tough matches this year – Anglesault, Dreams, Evenflow – but my match with CWM this past Sunday opened my eyes. Cobain, I may not like your motives, your taste in music, or your attitude, but after this past Sunday…I respect you.” The crowd cheers again, and some drunk fans in the upper deck begin a “C – W – M!” chant. “Now, that may sound cheesy and overused, and I don’t want to give off that connotation. I respect what he’s done for this company and what he did to me – he took me to my absolute limit last Sunday, and for that, I respect him. Now, there’s one thing that I don’t respect. After he puts his entire body on the line to destroy mine, he was attacked, abused, and pissed on by none other than those piece-of-crap lowlifes that think they actually mean something to HeldDOWN. Yeah, I’m talking about the Underground.” A round of boos resounds through the arena at the mention of the stable, and Zack simply nods and continues. “Superstar, what you did was the lowest of the low. Now, I’ve known you for a long time, bro, and I’ve seen you go to some pretty low places. But attacking CWM like you did just crossed the line. Now, I’m asking…no, I’m DEMANDING that you and your cronies come down to the ring RIGHT NOW and tell me what the HELL is wrong with you.” “I’M NOT AFRAAAAAAAAAAAID!” Earshot’s “Not Afraid” blasts out of the PA system as The Superstar’s AngleTron video plays in the arena, and the fans practically drown the music out with their jeers. Out of the curtain walks The Superstar himself, with J. Arthur Edwards, Gunner Sharps, and Hoff in tow. Superstar coolly walks into the ring with the others following, and walks right up into Zack’s face. Malibu looks unfazed, but Candie retreats into the corner behind her man as Superstar begins talking. “Zack! Buddy! What is UP, man?” Superstar laughs and pats Zack on the shoulder, but Malibu brushes him off. “Oh, I’m sorry, Zack, I don’t want to crowd you, I forgot – your ego needs all the room it can get. Yeah, I don’t forget easily. You know what else I don’t forget? I didn’t forget when CWM ‘led’ the Underground. Good GOD, man, who in their right mind could call that ‘leadership’? Every day I spent under CWM’s eye was a day I wanted to rip out my jugular vein and use it as a straw to sip milk of magnesia!” The crowd continues to jeer for Superstar, but he shakes it off. “See, Zack, after Deadly Game, it was finally proven: as a leader, CWM completely BLEW it. I kicked his ass and took his title, with not so much as breaking a sweat. Then, I see the next month he goes on and loses to YOU. AGAIN. God, I mean, that’s just pathetic! He lost to the guy that struggled against Mario Logan inside a White Castle! Zack don’t you-“ “-If I recall,” Zack interrupts, much to the delight of the crowd, “you have never defeated me, Supes. If I recall, it was YOU who was stuck wrestling dark matches against the Dungeon of Doom. Your track record doesn’t exactly make people stand up and pay attention. In fact, no one has ever really paid attention to you, have they? You think maybe THAT’S why you attacked CWM, to finally get yourself noticed?” Superstar is taken aback, but Zack keeps completely focused on his rival. “Noticed? Zack, have you forgotten all I’ve done for this hellhole? Not only have I been X Champion and 24/7 Champion, but I retired Tony the Body at Anglemania! I’ve defeated Anglesault more than anyone else! I’ve-“ “-and you’re still living in the past,” remarks Zack, “besides the 24/7 Title, which you’ve only defended ONCE since winning, all of those things happened SO long ago! You’re trying to ride your past glory, Supes, and quite frankly, it isn’t working. You want to break out? Because that was the old motto of that Federation you started two years ago, Break Out, wasn’t it? You want to break out, how about getting your ass in the ring on a weekly basis and beat the best? How about you get in the ring and *try* to beat…me.” The crowd roars and begins another “ZACK!” chant. Superstar is absolutely fuming at this point, and screams at the crowd to shut up before continuing. “Beat you? Beat you? Zack, it’s a given fact that I’m already better than you are. Quite frankly, I don’t think you’re WORTHY to even be in this ring with me right now, let alone to fight me. Zack, you’re going to have to prove yourself if you ever want to get your hands on me. If you’re so desperate for some action, though, I have a preposition. You see these men behind me? J. Arthur Edwards and Gunner Sharps. Two of the toughest men in the OAOAST today. Next week, you get both of them, in a handicapped match. Now, if lightning strikes both of them dead, and you somehow happen to win next week, I might *consider* letting you fight me. As for now, well, I’ll just give you a taste.” *SMACK!* Superstar cracks Zack across the face with a hard, HARD slap. Before Malibu can react, Superstar and the Underground slide out of the ring and begin retreating up the ramp. Zack, in the ring, points furiously at Superstar, mouthing the words “You’re mine.” The Underground crew disappears out of sight, but it’s only a few seconds before a visual appears on the AngleTron. Superstar furiously marches towards a limo, but as he opens the door to get in, GM Northstar appears in the picture. “Supes, what are you doing? You still have to defend your title tonight against Peter Knight! You can’t just walk off!” “Oh, I can’t?” Superstar opens his bag and takes the title out, before tossing it down on the ground at Northstar’s feet. The GM looks shocked as Superstar continues. “See, I could not care less about that title. Quite frankly, it’s below me. It’s keeping me from where I want to be, and as long as I have that burden, I’ll never get anywhere.” Superstar steps into the limo and orders it to leave, as it peels out of sight and into the night. Northstar, meanwhile, picks up the title and hoists it over his shoulder. ”Well, wasn’t that just champagne and daisies? Ladies and gentlemen, due to the unsportsmanlike behavior of one Superstar, the 24/7 Championship is now vacant. However, next week, a new titleholder will be crowned, as I’m inviting ANY five HeldDOWN superstars to compete in the first ever PRISM match for the 24/7 Championship!” The crowd roars at the announcement as the screen fades to black

( We return from the break to see the female lead of "3 Stages of Hell", Jenna Elfman is seen backstage talking on her cell phone. HD! GM Northstar sneaks behind her and gives her a big hug) Northstar: Jenna darling, long time no see. (Startled, Jenna turns around. She hangs up her cell and focuses on Northstar) Jenna: Huh? We just had Breakfast at the Cheesecake factory this morning! Northstar: Ah, but that was hours ago, my lady. To be apart from your beautiful radiance is akin to being cast to darkest level of hell. To not see your face for hours is pain I fear I cannot stand to bear. Each minute away from you has moved along with the speed of a snail and the agonizing glare of the most evil of harlot But now that you're here, it's as if light has been brought to this otherwise pale and disgusting world. Jenna: Hey, aren't you getting married? Northstar: Is it a crime for a spoken for man to compliment the beauty of an attractive young maiden, such as yourself. Jenna: Absolutely. You'd be wise to learn that, kiddo. You've got enough people hunting for your scalp without ticking off your fiance also. Northstar: Whatever do you mean by that last barb? Jenna: I'm just making an observation. I saw some cute preppy looking guy storming past here muttering about you dumping his girlfriend and this movie ruining HeldDOWN. Northstar: Preppy??? (Northstar starts to shake his fist) Malibu. That melodramatic shitkicker. Fuck him. With a fucking glass dick. Trying to get him to cooperate is like pulling a tiger's teeth. Dangerous and futile. Ever since I got the job he taken every opportunity to undermine my authority. I can't make a single decision without him getting in my face and throwing a fit. Do you want to know why he's mad at me? Because I kicked the wrestlers out of their dressing rooms to make room for the film crew. Jenna: Wow.....That's an awful thing to do! Now wonder, he's P.Oed . I'd be mad to! You're inconveniencing all the wrestlers and we haven't shot anything at the arena all day! Northstar: You haven't shot anything? WHY? Why haven't you shot anything? Jenna: You'll have to ask John. He wants to start filming during your match and Josh'll do a voice-over and that'll be start of the movie. I only showed up to see you. Anyway, I'm headed to my trailer. You can come and see me later but you better go apologize to Malibu, first. (Jenna waves goodbye and leaves Northstar) Northstar: I'll apologize to his mom after I stone that cock sucker dead. Jenna(off screen): I heard that. And can I get a script that isn't written on a cocktail napkin?

(CUT to the parking lot!) Mad Matt is in the parking lot and he is limping out to his car. This may be the last time we see Mad Matt. Mad Matt is opening up the trunk of the car. Matt’s movements are the only thing active in the parking lot…wait a minute. There is a car driving up behind Mad Matt. Matt closes the trunk and the car drives at Matt with full speed. Matt drops and rolls out of the way, the car narrowly missing Matt. It dents the back of Matt’s car. The car backs away and drives off. Someone attempted to take Mad Matt and make a name for themselves. Matt: Son of a bitch. Trying to make a name for themselves despite the fact I said I was walking away for a while. Well screw that. I’m back. I changed my mind. It doesn’t matter what I do. It seems that I will never be able to rest. Next week I will be back to work and there will be hell to pay when I find out who attempted to do a hit and run to me. Matt gets into his car and drives off. Matt is leaving this week to cool off but he is only leaving for a week. He will be back next week... . *The scene cuts to the backstage area, where we see Panther walking towards the arena's backdoor with a black duffel bag over his right shoulder. When Panther reaches the door pushes it up and prepares to walk out into the parking lot, when... Familiar Female Voice: OW!!!!!!!!! ...two loud thuds can by heard from outside of the door. Initially startled by the noise, a concerned Panther drops his bag, cautiously slides the door open and rushes to the outside to see what happened. After about 15 seconds or so, the door opens once more, and Panther re-enters the building with his arm around Tina, who's clutching her nose and mouth. The door slowly slides shut behind them, and Panther begins messaging Tina's shoulders and neck in an effort to comfort her* Tina: (still clutching her nose) Ow... Panther: Tina, I'm so sorry. I...I didn't know... Tina: That's ok...just...don't worry about it! Panther: Well...are you ok? *Still with a look of concern on his face, Panther positions himself so that he is facing Tina, looking her in the eyes. Then, he slowly places his hands on her wrists, and gently pulls her hands from her nose. Tina slowly looks up at Panther...the pair lock eyes, and Tina smiles warmly at Panther. Initially, Panther cracks a slight smile...but it's quickly (and nervously) transformed into an angry scowl as he shoves Tina away from him* Panther: Tina, what the hell are you doing here?! Tina: (rolls eyes) I dunno, Panther. I was just in the neighborhood and the thought to myself, "Gee Tina...you're obviously not in enough pain as it is! Why not run by the arena and get your face smashed in with a door!" Panther: Look...(takes a deep breath) I said I was sorry ok...and that still doesn't change the fact that you don't belong here, Tina! I mean...damn it Tina, you're injured...you're not 100%...I mean...why risk your health coming all the way down here just to see me, Tina? Huh? I mean...what if... Tina: (giggles) Waaaaiiiit a minute...wait a minute, Panther. What makes you think that I came here tonight to see you? Panther: (laughs) What the hell do you mean what makes me think...I mean...who else would you be coming to... Unfamiliar Male voice in the background: Ready, Tina?! Tina: (smiles at someone off camera) Hey, baby! Panther: (talking under his breath) "Baby?!" *Panther has somewhat of a troubled look on his face as he turns around and spots the man Tina was referring to. The camera slowly pans right, and the crowd gives a mixed reaction as none other than the rookie Chris Bryte appears on screen. Bryte shoots Panther a HARD glare as he brushes by him, walks over to Tina and plants a kiss on her cheek. Panther looks to be in total shock as Bryte wraps his right arm around Tina's neck and shoulders* Tina: (blushing) Uh...Chris...why don't you go out to the car? I'll be ready in a second. *Bryte nods affirmitively before shooting another HARD glare in Panther's direction. Then, without taking his eyes off of Panther, Bryte slowly backs away and walks out of the backdoor. Panther laughs slightly as his eyes slowly shift back to Tina, who's grinning from ear to ear* Panther: Ok, what the hell is going on here?! How the hell do you know him?! Tina: Aww...gee P, I'd love to tell ya and all but...(angelic smile) I've got a date. Chao! *Tina turns and walks out the backdoor as Panther looks on, still shocked by the situation. He bites his bottom lip, reaches down and grabs his duffel bag, before starting for the door himself.* (CUT to commercial)

(cut backstage, to right behind the gorilla position, where Sly's tiredly clutching his belt as he runs into Northstar.) NORTHSTAR: Hey, Sly..... SLY: (sticks his hand out for a high-five; Northstar doesn't slap back) Hey, don't leave me hangin'! NORTHSTAR: Well, you might leave me hangin' here! Listen, what you did tonight was despicable! I've defended you in the past against the Board of Directors, who have wanted you out of here since the day you brought your goofy ass here, and I've admittedly given you, Colvid, and Calvin a crapload of favors in exchange for endorsement money. But I don't know if I can justify you pulling an injured man out of a stretcher, after a freak accident that I could have easily gotten out of my hands before you butted in, dropping him on his head with your American High thingy.... SLY: USA High Angle Backdrop, man! NORTHSTAR: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, my point is, you drop a man with a neck injury on his head, wrestle him for another ten or so minutes, and then drop him on his head AGAIN with a piledriver onto a chair! SLY: I know. Aren't you proud?!?! NORTHSTAR: PROUD?!?!? Are you "USA High"? I'm irate! Jacob Lyne could come to the building next week with legal papers, suing my ass for unsafe working environments, because YOU are an idiot! SLY: I'M an idiot?!?!? Whose decision was it to let the match go on after the guy dove onto his damn head? Yeah, that's right, you! So, if anything, he would have a rightful reason to sue your pants off and win! NORTHSTAR: (mumbling, looking at his feet)....that's sort of true.... SLY: I know I'm right. But, I can totally keep you out of the lawyer doo-doo. BUT, only if you give me what I want! NORTHSTAR: You can? Anything you want, name it. SLY: I don't ask for much; I'm a simple man, who advertises "No Helmets...Just Balls" by Simple Plan (looks into camera), still at retail chains everywhere....(turns back around)...and I only want one thing. You see, we got this big Pay-Per-View, Anglepalooza, coming up on the 25th. And, you see, there's this twat back here who's been sucking away at my heart lately. See, and, uh, don't tell her I told you this, but (speaks softly) I'm sort of falling in love with that Janet girl that hangs around back here a lot lately, and lately, her and Scotty Static have been seeing a lot of each other. It sucks, I know, but I can't do anything to change it. However, he said something earlier about wanting to "talk to her" later on about something, and you and I both know, that's the big line for "I wanna dump you, but I don't have the time now". That's going to hurt her a lot, and anyone that hurts her, hurts me. And anyone that hurts me, I want to hurt. So, at Anglepalooza, in order for me to take legal libel in case Jacob Lyne sues you for that, you must book me in a Total Decapitation match. Think about it: no rules, no referee; the only way to win is to knock out your opponent and be the first man to make it back to the locker room. NORTHSTAR: No. I can't do that. I have to worry about Jacob's lawsuits and medical bills; what'll happen if I let you and Static just beat the crap out of each other with no rules? SLY: No, no, no; all I'm asking for is the slot on the show. Don't sanction this match. Hell, don't even call it a match; call it a fight. NORTHSTAR: I dunno.... SLY: Trust me: this will cause controversy. Controversy brings in buyrates. Buyrates bring money, in which you can buy another Corvette with... NORTHSTAR: Now that you put it that way...you got it. I'll pencil it in for Anglepalooza, but I'm not sanctioning it. None of my referees will be out there... SLY: Dude, the match stips state we don't even need a ref! NORTHSTAR: True. But if someone gets seriously hurt, the blood is on your guys' hands, and your guys' hands alone. Got it? SLY: Totally. I just wanna leave that bastard lying flat on his back, foaming at the mouth, not knowing if he has another breath in his body... NORTHSTAR: Word around the locker room is Janet's been like that before.... SLY: Please, man, don't make those jokes about Janet. She isn't like that.... NORTHSTAR: Whatever. Just don't let this chick get too far into your head. SLY: I already had this talk with Calvin a couple of weeks ago; I just want to bloody this dude up. Listen, I'll get TE's lawyers on your case tomorrow morning. Thank you.... NORTHSTAR: No, thank YOU. (they shake hands) (The camera then follows Sly walking around backstage, when he turns to his side, and sees Scotty Static, with an EMT holding an icepack to his back due to Gibraltar's devastating chokebreaker earlier tonight. Sly looks down, and then nails a STIFF running boot to the face of Static, knocking him out of his chair!) SLY: Sorry 'bout that. Thought I saw a fly on your face; wanted to knock it off. (Sly walks off, as we Fade to Black.) (CUT to Sofa Central) Caboose: Ha ha! Calvin junior has done it once more! First he goes over the entire population of a third world country, then be beats that drip Jacob Lyne, finally he secured himself a chance to put that dancing queen Scotty Static out of the OAOAST. Calvin Junior is a lot like George Jefferson, he’s moving on up. Cole: "Calvin junior" is right. Sly wouldn’t be anywhere if wasn’t for his sneaky under the table dealings. He really does take after Calvin. I wonder if they're having a "relationship". Coach: Playas, please. Mad Matt’s leaving the arena and I’m told we’ve got a camera on him

CABOOSE: Jesus tap dancing Christ! Are we going to have another match? I feel like I’m stealing a pay check. COACH: You get paid? MC: Actually guys it is time for a match, the first-ever WCW World Television Championship defense in the history of this company, in a ladder match with the pinfall rule instated. COACH: I guess the story goes that Sly bought the belt off of eBay at the end of 2003 off of the last man to hold that belt in WCW itself, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. He somehow got his buddy....you know, the World Champ....to get GM Northstar to make the belt a binding title in this promotion. Don’t ask me any more; my head hurts just thinking about it. CABOOSE: Your head hurts when you try and come up with theories as to how babies are born, you pre-pubsecent vile pile! And get it right: Sly defeated the entire population of Puerto Rico, plus Dan Spivey, for the belt in a huge tournament in Rio de Janiero, Brazil. MC: Anyway, let’s go to the ring, for this upcoming contest which, fake title or not, is going to be excellent! (“Nitro (Youth Energy)” starts up, and Jacob Lyne comes out, his fan support noticeably growing from the previous week.) CABOOSE: I don’t get it: this guy’s with the UGW crew, who’s attempting to tear this company down from within, yet these people love him? MC: Well, unlike what some companies think, these fans can recognize heart, ability, and pure wrestling talent when they see it, and Jacob Lyne, while his associations might be questionable, his actions from bell-to-bell sure aren’t! (“Orange Crush” then starts up, and Sly Sommers struts to the ring with his “newly-won” belt, to a chorus of boos.) COACH: I doubt Sly Sommers, no matter what he might do, will ever hear a single cheer from this audience. CABOOSE: It’s a damn shame, too. ::tears up:: MC: Shut up. (Sly Sommers grabs the mic from the ring announcer) SLY: Shut up, you cue ball cumquat. Listen, since I became YOUR World Television Champion, I’ve proven myself to not only being the best wrestler on television, but the best-looking man on your television sets. But tonight, I wanna prove something else: that I have the best damn voice on television, bar none! So tonight, dude in a really bad-smelling suit, I’m gonna do your job here! MC: Somebody’s delusional..... CABOOSE: Yeah, you and your delusion that you’re not Coachman’s transsexual wife! COACH: Shut up.....uh....buttface! SLY: The following contest is an Ironman match scheduled for however many falls I wanna pin this fool! Introducing first, the dude that’s going to lose this match. From...some town in Georgia that I can neither prononunce nor give a crap about, weighing in at....you smugged your cards here, numb-nuts...uh, I’d guess, in normal weight, around 180, but I’ll be damned if your steroid weight isn’t around 220! CABOOSE: Somebody’s been watching his Raven shoot interview tapes. SLY: Anyway, ladies and germs, here is “Your Role Model, But Sure As Hell Not Mine!” Jacob Lion! (Jacob yells “it’s Lyne!”) Whatever, Simba, just don’t eat my head off! Anyway, and his opponent, and your American idol, weighing in at a swelvte 199 45/46 pounds, I am a former, but screwed-over nonetheless, X-Division Champion, 3-time Parchessi Champion of the Universe, the Mayor of Butte, Montana, and the current, reigning, defending....and gonna keep it that way.....WCW World Television Champioooooooooooooon, representing Totally Endorsed, I am Sly “The Sly” Sommers! (slides into the ring with the mic as the bell rings) You know, man, that job is.....whoa!..... Jacob rolls him up with a schoolboy as Sly’s blabbing on........1..........2.............3! MC: Jacob Lyne has won the first fall within maybe three seconds! CABOOSE: The bell didn’t even ring yet! COACH: Yeah, it did. CABOOSE: You better not say that when we take this case to court, or I got two buddies in New York that’ll make you take a dirt nap! Both men make it to their feet, and Sly yells and kicks the ropes and turnbuckle pads for a while. Then, he does some weird pose and channels his zen, as he calms down. Sly then challenges Lyne to a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Jacob pretends like he goes in for it, but, knowing what Sly did to him during the Time-Gauntlet with this same move, he then clutches the arm that Sly put out, and locks in a reverse hammerlock. Sly tries to hook Jacob’s head for a headlock reversal, but Lyne drops down as Sommers turns, and nails a fireman’s carry. Lyne then goes for a reverse cravate. However, Sly is quick to bridge up, twist around, and pick Lyne up. However, whatever Sly was going for quickly got reversed into an elevated snapmare, sending Sly to the outside. Lyne then runs to the other side, bounces off of the ropes, and nails an amazing no-touch twisting tope over the top rope, ending in a moonsault press! MC: Jacob Lyne has his anti-gravity boots on tonight! COACH: This man knows no bounds! Lyne rolls Sly back into the ring, and goes for the cover. However, he has Sly too close to the ropes. So, he rolls Sommers closer to the center of the ring, and hooks the leg.....1......2.....kickout. Lyne pulls Sommers up, and attempts an Irish whip. However, Sly reverses, and connects with a standing back elbow on the way back. He then kisses his rather-small bicep, and drops the elbow. Sommers shakes his finger "no", and pulls Jacob up. Sly shoves Lyne into a corner, and works him over with four stiff chops to the chest. Sly then goes to the second rope, grabs the back of Lyne's head, and falls forward with a Kanyon-like falling-knee-to-the-back-of-the-head thingy. Sly then stands on his knees, posing, with his left shin conviently on the throat of Lyne. The referee notices after about five seconds, and makes Sly get up. Sly argues with the ref, and Lyne scores another schoolboy........1..........2........Sly rolls up, Jacob quickly gets to his feet, and scores with a high dropkick, sending Sommers down. MC: Looks like "The Role Model" has Sly's number tonight! CABOOSE: No, that weird chick at the DMV does. Someone should tell him that he needs to drive there after this match because she's been waiting for an hour. Both men back to their feet, and Lyne whips Sly to the ropes. Lyne attempts to go for a Scott Steiner-circa-1990 Frankensteiner, but Sly holds onto the top rope, and Lyne falls onto his back. Sly then comes off of the ropes on the catty-corner side, and drops a legdrop. Sly goes for a lazy cover....1.....2....Lyne puts Sly on his shoulders with a crucifix......1........2.....Sly kicks out, but Lyne immediately rolls himself to a state-roll position...........1..........2......Sly shoves him off to the ropes. Sly stays on his back, and attempts a monkey flip as Jacob comes off of the ropes. However, Lyne lands on his feet when hit with the move, does a pivot twist, and nails a somersault legdrop on Sommers. Lyne goes for the pin.........1.........2........kickout. Lyne pulls Sly up, and whips him off to the ropes. Sommers attempts to go for a flying headscissors, but Jacob reverses with a sit-down face slam. MC: Sommers just cannot get an advantage at all on Jacob Lyne. CABOOSE: Anyone wanna take odds on what performance-enhancing drugs he's using? Lyne pulls him to his back for a cover.......1.......2......Sommers kicks out. Jacob then goes to a corner, jogs out, and nails his Running Shooting Star Press. Jacob goes for the cover again...............1................2.......Sly rakes Jacob's eyes to get him off. Both men stumble to their feet, and Sly goes for a European uppercut. However, Jacob grabs Sly's arm, hooks the other one, and falls into a double-chicken-wing cradle.....1.....2.....kickout. Both men up, Sommers nails a leg trip to send Lyne to his back, and attempts to hold Jacob down for a pin by locking hands with Jacob, and leaning on them.........1........2.......Lyne bridges up, and gets his right arm up. Sly puts it down again...............1.............2............Lyne then bridges up and gets his left arm up. So, Sly puts that arm down, and sit with his ankles on Jacob's thighs......1.......2......Lyne rolls into a ball for a second, puts his feet into Sly's stomach, pulls himself up using Sommers, and nails a monkey flip, sending Sly to the outside. COACH: Jacob Lyne, out-classing the World TV Champion at every attempt! Lyne then springboards to the top rope, and attempts a corkscrew press. However, Sly slides back into the ring while Lyne's in mid-air, and Jacob wipes out in the front row, while banging the back of his head and neck on the edge of the guardrail! Lyne looks basically unconscious, and the referee, as well as a lot of the fans at ringside, look seriously concerned for his health after that mishap. The referee slides outside of the ring, and checks over Lyne. He lifts Jacob's head up, and the fall onto the guardrail busted open the back of his head. Jacob is unable to answer when the referee asks him if he's okay. EMT's quickly come out, and load Jacob onto a stretcher. MC: Um, fans, I can assure you right now; what you just saw there was as real as it gets. No gimmicks, no storylines, none of that. COACH: It looked as if Jacob was going for a corkscrew dive, but he overshot and unfortunately might have landed on his skull on the metal guardrail. CABOOSE: Um.....to be serious for a moment, as much as I might say I hate the guy on these shows, I really hope what happened to Jacob isn't that serious. The way he landed, and I'm trying not to hope for the worst, but, guys, he might be brain-dead. MC: Sadly, he might be. On behalf of every wrestler, announcer, and employee here at HeldDOWN~!, I truly..... All of a sudden, Sly Sommers baseball slides the stretcher, and knocks it over! MC: What the hell? COACH: That's purely disgusting! Sly shoves off an EMT, and unstraps Jacob from the stretcher. Sly thenpicks Jacob up, and rolls him back into the ring. Sly looks at him, and says, "Eh, he doesn't look done yet!", so he pulls Lyne up, and nails the USA High Angle Backdrop, onto the top of a lifeless Lyne's head! Sly goes for the cover, ..................1.................2................3! Sly Sommers has taken advantage of a serious situation for his own personal gain! MC: On behalf of this entire company, I have to apologize for Sly Sommers's behavior there. COACH: This wasn't a part of the show; this type of stuff really can happen. But then, Sly just HAD to be selfish, like usual, and take advantage of the situation for his own personal gain! CABOOSE: Usually, I support Sly's actions, but not this time. That was a really crappy thing to do! Nonetheless, they're now tied at one fall apiece. Sly then cockily does jumping jacks around the ring, and mockingly holds his own neck in pain. RING ANNOUNCER: Fans, I've been informed that this match is continuing, with the falls at 1-1 apiece, and we have ten minutes remaining in the time limit! Sly then pretends like he's dialing a phone, and screams, "10-10-3-2-1, that's what's gonna happen for me, baby!" Sly then pulls the body of Jacob Lyne up, and shoves him into a corner. Sly says to Jacob, "Aw, does the poor baby have a bad neck?", and starts strangling Lyne. The referee makes him break it up after a four-count. Sly then nails a stiff back elbow in the corner. After that, Sommers does some weird snake sliver dance, ala Davy Jones of the Monkees, and yells, "I'm a Daydream Believer, and you, my friend, are just a homecomin' queen!" MC: First, he pins a man who might be crippled. Then he adds insult to injury by mocking him! COACH: Absolutely deplorable! Sly then points to the other side of the ring, as if he's going to throw Lyne over there. Sly attempts a big hiptoss, but somehow, Lyne amazingly finds it within himself to counter it with a monkey flip! MC: What in the.....? COACH: Jacob Lyne might have the most guts of any man in the business today! Lyne makes it to one knee as Sly gets up and charges at him, and Lyne connects with a punch to the stomach. Lyne then shoves Sly stomach-first into the corner. Sly bounces off, and Jacob nails a Russian leg sweep. Lyne goes for the cover, but Sly gets his leg on the rope. Though he's moving a bit gingerly, Jacob is able to pull Sly to his feet, and go for an Irish whip. Jacob goes for a clothesline, but Sly ducks it, and connects with a Rude Awakening onto his own knee. Sommers then sits Lyne up, and locks in a reverse cravate, cranking the neck. Jacob spends about twenty seconds in the move before the crowd's cheering and clapping pumps him up enough so that he can slowly get to his knees. Jacob then elbows his way out of the move, but Sommers reaches out and pulls him down by the hair. MC: Man, can Sly get any more despicable? CABOOSE: As the king of despicable, I can tell you, not much more. Sommers then goes for his Cravateface submission hold, but somehow, Jacob is able to roll out of it, and into a front cradle.....1......2.....Sly rolls him into a sunset cradle.......1.............2...............both men roll out, and Sly whips Lyne to the ropes. Lyne nails a high jumping heel kick. Lyne goes for the cover...........1........2......Sly hooks Lyne's head, rolls him over, and locks in a small package variation.............1..........2..........kickout. Both men get up, in center-ring, and exchange punches. After twenty punches altogether, Jacob gets the advantage with three repeated forearms to the face. Lyne whips Sly off to the ropes, and catches him on his shoulders horizontally. Lyne goes for a TKO, but Sly lands on his feet behind Lyne. Sly then picks Lyne up on his shoulders, belly-up, horizontally, and nails the Cut Day! MC: I'm sorry, but why must you have to do that to someone who you could probably do something much lesser to and get the victory, considering his injury? COACH: That was a mouthful, but I agree. Sly goes for the cover...............................1.........................2................. ......KICKOUT! MC: Can you believe THAT? CABOOSE: For once, I gotta agree with you. That was unbelieveable! COACH: Unfortunately, we've gotta go to a commercial break right now! We'll be back with the concluding moments of Sly Sommers battling Jacob Lyne for the WCW World Television Title! Be back in three! ********************* MC: We are back, with around five minutes - I don't have a stopwatch around here - to go in this exciting, yet in some ways, disgusting Ironman contest for the WCW World TV Title between Sly Sommers of Totally Endorsed and "The Role Model" Jacob Lyne. COACH: Before the break, Lyne made a miraculous comeback from a possible paralyzing freak accident, after Sly disgustingly took advantage of it, and dropped Jacob on the top of his head AGAIN, and even kicked out of the Cut Day! CABOOSE: We're cutting in here, as Sommers just got screwed out of a three-count by the slow ref. MC: Shut up; it was a clean two-count! Sly then throws a fit on the mat in frustration. He then gets up, and argues with the referee about a possible slow count. Jacob comes behind Sly, and goes for another surprise schoolboy. However, Sly pivot-spins, and kicks Lyne in the jaw. Sly then goes into his tights, and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. When Lyne gets up, Sly goes to punch him with them. However, the referee grabs Sly's hand, and grabs the brass knuckles out of his hand. As Sly follows the referee, who's going to hand the foreign object to the timekeeper, Lyne hooks Sly in for a German suplex. Sly tries to grab the referee in a waistlock to anchor himself down, but the referee ends up getting German suplexed by Sly, ending in a double-German Suplex! MC: My lord! How did Lyne find the strength to do that? COACH: I don't know, but it looks like all three men are out! Lyne cannot bridge Sommers due to the condition of his neck. After lying around for about ten seconds, Sly pushes himself to a kneeling position, and then rolls outside of the ring. Sommers swipes the timekeeper's chair, and then heads into the ring. He sizes Lyne up. When Lyne pulls himself to his feet with the ropes, Sly takes a swing at Jacob with the chair. However, Jacob ducks, and Sly drops the chair. Sommers turns around, and Lyne drops him with a flatliner. Jacob then signals for the Crop Circle. Lyne pulls Sly closer to the corner, and goes up top. Jacob launches off.....and connects! Lyne hooks the leg, and goes for the pin. The crowd counts along..........1......2......3.....4....5......6.....however, with the referee unconcious, none of it helps. MC: If it wasn't for Sly's desperation referee attack or whatever you might call it, Jacob Lyne would have overcome the odds, come back from a sickening neck injury, and gotten the lead yet again on Sommers! Lyne gets off of Sly, and goes to check on the referee. Sly pulls himself to a dazed sitting position after about fifteen seconds of Jacob trying to awaken the referee. Lyne sees Sly, and turns around to keep Sly down. However, Sly blocks Jacob's charge with a crotch shot. Sly then slides the chair to mid-ring, and gets up. Sly puts Jacob's head in between his legs.....and piledrives him onto the chair! COACH: My goodness! Sommers, that despicable pissant, has droven a man who almost became paralyzed tonight, head-first, onto a steel chair! Sommers slides the chair out of the ring, and goes for the cover. A second referee then runs out from the back, and counts the pin..............1................2......................3! MC: I cannot believe he did that! CABOOSE: I think Sly lives, breathes, and dies by the motto, "Do anything but die to win". RING ANNOUNCER: With only one minute remaining, Sly Sommers has taken the lead in this Ironman contest, two wins to one! MC: I don't usually take sides, but get up, Jacob! You've got to! As Sommers practically takes a nap in one of the corners, the crowd cheers Jacob Lyne to somehow get to his feet, and at least tie this thing up before time runs out. CABOOSE: I'm sorry, but there is no way, after a piledriver onto a chair, especially with the injury that this guy may have suffered earlier, that he's gonna get up, let alone pin the champ! After laying motionless for about thirty seconds, Jacob starts to show signs of life. Lyne gets the strength to turn over, and push off of the mat with about twenty seconds left. Sommers, ever the opportunist, hops up off of the top turnbuckle in the corner, and goes to pound on Jacob. However, Jacob makes a hop upward with all of his might, hooks Sly's head, and brings him down with a small package................1................2........Sommers rolls it into a pin of his own...................1..............2..............both men then roll around in the small package, until Jacob is somehow able to hook it into a pin of his own...........1..........2.........BUZZER!!! RING ANNOUNCER: Your winner of the contest, winning two falls to one, still your WCW World Television Champion.....Sly Sommers! MC: Oh no! Time is up, and that creep keeps his belt! COACH: You've gotta give it up for the valiant effort of "The Role Model"; living up to his nickname and setting an example for everyone by fighting out of a freak accident and a freak trying to emphasize that accident, and still came back to almost tie it up in the end! CABOOSE: Yeah, even I, the dude that hates all good and wholesome, must give Jacob Lyne his props. Sly clutches his belt from the timekeeper, and runs to the back, holding his fist in the air to a ton of boos. However, as Jacob Lyne gets helped from the ring, he gets a loud round of applause for his amazing performance tonight. MC: The fans here tonight, definately respecting the guts and heart of Jacob Lyne, and I got to respect them for that! COACH: Gutsy effort tonight, but you gotta outcreep the creep sometimes in order to grab the brass ring. CABOOSE: Ha ha, I got a scoop on you two. According to my earpiece, we've gotta send it to the back, Northstar's approaching Sly backstage!

(We cut backstage, where Jacob Lyne is doing push-ups on a set of chairs. All of a sudden, we see a pair of men’s legs come into the scene. The camera pans up, and it’s Totally Endorsed member and current WCW World Television Champion Sly Sommers.) SLY: Hello, Jake. My name is Sly Sommers. You might remember me from such matches as the Parental Indiscretion match on Christmas Day, where I totally destroyed St. Andrew, or the huge Cage match from Deadly Game, where I beat two men single-handedly for the X-Division Title, or, more importantly, myself versus your mom last night in the hotel room, where she might have pinned me, but I left her laying! JACOB: (gets to his feet) And I’m “The Role Model” Jacob Lyne, who you might remember from me kicking your ass last week from the Time Gauntlet. SLY: Yeah, suuuuure. At least my nickname’s marketable. Who’s gonna go around wearin’ a t-shirt that says “The Role Model” on it? Del Wilkes? Anyway, I didn’t come here to lambast you on your retardation. I came here to let you know that, because the Board of Directors are impressed by flippity-hoo-ha’s and stupid stuff like that, you SOMEHOW got to the front of the line for a shot at MY WCW World Television Champion! You know how much money I sp....I mean, you know how I got this belt? I won a big tournament. It was gigantic, in Rio de Janiero, Brazil. I beat thirty-two...no, I mean, sixty-four....no, wait, it was one-hundred-and-twenty-eight.....thousand guys, in this one-night single-elimination tournament thing! I beat Waylon Mercy! I beat Dan Spivey! Hell, I even beat that really tall dude that hung out with Dick Slater and the Barbarian in WCW in 1992! But, that’s not the point! The point is, tonight, if you want this belt so bad, you’ve got to earn it. How will you earn it, you might ask? Well, seeing as if I’ve somehow dominated my opponents in every single gimmick match possible, I’ve taken it upon myself to, tonight, draw from random stipulations from a hat for my defense. And tonight, since you did so freaking well in the Time-Gauntlet last week, how about we go at it in a twenty-minute Iron Man match? JACOB: I’d really like that, punk! SLY: Who you calling a punk, you.....dude that, uh, listens to lots of Operation Ivy and, uh.....believes in anarchy? JACOB: Just do me a favor: make sure the belt looks just like it did when Jim Duggan mailed it to your house after the auction finished, okay? SLY: Why you little.....nevermind! I’m outtie! (Sly walks down the hallway, and sees Janet, sipping coffee and smiling really widely.) SLY: Hey there.....so, uh, how’d things go last week with Scotty? JANET: He’s the greatest! We went ice skating, and he took me out for ice cream, and then I helped him pick out a present for his little niece’s Christmas. He was so nice, and charming, and treated me like a princess. In fact, he left me a text message saying that he wanted to meet me sometime later this week because he had something he needed to tell me. (cell phone goes off) Hey, listen, I’ve got a call I’ve got to take in private. I gotta run, bye! (she runs off) SLY: Wait a second....usually when I tell a girl I got something I need to tell her, I’m usually...blowing her off. He better not hurt her. That’s it, he’s dying. (sees Gibraltar walking down the hallway with St. Andrew gloating over their victory) Oh, yes, he is dead. Thank God for miracles! (CUT to da S.C.)

(RETRUN to the show) The cameras cut to the office of Northstar, the HeldDown GM. Hoff enters the office, letting the door swing open behind him. Northstar is sitting in his chair, elbows on the table, hands folded, index fingers raised. A stern look is on his face. To his left stands Charlie Hoss, arms crossed, angry expression, but unmoving. Hoff's face is expressionless; his eyes almost glossed over in a faraway expression. Hoff approaches the desk, not taking a seat. Northstar looks at Hoff, as though he expects Hoff to speak. Hoff remains silent. NORTHSTAR "So, don't you even want to know why I sent for you, darling?" Hoff's expression doesn't change. "You're not the least bit curious?" Northstar straightens in his chair. "You don't wonder, maybe, why I cancelled your match at Bloody, Battered & Beaten?" Hoff's eyebrows raise slightly at this, but he remains silent. Hoss casts an angry, scornful look at Hoff. "Let me tell you something, big boy. I decided to let you Underground boys in here, not because I'm such a fabulous guy, but because you guys were fresh and new. And fresh and new equals ratings." Northstar stands up out of his chair. "I saw in you a whole new world, a possiblity of tremendous storylines, fantastic drama, and soaring buyrates. But all I've gotten is trouble. All you've done is cause chaos. You guys don't even have a T-shirt -- what kind of marketing is that?" Northstar's lips part into a smile. "Still, I've let you boys have your playtime. You've had your run back here. But after what you and CWM did to Zack Malibu, my star, my franchise player..." The crowd cheers at the mention of Zack's name. "I thought about it, and frankly, I was worried you were just too dangerous to allow in the ring. And after last week, it looks like I was right." Hoff's head lowers slightly as Northstar walks around the desk and towards him. NORTHSTAR "What the hell were you thinking last week?" Hoff, head still lowered, mumbles "I had a job to do..." NORTHSTAR "A job to do? A JOB TO DO?! You could very well have killed one of the premiere players in all of the OAOAST, and for what? For some bullshit agenda that Superstar has? To prove how tough you were? What is it? What the hell were you thinking?" Northstar lowers his head to look at Hoff's face, but Hoff just turns his head away. NORTHSTAR "I'll tell you something, dearie. One more stunt like that and I'll make sure you never set foot in this company again. And as far as getting in the ring goes, forget it. You say you're not a wrestler? That's fine with me." Hoff lifts his head at that statement. NORTHSTAR "You know, the police were here earlier, looking for you. I sent them away, told them you weren't here. But this is the only time I'm ever bailing you out, honey. From now on, you play nice with everyone. You stay out of other people's affairs, and you keep your mitts off of my talent." Hoff stares at Northstar for a moment, then shifts his gaze to Charlie Hoss. Hoss takes a step forward, but Hoff lowers his head again and turns for the doorway. As he passes through the doorframe, he pauses and turns toward Northstar. HOFF "You shouldn't have sent the cops off." Northstar and Hoss exchange a perplexed glance as Hoff turns and walks out of the office (Cut to sofa central!) Coach: What does Northstar care if Hoff bashed CWM's brains in? Didn't Hoff do Northstar a favor? I thought he hated CWM. Caboose: On a personal level, Northstar doesn't like CWM. But, on a business level, Northstar loves him because he's a proven main eventer who guarantees valuable ratings . Cole: Northstar's like Smigel from "Lord of the rings". I can just see Northstar clawing at the cast of Friends and screaming "It's mine! It's Northstar's precious rating points." Coach: Fans, please ignore him. We're going to take you backstage to rising star Jacob Lyne and after that maybe we can have actually have a wrestling match! Boy howdy! Would that be swell!

Cole: Oh! Last week we saw a very disturbing incident take place between former Underground leader CWM and his heavy, Hoff. It was a malicious attack that Northstar has deemed to violent to show on TV. We fear that we may never hear from CWM again. Here to shed a little more light on CWM's situation is the doctor assigned to care for him. *The camera pans out revealing a battered and beaten CWM. His entire body is swathed in bandages and he's sporting two black eyes. CWM is asleep, passed out due to the pain. The camera swivles around to a doctor.* DR: I'm Mr. Akeroyd's, or as he's known to wrestling fan's "CWM", doctor. Mr. Akeroyd came into the hospital with severe cuts and lacerations from being put through a window. This coupled with the numerous other injuries he has suffered throughout his career well... let's just say it's a miracle that he isn't dead. Mr. Akeroyd is a very resilient individual. However after being attacked by "Hoff" last week things have taken a drastic turn for the worst. The blow to the head has scrambled Mr. Akeroyd's motor skill. He may never walk again and he certainly won't be able to wrestle, to do so would to risk death. From off camera: Wh...what' going on? *the camera swings around, CWM has awoken.* CWM: Can't I get a moment's peace? It's bad enough that I was put in the hospital but now I have to have OAOAST cameramen barging into my hospital room? Isn't it enough that I've sacraficied my body and soul for the OAOAST?!? I gave EVERYTHING to the OAOAST and to the fans. And they CHEERED when Zack threw me through the ambulance window. As far as I was concerned that was the final betrayal. But then... Hoff shows up and drives a tire iron into my skull. Thanks to Hoff I may never walk again. Now I'm a cripple. I can't even feel my legs! I can't do the simplest things to look after myself! I need a nurse to change my clothing because I don't know when I need to use the bathroom!! I AM NOTHING NOW! But as bad as I am, I garuntee you one thing... I will be back. And when I come back... Hoff will wish he finished the job. Hoff...If you're watching... get ready. Draft a will, if you have loved ones say goodbye to them, because I'm going to make what you did to me look like NOTHING! *CWM glares daggers at the camera as the doctor escourts the cameraman out of the room* DR: Mr. Akeroyd has yet to come to terms with the reality of his situation. The odds of him making a full recovery are almost nill. The only way he'll pull through this is if he knows people out there care about him. We've set up an email address for his fans to send him get well messages. [email protected] (CUT to house show advertisements!)

(We go backstage to Northstar and his fiancé Alix. Northstar is putting on eye shadow, while Alix is drinking beer and watching hockey. Their special moment is interrupted by Candie and Zack Malibu storming into the room!) Candie: Ass hole! Northstar: Wha...wha?? Candie: Ass hole! Zack: Candie, chill. Candie: Chill? Zack, you're just as mad at him as I am! Why should I chill out? Zack: Candie, calm down. Alix: Yelling isn't going to accomplish anything. Candie: But, he's an....ass hole! Northstar: Darling, do you have turrets syndrome? Zack: Northstar, shut up. Northstar: Darling, that isn't very... Zack: Seriously, shut up. Keep your mouth closed and your ears open. Candie shouldn't have barged in here and cursed at you the way she did. But she's only saying what the every one of us is thinking. You are a major league ass hole. I've known it since day one. But now the rest of the roster see's you for what you really are, a scheming, low down, good for nothing prick. Northstar: That's way harsh. Tell me, love, what has brought upon such hostility. Zack: This movie deal. The entire backstage is overcrowded a with production crew, extras, reporters and actors. There's not enough room for the wrestlers! The people who make it so you can afford your Audi's and your vacations to Switzerland don't have enough room to do their jobs, man! I saw Peter Knight changing out in the freezing cold. You've turned our home into a damn circus and you didn't even consult a single one of us. Northstar: I fail to see why master should seek permission from slave, love. Darling, in your pitiful attempt to maintain your fragile prep rebel image you fail to know your place. Therefore I must put you in it. Whether you approve of my movie or not, is inconsequential. I do what I feel is best for the roster, sweet heart. If it makes you and your hood rat fuck buddy a little miffed; then sorry. But you must understand something. "3 stages of hell" is the best thing to ever happen to this brand. We've done all we can do as a wrestling show, now it's time to spread our wings, shake off the shackles of the OAOAST and emerge as an independent entertainment conglomerate! Candie: Ass hole! Alix: Are those the only two words you know? Candie: Bitch! Alix: Proved me wrong. Northstar: Sweeties, haven't you ever wanted to be celebrities? This is going to make you into vaunted superstars. I'm talking about you two being the next J.Lo and Ben. I'm talking about rumors running rampant of Zack's homosexuality. You'll all be stars and it'll all be because of my masterstrokes of genius! Candie: We want to be stars because of our hard work and effort. Not because you slept with some movie producer. We're not going to sell out our careers and our profession just so you can make a quick buck and get a spot on E! True Hollywood story. (Candie grabs Zack's hand and they leave the room) Alix: That was the most coherent thing she's said since she's been here and it took her six minutes to come up with it. (CUT to sofa central) Coach: What does Zack mean by everyone is upset with Northstar. The only way I could be more thrilled with Northstar is if he booked Crystal verus Alix in a nipple pinching match! He's giving us all a chance to be big screen stars! Cole: How do you figure? I spent my morning bringing coffee to Buff Bagwell. Caboose: Northstar's kind of right. If you're an ally of the GM's office you stand to make a killing off this project. But if you're on his bad side, then I feel sorry for you. (Awkward pause) Cole: Why's everyone looking at me? Caboose: We're waiting for you to take us to our next segment.