Patty O'Green

OAOAST Event Tracker is brought to you by Drag Me To Hell, now in theaters across the country June 4th, 2009 - Biloxi, MS June 11th, 2009 - Tokyo, Japan June 18th, 2009 - London, England June 25th, 2009 - Bridgeport, CT We cut backstage where Morgan Nerdly carries to cups of ice coffee, she looks a bit more cheerful than usual. One would assume that's due to being on her way to see Lorelei. MORGAN Lori, I got Iced Coffee! She enters the The Enterprise dressing room, only to find Lorelei sprawled out on the floor. Morgan drops her iced coffees and immediately rushes to Lorelei's aid. MORGAN Lorelei? Lorelei? There's no answer and Morgan begins to look even more paniced. MORGAN Lorelei, speak to me! No response from the limp body of Lorelei. MORGAN I need a paramedic! Somebody get me a paramedic!

Right now you say? Right now There's pandemonium backstage with The Rockers and The Christ Air Express in a brawl that's hardly contained by security officers. LOGAN What do you think you're doing messing with my wife! MARV Just giving you guys a taste of your own medicine! SYNTH I's gotcha medicine right here, punkass! MEL Then bring it! Synth indeed does bring and Logan and the Nerdly twins try to do the same However a gaggle of security guards impedes their fight, leaving them to curse and shout at one another. COLE The war between The Heavenly Rockers and The Christ Air Express continues I don't feel like writing entrances, so pretend this video is the entrances. *DING DING DING* All eight men stand around in a circle, looking at the briefcase in the air. COLE And that's what it's all about, right there! That briefcase contains a contract for a shot at the OAOAST World title! Reject and PRL begin to slug it out, and the rest of the combatants follow suit! COLE And here we go! Everyone spills to the outside, while Cortez pounds on Bo inside the ring. Cortez stops to go to the top rope, as PRL, Denzel, Reject, Alf, and Blonde all slug it out with one another, and flies into the pack with a flying bodypress! COLE Cortez putting it on the line early here! Meanwhile, in the ring, Reiger sets up a ladder! COACH Look at Spencer! Reiger starts to climb, but Bo gets to his feet and pulls him off, then hammers away on the back. Reiger rolls outside, and Bo follows, as Reject and Cortez roll inside and start climbing the ladder. COLE And now it's Todd Cortez and Reject making the climb! Reject and Cortez slug it out atop the ladder, until Denzel rolls inside and shoves it over, with Reject and Cortez landing on the ropes with their midsection and spilling to the floor. Denzel then climbs the ladder. COLE Denzel Spencer going for the early win! PRL slides in, and shoves the ladder over once more, but Denzel is able to come down on his feet, and catches PRL with a flying forearm! COLE Nice move by Denzel, able to catch himself and stay on the offense! PRL fights back, as Blonde loots around under the ring, but gets hammered from behind by Alf. Alf then pulls out a kendo stick! COACH Uh-oh... Alf spins the kendo stick around as the fans get into it, and delivers a shot to the gut of Blonde! He then levels Reject in the back from behind, then a shot to the gut of Cortez! He then makes his way back to Blonde, and brings the stick down onto his head! COACH OH, no! Alf raises the stick in the air, but is attacked from behind by Reiger. COLE Spencer Reiger from behind, as James Blonde has been busted open by that kendo stick! Reiger grabs Alf by the head, and tosses him into the steel steps! He then stomps away on Bo and PRL, before grabbing another ladder and laying it across the ring apron and support rail. As Bo tosses Blonde into the ring, Reiger sets up a suplex on Alf towards the ladder, but Alf blocks and delivers a suplex of his own! COLE Reiger had intents of suplexing Alf onto that ladder, but Alf turns it around! Blonde manages to get the better of Bo, and stomps him to the outside. He rolls out and grabs a trashcan, then rolls back inside. He meets PRL in mid-ring, and delivers a shot with the can! COLE And look at James Blonde with the trash can! GARBAGE DAY~! Reject rolls inside, and takes a shot! Blonde then delivers a shot to Alf! Blonde then turns around and sees Todd Cortez, mulls it over for a second, then flattens him with a shot! COACH COLE Blonde just hit Cortez with the trash can! Remember, every man for himself! COACH I guess so! Blonde celebrates his feat, to boos, but takes a shot from a ladder from Denzel! Reiger then jumpes Denzel from behind, but walks into a Bo spinebuster! COLE BIG spinebuster from Bo! Bo then opens up a ladder and lays it on the mat, then lays a closed ladder inside it. He then communicates with Denzel, who nods and climbs to the top rope. COACH Oh, this isn't fair, these two are working together! Bo holds Reiger's face inches from the ladder, with Denzel having the intent of coming down onto the ladder, thus springing into the face of Reiger. However, Cortez intervenes, shoving Denzel off the top to the floor! COACH Whew! Thank goodness for Cortez right there! Bo knocks Cortez off the apron, then sets up a powerbomb onto the ladder! COLE Powerbomb coming! However, PRL dropkicks Bo from behind, as Reiger simultaneously backdrops him onto the ladder! COLE A little inadvertent teamwork, and it's Bo who tastes the ladder! PRL boots Reiger in the gut, and tosses him outside, then lays another ladder on the mat, and sets Bo on it. COLE And how about this matchup, PRL against Bo? PRL hammers Bo on the ladder, then climbs to the top. He gets his balance, and comes off for the PEOPLE'S ELBOW DROP~!!!...but Bo moves out of the way, and PRL lands on the ladder! COLE Nobody home! COACH Look at this! Denzel climbs up immediately after PRL lands, and hits him with the KINPUPPALICK ON THE LADDER~!!!!!11111 COLE And Denzel with that 450 splash on PRL, on the ladder! Bo gets to his feet, and grabs a ladder, delivering chest-level shots to Cortez, Reject, and Blonde, while Denzel begins to climb a ladder. Bo climbs the other side, and slugs away at Denzel, knocking him off. However, after he does this, Cortez comes from behind and powerbombs him down to the mat! Cortez then floors Reject and Alf with clotheslines as they roll into the ring. He then hits a baseball slide on PRL, before picking up a ladder. COLE And maybe Todd Cortez making a climb here... However, as he starts, Reiger springs off a chair, and catches him with the NEW YORK KNOCKOUT~! COACH Whoa! COLE The New York Knockout out of nowhere! Reiger celebrates his feat, then eats a SUPERKICK~! from Alf! Alf sets up a ladder, and begins to climb. COLE Here he goes! Is it going to be Alf? As Alf climbs the ladder, Reject sneaks up from behind, and delivers a low blow! COLE Reject, ever the opportunist, scoring with a low blow! Denzel slides in behind Reject, and delivers a foot to the gut, followed by a scissor kick! He then rolls outside to the announcers' table and starts picking it apart. COLE Denzel picking apart our table here... Denzel slugs away at Reiger, then rolls him onto the table. Denzel then grabs the big ladder from underneath the ring, and begins to climb. COLE Don't do this, Denzel! Go get the briefcase! Denzel gains his balance on the top, and LEGDROPS REIGER THROUGH THE ANNOUNCERS' TABLE~!!! COLE A legdrop, through Spencer Reiger, through the table! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! COLE Both of these guys are out of it! COACH Denzel Spencer's ladder legdrop, was it cool or what? Meanwhile, back in the ring, Bo goes to pick up Reject...but gets hit with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 out of nowhere! COLE And Reject with the Eulogy on Bohemoth! Reject then catches Todd Cortez coming in, and gives him a EULOGY~!!!!!11111, as well! COLE And now Cortez getting one! PRL delivers a foot to the gut of Reject, then hooks him for the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!11111, but Reject spins out, and catches him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111, as well! COLE And one for PRL! And Reject, now, with his sights set on the briefcase! Reject grabs the big ladder from the outside, and slides it into the ring. COLE And there you see Denzel Spencer and Spencer Reiger, still out of it! Reject begins to climb the big ladder, but Alf approaches slowly, and brings him down with a LOW BLOW~! COLE And there's a little payback for Alf, from Reject's low blow earlier! Alf sets up a normal-sized ladder, and begins to climb,as Reject comes to, and climbs the big ladder again. As Alf gets to the top, he starts to grab the briefcase, but Blonde grabs his ladder from underneath him, leaving him hanging in mid-air! COLE Alf suspended in mid-air, with no ladder! Reject gets on level with Alf, then waits for the right moment...and takes him FROM THE SUSPENDED BRIEFCASE, TO THE MAT, WITH THE EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE/COACH HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! Alf convulses on the mat, as Reject is also out of it. Blonde sets up the ladder, and begins to climb...but is shocked to see Cortez looking down at him from the other side of the ladder! COLE Look at this! Remember, Cortez took a trashcan to the head from Blonde earlier! Cortez has a grin on his face, then rams Blonde's head into the top of the ladder once, twice, three time! He then drags Blonde far enough over the ladder to hook a standing headscissors. COACH Oh no... COLE Is he going for what I think he is? Cortez bends over Blonde and grabs the sides of the ladder, pulling himself down, and executing a RIOT ACT PLUS FROM THE LADDER~!!!!!11111 COLE IT IS! A Riot Act Plus from the top of the ladder! Cortez slowly gets to his feet, but Bo comes in and catches him with the EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!!!!!1111, onto a ladder! COLE Erotic Awakening of B~! Bo starts to climb a ladder, but Alf starts to climb the other side. COLE I can't believe Alf is back in the match! Bo delivers a couple rights to Alf at the top, but Alf dodges one, then chokes Bo across the top of the ladder. He then gouges the eyes of Bo, then reaches across with a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! This sends Bo down to the mat, but Alf, rather than go for the briefcase, opts to get his balance atop the ladder, and deliver a FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER~!!!!!11111 COLE Alf with the Five-Star to Bo from the top of the ladder! PRL grabs Alf from behind, and sets up the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!11111...but Alf grabs the legs and trips him up, then hooks him in the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE Alf with the Sharpshooter on PRL! COACH But what good does that do in this match? As PRL screams in pain and reaches for the ropes, Reject sets up a ladder and begins to climb, forcing Alf to release the hold and go after him. Alf catches up to him atop the ladder, and wins a slugfest, prompting Thunderkid and Mr. Dick to rush to the ring! COLE Wait a minute, here comes the Deadly Alliance! Alf hops down, and meets both men with clotheslines, but Reject attacks from behind, and a 3-on-1 beatdown ensues. TK and MD retreat to the outside and bring a GLASS table from underneath the ring. COACH Look at that table, it's made of glass! TK and MD slide the table into the ring, and Reject sets it up, but Alf starts firing back on him! COLE And look at Alf fight back! Suddenly, PRL hits TK and MD with a plancha on the outside! He then slides back in as Reject slugs Alf down, the two hammer away on one another. PRL slams Reject in the middle of the ring, and the crowd buzzes. COLE Could be the Puerto Rican Elbow! PRL runs to one side of the ring, then the other side...but gets cut off by a Sandman clothesline! The crowd boos, as MD positions the glass table, and TK and Reject set up and deliver THUNDEROUS REJECTION, THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE~! COLE/COACH PRL is out of it on the mat, as Reject sets up a ladder, climbs, and GRABS THE BRIEFCASE~! *DING DING DING* COACH YEAH~! I told you, Cole! COLE And Reject, thanks in large part to his Deadly Alliance stablemates, has won the Money in the Bank ladder match! BUFFER The winner of the match...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! Sandman, TK and MD celebrate on the mat, as Reject poses with the briefcase atop the ladder. COLE An outstanding match with eight men putting their careers on the line, it's just a shame it had to end the way it did, with the other DA members getting involved! Reject climbs down and high-fives the other members of the DA, then stands over PRL in the wreckage and holds the briefcase in the air. Alf struggles to his feet, and Reject measures him, then floors him with the briefcase! COLE And that was just a cheap shot right there! Reject rolls to the outside, and the rest of the DA laughs with him, as they celebrate down the aisle. COACH And I called this, Cole! I knew Reject was due! Look out, Zack Malibu, because you never know when the R-Man's coming!

We're taken to an outside shot of Tulane's campus and then return to the rabid OAOAST Marks in attendance COLE More tag team action on hand! Lets go to Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! “Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and the Orange County Cobras head to the ring minus Molly Nerdly due to her participation in the School Girl Brawl. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers. From the O.C., at a total combine weight of 460 pounds, the 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Simon and Ned acknowledge the crowd as they pose on the apron. COLE As documented on television, if the Orange County Cobras capture the gold here tonight they’d join Chicks Over Dicks as the only teams to hold the tag team championship on 4 separate occasions. But it won’t be an easy task going up against arguably the most decorated tag team in OAOAST history. “Shine” by Collective Soul blares overhead as Team Heyross pause to raise their arms, setting off red, white and blue pyro behind them. BUFFER And their opponents! Total combined weight of 485 pounds, they are the reigning and defending tag team champions of the WOOOOOORLD… CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Team Heyross pose with the titles on the turnbuckles, then hand them over to referee Mickey Jay (not Mickie James for the easily confused, if such people truly exist) who displays the gold for all to see. COLE And there you see them, ladies and gentlemen, the One & Only World tag team champions Team Heyross back after a successful overseas tour. COACH Give the people the truth, Cole. Moss and Benjamin fled the country to avoid a rematch with Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr., the LDC Moneygang. COLE They did not and you know it. Besides, they had their shot, which they only got by screwing the Orange County Cobras thanks to the help of your good friend Theodore Moneymaker I might add. In a sign of respect, and sportsmanship, but mostly R-E-S-P-E-C-T, both teams meet mid-ring and shake hands. Back in their corners, the teams remove their entrance attire and discuss last minute strategy. * DINGDINGDING * Quentin Benjamin and Simon Singleton get the nod for their respective squads and lockup. Placed in a side headlock Benjamin utilizes an overhead wristlock to escape Simon’s clutches, bridging him back. ONE! Simon lifts his shoulder off the mat, then kips up and performs a monkey flip…but Benjamin lands on his feet and charges full speed ahead. Under a leapfrog he goes and, on the rebound, counters an attempted hip toss into a monkey flip. But anything Benjamin can do Simon can do better as he too lands safely on both feet. His next move, however, a running attack, goes terribly wrong as Benjamin nabs him in a TILT-A-WHIRL… NO! SIMON COUNTERS WITH A SPINNING HEADSCISSORS TAKEOVER! COACH It’s like they’re moving at the speed of light, Cole. COLE No surprise when you consider Simon Singleton and Quentin Benjamin are two of the fastest men in the OAOAST. Simon takes Benjamin to the mat in a side headlock. Naturally Benjamin responds by scissoring the head, prompting Simon to float on top. He doesn’t stay there long though, as Benjamin bridges out and executes a side suplex! The cover. ONE! TW-- KICKOUT! Simon rolls to his corner and tags Ned. Following a brief handshake Ned and Benjamin lockup. The victim of a side headlock, Ned shoves Benjamin into the ropes and gets leveled by a shoulder tackle. Quick cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Ned reverses a whip, then he and Benjamin go back-and-forth trying to hip toss the other until Benjamin is flung over the top rope but onto the apron. Shoulder thrust doubles Ned over and Benjamin slings in off the back of the Handsome Hustler, hitting the ropes to make the tag. Benjamin slides through Ned’s legs and sweeps him off his feet as Moss scores with the clothesline! COLE Double Goozle~! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moss wears Ned down in a half-nelson (because a chinlock is boring), then switches to a head scissors. Nowhere to go trapped smack in the middle of the ring, Ned rolls onto his stomach, turning Moss over with him in the process. COACH Ned Blanchard living up to the stereotype, Mikey Cole -- he is a dumb blond! What’s he trying to do right here? Ned bridges his neck then floats backward onto Moss in a sitting position and applies a BOSTON CRAB! COLE A counter! And a spectacular one at that! COACH Alright, I admit. I was wrong. Blanchard knew what he was doing after all. Unable to pickup the submission, not that he was expecting it against competitors like Team Heyross, Ned SLINGSHOTS Moss into the corner and nails a big-time lariat! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY BENJAMIN! Ned rams Moss into the buckle and tags out, but it’s not until he and Simon hit a double back elbow that he exits. From a vertical position Simon leaps into the air and SPLASHES down on Moss, then grapevines the leg! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Simon attempts a suplex but Moss floats over and rolls him up! ONE! TWO! NO! Kicked off into the ropes Moss and Benjamin make the blind tag. As Moss shoots back, Simon leapfrogs him and gets popped by a Benjamin SUPERKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Benjamin sets Simon on the top rope for a superplex only to be shoved down, but he recovers quickly enough to RUN THE ROPES AND HIT A BRIDGING EXPLODER SUPLEX~!!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The count. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY NED! COLE Ned Blanchard just bailed out his team right there. There’s no way Simon would’ve kicked out of that in my opinion. COACH I don’t often agree with you, Cole, but I do here. We were all witnesses to Quentin Benjamin’s freakish athleticism. Moss enters and Team Heyross perform a DOUBLE HIP TOSS immediately followed by a DOUBLE WHEELBARROW SUPLEX!! Benjamin covers. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Benjamin whips Simon hard into the buckle for THE STINGER SPLASH, then a TOP ROPE BULLDOG! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Ned again makes the timely save. COACH You know what I find interesting, Cole? Not one punch has been thrown. Both teams have kept it clean. COLE It’s not something you often see in today’s world of wrestling. Benjamin places Simon in the ABDOMINAL STRETCH as SPENCER REIGER and COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. arrive ringside. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What are they doing here? COACH Getting a better look at the competition I‘d say. COLE I’d say otherwise given their statements in recent weeks and the fact Spencer Reiger is scheduled to compete NEXT in the Money in the Bank match. Their presence a distraction to all, the competitors in the ring do their best to go on about the business at hand. Unfortunately for Benjamin, he falls asleep at the wheel and Simon executes a hip toss to break out of the abdominal stretch. Benjamin, however, is able to reverse a whip and locks on THE SLEEPER HOLD…but Simon is quick to shove him off into the ropes where Ned throws a KNEE TO THE BACK, which Simon capitalizes with a DDT! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY MOSS! SIMON/NED COACH Tempters are starting to flare, Cole. COLE Neither team real thrilled with the last couple of moves. First you had the knee to the back and then a rather stiff kick to the head to breakup the fall. Simon rams Benjamin into the buckle and tags Ned, who STOMPS A MUDHOLE AND WALKS IT DRY. Ned then shoots Benjamin off and connects with a back elbow, followed by the dreaded POINTY ELBOW~! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Slammed mid-ring, Benjamin moves as Ned leaps down from the middle rope, spiking his knee into the canvas. Moss gets the tag and immediately works over the leg before attempting to lock on THE MOSSY KNOLL~!, but Ned rapidly squirms to the ropes. Brought to a vertical base, a series of European uppercuts softens him up for an Irish whip and eventually a RELEASE OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY SIMON! Moss motions Benjamin to the top and hoists Ned onto his shoulders. COLE Super Rocker Dropper perhaps? As Benjamin scales the turnbuckles he suddenly loses his balance, the result of SIMON SHAKING THE ROPES, and CROTCHES HIMSELF! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COACH It’s every team for himself now, Cole. They’re gonna anything and everything it takes to walk out with the tag belts around their waists. Ned heads to the corner and SPLASHES BENJAMIN DOWN ON MOSS! Simon receives the tag and the O.C. Cobra hit their SLINGSHOT SUPLEX/SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY COMBO! COLE We may be on the verge of new tag team champions! The count. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO!! DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY YANKS THE REFEREE OUTSIDE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley apologizes for his actions only to be scolded by the official. A shouting match ensues between him and Ned as CPA enters the ring and knocks Simon out cold with a GIGATON PUNCH! CPA places Moss on top and exits. COLE DAMN HIM! The count. NED ONE! TWO! NO!! Realizing what’s happened Moss breaks the fall, much to the dismay of V.I.C.E. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH What is he, stupid?! You take the win any way you can! COLE Not like that he won’t. COACH If Team Heyross drop the titles tonight Moss has nobody but himself to blame. Moss lifts a lifeless Simon to his feet…and gets wrapped in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Simon ducks a clothesline and takes Moss down again, this time in a CRUCIFIX! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Desperately in need of a tag, Simon tries leaping over Moss to get to his corner but is caught, spun around and DROPPED THROAT-FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE! Team Heyross tag and perform their trademark LEAPFROG/BODY GUILLOTINE maneuver! Benjamin then hooks Simon and delivers a GERMAN SUPLEX! To prevent Ned from breaking the pin Moss meets him across the ring and they tumble over the top! Not to be forgotten, the pin inside the ring. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Where did Simon Singleton find the strength to kick out of that?! Benjamin stands Simon upright and knocks him outside with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK! Off the ropes he FLIPS OVER THE TOP AND ONTO SIMON AND THE LDC MONEYGANG BELOW! COLE Somersault plancha! On the other side of the squared circle, Ned accidentally bumps into V.I.C.E. and gets beat down! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" But Moss comes to his defense and the men previously doing battle now fight together. Meanwhile, an irate LDC Moneygang get into it with Benjamin and ATTACK him, prompting Simon to rush to his aid. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH It’s turned into a pier-six brawl, Cole. All hell is breaking loose. Too chaotic to continue in his judgment, the referee calls for the bell as OAOAST officials swarm the area to breakup the fight which has turned into the O.C. Cobras against the LDC Moneygang and V.I.C.E. versus Team Heyross. * DINGDINGDING * Once some semblance of order is restored we get the official decision following a brief conversation between referee Mickey Jay and ring announcer Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. I have just been informed that due to outside interference this bout has been ruled a NO CONTEST! Still your One & Only World tag team champions… TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! “Shine” by Collective Soul cues and the guys shake hands with the Orange County Cobras to a round of applause. COLE Though the LDC Moneygang and V.I.C.E. ruined it for us all, we still were treated to a terrific tag team title bout. I can only hope those two teams meet again in the near future. COACH Maybe in a #1 contenders match because Spencer Reiger and CMJ, the LDC Moneygang, are gonna be our next tag team champions. COLE Right now…

“Makes Me Wonder” hits to a very negative reaction, and D*LUX themselves are made to wonder why the audience is so hostile. Forgoing any practice of riling the audience up, the boys from Michigan merely toss their jackets aside and head to the ring. BUFFER And introducing the opponents. First, from the great state of Michigan... the team of "TREMENDOUS" TYLER and "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!! COACH Fool, fools, fools! No one asks for a match with Chicks Over Dicks, no one! During their last title reign they had an open policy of giving shots to anyone and Mister Moneymaker still had to pay people to fight them. When you gotta pay niggas to get a free title shot, you know something is going on. COLE Well, when you think of great OAOAST tag teams you think if Black T, The Orange County Cobras, The Heavenly Rockers, and Chicks Over Dicks, and D*LUX just wants to be mentioned in that same group and that’s why they challenged their once good friends Chicks Over Dicks. The problem is unlike those other teams, the girls attack you more mentally then physically, they play games and they play tricks and most people can't handle that. The twosome enters the ring and decides to just talk strategy with each other rather than incite further crowd fury. COLE You think they’re nervous.? COACH They’re gonna be pretty soon. Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! Fireworks, baby, motherfuckin fire works explode all across the school house setting! Into this sparkling array steps Krista Isadora Duncan with Alix Maria Spezia at her side. Alix gives a little wave to the fans, before Krista twirls her into her arms as if this were dancing with the stars. Alix tosses her head backwards and throws a kiss to the camera causing super imposed red lips to appear on the screen, BUFFER And their oppoents! First, from Los Angeles, California, she is a two time 24/7 champion, a multi time Angle Award winner….ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a Hollywood Walk of Famer, the 2009 Wrestler of the year, best selling author, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is the OAOAST’s Miss Money In The Bank, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! Together they are four time world tag team champions, Hollywood “It” Girls, America's Sweethearts... CCHHHIIIICCKKSSS OOOOVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSS!!! Hollywood’s hottest, strolls down the ramp in entirely different fashions. Krista wears her SERIOUS WRESTLING attire of purple and gold bell bottoms and a purple tanktop of course housing The Lakers logo. Alix on the other hand looks like she’s set for a day at the small in a pink and white horizontal striped polo and heavily destroyed jeans. COLE The Lakers were pushed to their limit by The Nuggets can D*LUX do the same and stage an upset? Forgoing her usual crowd thrilling leg hanging trick, Krista just slides into the ring with a fierce glare coming from her blue eyes. Alix hops up the stairs with a bag of potato chips in hand and digs through them as Krista and Tyler begin the match. DING DING DING “Welcome all, to the Introduction to Sonning class. I am your instructor Krista Isadora Duncan and my special assistant is Alix Maria Spezia. Today we’re going to give novices the tools they need to begin a rewarding life of sonning fools, idiots, and republicans. Let’s begin.” “Object A,” Krista points to Tyler “is the sonee. He may also be referred to as dope, moron, jackass, and Bill O’Reily, The sonee is characterized by his caveman like features, and small cranium indicating a small brain. The soneee isn’t very smart having given up on education after being stumped on who stole Christmas in the book ”The Grinch Steals Christmas” Now if you all will watch a standard and true sonning technique.” Krista extends her hand to Tyler, and god almighty Tyler goes to accept the handshake , but Krista pulls her hand away. “Here’s where we have some choices in what I like to call, the “follow through sonning”” We can smack the sonnee in the back of the head THWAAAAAAAp “Or we can taunt with an irish jig, or perhaps a multiplication problem such as 5 times 6 to perhaps overload their tiny brain” Krista shows some small bit of mercy by ending her lesson and taking on Tyler with a lockup. The two (former) friends jostle back and forth, with Krista not even putting half her effort into the hold. Her lazy attitude does her no harm however, as Miss Money In The Bank succeeds in hurling him into a neutral corner. As Tyler takes a hard collision with the posts Krista begins stamping and stomping her feet like a raging bull. She charges full speed ahead only for her heels to u-turn and bring her towards Shayne. Caught completely by surprise, “Showtime” is knocked clear off the apron by her punch! “There’s a time and place for a sudden sonning, the time is always and I’ll let you figure out the place. Stay thirsty, my friends.” COACH They begged all month for this match, shouldn’t they have watched some tape on COD? Don’ they worship the ground they walk on? Alix and Krista may be the most unpredictable duo but if any one should be able to predict them its D*LUX. Having gotten to the top rope, Tyler throws himself towards Krista with an axe handle. But, Miss California simply slides backwards to avoid it. Bryant comes down awkwardly on his teetering boots. This leads Krista to place her index finger on his forehead and happily push him over! She then summons the audacity to actually pin Bryant off the mere shove. ONE! Unsurprisingly, Bryant kicks out. Perhaps surprisingly Krista actually looks annoyed over missing the three count. Stomping away in temperamental huff she applies the tag to Alix. “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Immediately upon entering the ring, Alix bunny hops towards Bryant as he begins to rise off the canvas. Alix greets him with a cute little wave and then throws him into the cables. The peculiar thing is that Alix runs right along beside him. He hits the ropes again and Alix faithfully keeps pace. Another go round on the ropes and The Hollywood Bad Girl is still at Bryant’s side. COLE What is she doing? COACH I don’t think even she knows. Alix isn’t quite as clueless as the announcers think. Well at least in this instance she’s not as clueless. Pulling herself a few steps ahead of Tyler she’s able to reach the ropes before him. She grabs onto the ropes and slides her leg backwards just enough for Bryant to trip over her furry boots As he falls forward Alix releases her grip on the ropes to send them bouncing up where they catch Bryant right in the nose. He clumsily falls to the mat, reaching for a nose he’s sure is broken. Alix couldn’t possibly care less about Bryant’s suffering and proceeds to show off her “Talent” for rapping “Ah, once again my friend Not a trend for then They said, rap was crap But never had this band Till the ruler came With a cooler name Made ya dance and prance and draw the fans insane Name is Run my son Number one for fun Not a gun that's done and get done by none The others act, in fact, is just wack I kill” Alix then proceeds to run in place on top of Bryant’s slender torso. ALIX WHO’S HOUSE? CROWD RUN’S HOUSE! ALIX WHO’S HOUSE? CROWD RUN’S HOUSE! ALIX WHO’S HOUSE? CROWD RUN’S HOUSE! Things get all the more worse for Tyler when Alix proceeds to do the following on his chest…. COACH Wow! They usually wait until your senior year to teach you tap dancing sonning.! I need to start taking notes. After concluding this edition of Soultrain, Alix brings Tyler to his feet. He looks nauseous and the expression on his face is one of sickening exhaustion. Thus Alix does the only thing she can; she knees him in the stomach with vicious strikes. Near enough to grab the ropes, Bryant holds and prays that referee Clem Buzzlefoxer will see his move to salvation. Fortunately for him the old man sees his grip on the ropes and orders Alix to leave him be. “YOU WILL NOT CONTROL THE MIGHTY ALIX OF THE GREAT MAYAN EMPIRE, INFIDEL!” And no shall he even try, as Alix goes back to terrorizing Bryant’s midsection with her violent knees. Eventually she grows tired of tearing his intestines apart and releases him. He’s only given a moment for a temporary breather as Alix is soon tossing him into a neutral corner with an Irish whip. One might expect Alix to follow through with a corner splash or perhaps a lariat. But Alix remains motionless besides tapping her foot and whistling to herself. “Aren’t you gonna attack me?” “Nah, not really in the mood.” Skeptical of Alix’s answers but confident in his own defenses, Tyler creeps inch by inch towards Alix. That’s when he’s leveled by a surprise and hellishly painful superkick from Krista. “Sorry, I guess the mood just struck me.” She mutters to her fallen admirer. Alix scoops the dazed and weary Bryant off the canvas . Treating him like a dish rag she merely throws him into his corner so he can make a tag with his partner. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Entering the ring, Shayne bounces back and forth on his sneakers, pumping himself up for the task at hand. Thoroughly psyched up and ready for a fight, Brave nears Alix who’s merely relaxing on the ropes. The moment he reaches her she swats him away as though he were nothing more than fruit fly. Deeply angered he tries the same tactic only to find the same embarrassing result. COLE I don’t remember COD treating even the Wrecking Crew this bad. Shayne persists in attracting Alix’s attention. This wears Alix’s normally high level of patience down to non existence and Shayne receives this for his efforts…. ALIX TO SHAYNE COLE Shayne and Tyler yet to get any sort of rhythm, in fact I don’t think they’ve had one offensive attack all match, have they? COACH Ain’t nobodies fault but their own. These cats were the only team on Chicks Over Dicks goodside and they ruined it all for some stupidity. Shayne dusts himself off after recovering from his humiliating spill through the ropes. Though his spine may be a little worse for the wear, his fighting spirit remains strong. It spurs him forward and he leaps onto the apron ready to challenge Alix in earnest. Problem is Alix just kicks him off the ring apron. Shayne climbs again and gets kicked off again. The sequence continues to play, embarrassing Shayne beyond what’s humanly possible. “This is fun, we should fight you dudes some more!” Alix joyfully exclaims “Hey, guys check this one out, I learned it from Enter The Dragon.” “WAAAAAAAHHHHHHCHOOOOOOOEY!” the lethal war cry brings out an equally lethal chop to Shayne’s neck and the youngster capsizes to the ground and promptly begins foaming at the mouth. “Ahhhhh rabies!” Alix cries, and proceeds to solve the “rabies” problem by stomping on Shayne’s face “Kill it! Kill it! Kill iiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt!” COACH Here’s the messed up part, these dudes actually signed up for this shit! These crackas getting the white beat off em! Them cats is gonna be lookin like Tyrone from up the street. Alix cuts her veterinary duties to a halt and brings the rabies infected Brave to her feet. Her elbows crash into his skull and leave him tottering on his feet. Alix takes advantage of this situation by leaping into the air and catching him with a back kick. The powerful strike delivers incredible pain, but it also pushes Brave close to his corner where a blind tag is made with Bryant. The Tremendous one enters the ring by catching Alix by surprise with a cross body block. Alix cries out, “He’s touching my boob!” which calls Clem into action to kick Tyler off his opponent. Smarting from the old man’s painful shots, Tyler slowly steps to his feet. But he’s caught with a standing dropkick by Alix. The attack stumbles him into the ropes nearest Krista. Its an unwelcome position as Krista grabs onto his arms and treat him like a puppet by forcing him to “jazz hands” As annoying as that is, its infinitely preferable to the running knee Alix slams into his jaw. After he takes a graceless tumble to the canvas, Alix pins him… ONE! TWO! But Tyler manages to kickout past that violent move and rolls towards his corner to tag in Shayne. This leads Alix to decide she’s sick of working for her paycheck and she tags in Krista so that she may be free to rummage through her big of chips to find ones shaped like Eric Estrada. “YEAAAAAAA!” the fans respond to Krista who drops Shayne with a high flipping lariat. Showing more brawling skills than ever before, Krista simply steps forward and kicks Shayne in the ribs as hard as her ten thousand dollar legs can. “Hey, everybody you might wanna go out and hit the merchandise stands and get one of those adorable Melody Nerdly joystick covers because I’m just gonna keep kicking him in the ribs for a while.” KICK! KICK! KICK! KICK! Alix saves Shayne’s nearly broken bones with an exclamation, “I found it!” “Found what?” Krista wonders. “A chip that looks like Erik Estrada, who was on C..H.I.P..S what a coinky dink!” While Alix performs the very important task of fishing out chips that look like the stars of the 80's, Krista drags Shayne off the canvas. Her arms hook onto his head and she stands at his side for the setup of the Blond’s Never Pay A Cover. She then has a change of heart and says to Shayne “I’m sorry I’ve been so mean to you, I’m just gonna let you go and hope we can be friends again.” “Really?” “Yes, really.” Krista jumps forward, cranking and snapping his neck in the most violent way possible with her signature attack. “You oughta see what I did to my best friend at my 8th birthday party, I don’t think they ever did find her eye.” “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” COACH Here’s the worst part of all for D*LUX the more they get sonned the happier the crowd is! These bitch made clowns is hittin All American Boys status! Krista applies the tag with Alix, who’s made it through her bag of Lays. She rushes to a rising Shayne, and strikes him in the face with another knee. This one does not topple over and instead he’s left standing to be slashed with flesh searing knife chops. The blows push him back towards the turnbuckles nearest Tyler. Though Shayne continues to be under an extreme amount of pain, help is on the way as Tyler sneaks into the ring. He gets his shoulders between Alix’s and raises her into the air. “I’m getting taller! Help! Help!” Alix cries out, not noticing that Brave has slowly worked his way to the top rope. He lets out a heavy sigh before lunging himself forward with a lariat. But Alix easily avoids the telegraphed attack by rolling forward and capturing her foe into a victory roll…. ONE! TWO! Brave breaks up the pinfall with an axe handle smash to Alix’s back. “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss, while Shayne tries to explain his actions. The OAOAST Marks don’t buy into the apologies and continue to jeer as Tyler brings Alix to her feet. He reaches around her waist as h slides behind her body. He then lifts her skinny frame into the air with a German Suplex. But to the fans’ delight the brunette babe lands on her tennis shoes. She lets out an Indian like war cry before charging forward to attack Bryant. But mister Tremendous is ready for her arrival and shoot s to the side to grab onto jeans and roll her down for a pinfall…. ONE! Alix makes an easy kickout. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Bryant stands up and claps his hands, trying to get the crowd to show his squad some love. But there’s no goodwill to be had, as he receives a chilly response from Tulane. Looking hurt by the disdain, Tyler pulls Alix up by her polo shirt. He attempts to send her towards the ropes with an Irish whip, but the lovely Latina reverses the hold and sends him into the cables. After they bounce him back Alix leaps up and wraps her jean clad legs around him for a hurricanrana. But as they pull him down, Bryant rolls through into a pinning situation of his own! ONE! TWO! Alix manages to roll herself out the countered pin. She makes a quick return to her feet where she stabs Bryant’s stomach with her tennis shoe. Several more strikes follow and double the teeny bopper over. This allows Ali to snatch his head into a front facelock. From there she attempts to simply DDT him, but the Detroiter counters that by shoving her into the ropes. The cables spew her back and Bryant shoots behind her to wrap his arms around her neck in a sleeper hold. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the OAOAST Marks chant to rally the bubbly fan favorite. Their song seems to pay dividends as Ally counters with a stunner. Rather then spill over onto the canvas, Tyler stumbles around as he clutches his sore jaw. Alix quickly runs to the corner, and walks herself atop the third turnbuckle. She flashes the audience a peace sign and prepares her dismount. But her plan goes awry when Shayne shoves her off the turnbuckle! She tumbles downward, landing face first upon the rock hard canvas. “BOOOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses as Tyler crawls onto Alix for a pinning situation. ONE! TWO! The fans are overjoyed to see Alix kick out. However, Tyler looks exhausted and frustrated and for that reason decides to apply the tag to Shayne. Not overly welcomed, by the audience Shayne as to try and shun the fierce crowd noise. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” COLE The crowd the proverbial sixth man, in this case 3rd woman for Chicks Over Dicks. And D*LUX can’t quite get used to being the villains. Alix comes back to her feet and meets Shayne with a flurry of knife edge chops. Though the blows do strong damage, Brave is able to beat her back with a standing dropkick. As Miss Spezia stumbles back and forth, the former six man champion leaps onto the ropes and springboards back with a dropkick to knock Alix over. Giving her little time to recover, Brave latches onto her jeans and falls backwards to slingshot her into the corner. She collides with the ring posts and remains paralyzed by her pain. As such she can’t prevent Brave from making the tag with Tyler. The Tremendous one scampers onto the turnbuckle, where his arms fall around Alix’s head. In one swift motion he brings her down with a lethal tornado DDT! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Continuing to look offended over the crowd’s reaction, Tyler is distracted as he raises Alix upright. Because of this distraction Alix is able to beat Bryant away with furious elbows. However, Tremendous Tyler recovers to blast her with a step up enziguri! The audience douses him with hatred for his attack and again disrupts his offensive flow. COACH This lame about to cry! This lame about to cry over these bum ass OAOAST Marks. Disgustin! COLE Like I said before D*LUX isn’t used to being on the wrong side of the crowd’s voice. Grabbing hold of Alix’s polo shirt, Tyler pulls her off the canvas. His arms go beneath her’s into a double underhook. After a brief struggle from Alix, Bryant is able to fling her backwards and drive her body into the canvas. She lies there limp and breathless, and Bryant sees it as a perfect opportunity for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix throws her shoulder off the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans are thrilled, but Bryant is noticeably less so. Dejected over his failings, he slinks back to his corner and applies the tag with Showtime Shayne. Immediately after the tag, Brave rises to the top rope. He then leaps forward with a cross body block! But Alix gathers the strength to counter, and leaps to strike his chest with a dropkick. Shayne tumbles over onto the canvas with a vicious crash landing! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the fans sing, knowing that their heroine desperately needs a tag with Krista. Alix is all too aware of this fact and begins devastatingly painful trek to her corner. COLE Its imperative for D*LUX not to let Alix make that tag with Krista. If she does its all over for D*LUX! The slow crawl of Alix is hindered by Brave who latches onto her tennis shoes. Despite the grip, Alix fights forward, inch by inch. Shayne does his best to keep her from reaching Krista’s outstretched arm. He uses his hold on her ankle to bring her upright, where he hopes to mow her down with a lariat. But, he’s a step too slow for the Hollywood Bad Girl as she rocks his world with an enziguri! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the audience cheers. Their celebration grows even louder when Alix makes the tag with Krista! COLE The sonning begins anew! Shayne is understandably cautious over approaching Krista. However, the fitness queen tries her best to calm his nerves. “Wait, honey, I’m not here to hurt you. I just want to tell you that I admire you. You’ve taken a minimal amount of wrestling talent, an assuredly microscopic brain, a gimmick ripped off from an 8 year old tag team, and you have turned it into….something that makes me want to punch you in face.” POW! Although he cowers in fear, Shayne has enough courage to fire back and slap Krissy across the cheek! KRISTA Deciding that discretion is the better part of valor, Shayne attempts to make a hasty retreat. A nice girl to the very end, Krista speeds up his escape by dropkicking him through the ropes. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream, taking joy in Shayne’s painful misfortune Bryant quickly charges her, hoping to take the California girl by surprise. His plan is an utter failure, as Krista readies herself for his arrival by leaping onto the ring ropes. Once he reaches her, she flips backwards to cut him down with a corckscrew moonsault. Having just risen from his fall, Brave sees this and hurries into the ring to aid his partner. But upon entering the ring he’s only met with brutal stomps from Alix’s tennis shoes. “Squashy squashy squashy I like to squash! Squashy squashy squashy I like to squash!” Alix sings to herself as she makes mincemeat out of Braves flesh. He’s given a minor reprieve as Krista tells Alix to cease her stomping. Unfortunately for Brave, Krista only stopped Alix due to a sinister thought in her head. Combining their strength into one whole unit devoted to lifting Shayne, they raise him onto the highest turnbuckle. COLE The girls are cooking something, but what can it be? It can be something humiliating! Krista rids Shayne of his pants, and against his protest uses them to tie his hands behind his back. “Alix, I do believe this calls for song. Shayne, sing along if you know the words.” ALIX I'm doin' this tonight, You're probably gonna start a fight. I know this can't be right. Hey baby come on, I loved you endlessly, When you weren't there for me. So now it's time to leave and make it alone I know that I can't take no more It ain't no lie I wanna see you out that door Baby, bye, bye, bye... KRISTA Bye Bye Don't wanna be a fool for you Just another player in your game for two. You may hate me but it ain't no lie, Baby, bye, bye, bye... Bye Bye Don't really wanna make it tough, I just wanna tell you that I had enough. It might sound crazy, But it ain't no lie, Baby, bye, bye, bye ALIX Shayne! SHAYNE ….. ALIX I SAID SING YOU MISERABLE MONKEY BASTARD! SING TILL YOUR VOCAL CHORDS BLEED! SHAYNE (nervously) Just hit me with the truth, Now, girl you're more than welcome to. So give me one good reason, Baby come on I live for you and me, And now I really come to see, That life would be much better once you're gone. KRISTA I know that I can't take no more It ain't no lie, I wanna see you out that door Baby, bye, bye, bye... Bye Bye Don't wanna be a fool for you Just another player in your game for two You may hate me but it ain't no lie, Baby Bye, bye, bye... Bye Bye Don't really wanna make it tough, I just wanna tell you that I had enough (oohooh) It might sound crazy, But it ain't no lie, Baby, bye, bye, bye! On that bye-bye-bye the female versions of N Synv leap onto the ropes ropes. The 4 time tag team champions springboard off and connect with Shayne’s chest with powerful dropkicks. The boybander sails off the turnbuckles, placed on a collision course with the outside mats. With his hands trapped behind him, he’s unable to properly brace his fall and suffers a gruesome crash into the floor. COACH Bye-bye-bye Shayne Brave! All too aware of the poor odds he faces, Bryant makes a slow and unsteady rise to his feet. Krista comments through a disdainful smirk “So, Tremendous Tyler, do you have any tremendous last words, before we tremendously send you down to the not-so tremendous lower midcard, where you’ll be working tremendous non televised matches with rookies and has beens out the pool hall?” “Well,” Tyler starts “I want to say- “TOO LONG, DIDN’T READ!” Alix shrieks. While Tyler tries to cover his aching ears from Alix’s shout . Krista is leaping towards him. Her knees curl into her chest as her hands come around Tyler’s skull. A mere second later he’s being brought down by the powerful KIDology. Yet he doesn’t timber over from the crowd popping hold, instead remaining dizzy and upright. Alix takes on the task of finishing him off, and jumps at his arm. She then brings the limb down across her knees with The Confession of a Kristaholic! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience shouts, as Krista makes the crucial pinfall on Tyler. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! Girlfriend blasts back into the arena, meeting in loud dance with the cheers of the crowd. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall….CHICKS OVER DICKS! A true D*LUX fan, Lebron can’t handle the pain Highlights of the ULTIMATE SONNING are played on the Angletron. COLE D*LUX dream match turned into a humliating nightmare, and one can only assume they've fallen even farther from title contention.

Backstage in the main interview area. MAGGIE NERDLY Stands with SPENCER REIGER (lol we have the youngest looking roster of wrestlers in history) MAGGIE What's up ya'll, Maggie Nerdly, It Girl on the scene standing with the It Boy of the OAOAST, The Enterprise's Spencer Reiger. Spencer what worries do you have heading into this Money In The Bank. SPENCER Uh.....none. None whatsoever, we used to have these stupid ladder matches all the time in OAOVW, and everyone thought I just didn't have the mental toughness, whatever that means, to win. Everytime out I would prove them wrong again and again to the point where betting against me was just like flushing your cash down the toilet. MAGGIE Ya got some tough competition in there with PRL... SPENCER Ooooooooh bringing up the boyfriend. MAGGIE Don't forget Alfdogg and Bohemoth. SPENCER Trust me I already have. Alfdogg's a has been on his last leg, and Bohemoth is a supreme choke artist. I can see him reaching the top of the ladder only to tear his quadriceps and plummet back down to earth! He's a bumbling oaf. The other guys aren't even worth mentioning so I won't bother with that. What I will tell you is this, after I win the grand prize I promise to redeem my shot at the upcoming show in Tokyo, Japan. The Japanese love me! That's what The Enterprise market research says. On that final note SR walks off, chuckling to himself. COLE What an ego! Elsewhere we see Reject prepping MMA style for the ladder match with ThunderKid and Mister Dick. COLE And Reject ready to go. I wonder what Alfdogg has in store for him tonight.

Another Body Murdered fires its aggression into the arena. From parted entrance doors, steps Holly, dressed to (literally) kill with black and red school girl skirt, raggedy black collared shirt and belt stretched all acrosse her waist. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a school girl brawl! Making her way to the playground she comes from Las Vegas, she is former women’s champion, Holly! Holly makes her way down to the playground, seeing innocent children’s toys as weapons of pure brutality. She smiles to herself, thinking about the injuries she could cause. COLE Holly elected to this time by Lorelei, and I have to say Holly is as good a choice as any other. She knows how to get down and dirty and just brawl, while Lorelei is more power based, and Morgan is tiny but also very resistant and has a high pain tolerance. GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Charges of electricity scream down on an entrance stage that’s carpeted by dark blue lights. On the numerous video screens throughout the venue images of flashes of electrical bolts find their way onto screen. After the final violent bolt of electricity touches down on stage the entrances door rip apart to showcase Morgan Nerdly and Lorelei DeCenzo. The good friends have fashionably matched their school girl outfits, with each wearing short blue and white numbers. BUFFER And her partners, first from Los Angeles, California she is The Money Honey, Lorelei DeCenzo! And her partner, hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is the OAOAST’s women’s champion….MORGAAAAAN NERRRRRDLLYYYYYY! Lorelei receives a blast of the crowd’s hatred, whereas Morgan earns some cheers mostly from the angsty teenage crowd due to Morgan being an angsty teenager herself. Together they journey down to the playground, where Lorelei kisses Holly in classic French greeting. Morgan for her part, simply swings on the swingset. Janis Joplin’s Move Over brings cheers from sold out Tulane audience. There’s no moment to acknowledge the crowd though as Molly, Sophie and Josie, all dressed in red and green outfits, march to playground. BUFFER And the opponents. Introducing first from New York City, she is HeldDOWN’s general manager….JOSIE BAKER! FROM MARSEILLE FRANCE, SHE IS SOPHIE GREY! AND LASTLY REPRESENTING NEW YORK UNIVERSITY, SHE IS THE DRAMA QUEEN MOLLY NERDLY! COLE The funny thing about this school girl brawl is that there are two actually school girls! Molly is a grad student at NYU, who will soon work on her PhD, and Morgan takes classes in forensic psychology at University of Edmonton. BELL BELL BELL Wasting no time in kicking off this brawl, Morgan lunges directly at Josie and spears her into the sand box. Rage rises onto her face as she cruelly rubs the GM into the coarse grain. Sophie sees her relative in anguish and pain and attempts to rush towards her aid. Unfortunately, Lorelei steps in her way and swats her back with a fierce lariat. Elsewhere, Molly and Holly have begun their battle of the olly suffix with angry punches. Holly’s power allows her to gain the upperhand, and with it she’s able to drag Molly to the swingset. Grouchy as always, she pushes referee Earl Hebner aside and lays claim to the chained swing set. She’s uses those chains as a weapon to choke Molly. The film student gags and wheezes, put into a horrible amount of pain from the bonds. COLE Just a vile tactic by Holly! COACH Hey, Lorelei said she knew how to brawl. Avoiding certain suffocation, Josie manages to pull her head out of Morgan’s sand trap. This, unfortunately, doesn’t hinder the pain as Morgan takes a toy truck into her head! Josie wobbles over, knocked dizzy by Morgan’s brutal attack . The P.I. smiles ever so slightly at the damage she’s done. But that smile is short lasting, thanks to the sight of Sophie swinging chops at Lorelei. Morgan is deeply enraged in seeing her best friend hurt and rushes to think of a remedy. Her only option is to quickly get to the top of the monkey bars so she can splash Sophie. COACH Yo what’s this chick up to now? It ain’t safe up there. An arrival of the suddenly recovered Josie, doesn’t make things any safer. Morgan regards her like a lion to a zebra. The white clad predator snarls at Josie as she stomps on the GM’s hand as she tries to climb up. COACH If the camera man could just get beneath the monkey bars I think we might be able to see up Morgan’s skirt. Go to fit! Near a collection of large oversized tires, Molly wages war with Holly. Together they stand atop one of the tires, trading punches. Molly scores with a body blow to her exposed stomach. This weakens Holly, and lets Molly take a second to catch her breath. A second is all she needs, as she get’s back to work with a front facelock around Holly. She then falls backwards DDTing Holly into hard rubber! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Things aren’t going quite as swimmingly for Josie, who having reached the top, finds herself face to face with a girl who wants her blood. The teenage Nerdly swings wild right hands. Ducking these shots ruins Josie’s already weak balance. But, Morgan aids her by keeping her on foot. This is not due to kindness, its done only for Morgan to more easily take her into a head scissors. COLE She wouln’t! She can’t! Morgan stabilizes herself even as she lifts Josie onto her shoulders. The crowd comes to its feet, excepting to see a dreadful attack take place. Their predictions are wholly accurate; Morgan releases Josie and powerbombs Josie into the sand pit! The General Manager lands with a brutal thud, her body sending particles of sand floating into the air. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” COACH That had to feel GOOD! Yo, Mikey, Morgan is straight up crazy and she straight up gangsta. Still waiting for that upskirt shot, though. Camera dudes be slackin! Continuing to give the audience something to marvel over, the tiniest Nerdly girl flies from the bars with her body outstretched. Her path brings her directly to Sophie and she brings down French Girl with a beautiful cross body block! COLE She may be tiny, but don’t underestimate the kind of punch Morgan brings. Free of Sophie for the moment, Lorelei realizes Josie’s situation makes her an easy pinfall. As such she rushes to the sandbox to pin the GM. In her most snobbish and uptight tone, she calls for Hebner to make the pinfall… ONE! TWO! But Molly breaks the pin up with a shove to Lori’s back. Annoyed and somewhat hurt by Molly’s attack Lorelei spins around to spear her to the outside of the sandbox. The two lovely schoolgirls role around and slap at each other, drawing hoots and hollers because finally the camera man gets the upskirt shot. After fulfilling everyman’s fantasy, Molly springs to her feet and brings Lorelei up along with her. Next she bodyslams Lorelei onto the sea-saw! While Lorelei groans in pain on the splintered wood, Molly goes to the other end of the toy. This of course props Lorelei up, and gives Molly the space and time she needs to launch a running dropkick to Lori’s face. Together they fall back to the gravel, but its Lori who feels the awful pain. Molly then attempts to end the match with a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! But, Holly returns to break the pinfall with an axe handle. She then grabs hold of Molly’s bangs and roughly pulls her to her feet.. Although dazed, Lorelei follows suit and her evil mind is soon concocting vicious way s to brutalize. Molly. It doesn’t take Lori very long to scheme up a plan. Together she and Holly set Miss Molly up for a vertical suplex. After exchanging evil grins they raise Molly into the air. However, Molly stages a recovery and finds the ability to double DDT them into the gravel! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” But nearby Morgan has gathered a soccer ball. MORGAN TO MOLLY COLE A red card for Morgan! Seeking to carry the good fight for her currently incapacitated friends, Sophie comes behind and pushes Morgan into a bright yellow crawl tube. Quickly recovered from the sudden attack, Morgan begins pounding her white sneakers into Sophie’s face! This does enough damage to back Sophie away, permitting Morgan to escape the tube. With rage filling her tiny body, Morgan pounces on Sophie, gathering her into her arms and finding the way to rush towards the Jungle Gym! Upon reaching the gym , Morgan slams Sophie onto the first level. She doesn’t waist her time in inflicting more damage as she fires down her tightly clinched fist against Sophie’s face! COACH Dang, this chick Morgan is like Wolverine, I wouldn’t be surprised to see metal claws coming out her knuckles, and she bones to be coated in adamantium. COLE Morgan may only be 5’1 but that hasn’t stopped her so far in the OAOAST. Sophie has some success in battling back the energetic Morgan. Momentarily free of her assault, Sophie scrambles to a higher level in the jungle gym. Morgan gives chase with a rabid fury, forcing Sophie to go even higher. MORGAN You can’t escape me! Once again, Morgan follows as she refuses to let her lust for blood go unfilled. Atop the jungle gym, the two trade wild punches with Morgan gaining an easy upperhand. A powerful uppercut cuts through Sophie and throws her to the ground. Morgan kicks away at her and succeeds in pushing her over the ledge of the jungle gym. Only Sophie’s tight grip on the wooden boards keep her from plummeting to the gravel bellow. Continuing her furious assault Morgan tries to stomp at Sophie’s hand. But the French Girl keeps sliding her hands away as her grip begins to get looser and looser. COLE Sophie in serious danger here, Coach! COACH She made the mistake of running up and not down. Hasn’t she seen horror flicks before you don’t ever run upstairs! There ain’t no door to the outside upstairs! You dead, bitch! Josie attacking Morgan impedes Sophie’s drop to certain doom! She fires off heavy right hands that bounce off Morgan’s head. But Morgan won’t let herself by bested by Josie. Screaming in rage she unleashes a left high kick that topples Josie to the wooden flooring. “Down you go!” Morgan shouts with a burning anger. With her foot acting as bulldozer she shoves Josie straight down the yellow tube slide. COLE Morgan has just had her way against Josie all match. And it has to feel good. COACH Josie opened her big mouth to insult Morgan and she’s paid the price twice! Having used the lopsided battle between Morgan and Sophie to pull herself back to the floor, Sophie eyes down Morgan with a predator’s gaze. She lunges forward and spears Morgan. The force of the attack carries them into the tube slide, where they twist and twirl a dizzying path to the ground. The tube spits them both out, with Sophie still on top of Morgan. This is a perilous position thanks to a chair wielding Holly standing above them. Sophie is shocked and left pained by hard smashing of the chair against her back. COLE Where in the hell did Holly get a chair? Delighting over her dangerous weapon Holly turns around to find Molly a perfect target for her next attack. She raises the chair high above her head, and promises Molly a quick and painful end. But, she’s hindered greatly as MARV and MEL snatch the chair out of her hands! “YEAAAAAAAAA” COACH They have no right to be out there! They’re letting their feud with The Rockers spill over to violate this match! That ain’t right! Holly gruffly demands her chair back from the meddling skaters. Always nice guys, MARV and MEL chuck the steel chair back into Holly’s hands. This, however, becomes something of a problem when Molly tightens her into a set up for a front Russian leg sweep. She swings herself downward, causing Holly to land with her face pressed against the chair! “SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! The fans chant as the twins throw up the RAWK hand signal. Meanwhile Molly attempts a pin on Holly. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO CROWD THREE! “YEAAAAAAAA” The Rockers are shown in their tourbus, and the mood is miserable. Logan smashes things against the walls of the bus, while Abdullah and Synth pray that Allah will strike the CAE down. BUFFER Your winners as a result of pinfall, JOSIE BAKER, AND FRENCH NEW WAVE! “YEAAAAAAA!” MARV helps his victorious sister to her feet, where she celebrates with Sophie. MEL goes over to help his other little sister, Morgan, out. Morgan seems genuinely shocked that he would help here. But any chance to feel good about it is doused when Lorelei shoves him aside, and says he has no business “helping” Morgan.

TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOsh_TuVJvY is our opening theme song. I'm nice right now, man I-I feel good If you have a drink Would you please put it in the air? Zack Malibu parties at a frat house with a drink in his hand and lovely co-eds dancing around him. That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again Man, I love college Leon Rodez finds himself waking up in a dorm room that's clearly not his, and the fattest heffer he's ever seen I wanna go to college for the rest of my life Sip Banker's Club and drink Miller Lite On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice And I can get pizza a dollar a slice Spencer Reiger and CMJ sit at a bar in a drinking competition with several frineds. So fill up my cup, let's get fucked up I'm next on the table, who want what? I am champion at beer pong Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon At another frat party Reject challenges PRL to a game of foosball Don't even bounce, not in my house Better hope you make it otherwise you naked Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted Woke up today and all I could say is Inside a physics class lecture hall, Krista lies face first on her desk in pure slumber. Oddly enough Alix pays perfect attention as she jots down notes of the lecture. Um, that party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, and CPA cruise along campus in a convertible singing the song at the top of their lungs I can't tell you what I learned from school but I could tell you a story or two, um Yeah, of course I learned some rules Like don't pass out with your shoes on (Get the Sharpie!) The mischievous Melody Nerdly writes all sorts of scribble scrabble on the passed out head of Jade Rodez-Duncan. And don't leave the house 'til the booze gone (No, we're not leaving) And don't have sex if she's too gone When it comes to condoms put two on (Trust me) Then tomorrow night find a new jawn ThunderKid is seen dancing at a house party with two hot sorority sisters. Hold the beer bong, nothing wrong with some fun (Here, hold this) Even if we did get a little bit too drunk Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted Woke up today and all I could say is That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it (I wish we taped) I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again Simon and Ned have both passed out on their dorm room floor, surrounded by Miller Lite bottles. Man, I love college, ay! I love drinking, ay! I love women, ay! I love college The OAOAST Superstars (well at the least the ones smart enough to attend college stand at frat house party with Zack the MC Now if everybody would please Put their drink as high as they can As high as they can (As high as they can) And repeat after me OAOAST SUPERSTARS Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Freshmen! Freshmen! Freshmen! Freshmen! OAOAST SUPERSTARS Do something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy! Do something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy! Keg stand! Keg stand! Keg stand! Keg stand! That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it (I wish we taped) (You know it's going down) I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need (You're all invited, bring your friends) Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again Man, I love college Do I really have to graduate? Or can I just stay here for the rest of my life? COLE Folks welcome to Tulane University! I am Michael Cole joined with Johnathan Coachman to witness the blockbuster pay per view, School's Out! COACH Big matches on tonight's card with Zack Malibu looking for revenge and a successful title defense against Leon Rodez COLE It'll be interesting to see how Leon's new attitude is going to affect his performance and wrestling style, Zack may be facing a rather unpredictable foe! COACH What about the money in the bank ladder match! Some of the biggest names in the OAOAST are in that thing. Well, besides Denzel Spencer, homeboy is like Sidney Ponson in a pitching rotation that's got Nolan Ryan, Bob Gibson, and Roger Clemens. COLE Denzel has every right to be in that match, after stunning Mister Dick with an upset elimination in the battle royal. He could surprise you, Coach. Or it could be the big man Bohemoth getting the briefcase or possibly former world champion PRL making his first appearance in an OAOAST ring since before Anglemania. COACH I got money on Reject or Spencer Reiger. Both these guys are future OAOAST World Champions! COLE Well, we'll see!

School Girl Brawl Josie, and French New Wave (Sophie and Molly Nerdly) Vs Lorelei DeCenzo, Holly, and women's champion Morgan Nerdly. I almost typed Molly not Morgan, even I am confused with Nerdly names, I can no longer look upon KC and Tony with scorn whenever they mix them up. Seeing that this is called School's Out, I figure fuck it let's hold it at a school, so we're holding the show at Tulane University in Nawlins What a marvelous jewel of modern building technology.

Word up sucka I have to call the opening seg and the ME seg, although if someone really,really,really needs the opener I'm flexible

Speak on it. Short show, but what was there was good especially the thing with Leon at the end.

COLE Fans, we promised you footage here tonight from the home of OAOAST World Champion Zack Malibu and right now, we have that footage ready and waiting. Ahead of, what promises to be one of the most personal and emotional matches in OAOAST history for the OAOAST World Title at School's Out. The ties run deep for Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. Former tag team partners, former tag team champions. Once best friends. A bond that went beyond the ring and into their personal lives outside of these arenas. But now there's bitterness and hatred brewing between these two, torn apart by months of contrasting fortunes. Earlier this week, we were asked to provide a camera crew to catch up with Leon ahead of his World Title match. But the former champion had rather unexpected plans for them as he paid a visit to the home of Zack Malibu in Providence. Take a look. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stood outside the picturesque home of OAOAST Franchise Zack Malibu and family, an unshaven and less than immaculate Leon Rodez stands with hands in pockets. Scowling, he reaches out and jabs the doorbell once before going back to his sorry pose. A few impatient seconds later, the door opens to reveal former Women's Champion and wife of Zack, Candie, apparantly expecting Leon and not looking very pleased about the situation. Leon doesn't even bother to look up and make eye contact at first but is forced to when Candie doesn't motion him in. CANDIE I'm not sure this is such a good idea Leon. LEON Why not? What do you think I'm going to do, huh? CANDIE I don't know what to think anymore. Used to the sound of people's disappointment by now, Leon ignores it from Candie. LEON If you were worried about what I was capable of, you wouldn't have agreed in the first place. You've known me for five years. You think I've changed that much in a couple of weeks? Resigned to agree Candie, albeit a little reluctantly, shows Leon in. LEON Where is she? CANDIE Playing in the front room. Just... make it quick, okay? LEON I just need five minutes to say goodbye. You owe me that much at least. CANDIE ...fine. Wandering through the Malibu house Leon finds his way to the front room, not exactly unfamiliar territory. As soon as he steps through the door little Jenna Malibu looks up at her familiar godparent and Leon stops for a second. Leon takes a breath to compose himself, before walking over and crouching down near her makeshift playarea. LEON Mind if I sit down? Jenna carries on playing as Leon sits in silence for a few seconds, perhaps trying to come up with what to say. LEON I'm... afraid I'm not going to be able to visit you for much longer. Uncle Leon's enjoyed the time he spent with you. Which is why he's got to go. Sooner or later, everything good in my life goes wrong. Everything good has to be taken away. So I'm doing it now. Because I can't bear to see you grow disillusioned with life like I am. Leon shakes his head sadly. LEON Pretty soon you'll be growing up. What life awaits you? The daughter of two famous professional wrestlers. They'll tell you you can be anything you want. That they'll be proud of you, no matter what. But you'll feel so pressured into following in their footsteps. And when you find out you're not as good as daddy was, not as good as mommy was and you hear those whispers behind your back, you're in for a miserable existance. Doing a job your parents love. Bitter that you can't live up to their expectations. Stressed that maybe they're not proud of you after all. Disappointment and failure. That's all life really offers anyone. Disappointment and failure. And you'll be ruined when somebody decides that famous parents or not, you haven't made the cut. Left to live your life with regret and "what ifs". Until one night you're thrown out of a bar, paralytic drunk, screaming "don't you know who I am!" as you lay in the gutter. I'll know who you are. And I don't want to see it happen to you. Blissfully unaware of what Leon's actually saying, so caught up in her little game, Jenna hands over one of her dolls to Leon. LEON Look at you. Not a care in the world. You've got no idea the world you've been born into. War. Famine. Crime. Corruption. A world where crooks and villians have all the power. And good hearted people like me are stomped into the ground. What's waiting for you? Either you'll get your dreams stomped on like I have... or you'll be the one manipulating people for your personal gain like your daddy. Either way, I can't bear to watch it happen. So, this is goodbye. Jenna continues playing away while Leon stares distantly towards one of the room's walls. LEON Because most of all, I know that one day... one day very soon, you're going to stop loving me, just like everybody else. You'll grow to hate me for what I'm going to have to do to your daddy. See, your daddy took something away from me that meant a lot. Not just my belt. My faith in human kindness. No good deed goes unpunished? With Zack, no deed, good or bad, is punished. Until now. You're too young to understand and to realise what I do at School's Out is for your daddy's own good. To make him see the errors of his ways, I have to hurt him. The way he hurt me. And I'm sure that victory at School's Out will just be a brief moment of happiness before life shoots me back down, punishes me for the pain I inflict, but I've lived the last five years of my life that way so why try and fight it!? If I'm going to be punished, it might as well be for some I deserve punishing for. That way, maybe I can look back when the dark cloud decends back over my head and instead of wondering "what did I do to deserve this?" over and over again, I'll KNOW what I did to deserve it... and maybe instead of emptiness, I'll feel some enjoyment for a change. Sighing deeply, Leon pulls himself back up. Looking at the doll in his hand he stops. LEON Do you mind if I keep this? Jenna shakes her head. Leon almost manages a smile, as he pockets the doll. LEON I'm sorry. When you're older, you'll understand. Leon starts to leave, stopping short of the doorway. He turns back, waiting for Jenna to look up. LEON Take good care of your daddy when he gets home. I think he might need it. Turning away, Leon looks at the doll in his hands before walking out of the room. COLE (V.O) Eye-opening footage of the full scale of this conflict between Zack Malibu and the embittered and turmoiled Leon Rodez. Leon has severed his ties to his goddaughter and the Malibu family, but for who's benefit was this really for? Jenna's, Leon's, or Zack's? What sort of mental state will an already enraged Zack Malibu be in after seeing this footage? We'll find out this Sunday night at School's Out... don't miss it! FADE OUT

Backstage, we find Biff Atlas and Vinny Valentine in high spirits for a change after Biff's rare victory. BIFF I can't believe it! Finally! VINNY I know baby. Pickin' up that 1, 2, 3, easy as A, B, C. I gotta tell ya man, just between you and me, I was this close to cuttin' you loose but finally, finally you're pulling your weight again. And now you've got this crazy major malfunction outta your system, I'm tellin' ya, we're gonna be chasing that tag team gold. Because the funky foxes, they love the gold. Not listening to a word of this, especially the part about being cut loose, Biff looks up. BIFF We need to keep this quiet. VINNY Whatchu talkin' about baby? We gotta sing it from the rooftops, let the world know what's up! BIFF No, no! If they find out, they'll fire me. VINNY What!? BIFF Well, they're not going to want me on the roster when they find out about my super strength. Think of the damage I could do to people. Too dangerous. VINNY *facepalm* Biff continues to look at his hands in amazement. VINNY Super strength!? BIFF Exactly! I can't believe I finally figured out what my power is! Didn't you see the elbow I gave MARV? VINNY Hold on up now... you really think that you hit MARV so hard that he flew 6 feet across the ring and passed out? BIFF What other explanation is there? Not wanting to hear anymore, Vinny sighs and walks off on his partner shaking his head. BIFF I'm telling you, it's the superpower! I'll show you...

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you buy Lorelei DeCenzo for Inspire. Uhhh ignore that parts that say Christina Aguilera We go to the ring, where ready and waiting is Biff Atlas along with a duking and jiving Vinny Valentine. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, accompanied by VINNY VALENTINE. He hails from Venice Beach, California and weighs two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFF... AAAAAAATTLLLLLLAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE We're ready for singles action with Biff Atlas, who according to what I'm hearing through my headpiece requested a match tonight. Which sounds somewhat suspicious to me, the idea that Biff would willingly put himself in danger. We'll have to get our sources verified on that one, fans. "Like The Angel" by Rise Against powers through the arena bringing out the ever pumped Christ Air Express. The twin brothers of terror hit a big leaping high-five, sending two pyrotechnic rockets bursting up from the stage, one orange and one blue, lighting them on their way. BUFFER And his opponent. From Edmonton, Alberta Canada... weighing one hundred, eighty five pounds. Being accompanied to the ring by his brother MEL, he is one half of The Christ Air Express... MMMMMAAAAAARRRRRRRVVVV!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Sliding in MARV goes to the turnbuckles and FISTPUMPS, which is how you know he's fired up! COLE What a reaction for The Christ Air Express, big fan favourites here in Pheonix! MARV leaps off the ropes and leaps into another leaping high-five with brother MEL before he leaves the ring. *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell sounds both men square up and Biff shows NO FEAR~! by shoving MARV in the chest! COLE Woah! COACH Who's this cat and what did he do with the real Biff Atlas? Almost unable to believe that just happened, MARV stands there confused. So Biff SHOVES him again. Shrugging his shoulders MARV decides to go with the flow and fires away on Biff with a series of forearms. Shot after shot rocks Biff, dazing him enough for an irish whip. MARV connects with a leg lariat to Biff as he rebounds off the ropes, then a dropkick when he bounces back to his feet. A second dropkick then sends Biff backpedalling, out through the ropes and to the floor, giving MARV time to fire up the crowd. COLE Biff may be showing no fear anymore, but he's having the same level of success as usual. Vinny jogs over to Biff's aid but is dismissed, Biff in no need for mortal assistance. He climbs right back into the battle and charges at MARV with a clothesline. Unfortunately, MARV ducks and catches him in a crucifix... 1... 2... No! Back up Biff tries again with his clothesline, MARV going underneath again and heading for the ropes. Crossbody block knocks Biff down... 1... 2... No! COLE MARV using that speed and quickness to great effect. Grabbing onto MARV, Biff prevents him from getting away and reels him in looking to scoop him up. MARV floats up and over the back, lands on his feet and pops Biff with a right hand as he turns around. With Biff rocked, MARV takes off into the ropes again. Shaking off the effects of the punch Biff sees MARV on the run and has plenty of time to move. But instead, he stands firm. Shutting his eyes he clenches his body up in preparation to get hit... ...which he won't, thanks to a trip from the floor by Valentine! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As MARV faceplants, Biff slowly opens his eyes to see his opponent downed. Nodding his head Biff doesn't look surprised or confused at all, as if he that's exactly what he was expecting. And he puts the boots to MARV, while telling Vinny "I told you". COLE I told you? What does that mean? Don't tell me Biff thinks HE did that to MARV himself. COACH This is the guy who thought drinking coffee without protective clothing was a potential deathtrap. Who knows what he's thinking and ain't thinking! Pulling MARV back up, Biff strikes him across the chest with his forearm. And again. MARV falls against the middle rope and Biff places his foot across the throat with a blatant choke. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Breaking away before the count of five Biff looks to be revelling in this rare moment of dominance. He takes hold of MARV and brings him away from the ropes. Scoop and a slam, enough for Biff to make a cover... 1... 2... No. COLE This is as much offence as Biff has put together in months! Brimming with confidence, Biff sends MARV into the ropes with an irish whip. Over-confidence causes him to duck his head early though, allowing MARV to catch him with a RUNNING DDT! COLE Well, so much for that. COACH Babysteps. Don't walk before you can crawl. It's MARV who's crawling, on top with a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! As Biff gets back up, MARV measures him with a standing dropkick. Biff is staggered back into a corner and MARV gets a run on him. Monkey flip attempt is blocked though, Biff wrapping his arms around the top rope! He shoves MARV off of him and although MARV lands on his feet, his relief is short as Biff wallops him with a clothesline out of the corner! COACH I never thought I'd say this, but don't count Biff out yet Mikey Cole! COLE Resiliance, not the first word that comes to mind when you think of Biff Atlas. But it seems this fear and parranoia he's been suffering from for so long has been miraculously cured and he's got a newfound confidence that he's not going to suddenly trip and suffer a heart attack everytime he takes a step. Vinny encourages Biff to get on MARV, stood still surprised that he's faring so well. He quickly snaps out of it and picks MARV back up. Irish whip sends MARV into the corner this time. Biff charges in looking for a big Avalanche... but MARV moves out of the way. COLE Nobody home! MARV quickly hits the ropes, but Biff turns around and CUTS HIM OFF WITH A BIG SPEAR!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE NO RUNNING~! Cover by Biff... 1... 2... Kickout! MEL breathes a sigh of relief as Biff holds his head in shock. COLE Almost a monumental upset! COACH I dunno what's going on with Biff, but whatever it is, it's an improvement. Yelling at his partner to 'put him away', Vinny senses victory, a very rare sensation when dealing with Biff indeed. Biff suddenly remembers he has a finishing move and tries to apply it, lifting MARV into a fireman's carry. Struggling around, MARV lands a couple of elbows to the head and manages to slip out the back, pushing Biff off towards a corner. MARV follows Biff in and Biff sidesteps away, but MARV stops himself. Biff makes the mistake of charging in again and pays for it again, running into MARV's elbow. Pushing up on the ropes MARV blasts the staggered Atlas with a missile dropkick from the second rope! COLE MARV getting a little air. Firing up, MARV hits the ropes and comes back at top speed with a running forearm smash, dropping Biff again. Biff is wobbly and gets scooped and slammed. COLE And MARV enjoyed it so much, he's going to get even higher! COACH LOLdrugtalk. Climbing to the top rope MARV takes flight, wiping Biff out with a Flying Crossbody! 1... 2... Kickout! MARV gets back to his feet but suddenly loses his concentration. The reason soon becomes clear, as THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS appear on the stage waving Jamie O'Hara's 'retired jersey' mockingly. COLE Now what are these guys doing out here!? They've got no business being here! COACH Hey, don't knock it, this is the most publicity O'Hara's had in weeks. COLE You're as bad as they are. Ducking a clothesline, MARV springs up to catch Biff with a Hurricanrana... 1... 2... NO! Vinny has seen enough at this point and climbs to the apron, trying to buy Biff a little time. Which brings MEL around the ring to try and drag him down. COLE With a commotion on the apron, the action continues undettered. MARV catches Biff with a boot to the gut and sets him up in a 3/4 facelock. Running to the corner MARV scales the turnbuckles like they were a halfpipe and looks to Acid Drop out, but Biff manages to shove him away. Landing on his feet, MARV makes a move, but Biff catches him with a stray elbow. COLE Ooh! MARV stumbles away from Biff and suddenly gets spun around, BY LOGAN MANN, WHO DELIVERS PERCUSSION IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE HEY! LOGAN MANN! Logan escapes undetected and watches with a smile as he backs up to where Synth is waiting. Picking himself up off his knees in the corner is Biff. Not having seen any of this occur, Biff looks around to see MARV KOed. Any normal person would be suspicious. But not Biff. He looks amazed at the power of his elbow, assuming that must have been what did the damage. And he scrambles to make the cover as the referee turns around... COLE Not like this! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!! COACH BIFF WINS! BIFF WINS! COLE I don't believe it! *DINGDINGDING!* Biff rolls to his knees and with an astonished look on his face, he looks to the heavens. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFF... AAAATTLLLLAAAAASSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" On the floor the scrap between Vinny and MEL stops out of pure shock at the announcement. Neither can quite believe it, sliding into the ring. MEL checks on MARV and instantly suspects what happened had something to do with The Heavenly Rockers, who back away waving the Knicks jersey. Vinny is left to wonder how Biff actually managed to win a match. Not even Biff's claims of 'superpowers' can dampen his spirits and once it sinks in, Vinny breaks into a celebratory disco dance, while Biff stares at his hands in amazement! COLE An amazing upset sees Biff Atlas victorious, but he and Vinny can thank The Heavenly Rockers and The Heavenly Rockers only for that. Vinny tries to get Biff to snap out of his trance as they leave the ring. Glares and finger pointing are exchanged between The Heavenly Rockers and The Christ Air Express in the middle of all this. COLE What a massive chip Logan and Synth have on their shoulders. They continue on with this character assassination of Jamie O'Hara for reasons only they can explain and now they cost The Christ Air Express a win here tonight, after the defeats they dished out on Logan and Synth the past few weeks. COMMERCIAL

The VICE Headquartes houses the always obnoxious DETECTIVE BOSLEY The calm and cool CPA and of course their deeply depressed leader MORGAN NERDLY While CPA plays solitaire on his black berry, Morgan does some paperwork and Bosley chills out listening to TI’s my life Nevermind what haters say, ignore them ’til they fade away. Amazing they ungreat for after all the games I gave away. Safe to say I paved the way, for you can’t get paid today. You still be wasting days away, nah had I never saved the day. Consider them my protégé, how much I think they should pay. Instead of being gracious, they violated and made you wait. I never been a hater still I love them, yeah I graze the way. Some say they so yay and no they couldn’t even work on Labor day. It aint that they black or white, their hands of area in shades of grey. BOSLEY Who the fuck is this dude trynna impress with his big words? This song is bullshit! When I put on my rap shit I don’t wanna here a loser reciting Webster’s Dictionary. But that's what he's doing and it pisses me off! Fuck this fucker! I’m the opposite of moderate, immaculately polished with the spirit of a hustler and the swagger of a college kid. Allergic to the counterfeit, impartial to the politics. Articulate but still would grab a nigga by the collar quick. Whoever had problems, they reckonsile they just holla ‘tip. If that don’t work and just fails, then turn around and follow ‘tip. BOSLEY He did it again! This asshole did it again! Seems as though you lost sight of whats important with the positive. And checks until your bank account, and you’re about poverted. Your values is a disarrayed, prioritized are horribly. Unhappy with the riches cause you piss poor morraly. MORGAN "Piss po' morally" is pretty difficult to wrap your head around. BOSLEY To hell with it! I’ll tell you what I wanna hear when I listen to rap! I wanna hear about big booty bitches, givin dudes head and that kinda stuff! MORGAN You want to hear them rap about givin dudes head? BOSLEY That’s not what I said! MORGAN You said you wanna hear about big booty bitches COMMA givin dudes head COMMA and all that stuff. You sound kind of gay. BOSLEY No I don’t! MORGAN And what’s with all the bodybuilding competitions you go to, and how come earlier this week you asked Bohemoth if you could feel his pecs. BOSLEY He has the pecs of a fuckin alpha male, respect that! CPA tell her I’m not queer! CPA Why are you always yelling, we’re all sitting at the same table. A quick knock on the door brings in Lorelei DeCenzo, wearing a flowing silver beaded evening gown. BOSLEY Lorelei! She’ll tell you I play for the straight team! LORELEI Your sexuality is your business and your’s alone, detective. I’ve come to talk to Morgan. MORGAN What’s going on? Is something wrong? LORELEI Yes, when you attacked Josie- MORGAN She deserved it! She was mocking me, and yelling at me, and she didn’t want to understand. So I’d punished her. I may have low self esteem but that doesn’t mean you can walk all over me. LORELEI It truly was her fault, she brought it on herself. However, you stirred up some fighting spirit within her and she as sought to stage a “School Girl Brawl” at School’s Out. BOSLEY Yeah, baby, that’s the shit right there! Hot girls in short skirts, god I love this place! LORELEI She’s put together her team of Molly, Sophie, and herself against your team. MORGAN My team? How can I have a team if I just found out about it? LORELEI I’ve taken the liberty of selecting your team for you. It’ll be myself, you, and Holly who excels at brawls. I don’t see how we could possibly lose. Actually, I predict their destruction. MORGAN You and Holly can handle Molly and Sophie, I just want Josie, and I want to fry the skin off her bones for every word she said to me. COMMERCIAL

mainevent indeed!

Backstage Alix and Krista, both dressed in Holy Robes are with a gathering of people to frightened to say “No!” when Krista orders them to get over here and sit their asses down. ALIX Ladies and gentlemen we are gathered on this day, this holy day provided to us in the name of Jesus almighty, Christ our savoir, and god our healer, to pray for the souls of men who’ve gone down roads no man should ever go down. Yes my brothers and sisters, yes indeed we do pray for Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant. Be you Jewish, or Christian, or Muslim please join us. Here to lead us in prayer and love Rabbi Krista Isadora Duncan. KRISTA Thank you, sister Alix. On this day my friends, we pray! Oh yes we do pray today! And we give thanks! Oh yes we do give thanks that we are we and not D*LUX! ALIX Tell it, Rabbi! KRISTA We know that if we were like D*LUX in anyway, we would have a lot in common with a newborn baby, we wouldn’t be smart enough to wipe our own asses. ALIX Go on and sing it, Rabbi! KRISTA D*LUX, D*LUX, let me pause so that our home parishioners can look up these two nobodies on wikipedia. Wait, I’m sorry their wiki page redirects to “gigantic assholes”. And that is why we pray and hold peace in our arms today. Did you know Shayne’s mother had a trying childbirth, one that pushed her threshold for pain to the very limit. But even still it wasn’t as miserable as having to listen to D*LUX sing. And that is why we pray today. ALIX D*LUX has given us such lyrics in their never before released songs like “zoom zoom in my car, ready to go boom boom if you are". “baby you’re a ten even without this glass of gin.” Thanks, Jim Morrison, we really appreciate that. KRISTA For that we pray, and we give thanks for all the good that has been done in the world. As I think of D*LUX, my children, I ask what do you call a group that is musical genius personified, what do you call a group that is a pop music icon, what do you call a group that has inspired thousands of young people realize their dreams, you call that group….N Sync. But they broke up and all we have are two untalented pieces of crap named D*LUX. I firmly believe that if they were sent to live in Israel, the Palestinans wouldn’t want their land back. We pray for the hard times to come and recognize the times D*LUX has had. Wrestling hundreds of matches, singing hundreds of times, 10 t-shirts based off of them, 6 D*LUX arm bands, one six man title run, and a grand total of zero fans over the age of ten. Dear god, you have given us D*LUX hats, D*LUX pens, D*LUX socks, and even D*LUX toilet patties, please give us a D*LUX landfill so we can throw all that crap out. Sister Alix if you'll lead us in the Christian prayer. ALIX God is good, god is good! I just came to tell you just how good my god is! I wanna sing to you just how good my god has been. If ya know the song feel free. I'm gonna tell ya how good gods been! I'm gonna tell ya how good god's been! The weather started gettin rough, the tiny ship was tossed, but if it wasn't for the courage of the group I said the Minnow would be lost. Talkin bout the Love Boat, exciting and brand new, I said the Love Boat a new adventure waiting for you. I say Now we're up in teh big leagues Gettin' our turn at bat. As long as we live, it's you and me baby There ain't nothin wrong with that. Well we're movin on up, To the east side. To a deluxe apartment in the sky. Movin on up To the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie. The captured audience claps for Alix's song, mostly because Krista is angrily shaking her fist at them. SCHOOLS OUT! FIRST TIME EVER CHICKS OVER DICKS VS D*LUX MAY 31st (we hope!) COMMERCIAL

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- COLE Folks, welcome to very last HeldDOWN before School's Out! COACH We doing it big in Phoenix A-Z home of the Suns and host to HeldDOWN~! COLE We're promised a big interview with Leon Rodez later on tonight, as well as words from Chicks Over Dicks. But right now the veteran voice of octagon, Bruce Buffer. BUFFER The following tag team event is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, hailing from Omaha, Nebraska and the Everglades respectively, the team of “SLOPPY” JOE MANWICH and OUTHOUSE JACK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Joe munches on an actual sloppy joe in the corner while Jack pulls out the hunting knife ready to slash throats of hecklers. Thankfully "Citizen Soldier" by 3 Doors Down hits to move things along. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Peoria, Illinois, wrestling’s last real good guy… TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH! His tag team partner, hailing from San Antonio, Texas… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS! Collectively they are CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BW and Cash do the usual baby face thing, slapping hands, etc. COLE As the Citizen Soldiers head to the ring for our next bout, the Last Kings of Scotland have got to be on the back of their minds. They still have unfinished business with them. COACH Wait a minute, Mikey Cole. The Citizen Soldiers had the opportunity to settle the score last week but chickened out when it became obvious the task was too much. COLE Oh please. The Last Kings had the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club watching their backs. It was going to be a 4 on 2. And despite all that Baron Windels and Tim Cash still wanted some! The pre-match attire comes off and the bell sounds. * DINGDINGDING * Cash offers Joe his customary opening bell handshake and Joe wipes his hand across Cash‘s face! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” His face smeared with manwich sauce, Cash grabs a side headlock and really cranks on the pressure. Joe whips Cash into the ropes and telegraphs a backdrop, which Cash leapfrogs and then connects with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK! Joe stumbles into the ropes and back at Cash who executes a monkey flip. The Citizen Soldiers tag and Baron Windels delivers a TOP ROPE LARIAT! Quick tag follows and BW fires Joe off as Cash lands a MISSLE DROPKICK! COLE Joe is getting his ass kicked, Cole. Yet another tag from the Citizen Soldiers, and this time they perform a DOUBLE SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! Baron then hooks Joe and spikes him head-first into the mat with a DDT! COLE Brigham Young Cocktail! Cash dropkicks Jack off the apron as BW makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of BARON WINDELS and TIM CASH... CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! BW and Cash have little time for celebration as they find themselves surrounded by the LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND and MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" 4 on 2 the ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS arrive to even the odds. COACH What are these guys doing sticking their nose in somebody else’s business? COLE Living up to a promise, even with a tag team title shot 3 nights away. Remember they vowed to watch the Citizen Soldiers back. COACH Yeah, during their feud with the Enterprise. Between them and Zack Malibu I don’t know who’s the bigger spotlight whore! All the Queen’s men back off as the Citizen Soldiers and O.C. Cobras stand tall inside the ring.

Clearly these are lies of the lowest order! You're just mad that Barcelona meet Man U! I'd expect the same thing out of Alf if the Colts lost in the superbowl. I however am above such banal pursuits. I stand atop my summit enjoying the Lakers not as a sport but rather as an art. Praise me!

Yeah, I've had one measly fight go the distance and that was in career mode. I just kept taking the guy down but never getting a submission, and he rocked me a few times but not enough to stop the fight. Every other time I've fought its an endless stream of KOs.

Hopefully a COD interview and a medium sized match announcement

Hey it all came together in the end after all, good job gang. And I didn't even have to write 90% of the segments for the show either.

Master Blaster (Jammin') plays, and Denzel Spencer gets a nice reaction as he makes his way to the ring. COLE And here comes one of the entrants in the Money in the Bank match, Denzel Spencer! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, from Montego Bay, Jamaica, weighing in at 227 pounds...DENNNNNZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COLE Obviously a big longshot to come out victorious at School's Out, but Denzel Spencer has surprised people before in the OAOAST, so we'll see! Spencer slides into the ring and poses on the buckles, as Final Ride hits, and boos fill the arena as Reject makes his entrance. BUFFER His opponent...hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 230 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! Reject climbs into the ring and poses, drawing boos, then tries a sneak attack, but Denzel sees it coming, and moves out of the way, firing off right hands! *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go! Reject going for the cheap shot, but Denzel too smart for it! Spencer hammers on Reject in a corner, leveling him with kicks and forearms, then attempts an Irish whip. However, Reject reverses, then charges, but Spencer moves out of the way! Spencer then catches Reject with a drop toe hold, then a clothesline as he gets to his feet! COLE Denzel Spencer looking great in the early going! Spencer then backs Reject into a corner, and climbs to the second rope, hammering away as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Spencer then whips Reject into the ropes, but puts his head down, and gets kicked in the face by Reject! COLE Mistake by Spencer, and Reject taking advantage! Spencer staggers into the ropes, but when Reject charges him, he ducks down and dumps him to the floor! COLE And Reject sent to the outside! Spencer stops briefly to catch his breath, then backs into the ropes, and attempts a baseball slide, but Reject steps out of the way, then clotheslines Spencer on the floor! COACH Yeah! COLE Big clothesline from Reject, Spencer landing on the floor with a thud! Reject catches his breath, then stomps away on Spencer before tossing him back inside. Reject rolls back in, then picks up Spencer by the head, running to the ropes and jumping over the top, hanging Spencer on the rope! COACH Beautiful! Reject quickly rolls back in, then hits a fistdrop on Spencer and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject then chokes away on Spencer on the mat, breaking at the referee's four-count. He then poses for the crowd, drawing boos. COLE Reject with the advantage here in this match featuring two of the eight Money in the Bank participants! Reject grabs Spencer and pulls him to the apron, then steps outside and drops an elbow across the collarbone area! He then does it a second time, and Spencer falls off the apron and onto the floor. COACH And now it goes to the outside, Cole, and this plays into Reject's advantage! COLE I'd have to agree with that. Reject picks up Spencer, and drops him across the guardrail! He then picks him up again, and throws him HARD into the steel steps! COACH DAY-UM~! COLE What FORCE Reject used to send Spencer into those steel steps! Reject then rolls back inside and poses some more for the crowd, who boos in response. He lets Spencer crawl back inside, then drops an elbow to the back of the head. Spencer turns over to his back, and Reject drops a fist. He then drops another, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Credit to Denzel Spencer, he keeps kicking out! Reject picks up Spencer, but Spencer starts firing off right hands! COLE And look at him fight back! Spencer whips Reject into the ropes, but Reject ducks a spinkick, and drills Spencer with a spinning wheel kick! COACH There we go! COLE But just like that, Reject puts a stop to the rally! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Reject goes to the top rope, but Spencer beats him to the corner, and racks him! COACH Oh no! COLE Big chance for Specner to gain an advantage! Spencer follows Reject to the top, and takes him off with a HURRICANRANA~! COLE BIG move by Denzel Spencer! Both men are out on the mat, as the referee counts. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Spencer gets to his feet first, and ducks a clothesline from Reject, hitting him with an atomic drop! Reject is propelled into the ropes, and when he comes back, Spencer catches him with an inverted atomic drop! Denzel then takes Reject down with a jumping sidekick, ala Booker T, and covers... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE Near-fall for Denzel Spencer! Spencer picks up Reject, and whips him into a corner, hitting with a handspring elbow! As Reject staggers out, Spencer slips behind him and climbs the ropes backwards, then hits Reject with a missile dropkick! COLE Big dropkick! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE WOW, so close! Spencer argues the count, then scoops Reject up, but Reject slips behind the back, and delivers a foot to the gut. COACH Could be the Pitch Black, Cole! Reject sets up the PITCH BLACK~!!!!!11111, but Spencer backdrops out! COLE Nice counter by Denzel! Spencer hooks a standing headscissors of his own, but Reject trips him up, and executes a slingshot...right into the referee in the corner! COLE And the referee goes down! As Denzel checks on the referee, Reject goes into his tights and pulls out a set of brass knuckles. COACH Uh-oh... COLE Denzel better watch out here! Denzel goes back over to Reject...who decks him with the knucks! COLE And Denzel gets nailed with the brass knuckles! Don't let it end this way! The referee slowly crawls over, and makes the count... 1... 2... NO!!! Denzel gets the shoulder up! COLE Only two! COACH I can't believe it. Reject rolls out of the ring, and grabs a steel chair, then slides back inside. He sizes Denzel up, as the referee is still dazed, then the crowd begins to cheer as Alfdogg runs down the aisle! COLE Hey! It's Alf! COACH What's he doing down here? Alf slides into the ring and grabs the chair from Reject, then clobbers him over the head with it! COLE What a shot with the steel chair! Alf tosses the chair to the outside, and departs, as Denzel pulls himself to his feet. Denzel makes his way over to Reject, and positions him, then climbs to the top. COACH No, this is not right, Cole! Alf had no business out here! Denzel gets position on the top rope, and hits the KINPUPPALICK~!!!!!11111 Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And Denzel wins! Can you believe it? BUFFER The winner of the match...DENNNNNZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COACH Well, what do you expect with Alf's interference? COLE It's Reject's own fault, he's the one who brought the chair into the ring! COACH This stinks! Spencer rolls out of the ring and slaps hands with the fans down the aisle, as Reject comes to in the ring, then gets to his feet, as the referee explains what happened. In response, Reject executes the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 on the referee! COLE And now Reject with the Eulogy on the referee! Reject throws a tantrum in the ring, then exits the ring and storms back down the aisle. COLE Reject now having to face reality, as Denzel Spencer gets the winner's purse at his expense! Folks we'll see you next week! Have a great memorial day weekend! FADE OUT

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by LANDON MADDIX FOR SPANISH HAIR CARE Returning from our commercial break we find Lorelei DeCenzo standing inside the ring with Morgan Nerdly. As Morgan keeps her hands shoved deep into her pockets, Lorelei speaks on the microphone. LORELEI Supposedly Morgan is supposed to apologize for what she did to Josie last week. Apparently the producers of this show think that Morgan must lower her pride and attempt to feign pity for Josie’s sake. I’m sorry to tell you none of that will be happening tonight! Morgan has no reason to apologize to anyone. If anything Josie owes Morgan an apology for the way she allowed her sister to frame her, and how she treated Morgan with utter disrespect in her office. Morgan when Josie belittled you, how did it feel? MORGAN It hurt me a lot. LORELEI And why did it hurt you? MORGAN Because it took me back to my childhood, when my parents would dismiss all my problems and say I’m just being an immature kid, why can’t I act more like Melissa or Maggie ? Why can’t I be someone else. I’m nobody else! I’m Morgan! I have problems, lots of problems, but I’m not gonna let anyone make light of me or make fun of me. I know to all of you I’m a freak, you couldn’t give a crap me and no one else does either. I don’t care what you think! I don’t care if you know I hear voices or know what medicines I’m on better than my psychiatrist. I just want you all to go! Just leave me alone! LORELEI Who can not see the pain in anguish in this girl? Many people here are heartless and cold, compassion holds no home in professional wrestling. But I Mackenzie Lorelei DeCenzo promise to stand by this troubled young girl. I’ll be her friend when so many people want to be her enemy. I’m that kind of good person. I have the morals that the OAOAST Marks are sorely lacking. Suddenly Sophie appears on the Angletron! SOPHIE Bonjour, madames. Lorelei, tu est une espece d’imbelicle! Tu es un pauvre! LORELEI You can’t talk to me like that! SOPHIE Va te faire foutre! Tu es la possion merde! LORELEI Morgan , you can not let this tramp talk to me like that! Go and stop her at once! Following orders with the enthusiasm of broken robot, Morgan exits the ring. Her tiny fists are clenched into tight balls as she trudges up the ramp to find Sophie backstage. The problem is Sophie is no where near the backstage area. She’s in fact sliding into the ring after coming through the crowd. Unaware of Sophie’s arrival is Lorelei. Because of this the French Girl easily spears her down to the mat! COACH CATFIGHT~! This battle of feisty felines goes decidely Sophie’s way as she rips and tears at Lori’s hair and expensive gown. The fans are delighted to see Lori get her comeuppance. But, Sophie’s revenge is cut short by security pouring into the ring! Freed from Sophie, Lori screams threats at the top of her lungs and promises Sophie’s destruction. COMING UP NEXT THE MAINEVENT DENZEL SPENCER VS REJECT NEXT! COMMERCIAL THE LONG AND WELL STORIED HISTORY OF THE MONEY IN THE BANK! ~ ANGLEMANIA V TWO FOR THE MONEY MATCH~ Malibu reaches up, and his hand grazes the belt once before it takes hold of it, snapping the belt and the attatched contract off the harness! CABOOSE HE'S GOT IT! RING THE BELL! *DING DING DING* COLE ZACK MALIBU HAS WON TWO FOR THE MONEY! ~2008 MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT~ COLE Krista Isadora Duncan has become Miss Money In The Bank! SCHOOLS OUT 2008, HISTORY WILL BE MADE ONCE AGAIN

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest, partner versus partner, is scheduled for one fall! "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 plays and those partners emerge, together, and far from eager. Tyler and Shayne look far too troubled to pose for their adoring fans as they stare at the ring, then at each other, dreading what they're finding themselves about to have to do. BUFFER Introducing first, from Auburn Hills, Michigan... weighing one hundred and ninety six pounds... he is one half of D*LUX, "TREMENDOUS" TTYYYYYYLLLEEEEERRRR... BBRRRRYYYYYAAAAANNTT!! ..... (nudge) And, uh, also making his way to the ring is his opponent, from Detroit, Michigan... he weighs one hundred, eighty three pounds, also one half of D*LUX, "SHOWTIME" SSSSHHHHHAAAAYYYYYNNEEEE... BBRRRRAAAAAVVVVVEEEEEEE!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE This is a most unique match and unique situation for Tyler and Shayne to find themselves in. D*LUX, teammates for so long, pitted against each other. COACH Well they brought in on themselves. Dumb young simps thought they could play Krista. Well they made a hell of a mistake, didn't they? COLE D*LUX of course eager to get a tag team match with their idols Chicks Over Dicks. And thanks to their on-off manager Jade Rodez-Duncan, daughter of Krista, they got their match, at School's Out in ten days. But, the question is, at what cost? Entering the ring, Tyler and Shayne stand around wondering what to do for a few seconds. After all, this isn't a normal situation. Stood in the same corner they discuss, before approaching the referee apparantly trying to get him to help them out. Ref Charles Robinson shrugs his shoulders, just there to do his job and informing the poor kids that his job doesn't involve making or cancelling matches. COACH What's the matter, all out of genius ideas? Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Uh-oh! Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey Tyler and Shayne freeze as they hear "Top Of The World" by The Pussycat Dolls pumping through the arena. Because just when things couldn't get worse, here arrive Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia! A very popular arrival, especially when the Oklahoma fans catch sight of Krista's sexy secretary get-up, clipboard in hand and ready for business. SEXY business. Krista marches to the ring, blowing a kiss to the camera as she passes, lifting up her spectacles as she does so. Behind her, Alix has apparantly decided tonight is casual Thursday by not dressing up to match her partner. COLE D*LUX can only dread to think why Krista and Alix are out here. COACH Who cares why they're out here? LOOK! That's one boss I wouldn't mind putting in the overtime for. BAZAAM~! Stepping her way around ringside Krista takes up position at the commentary table where Coach tries his best to stop bouncing around in his excitement. KRISTA Wellity wellity wellity, what do we have here? COLE Krista, thanks for joining us. What brings you out here? KRISTA The sparkling personality and the enlightened conversation topics. What do you think brings us out here? We're here on a scouting mission. Since these two are sooo desperate to face Chicks Over Dicks in a match, well we'd just be the meanest people were we not to take it seriously, wouldn't we? COLE Well, that explains the suit and clipboard. KRISTA What, this? Oh, no, I just came from a meeting with my lawyers, that's all that is. But until the charges are dropped I'm not allowed to speak of it on air, so let's settle for discussing wrestling stuff and pretend I never said any of that stuff I just said right now, 'kay? Yes, it does explain my suit. Thank you for noticing. Still hesitant to get underway Tyler and Shayne are pointed to their opposite corners by the referee. They continue to protest and getting sick of waiting around, Robinson signals for the bell, to their dismay. *DINGDINGDING!* Having a sudden realisation, Tyler and Shayne stop pleading with the referee and turn to each other. Both looking at each other hoping they have a suggestion they look lost stood in the middle of the ring. KRISTA Tremendous action here, the kind you'll only see on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Referee Robinson motions for the two to start fighting but it's clear Tyler and Shayne don't want to. With few other options they shrug shoulders and exchange looks, thinking about going for a tie-up to get things underway. They slowly approach each other, but before locking together they back away uncomfortable with the idea. KRISTA This is like the worst gay kiss tease scene in history. Except for the 6 years you two have been broadcasting together. COACH Hey, I'm the token straight one in this foursome, don't get it twisted. Tyler and Shayne, urged on by the restless crowd, go to tie-up again, only to back away again. Some boos sound out as Tyler and Shayne just can't bring themselves to fight. Eventually though, one of them has an idea. Tyler relays the plan before dropping to the ground and Shayne, after a little hesitation, gets the message and covers... 1... KRISTA Nuh-uh... 2... KRISTA STOP STOP STOP! Commandeering a house microphone, Krista manages to get Robinson's attention just before the three count can happen. KRISTA Nice try, nice try. I'm afraid though that I'd prepared for this eventuality. When I convinced you to sign up for this match, I didn't do it to see one of you laying on top of the other one. If I'd wanted to see that, I would have just tricked you into posing for an imaginary charity calendar I'd tell you I was producing, then Photoshop out the pants, stick them on the internet and make me some dough. Infact, that's a pretty good idea. Forget I said that. No no, tonight I wanted to see Tyler and Shayne fight and what Krista wants, Krista gets, this is fact. So you two better start fighting right now. Back on their feet Tyler and Shayne look quizzically at Krista, who sighs. KRISTA What happened to all that competitive spirit you had going? Alright, fine. Obviously you need something to fight for, besides the threat of my heel up your ass. So, thinking along those lines, whoever wins doesn't get their ass kicked. Can't say fairer than that. Thinking about it for a moment, D*LUX decide that's not much consolation. KRISTA You spotted how I was lying to you there, well done. ALIX How about winners gets to kiss you? KRISTA Where the hell did you come from!? And no! Apparantly that seems more D*LUX's kind of prize. Sensing their interest Krista, secretly cursing Alix, rolls her eyes. KRISTA FINE. Winner gets to pucker up. Right on cue, Shayne pulls Tyler down with a schoolboy rollup! 1... 2... No! Back up and Tyler goes behind on Shayne with his own rollup... 1... 2... No! Into a collar and elbow tie-up the two partners rough each other up as they jockey for position, all sense of friendship and camaraderie out of the window. Falling into the ropes they're forced to break by referee Robinson, who's suddenly gone from trying to convince the two into fighting to now trying to get them to stop. KRISTA Guess I should have thought of that sooner. COLE Well it looks like we've finally got a match going here between Shayne and Tyler, now that there's an incentive for them. KRISTA I've made some large sacrifices in my life and... you know what, scratch that, I really haven't. I've never really felt the need for them, what with my wealth, fame and fortune. My psychiatrist is always telling me to experience new feelings in life though, come to think of it. So this'll do. COACH They do know you're still gonna kill 'em, right? KRISTA Oh I don't even know anymore. Whether they know, whether they don't, who cares really. So long as it happens, what's the diff.? Tyler and Shayne stand in opposite corners have been separated, breathing a little heavier now. They suddenly rush forward out of their corners at the same time charging head on at each first. Shayne tries to take out Tyler's legs with a baseball slide but Tyler frontflips right over him, landing on his feet. Grabbing Shayne he looks for a whip to the corner. Shayne reverses, then charges in and meets a knee to the face. Quickly up to the second rope Tyler grabs Shayne in a front facelock looking for a Tornado DDT. As he takes off Shayne manages to shove him away, but Tyler lands safely on his feet. Shayne comes out of the corner looking for a clothesline, ducked by Tyler who catches the arms. Backslide attempt is countered by Shayne, flipping himself over Tyler's back and out in front. A faked kick causes Tyler to cover up, allowing Shayne to float over the top with a sunset flip attempts. Tyler rolls right through to his feet though, faking a kick of his own and rolling over Shayne in a jacknife pin... 1... 2... No! Both men are quickly back up, Tyler quickly back down as Shayne makes a move. Going up and over Shayne comes off the ropes with a headscissors, but bails out halfway round to catch Tyler with a schoolboy instead... 1... 2... No! Running right past Tyler, Shayne comes off the ropes and hits a crossbody block... 1... Tyler rolls over on top... 1... 2... No! Tyler rolls back up, but has his legs swept by Shayne... 1... 2... No! Kicked up onto his feet, Shayne is swept down... 1... 2... No! Both men roll over and nip up at the exact same time and it's a STAND OFF! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" KRISTA Do people really value a kiss with moi this highly? COLE Well, appara... KRISTA That was rhetorical. Of course they do. ALIX FWIW, she's a definite 8/10. 8.5 when she's drunk. A little more cautious Tyler and Shayne lock up. Tyler grabs a side headlock, but gets shot off into the ropes. Dropdown by Shayne forces Tyler up and over, looking for a leapfrog as his partner rebounds but gets CAUGHT! Shayne manages to flip back out of powerbomb position though, then crawls through the legs avoiding a kick from Tyler. That leaves the Tremendous One unbalanced and he falls prey to a Leg Lariat! Cover by Shayne... 1... 2... No! COLE What tremendous action here, the kind you'll only see on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! KRISTA ..... ALIX Didn't you... I mean... you said that... that happened earli... KRISTA Shh shh shh. Give him his moment honey. It's all he has. Shayne hooks Tyler up looking for a suplex, but it's blocked. After another block Tyler uses his power advantage to take his partner up instead, dangerously close to the ropes. Shayne is able to navigate his way onto the apron though, leaning in with a shoulder block through the ropes. Bringing himself in over the top of Tyler, Shayne makes a dash for the ropes and gets caught on the rebound with a Powerslam! Tyler covers... 1... 2... No! Brought back up by his partner, Shayne is whipped to the corner. Tyler follows in with a clothesline. TYLER YEAH-UH~!~! KRISTA That's it? "Yeah-uh"? That's his big thing? Oh, if it weren't all so tragic it wouldn't be so entertaining. Tyler grabs Shayne as he's coming out of the corner and looks for another whip. This time it's countered and Tyler is sent hurtling towards the corner. Wise to this, Tyler runs up the turnbuckles and gets to the top, going for the crossbody... and hanging on! He delays for a second more, then twists with the crossbody... AND GETS DROPKICKED IN MID-AIR!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Went for the Auburn Hills Fakeout, but Shayne knew it was coming and didn't fall for the fake! ALIX Nothing wrong with fake. Bouncy bouncy! Shayne covers Tyler... 1... 2... Kickout! KRISTA Okay, I'm officially bored. COLE What!? This is a great match! KRISTA Eh. Shayne brings Tyler away from the turnbuckles and delivers a backbreaker, before heading up top. Playing to the crowd, Showtime steadies himself... and MISSES with the Picture Perfect Elbowdrop! KRISTA Gee, that was stupid. He's stupid. They're both stupid. How stupid can you get? ALIX Ooh, ooh, I know, I know! Ask me! KRISTA Your witness. Both boybanders struggle back to their feet with Tyler winning the race. As such, he has time to prepare, snatching Shayne once he's upright and elevating him onto the shoulders looking for the TKO. Shayne slips free and tries to hit the Snapmare Driver to Tyler. Tyler shoves him away, leading to a double clothesline as Shayne comes back, leaving both men down. KRISTA You'd think if you put one half against D*LUX against another half of D*LUX and bet on D*LUX to win, you'd be making easy money. Yet somehow, this two seem to want to make it so they both lose. And in the process, we all lose for having to watch these barely pubescent ignorami. I apologise for even making this match happen. I don't know what I was thinking. Please don't hate me OAOAST public! Grab a book or a magazine to pass the time until it's over or something. At the referee's count of five both Tyler and Shayne begin to stir. COLE I take it you're not impressed by this then Krista. I wonder what Maya, D*LUX's super fan, is making of all this watching at home? KRISTA She probably still sobbing over the ashes of all that memorabilia I burnt at the weekend. Word of advice, don't use burning laminated posters to roast marshmallows over. The fumes are intoxxicating. ALIX I travelled back to Roman times! It was swank! Back up at seven, Tyler and Shayne start exchanging forearms. KRISTA What is this sissy shit? HIT HIM! HARDER! COLE Which one are you cheering for? KRISTA The one that doesn't suck. COACH So, neither? KRISTA Bingo. After a succession of shots Tyler gets the advantage and whips Shayne to the ropes. Ducking his head, Tyler gets Shayne up on the shoulders again, but again Shayne slips free. He runs Tyler to the ropes and rolls him back... 1... 2... Counter by Tyler... 1... 2... Kickout! Shayne rushes forward, sidestepped by Tyler. The Tremendous One ducks his head early and Shayne sees his opportunity, floating over with a sunset flip... but Tyler reaches back for the legs then drops to his knees, stacking Showtime up... 1... 2... 3!!! KRISTA Oh thank you! Mercy from the gods! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, "TREMENDOUS" TTYYYYLLLLEEEERRRRRR... BBRRRYYYAAAAAAANNTT!!! Celebrating his win, Tyler makes sure not to go over the top and comiserates with a disappointed Shayne. Meanwhile COD leave the announce booth and head for the ring. COLE Do you think Krista realised the microphone was still on the deck and everyone could hear what she was saying the whole time? COACH Honestly? Yes. As Krista and Alix enter, Tyler tries to contain his excitement. KRISTA Well, congratulations to you... uhm... wait, which one of you won again? Tyler raises his hand, ego suitably dented. KRISTA Right, of course. Well by the rules of the match that means you get to pucker on up, so while I go against everything my mother brought me up to believe as a budding teen model and supress the urge to vomit, is there anything you'd like to say? TYLER Uhm... well, I guess I'd like to say thank you, but uh... we kinda heard you commentating in the background and you were sorta mean about us. What was that about? KRISTA Oh, sweetie. Shut up and purse those lips. Not one to disobey that order, Tyler shrugs and does just that. Krista pulls out a lipstick from her pocket and gets herself ready. KRISTA It's funny. Jade always said you two were a little naive and I just dismissed it, much like most of what she says. But you two REALLY don't get it, do you? Krista blows a kiss to camera, licks her lips... ...AND PUNCHES TYLER RIGHT IN THE FACE!!!! COLE OH! Jumping to his fallen partner's side, Shayne looks up wondering what the hell that was for. KRISTA A kiss with a fist is better than none. Before Shayne knows what's happening, Krista gives the signal as she and Alix proceed to stomp the hell out of the boybanders, to more than a fair share of cheers from the Oklahoma crowd!! The young boybanders are beaten to the ground with shocked looks etched on their faces. Krista halts with her kicks as she grabs Tyler's legs and splays them. Suddenly feeling faint, Alix staggers around, before taking a very dramatic collapse, headfirst between the Tremendous legs of Tyler!! As he rolls around in agony, Shayne finds his way back to his feet, only to be blown a kiss goodbye and struck with KIDOLOGY!!! COLE Chicks Over Dicks are teaching D*LUX a lesson in CODology! Checking her hair is all in place Krista dusts her hands with satisfaction. Alix dances around the fallen bodies of D*LUX, double dog daring them to get them some more. "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" COLE And this crowd are going wild for some VINTAGE~! Chicks Over Dicks! Krista stands over D*LUX and tells them "This is what happens when you mess with us!", as if further exclamation point were needed on top of the beatdown. Pulling out her lipstick again, Krista then kneels down and proceeds to put a literal stamp on their handiwork as she scrawls the letters "COD" onto the foreheads of both Tyler and Shayne. Ignoring Alix's urges to "draw a penis too, that'd be killer awesome" Krista then leaves to the adulation of the crowd. COACH You know what the best thing is? This is only the start! The appetiser! The hors d'eouvre! Imagine what epic sonning Krista and Alix are gonna dish out at School's Out! COLE It may be playground bullying at it's most brutal at School's Out! We may see wedgies, we may see swirlies, we may see some wet willies! COACH You wish. COD leave with their point proven in grand fashion, but it's clear that Krista hasn't gotten more than a fraction of her revenge yet as she looks back at D*LUX struggling to recover themselves in the ring.

Inside the Cucaracha Internacional locker room, Landon Maddix paces around, an air of frustration about him. Black and Faqu are off at the back of the room with Megan, it's Cortez and Blonde who's attentions Landon has, sat on opposite ends of a leather couch. MADDIX That could have been us out there. Eight man tag, united as one. You think either of those teams would have been a match for us? We would have demolished them. Dominated them! Sighing, Landon stops pacing, hands on hips. MADDIX I just don't get it. We've got a good thing going... and yet, you two sign up for this 'Money In The Bank' match, meaning we can't go and flaunt our superiority and unity on Pay Per View like we should have been doing. And the first I hear about it is when I'm told, "oh no Landon, we can't fit you in for an eight man tag at School's Out, because two of you are busy already". BLONDE I'm sorry! Rolling his eyes at the apology from the every loyal Canadian, Cortez stands up. CORTEZ I didn't think you'd have a problem with it. MADDIX Well, quite clearly I do Todd. CORTEZ Look, Josie approached me about being in it because I'm the US Champion, which puts me in as a future contender for the World Title. You weren't around so I figured, why not? MADDIX And the World Title is more important to you than this, right here, us, Cucaracha Internacional? CORTEZ Honestly? Yeah. Money In The Bank worked okay for you, didn't it? Finding it hard to argue, Landon turns to Blonde. MADDIX And then when Josie came to you and said you were a top future contender, you jumped in too I suppose? BLONDE Uhm... well... yeah, that's pretty much what happened, give or take a few minor details. CORTEZ Like how you demanded to be involved when you heard I was in? BLONDE Well..... MADDIX So you specifically asked, knowing I had plans for us? BLONDE ...... MADDIX And here I thought you were the one most commited to this cause. BLONDE .......UNITY! Blurting out Landon's buzzword of the moment, Blonde's mind works overtime trying to think of a reason. BLONDE I... thought if Todd was in then I should be in too so I could watch his back... for unity. Apparantly, using the word unity worked and was enough to placate Landon, as he sits down. MADDIX Okay. Okay, I can live with that. You two work together, win the briefcase, then you've got a whole year to wait to cash in and we can go back to proving ourselves as the most dominant group in the OAOAST. In the future though, run these things by me first though, would you? This is an Internacional democracy. And, as such, I have final say. Can't just have you guys running around doing what you want, know what I mean? Todd and Blonde probably do know what Landon means, but are too busy glaring at each other behind his back to be listening. COLE A little over a week away from School's Out and the participants in the Money in the Bank ladder match have begun gearing up for that big event as the winner receives a guaranteed OAOAST Title shot. COACH And one man really looking forward to that one, even though he isn't apart of it, happens to be standing by right now with these pre-recorded comments. My good friend Theodore Moneymaker. We cut to Moneymaker in front of the Enterprise backdrop. MONEYMAKER I told everybody the OAOAST Championship would be in my possession one day. And that day will be Sunday, May 31 at School's Out. Because that night in the Big Easy another proud member of the Enterprise will go home guaranteed a shot at whoever survives the OAOAST Title match between former friends turned bitter enemies Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. That man is Spencer Reiger! BWAHAHA! New York's Finest enters the screen arm in arm with Lorelei DeCenzo. His tag team partner Colin Maguire, Jr. at his side as well. REIGER Truer words have never been spoken. It's Money in the Bank and who's the biggest cash cow in the OAOAST? The Enterprise of course. A group I'm proud to represent and will make proud when I outwit and outlast 7 other competitors in a ladder match. Grabbing the briefcase will be the hardest part in this venture to become OAOAST Champion, because like you said Teddy, whoever survives the title match between Malibu and Rodez won't have anything to stop me from bringing home the gold. And you can put that...money...in the bank. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHA~! We fade out Moneymaker's always creepy laughter BOY BAND WARFARE D*LUX SQUARES OFF TYLER BRYANT VS SHAYNE BRAVE COMING UP NEXT COMMERCIAL