Patty O'Green

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- (if you have not seen the star trek trailer then you suck and this intro will make no sense) THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA We fade on a souped up hot rod speeding down a desolate Nevada desert road. The roaring engine and the sound of the tire’s screeching provide a noisy soundtrack to the visuals of dust and dirt being flung into the air. The driver’s speed pushes 90, and behind the car is police motorcycle having a monstrously difficult time keeping up with the furious pace. The car tears through a closed gate, the driver giving no concern to the “DO NOT ENTER” sign that he sends tumbling to the ground. His failure to heed the warning proves nearly fatal as the car careens dangerously close to a canyon. With no hope of braking in time before a disastrous fall the driver leaps from the front door, reavling himself to be a teenaged boy. He rolls across the gravel and dirt, encased in a cloud of dust as his car tumbles to the abyss bellow. Barely a moment is given to him to catch his breath before a police officer, decidedly futuristic in full body armor, stands towering in front of him POLICE MAN What is your name, boy? ZACK My name is Zack Malibu! OAOAST PICTURES PRESENTS The elder, grown up Zack Malibu sits inside decrepeit, miserable jail cell, looking worn down and bruised from the fight that’s put him. Beyond the rusted steel bars, stands the perfectly dressed Anglesault. ANGLESAULT (O.S.) You’ve always had a hard time finding your place in this world. Never knowing where you belong. A rapid flashing of images of Zack in both versions of The In Crowd, The Original Elite and The Thrillogy are shown. ZACK (O.S.) Why are you talking to me? ANGLESAULT I’m challenging you to be extraordinary. You were meant for something better, something special. Riding on a motorcycle in a beautiful sunset, Zack pulls up in front of what appears to be a futuristic military base, buzzing with the yellow glow of numerous lights that rest on the domed area. In the very center of this bright shinning sphere sits a gigantic space cruiser, proudly wearing the name USS ANGLEMANIA. FROM DIRECTOR PATTY O’GREEN Various images of Bohemoth are displayed, alternating between his rampages of destruction and his more calm and collected moments as the meterosexual monster. MELODY (V.O.) You always be a child of two worlds and fully capable of deciding your own destiny. The question is which path will you chose. Early twenties versions of Bohemoth and Zack stand side by side in the OAOAST locker room, gazing out into the great unknown of their soon to be legendary careers. Fighter shuttles close rapidly on the USS Anglemania, cannon fire stitching space on all sides. Expert navigation pulls the ship through perfectly mirrored rolls, but the pursuit continues. A shuttle marked with fanciful cursive writing that reads “NEW YORK’S FINEST” swoops through the stars, crossing left to right in a steep direction. Energy flares from its cannons and shield emitters on a much larger and longer space craft explode into scrap. The blue shimmer of the bay field flickers and vanish right as the shuttle slams along the deck, sending sparks and a scream of tortured metal An arid desert planet sees a crashing space shop skidding through huge plumes of sand, as thin metallic battle droids ready to open fire on its occupant. Suddenly the canopy blows, and Krista springs from the cock pit. Battle droids open fire instantly, but miss her twirling body as she unloads a cascade of blaster fire. Zack and Bo stand face to face on the bridge of the USS Anglemania. Tensions run high between both intense competitors, as worried crewmates stand ready to break up any brawl. ZACK Are you afraid or aren’t you? BOHEMOTH I will not allow you to lecture me. ZACK Then why don’t you stop me? The outer reaches of space blaze with war. Bursts of flak from destroyed ships zoom towards a fighter shuttle manned by Reject and copiloted by ThunderKid He dodges them with the grace of a trained pilot, but his every movement is followed by the blasts of cannon fire from a shuttle piloted by Alfdogg THUNDERKID This is exciting! A menacing cyberneticly enhanced version of Mister Dick stands cloaked in a pitch black robe behind the army of battle droids that are rapidly being reduced to scrap metal by Krista’s blaster fire. The fingers of his mechanical around the grip of a blaster rifle until its casing begins to creak. PRL’s ship flashes through the space battle dodging flak and turbo laser bolts, slipping around cruisers to eclipse himself from the sensor of droid fighters. PRL YOU CAN’T EVER TAKE ME DOWN! In the engineering section of the USS Anglemania, Alfdogg whirls a shinning blue spear at Reject, who narrowly avoids with a thrust of his own spear. A massive overpowering ship named ISS ENTERIRSE is rocked by heavy fire, and rolls like a bullet from a rifled slug thrower. Several crewmen rush down the hallways led by Christian Wright, their furious pace giving credibility to the emergency signs that flash on its walls. The USS Anglemania is underfire from both a The Enterprise as well as the smoldering heat between its two officers. Zack and Bo trade enraged blows as sparks of electricity blow from control panels rocked by the powerful phaser blasts. The sole being on the ISS Enterprise bridge who isn’t strapped into a chair in crash webbing, Theodore Moneymaker, stalks from side to side, floor length cape draped over his shoulders. Krista cuts through her final droid, leaving a mountain of sizzling and crackling metal behind her triumphant stance. Feisty blue eyes fall upon Mister Dick, standing a murky terrifying tower amidst the sea of bright blues and yellows. He peels back the hood of his cloak, revealing a face that’s half covered in metal and fully shrouded by abhorrence. MISTER DICK The wait is over. The legendary anthem of “Here I Go Again” booms over the state of the art Lucas Oil Stadium. The roar of the capacity crowd overtakes arena microphones as large pillars of white and blue fireworks explode on the entrance set. In the ring a sizzling collection of red, green and white pyro shoots from a metallic Anglemania logo. Far above the heads of the crowd, the sun still beats down, only slightly lowering itself to the west. The stadium is filed with frenzied fans, shouting cheers at the top of their lungs, and holding up their signs dedicated to their OAOAST Heroes. Our "wonderful" (not my words) announce team is dressed in stylish tuxedos as they sit at sofa central that's decorated with Anglemania banners. COLE Ladies and gentlemen this is Anglemania! This is the biggest event in sports and entertainment! Welcome to Anglemania eight! Michael Cole and Johnathan Coachman here and Coach every time Anglemania rolls around I get goosebumps like its my very first show. COACH I don’t blame ya, Mikey! The world is watching, all eyes are glued to the TV for the greatest show in this galaxy. We got matches that are going to make history, and you lames at home better consider yourself lucky we let the likes of you even watch a second of this event. Lucky I don’t reach through that screen and box you out like Ali did Frasier. COLE There’s no need for that. Folks, thank you for being with is on this special night, a night that will shine on in history! Let's take it over to Maggie Nerdly for an introduction to some of tonight's card. We go backstage to... MAGGIE NERDLY MAGGIE What's up, ya'll? It Girl On The Scene chilling backstage and right behind me is the tatted up bad boy of Beantown, Collin Maguire Junior, he's getting ready for his first Anglemania appearance with Spencer Reiger against Team Heyross. But before that big match can pop off, a gigantic multi team tag team gauntlet is gonna get underway for some serious change. Some of the biggest names in tag wrestling are here for this one and my broadcast partner Tony Brannigan says it could steal the show. Guys? Back to sofa central COLE Thanks, Maggie. Really looking forward to that tag team gauntlet, and I have to think that Ned and Simon will be hoping to get their hands on Mister Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. Right now let's get to the action with a US title match pitting the champion Todd Cortez against stablemate James Blonde!

I know too much! Too much! I know the winner to almost every match because I am the smartest kid in the whole wide world and you're all just not quite as smart as me. Sorry! I have to predict the one I don't know the winner for! Alfdogg Vs Reject-I'm going with Reject upsetting the hometown boy. Goddamn you Alf for not telling all your storyline plans to me like everyone else does! PRL Vs Leon Rodez-I kinda know the winner here, but in case I was told wrong I'm going with PRL getting the win back from NR.

We return from commercial with the "main man" of the OAOAST, ANGLESAULT, standing proudly in center ring, where a table has been set up. ANGLESAULT Tonight, it is my pleasure to welcome both champion and challenger out here, the two men who will compete for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at Anglemania VIII this Sunday. Here tonight, we will have the official contract signing. Allow me to introduce at this time, the challenger...BOHEMOTH~! "LIberate" hits, and the dapper destroyer comes out, looking smooth as always. A burst of cheers comes over the crowd as the Metrosexual Monster approaches the ring, his smirk prominent as fans lunge over the railing, trying to shake a hand or pat him on the back. Bo walks up the steps and greets Anglesault with a handshake, then shakes the ropes, working the crowd into more of a frenzy. "Getting Away With Murder" replaces his song, however, and the place ERUPTS, as the World Heavyweight Champion makes his way out as well. ANGLESAULT And now, the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZACK MALIBU! Anglesault looks all too proud as his successor, The Franchise of the OAOAST, walks down the aisle, clad in a trendy pinstripe suit. Zack is the picture of confidence as he stops before he enters the ring, noticing Bo eyeing the World Title. Zack enters the ring and shakes Anglesault's hand, then Bo's, a show of civility between the two friends despite that they are just days away from being on opposite sides of the ring. The two men, on opposite sides of the table, stare each other down. Bo can't seem to take his eyes off of the gold strap thrown over Zack's shoulder. ANGLESAULT Gentleman, this Sunday night, we are going to have a bit of Anglemania deja vu. Last year, Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, you two had a bit of a race going on...a friendly competition as you both worked your way back up the ladder of contention. On that night, one year ago, it was you, Bo, who walked away the winner, and it was you Zack, who had his shoulders pinned to the canvas. Bo smiles, and Malibu solemnly nods his head, vividly recalling the defeat in his mind. ANGLESAULT Now, fast forward to this Sunday, and not everything is exactly the same. You two are still two of the top athletes in the game today, and Zack, you have once again claimed the right to call yourself OAOAST World Champion. Bo, Zack has something that you want, that you've craved since the moment you walked thru the doors of this company as nothing more than a heavy for Christian Wright. You've long had championship aspirations, but little did you know that in order to get there, you'd have to go through this man, one of your closest friends. BO Honestly, when my time came, I didn't care who I had to go through. Friend, foe, it didn't matter, and it still doesn't. Defeating you for that belt Zack isn't going to change anything. I'm still going to respect you, I'm still going to go over to you and shake your hand when it's all said and done. There's no bitterness, no resentment, nothing except an opportunity that has presented itself to me. The past few months have seen a bit of turmoil and tragedy, and The In Crowd hasn't been the same due to it. You beat Leon, which is something that you never thought you'd have to do. You were in my position just a few months ago, Zack. You know what it's like. But in our business, friendship or not, you have to pick your spots, take your chances, and roll the dice. I have been training. I've been studying tapes that go back to when GreenMist and Mario Logan were relevant. I'm not saying that I've gotten you totally figured out, Zack, I'm just saying that I feel it in my heart that I can beat you Sunday night. Conversations grow throughout the crowd, as Bo has made a profound statement against his opponent, who now looks to respond. MALIBU Bo, you are a hell of a talent. And as far as walking through the doors as Christian Wright's heavy, you've come a long way since then. You've grown to respect this place, and more importantly, this belt. You don't want this belt for any reason other than to prove yourself. Money, power, none of that matters to you. It's just that you want to show the world that you are what you say you are. That you are capable, and that you are deserving of bearing the torch of this company as its leader. Now, its a fact that you beat me last year. Its a fact that you won our little series, and went on a tear. You've made quite the name for yourself in the OAOAST, and 2008 and 2009 thus far have only furthered that sentiment. I'm priveleged to be defending against a deserving talent such as yourself at Anglemania this year, but I'm also a little sad. I'm sad that as a friend, I won't get to see you live out your dream. I'm sad that I have to be the one to break your heart and spirit. I'm sad to tell you that you will NOT be leaving Anglemania with my belt! More buzzing in the crowd, as tensions mount. BO I like that confidence, Zack. But maybe its not my dream that's going to be shattered on Sunday. MALIBU Looks like the confidence is an epidemic. That's a good thing, because don't doubt yourself for a second. You are one of the best I've ever seen, and one of the best this company has ever had. At Anglemania though, I'm going to be just *thatmuch* better than you. BO For the sake of your title reign, Zack, I wish you well with that. Bring your best. You just better hope its good enough. With that, Bo signs the contract, and slides it over to Zack, who leans over and signs as well. The two men lock eyes again, and then a handshake seals the deal, as Anglesault takes the contract. ANGLESAULT Ladies and gentlemen, your Anglemania main event! Zack Malibu, Bohemoth, the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE ON THE LINE! Zack's theme music hits, and Bo eyes him as he goes up on the ropes and raises the belt over his head, working the crowd into a frenzy as he salutes them all. COLE Could this be the last time that Zack Malibu celebrates with that championship here on HeldDOWN~! And could the outcome of Anglemania tear this friendship apart? We'll get those questions answered on Sunday night, when the OAOAST brings you Anglemania VIII, LIVE on Pay Per View~! FADE OUT

BOLDLY GOING WHERE NO ANGLEMANIA HAS GONE BEFORE TO INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA OAOAST WORLD TITLE: ZACK MALIBU VS BOHEMOTH III KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK WITH SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE LINDSAY LOHAN ALFDOGG VS REJECT PRL VS LEON RODEZ UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: TODD CORTEZ VS JAMES BLONDE WITH SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE LANDON MADDIX OAOAST TAG TITLES: LDC $MONEYGANG$ VS TEAM HEYROSS MORGAN NERDLY VS JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN 12 TEAM TAG TEAM GAUNTLET

"Renegade" by Jay-Z and Eminem hits and to boos, the fighting fit form of Melissa Nerdly punches out clad in boxing gear ready for Women's Title competition. Melissa throws some shadow punches, before pointing one of her boxing gloves to the entrance. Heralding the arrival of celebrity Deadly Alliance member LINDSAY LOHAN, to the clear surprise of the crowd! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and it is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, now hailing from The Bronx. She represents The Deadly Alliance and is your challenger for the evening... ladies and gentlemen... MMMEEEELLLLLLLLIIIIIISSSSAAAAAAAAA... NNEEEEERRRRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Earlier today we caught up to get some comments from Melissa and... Lindsay Lohan of all people! OAOAST A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. In front of the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! backdrop stands Melissa and her new Hollywood friend. The murmurs off camera indicate there's a lot of security and/or reporters around. MELISSA Jade Rodez-Duncan. We finally meet. Ever since Josie Baker kindly granted me this title shot, I've been waiting, anticipating this match with baited breath. Everybody in this company makes you out as the sweet, wholesome girl next door atop the women's division. And who knows, maybe you are. But you're also guilty by association. Guilty of your family messing around with my sisters' miserable lives. And guilty of showing disrespect to my friend here, Lindsay Lohan. Melissa wraps an arm around Lindsay, who reciprocates. MELISSA Tonight I can't wait to gain some retribution. Not for my family, but for my wronged friend. First you tonight, then your mother on Sunday at the hands of Mister Dick. I guess it's true what they say, you can't choose your family... and you can't choose who beats you to a pulp thanks to them either! Melissa laughs, still wrapped up with Lindsay. HELDDOWN~! COACH Say, Lindsay's into girls now, right? COLE So I'm told. COACH I see. You okay calling this one on your own? COLE Feel free to jump in when you're done. I'm sure the match'll still be going. As Melissa warms up in the ring Lindsay is guided to her seat next to Michael Buffer's at the timekeeper's table, where there's plenty of security. Lindsay looks over her shoulder at the crowd before catching a thumbs up from Melissa and returning it with a smile. COLE I guess these two are 'BFFs' ever since that defamation job of an interview they did last week. COACH Put it this way, I bet Melissa's a better friend than Krista ever was. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, to a roar from the crowd. Energetically pushing through the entrance way Jade punches her fists to the crowd, showing off the Women's Title around her waist. Spotting a sign in the crowd professing true love for her she smiles and waves in that direction, clearly well trained in P.R. matters nowadays. That's public relations, by the way, not the guy. BUFFER And her opponent, now residing in Los Angeles, California! The second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is the reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jade slides herself into the ring under the bottom rope, a wary eye on Melissa as she climbs the turnbuckles and unbuckles the Women's Title belt. COLE One of the most popular personalities in all of the OAOAST, Jade Rodez-Duncan! Women's Champion of seven months and counting and you can tell, she couldn't be happier right now. Jumping from the turnbuckles, Jade hands away her Women's Title to referee Charles Robinson. Most of the attention seems to be on Lindsay though, who waves as she's pestered for photos by nearby fans. COLE Oh yeah, she's not spotlight obsessed in the slightest. It's all the media's fault, all people like Krista. COACH Exactly! She's just an ordinary girl caught up in other people's drama. COLE Then why's she even here tonight? The live crowd and TV cameras are just a coincidence? COACH A bangable Hollywood superstar is willingly showing up, gracing us with her presence for a pro wrestling show featuring such luminary showbiz figures as Biff Atlas and you're COMPLAINING!? The hell's wrong with you!? *DINGDINGDING!* In the midst of all this the bell sounds and a wrestling match has started. Which some people in the crowd decide they should take notice of. COLE So Jade and Melissa, Women's Title on the line. Jade and Melissa lock up, the champion quickly taking her challenger to the mat with a side headlock takeover. Not the most well-versed wrestler Melissa finds herself stuck for an escape and throws a little fit at being taken down. She does figure it out eventually, reaching up and grabbing Jade's blond hair and using it to pull her over... 1... 2... No! Back in control Jade complains about the hairpull, but gets caught by the same trick... 1... 2... No! Referee Robinson begins to get suspicious and warns Melissa, who gets back to her feet. Melissa manages to shove Jade off of her, but makes the mistake of relaxing, not expecting Jade to come back off the ropes with a shoulder knockdown. Hitting the ropes again Jade goes up and over a dropdown. Melissa rushes to her feet and sets herself looking to strike. Jade ducks underneath a spinning wheel kick though, booting Melissa as she whirls around and delivering a vertical suplex! Cover... 1... 2... No! As soon as she's out of the pin, Melissa rolls for the safety of the arena floor nursing her back. COLE Melissa out to the floor and Lindsay Lohan looks worried. COACH What's that supposed to mean? COLE Well, nothing, I ju... COACH Worried how? Nervous worried? Panic worried? Financially worried? That's slander pal, watch your mouth. Melissa takes her time on the outside, making sure to let Lindsay know that she's okay. Eventually Melissa re-enters the ring and Jade's hesitance to go after her costs the Women's Champion, as Melissa lies in wait to deliver a punch to the stomach. Turning Jade up against the turnbuckles, Melissa uses the top rope for leverage as she delivers a couple of roundhouse kicks to the ribs, then places her boot against Jade's windpipe! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Breaking, Melissa whips Jade across the ring. She follows in looking for a corner clothesline, but Jade kicks her feet up to block. Melissa is left favouring her arm as Jade goes to the middle rope. Before she can attack, Jade's foot is grabbed by Melissa and she's VIOLENTLY pulled from the ropes!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Melissa tries to capitalise with a pin... 1... 2... NO! COLE Jade landed very awkwardly there and this could be the opening for Melissa. Pulling Jade back up, Melissa rams her back into the turnbuckles. And drives the shoulder in again. Jade sinks to one knee and Melissa measures her, delivering a kick to the chest. COACH Looks like Linds is enjoying herself now. Jade falls to the side as Melissa stands on the back, pinning her throat against the bottom rope. COACH Oh yeah! She's really gotta be enjoying this! COLE Did you just call her 'Linds' a minute ago? I knew she was associating with some strange characters recently, I didn't realise you were one of them. After breaking before five again Melissa tries to defuse the situation with the referee. Melissa then turns and plays to the crowd with the match well in hand. Lindsay applauds her friend from her ringside seat, time even for Melissa to strike up conversation with the Hollywood wildchild. However, help is at hand for Jade. From the unusual source of MORGAN NERDLY, who has run to the ring and beats on the apron shouting words of encouragement for Jade. COLE Well, this is rather odd. Morgan out here cheering on Jade? COACH Yeah, what's up with that. Melissa turns away from Lindsay and is strikingly surprised at the sight of her unstable sister's appearance. So much so, she keeps herself out of arms reach as she grabs Jade, dragging her away into the middle of the ring. Scoop and a slam plants Jade, Melissa off the ropes with a legdrop and covering... 1.. 2... No! Slowly Melissa picks Jade up, half an eye on Morgan all the time. COLE I don't really know what to make of Morgan's presence here at ringside and it seems neither can her sister. Clearly distracted, Melissa scoops and slams Jade again nearer to a corner. She scales to the middle rope and prepares to drop a big elbow, but Morgan suddenly runs around the ring towards her older sister. That stops Melissa, long enough for Jade to get back up and elbow her in the gut. Reaching up, Jade then pulls Melissa off the turnbuckles, sitting out with the Iconoclasm! COLE Californication from Jade, thanks to Morgan. COACH I think this nut still thinks her and Jade are friends! Hook of the leg from Jade... 1... 2... NO! "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" Both girls fight to their feet, with Morgan joining in on the crowd's chant. COLE Looks like the Women's Champion is beginning to feed off of this positive energy. Back up, Melissa swings at Jade with a right hand. Jade ducks and paws the challenger with an open left hand. And then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Melissa down with a big clothesline! COLE Exclusive: Rich Little Blonde Girl Kicks Ass! A boot to the gut awaits Melissa when she gets back up, setting her in place. Jade applies a cobra clutch, looking to put her challenger across the knee for the backbreaker. However Melissa manages to run Jade backwards, driving her into the turnbuckles! Sandwiched in, Jade is winded and suffers further from Melissa ramming her backwards three more times in quick succession. Melissa breaks away to hit the ropes, charging at Jade who staggers out from the turnbuckles. Melissa lunges looking for a Spear... but Jade surprises everyone by ducking out of the way! And Melissa faceplants off the canvas. COACH Don't look Lindsay! Grabbing the ropes to pull herself up, Melissa finds herself face to face with Morgan... ...a momentary distraction, enough for Jade to grab the back of the head and pull Morgan down with the reverse x-factor! COLE That's gonna do it! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JJAAAAADDEEEEE RROOOODDEEEEZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAANNNNN!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Jade's hand is raised in victory... ...but her celebration is short-lived, as Melissa attacks from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now there's no call for that! A vengeful Melissa starts to put the boots to Jade, but only gets in two full shots before freezing at the sight of Morgan in front of her! Eyes widening, Melissa falls onto her BUTT and scrambles out of the ring as fast as possible, frantically waving for security to get Lindsay the hell out of the vicinity. Morgan watches on with steely eyes. COLE Boy, Melissa wanted no part of Morgan. And I guess Lindsay Lohan will have to wait until this Sunday to get her revenge on Krista, maybe. COACH Yeah, but Jade might not be around to see it. In the ring Jade starts to get to her feet, thanking Morgan for her help. However Morgan offers no real assistance to her friend. Infact, there's a strangely cold look in her eyes as Jade gets up in front of her. COLE I don't like the looks of this. Neither does Jade, clearly worried about what's going on. It's at this point though that Morgan's face begins to sink, from stoicism to sadness. Jade looks around, still a little nervous, as Morgan's head hangs. COLE Morgan... clearly rather troubled. Seeing young Morgan like this Jade begins to soften and places a comforting hand on Morgan's shoulder. The words "I'm sorry" can be heard muttered low under Morgan's breath as Jade continues to check if she's okay. Which she clearly isn't. So Jade loses all of her reservations, stepping forward and giving a hug to her friend. That's when Morgan starts to adjust her sleeve. *bzzt* Low, but audible, a jolt. Jade's body suddenly spasms and to shrieks of horror, she hits the mat. Her arms clutch at her midsection and she curls up into a ball. COLE Oh god... As Jade lays on the mat, boos ring out. But then turn to an uncomfortable silence at the sight of Jade writhing in pain and moaning, crying in pain. Morgan's head begins to rise and with tears welling up in her eyes she stares at the fallen Women's Champion, before falling to one knee. MORGAN What did I do? WHAT DID I DO!? YOU MADE ME DO THIS!!!! Morgan falls into a seated position and starts tugging at her own hair, before wrapping her arms around herself, as if hugging herself. Inches away Jade starts to cough and splutter, an unsettling sight which draws a group of referees from backstage. Four of them, all entering the ring but clearly wary of getting too close to Morgan and encouraging her to calm down. Morgan stands up and eyes the referees, no longer crying, instead trying to explain herself, repeating that "she made me do it". Meanwhile Jade continues coughing, clearly in a seriously bad way. Thankfully, Morgan ducks through the ropes at this point and leaves the ring at this point. Immediately the referees swarm to Jade and EMTs rush a stretcher to the ring, right past Morgan who backs slowly up the aisle watching this unfold. MORGAN I'm sorry... I'm sorry... The EMTs kneel at Jade's side and an oxygen mask is placed over her face, still clammed up in a ball and clutching her midsection. *COMMERCIAL BREAK* We return to Sofa Central, a very serious Sofa Central with Michael Cole and Coach both wearing worried expressions. COLE Uhm... welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and very... unsettling scenes we just witnessed. During the break, Jade was treated by EMTs in the ring after... what we suspect was an attack, as we've seen before from Morgan Nerdly, with some kind of electrical device. Uhh... we don't have any word as of yet as to Jade's condition and we don't plan on showing you any footage of what occured during the break, because it was not comfortable viewing... many OAOAST superstars such as Jade's friends Tyler Bryant and Shayne Brave as well as Bohemoth were out here and it was clear to all that Jade was in serious pain, which is self-evident I suppose. We'll try and get you an update as soon as we possibly can but all we know is that she's been taken to a local medical facility to be checked out and we... we move on with the show, if we can.

COLE Welcome back folks, I am currently on satellite feed with The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, who have been MIA, totally against company orders for two weeks. We’ve finally caught up with them in this can’t be right… Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom Oh its right, Mister Cole. RICO DE JANERIO LUCIUS SOUL and QUEEN ESTHER Really do reside in the throne room of the world famous castle. COLE Before security kicks them out and confiscates their passports we ought to begin. Lucius, Rico, Queen Esther- QUEEN ESTHER (seeing the monitor for the first time) The magic mirror is talking! Hello, Magic Mirror, hello! RICO That ain’t a magic mirror, chica, that’s bitch tits Mikey Cole. Watchu want with the Hellfire Club, mang? COLE Firstly where have you been these past couple weeks? Rico gets squashed by Zack and you all disappear- RICO I didn’t get squashed, mang. It ain’t nothing like that. My mother in Brazil she is very sick, she has the chicken’s spots, and I look after her that week, I nurse her to health because my porn stache has healing properties. SOUL Like Jesus and shit. RICO Yes, like Jesus. But when I’m in village, the peoples come from land near and far to touch my pornstache to bring good luck to the crops and the farmers. I am holy symbol in my country I am the santo cross to the little children, they cut the hair of their dogs and they tape it to their face and they I am Rico I am Rico! By time I get back to USA, mang, I am doug tired. SOUL Dog tired. RICO Doug tired, that’s what I say. Zack had easy time with me, because he does not have sick mother, he is not hero in his village like the superman clark kent. He is just normal man. QUEEN ESTHER What other questions do you have for us magic mirror? COLE That still doesn’t explain why you just up and disappeared. SOUL We don’t gotta explain shit to you, cousin. A pimps gonna do how a pimps gonna do. A pimps gonna screw who a pimps gonna screw. We been gone on vacation, doin trill g shit, because there ain’t no reason for us to be around. You give us a reason to show and we finna show. You don’t and we keeping our ass out the way. We ain’t doin no dark matches against the All American Boys. I’m a pimp of the year, Rico’s a hero in his village, and red over there is a queen, we show up when we wanna show up. Dig on that? COLE When might you feel like showing up again? QUEEN ESTHER You are a nosy magic mirror! Our vacation has been fantastic, we’ve seen so many things, talked to so many people, and Rico was only arrested twice in Paris. But we recently got an invitation to the grandest ball of them all Anglemania! Can you imagine it? All the artistocracy dancing their cares away under the moonlit sky, princes and princesses finding true love. It will be magic! COLE I don’t know what Anglemania you’ve been watching, but the one I’ve been going to I get puked on by at least 5 drunk inbreds a night! RICO We got the business to do there, mang. Tag team gauntlet, twelve teams, mang. Twelve victims for the Hellfire Club. Heavenly Rockers, D*LUX, Last Kings, Citizen Soldier, count them out, mang, we’re goin to break em nice and good. Clean sweep all way through for the Hellfire Club. Bring out the drumstick! COLE The what? QUEEN ESTHER I don’t even understand why we have to have this match. There’s much more exciting things to do in Indiapolis, that aren’t nearly as violent. SOUL This pimp ain’t trynna get him the hillybilly hoosier strain of HIV, now. QUEEN ESTHER But there’s a lot to do! Things I feel would be more interesting for the others in the match. There’s yellow rose horse carriages- RICO Hey, mang, Logan Man would like that, cause his old lady she look like a horse. SOUL I run that bitch to 5th place in the Preakness! QUEEN ESTHER They could even go balloon riding over the beautiful Indiana sunset! SOUL I heard that fool Baron Windells so stupid his ass tried to make balloon animals out of a Trojan Magnum! QUEEN ESTHER And guess what else they have? Chocolate! The Chocolate: The Exhibition as a matter of factor. It's chock-full of Indiana-made chocolates, including more unusual finds like tea-flavored, bacon-flavored, RICO Say no more, princess, Christian Wright already spendin’ time crusin’ down Moneymaker Hershey Highway! QUEEN ESTHER The Lego castle of adventure looks like a bunch of fun! SOUL That midget Shayne Brave ain’t even big enough to ride no rides! Ain’t nothin’ more that needs to be said than that. We gots a vakizzle to get tizzle. Smell me? QUEEN ESTHER Bye, magic mirror! COMMERCIAL

We return to live action with former world champion Tony Brannigan standing in the center of the ring. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time, opponents this Sunday at AngleMania VIII in Indianapolis... the member of Cucaracha Internacional! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "The Church Of Hot Addiction hits, perhaps concessions made to James Blonde, who leads the way with Faqu close by and Landon Maddix, leader close behind. Next comes the grumpier Megan and Nathaniel Black. And behind them the only one to get a positive reaction on his way to the stage, US Champion Todd Cortez. The group assemble, Landon grinning to himself, apparantly oblivious to the cold looks going on behind him from Blonde to Cortez, Cortez to Blonde, Black to... everyone. BRANNIGAN Landon, we're just a couple of night away from AngleMania now. And the question still on everyone's lips when it comes to you guys, simply, why are you allowing the in-fighting we're seeing recently? A couple of weeks ago it was Blonde versus Black. That to determine who faces Cortez on Sunday. All Cucaracha Internacional fighting each other. That can't be smart, surely? MADDIX It can and it is, Tony Brannigan. See, this Sunday, all eyes will be on us. Cucaracha Internacional versus Cucaracha Internacional? Who gets the plaudits? Who gets the recognition out of that? Here's a clue, it's not The Burrough Boys. You've got James Blonde. Perking up, James is pointed to by Landon. MADDIX Athletic. Charismatic. The most stylish and most trendsettingest man in the OAOAST. And then you've got Todd Cortez... Quite liking hearing his boss list his good qualities, Blonde looks ever so slightly put-out when Landon turns around to his other protege. MADDIX He's battle tested, hard hitting, tough as they come. A little tempremental, granted, but that's okay. Cortez and Blonde resume glares once Landon turns back to the cameras he so loves. MADDIX These are the two men who go one on one for the United States Championship. Or, should that be, 'Internacional' Championship. See, what's the common denominator in all of this? I am! It's all about Cucaracha Internacional. This Sunday, the entire OAOAST world will be watching two great athletes going at it and remarking "wow, these Cucaracha Internacional guys are good". And at the end, the United States Title will stay in camp. It's the very definition of win-win! BRANNIGAN That's all well and good for Sunday night, but surely you can't pit two of your men against each other without causing a little friction in the camp? MADDIX We're all competitive men. That's a given. Nothing wrong with a little internal competition if it improves our external competition. BRANNIGAN So you're not at all worried that this Sunday, far from displaying Cucaracha Internacional to the world, you could end up destroying it? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" The fans like that idea, to Landon's annoyance. MADDIX So long as nobody stirs the pot, I don't see why that should be. I've spoken to both Todd and James in private and they've both assured me or their motives and their commitment to Cucaracha Internacional and that the key to it all is competition. BRANNIGAN And you believe them? MADDIX ...why shouldn't I!? BRANNIGAN Oh, no reason. Suddenly taking a step forward, Blonde whispers something in Landon's ear and gets shrugged off. MADDIX I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it. BRANNIGAN Getting to what exactly? Something you need to get off your chest? MADDIX Like I said, I'm getting to it. Wanting to know what's up, Cortez takes a step closer in. BRANNIGAN Maybe we should cut to the chase? MADDIX We will cut to the chase, seeing as you're so impatient and you've got more of your conspiracy theories to get through. See, you ask about whether there's going to be any friction caused? There's not. I can guarantee that. And the reason I can guarantee it is that James, a couple of days ago, helpfully suggested something. And that is that the best way to maintain order is for me to be out there in the ring this Sunday as the special guest referee. Cortez doesn't see best pleased with this, especially when he sees the smile creeping onto James Blonde's face out of sight of Landon. MADDIX And Todd, I was going to clear this with you but I couldn't get hold of you, but here it is. I'll be out there incase the competition gets a little too hot... although, I really don't see as that's an issue anyway. It's going to be a public display, a marquee of competition this Sunday and the real reason I want to be out there in the ring is to soak the atmosphere and experience in for myself, as Cucaracha Internacional steal the show! With Blonde continuing to grin away in the background, Todd looks around... before beginning to smile himself. And that's enough to worry James. BRANNIGAN Okay, there you have it, Landon Maddix to be the special referee this Sunday at AngleMania for the battle of Cucaracha Internacional, over the US Title. Michael, Coach, back to you. Cortez leads the way off to the back with the rest close behind, all except James who hangs back looking suitably worried about why Todd seemed so happy about the announcement. COMMERCIAL

THE TAG TEAM DIVISION IS BOLDLY GOING TO ANGLEMANIA When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light we'll see Sliding out of the ring double-quick, MARV and MEL embrace on the outside in celebration. No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid Just as long as you stand, stand by me A big smile adorns Logan Mann's face, playing some killer air guitar before pulling in wife Holly for a hug as she sneers at the camera. Behind them Synth is coached by his spiritual advisor, scourge of the family of many scourges, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. V.I.C.E. raise their hands in victory outside. And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh now now stand by me Stand by me, stand by me Rico laughs and strokes away at his moustache, while Lucius fixes up his fro Back in slides Pigley and The Love Doctors embrace in celebration If the sky that we look upon Should tumble and fall And the mountains should crumble to the sea I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear Just as long as you stand, stand by me Ned and Simon exchange high fives with each other and soon receive a joyful hug from Molly Danny Boy leaps on Scott's back, a fantastic celebration for the fantastic upset they've somehow managed to pull off And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh stand by me Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me-e, yeah Standing tall and victorious after a hard fought contest, the boys of D*LUX celebrate with a BROTHERLY FIST POUND! In celebration of actually getting his finisher off Vinny breaks out his best Saturday Night Fever moves, while Biff stands behind imploring him to think of the damage dancing does to one's ankles. Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me, oh now now stand by me Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me Forgetting his aversion to anything even possibly homosexual, an elated Moneymaker tosses himself into the waiting arms of CW and together they bask in this monumentus occasion Darlin', darlin', stand by me-e, stand by me Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me 12 MAN TAG TEAM GAUNTLET THIS SUNDAY AT ANGLEMANIA

"The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats plays through the arena as we go back to ringside. Squeezing his way through the entrance, Biff Atlas is almost unrecognisable behind a protective foam rubber suit, over which rests a bulletproof vest, and a blue football helmet. I say almost unrecognisable, because his one recognisable feature is the fear in his eyes. COLE Biff Atlas on the way to the ring for singles action here on HeldDOWN~!... slowly, but surely. Watching his every step with a keen eye Biff reaches ringside in one piece, to his upmost relief. He slowly starts to make his way up the ring steps, which proves an uphill task (literally) with his legs cased in foam. COLE While we've got this delay, we'd like to take another chance to remind everyone AngleMania VIII is live on Pay Per View this Sunday night from Indianapolis, Indiana. And added to that historic card, a special tag team battle royal for **BATTLE ROYAL PRIZE** . Featuring such standout teams as The Heavenly Rockers, The Citizen Soldiers, VICE... and Panic At The Disco. COACH I dread to think how long it'll take Biff to walk to the ring on Sunday. COLE If he even has the guts to. Finally Biff is on the apron and after some more commotion getting through the ropes, he's made it into the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIFFFFFFF AAAAAAATTLLLLLLAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Biff starts to climb the turnbuckles, making it only to the bottom rope before realising the danger he's in. So he settles for raising his arms while standing on the safe ring mat. BUFFER And his opponent hails from The Hearts of the American People... accompanied by Freedom... he represents The All American Boys... LLIIIIIIIBBEEEEERRRRRRRTTYYYYYY!! As a patriotic cheer goes up for the All Americans, they jump into the middle of the ring and set off red and blue party poppers. COACH Well that was hardly 4th of July, was it? In the corner, Biff goes rigid and clutches his chest. *DINGDINGDING!* Freedom and Liberty high-five before Freedom leaves the ring. As Liberty turns away from playing to the fans, he sees Biff staggering towards him and then falling to his knees. Biff tries to pantomime to the referee that he can't breath, but wearing a football helmet doesn't help with communication. COLE I think those pops might have scared poor Biff. Shrugging his shoulders, Liberty jumps at Biff, cradling him up with a crucifix pin from his knees... COLE Wait a minute! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE I don't believe it! In a matter of SECONDS, Biff Atlas has been pinned! COACH This isn't right! The crowd cheer again, only seconds after having settled after the introductions. Freedom jumps into the ring and celebrates with his partner, as Biff flails around pathetically on the mat. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... LLIIIIIIIBBEEEEERRRRRTTYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That may be one of the quickest matches in HeldDOWN~! history! And without question the quickest victory of Liberty's career! COACH That's because Liberty never wins in his weak-ass career! And the only reason he won tonight is because they brought illegal fireworks into the ring to frighten Biff, leaving him unable to defend himself! A travesty of justice! And to think, these two call themselves real Americans! COLE Illegal fireworks!? Are you kidding me? If he wasn't wearing that ridiculous suit, he probably would have kicked out, he was weighed down under foam rubber! Since the match was so short, a replay shows exactly what happened, Biff stricken at the sound of the small pops from the plastic party toys. COLE Apparantly there's nothing wrong with Biff's hearing, if that's what scared him. COACH He had his back to them Michael, he could have thought it was the muffled sound of gunfire. As Liberty and Freedom leave celebrating, Biff is tended to in the ring by EMTs. His gasps for air are panicked, even more so when one of the EMTs touches him, fearing he's under attack. COLE In a life filled with low points, this is low even for Biff Atlas. Brilliant way to lead into Anglemania, Mister Atlas. Folks, stay tuned for more competent superstars! COMMERCIAL

COLE Last weekend, a public media appearance ahead of AngleMania VIII went somewhat unaccording to plan. Opponents Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican were booked to appear at the same Q&A session in Indianapolis, ahead of their 'friendly competition' this Sunday. However, maybe we spoke too soon. ~~~~~~ Footage suddenly cuts in of the aforementioned Q&A session. On the stage stand a row of tables, behind which sit OAOAST superstars The Heavenly Rockers and Abdullah Abir Nerdly, PRL, Leon, Tyler Bryant and The Christ Air Express. Perhaps not the best seating arrangement as despite being next to each other, there's a clear division between PRL and Leon. MEDIATOR Okay, your question, the guy in the second row. LOYAL OAOAST MARK Uhm, yeah... my question is for Leon? Are you disappointed at all at facing Tha Puerto Rican instead of facing Bohemoth? Nervous laughter starts up at the question. Maybe not so nervous from Logan Mann. LEON That's an 'interesting' question, shall we say. Am I disappointed at wrestling PRL? Not at all. I'm looking forward to it infact. What's done is done as far as the World Title goes. I'm concentrating on this Sunday facing Tha Puerto Rican and hopefully my fans can concentrate on that too, instead of all the "what ifs" and "if onlys" I keep hearing. LOYAL OAOAST MARK Okay and, uh, who do you think'll win between Bohemoth and Zack. The loyal and slightly irritating by now OAOAST Mark gets a long look from Leon. THA PUERTO RICAN You want me to field this one? LEON No, I'm good. I'm sure they'll have a great match. Just like me and PRL. Not my place to predict who's going to win. MEDITATOR Okay next question. RARE FEMALE OAOAST MARK Hi, my question's also for Leon as well. Do you feel like there's any more animosity between you and PRL now that he's dating Maggie and also, if you're looking to make him jealous then, you know... The young woman's jokey question gets a laugh from all involved. At first. PRL I'm gonna chime in here if that's okay with you man. LEON Oh, feel free. PRL Look, the fact is people are making a big deal about me and Maggie and the history with Leon. None of that matters. All that matters is that this Sunday at Lucas Oil Stadium, in front of the thousands of OAOAST fans and the MILLIONS watching on PPV, me and Leon will tear the house down! Man to man, former World Champion to former World Champion. And it's gonna be great. LEON Exactly. None of it matters. Hell, I only found out by mistake, so if not for that it REALLY wouldn't matter, but that's besides the point... PRL Do we have to go there? Really? LEON What? No, no, I'm just saying that you and her has no reflection on what'll happen at AngleMania. Wrestling is wrestling and personal issues are personal issues. You have to learn to seperate these things in this business sometimes. It's not about revenge for me, or anything stupid like that. To me, it's going to be as if it never happened. Clearly Maggie doesn't care about the past, I don't care about the past, we move on and that's that. PRL stares at Leon through this, sure that his AngleMania opponent is taking a bit of a dig at him but not certain enough to say anything. LEON Any more questions? ANOTHER OAOAST MARK Yeah, I wanted to ask... are you two really friends? I mean, a few months ago PRL was calling you a joke, I bet deep down there's still a little bit of animosity there really, no? LEON We'll never be best friends, that's for sure. PRL See, since November we've gained a lot of mutual respect for one another. Not friendship. But respect. What's in the past is in the past. LEON Or, so I keep hearing. Stopped in his tracks, PRL has finally had enough and stands up. PRL Excuse me? If you've got something to say then just come right out and say it! LEON (still sat down) I don't know what you're talki... PRL You and Maggie broke up MONTHS ago! MONTHS ago! And the way I remember it, you weren't too bothered about it at the time, since you were so busy chasing more Nerdly tail. So if you've suddenly got a problem with her dating Tha Puerto Rican, like you seem to, how about you quit taking digs at me and say it to my face! Leon stands up and that alerts the other OAOAST wrestlers, but he's quickly calming everyone down. LEON Look, I didn't mean anything by it. PRL Oh no? LEON No. I didn't. PRL doesn't seem to believe Leon, until he's offered a handshake and an apology. Determined to keep things civil PRL accepts. But the civility doesn't last and soon the two are eye to eye. PRL What's the matter Leon? Huh? LEON This Sunday, I plan on wiping that smug look off of your face. PRL Oh really? Well, how about I wipe that pathetic little sad expression off of yours! To the shock of the crowd and the rest of the OAOAST 'panellists, PRL PIEFACES LEON! Taking exception Leon lunges at PRL and soon they're going at it on the stage, slinging punches on the ground as the rest of the OAOAST wrestlers attempt to pull them apart. ~~~~~~~~ COLE That was last weekend and OAOAST President Josie Baker has suspended both men until AngleMania, determined not to let this get out of hand before then. So much for the 'friendly competition', eh Coach? COACH I knew it wouldn't last. Even before Maggie got involved. Throw a hot girl in the middle and it was only a matter of time. Let's hope they tear each other apart Sunday. Maggie, I'm'a waitin' for ya! COLE There's nothing healthy about delusional thinking COMMERCIAL

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- COLE Folks HeldDOWN~! is on the air just days before the biggest event in sports and entertainment, Anglemania! Hello, everybody I'm Michael Cole joined at sofa central with the one and only Coach Johnathan Coachman! Coach, we have a red hot show tonight, don't we? COACH I used the script as a napkin for my spare ribs, so I wouldn't know anything about that. The Last Kings of Scotland, wearing leather jackets and blue and white kilts, march ringside under dark blue and white lights to the tune of “Protect Your Mind” by DJ Sakin & Friends. OAOAST Marks along the aisle and front row on high alert as Scottish Scott wildly swings his spiked club. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Europe’s finest athletes, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds… DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The proud Scotsman raises his club with one hand and pounds his chest with the other while his partner sings "Danny Boy". COLE Oh, brother. COACH No, it’s “Oh Danny Boy,” you idiot. COLE I’m referring to Danny Boy’s singing, or what he calls singing. Thankfully our ears are spared further torture as “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down hits. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Peoria, Illinois, wrestling’s last real good guy… TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH! His tag team partner, hailing from San Antonio, Texas… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS! Collectively they are CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Needless to say, Baron Windels and Tim Cash do a lot of hand slapping on their jog down the aisle. COLE We’re about set to go with a strange one. I say that because the Last Kings of Scotland claim Citizen Soldiers stuck their nose where it didn’t belong one week ago in their match against the Orange County Cobras. COACH Well they’ve got a point. It got them disqualified. COLE Yes, they lost by DQ, but it was because of V.I.C.E. And thanks to them Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard have been put on the shelf. COACH They can use the break, like say forever! Off comes both team’s respective entrance attire and the bell sounds. * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels receives a quick high-five from Tim Cash as Scottish Scott places his club in the LKOS corner, but it‘s Danny Boy who‘ll start for his team. That out of the way the two lockup and the Lone Star Gunslinger is easily able to execute a body slam, and then another. Danny rushes to his feet and into a BIG BOOT that knocks him backwards! COLE Danny Boy wandering around like he’s had a few too many after that one. COACH Oh yeah, because all Irishman are drunks, right? You probably think I like watermelon and fried chicken too. Well I do. But you’re racist for thinking it! Dazed and confused Danny Boy tags out. And his replacement Scottish Scott wants Tim Cash and gets him. Of course Timmy offers to shake hands. Scott thinks it over, spits on the palm of his hand and then goes through with the handshake. TIM That wasn’t very nice. SCOTTISH SCOTT You know what else isn’t nice? Apparently a kick to the gut, that‘s what. The fighting Scotsman clubs Tim across the shoulders and shoots him off. Cash ducks a clothesline and scores with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK! Scott tumbles outside while oh Danny Boy comes in to pickup the load, but gets thrown like a sack of potatoes by a hip toss. The Irishman finds himself in the wrong side of town and Baron Windels unloads with a Cowboy Bebop (bionic) elbow! COACH Come on, referee. Do your job. It’s 2 on 1. Tim arm drags Danny Boy back where he came from, and then dropkicks him over the top rope. But when he goes to bring Scottish Scott back in he takes a SPIKED CLUB to the face! COLE Can you believe that?! COACH Accidents happen. It’s not Scotty’s fault Tim Cash is so clumsy he fell into a spiked club. Unfortunately Baron Windels didn’t see Tim get clubbed, only him falling back. Shocked he’s slow to react as Tim, now busted open, is covered. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * Baron dives on Scottish Scott but is obviously too late. BUFFER Here are your winners… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Last Kings immediately seek higher ground, hands raised in victory thanks to Scottish Scott’s spiked club which he proudly displays for all to see. Baron Windels left kneeling over his fallen partner. COACH A hard earned win for the Last Kings of Scotland. COLE Hard earned win? They stole one! COACH Quit being a sore loser, Cole. Citizen Soldiers lost. Accept it. COLE I promise you there’ll be hell to pay if these two teams ever meet up again.

Lonely I'm Mr Lonely, I have nobody, For my owwnnn I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely I have nobody, For my owwnnn I'm so lonely,

lol4realz 4 the few of us that actually still visit this board (me and tony) this show may go up tomorrow. What board it goes at first, who knows?! lol ghost town. Tony and KC we should do a storyline where TSM networks downfall to rating irrelevancy bankrupts Teddy or he tries to sell it and his sale falls through because the person buying was caught with a tranny hooker (karma!) and his parents are so embarrassed by it they disown him and cut him off.

YOU BASTARDS THINK THIS SOME KIND FUCKIN GAME? YOU THINK I A HO OR SOMETHING? YOU THINK I CAN'T GET AT THAT BITCH ASS, YOU THINK I CAN'T TURN YOUR PUNK SHIT INSIDE OUT?

Nah, I don't think a dog of that tiny size could properly pin down and rape a full size human baby, believed me I've tried to film such situations and the baby just crawls away and cries. Very annoying. Rock solid promo to open the show. Violence is at hand! Good, choatic stuff to further Ned & Simon's beef with their old boss. Could a 4 V4 match be on hand between the OCC, CS and The Enterprise and VICE? I asked Tony to do a an AM shill center, and my homie went in and did that work. The rest of you I have to threaten with gifs of girls drippin snot in each other's eyes. POST IN THE BOOKING THREAD, YOU MISERABLE HOES! Wait, I exclude Alf from the above rant and threats of snot showers because he wrote this match after I asked him. Very good rematch with an exciting finish. Alf stays winning! Wish we could've seen Alf Vs TK also, that'd been nice to have. The Leon/PRL/Maggie skit had me almost as much as when I found out The Rocks will name was Dwayne way back in middle school. You don't know how shocking it was to learn his name ain't no Rocky Maivia. Anyway back to PRL/Leon, there's some added heat between these two dudes now with Maggie in the mix, gotta wonder if the fued will continue post friendly competition at AM. I swerved Tony! I ain't no sucka ass MC keepin stats in my head but I think that's only COD's 4th or 5th loss as a team. Very nice and very huge mainevent between two OAOAST legends. I liked the little touch with Bo watching the match backstage, it was a good thing as he and Zack haven't had much interaction since the show couple weeks ago. Great shit here.

If you don't use the booking thread THIS is the future that awaits you PS I came in @ a minute & a half watching that shit

As announced on HD WOMEN'S TITLE Jade Rodez-Duncan Vs Morgan Nerdly

I have done the unthinkable and responded to this thread at The Pit, because your OAOAST president plays team ball and plays with his team's balls no homo

I have added another masterwork, a promo in tradition of the neo-cubist O'green style, before mad cappa vs prl!

The very last HD before AM, if there's more than saaaaaaay two matches I'll b be shocked! I know I ain't writin one with two AM matches still needing to be finished. Or started actually. But go ahead and book something!

When all is edited in this could be a pretty good show!

COLE Fans, it has been another historic night for the OAOAST, and in just a few moments, we are going to relive what many would call the most pivotal match in OAOAST history. Two men, now friends, now both the leaders of this company, both inside and outside of the squared circle. Zack Malibu and Anglesault have built this company on respect that has forged a friendship for nearly six years, however, it wasn't always that way. Let us take you back now to Anglemania II, and the main event with Anglesault defending the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Zack Malibu. FLASHBACK~! The main event of Anglemania II saw without a doubt the OAOAST's top two athletes embroiled not only in a battle for the World Championship, but for the right to be called The Franchise. A young Zack Malibu, barely a year into his OAOAST tenure, blazed through the ranks while earning tremendous fan support, and it was on this night that he found himself against a man who could be called nothing less than his polar opposite...the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Anglesault. Zack and Anglesault don't flinch, both men burning a hole through the other with their glares. Zack extends his hand, and AS looks down, quickly slapping it away. Zack shrugs, and extends his hand again in a show of sportsmanship. AS slaps it away again, and gets in Zack's face, pointing his finger at him and mouthing off. Zack paces back and forth for a second, and turns back to AS, then floors him with a right hand! It's on! AS got taken by surprise by that shot, and gets to his feet, massaging his jaw. Zack grabs him by the arm and backs him to the ropes, trying for an Irish Whip, only to have AS counter, grabbing him for a belly to belly, but Zack counters with a headlock takeover! AS slips out, coming from behind and locking a full nelson on Malibu. Zack squirms free, breaking from the grip of the champ, then counters by coming behind AS, shoving him towards the ropes while he holds on with a waistlock. Zack tries for a rollup, but Anglesault holds onto the top rope, keeping him grounded. Zack rolls backwards and pops up to his feet, and charges at Anglesault. AS tries a lariat, which Zack ducks, and both men bounce off the ropes...shoulderblock collision in the center of the ring, and neither man budges! We're back to where we started with a staredown, as the crowd roars in approval! Both men arrived in tremendous condition, neither one willing to back down from the onslaught of the other, and it wasn't until Anglesault resorted to sheer brutality that a full advantage was taken in the contest. As Zack Malibu tried to land his trademark School's Out superkick, Anglesault snapped, and began mercilessly pummeling the popular superstar. ...NO! NO! ANGLESAULT SLAMMED THE CHAIR ON ZACK'S FOOT! ZACK GOES DOWN! JR Oh man, Zack may be hurt and hurt badly. Zack falls down, clutching at his right ankle, as replays show that AS saw the trademark kick coming, and smashed the chair into Zack. Zack is screaming, and there is a great fear that his foot may be shattered. Zack tries back away from AS, trying to get the time to evaluate his condition, but Anglesault stays on him like a rabid dog, grabbing his right leg and swinging it so that the foot crashes against the steel steps. Zack reaches up, using the apron for support to get off the floor. He starts to slide in under the bottom rope, but Anglesault grabs the bad leg again...ANOTHER SALT AND PEPPER ANKLELOCK! Anglesault, still standing outside the ring, has Zack in an Anklelock as he was getting back inside! Despite the beating, Zack stood his ground, surving the rest of the contest on one good leg, doing his best to fend off the vicious assault, until finally Anglesault's will was broken, his body tired from continuously trying to end the hopes and dreams of the popular prep. ANGLE SLAM...NO! NO! ZACK slips out, LANDING ON ONLY HIS LEFT LEG! ZACK LANDED ON ONE LEG! Kick to the gut...POP DROP! POP DROP! ZACK MALIBU COVERS! 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING * As fans and OAOAST stars rushed the ring, Zack Malibu cradled the World Heavyweight Championship for the very first time. Perhaps more importantly than winning the title itself, was that Zack's drive and will to win, combined with his ability to stand up to the power-mad Anglesault made him a role model to many, and was just the start of his status as the OAOAST Franchise. Tonight, in the center of the ring, these two men, now the best of friends, will do battle for the OAOAST World Title for the first time since that fateful night. Will Zack Malibu be able to capture another victory over the company namesake, or will Zack's days as The Franchise be ended as the former champion regains his throne? FLASHBACK OVER~! The bell sounds, and the fans cannot be kept quiet, even as Michael Buffer makes the intro's, for they know what's coming. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event of the evening! "Medal" hits, and the fans go ballistic, as the return to active duty tonight has brought the crowd to a fever pitch. Clad in his trademark singlet, ANGLESAULT comes out from the back, looking all too happy to be returning to active competition tonight. He hits the ring and does warm ups, not even bothering to play to the ground, rather he is focues on the match to come. "Getting Away With Murder" follows his song, and the fans collectively lose their minds as ZACK MALIBU, the OAOAST WORLD CHAMPION enters through a shower of pyro! With the World Title fastened around his waist, Zack heads to the ring, seemingly unnerved by the shocking announcement that he would have to make this defense against Anglesault here tonight. The two lock up, and immediately Anglesault brings Zack to the canvas with a rear waistlock takedown, then slides over him and traps him in a front facelock as the champion starts to come to his feet. A fireman's carry puts Zack down again, but as 'Sault goes for him, Zack sweeps his feet out from under him! Both men up, and Anglesault comes at Zack, who catches him and hoists him up for a bodyslam, dropping him to the canvas! As Anglesault comes to, an arm wrench follows, and then Zack connects with a hard chop before sending Anglesault to the ropes! He hiptosses him over, but as he leans down, Anglesault kicks him off, then rolls to his feet. He lifts Zack up off his feet and throws him against the corner, then drives a knee into the gut before bringing Zack out and bieling him across the ring! Zack reels, and when he comes to Anglesault charges, only to be brought down with a drop toehold! Zack then traps him in a headlock, but Anglesault pushes up, fighting to his feet with Zack clinging to him. They come up, and he lifts Zack, only to have Malibu float over...and a SCHOOL'S OUT follows as Anglesault turns around, but he ducks and rolls at the last second, escaping the ring before Malibu can connect! COACH Anglesault's still got a little game! COLE He's certainly taking this opportunity very seriously, and is doing quite well in keeping up with Zack. Anglesault comes back into the ring, and Zack wants to tie up as soon as he comes in. Anglesault reaches up for the lockup, then boots Zack in the stomach, and then strikes with a series of forearm shots. Malibu gets sent to the ropes, but he ducks under an Anglesault lariat and nails a spinning leg lariat, wiping the OAOAST owner out! Anglesault quickly rolls to the corner and comes up, putting a hand up in surrender as he tries to gather his thoughts. Zack starts coming at him, but the champion backs off as his friend looks for a moment to recover...only to come bursting out of the corner with an attempt at a lariat! Zack ducks that and fires back with a chop that sends Anglesault reeling, then whips him to the corner, only for it to be reserved! Zack heads for the turnbuckles thanks to AS, but leaps up and backflips over Anglesault, who turns around and immediately nails Zack with a lariat as he lands, then drops for a cover! ONE! KICKOUT! COLE Anglesault not holding back one bit, and as we cut to the back here for a moment, we see Bohemoth watching on intently! (The Metrosexual Monster, sitting back in a chair, has his shades off as he views the monitor, studying the tape as his Anglemania opponent does battle tonight.) Anglesault brings Zack right up to his feet and nails a release vertical suplex, then brings Zack up again and hits a kneelift that knocks him right back on his back! He brings Zack up and fires him off into the ropes, but when he drops his head for a backrop Zack kicks it up and follows up with a discus clothesline...but Anglesault catches the arm, kicks Zack in the gut, then tosses him overhead with a belly to belly suplex! Malibu is rattled, and brings himself up by the ropes...but Anglesault charges and dumps him with a clothesline, sending the champion out to the floor! COACH The brotha hasn't lost a step! COLE He's certainly holding his own, and you have to wonder if deep down Anglesault is glad that Zack was caught off guard by the announcement, because it could lend to a psychological advantage here! Anglesault hops out of the ring to retrieve Zack, but when he does, Zack pushes him away, then comes up with a hard chop, then takes 'Sault and throws him right back in under the bottom rope. Zack follows and slingshots in from the apron with a headscissors, but Anglesault takes Zack's legs and throws him back over, onto the apron! Zack catches himself and then ducks a blow from Anglesault, dropping and hitting a shoulder to the stomach, then launches himself over with a sunset flip...but Anglesault rolls through and grabs the leg, trying for an ANKLE LOCK~! Zack kicks him off and rolls backwards to his feet, then catches AS as he comes at him with an inverted atomic drop, then nails him with the leaping lariat after getting momentum from running the ropes! COLE Speaking of advantages, the World Champion is gaining quite a bit of it right now! Zack hits a kneedrop on Anglesault, then brings him up and staggers him with a European uppercut. He goes for a suplex, but Anglesault slips behind him, then hooks him for a German...but Zack floats over the attempted suplex, then runs AS to the ropes, looking for a rollup! 'Sault clings to the ropes as Zack rolls back, and when Zack charges him the OAOAST CEO drops down and pulls the top rope down, sending Zack spilling out to the floor once again! COACH Quick thinking by the OAOAST's main man! Anglesault paces the ring, the crowd fully invested into this matchup, a rematch six years in the making. 'Sault heads out of the ring and picks Zack up, suplexing him on the floor! COLE Anglesault pulling out all the stops here tonight! COACH It's the chance of a lifetime, Cole. A chance to regain his former glory. Even against his buddy Hack Malibu, he can't be too lenient with his offense! Malibu howls in pain, cringing as pain shoots up his spine. Anglesault brings him up, and continuing with the focus on Zack's back, rams him into the apron! He then shoves Zack under the bottom rope, back into the ring. He goes and hooks Zack's leg again, but Zack lunges for the ropes, looking desperately for something to grab onto. He squirms and manuevers as Anglesault tries to lock the leg, but Malibu manages to roll over...but as he goes to kick off this time, Anglesault hooks the other leg and catapults Zack over the ropes! Zack grabs on, and SKINS THE CAT~! back in, catching Anglesault by the head and snapping him to the canvas with a headscissors! Anglesault rolls across the canvas, and when he gets to his feet, he's met with a dropkick! He gets up again, and this time it's a European uppercut that floors him! Zack then goes to pick AS up, but when he does, Anglesault hooks him by the head and rolls him up with a cradle! ONE! T-KICKOUT! The two get up, but immediately Anglesault hooks Zack, and brings him over with a Northern Lights suplex! ONE! TW-NO! Zack bridges up, and twists around so that he brings Anglesault's shoulders to the mat with a backslide! ONE! T-NO! Anglesault kicks out, and as they get to their feet again, drives a knee into Zack's stomach, then hooks the waistband of his tights and swings him chest first into the turnbuckles! Zack staggers back, right into a German suplex by Anglesault! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE It looks like friendly sportsmanship is turning into a game of one-upsmanship! Anglesault gets up and looms over Zack, rolling him onto his stomach and then unloading with crossface shots to his opponent! Zack tries to cover up, and manages to slide out behind Anglesault, yanking his legs out from under him! Anglesault comes up stunned, and Malibu hits a jawbreaker to keep the tide in his favor, further rattling the former aWo leader! Zack gets to his feet, and when Anglesault turns to him he's wide open for SCHOOL'S OUT...but Anglesault catches it and spins him around right into an ANGLE SLAM~! COACH He hit the slam, Mikey Cole! Anglesault covers, hooking the leg for all it's worth, as the crowd chants along! ONE! TWO! NO! SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST SECOND! COLE Zack Malibu kicked out of the Angle Slam! COACH The same move Zack uses as a tribute to Anglesault nearly just cost him his World Heavyweight Title! Anglesault brings a weary Zack up and sends him to the corner, then nails him with a lariat as he's pressed against the turnbuckles! Anglesault then sets Zack up on the top, hooking for a superplex, but Malibu fights off, driving his fist into the ribcage of AS! 'Sault responds by hammering Zack across the back, but Malibu makes a desperate shove and sends Anglesault to the canvas! Anglesault lands on his feet and goes charging in, but Zack delivers a kick to stun him, then hooks him for a Tornado DDT...but Anglesault throws him off! Zack moves for him, but Anglesault drives a knee into the gut, then swings around Zack...GERMAN SUPLEX! AS hangs on, and both men come up...GERMAN NUMBER TWO! He rolls them to their feet again, but this time Zack starts firing back elbows, freeing himself from Anglesault's grasp, then goes around...GERMAN SUPLEX FROM ZACK! THEN TWO! THEN THREE! THEN FOUR! THEN...ANGLESAULT KICKS BACK, CATCHING ZACK LOW! COACH Haha, I don't think I ever liked Anglesault as much as when I just saw him do that! COLE In the heat of a battle like this, you've got to pull out all the stops, but Anglesault just fouled his best friend! With Zack doubled over, Anglesault stuffs him into a headscissors, then powerbombs him to the canvas, and hangs onto the legs so that he can segue into the ANKLE LOCK~! COLE He's got it locked! He finally snared Zack in the trap! Anglesault wrenches, as Zack screams out, his fingers not even close to grazing the ropes! Zack stretches as far as his body will take him, scraping his chest across the canvas as he tries to reach the bottom rope...but Anglesault rears back, dragging Zack away from the ropes! COLE Could we see Anglesault vs. Bohemoth at Anglemania? Can Zack last while trapped in that devestating hold? Zack howls in pain as he pushes up off the canvas, managing to get on one foot, and he hops up and CRACKS Anglesault with an enzugiri to break! Malibu hobbles away, limping noticeably, showing the effects of the hold. Just then, Anglesault shoots for the leg, trying to take Zack down, while Zack relentlessly hammers him across the back to drive him off, then traps Anglesault's arms and hits a series of knees before carrying him over with a butterfly suplex! Anglesault comes to his feet, yanking himself up to a standing position with the aid of the ropes, and Zack is right there to Irish whip him across the ring...NO! 'Sault reverses, and ducks, allowing Zack to leapfrog...BUT HE COMES DOWN ON THE BAD ANKLE! COACH He's hurt! Right there, Mikey Cole, Zack's hurt! Zack winces, and as he ducks to favor his leg, Anglesault rushes up behind him...ANGLE SLAM~!...NO, ZACK SLIPS OUT...ANGLE SLAM BY MALIBU~! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE He got him! I don't know whether he was hurt on that or not, Coach, but that little sequence just led to a successful defense for our World Champion! Zack sits up, and upon hearing the sound of his music, breathes a sigh of relief. The referee hands Zack his prized possession, and helps him to his feet, raising his hand to signify victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...and STILL the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Zack heads up to the top rope with his belt, holding it high as flashes from cameras explode, along with the cheers of the crowd. Zack comes down the ropes and looks at Anglesault, groggy and just getting to his feet, and he offers his hand to his old friend. COLE That's what it's all about, right there. Past and present, in the ring, with a mutual respect for each other. Anglesault looks at Zack's hand, then at his other hand, which is holding the title belt that he once proudly held. Anglesault then nods his head in approval and grabs Zack's hand, shaking it and pulling his friend into a hug. COACH Ugh, Brokeback Mountain 2 did not need to happen here! COLE Stop it, would you please? Anglesault raises Zack's arm, again showcasing the victorious champion en route to Anglemania, and a matchup with another man called friend. COLE Malibu with a big win here tonight, and he's certainly got momentum in his favor as we head to the big one...ANGLEMANIA. We've got one more stop before then, and it's next week, same time, same channel. Join us for more OAOAST HeldDOWN~! fans, we'll see you next week!

LORELEI DECENZO backstage in the VICE office with… MORGAN NERDLY LORELEI Morgan, I require a favor. MORGAN Anything for you, Lori. LORELEI I need you to end your friendship with Jade. MORGAN Okay, anything for you besides ending my friendship with Jade. I know you and her maybe don’t get along- LORELEI You don’t understand. I despise that girl. MORGAN Definitely don’t get along. Really, despise? Despise is a strong word. Dislike, hated, despise, loathe, abhor. You’re very high up there. LORELEI Jade has an…unfortunate habit of letting down those who put faith into her. I used to be in your position. Hope, love, friendship, I invested all of those into Jade. I saw her turn her back on her own Uncle, two of her closest friends, merely for a fraction of Mister Moneymaker’s bank account, and I was still foolish enough to believe she was a genuine person. I befriended her outright, gave her the wisdom of my hard fought battles as a business woman, and a pillar of beauty. I took her under my wing once upon a time, I wanted her to be the next Lorelei DeCenzo. But something was wrong. Jade is not the type of person you can trust, nor is she the type you can call friend. She’s opportunistic, and money hungry, and when she saw that opportunity and money were perhaps better outside The Enterprise, she left both the stable and myself behind. No word of thank you, no apology for her humiliating betrayal of The Enterprise, it was like I didn’t even exist. She didn’t care about me, and she doesn’t care about you. MORGAN Okay, you’re way off base. Yeah, people suck and most of ‘em are jerks, but not Jade. Whaetever she was to you, I swear she’s changed. COMMERCIAL LORELEI Please. No one ever changes. MORGAN She has. The way she treated me when we hung out…I can’t explain it, but no one else has ever been like that me. No one’s ever seemed like they understood the real me, and all the shit that I’ve gone through and all the shit that I’ve done and still just liked me. Everyone’s always wanted something out of me. But Jade…she just wants to be my friend. LORELEI Morgan, you need to watch something. Lori flips on a TV, and with a click of a remote a DVD featuring Jade and Melody’s conversation from last week begins playing. JADE Why didn't you tell me? MELODY Hadoken this, bitch! JADE Melody, that's mean! MELODY Not you, Ken. Ken's the bitch. And tell you what? JADE Tell me that your little sister is a homicidal maniac! JADE I don't think I could be friends with someone like her. JADE I'm afraid if I say something wrong, she'll get upset and hurt me. She's dangerous. MORGAN Turn it off. LORELEI I think you ought to keep watching. MORGAN Turn it off. LORELEI Morgan, you need… MORGAN I said turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off! LORELEI Morgan, do you need to be alone? MORGAN How could she do this to me? I…I…was trying to help her. You have no idea the things that were running through their minds. They wanted to…hurt her. I was protecting her. LORELEI I won’t insult you by saying I can relate to how you feel. But, I know how you feel. I know you feel trapped inside your own body,feeling imprisoned in your flesh, forced to suffer the kind of punishment no one should ever suffer. I know you feel like you’re a great cosmic mistake, don’t you? MORGAN Yeah… LORELEI Like you don’t belong her, like your entire birth was just some royal mix up by the Universe. I know how it feels like your brain is attacking you, how you can wake up and suddenly your mind assaults you with this depression and these homicidal thoughts. And you think you’re a bad person because of that. You think you’re a monster. MORGAN She said she wouldn’t judge me. I believed her. But, people don’t wanna be friends with monsters. No one wants to hang out with the bad guy. I just wanted a chance to be normal. LORELEI The universe never gave you that chance, though. It gave you this disease of depression and then it set the rest of the awful, cruel, judgmental world against you. Hasn’t it? MORGAN I just wanted to know what its like to feel like every one else. Having friends, hanging out, laughing… LORELEI Why? These people are the monsters, not you. They discriminate against you don’t they? They write you off as weird, or emo, or crazy. They minimize your pain. Everyone does, don’t they? MORGAN Yeah they do. They do. LORELEI You’ve been in and out of mental hospitals before. MORGAN I needed help, I needed to be kept away so I couldn’t hurt myself or anyone else. LORELEI But society doesn’t care about that. No, they think you’re tainted, and damaged. They look at people with mental health issues with scorn. They openly mock them. Tony Brannigan made a sucide watch joke today, what did you think of that? MORGAN I hated it. I hated him. They won’t joke about anything like cancer, or diabities, but they’ll taunt people like me all day long. I’d hurt him so bad….Why did she do this? I thought she was different? LORELEI The world is diseased and twisted place, Morgan. MORGAN But, I..I..I saw good in myself for the first time when I was with her. I know I’ve hurt people, and I’ve hurt myself, but I wasn’t going to hurt her, I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But those people…I just wanted to protect her. LORELEI You need to let it out. You deserve revenge. MORGAN How? What can I do? LORELEI All the anger you feel, all the times you’ve been betrayed, all the times you’ve hurt someone or someone else has hurt you. You can take it all out on her. MORGAN I was never going to hurt her. LORELEI The world’s backed you against a corner Morgan and its kept you there all your life. You’ve tried to fight back, but you just haven’t been successful. This is your chance to lash out and leave a scar on a world that’s given you tons. Take her women’s title. Take it at Anglemania. MORGAN I’ll do it then. If she thinks I’m a monster, then you know what, I’ll be her monster. I’ll hurt her like never before. LORELEI Hurt them all like never before. COMMERCIAL

ANGLEMANIA VI REMATCH: CHICKS OVER DICKS VS THE ENTERPRISE PLZ LISTEN TO THIS SONG AS YOU READ MY VIDEO PACKAGE. OKAY, MOMMY? The green strobe lights wash across the entrance stage, as yellow lights flicker on the floor. Beneath a video screen that displays The Enterprise’s greastest triumphs and conquests, steps the impeccably dressed Christian Wright and his robed partner, Theodore Moneymaker. The fans do not warmly receive the duo, and their jeers and boos bounce across the arena walls. Tuning out this disdain, The Enterprise representatives pass each other hand shakes and then make their way down the ramp. BUFFER The following is an Anglemania VI rematch! Now making their way to the ring, introducing first from Washington DC, The Natural CHRISTIAN WRIIIIIGHT! And from Vero Beach, Florida, he is an Angle Award winning billion-dollar heir, he is The Messiah…MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Moneymaker throws his arms up into the sky, throwing green pyro into the air atop the video screen. Wright stands at his side, applauding his leader and singing his praises to a crowd that doesn’t wish to hear it. COLE Our night of Anglemania rematches continues with the renewing of an intense rivalry between Chicks Over Dicks and The Enteprise. Christian Wright has faced America’s Sweethearts two times in his Anglemania career, coming up short on both ends. The story between these four is very well known, with Moneymaker exposing Jade as Krista’s child, Alix leaving Krista to join The Enterprise, COD battling The Enterprise all throughout the summer of 07. So much history here in this match. Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! COLE The return of Chicks Over Dicks is at hand! There’s a tremendous outpouring of screams and cheers for the soon to be arriving four time tag team champions. While the always glamorous pink pyro waterfall streams from the ceiling, the chants of “C-O-D! C-O-D!' are already out in full force. Joining the festive atmosphere is a stunning red pyro fountain. The glorious displays of pyro power create a wealth of fiery sparks that scream across the dim stagging. Once the red and pink pyro disappears, the usual golden wall flames across the entirety of the entrance stage, it's sonorous shout sounding something like screaming locomotives. COACH I hate that one! Past the misty remnants, stands Krista Isadora Duncan. Her buxom chest strains to be free of a tight yellow diamond encrusted tank top. A flirty lace skirt, slit on each side, showcases an ample portion of gorgeous legs that pour into black platform boots. She glides her fingers through her golden hair, and looks directly into the camera, offering an arrogant smirk as her gift to the viewing audience. All around her, Alix treats the entrance stage as a giant race track, darting from one side to the other, to pump their southern fanbase into a frenzy. A white A&F t-shirt hangs to teasing exposure of her midriff. Tiny white shorts reach no further then the steeply jutting slope of her BUTT, her enticing cheeks shimmering tan, round and voluptuous. Ally's prancing is cut short, the moment Krista's hands intertwine with her's. Krissy twirls Alix through the gleaming lights, before hiding her within the loving safety of her arms. Krista's gentle hands treasure her body, kneading it's every curve and contour, enjoying the feel of her soft, silky skin. Alix gasps softly at the touch of her fingers on her hot flesh. She regains enough of her composure from the tender caress to toss her head over her shoulder, and flip a kiss into the camera. BUFFER And now teaming together for the first time in over a year, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is a two time 24/7 champion, a multi time Angle Award winner….ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a Hollywood Walk of Famer, the 2009 Wrestler of the year, best selling author, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is the OAOAST’s Miss Money In The Bank, Krista Isadora Duncan! Together they are four time world tag team champions, Hollywood “It” Girls, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! “C-O-D! C-O-D!” When the girls reach the ring, Alix grabs Krista by the waist and hoists her on the apron with startling ferocity that Krista wouldn't expect from the normally submissive Alix. With her ego swelled to bursting by the unparalleled adulation of the audience, Alix coolly reclines against the apron. She feels the smoothness of Krista's legs coil around her bare stomach, and her body tingles in immediate response. While Ally stands lost within the rapture of the pleasuring touch, Krista passes a middle finger towards the battery of cameras that flash away. COLE Krista Isadora Duncan set to meet up with Mister Dick at Anglemania with Lindsay Lohan on hand. An explosive match on an explosive Anglemania card! Moneymaker snarls as he examines Krista’s hateful stare. Contempt coloring his face, he steps into a lockup with the fitness queen. He doesn’t stay in that position for long, using it as a trap to lower her defenses so he can wing a punch into her throat. Now short of breath, she’s incapable of stopping the billion dollar heir from whipping her into the ropes. When she returns to her foe, he wraps his hands around her slender waist and upends her with a back body drop. But her incredible agility sees her come down on her Guess pumps, and as Moneymaker spins around one of those very same pumps comes screaming towards his head. Fortunately for him he catches hold of her heel to stop it from impaling his skull. The Billion Dollar Heir taunts her his insufferable laughter, and knows full well he can slam her at any time. Krista hops back and forth on her free foot, trying to set up an enziguri. “Krista, Krista!” Alix shouts. “That’s not gonna work! You need to do something smarter!” “Such as?” “I’ll go get your shotgun, and see if anyone has any dynamite!” As this is not a Roadrunner cartoon, Krista forgoes the offer of dynamite and succeeds in pulling off her enziguri! “No fair, you never let me exercise my right to bear arms.” Alix complains as the fans cheer. Alix is given other reasons to complain when CW enters the ring and clubs his long time tormentor in the back. That simple cheap shot does enough to buy Moneymaker the time he needs to get back upright. His forearms come down on Krista’s back, causing her so much damage that she drops down to her knees. She isn’t allowed a chance to stay there and catch her breath though; Moneymaker hauls her inside a front facelock and pulls her upright. His hands clutch onto the waistband of her skirt and within seconds she’s lifted into the air and brought to the ground with a vertical suplex. The Billion Dollar Heir then floats over and barks at referee Buzzlefoxer to count the pin… ONE! TWO! But Krista’s shoulder comes off the canvas. Displeased with what he believes to be a slow count, Moneymaker proceeds to lay into the elderly referee for being…elderly. “Dude, you have a poppy seed in your teeth. It’s a big one you might wanna go to the bathroom and check that out.” Alix helpfully comments. Moneymaker ceases his grousing to offer a deeply annoyed growl at Alix. Refocusing his attention back on Krista, he brings her upright with a grip on her luscious yellow locks. A knee strike finds its way into her midsection, a blow she’s able to absorb with her six pack abs. But a punch to the throat keeps her on the defensive and allows The Messiah to throw her into the ropes. Running back to Moneymaker, she’s caught in set up for hip toss. But, she resorts to grade school bullying and stomps on his shoe. The Billion Dollar heir hollers with agony, and allows himself to have Krista rest her 5 million dollar leg on his neck. The other half of her ten million dollar insurance baby flips her into the air, breaking her fully out of Moneymaker’s grip. The Floridian is deeply upset at her escape and with a snarl he lunges at her with a lariat. But Krista ducks bellows his strike and quickly swings to his back to hook in a rear waistlock. Unfortunately even her fitness queen strength can’t hold the muscular tycoon, and he easily shreds apart her grip to whirl into a waistlock of his own. Eschewing any moves that can be performed from that position, he smacks her in the back of the head and drops her to her knees. Her hands find her aching skull, and she cries out in agony over the misery he’s caused her. “Now face the mighty power of Moneymaker!” He cries and then brings Miss Money In The Bank into a setup for a back suplex. He raises her into air, preparing for the lethal suplex. Despite his powerful strength, Krista manages to flip out his hold out his hold. A disgusted Moneymaker turns around to flatten Krista and instead gets a wad of spit in the face! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Alix isn’t as pleased, “Krista, I know the whole spit versus swallow thing doesn’t apply to us, but still that was kinda rude.” Krista seems to agree with her girlfriend’s sentiments and pulls out napkin from her top. Will she wipe Moneymaker’s face off? No, she merely spits on the napkin and wipes the spit on Moneymaker’s face. This infuriates the Billion Dollar Heir, but there’s little he can do to assuage his anger as Krista’s well insured legs throw him over with a beautiful hurricanrana! Just as soon as he touches down on the canvas, The Enterprise CEO is making a quick return to his feet. But he continues to be stymied by Krista who puts him down with a majestic springboard moonsault lariat. “Now face the mighty power of my middle finger.” Krista taunts him in mocking version his haughty voice and then promptly gives him the middle finger. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream and they continue to scream as Krista applies the tag to Alix. The audience’s cries grow all the louder when the brunette hottie steps into the ring for the first time in a year. “Alix basks in the adulation of her fans. She smiles at their loving reception for welcome return to OAOAST.” “Are you narrating yourself?” Krista wonders. “Totally! It may be the best idea I’ve ever had.” “Uh-huh. And for normal humans it’s the worst idea anyone’s ever had.” “Alix frowns, but can still hold some joy in knowing that her bouncing breasts are not the work of skilled Beverly Hills doctors.” Moneymaker throws himself off the ropes, hoping to gain speed for a billion dollar knee lift. But as he nears Alix with knees raised, the Hollywood Bad Girl leaps towards him and snaps his entire body back with a harsh neckbreaker. He quickly scurries back to his feet, but finds himself under attack from a wave of strikes from her furry boots. Miss Spezia then strikes a preying mantis pose and makes odd hissing sounds before striking her foe with a karate chop. COLE Alix hasn’t lost any of what made her Alix, I see! Still the same goofy but effective girl she’s always been. The Latina babe takes hold of Moneymaker’s legs and then sling shots him towards his corner. Wright realizes his boss is in urgent need of a breather and applies an emergency tag. This does not, however, prevent the billion dollar air’s lower back from being mangled by the rolling shoulder charge of Miss Spezia. Eager to save his employer from further beatings, Wright hastily ushers Mister Moneymaker out the ring. He then casts a stern glare towards Alix, as if to say he won’t fall for any of her tomfoolery. “Hi, Christy, umm everytime ya wrestle one of us, Queen Fairy Mary sprinkles some miracle gro on your happy place, aaaaand maybe you just should close your eyes.” “Close my eyes? Woman, art thou mad? I will do nothing of the sort!” Alix shrugs her shoulders, and resigns herself to the “difficult” task of having to humiliate CW once more. She runs towards him, angling her body low to avoid the spinning elbow he throws at her. Her run pushes her off the ropes, and when she returns she leaps with her arm around CW’s neck for a tornado DDT. But The Natural is well prepared for this move, and places his hand on her lean stomach to shove her away. Seeing her land near the corner brings a smile to CW’s face, as he feels she’s in perfection position to be flattened by a lariat. But when he charges on on her, the speedster effortlessly slides away leaving him to suffer an awful crash into the ring posts. As the audience cheers his misfortune The Hollywood Bad Girl leaps upward and strikes him in the face with a leaping heel kick. He screams out in agony and sags against the posts, blood trickling out the corner of his mouth. Alix then cartwheels forward and unfurls her body into a lethal elbow smash that strikes him perfectly in the jaw. Wright stumbles out the corner, and that gives Alix the chance to run her furry boots up turnbuckles. As CW turns around to get read on his speedy foe, she throws herself backwards and crashes into him with a corckscrew moonsault! She then hooks onto his khaki pants for an all important pin… ONE! TWO! CW brings his shoulder off the canvas, which does nothing to please the sold out audience. Less annoyed then the North Carolina fans, the always cheery Alix begins bringing CW back to his feet. Her good mood is however, washed away when the snooty superstar shoots an elbow into her ribs. Three more strikes follow, and cause her enough weakness and pain that CW is able to throw her into the ropes. Her path ventures her too close to Mister Moneymaker, and her former boss swats her in the back of her with her fist. “Owwwie! Krista, the invisible man is here, and he’s trynna grab my brains! Which is funny, because you always say I have no brains, and I always say if I didn’t how would I” “That wasn’t the invisible man, that was Moneymaker, stupid!” “Oh!” Alix exclaims and then turns around and smacks The Enterprise CEO right in the face. The audience can barely cheer that display of womanly authority before CW captures control of Alix with an inverted facelock. The plucky sprite (I like that term, sprite) wrestles against CW’s grip, and quickly manages to get her fuzzy wuzzy boots onto the second rope. She then uses her gymnast worthy agility to fling her body backwards, bringing herself out of Wright’s grip and onto her feet. Before Wright even has a chance to damn her escape, our heroine is dropkicking him through the ropes. “I’m gonna wack you good!” Alix shouts and then runs up the top rope in order to leap off it. Her lovely tan legs wrap around CW’s neck and hurricanrana him back into the ring. Although dizzied he makes a shockingly fast return upright, and spots Alix pushing herself off the ropes. Having seen her arrival, he’s able to snap powerslam her over into a stunning pin… ONE! TWO! Alix lifts her shoulder off the canvas, which greatly pleases OAOAST Marks. But, the audience can’t continue their thanks to Wright dropping a set of elbows onto Alix’s collarbone. He uses a front facelock to guide her too the canvas, and a handful of her booty shorted romper lets him lift her into the sky. Alix doesn’t wish to incur any damaging move from this setup and begins rifling her knees into his skull. This tactic finds success and a pained Wright is forced to drop her back on her feet. Unfortunately for her, he recovers rather quickly and as she leaps up for a dropkick he counters her into a spine buster! As Krista and the fans recoil in shock, The Natural attempts a pin… ONE! TWO! Again Alix kicks out! “YEEEAAAAAAAAA!” “Staid squire, far be it for me to hold compunction to your pinfall counting, but I dare say that pin may existed for the proper three second duration.” Wright comments, marking that as the most polite complaint ever lodged against a referee. Satisfied at having been heard, Wright clamps down on Alix as she stands back up with an abdominal stretch. COLE The Enterprise has seen more turnover than I believe any stable in the OAOAST, and that’s in most part due to Moneymaker’s terrible treatment of his workers. But Wright has always stood by his boss, never once faltering. “Hey, I know I’m supposed to be on the like the verge of death or whatever, but you mind if I tell ya a story?” “Insolent tart! I hold no wishes to play audience to your tales!” “I think you’re gonna like this one, dude.” “Be quick about it. There’s only a few more seconds before your rib cage snaps.’ “Okay so one time in high school was hiking with my soccer team, and oh no I got lost! And I’ve seen Lion King and I know the types that hang out in forests and Scar ain’t gonna do me like he did Mufasa. This Lion’s got bite, baby! Anyway so I’m wandering through Shrewood Forest robbing from the rich givin to the poor and this old mountain dude stops me, right?” “This is absurd! You shouldn’t even be able to take a breath!” “Yeah, funny how that works. So this old huge burly mountain dude stops me and cute 18 year old co-ed trapped in lonely woods with scary mountain guy? First thing I think is, oh no I’m missing teletubbies. And he’s like, you gotta worry about bears! He said the best way to protect against bears is if we lie face down on top of each other. And he lied on top of me to protect me. But Bears smell fabric softener real well so we had to take off our clothes! He said movement also scares bears, so he started wiggling on top of me. It must’ve been really exhausting because he kept grunting and panting. But he was super nice because he kept asking me how I liked it I wanted him to go faster. I guess I looked famillar to because he asked me who my daddy was a few times. And he must’ve kept his water bottle because it kept on poking me, and I guess it broke because after a while some of it got on my back and it like deflated or something.” WRIGHT The latest humiliation in a long list of humiliations that could stretch to the outer reaches of spaces concludes with a weakened CW being hip tossed to the ground. His large (small?) shame is immediately covered up by his hands. But his move to save his reputation comes at the cost of his face, as Alix decides to use it as the dance floor to introduce the newest dance craze to the nation…. “Charlotte, this is who I be! Got my homegirl the Notrious KID kickin it live with me. Bitch I’m wild! Do the Freaky Alix! Do the Freaky Alix! When I hit the dance flo, I be do Freaky Alix! Freaky Alix! When Christian busts down his doh and finds his mom freakin me like a ho he’s doing the Freaky Alix! Now you can lean wit it, and you can drop wit it, and I don’t think Christian’s rape charges gonna be acquit. Now get it! Now get it! Now get it! That’s what the inmates’ll say when Christian drops the soap. Mexican Mafia, hit the booty do! Black guerrilla family, hit the booty do! Aryan Nation, hit the booty do! Christian can’t escape prison guards settin up blockades, everyone watchin’ like it’s thanksgiving day parades, boy, I hope Christian don’t get that Aids. Do the Freaky Alix! Do the Freaky Alix! Do the Freaky Alix!” The hottest dance since the superbowl shuffle comes to a close with The Hollywood Bad Girl dropping a leg across Wright’s neck. Happy with her choreographing debut, Alix scoots onto CW for a fall… ONE! TWO! Wright pushes his way out the pin, and immediately starts looking for a way out this troubling situation. Salvation doesn’t seem to be forthcoming due to a whistling Alix bringing him off the canavs. Keeping up her whistling while she works, Alix latches onto CW’s arm in order to set up a single arm DDT. But her comparatively weak grip can’t hold the 2005 rookie of the year, and he easily busts out. Alix is quick to recover, however, and attacks The Natural with flesh searing knife edge chops. Having weakened him with the simple blows, she runs to the ropes and leaps into the air to roll through her foe with a high flipping lariat! Kipping up, she busts out a bit of head banging before sending a dropkick towards Wright. But once again, CW evades the simple strike, by capturing hold of her legs. Alix falls to the canvas, but with her legs still tangled inside Wright’s arms she’s left at his mercy. What mercy he shows isn’t much; The Natural throws his body backwards and tosses Alix into the canvas with a wheelbarrow suplex. She lies sprawled out on the canavs, her agonized face shrouded by her chocolate hair. Wright laughs at this misfortune that’s came to her as he moves to his corner and applies the tag with Moneymaker. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Billion Dollar Heir brings her to her feet where he attaches her into a front facelock. He chuckles at Krista and then raises Alix into air. After a delay to show off his superior strength, he falls backwards, torpedoing her neck straight into the ring with a deadly brain buster DDT! The impact of the deathly attack shocks Alix into long tortured screams, ones that cause Krista to urge her to get up and fight back. But Krissy’s wish remains ungranted, and her mood only worsens when she watches Moneymaker drive a fistful of dollars into her upper back. COLE The loss at Anglemania VI hurt Moneymaker very deeply, ever since that night he’s gone out of his way to torment and torture Krista. Feeling that the former Enterprise member deserves more punishment before she’s pinned, Moneymaker happily brings her into a standing head scissors. A throat slash gesture infuriates Krista, and draws her into the ring to level sharp threats at Moneymaker. The tycoon only smiles at her harsh words and proceeds to spike Alix’s head into the canvas with a pile driver! Her hands instantly find her now sore neck, and pain stretches across a face reddened with exhaustion. The billion dollar heir wishes to keep the pressure on the Californian, and yanks her off the mat to tighten his arms around her in a sleeper hold. Alix struggles against his noose like grip, fighting with her every ounce of energy for her freedom. But her efforts are for naught as Mister Moneymaker brings her crashing into the canvas with a sleeper drop. After promising Clem his retirement fund will be well cared for, the unscrupulous businessman hooks the leg for a fall… ONE! TWO! Alix kicks out, which lets the fans breathe a little easier. Moneymaker, however, retracts all promises made to Clem and assures the elderly referee he’ll spend his dying days in an outhouse. Finished dressing down the official, Moneymaker pulls Alix up by her arm and uses it to fling into the ropes. On her return he attempts to brandish her with an overhand right, but much to his chagrin she slides her body between his legs. Not giving him a moment to turn around, the Latina leaps onto his shoulders. She agilely swings around and throws him over with a crowd pleasing hurricanrana! Seeing his boss go down with such force spurs The Natural into the ring, wielding a lariat. “Uh-oh, I’m in deep pickles!” Alix cries. But the cute brunette solves her own problem by leaping forward and nearly concussing The Natural with a spinning wheel kick. She celebrates with a round of disco dancing that’d make Vinny proud or perhaps wonder if his purpose in the OAOAST is now irrelevant. Either way her flashback to 70s is interrupted by The Billion Dollar Heir snatching her into a rear waistlock. But Moneymaker’s hold doesn’t do him much good; Alix grabs onto his neck and uses it to flip herself behind her foe. Limiting herself to a brief two-step routine, she crushes Moneymaker’s neck into the canavs with an inverted DDT! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the fans cheer as Alix proceeds to use Moneymaker’s back as a surfboard. No not the move, an actual surfboard. Once done hanging ten, Alix leaps off the heir to the Moneymaker fortune and makes the tag with Krista! The fitness queen uses the ropes to propel herself with a shooting star press towards the wounded Moneymaker. But his trusted right hand man comes to his aid and clotheslines her right the air! She touches down with gruesome impact, her neck contorting awkwardly upon hitting the canvas. Her screams and those of the audience’s fill the air, as Alix panics on the ring apron. Alix’s fear isn’t eased any, when Moneymaker scrapes Krista’s carcass off the mat and lifts it onto his shoulders for a powerbomb. But both Alix and the fans are given a treat by Krista slipping out Moneymaker’s grasp and striking him with the x-factor! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Krista dives on top of her hated rival for a pinfall. But before Buzzlefoxer can even think to score this latest fall, CW is pulling Krista off his associate. With one hand on her ankle, he leads her upright, hoping to hold her in place for a rising Moneymaker. But his plan results only in failure as Krista knocks him away with a majestic back flip kick. Wright has served as good cannon fodder for Moneymaker, and the billion-dollar heir jumps Krista from behind with pointed elbow strikes. His arms fall across her waist, and that hold grants him the power to throw her backwards with a bridging german suplex! As the fans cringe from the devastating nature of the hold, Buzzlefoxer makes his count… ONE! TWO! But Alix breaks up the pin! COLE Folks, we have to take a quick commercial break, but please don’t go away, we’ve got more coming up! COMMERCIAL Returning from break, a wounded Krista is trying to rise from the mat on her own accord. Her enemy emphatically tries to show her that it would've been wiser to stay on the mat and get pinned, by throwing a sidekick towards her midsection. But she catches firm hold of his shoe, indefinitely delaying the strike. She shakes her head like an admonishing mother, then dizzies her rival by spinning him in a 360 rotation. When the tycoon comes back to face her, she gives him a taste of his own medicine by striking him in the gut. The sex kitten then sweeps around Moneymaker, and catches him into an inverted 3/4th face. Seconds later she flips forward into a black and gold blur, violently twisting her adversary to the ground with a flipping neckbreaker. A grotesque pain seeps into Moneymaker’s clobbered neck, as the crowd bestows Krista’s sensational attack with an enormous cheer. But The Enterprise’s dirty tactics rear their uglyhead once more with Wright entering the ring to clobber Krista with a side Russian leg sweep. Moneymaker throws Miss Money In The Bank into the corner where she slams front first into the turnbuckles. Having plenty of padding in the chest area, Krista is able to shrug off the blow, and when Moneymaker makes a mad charge towards her she counters with an elbow to his face. The fans cheer as they watch the most hated man in the OAOAST stagger backwards with hands shielding his sore face. Krista keeps Wright docile by lifting up her skirt just enough to show some of her outer thigh, and blowing him a kiss. More worried about his fast expanding beef burrito than Mister Moneymaker, Wright stays on the outside to watch Krista come off the second rope with a cross body block. However, Moneymaker recovers and shifts to his side to plant Krista into the canvas with a brutal DDT! She shrieks in agony, feeling as though her head had been split open with a pick axe. Seeing her misery brings a smile to Moneymaker’s face, and he decides to share the joy with CW and makes a tag to his friend. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” Wright snaps at the incredibly annoying OAOAST Marks “SILENCE! SILENCE! SILENCE!“ “SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!” they chant back. COACH We always got a great and classy crowd in the OAOAST. The kind of family atmosphere you can feel comfortable bringing your kids to. Drawing of knowing she’s not alone in her quest to make Wright’s life a miserable hell, Krissy lifts herself off the canvas. Problematically, she raises herself directly into the waiting clutches of her enemy's front face lock. Wright clamps down onto her skimpy micro skirt then foists her into her air, holding her into position to showcase what he believes to be impressive strength. Her flowing blond hair spills freely across his arm, while he giggles treacherously over the pain he's soon to inflict upon her. As the audience jeers the predicament he’s forced Krista into, The Natural dives backwards and spikes Krista’s head into the canvas with a punishing brain buster. The fans react with horrified shrieks, as a replay of the devastating hold flashes on the video screens. His teeth shine with a satisfied chuckle, as he goes for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out, and the fans loudly sing her name in celebration. Wright feels incredible frustration over failing to gain a three count and so takes that frustration out on Alix by elbowing her off the ring apron. Alix falls over onto the outside mats, struggling to cope with the headache Wright has just caused her. Smirking with pleasure over his misdeed, Wright returns to Krista, who’s managed to find her way back upright. His arms slide around her thin waist and then bring her into the air, before violently slamming her to the canvas with a side slam. Krista hollers out in pain, hearing the awful sound of her bones cracking against the solid mat. Wright stretches his body across her’s for another pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista gets her shoulder off the canvas, and is punished by a round of closed fists from The Natural. He brings her to her feet and throws her into the ropes. Lowering his head, he expects her to leap frog him. But these expectations go unmet and the wrestler of the year is thrown to the canvas by a crowd popping sunset flip! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Wright lifts his shoulder up at the last possible microsecond. Rushing back to his feet, he’s able to meet Krista with a European uppercut that sends her massive sweater puppets a bouncing WRIGHT Fully aware that there’s absolutely zero hope for his libido charged partner, Moneymaker makes sure Krista can’t seize the advantage by leveling her with a diving lariat. Senile Clem doesn’t seem to recall that this isn’t a handicap match and so allows Moneymaker to stay in the ring to plot out a double team. Together he and The Natural throw Krista into the ropes, and as the blonde beauty returns they grab her well insured legs and launch her flipping figure high into the sky. To the fans outrage and horror, the walk of famer comes down directly on her neck. So hurt by this gruesome landing, she can hardly manage a single cry of pain. As Wright clears out the ring, Moneymaker attempts a cover…. ONE! TWO! Another heroic kickout by Krista brings upon a wave of fury from Moneymaker and he chews out both opponent and referee alike. Yet its only Krista who has to suffer physical torment; Moneymaker picks her up merely to smash her back against his knee with a harmful backbreaker. “MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” “SILENCE!” CW screams As the fans ignore Wright’s orders for quietude, the money maven whips Krista into the ropes. Though she returns with lightening speed, Moneymaker is still ready for her, and leaves her lying with a spinning elbow. Looking over his shoulder at his whimpering handiwork, he smiles and offers himself a round of applause. “Now you know why the call me The Messiah!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Moneymaker’s mere words might as well be rousing gospel to the crowd, as they’re even more infuriated to see him throw their beloved heroine to the outside mats. The front row fans do their best to rally and encourage Krista, but their pleas fall on deaf ears. Wright lifts her up and uses her body as battering ram to run straight through the guard rail. She screams in pain, a pain that grows horribly with the stomps of CW Brook’s Brothers loafer. “You better leave her alone, meanie!” “And what if I chose not to?” Wright calls back to Alix ALIX TO CW Under fire from a missile launch of bottles, balls, and OAOAST merchandise, CW knows its time to surrender and relinquishes Krista back into the ring. However, to Ally’s great displeasure, The Natural follows Krista inside, eying down a miserable double team with his partner in white collar crime. Together they hurl Krista into the ropes, and as she returns they step forward to lacerate her with a double lariat. But Krista ducks down and serves them both a BLUE BALL SPECIAL! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Wright is seemingly spared from the extraordinary pain when Krista abruptly pulls her hand away. Unfortunately a new, more maddening pain appears when Krista stares at her hand and shrieks “AH SYPHLIS!” Not giving The Natural a chance to defend himself against STD allegations, Krista chucks Moneymaker into him and the pair topple over to huge cheers from the North Carolina fans. The good mood continues as Krista dives backwards and makes the tag with The Hollywood Bad Girl. COLE Alix back in this match! Moneymaker is eager to make certain Alix poses no threat to his team and charges her with a shoulder block. But Alix uses the ropes to aid in her counter, and upends the onrushing billionaire with a spring board dropkick! Leaving Moneymaker behind to nurse his wounds, The Hollywood Bad Girl once again uses the ropes as a launching pad. This time her path carries her towards CW, and she violently twists his neck with a flipping neckbreaker! ALIX “YEAAAAAAAA!” COACH Is that dog humping your teddy bear? COLE Mister Poppers! Noooooooo! Moneymaker retries his effort to calm down Alix’s surge. But he doesn’t even get within inches of the Latina cutie, as Krista spears him through the ropes to grand cheers from the audience. Both competitors touch down on the outside mats with hard, booming impact, but even still Krista manages to scramble up to her feet. “Charlotte, I didn’t come here to wrestle, I could do that against hobos in Skid Row on Sundays like Alix . I came to get drunk, where the disgusted eyes of my youngest daughter can not fill me with shame. Lay a beer on me!” Krista gets several beers and more than happily downs their contents. What she can’t stomach for fear of alcohol poisoning, she empties onto Moneymaker’s body as he uses the guardrail to pull himself upright. More frustrating and more painful for The Messiah is the DDT that leaves him lying in a pool of over priced, watered down, Bud Light! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Buzzlefoxer lectures Krista over her wastefulness reminding her that in World War I he used to have to pose as an Austrian hooker just to drink yeast from the taps in Italy. Due to his preoccupation with telling Krista old war stories, he falls to notice Alix has bundled up CW with a victory roll. The audience and the fitness queen urge the referee to do his rather simple job as three seconds stretch painfully past. “BOOOOOO!” the venom from the audience is not only for Clem’s horrible referring, but also for Mister Dick who charges down the aisle with chair in hand! Despite Krista’s quick move to intercept him, The Human Hard On slides into the ring where his chair falls across Alix’s head. Just as soon as he enters, so does he depart, rushing through stands to elude a pursuing Krista! COACH Thank god for The Dick! Pin them! Pin them! Wright rolls Alix’s dazed and beaten body over for a pinfall that audience dreads with agony. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING DING DING! COACH A huge win for The Enterprise! A huge win! Wright holds his hands up in glorious triumph as The Enterprise’s theme song returns to the arena. On the outside, Moneymaker is only vaguely aware of what’s occurred, but his small recognition is enough to bring on a tiny chuckle of satisfaction. COLE Yes, indeed. Unfortunately thanks to an assist from Mister Dick, The Enterprise has claimed a victory over their greatest rivals in Chicks Over Dicks. But like Lakers/Celtics, and Yankees/Red Sox, there’s still more to be written between these four. COMMERCIAL

Backstage former OAOAST world champion Tony Brannigan is with the leather bound duo, Mister Dick and Malaysia. BRANNIGAN Tony Brannigan here in the ActionZone with The Human Hard On Mister Dick and former women’s champion, Malaysia. Both representing the Deadly Alliance and both with a bone to pick with the OAOAST Marks. MALAYSIA Plenty of bones to pick, I wouldn’t mind going into the stands and breaking some either. That’d be fun. BRANNIGAN That must be your idea of foreplay! Mister Dick, why the anger to the OAOAST Marks? MISTER DICK A lot of folks, who don’t know nothing bout me, call me vulgar and crude. These idiots sit around all day, watchin video tape of me, not for my six pack abs or toned biceps, but for my mouth, trynna see how many times I’m gonna curse, or how many times I’m gonna degrade females or how many times I’m gonna do this and that thing that they don’t like. And I say they can all go straight to hell and stay there for the rest of their life! They get a gigantic metal rod up their old wrinkled broke good for nothing ass whenever I do something and call TSM and tell ‘em to get me off the network. These people done tried to paint me as a beast, that can’t control himself! They attacked me for wanting to lay the beating on Krista’s daddy, and praised Alfdogg when he came out like a chump and played Superman. Alfdogg, you ain’t nothing but a Superbitch and I ain’t gotta have no crystal ball to see you got a Eulogy in yer future. You call yerself Alfdogg, I ain’t got no idea what that name means, boy because you ain’t Alf the alien, and you ain’t no dog, you just a chicken shit piece of crap! BRANNIGAN Jock, please! This is what people are talking about. MALAYSIA Go on, baby. Give it to them! Make them squirm. MISTER DICK Keep yer trap shut, old man, ain’t nobody in this building tryin to hear from you. When I’m done whuppin on Krista, maybe I’ll toss your carcass around the arena. You truly are a pathetic sight with your microphone and your polo shirt, lookin’ like the Josh Matthews butch loverboy. I don’t got no respect for you, Brannigan and I don’t go no respect for Krista or her lyin’ and theivin’ family neither. That alzhemiers havin’ fake hip, depends wearin bastard told me he was gonna beat on me! He laid down the challenge first, Brannigan. I accept it ‘cause I’m a man and that’s what man does. But the day of the fight comes and father time ain’t no where to be seen. He got hit with a yellow streak! He must have cats at home, cause there’s definitely some pussy in him. Listen old man, you look like the rotten corpse of an anorexic crackhead, you might have thought you was doin the right thing for your daughter, but you weren’t. You did the exact wrong thing. Cause I’m still pissed atcha, I’m still pissed at the whole Duncan clan. I can’t lay my hands on Jade, ‘cause Josie’s hanging her saggy breasts over me, hemmin and hawwin about a suspension. All I got to go after is yer family’s pride and joy, Krista. I gotta give her ass a beatin for three people. For Lindsay, for myself, and for you. MALAYSIA Don’t forget me. Don’t forget how I love watching Duncan girls’ scream. MISTER DICK Woman,you gonna be in heaven like the Holy god damn ghost come Anglemania! Old man, I plan on beatin’ yer daughter so bad every man in her family down to her great great great grandpappy is gonna feel it. Don’t think I can’t do it neither! Your daughter done went down a road that’s gonna leave her lyin in blood. I ain’t got nothing more to say than that, Brannigan. Mister Dick and Malaysia engage in a passionate and lustful kiss to end the interview. BRANNIGAN Fans, stay tuned for more of the OAOAST! COMING UP NEXT ANGLEMANIA VI REMATCH CHICKS OVER DICKS VS THE ENTERPRISE NEXT!